FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Redundancy

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was made redundant 6 years ago. I did 29 years and was quite glad to go. But I haven't yet got another regular job.

However I often dream I'm back there refusing to have left and working for no payment. The process plant looks more menacing and I struggle to keep up.

Is this some sort of inner trauma?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Redundancy is crap at some level even if you are happy to go. Between us we have racked up at least 8 redundancies.

I don't know if your dream signifies inner trauma but I hope that you get regular work if that's what you want.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ottielayWoman
over a year ago

by the bay

I would say it just means you miss having a regular job and income even though you didn’t particularly love that job

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks ladies x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *estofbothCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

It was a huge part of your life, being there for 29 years the job would have formed a big part of your identity. Redundancy is a horrible thing, can be justified a lot of ways with the financial payout or being glad to be out of the job finally. But it’s as traumatic as a divorce. The same feelings of loss, rejection and a huge shift in self image and lifestyle.

The job market can be tough, and it won’t have helped that you haven’t found anything to commit to after 6 years, on some level it’s most likely a reluctance to move on, or an unwillingness to put the effort into rebuilding a career somewhere else (I’ve done that once so what’s the point).

Dreams kind of point to a little bit of ptsd I would say, the lack of pay pointing to worth and the inability to keep up doubting your abilities. All of which are absolutely not true.

Please make 2020 your year. It’s easy to say but what you did for that time does not define you as a person, it changed you, grew you. But now you have moved on.

Look for a position you can be comfortable in, something you want to do. Financially you must be ok if you haven’t really worked for 6 years, so maybe some volunteer roles might help.

Away from the job side find yourself a hobby, make that your grounding point. Be it learning an instrument, racing go karts or joining a bukake group on here. You’ll meet people and find something that can then be you. The job worries and redundancy will soon not be on your mind.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be comfortable knowing that you did a great job there and learnt a lot - personal skills you can take into another role.

You need to look forward to what you can do, not back at what you did. You will still be highly valued by someone.

Topic is probably more for LinkedIn than Fab.

If you’re having negative thoughts, you might benefit from chatting to The Samaritans - Call 116 123 for free and that might help clear your head.

Happy New Year.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Not at all Darryl. It means that you were wise to go.

Well done x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dreams are funny things and you'll get as many interpretations as people you ask to be honest! But its definitely nothing to do with ptsd as mentioned above because there was nothing to do with death by redundancy so all is cool!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *estofbothCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Dreams are funny things and you'll get as many interpretations as people you ask to be honest! But its definitely nothing to do with ptsd as mentioned above because there was nothing to do with death by redundancy so all is cool! "

Correct on the dream interpretation, there’s likely cues that can be taken from them, mostly from the subjects interpretation of them, but it is very much down to professional opinion.

However please be very cautious on your disregard for ptsd, it’s probably not the case with op, but it can stem from a lot of major life events, completely unrelated to death and even physical trauma in some cases. A lot of studies have been carried out on what defines it and triggers it and even how it should realistically be labelled in each case, however all agree the mental state following a big life change or event does leave people very susceptible to depression and suicide. Disregarding it could leave somebody in a vulnerable state feeling unheard and unwilling to seek help.

Not arguing, just feel mental health is something that we all should support and discuss.

Sorry if this went off track OP

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No problem. I liked your reply.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"No problem. I liked your reply."

Is it a problem for you? I ask because we've been affected negatively by redundancy and the fall out from it and understand the impact it can have.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No problem. I liked your reply.

Is it a problem for you? I ask because we've been affected negatively by redundancy and the fall out from it and understand the impact it can have. "

Replied privately

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"I was made redundant 6 years ago. I did 29 years and was quite glad to go. But I haven't yet got another regular job.

However I often dream I'm back there refusing to have left and working for no payment. The process plant looks more menacing and I struggle to keep up.

Is this some sort of inner trauma?"
. Whilst you were glad to leave after 29 years service it’s understandable you have dreams about your workplace as you have stated you haven’t found a regular job in the 6 years since you left so I am guessing you maybe missing the work banter as well as the regular salary.I was offered voluntary redundancy in 2014 , 2015 , and 2016 if I had left in 2016 my package would have been about £28000 for 15 years service at 48 years of age at the time I did not feel I would find a suitable job so I played safe and stayed on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Good idea. Mine was compulsory. I applied for three jobs to stay but was unsuccessful.

