FabSwingers.com forum: Time to change

By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

So for the past few months I (Mr) have kinda been taking stock of my life looking back on things and thinking about the future.

Has anyone else ever tried looking at themselves objectively and not liked what they see?

Let me put it another way.

I have no friends apart from one couple who we see every few months,

Apart from that everyone who I considered my friends over the years gone.

I have always tried to be a friendly, reliable, honest guy.

I have zero work friends.

I've had a complicated life that for the most part hasn't been my fault.

I'm a hard worker but for some reason my employer has decided that I am going to be a pet project and have been subjected to bullying and victimisation at work for about a year now but it's just coming to a head.

I do suffer from depression but have always put my paranoia to this.

Right so I have now realised that my paranoia is not delusional it seems that pretty much everyone who knows me hates me for one reason or another.

My only saving grace is my beautiful wife whome has stood by me for over 30 year's and love's me unconditionally without her love and support I'm not sure where I would be, and for this I am eternally grateful xx

But xmas day brought a new revelation that our kid's don't like me.

I'm lonely and whilst having a loving wife is amazing, we all need friends I will admit I'm not the easiest person to get along with.

To summarise, I've looked back through my life and taken a long hard look at myself.

I need to change who I am,how I act and pretty much everything that people seem to dislike about me. Coz the way things are going I'm just going to end up a sad lonely old man with no friends or family.

My single biggest fear is my wife will suddenly start seeing me the same way others do and go.

I'm not claiming to be a victim or looking for sympathy.

I just want to be a better more likable person who people actually want to be around.

Any tips?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bookmarking - can't offer any advice, I'm in a similar situation vis a vis friends and colleagues.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

It sounds like you should see a professional counsellor.

What makes you say even your kids don't like you?

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By *inky kissersCouple
over a year ago

South East

Profound stuff. I, the male, can relate to the paranoia and likeability stuff. Depression does play a big part. Been posing myself lots of the same questions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey. I don’t know if this is your depression kicking in, or just the post Christmas doldrums. Anyway, how are you going to find new friends? That’s the first thing to decide. New hobby? Gym?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

What is it that you think people dislike about you? It's hard to say how you can improve without knowing that. And your own children?! It does sound like you should maybe seek help from a doctor if this is affecting you mentally.

As for bullying at work, can you go over your bosses head? Do you have an hr department? There should be a bullying and harassment policy.

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"It sounds like you should see a professional counsellor.

What makes you say even your kids don't like you? "

Our grandson let it slip out and told me what they say about me behind my back.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Lots of people blame the world around them for their woes.

It takes courage to look inward and acknowledge you might be partly at fault.

Change can be hard but it is definitely possible if you really want it and you work at it.

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes i do it all the time and so far the answers the same im the perfect blend of cunt with the same lipstick pigs use

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By *edVelveteenCouple
over a year ago

Heaven in the Midlands

I can relate. Found myself in a longterm situation a number of years ago, that would have killed me, had I stayed. A lot of soul searching and some not nice self-realisations, I re-trained to give me the ability to work anywhere in the world, and I moved on. Changed countries, twice. Am now living, working, and loving where I want to be. But yeah, speak to someone professionally.

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Lots of people blame the world around them for their woes.

It takes courage to look inward and acknowledge you might be partly at fault.

Change can be hard but it is definitely possible if you really want it and you work at it.

Good luck OP

I class myself as a realist, I totally get that no matter how likable I am or not there's always going to be someone who doesn't like me.

I have been seriously considering faith and religion for guidance despite living my whole life as a complete non beliver,I'm starting to feel that maybe having faith might actually make me feel not so alone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey. I don’t know if this is your depression kicking in, or just the post Christmas doldrums. Anyway, how are you going to find new friends? That’s the first thing to decide. New hobby? Gym? "

I can't speak for the OP, but that's been the hard thing for me. I've tried hobbies, classes and the gym, but never connected with anyone (much like here). I tried joining a social group on Meetup as well, which I thought was working until the realisation hit me that they only tolerated my presence. I hadn't made a single actual friend, I'd just been fooling myself.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Hmmmm......I would make a list of things you want or want to achieve and do an old fashioned SWOT analysis and see where you want to be short, medium and long term. I must admit, you have a swinging relationship and that’s something I can never have. Be grateful for what you have, if you can see things that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sad to read this

What can you change? Be honest?

