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Too good for a hello!

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

I just read a profile that appears to be more common on this site. I don’t know if it’s a lot more common amongst one section of the site or others.

My main search is usually for single women but I have seen these with couples profiles also. I’d imagine there are single male profiles like these too.

They’re the ones that say. DO NOT contact me with a hello, a hi or good evening. Normally followed by I’m fine thanks or some other statement that rubbishes the art of conversation. I’m sticking my neck out by saying that every conversation has a start middle and end. If you are taking the time to write me a hello I’ll respond with a hi. It is not a friggin offence to greet a stranger with hello. Be that here, vanilla sites or the real world.

Rant over enjoy 2020

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

We've just received a message that just said "Hey"

What is the point.

The only good thing is that you don't have to bother opening it before blocking and deleting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im in agreement, nothing wrong with a hello how are you, i find the war and peace type first messages off putting but guess everyone is different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've just received a message that just said "Hey"

What is the point.

The only good thing is that you don't have to bother opening it before blocking and deleting."

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"Im in agreement, nothing wrong with a hello how are you, i find the war and peace type first messages off putting but guess everyone is different "

It is all about preference. I agree with you, no need for war and peace in a first message that may not be welcomed by the recipient

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of what I've seen in my short time is a tight rope for approaching people - "You better damn well hope your opening line is something straight out of a bond movie"

"Agressive trespassers will be shot"

Doomed if you do doomed if you don't

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By *oomsMan
over a year ago

London

Yea I’m the same, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a brief/fairly generic opening message to gauge interest. Then if you get a reply the real chat can begin.

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"We've just received a message that just said "Hey"

What is the point.

The only good thing is that you don't have to bother opening it before blocking and deleting."

Agreed that is hard to progress but maybe a similar response (just a hiya) may encourage greater conversations??

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

A happy place between "hi" and war and peace does exist.

We don't usually reply to one word messages + empty profile + immediate friend request.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm afraid that I can totally understand why people feel the need to put such comments on their profiles.

Writing a message should be thought of in the same way as one might have wriiten a letter around a century ago. Put what you want to say into it. Try and engage the reader.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the assumption that, because communication is electronic, and therefore delivery virtually instant, that they are somehow engaged in a live conversation - which, of course, is not the case.

If someone wishes to capture my interest, they needto put more than just one or two words, or it's going to be deleted, and I may have formed a completely wrong impression of the sender, in thinking that they may be somewhat intellectually challenged and, lets's face it, first impressions count, and you only get one chance to make it.

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"I'm afraid that I can totally understand why people feel the need to put such comments on their profiles.

Writing a message should be thought of in the same way as one might have wriiten a letter around a century ago. Put what you want to say into it. Try and engage the reader.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the assumption that, because communication is electronic, and therefore delivery virtually instant, that they are somehow engaged in a live conversation - which, of course, is not the case.

If someone wishes to capture my interest, they needto put more than just one or two words, or it's going to be deleted, and I may have formed a completely wrong impression of the sender, in thinking that they may be somewhat intellectually challenged and, lets's face it, first impressions count, and you only get one chance to make it."

Thank you for your balanced response. I assume you’re someone who has confidence in the way he speaks/dictates letters and mails. I question how you feel when a well written, perfectly structured opening email is deleted. Does that not make you feel bad to know that someone didn’t appreciate your effort or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm afraid that I can totally understand why people feel the need to put such comments on their profiles.

Writing a message should be thought of in the same way as one might have wriiten a letter around a century ago. Put what you want to say into it. Try and engage the reader.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the assumption that, because communication is electronic, and therefore delivery virtually instant, that they are somehow engaged in a live conversation - which, of course, is not the case.

If someone wishes to capture my interest, they needto put more than just one or two words, or it's going to be deleted, and I may have formed a completely wrong impression of the sender, in thinking that they may be somewhat intellectually challenged and, lets's face it, first impressions count, and you only get one chance to make it.

Thank you for your balanced response. I assume you’re someone who has confidence in the way he speaks/dictates letters and mails. I question how you feel when a well written, perfectly structured opening email is deleted. Does that not make you feel bad to know that someone didn’t appreciate your effort or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?"

