"“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
I’ve been here too long; cease to be surprised when I see the same things recurring on the forum (different names, same stories) and either I have become fussier or I have finally learned that I am worth a bit more than splash and dash offered to me.
There are few things I want to get off my chest before I leave you all:
1. Reverse snobbery – I had never experienced this until joining Fab. It’s a peculiar thing, especially when coupled with accusations of ‘envy’ – sometimes in the same post!
2. Polarised politics – Fab opened my eyes to politics discussed in a way that is alien to me. I used to enjoy political debates but as the discourse has become more polarised, here and out there, it has become much harder to switch off from it on Fab. I appreciate the creation of a separate forum, it has helped avoid the worst of it but still people manage to bring party politics to the lounge. For those who naively decry identity politics I suggest you have a long hard look at the world. All politics is identity politics.
3. Racism – I’ve given up trying to explain what racism is and I won’t bother here now – I’ve covered it enough on Fab. Everyone is a little bit racist (some considerably more than others). If you’re claiming you aren’t racist in any way, shape or form please just look at your own casual thoughts, decisions and the language you use. If that fails to help you see what I mean then take the Harvard bias test (Project Implicit). It is skewed to the USA but the results will hold up for the UK too. I am dog tired of reading white people tell me just what they think of me and calling me racist for calling out their racism. I am the worst thing in the Fab and online world: an old uppity woman of colour. I’m also tired of the fetishising of colour.
4. Misogyny – Roll up, roll up! Here every day. It has shocked me how much I have seen from other women.
5. And the other isms and phobias – Well, where there is one the others seem to want to keep it company. I could write a treatise on all that I have seen on Fab but I know there are others better placed to cover the other subjects.
6. Words and grammar – I love words. Using long words isn’t a crime and I know I have learned new words simply because someone used a word I hadn’t come across before. Equally, correcting grammar can be done in a helpful way or in a mean way. Years ago, I explained to a forumite why ‘should/would/coud of’ was incorrect. No one had ever told them. In 20 years or so ‘of’ instead of ‘have’ will be considered correct, I am sure, but we’re not quite there yet.
Onto sex, or lack thereof; I get very few messages that aren’t variations of FAF, most not as polite as that. I don’t have much luck when I send the first message. The reason for being here is to try and have enough sex to help satisfy my libido. The creativity with ages and photos has meant that I have had meets where I have been slack-jawed at what was in front of me. Or, my more common experience of being second, third or lower on a potential meet list and I only find out when I check in that the meet is still going ahead. I’m a great (maybe adequate) one-off, scratch-the-itch fuck but not more than that.
“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.”
I have stayed so long because of the kindness I see, and experience, from time to time. I have stayed for the socials and friendships. I have stayed for the discussions, the joint telly and national events. I have stayed because I am bonkers and Fab has shown me that I am not as bonkers as I might sometimes think. I have stayed because I think I can do it another way and I will suddenly appear more alluring, more interesting and will finally get that MMF I have been trying to arrange for nearly 5 years.
I want to thank Rugby for remembering the anniversary of my son’s death – that level of kindness touched me at a time I needed it.
Mr Man has been longest standing friend here. I love him so please turn the light out when he asks you to so that he can sleep.
Thank you for your kindness to me and if you have been one of those who have taken pleasure in poking me with a shitty stick I hope you never forget which end has the shit on it.
I promised I would keep my profile open all year. I will keep that promise and may even reply to the good, the bad and the ugly responses to this before I hide. I will slip away when you’re not looking. Or change my mind and be back in a year.
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”
"
It's December, I'm hiding as per.
I've only logged on for one reason; your flounce.
Long awaited, deeply worded and said with conviction.
You know my thoughts, you know my feelings, (I've told you enough times) you have my very best wishes for all that life outside of Fab brings you.
My friend.
Thank you again.
I'll miss you.
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Always enjoyed reading your posts, so hope you come out of lurkination at some point- if not, have a ‘so long- and thanks for all the fish’ as a leaving gift
Where's my fucking pity fuck, eh?
I flaunted my bits and got 3 Fabs. I'm clearly rubbish at this.