You said about your kids?

You also mention depression. Do your kids understand what you are going through?

I had similar with my Ex, had my kids telling me for years to leave him, think about myself etc;

I had to have 'that' conversation with my Ex, who suffers anxiety and depression, that kickstarted an honest discussion... He was always a fantastic Dad, was not having their relationship damaged

Now they understand, they accept it and support their Dad however they can.

I know how it works, depression alters perception of how you believe others view you.

As for bullying at work, ACAS are great, join a Union. Get advice

I really hope things improve for you soon, maybe it is s good thing you are taking stock as realisation can lead to healing. It is a long slow process, and I wish you well with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get pro help as it sounds like you need it.

The fab forums are great but not really the place to sort your life out.

Best of luck.

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

" Hmmmm......I would make a list of things you want or want to achieve and do an old fashioned SWOT analysis and see where you want to be short, medium and long term. I must admit, you have a swinging relationship and that’s something I can never have. Be grateful for what you have, if you can see things that way. "

Oh I am so grateful for what I do have, honestly I am I also realise that fragility of this and how easily things can change.

My single biggest problem is:

I'm an over thinker.

I ponder and fret about everything to the point of obsession, this I have to stop before I self destruct.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I'd suggest speaking to your Dr, they will know of professionals that can help.

I was told beliefs can be quickly altered, our values (who we are) not easily changed.

Leopards don't change spots..

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Oh I am so grateful for what I do have, honestly I am I also realise that fragility of this and how easily things can change.

My single biggest problem is:

I'm an over thinker.

I ponder and fret about everything to the point of obsession, this I have to stop before I self destruct."
I always find a wank clears my head but messes the tiles (shower)

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By *iggyStarjumpsMan
over a year ago

Stockport

"Hey. I don’t know if this is your depression kicking in, or just the post Christmas doldrums. Anyway, how are you going to find new friends? That’s the first thing to decide. New hobby? Gym?

Making new friends, especially as an older man, is really difficult. I'm in the same position. Any ideas why you don't connect; what made you think the Meetup group didn't like you?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"It sounds like you should see a professional counsellor.

What makes you say even your kids don't like you?

Our grandson let it slip out and told me what they say about me behind my back.

Nearly everybody says things about their parents behind their back. If my mother knew what one of my brothers thought of her she'd be shocked.

I can't help you because I don't know how, p!ease talk to people who can.

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Cheers for all your input everyone.

The stigma of men talking about their feelings is a subject that seems to rarely get discussed.

Swinging forum or not talking about things openly can only be a good thing right??

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I think, and this is probably going to sound stupid, that we (society) are losing the ability to be warm and welcoming to others because too many of us live our lives through social media rather than interacting with people. We’ve lost the ability to pick up on people who may be shy, socially awkward (whatever) and trying to welcome them. Instead it’s all just superficial niceties. You’re kept at arms length without ever getting to know someone properly, so real connections are lost.

Obviously it’s a two way street but folk aren’t daft, we can pick up when someone is being genuinely friendly and if we don’t feel that warmth we back off ourselves, so we get nowhere. So we are kind of circling each other without really connecting?

I’m not sure what my point is, or what the answer is, but I don’t think it’s all down to you OP.

Some folk ARE just unwelcoming or unfriendly. And often it’s those that are in positions where they should be welcoming and friendly.

Also, I’m not sure how old your grandson is, but maybe take what he says with a little pinch of salt. Maybe your children just don’t understand you. I used to moan about my step-dad, but I loved and appreciated him really. I just didn’t understand his personality and his quirks, or rather I didn’t make allowances for them in my younger days.

As others have said, maybe a good honest Counsellor can shed some light on things.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Hey. I don’t know if this is your depression kicking in, or just the post Christmas doldrums. Anyway, how are you going to find new friends? That’s the first thing to decide. New hobby? Gym?

People do only tolerate each other for much of the time. Making new friends, real friends that is, is a long term thing with lots of only tolerating in between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always find a wank clears my head but messes the tiles (shower)

I like that you confirmed it was those form of tiles rather than you wanking off on the roof of a house, spunking on terracotta or slate.

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By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh

1st off I’d recommend some kind of professional help. It’s not got the same stigma attached to it that it once did. Obviously I don’t know you from Adam, as it were OP, but I do know this is a shitty time of year for a whole host of reasons.

