FabSwingers.com forum: 3 meet rule..

By *iss Scherzzo OP Woman
over a year ago

Liverpool

So I heard this is a thing. Never meet someone more than 3 times to avoid any emotional attachment developing. I have people who push the right buttons so I meet regular but I can kinda relate to this as I feel it’s human nature to become “fond” of someone if you enjoy their company.

Anyone have any rules like this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not specifically but people can cat emotionally involved without realising if they meet on a regular basis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I heard this is a thing. Never meet someone more than 3 times to avoid any emotional attachment developing. I have people who push the right buttons so I meet regular but I can kinda relate to this as I feel it’s human nature to become “fond” of someone if you enjoy their company.

Anyone have any rules like this? "

Sounds like a cop out to play the field.

I've met loads of people multiple times and never formed an emotional attachment beyond friendship.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Not specifically but people can cat emotionally involved without realising if they meet on a regular basis. "

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Some people have different rules because they know how they work and what says some best. For me I want to form attachments with people, they don't need to be deep or last years, I'm just happy to go with the flow and see how things go. But that's what works best for me. Others may have to personal rules in place to as they may not be looking for the same thing and understand how their mind and body works

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What's wrong with emotional attachments?

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By *iss Scherzzo OP Woman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Anyone have any rules like this?

Sounds like a cop out to play the field.

I've met loads of people multiple times and never formed an emotional attachment beyond friendship. "

Oh this wasn’t said to me an excuse. Just someone mentioned it in conversation that he had heard from someone else

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By *iss Scherzzo OP Woman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"What's wrong with emotional attachments?

Depends on the situation this was a single girl telling a single guy so I guess so it didn’t develop into some strings rather than no strings

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By *racy_JacksWoman
over a year ago

Derby

"What's wrong with emotional attachments?

This. If I’m going to be having sex with someone then I would hope that I am at least ‘fond’ of them.

I tend to do things like limit contact between meets. Not as any kind of rule or strategy to avoid too much of an attachment, more because there isn’t any need and it’s not something I feel like doing.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think it depends who you're meeting.

If the person or people are missing intimacy they can sometimes mistake sex for that and become attached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone have any rules like this?

Sounds like a cop out to play the field.

I've met loads of people multiple times and never formed an emotional attachment beyond friendship.

Oh this wasn’t said to me an excuse. Just someone mentioned it in conversation that he had heard from someone else "

Ok. Fair enough.

I'm wired mentally: Sex is sex. Love is love.

I'm head over heels in love with Miss C and nothing and no one will ever change that.

Have 4 meets with me and I'll prove it to you

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"What's wrong with emotional attachments?

Depends on the situation this was a single girl telling a single guy so I guess so it didn’t develop into some strings rather than no strings "

Yes I think it does depend on the situation and who you're meeting as I said above. However if you like someone, you like them I suppose the key word is "develop" limiting meets to three stops any development on the liking someone

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By *hris99Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

Everyone is different I think if things are clear from the outset and there is some space between meeting up you don't get to build that type of bond where you become attached, but everyone is different so what works for one mightn't work for another

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One offs, this being only one reason to do so but a good one.

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By *iss Scherzzo OP Woman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Anyone have any rules like this?

Sounds like a cop out to play the field.

I've met loads of people multiple times and never formed an emotional attachment beyond friendship.

Oh this wasn’t said to me an excuse. Just someone mentioned it in conversation that he had heard from someone else

Ok. Fair enough.

I'm wired mentally: Sex is sex. Love is love.

I'm head over heels in love with Miss C and nothing and no one will ever change that.

Have 4 meets with me and I'll prove it to you

Haha Its not my rule. I have guys I meet regularly who I’m really fond of but I also love my Mr but I was curious when I heard this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone have any rules like this? "
my rule is no rules

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"What's wrong with emotional attachments?

This. If I’m going to be having sex with someone then I would hope that I am at least ‘fond’ of them.

I don't need to be fond of them, I just need to like them on a superficial level. The most important thing for me when it comes to casual sex is physical attraction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone have any rules like this?

Sounds like a cop out to play the field.

I've met loads of people multiple times and never formed an emotional attachment beyond friendship.

Oh this wasn’t said to me an excuse. Just someone mentioned it in conversation that he had heard from someone else

Ok. Fair enough.

I'm wired mentally: Sex is sex. Love is love.

I'm head over heels in love with Miss C and nothing and no one will ever change that.