Oh, I've had messages go unread, been deleted and all sorts. You have to appreciate that this is how this site works.

Think of all those takeaway menus that get shoved through your door.

Someone might have spent a lot of time designing it, and 9 times out of 10, they'll end up in the bin.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"I'm afraid that I can totally understand why people feel the need to put such comments on their profiles.

Writing a message should be thought of in the same way as one might have wriiten a letter around a century ago. Put what you want to say into it. Try and engage the reader.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the assumption that, because communication is electronic, and therefore delivery virtually instant, that they are somehow engaged in a live conversation - which, of course, is not the case.

If someone wishes to capture my interest, they needto put more than just one or two words, or it's going to be deleted, and I may have formed a completely wrong impression of the sender, in thinking that they may be somewhat intellectually challenged and, lets's face it, first impressions count, and you only get one chance to make it.

Thank you for your balanced response. I assume you’re someone who has confidence in the way he speaks/dictates letters and mails. I question how you feel when a well written, perfectly structured opening email is deleted. Does that not make you feel bad to know that someone didn’t appreciate your effort or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?"

This is hilarious! So now ladies are thick if they don't reply?! Get a grip. They may just not fancy you, be innundated with messages or be too busy with real life.

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"I'm afraid that I can totally understand why people feel the need to put such comments on their profiles.

Writing a message should be thought of in the same way as one might have wriiten a letter around a century ago. Put what you want to say into it. Try and engage the reader.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the assumption that, because communication is electronic, and therefore delivery virtually instant, that they are somehow engaged in a live conversation - which, of course, is not the case.

If someone wishes to capture my interest, they needto put more than just one or two words, or it's going to be deleted, and I may have formed a completely wrong impression of the sender, in thinking that they may be somewhat intellectually challenged and, lets's face it, first impressions count, and you only get one chance to make it.

Thank you for your balanced response. I assume you’re someone who has confidence in the way he speaks/dictates letters and mails. I question how you feel when a well written, perfectly structured opening email is deleted. Does that not make you feel bad to know that someone didn’t appreciate your effort or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?

This is hilarious! So now ladies are thick if they don't reply?! Get a grip. They may just not fancy you, be innundated with messages or be too busy with real life."

River deep please read as I hadn’t claimed women to be anything. If I have please let me know so that I can amend. Cheers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm afraid that I can totally understand why people feel the need to put such comments on their profiles.

Writing a message should be thought of in the same way as one might have wriiten a letter around a century ago. Put what you want to say into it. Try and engage the reader.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the assumption that, because communication is electronic, and therefore delivery virtually instant, that they are somehow engaged in a live conversation - which, of course, is not the case.

If someone wishes to capture my interest, they need to put more than just one or two words, or it's going to be deleted, lets's face it, first impressions count, and you only get one chance to make it."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm afraid that I can totally understand why people feel the need to put such comments on their profiles.

Writing a message should be thought of in the same way as one might have wriiten a letter around a century ago. Put what you want to say into it. Try and engage the reader.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the assumption that, because communication is electronic, and therefore delivery virtually instant, that they are somehow engaged in a live conversation - which, of course, is not the case.

If someone wishes to capture my interest, they needto put more than just one or two words, or it's going to be deleted, and I may have formed a completely wrong impression of the sender, in thinking that they may be somewhat intellectually challenged and, lets's face it, first impressions count, and you only get one chance to make it.

Thank you for your balanced response. I assume you’re someone who has confidence in the way he speaks/dictates letters and mails. I question how you feel when a well written, perfectly structured opening email is deleted. Does that not make you feel bad to know that someone didn’t appreciate your effort or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?

This is hilarious! So now ladies are thick if they don't reply?! Get a grip. They may just not fancy you, be innundated with messages or be too busy with real life."

Ignorance is definitely bliss with some people, my thoughts were much the same lol

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"I'm afraid that I can totally understand why people feel the need to put such comments on their profiles.

