FabSwingers.com forum: On-again, off-again relationships

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Perhaps someone can help me understand why this happens. My best friend breaks up with his girlfriend every two months or so and a week later they get back together.

I don't understand why people do this. Is it reaffirming your love for each other? Are there couples out there who can't live with each other, but can't live without each other too?

They have kids too, so maybe that's why they get back together, but it can't be healthy for the kids watching their mum and dad break up on a regular basis. If you've stopped loving each other, why not just break up altogether?

The reason I ask is because it sort of bothers me. I want what he has. I want a relationship and it's hard watching two people you love dearly break up then get back together every few months, especially when you want a partner yourself.

It is jealousy, I will admit that, but I don't think there's anything wrong with being jealous of those who are in a relationship. We all want to be happy, to meet someone who makes us happy and who we make happy in return.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps she pays her utilities bills bi monthly and he separates from her to avoid being asked for money. When she's paid her dues he returns.

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

"Perhaps someone can help me understand why this happens. My best friend breaks up with his girlfriend every two months or so and a week later they get back together.

I don't understand why people do this. Is it reaffirming your love for each other? Are there couples out there who can't live with each other, but can't live without each other too?

But if they keep breaking up, do you really want a relationship like that?!

I would rather be single than that, but then I like being single.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Look up co-dependancy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps she pays her utilities bills bi monthly and he separates from her to avoid being asked for money. When she's paid her dues he returns."

I'm not sure how serious you are here, but

that actually made me laugh because I could sort of see him doing that.

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By *edVelveteenCouple
over a year ago

Heaven in the Midlands

Maybe they're addicted to the rush of falling in love again. Maybe they just have huge arguments then realise how petty they were.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps she pays her utilities bills bi monthly and he separates from her to avoid being asked for money. When she's paid her dues he returns.

I'm not sure how serious you are here, but

that actually made me laugh because I could sort of see him doing that. "

Mystery solved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There could be any number of reasons for this happening however it's not good for the kids to go through it too they understand more than we think

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Some people are just very dramatic and tempestuous. They lose their temper, shout and yell and storm off, but deep down they love each so come back together.

Some folk can’t live together and yet they can’t be without each other.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps someone can help me understand why this happens. My best friend breaks up with his girlfriend every two months or so and a week later they get back together.

I don't understand why people do this. Is it reaffirming your love for each other? Are there couples out there who can't live with each other, but can't live without each other too?

But if they keep breaking up, do you really want a relationship like that?!

I would rather be single than that, but then I like being single."

No, no, don't get me wrong, I don't want a relationship exactly like theirs. I want a normal relationship where we don't break up. I'm just saying it's difficult watching your friends break up and get back together all of the time whilst thinking ''I must be doing something extremely wrong if I'm still single and they're still playing this daft game''. It's frustrating.

Ah, maybe it's just this time of year, it always gets me down.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some people are just very dramatic and tempestuous. They lose their temper, shout and yell and storm off, but deep down they love each so come back together.

Some folk can’t live together and yet they can’t be without each other.

Yeah, I guess this makes sense. To be fair if I had to live with my mate, I'd have probably throttled him by now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a clue mate yoyo relationships are hard and complex maybe the need a dog to walk or to go around the world(only people over 35 should get this joke)

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I would hazard a guess that their sex life is pretty hot. In relationships like this it’s usually the sex is too good to give up until you really have reached a point of not being able to take the drama anymore.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think there seems to be a bit of jealousy / distrust on her part. Thinking back it seems like they only break up if he goes on a night out. I think they've had problems before with him being a bit too flirty with other women. I've seen it myself when I've been out with him, making eyes at other women, so if this is the case, I can't really blame her. I'm just not getting involved because the last time I did that with another couple it caused me nothing but trouble.

I love the guy, he's a twat, but he's my twat and vice versa.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

They will love each other, just because you split up with someone does not mean you stopped loving them.

Maybe with having kids they don't prioritise themselves then arguements get out of hand as they weren't sorted while just a problem. Then they split up and this forces them to focus on each other and their relationship and so then they sort things and get back together. Happens with me and my partner a fair bit but his kids are teens so they shouldn't really be taking up allhis time, well his daughter doesn't but his son is lazy and wants his dad to do everyting forhim and i honestly think we will split for good over this. Just found out a couple of months ago his ex wife left him for that reason and my fella was telling me the person who'd said this about his ex wife didn't know what they were talking about and all i could think was 'i think they know exactly what they are talking about coz i'm feeling the same way'...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would hazard a guess that their sex life is pretty hot. In relationships like this it’s usually the sex is too good to give up until you really have reached a point of not being able to take the drama anymore."

I'll second this. Unfortunately, sex, whilst being a fundamental part of any relationship, can not and will not hold a relationship together for ever. And so they break up, then get back together. At some point you may well find it all fizzles out. They must have been together for a long time if they have kids together?

xx Niki

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never compare yourself to others OP. Its rarely uplifting.

Your friends, it's their life and if they like the drama then trying to change others and the way they live is an exercise in futility.

People find their own way, no matter what others may think of their choices.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never compare yourself to others OP. Its rarely uplifting.

Your friends, it's their life and if they like the drama then trying to change others and the way they live is an exercise in futility.

People find their own way, no matter what others may think of their choices."

Wise advice, Hine. You are so right.

xx Niki

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