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Oh lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Inspired by goodnightgirl's thread.

Do you feel that your meaning or intention is usually understood here, or in person?

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I'd like to think so, once I've explained. People can be so impatient though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im generally pretty blunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think until you mean someone and can converse in person then misunderstanding them can easily happen. I'm sure people see me as a raker and a forum pest but I'm really just a dick. It matters not though, I'm just here for the song/thread title

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

I find I'm comprehended better in person

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Has happened on here fairly recently, but I clarified myself and then it was sorted. Think we all need to accept things can get misinterpreted on here and not get offended. Just ask for clarification kind of simple in my opinion

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I'm just me , that's all anyone can be

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

As far as I can tell, yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm naturally a very blunt person so usually what I'm saying/meaning comes across. I do try to tone it down a little bit so I don't come across as a complete b***h though.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

[Removed by poster at 07/01/20 10:32:15]

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

The problem on this medium is the body language and the intonation of what you're saying is missing

These are vital clues to people understanding what you're saying

Often, people may misunderstand something that is being said because of their own opinion or feeling about the subject

In person, it is less likely to happen (although it still does) as the visual and aural clues are there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in person I'm very sarcastic and jokey. my body language can be read and obviously a smile can be seen

on here I'm overly cautious about what I type as I don't want confrontations/arguments if someone has misinterpreted my comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am articulate, specific and I choose my words. I am not blunt but say what I mean. Blunt (as you all seem to put it) is a trait found in those with inadequate communication skills. A person can be honest and clear without being an asshole.

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph

I opened a thread last year under a different profile, trying to help another forumite who was quite rightly apprehensive of forum response. I went down in flames. The forumite posted eventually to explain I was posting on her behalf, and that many responses were not appropriate and please back off. The people who were out for blood and outraged would not back down and I got some unpleasant private messages. Lesson learned

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By *ndefiniteSparkMan
over a year ago

ignites minds to unite ...

Face to face would be my preference .

English is not my first language and things get lost in translation sometimes.

Puts me off from posting sometimes but getting braver now .

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I am perpetually misunderstood

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph


"I am perpetually misunderstood

"

Even your mirror when it is being licked

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

All I can say is - I try.

But its not always seen in a positive light, but I'll shine on.

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph


"All I can say is - I try.

But its not always seen in a positive light, but I'll shine on. "

You truly do shine in the forums. Your posts are always respectful and upbeat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Inspired by goodnightgirl's thread.

Do you feel that your meaning or intention is usually understood here, or in person? "

A lot of people assume my intentions based on what or who they think I am.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Usually, yes. Sometimes not. I think it's a twofold thing though - it's as much about my clarity and being authentic as it is about the other person and their willingness/ability to listen/remove their bias/general state of mind.

I'm still working on the latter; if I don't understand something I ask but it's natural to read what you think in to something. Taking a step back isn't the easiest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I try to articulate myself to avoid misunderstandings. Sometimes you have to literally spell things out for people, other times it’s less hard work.

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By *iscreet UnicornWoman
over a year ago

Windsor-ish

Nah, im a cunt on here and in person.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I'd like to think so, once I've explained. People can be so impatient though."

I agree with this.

This is why I put a lot of focus on how I say something and can seem long winded and may often come across as patronising or condescending or whatever, not that I'm worried of offending but I like my point to be as clear as possible to try and avoid miscommunication.

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours


"No I try to articulate myself to avoid misunderstandings. Sometimes you have to literally spell things out for people, other times it’s less hard work. "

I do this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's easy to get misunderstood over the internet. The onus is on both sides to assume the best outcome in case you can take something both ways. Benefit of the doubt etc....

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

We think we are understood by those who want and try to understand. There are always those (couples and men) who just think we are looking for people to have sex with without getting to know them.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I get by and always happy to elucidate

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I am perpetually misunderstood

Even your mirror when it is being licked "

My mirror image has just taken out a court order against me for inappropriate behaviour

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph


"I am perpetually misunderstood

Even your mirror when it is being licked

My mirror image has just taken out a court order against me for inappropriate behaviour "

Absolutely. A mirror has rights too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no problems in real life but am constantly being misunderstood when messaging on here. Think it’s because I try to use as few words as possible.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I have no problems in real life but am constantly being misunderstood when messaging on here. Think it’s because I try to use as few words as possible. "

That will be a major factor yes.

Tone and facial expressions in person often say a lot more than most words could in most cases.

When it comes to text, even with emojis, you have neither tone or facial expressions to help convey what you are saying, so the more detail and words used the more chance it will be clear.