Writing a message should be thought of in the same way as one might have wriiten a letter around a century ago. Put what you want to say into it. Try and engage the reader.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the assumption that, because communication is electronic, and therefore delivery virtually instant, that they are somehow engaged in a live conversation - which, of course, is not the case.

If someone wishes to capture my interest, they needto put more than just one or two words, or it's going to be deleted, and I may have formed a completely wrong impression of the sender, in thinking that they may be somewhat intellectually challenged and, lets's face it, first impressions count, and you only get one chance to make it.

Thank you for your balanced response. I assume you’re someone who has confidence in the way he speaks/dictates letters and mails. I question how you feel when a well written, perfectly structured opening email is deleted. Does that not make you feel bad to know that someone didn’t appreciate your effort or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?

This is hilarious! So now ladies are thick if they don't reply?! Get a grip. They may just not fancy you, be innundated with messages or be too busy with real life.

River deep please read as I hadn’t claimed women to be anything. If I have please let me know so that I can amend. Cheers"

"Or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?"

Care to explain how this is not calling someone thick?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"Hi" is the most unimaginative, generic message possible. If that's how somebody is going to start, how much effort are they going to put in after that?

This isn't us sitting in a pub and somebody is able to walk past us and say hi to try and start a conversation. This is a place where we have written a profile, given our names (at least pseudonyms) and put up photos. If you like that then respond to it.

"Hi" can be sent to 10,000 0eople and it tells us nothing. Often profiles are devoid of information too. If somebody can't be bothered with anything more to even attempt to pique our interest then we're not interested.

To use the pub analogy, it's like using a microphone to say "Hi" to everybody in the pub and being surprised that most people just carry on with whatever they are doing without paying any attention to it.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"We've just received a message that just said "Hey"

What is the point.

The only good thing is that you don't have to bother opening it before blocking and deleting."

Tbh I dont really mind that

Call me superficial but it’s looks I go for on here (physical sexual attraction) so better someone doesn’t spend ages typing a message for no reason in my eyes. If I like the pics that ‘hey’ could turn into a lot more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Hi" is the most unimaginative, generic message possible. If that's how somebody is going to start, how much effort are they going to put in after that?

This isn't us sitting in a pub and somebody is able to walk past us and say hi to try and start a conversation. This is a place where we have written a profile, given our names (at least pseudonyms) and put up photos. If you like that then respond to it.

"Hi" can be sent to 10,000 0eople and it tells us nothing. Often profiles are devoid of information too. If somebody can't be bothered with anything more to even attempt to pique our interest then we're not interested.

To use the pub analogy, it's like using a microphone to say "Hi" to everybody in the pub and being surprised that most people just carry on with whatever they are doing without paying any attention to it. "

I love that analogy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a profile says,don't me message me with a hi or a hello,and you find this unacceptable,then don't message them,it's not rocket science.

What's the problem?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a profile says,don't me message me with a hi or a hello,and you find this unacceptable,then don't message them,it's not rocket science.

What's the problem?"

Indeed.

I have real difficulty understanding why some people can't work this out, and instead want to complain as if it's these people with 'standards' that are ones with the problem.

Kinda like those that come on asking how to get in touch with people whose age limits prevent them from messaging.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Hi OP

If we get just a one word message, we will tend to view the profile (if there actually is one), read their bio and then have a quick nosey at their pics.

If they are of interest we will say a polite hi back, if not then it will either be a sorry not for us or if it’s a blank profile a straight, block / delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My experience is much like that of many single guys here. I've found that a carefully crafted profile that is informative, facial pics and a decent attitude can help elicit responses but nothing is guaranteed. I think the OP is commenting on how it feels to have a decent (as in more than one word, one line message unread/deleted) even if the sender has read the profile of the recipient carefully. Given that single ladies and couples receive a huge amount of crap messages it's perhaps very understandable that they feel the need to warn or put in place filter type comments as described by OP. All too often though for single guys it matters not how much effort he has put in.. 9 out of 10 hit the bin anyway. It woul be impossible to say no thanks to every message.. I've heard report of 300 per day maybe even more.. But now and then it's nice when I at least get that.. So I salute those that do read messages and then reply to one which is at least well crafted x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a profile says,don't me message me with a hi or a hello,and you find this unacceptable,then don't message them,it's not rocket science.