Our system stayed active and ended up supported by others.

However the small print in our letter covered this. No chance of complaining without forfeiting our money.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Redundancy is seldom welcome unless it is right at the end your career and financial advantages outweigh the drawbacks.

It happened to me three times in my employed career and was certainly never welcome. After the third in 1990 I decided to embark on self-employment which for me worked out well and I have no regrets about the decision. Realise it is not for everyone.

While working for myself I suffered a few setbacks; mainly loosing either clients or principals (I was an agent among other things). I never found these setbacks anywhere near as confidence sapping as redundancy. If you lost a client, you had others and you could go out and find others. I always tried to run a "spread" business where I was never overly dependent on one client/principal. That way I knew I had some income. It went up and down but I could handle that. Being redundant from a full time job meant you lost all your income in one shot.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Redundancy is seldom welcome unless it is right at the end your career and financial advantages outweigh the drawbacks.

It happened to me three times in my employed career and was certainly never welcome. After the third in 1990 I decided to embark on self-employment which for me worked out well and I have no regrets about the decision. Realise it is not for everyone.

While working for myself I suffered a few setbacks; mainly loosing either clients or principals (I was an agent among other things). I never found these setbacks anywhere near as confidence sapping as redundancy. If you lost a client, you had others and you could go out and find others. I always tried to run a "spread" business where I was never overly dependent on one client/principal. That way I knew I had some income. It went up and down but I could handle that. Being redundant from a full time job meant you lost all your income in one shot. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I once worked for an organisation and was having sex with a manager. A year after we split up, guess who was top of her redundancy list?

It was for the best though in the long run.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bollocks to all the sympathy pull yourself together and go and get a job there’s no excuse

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Bollocks to all the sympathy pull yourself together and go and get a job there’s no excuse "

Your day will come.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once worked for an organisation and was having sex with a manager. A year after we split up, guess who was top of her redundancy list?

It was for the best though in the long run. "

Dave in accounts?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"Bollocks to all the sympathy pull yourself together and go and get a job there’s no excuse "

I was going to say, almost certainly written by someone who has not experienced it. Can feel your msg is so full of "heart"...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bollocks to all the sympathy pull yourself together and go and get a job there’s no excuse

I was going to say, almost certainly written by someone who has not experienced it. Can feel your msg is so full of "heart"..."

It's certainly full of something

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Redundancy is sadly one of those things a lot more people will suffer.

No jobs for life anymore and no union protections. A lot of companies are poorly run and you'll see the same management getting senior roles at another similar firm after destroying the last one through their inept attitude and ability to be effective.

The world is changing, even a checkout operator in a supermarket is at risk from technology and with the high street disappearing before our eyes it can look bleak for those without skills.

Many companies are taken over by hedge funds etc who are only really interested in the properties so keep the business running for a year or two then give up. Good hard working individuals will always be the victim and I have to say from what I've seen and experienced in many work places you are a idiot for caring too much.

Others take advantage, overload you while they stroll about.

Be professional yes. But also learn to not be afraid to say no to management in a toxic working environment,no man's a slave.

Stand back, Let the management run around and wait.

If its toxic work place get out.

Working, redundancy can be damaging to your health.

Retrain, be selective of past work colleagues you retain as a contact.

Start again.your not worthless

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/01/20 17:19:55]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

[Removed by poster at 01/01/20 17:29:43]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


"Bollocks to all the sympathy pull yourself together and go and get a job there’s no excuse "

I shouldn't have read past the first word of your reply, as that is what I consider it was.

In response to the OP I've also had dreams of my previous job. In all honesty its taken me 3 years to get the other side of that and into a job that I like and something that fits in with other things.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

A lot of sense in what you say, Patrick.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"Bollocks to all the sympathy pull yourself together and go and get a job there’s no excuse "
. It can be hard when it’s compulsory redundancy and you have worked more than 15 years for the same company in the OP case 29 years which is more than half his life.By the way me and you are both in our early 50’s like the OP is and compulsory redundancy could happen to any off us as there is no job for life these days.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"I once worked for an organisation and was having sex with a manager. A year after we split up, guess who was top of her redundancy list?

It was for the best though in the long run.

Dave in accounts?"
‘her’....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the words of support.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top