Your Boss sounds like an arsehole and there’s no law that requires you to have work friends. I’ve had jobs where despite spending 8hours plus a day with people, I had fuck all in common with them and hated my time there. Don’t know how viable it is, but a new job could well be the start of your luck changing.

Sounds like you’ve a wonderful wife and hopefully she can see you through this bad time. Will keep an eye out on this thread for you OP

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It reminds me of when I was totally ignored at a Sussex social for a not inconsiderable time. The bi married pariah-jonah

Happily I amuse even myself.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I always find a wank clears my head but messes the tiles (shower)

I like that you confirmed it was those form of tiles rather than you wanking off on the roof of a house, spunking on terracotta or slate."
it’s a totally necessary detail

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I always find a wank clears my head but messes the tiles (shower)

I like that you confirmed it was those form of tiles rather than you wanking off on the roof of a house, spunking on terracotta or slate. it’s a totally necessary detail "
like this confirmation message

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think at this time of year it's easy to look around and imagine that everyone else spends the entire Christmas period with close family all getting along with each other or with myriad close friends in loving and supportive groups. Life isn't like that for a lot of people.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"It reminds me of when I was totally ignored at a Sussex social for a not inconsiderable time. The bi married pariah-jonah

Happily I amuse even myself. "
,

We reigned to speak to you once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe get your testosterone levels checked. Low t can cause anxiety, depression and a host of other issues

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"It reminds me of when I was totally ignored at a Sussex social for a not inconsiderable time. The bi married pariah-jonah

Happily I amuse even myself. ,

We reigned to speak to you once

Deigned

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By *Man1263Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Hey. I don’t know if this is your depression kicking in, or just the post Christmas doldrums. Anyway, how are you going to find new friends? That’s the first thing to decide. New hobby? Gym?

Making new friends, especially as an older man, is really difficult. I'm in the same position. Any ideas why you don't connect; what made you think the Meetup group didn't like you?"

I was going to send you a message but since you have all males blocked, won't bother trying too!

Now if only males could message you, you might find someone sending a message in an non-sexual way, that might turn into a mate, but since you block them, you won't!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"It reminds me of when I was totally ignored at a Sussex social for a not inconsiderable time. The bi married pariah-jonah

Happily I amuse even myself. ,

We reigned to speak to you once

Deigned"
indeed. I kept up miraculously genuine eye contact

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"It reminds me of when I was totally ignored at a Sussex social for a not inconsiderable time. The bi married pariah-jonah

Happily I amuse even myself. ,

We reigned to speak to you once

Deigned indeed. I kept up miraculously genuine eye contact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes heaps of courage to say what you did OP .

I found myself in a similar situation back in 2012 .I met an amazing councillor , he listened didnt judge and encouraged me to try Mindfullnes. I've never looked back

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"It takes heaps of courage to say what you did OP .

I found myself in a similar situation back in 2012 .I met an amazing councillor , he listened didnt judge and encouraged me to try Mindfullnes. I've never looked back

X "
you live on a bloody mountain in the middle of no where!

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Hi OP it’s good that initially you have found a release for these feelings (through the forums) and that you have identified some clear perceptions you have. Like others I would suggest taking the next big step and seeing a professional therapist/councillor to see how you can process that information you are living with.

One theme you have mentioned is that you “think” too much and I would posit that you “negatively think” too much. We tend to do this when we have little or no other activities to distract us, if we are in a bad place we think bad thoughts, good place, good thoughts. Finding an array of activities to occupy your mind and body also can be a good thing, from yoga to learning a musical instrument or another language, daft things but things that require concentration.

If you’ve been letting those diy tasks build up. Now is the perfect time to start ticking them off, buy a diary and write down targets, for example; spring - decorate bathroom, summer get garden up together. The beauty of this type of task list is you can involve other people, ask their opinion, maybe get an offer of help, you work together to get something done that you can all feel proud of.

There is no simple cure, just a composite of activities that will start to exercise your mind and body and exorcise the demons within. Take it steady and I wish you well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It takes heaps of courage to say what you did OP .

I found myself in a similar situation back in 2012 .I met an amazing councillor , he listened didnt judge and encouraged me to try Mindfullnes. I've never looked back

X you live on a bloody mountain in the middle of no where! "
this is so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey. I don’t know if this is your depression kicking in, or just the post Christmas doldrums. Anyway, how are you going to find new friends? That’s the first thing to decide. New hobby? Gym?