What's the problem?"

Very good point ^^

Personally I don't mind a "hello" type message as it is a very acceptable way to open a conversation, but I do check out their profile before replying, so if a "hello, how are you doing type" message is backed up with an interesting profile then I'll happily chat.

Never understood the need for a novel type approach to first messages that people require. If you walked up to me in a pub and said all that I'd think you were a raving luny hahahahahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm afraid that I can totally understand why people feel the need to put such comments on their profiles.

Writing a message should be thought of in the same way as one might have wriiten a letter around a century ago. Put what you want to say into it. Try and engage the reader.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the assumption that, because communication is electronic, and therefore delivery virtually instant, that they are somehow engaged in a live conversation - which, of course, is not the case.

If someone wishes to capture my interest, they needto put more than just one or two words, or it's going to be deleted, and I may have formed a completely wrong impression of the sender, in thinking that they may be somewhat intellectually challenged and, lets's face it, first impressions count, and you only get one chance to make it.

Thank you for your balanced response. I assume you’re someone who has confidence in the way he speaks/dictates letters and mails. I question how you feel when a well written, perfectly structured opening email is deleted. Does that not make you feel bad to know that someone didn’t appreciate your effort or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?

This is hilarious! So now ladies are thick if they don't reply?! Get a grip. They may just not fancy you, be innundated with messages or be too busy with real life.

River deep please read as I hadn’t claimed women to be anything. If I have please let me know so that I can amend. Cheers

"Or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?"

Care to explain how this is not calling someone thick?"

Not that I agree with the OP (we get dozens of messages like that and all ignored - the writer is hoping to join the most intimate part of our lives, the last they can do is demonstrate that they have taken the time to view our profile and shows how they believe we can all get on) but tbf to him the 'intellectual challenged' comment wasn't his, it was used in the reply he is quoting and he is asking if that sentiment applies elsewhere -not at all dating it is his opinion.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm not too good for anything. But a generic copy paste message which has likely been sent to every woman within fifty miles... Pass. It's spam, not a conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just read a profile that appears to be more common on this site. I don’t know if it’s a lot more common amongst one section of the site or others.

My main search is usually for single women but I have seen these with couples profiles also. I’d imagine there are single male profiles like these too.

They’re the ones that say. DO NOT contact me with a hello, a hi or good evening. Normally followed by I’m fine thanks or some other statement that rubbishes the art of conversation. I’m sticking my neck out by saying that every conversation has a start middle and end. If you are taking the time to write me a hello I’ll respond with a hi. It is not a friggin offence to greet a stranger with hello. Be that here, vanilla sites or the real world.

Rant over enjoy 2020"
thats true but the ones that highlight it get that message 30 times a day everyday and for the last 15 years

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I just read a profile that appears to be more common on this site. I don’t know if it’s a lot more common amongst one section of the site or others.

My main search is usually for single women but I have seen these with couples profiles also. I’d imagine there are single male profiles like these too.

They’re the ones that say. DO NOT contact me with a hello, a hi or good evening. Normally followed by I’m fine thanks or some other statement that rubbishes the art of conversation. I’m sticking my neck out by saying that every conversation has a start middle and end. If you are taking the time to write me a hello I’ll respond with a hi. It is not a friggin offence to greet a stranger with hello. Be that here, vanilla sites or the real world.

Rant over enjoy 2020"

That works as a good filter if you don't like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok il give you all a tip how to do it ffs

Hello is boring after you get so many so if you start with a joke or even something confusing for them you will more often than not get a response but its your ability to sell yourself during a conversation that will keep them interested be enthusiastic not needy see how it flows

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If someone has a well written profile we don't really care what the initial message consists of. To us, subsequent messages are the important ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just read a profile that appears to be more common on this site. I don’t know if it’s a lot more common amongst one section of the site or others.

