FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Numbers game

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Apologies for the less than bubbly nature of this tread, but here goes.

Is fab (and most other dating sites for that matter) just a numbers game? I find a lot of messages in my inbox that are copy and paste, or that have taken absolutely no time to compose.

I'm under no impression that I'm the only woman that a guy has messaged (even when they tell me it's the first message they've sent - despite having a profile that's 3 months old )

But is the game just to sent as many messages as possibly and just hope for a reply? I feel that it totally devalues everything and leaves people feeli g unwanted (because of lack of replies) and overwhelmed (with too many random messages) - bit of a viscous circle!!

I had a conversation recently with an insanely beautiful woman who frequents clubs and she made a very valid point - regardless of how she looks or presents herself, men there will have sex with her.

It was far from an ego thing believe me, it's just that there are too many men that are of the mindset "any hole is a goal". And I'm inclined to agree with her.

Apopogies to the fussy men that are very rigid in what/who they are attracted to - and beauty and attraction does comes in all shapes and sizes - but why compromise on your "type" just to get a shag??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Sometimes I think there is scatter gun attitude ... law of averages says they'll hit a target at some point

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Apologies for the less than bubbly nature of this tread, but here goes.

Is fab (and most other dating sites for that matter) just a numbers game? I find a lot of messages in my inbox that are copy and paste, or that have taken absolutely no time to compose.

I'm under no impression that I'm the only woman that a guy has messaged (even when they tell me it's the first message they've sent - despite having a profile that's 3 months old )

But is the game just to sent as many messages as possibly and just hope for a reply? I feel that it totally devalues everything and leaves people feeli g unwanted (because of lack of replies) and overwhelmed (with too many random messages) - bit of a viscous circle!!

I had a conversation recently with an insanely beautiful woman who frequents clubs and she made a very valid point - regardless of how she looks or presents herself, men there will have sex with her.

It was far from an ego thing believe me, it's just that there are too many men that are of the mindset "any hole is a goal". And I'm inclined to agree with her.

Apopogies to the fussy men that are very rigid in what/who they are attracted to - and beauty and attraction does comes in all shapes and sizes - but why compromise on your "type" just to get a shag?? "
i dont, no compromise here i either get what i want or i dont want it, i don't need a shag

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think guys will send a generic message to test the water first. No point in writing war and peace to just be ignored. It is a vicious circle but it’s that type of site. Everyone has the option of leaving for a different less challenging site.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sometimes I think there is scatter gun attitude ... law of averages says they'll hit a target at some point"

Exactly, but then it leaves them feeling deflated when they don't get replies so why do it to themselves??

Plus we all know that most of the messages we receive are men trying this approach, so personally I feel like he isn't actually interested in me at all, just trying his luck with 50 random women today - so I don't reply

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hang in there. They’re not all like that. There are some diamonds in the rough.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think guys will send a generic message to test the water first. No point in writing war and peace to just be ignored. It is a vicious circle but it’s that type of site. Everyone has the option of leaving for a different less challenging site. "

But how do you expect a woman or couple (or other man) to respond to a generic message that is just testing the water when they have 100s of other messages that are exactly the same?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hang in there. They’re not all like that. There are some diamonds in the rough. "

Have found a couple on my time on here, but feel that wading through the unnecessary shit could be avoided if people stop and think

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Men spend 9 months of their life trying to get out and the rest of it trying to get back in again ..

.

.

So long as it's not the same place

.

.

We're programmed to try it on in the hope we get to "breed"

It's only as humans have become more and more intelligent and apply reason to actions that this has been questioned more

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think guys will send a generic message to test the water first. No point in writing war and peace to just be ignored. It is a vicious circle but it’s that type of site. Everyone has the option of leaving for a different less challenging site.

But how do you expect a woman or couple (or other man) to respond to a generic message that is just testing the water when they have 100s of other messages that are exactly the same? "

I’m not saying there is a perfect answer, catch 22 situation. No guy knows what anyone else is sending so it’s the blind leading the blind. Don’t you make a decision on someone if you find them attractive first?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I’m not saying there is a perfect answer, catch 22 situation. No guy knows what anyone else is sending so it’s the blind leading the blind. Don’t you make a decision on someone if you find them attractive first? "

Bit surely some of this can be mitigated by reading a profile, ascertaining that the sender fits the parameters of the profiles "looking for" if applicable and writing something original and that merits a reply?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *Jones19Man
over a year ago

Evesham, Worcester, Pershore

Its seams that way in terms of women/couples being bombarded. And I'm sure weve all experienced it causes issues for people on here, as ive messaged 2 couples recently who have responded back to me rather rudely after I've sent polite messages. Not holding it against then, I just believe that they've received so much spam/generic thoughtless messages, that they feel it's the most effective way of dealing with messages. It can make FAB a negative place for all involved.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I’m not saying there is a perfect answer, catch 22 situation. No guy knows what anyone else is sending so it’s the blind leading the blind. Don’t you make a decision on someone if you find them attractive first?