Making new friends, especially as an older man, is really difficult. I'm in the same position. Any ideas why you don't connect; what made you think the Meetup group didn't like you?"

We did a Christmas dinner at a local restaurant a couple of years ago. I spent the whole night being talked around, over and through, I might as well not have been there. I stopped going to things, then a few months later left the group entirely. Three fact that I didn't hear a word from any of them made it pretty clear I wasn't missed.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Hey. I don’t know if this is your depression kicking in, or just the post Christmas doldrums. Anyway, how are you going to find new friends? That’s the first thing to decide. New hobby? Gym?

Making new friends, especially as an older man, is really difficult. I'm in the same position. Any ideas why you don't connect; what made you think the Meetup group didn't like you?

I'm not trying to argue with you but did you engage anyone in conversation or contact any of them?

I ask because I know a woman who I have tried quite hard to be a friend to, she never, ever makes contact so I've stopped contacting her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any tips?"

Search for, and watch, a video called “ I have NO friends and I'm NOT THE ONLY ONE”. It’s inspirational.

Then search for Man Club, and see if there is one in your area.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids don't like anyone. It's part of being a kid. Don't look at other people's lives - you never really know what's going on for them. Some people are good at putting on a brave face. Just concentrate on you. See your GP and get treatment for your depression - you would take insulin if you were diabetic. It's no different. See your Union rep or HR dept. Tell them everything. They are there to support you. And talk to people. Tell them how you feel. Ask them about themselves. You are not alone in this - even though you may well feel you are xx

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Thanks everyone peace and love to you all xxx

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Ah mate that was tough reading.

Have you identified a route cause as to why you think people don’t like you?

And then examine whether it’s not actually just you but also down to circumstance?

Then work on making it better. Find something that interests you and you are passionate about? Once you have a common interest with the people around you making friends should perhaps be easier. I’m no expert I hasten to add but it’s all I can think of.

I hope in 2020 you flip the script and start to enjoy life.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Honestly it probably isn't as bad as it is in your head. As someone who has had a lot of issues with one of their parents, I don't hate her at all. There are still many times I have a good time with her and like her, there are just others when she has unintentionally been very hurtful. I would never want her to think I hate her but if she was in a similar position to you then I would be very grateful if she did do some self reflection and want to work on improving those areas of our relationship. What I would want is for her to talk to me and actually listen as for years whenever I have tried I have been dismissed and patronized and it has caused me to distance myself a little. I do still love her though.

As for making more friends and being more likable, one of the best tips I was ever given was that people love to talk about themselves and if you ask them lots of questions about themselves and give them a chance to do so, they usually come away with good feelings about the conversation and therefore want to be around you more. It's something used in sales but works for a lot of social situations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey. I don’t know if this is your depression kicking in, or just the post Christmas doldrums. Anyway, how are you going to find new friends? That’s the first thing to decide. New hobby? Gym?

Making new friends, especially as an older man, is really difficult. I'm in the same position. Any ideas why you don't connect; what made you think the Meetup group didn't like you?

I'm not trying to argue with you but did you engage anyone in conversation or contact any of them?

I ask because I know a woman who I have tried quite hard to be a friend to, she never, ever makes contact so I've stopped contacting her. "

I'd been in the group for three years and I thought of several of them as friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So for the past few months I (Mr) have kinda been taking stock of my life looking back on things and thinking about the future.

Has anyone else ever tried looking at themselves objectively and not liked what they see?

Let me put it another way.

I have no friends apart from one couple who we see every few months,

Apart from that everyone who I considered my friends over the years gone.

I have always tried to be a friendly, reliable, honest guy.

I have zero work friends.

I've had a complicated life that for the most part hasn't been my fault.

I do suffer from depression but have always put my paranoia to this.

Right so I have now realised that my paranoia is not delusional it seems that pretty much everyone who knows me hates me for one reason or another.

But xmas day brought a new revelation that our kid's don't like me.

I'm lonely and whilst having a loving wife is amazing, we all need friends I will admit I'm not the easiest person to get along with.

To summarise, I've looked back through my life and taken a long hard look at myself.