My main search is usually for single women but I have seen these with couples profiles also. I’d imagine there are single male profiles like these too.

They’re the ones that say. DO NOT contact me with a hello, a hi or good evening. Normally followed by I’m fine thanks or some other statement that rubbishes the art of conversation. I’m sticking my neck out by saying that every conversation has a start middle and end. If you are taking the time to write me a hello I’ll respond with a hi. It is not a friggin offence to greet a stranger with hello. Be that here, vanilla sites or the real world.

Rant over enjoy 2020"

It does make things difficult, I am in agreement there are profiles like this which make you think how do you approach things?

I generally still ask as long as the rest of the message has some structure and something else to it than just that.

I guess the point is to not just say those two things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm afraid that I can totally understand why people feel the need to put such comments on their profiles.

Writing a message should be thought of in the same way as one might have wriiten a letter around a century ago. Put what you want to say into it. Try and engage the reader.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the assumption that, because communication is electronic, and therefore delivery virtually instant, that they are somehow engaged in a live conversation - which, of course, is not the case.

If someone wishes to capture my interest, they needto put more than just one or two words, or it's going to be deleted, and I may have formed a completely wrong impression of the sender, in thinking that they may be somewhat intellectually challenged and, lets's face it, first impressions count, and you only get one chance to make it.

Thank you for your balanced response. I assume you’re someone who has confidence in the way he speaks/dictates letters and mails. I question how you feel when a well written, perfectly structured opening email is deleted. Does that not make you feel bad to know that someone didn’t appreciate your effort or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?

This is hilarious! So now ladies are thick if they don't reply?! Get a grip. They may just not fancy you, be innundated with messages or be too busy with real life.

River deep please read as I hadn’t claimed women to be anything. If I have please let me know so that I can amend. Cheers

"Or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?"

Care to explain how this is not calling someone thick?

Not that I agree with the OP (we get dozens of messages like that and all ignored - the writer is hoping to join the most intimate part of our lives, the last they can do is demonstrate that they have taken the time to view our profile and shows how they believe we can all get on) but tbf to him the 'intellectual challenged' comment wasn't his, it was used in the reply he is quoting and he is asking if that sentiment applies elsewhere -not at all dating it is his opinion. "

It would appear that he did not fully understand my comments, because I wasn't for one moment, suggesting anyone was thick with my 'intellectually challenged' comment that he appears to have taken completely put of context when he copied it.

I was simply making an observation about first impressions, and how someone may get completely the wrong idea about someone based simply on the effort they have put into a first message.

If I get a simple 'hey' or 'hello', I don't form an opinion of the senders intellectual capability, but what such a message does tell me is that the lack of effort demonstrated in their message would indicate that they probably haven't read even bothered to read my profile and that, even if I were to respond, the conversation would likely grind to a halt fairly quickly.

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

When you're getting hammered with a hundred hey how are you's a day with a cock pic avatar the ones that actually put some level of effort into the messages really stand out, nobody is asking for a novel but something interesting to read and respond to doesn't take more than a couple of minutes to write out and it goes some way to show that conversation isn't going to just immediately fizzle.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport


"Im in agreement, nothing wrong with a hello how are you, i find the war and peace type first messages off putting but guess everyone is different "

Agreed. The long messages are usually copied and paste to all. I’ve had the same message sent several times by the same guys. At first I thought, oh great a guy that puts an effort in. Then they’ve not replied or ignored my thank you but you’re not for us and sent the same message! Lol

The hello ones gives them an ‘in’ and gives you a chance to read up on their profile and pics before deciding to send an hello reply!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I've virtually given up trying to write to local ladies.

There must be so many neanderthals that live in and around Hull that the ladies don't even reply to nice messages.

I see so many statuses complaining about nasty and bad messages it's off putting.

So I'll stick to the forums where I've made some very nice friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bait the hook not just naked fishing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah nothing wrong with just saying hello

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah nothing wrong with just saying hello "

There is if the profiler you wish to say hello to, specifically asks you not to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello is boring even i get bored of getting hellos girls are as bad as guys sometimes at crappy first messages

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think the point that the OP, and many single men on here, miss is that everyone is different and has different preferences to how they are approached, similarly not everyone will find an attraction to you enough to want to reply.