Have 4 meets with me and I'll prove it to you

Haha Its not my rule. I have guys I meet regularly who I’m really fond of but I also love my Mr but I was curious when I heard this "

I think some people shouldn't swing. You need to be wired a certain way. Swinging when you form emotional attachments is a sure recipe for heartache.

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By *iss Scherzzo OP Woman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Anyone have any rules like this? my rule is no rules

I had 2 rules with regard to sex for my whole life. No facials. No anal. Broke both since I joined fab hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone have any rules like this? my rule is no rules

I had 2 rules with regard to sex for my whole life. No facials. No anal. Broke both since I joined fab hahaha "
lol youre unruly as am i

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

No I think as long as you both know where the line is then it's fine to meet on a regular basis.I like the guys I meet but I know not to get emotionally involved with them and them with me. I consider them to be friends as well as people I have great sex with.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Anyone have any rules like this? "

It comes across as cold, calculating and impersonal in my view. You can meet someone, be very fond of them but still respect certain boundaries. If you click with someone and enjoy their company, why limit yourself to three occasions then basically cut them off?

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By *iss Scherzzo OP Woman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Anyone have any rules like this?

Sounds like a cop out to play the field.

I've met loads of people multiple times and never formed an emotional attachment beyond friendship.

Oh this wasn’t said to me an excuse. Just someone mentioned it in conversation that he had heard from someone else

Ok. Fair enough.

I'm wired mentally: Sex is sex. Love is love.

I'm head over heels in love with Miss C and nothing and no one will ever change that.

Have 4 meets with me and I'll prove it to you

Haha Its not my rule. I have guys I meet regularly who I’m really fond of but I also love my Mr but I was curious when I heard this

I think some people shouldn't swing. You need to be wired a certain way. Swinging when you form emotional attachments is a sure recipe for heartache. "

I think it depends on the type of attachment. I’m like my regulars. I don’t wanna go out for dinner or meet their parents but I care about them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

swinging is a label the reality is youre having sexual relations with several people, human beings have emotions how can some not become attached in intimate situations its inevitable in my opinion, many people on this internet domain are not swingers they are looking for something they haven't found up until now, don't feel guilty ever that you like the people you're intimate with

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By *iss Scherzzo OP Woman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Anyone have any rules like this? my rule is no rules

I had 2 rules with regard to sex for my whole life. No facials. No anal. Broke both since I joined fab hahaha lol youre unruly as am i

I like to rebel from time to time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it only takes 1 what do u do then?

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By *iss Scherzzo OP Woman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"No I think as long as you both know where the line is then it's fine to meet on a regular basis.I like the guys I meet but I know not to get emotionally involved with them and them with me. I consider them to be friends as well as people I have great sex with."

Yes this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With no emotion you may as well be shooting ducks

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Anyone have any rules like this? "

Exactly the opposite, We’ve found we want a level of attachment, we want to do more than have sex with someone fun though that obviously is, after they’ve gone we’ve just felt a bit meh before now.

So we have “Friends” that stay for days, do other vanilla stuff together too & they feel more part of something more than sex if you see what I mean.

They still have their life, we still have ours, just occasionally we share each other’s.

It’s not for everyone & if our home life was as it was 15yrs ago it probably wouldn’t be for us either as we rarely saw each other let alone anyone, both workaholics then with no time for anything else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have any rules but am ok with a little emotional attachment. I have become very good at it not going any further than just that, for a better sexual connection. I shan't be falling for anyone because of it, for sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never got the memo.

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By *etite HandfulWoman
over a year ago

Chester

Men get clingy and possessive so 3-4 meets at most then a break well unless you are here looking for a partner many are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if you both communicate exactly what you are interested in and looking for then its fine. If one then wants more and its not mutual then you can always part. You can meet someone once and they could want more than you so it seems an arbitrary rule.

Personally I like to have a connection ,even the sex is better .

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By *airytaleOfNewPorkMan
over a year ago

Close By

"Men get clingy and possessive so 3-4 meets at most then a break well unless you are here looking for a partner many are. "

As do women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone have any rules like this?

Sounds like a cop out to play the field.

I've met loads of people multiple times and never formed an emotional attachment beyond friendship.

Oh this wasn’t said to me an excuse. Just someone mentioned it in conversation that he had heard from someone else

Ok. Fair enough.

I'm wired mentally: Sex is sex. Love is love.

I'm head over heels in love with Miss C and nothing and no one will ever change that.

Have 4 meets with me and I'll prove it to you

Haha Its not my rule. I have guys I meet regularly who I’m really fond of but I also love my Mr but I was curious when I heard this

I think some people shouldn't swing. You need to be wired a certain way. Swinging when you form emotional attachments is a sure recipe for heartache.