My single biggest fear is my wife will suddenly start seeing me the same way others do and go.

I'm not claiming to be a victim or looking for sympathy.

I just want to be a better more likable person who people actually want to be around.

Any tips?"

That’s sounds just like my hubby every bit of it however we have only been together 10 years not 30 sadly like a few other huni can’t give any advice my life has been a pure mess of a joke for as long as I can remember but will be keeping tabs on this post incase I can get any tips from other hey no harm in askin x

But respect for saying all that 1 of the biggest problems in the world atm is that people have stopped talking or seeking help and advice never be ashamed of ur life or wanting help every1 well scratch that most people deserve sum however don’t lol x good luck pal kay x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friends can be an interesting one..I have two but only because I lack my tribe..at my age most have settled to a routine family life but I'm into my music and dance and chat about anything and everything alas my friends of recent years don't get that a 55 yrs old is still looking for the partys and festivals..what I'm trying to say is if you asked those you know around you, you may find they have lots of acquaintances but not true friends..they are rare...and Don t over think or try too hard to want people to like you..be you..don't become someone you re not just to gain likes and friendship...those that mind don't matter and those that matter don t mind. Chill, talk to someone and if you suffer depression as you hinted then keep the mind active and busy...idle brain can be a dangerous brain.Hope you don t take offence this is my experience and I have PTSD among other things...as for my two friends they re not hang out in a pub type friends..a lot of my time is spent alone but I ve learned how to ignore others opinions..that's half the battle. Don t believe your kids don t like you...maybe it was an off cuff remark that you ve put too much thinking into.Your wife has been great for 30 years..why would that change if you ve not changed. Hope this helps a little and please don't misread any of it...stay well and chill

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Hey. I don’t know if this is your depression kicking in, or just the post Christmas doldrums. Anyway, how are you going to find new friends? That’s the first thing to decide. New hobby? Gym?

Making new friends, especially as an older man, is really difficult. I'm in the same position. Any ideas why you don't connect; what made you think the Meetup group didn't like you?

I'm not trying to argue with you but did you engage anyone in conversation or contact any of them?

I ask because I know a woman who I have tried quite hard to be a friend to, she never, ever makes contact so I've stopped contacting her.

I'd been in the group for three years and I thought of several of them as friends. "

Ah, I'm sorry. Groups of humans can exclude people quite ruthlessly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think, and this is probably going to sound stupid, that we (society) are losing the ability to be warm and welcoming to others because too many of us live our lives through social media rather than interacting with people. We’ve lost the ability to pick up on people who may be shy, socially awkward (whatever) and trying to welcome them. Instead it’s all just superficial niceties. You’re kept at arms length without ever getting to know someone properly, so real connections are lost.

I’m not sure what my point is, or what the answer is, but I don’t think it’s all down to you OP.

Some folk ARE just unwelcoming or unfriendly. And often it’s those that are in positions where they should be welcoming and friendly.

As others have said, maybe a good honest Counsellor can shed some light on things.

Spot on

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

"Lots of people blame the world around them for their woes.

It takes courage to look inward and acknowledge you might be partly at fault.

Change can be hard but it is definitely possible if you really want it and you work at it.

Good luck OP

You having no fucking clue. Partley others to blame.

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

You must have such a fluffy life. Wtf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I am so grateful for what I do have, honestly I am I also realise that fragility of this and how easily things can change.

My single biggest problem is:

I'm an over thinker.

I ponder and fret about everything to the point of obsession, this I have to stop before I self destruct."

Keep busy as others have said...find a focus that will feed your brain..it's a remarkable creation but it was created to work, to solve, to seek...if it lays idle it plays with whatever it finds..negativity being a common but unwanted source...no offense OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want to chat message me..I may not answer straight away as I work out in wilds with no signal but I will answer soon as I can

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By *iggyStarjumpsMan
over a year ago

Stockport

"Hey. I don’t know if this is your depression kicking in, or just the post Christmas doldrums. Anyway, how are you going to find new friends? That’s the first thing to decide. New hobby? Gym?

Making new friends, especially as an older man, is really difficult. I'm in the same position. Any ideas why you don't connect; what made you think the Meetup group didn't like you?

I'm not trying to argue with you but did you engage anyone in conversation or contact any of them?

I ask because I know a woman who I have tried quite hard to be a friend to, she never, ever makes contact so I've stopped contacting her.