So ultimately why worry about those that won't meet you? Better to focus on those who you *do* align with surely?

If someone states in their profile that they don't like a "Hi, how are you?" type message - you have two choices - either don't message them, or send a message that is more than that - it really *is* that simple.

Similarly if you don't get a reply having sent a message, accept it and move on - again it really is that simple.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Men are in a competitive world here and it's always wise to listen to and take on board what your objects of desire advise you. They know themselves well.

If they say no to hi etc, it's because they want more. Hi. How's you? Bye. Won't cut. So write something that adds more and makes you distinctive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the point that the OP, and many single men on here, miss is that everyone is different and has different preferences to how they are approached, similarly not everyone will find an attraction to you enough to want to reply.

So ultimately why worry about those that won't meet you? Better to focus on those who you *do* align with surely?

If someone states in their profile that they don't like a "Hi, how are you?" type message - you have two choices - either don't message them, or send a message that is more than that - it really *is* that simple.

Similarly if you don't get a reply having sent a message, accept it and move on - again it really is that simple."
see aint he a great dude well done forum pops

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South


"I just read a profile that appears to be more common on this site. I don’t know if it’s a lot more common amongst one section of the site or others.

My main search is usually for single women but I have seen these with couples profiles also. I’d imagine there are single male profiles like these too.

They’re the ones that say. DO NOT contact me with a hello, a hi or good evening. Normally followed by I’m fine thanks or some other statement that rubbishes the art of conversation. I’m sticking my neck out by saying that every conversation has a start middle and end. If you are taking the time to write me a hello I’ll respond with a hi. It is not a friggin offence to greet a stranger with hello. Be that here, vanilla sites or the real world.

Rant over enjoy 2020"

If the message just says hello or hi it goes in the bin.

If it says hello or hi and there's actually a message that follows we'll read it. Assuming the sender has read our profile of course.

If they haven't (99% of the time) it goes in the bin or gets a sarcastic reply.

We look at the profile first and on rare occasions give a second chance.

But it's rare.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m one of those women that asks people not to send hi or how are you messages.

Honestly, fab is my escape world, my fun, so I don’t want to send hundreds of ‘hi I’m fine’ messages. Also I’m pretty sure you don’t want to know that I’ve got a headache, or am feeling fed up!

I try to answer all my messages but have got to the point where I simply don’t want to answer that type of approach. I’m probably missing out n some great people but there are only so many hours in a day.

Send me sentence or two about my profile or indeed about yours and I’m much more likely to enjoy replying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard getting a reply, so many guys and it seems quite a lot of them just send demanding messages for sex or get shirty or nasty. I understand that this is probably a big reason why women dont reply everytime, plus if I'm not what they are looking for then not replying is as good as a reply anyway. I'll keep sending to those I like and if it's meant to be then I'll get a reply

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By *ad steMan
over a year ago

Southport


"We've just received a message that just said "Hey"

What is the point.

The only good thing is that you don't have to bother opening it before blocking and deleting.

Tbh I dont really mind that

Call me superficial but it’s looks I go for on here (physical sexual attraction) so better someone doesn’t spend ages typing a message for no reason in my eyes. If I like the pics that ‘hey’ could turn into a lot more "

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere

Hi

I can't beleive nobody has done that yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a fair few "hi" or "you alright" messages each day - I tend to reply with an emoji and keep replying with a single emoji until such time as they either converse properly or disappear...

Hi

Hows you?

Enjoying the site?

Good Xmas?

What you into?

Why don't you talk?

And so forth!

If they can't string a sentence together then neither do I

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

As a guy, i find it mundane if a woman just messages me "hi" . It's so impersonal.

.

What frustrates me more though is when women are unable to hold a conversation and give very short responses. I'd rather no response if you're not interested.

.