Though you can never underestimate the power of human stupidity and error. Sometimes the most clear things will be misunderstood by some people.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"Inspired by goodnightgirl's thread.

Do you feel that your meaning or intention is usually understood here, or in person? "

I generally feel that there aren’t many people that really get me, in any sphere.

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

I come across so so much better in person...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m much nicer in person

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"I’m much nicer in person "

Crikey. And I thought you're amazing here.

I need a trip south.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"I have no problems in real life but am constantly being misunderstood when messaging on here. Think it’s because I try to use as few words as possible.

"

Innit

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"I’m much nicer in person "

Even if you do like marmite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m much nicer in person "

I like the sound of that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks a bunch Inaswingdress, my head was nice and empty until you started this thread.... now

Baby, do you understand me now?

Sometimes I feel a little mad

But don't you know that no one alive can always be an angel

When things go wrong I feel real bad.

I'm just a soul who has an ear worm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am articulate, specific and I choose my words. I am not blunt but say what I mean. Blunt (as you all seem to put it) is a trait found in those with inadequate communication skills. A person can be honest and clear without being an asshole. "

The art of diplomacy is a skill required for good, effective communication.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I have forum herpes, which is cool.

In general fab life, I do okay, people seem to like me.

I haven't spent a weekend on my own for about 6 months as friends are always popping by, maybe they are checking up on me, maybe they are stealing my wine, maybe they like me.

I think it's hard to second guess whether what you mean and say is actually interpreted that way on a forum/message system. Context is everything yet there is very little context in text....

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Thanks a bunch Inaswingdress, my head was nice and empty until you started this thread.... now

Baby, do you understand me now?

Sometimes I feel a little mad

But don't you know that no one alive can always be an angel

When things go wrong I feel real bad.

I'm just a soul who has an ear worm"

Mission accomplished

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"Inspired by goodnightgirl's thread.

Do you feel that your meaning or intention is usually understood here, or in person? "

Others will decide how its meantg, if I've said it I'll have meant it, my intent is to offer my opinion, some don't like the truth so they may take offence.. hey ho I don't sugar coat things.

Thats partly what the block list is used for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has happened on here fairly recently, but I clarified myself and then it was sorted. Think we all need to accept things can get misinterpreted on here and not get offended. Just ask for clarification kind of simple in my opinion"

This!

Asking for clarification has a likelihood of preventing assumptions and discovering intentions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Inspired by goodnightgirl's thread.

Do you feel that your meaning or intention is usually understood here, or in person?

A lot of people assume my intentions based on what or who they think I am. "

And measuring with their yardstick, so to speak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get by and always happy to elucidate "

You are one of the best post writers, always considerate in your approach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've found people always generally decide to jump to the wrong conclusions, and grab the wrong end of the stick and run with it. But it's the same with anything in life, people won't remember the good, but will definitely hold onto the bad, people will kick a man when he's down, but not helping up. I put it down to negative nature, and the type of world we live in around us, EG we re act the things we take in from Mindless programs like Eastenders, or Holly oaks, etc. we are what we watch. Why it's called a program. always drama, or a stolen baby, or old hag been sleeping with some other wife's man. Low vibrational things, bring out low vibrational moods. And encourage the way we express our selvs...

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Has happened on here fairly recently, but I clarified myself and then it was sorted. Think we all need to accept things can get misinterpreted on here and not get offended. Just ask for clarification kind of simple in my opinion

This!

Asking for clarification has a likelihood of preventing assumptions and discovering intentions. "

Absolutely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Occasionally, I know I'll write something spontaneously, and when I read it back later, I realise I've been a dick and could have phrased it better.

Dry humour doesnt translate well to text I find.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

[Removed by poster at 07/01/20 13:25:01]

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I assume it is, although at times it has been misunderstood or misinterpreted. As with all text based communication, a feeling, a joke as examples can all be lost, as the individual reading it does not necessarily read it in the same manner as you wrote it.

I say what I need to say, politely and considered. Some call it blunt and cold, that’s their perception, but I don’t do fluffy, just to the point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots don't give you the opportunity if they misunderstand. Then you can't explain. Tbh I think it's probably for the better some real knobs

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've gone through so many bloody earworms today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've gone through so many bloody earworms today "

Do not share another one! Finally cleared this one by getting Eric to sing it to me

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've gone through so many bloody earworms today

Do not share another one! Finally cleared this one by getting Eric to sing it to me "

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I certainly hope so

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