I think it depends on the type of attachment. I’m like my regulars. I don’t wanna go out for dinner or meet their parents but I care about them "

Oh for sure I love my friends. But falling IN LOVE something else.

If I were to meet 10 people a week off fab Miss C would be ambivalent. If I met a woman not on fab for a romantic date. I'd be DeadNuts.

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I think if you both communicate exactly what you are interested in and looking for then its fine. If one then wants more and its not mutual then you can always part. You can meet someone once and they could want more than you so it seems an arbitrary rule.

Personally I like to have a connection ,even the sex is better ."

Exactly this

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By *iss Scherzzo OP Woman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Anyone have any rules like this?

Sounds like a cop out to play the field.

I've met loads of people multiple times and never formed an emotional attachment beyond friendship.

Oh this wasn’t said to me an excuse. Just someone mentioned it in conversation that he had heard from someone else

Ok. Fair enough.

I'm wired mentally: Sex is sex. Love is love.

I'm head over heels in love with Miss C and nothing and no one will ever change that.

Have 4 meets with me and I'll prove it to you

Haha Its not my rule. I have guys I meet regularly who I’m really fond of but I also love my Mr but I was curious when I heard this

I think some people shouldn't swing. You need to be wired a certain way. Swinging when you form emotional attachments is a sure recipe for heartache.

I think it depends on the type of attachment. I’m like my regulars. I don’t wanna go out for dinner or meet their parents but I care about them

Oh for sure I love my friends. But falling IN LOVE something else.

If I were to meet 10 people a week off fab Miss C would be ambivalent. If I met a woman not on fab for a romantic date. I'd be DeadNuts."

Yeah exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow. Season of goodwill and all that....

Just in time for another thread in how to subliminate our humanity by not letting another touch in us the ways that matter most....

Fuck the games. If I care for someone why should I hide it?

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By *ants cockWoman
over a year ago

lincoln

Anyone have any rules like this? "

I’ve had 2 buddies for 7years. I like to meet them it’s just sex. If they did more then a bond could potentially form. They don’t they are just fuck boys lol we stop meeting when one another does form a relationship though. So we are all on the same page. This is a good rule if you are someone that falls easily though.

I just find it takes me a lot more than a good meet to get any emotional feelings

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

We're human, biologically we're supposed to form attachments, to make sure any resulting baby is more likely to survive.

I don't believe people who say they meet regularly and don't form SOME sort of bond.

For me, it's all in the expectations that I have going into it. I've met several people for long periods of time, and definitely felt a bond, though it was just sex, and stayed that way.

Better sex, in my opinion, when that connection develops. I can read him better and feel more comfortable asking for and trying new things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I catch feelings off a wink so I'm not the best person to ask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone have any rules like this? my rule is no rules

I had 2 rules with regard to sex for my whole life. No facials. No anal. Broke both since I joined fab hahaha lol youre unruly as am i

I like to rebel from time to time "
I'm a rebel without a cause

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I think the key is communication and how you process your own emotions - I'm perfectly capable of being very fond of someone and not falling madly in love with them. If you enjoy spending time together and are fond of each other, why does it have to lead to more? I personally just enjoy those times spent together for as long as it may last.

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By *heSofaDestroyersCouple
over a year ago

HereAndThere

Mrs had feeling after the second meet so she me her rules that night!

All two off them

No babies

No feelings....

Over two years together and one rule is intact!!

Thank goodness I had the snip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me sex and friendship go really well together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's probably good most people get into swinging after they've had some time to work there emotions out!

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

This is for us why we want to fab with couples, there is someone who is going to be hopefully reigning in their partner if things go emotional. Can see how this happens, but don't agree with the three rules statement, as adults we should have the wherefore to know when things are going south and how to prevent this ultimately.

We'd love to have a few go to couples over here, but it seems that's not going to happen, but we live in hope...

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By *athan 123Man
over a year ago

rochdale oldham border

Anyone have any rules like this? "

Yes I have to agree with this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One offs are pretty crap. Not my staple diet! I care about the people I meet, as friends with benefits, but I don't want anybody's feet under my table or to be booking a church!!

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I suppose for those who get easily attached to people, it makes a bit of sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The safest policy is not to meet in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rules are made to be broken just go on your gut instinct, stay safe and have no regrets

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

I love my friends and sex with a connection; more than just attraction, seriously works for me

I'm not in love with my friends and that for me is the difference.

I don't believe it takes 3 meetings to form attachments either.

Maybe my kink experience and the building of trust has changed me

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