On the flip side, can we expect women to reply to the 100+ "hi how are you" messages in their inbox?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The men have to make all the effort on here because women just get floods of dick coming at them from all angles. Most annoying thing about the site unfortunately too much competition.

That's why I CBA to message first. I always think effort should be at least 50/50, women making more effort if anything.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

Their profile their choice(s), your profile op your choice(s).

Why worry about those that don't fit with your way, find those that do

Ladies often send me a one word message, it's a two way street in my bit of fab if they give me no idea of their personality chances are I'll lose interest pretty quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we get a hi or hello I just reply hi or hello and if the first message has a bit more then I also give a bit more.

The bottom line here is that you are trying to woo my wife into bed and not to share a bag of chips and if you havnt read our profile she is not going to reply to you and

No face pic or decent message=no reply

No reply= no chatting

No chatting = no social

No social =no chance of fucking her in any of her three holes!!!!!!

Therefore effort maketh the man.

Best of luck

T

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get so many messages that the hello’s can get lost and deleted however a Hello and a smoking hot picture usually catches my attention! Fab for me is visual If I like your pics I’ll talk if not I won’t however if we meet at a club I like to get to know people and have met and played with people at clubs that I wouldn’t have played with from here x

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

[Removed by poster at 03/01/20 10:04:56]

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"If a profile says,don't me message me with a hi or a hello,and you find this unacceptable,then don't message them,it's not rocket science.

What's the problem?

Indeed.

I have real difficulty understanding why some people can't work this out, and instead want to complain as if it's these people with 'standards' that are ones with the problem.

Kinda like those that come on asking how to get in touch with people whose age limits prevent them from messaging.

"

I find it standard to say hello to people. I’m no bard and would most definitely struggle to construct wordy intros 100% of the time. I’m one of those whose standards must be questioned as I’m a sucker for a sexy body. However, I appreciate others preferences. Whilst you find it annoying that I would post a question like this it is so that I can get better understanding. I hope that hasn’t put your nose too far out of joint?

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"I think the point that the OP, and many single men on here, miss is that everyone is different and has different preferences to how they are approached, similarly not everyone will find an attraction to you enough to want to reply.

So ultimately why worry about those that won't meet you? Better to focus on those who you *do* align with surely?

If someone states in their profile that they don't like a "Hi, how are you?" type message - you have two choices - either don't message them, or send a message that is more than that - it really *is* that simple.

Similarly if you don't get a reply having sent a message, accept it and move on - again it really is that simple."

Agree with most points. I wonder if it a single guy issue. As I said originally I only notice things on the profiles that I search for. I’m sure there are single men profiles that bear the same, I just couldn’t account for those

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"

What frustrates me more though is when women are unable to hold a conversation and give very short responses. I'd rather no response if you're not interested.

"

That's a two way street though and is just two people finding they're not aligned or compatible, it's no different from normal life - some people you come across you'll exchange a few words with and that'll be it, others you'll "click" with and the conversation will flow and you'll be friends for life - on here is no different

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"I get a fair few "hi" or "you alright" messages each day - I tend to reply with an emoji and keep replying with a single emoji until such time as they either converse properly or disappear...

Hi

Hows you?

Enjoying the site?

Good Xmas?

What you into?

Why don't you talk?

And so forth!

If they can't string a sentence together then neither do I "

Agreed. I would hope that if you had have responded the sender would open up the conversation by assuming that your response would be a signal of interest to finding out more about the person. Unless the opening conversation was acknowledged with a definite no towards their approach.

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"Hi OP

If we get just a one word message, we will tend to view the profile (if there actually is one), read their bio and then have a quick nosey at their pics.

If they are of interest we will say a polite hi back, if not then it will either be a sorry not for us or if it’s a blank profile a straight, block / delete."

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I think the point that the OP, and many single men on here, miss is that everyone is different and has different preferences to how they are approached, similarly not everyone will find an attraction to you enough to want to reply.

So ultimately why worry about those that won't meet you? Better to focus on those who you *do* align with surely?