I'd been in the group for three years and I thought of several of them as friends. "

Just the wrong group for you. Are there others you could join? I think walking groups are great for meeting people if you're into the outdoors. What about voluntary work or learning to dance, a book club, running group? Keep trying new things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey. I don’t know if this is your depression kicking in, or just the post Christmas doldrums. Anyway, how are you going to find new friends? That’s the first thing to decide. New hobby? Gym?

Making new friends, especially as an older man, is really difficult. I'm in the same position. Any ideas why you don't connect; what made you think the Meetup group didn't like you?

I'm not trying to argue with you but did you engage anyone in conversation or contact any of them?

I ask because I know a woman who I have tried quite hard to be a friend to, she never, ever makes contact so I've stopped contacting her.

I'd been in the group for three years and I thought of several of them as friends.

I looked at several other groups, but there were too many familiar faces on the membership lists. I need to find something to do other than board games.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get to doctors.. tell them what you have written here

Get a grievance process started at work. Don't take any shit

Start some kind of hobby... cld be running/ gym/ exercise...but preferably where you join a group...

Focus on positive...you have smoking hot wife...she loves you and cares...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs OP x

I have seen similar posts from you before.

I don't know you or your situation - it's best to speak to a professional that knows how to treat depression, paranoia etc ..

To me it sounds like you have a lot of things to be happy about- a lot of things that many people don't have.

I hope you get the help you need x

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"1st off I’d recommend some kind of professional help. It’s not got the same stigma attached to it that it once did. Obviously I don’t know you from Adam, as it were OP, but I do know this is a shitty time of year for a whole host of reasons.

Sounds like you’ve a wonderful wife and hopefully she can see you through this bad time. Will keep an eye out on this thread for you OP"

As the wife of the op I will support him whatever!

He is my soulmate and I love him more than he will ever understand.

I just wish he could see what a beautiful person he actually is.

He has the ability to make people laugh but I do feel he puts on a front around people....

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By *iggyStarjumpsMan
over a year ago

Stockport

Sounds like you’ve a wonderful wife and hopefully she can see you through this bad time. Will keep an eye out on this thread for you OP

As the wife of the op I will support him whatever!

He is my soulmate and I love him more than he will ever understand.

I just wish he could see what a beautiful person he actually is.

He has the ability to make people laugh but I do feel he puts on a front around people...."

That's amazing. You're so lucky to have found each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know how to bookmark these posts but from what I read, people close to you may think you have changed over the years. Your wife is still with you.....that should tell you that she still loves the man she met and married, for her you haven't changed....so maybe it's not you that needs to change?

Maybe not the best advice but always willing to listen to people, which is what most are after xx good luck x

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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

I think it was brave to post what you did. When in a low place we take comments out of context. Read more into what has been said, than the person saying them actually meant.

I’ve moaned about members of my family, but woe betide someone else doing it. I’d defend them to the hilt. Perhaps this is how your children are.

It’s also a very difficult time of year, people all flung together. Faceache full of perfect families etc, but that’s not reality behind the facade of a lot of profiles there.

Your wife sounds very supportive and that’s a real positive in your life. Please be kind to yourself. Xx

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I think it was brave to post what you did. When in a low place we take comments out of context. Read more into what has been said, than the person saying them actually meant.

I’ve moaned about members of my family, but woe betide someone else doing it. I’d defend them to the hilt. Perhaps this is how your children are.

It’s also a very difficult time of year, people all flung together. Faceache full of perfect families etc, but that’s not reality behind the facade of a lot of profiles there.

Your wife sounds very supportive and that’s a real positive in your life. Please be kind to yourself. Xx "

She has nice tits too

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

I don't think you'd be alone here... Some might even resort to fab as a means to feel some inclusivity...

However,the fact that you've reflected on yourself is one aspect. A lot of your issues may reside from your upbringing/values/experiences growing up.

It's good you have a wife to support you, but that should be a seen as a leverage to get you doing things you enjoy.

If there are genuine personality issue, then that's something to have an open chat with your kids/wife about and see a counsellor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think you'd be alone here... Some might even resort to fab as a means to feel some inclusivity..."

That's certainly why I'm still here after all this time - it's certainly not because I'm having loads of rampant sex! As harsh as Fab is a lot of the time, it's been my only real social circle for long periods.

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