If someone states in their profile that they don't like a "Hi, how are you?" type message - you have two choices - either don't message them, or send a message that is more than that - it really *is* that simple.

Similarly if you don't get a reply having sent a message, accept it and move on - again it really is that simple.

Agree with most points. I wonder if it a single guy issue. As I said originally I only notice things on the profiles that I search for. I’m sure there are single men profiles that bear the same, I just couldn’t account for those"

I think it's a single guy issue to have an issue with it - because of the number imbalance here and because a lot of single guys have the wrong expectations of the site, it's mostly single men who struggle to find the right balance and approach.

I'd imagine very few single men would put "don't send a hi" type thing in their profile because most are so desperate to get attention any attention that a simple "hi" would be welcomed.

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"I'm afraid that I can totally understand why people feel the need to put such comments on their profiles.

Writing a message should be thought of in the same way as one might have wriiten a letter around a century ago. Put what you want to say into it. Try and engage the reader.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the assumption that, because communication is electronic, and therefore delivery virtually instant, that they are somehow engaged in a live conversation - which, of course, is not the case.

If someone wishes to capture my interest, they needto put more than just one or two words, or it's going to be deleted, and I may have formed a completely wrong impression of the sender, in thinking that they may be somewhat intellectually challenged and, lets's face it, first impressions count, and you only get one chance to make it.

Thank you for your balanced response. I assume you’re someone who has confidence in the way he speaks/dictates letters and mails. I question how you feel when a well written, perfectly structured opening email is deleted. Does that not make you feel bad to know that someone didn’t appreciate your effort or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?

This is hilarious! So now ladies are thick if they don't reply?! Get a grip. They may just not fancy you, be innundated with messages or be too busy with real life.

River deep please read as I hadn’t claimed women to be anything. If I have please let me know so that I can amend. Cheers

"Or do you question whether the recipient is somewhat intellectually challenged?"

Care to explain how this is not calling someone thick?

Not that I agree with the OP (we get dozens of messages like that and all ignored - the writer is hoping to join the most intimate part of our lives, the last they can do is demonstrate that they have taken the time to view our profile and shows how they believe we can all get on) but tbf to him the 'intellectual challenged' comment wasn't his, it was used in the reply he is quoting and he is asking if that sentiment applies elsewhere -not at all dating it is his opinion.

It would appear that he did not fully understand my comments, because I wasn't for one moment, suggesting anyone was thick with my 'intellectually challenged' comment that he appears to have taken completely put of context when he copied it.

I was simply making an observation about first impressions, and how someone may get completely the wrong idea about someone based simply on the effort they have put into a first message.

If I get a simple 'hey' or 'hello', I don't form an opinion of the senders intellectual capability, but what such a message does tell me is that the lack of effort demonstrated in their message would indicate that they probably haven't read even bothered to read my profile and that, even if I were to respond, the conversation would likely grind to a halt fairly quickly."

Thank you for clarifying that the comment was not made by me. Like some took offence to that quote.

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"I think the point that the OP, and many single men on here, miss is that everyone is different and has different preferences to how they are approached, similarly not everyone will find an attraction to you enough to want to reply.

So ultimately why worry about those that won't meet you? Better to focus on those who you *do* align with surely?

If someone states in their profile that they don't like a "Hi, how are you?" type message - you have two choices - either don't message them, or send a message that is more than that - it really *is* that simple.

Similarly if you don't get a reply having sent a message, accept it and move on - again it really is that simple.

Agree with most points. I wonder if it a single guy issue. As I said originally I only notice things on the profiles that I search for. I’m sure there are single men profiles that bear the same, I just couldn’t account for those

I think it's a single guy issue to have an issue with it - because of the number imbalance here and because a lot of single guys have the wrong expectations of the site, it's mostly single men who struggle to find the right balance and approach.

I'd imagine very few single men would put "don't send a hi" type thing in their profile because most are so desperate to get attention any attention that a simple "hi" would be welcomed."

Again I agree and thank you for your comment. I don’t know if some men on here write this on their profile. I wouldn’t as it restricts the opportunity to get to know some of the great people I have from Fab.

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