Bit surely some of this can be mitigated by reading a profile, ascertaining that the sender fits the parameters of the profiles "looking for" if applicable and writing something original and that merits a reply? "

Of course it can be mitigated but you’re trying to make sense of an environment and a world that a lot of the time doesn’t make much sense, we are all learning everyday.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adyinred696969Couple
over a year ago

Brecon

Guys will throw a wide net, because they outnumber women by a huge margin on most sites, and therefore need to hit a large number in the hopes of a response.

Most (not all) think with their dicks, and will happily have sex with any woman that shows an interest.

Some (the minority) are a little more choosy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago

The South Near That London

OP - as much as this sounds like I’m cutting my nose off to spite my face; block single men from messaging and find the ones you like the look of - it’ll save an inbox of dross

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago

The South Near That London

PS the first pic on your gallery is fantastic

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *anacekMan
over a year ago

nantwich


"I think guys will send a generic message to test the water first. No point in writing war and peace to just be ignored. It is a vicious circle but it’s that type of site. Everyone has the option of leaving for a different less challenging site. "

I totally agree ...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In all my years visiting FAB it's always been my impression that the many men, and some women spoil if for the few.

I haven't met many people from FAB on the basis that opening a genuine and honest conversation is difficult and I've always taken the time to compose a good message to a well written profile.. I assume that a lot get lost amongst the many poorly thought out and basic messages, just a lucky thing if one makes it through and I click with someone.

Communication is the second thing I look for, initial attraction is a must but if its not followed up with a good flow of conversation I'll assume that might be a indication of future endeavours as well.

FAB for a single man if very much about finding a diamond in the rough when it comes to single women but I have made some great acquaintances over time.

Just my opinion..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Guys will throw a wide net, because they outnumber women by a huge margin on most sites, and therefore need to hit a large number in the hopes of a response.

Most (not all) think with their dicks, and will happily have sex with any woman that shows an interest.

Some (the minority) are a little more choosy."

Bitvwoukd you not be more inclined to reply to a well written message from somebody that indicates that they have read your profile and meet the parameters that you have laid out?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OP - as much as this sounds like I’m cutting my nose off to spite my face; block single men from messaging and find the ones you like the look of - it’ll save an inbox of dross

"

I'm really considering it - however I would potentially miss out on some very decent people if I did that. A couple of my veris have come from people that I have met through here and have stood out with their messages

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Apologies for the less than bubbly nature of this tread, but here goes.

Is fab (and most other dating sites for that matter) just a numbers game? I find a lot of messages in my inbox that are copy and paste, or that have taken absolutely no time to compose.

I'm under no impression that I'm the only woman that a guy has messaged (even when they tell me it's the first message they've sent - despite having a profile that's 3 months old )

But is the game just to sent as many messages as possibly and just hope for a reply? I feel that it totally devalues everything and leaves people feeli g unwanted (because of lack of replies) and overwhelmed (with too many random messages) - bit of a viscous circle!!

I had a conversation recently with an insanely beautiful woman who frequents clubs and she made a very valid point - regardless of how she looks or presents herself, men there will have sex with her.

It was far from an ego thing believe me, it's just that there are too many men that are of the mindset "any hole is a goal". And I'm inclined to agree with her.

Apopogies to the fussy men that are very rigid in what/who they are attracted to - and beauty and attraction does comes in all shapes and sizes - but why compromise on your "type" just to get a shag?? i dont, no compromise here i either get what i want or i dont want it, i don't need a shag "

Darn it was going to buy you a shag...

Pile carpet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys will throw a wide net, because they outnumber women by a huge margin on most sites, and therefore need to hit a large number in the hopes of a response.

Most (not all) think with their dicks, and will happily have sex with any woman that shows an interest.

Some (the minority) are a little more choosy.

Bitvwoukd you not be more inclined to reply to a well written message from somebody that indicates that they have read your profile and meet the parameters that you have laid out?"

Well written does not mean they are on same page

Had a few good messages but turned out to be wrong uns.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh

I’ve often had the thought that lots of blokes are here because it’s seen as a route to an easy shag. They see all manner of different women on a sex website and think that it’s easy pickings. My own experience of this place is that it’s the HARDEST internet “dating” site to even get a reply let alone a meet.

As for going after a type or not seeming fussy, I’m not sure I buy it. I like different “types” of women for different reasons. I’d not be foolish enough to let any preconceived ideas of what I like to get in the way.

I’ve no doubts that lots of women get hassled on here and that it must ruin the whole experience for them. No answer on a read message is as good as a “no thank you” on here and lots of blokes should take heed of that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"Hang in there. They’re not all like that. There are some diamonds in the rough.

Have found a couple on my time on here, but feel that wading through the unnecessary shit could be avoided if people stop and think "

It could but can see it from the guys point of view as well.

Easiest thing to stop the unwanted messages is block men and search yourself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve often had the thought that lots of blokes are here because it’s seen as a route to an easy shag. They see all manner of different women on a sex website and think that it’s easy pickings. My own experience of this place is that it’s the HARDEST internet “dating” site to even get a reply let alone a meet.

As for going after a type or not seeming fussy, I’m not sure I buy it. I like different “types” of women for different reasons. I’d not be foolish enough to let any preconceived ideas of what I like to get in the way.

I’ve no doubts that lots of women get hassled on here and that it must ruin the whole experience for them. No answer on a read message is as good as a “no thank you” on here and lots of blokes should take heed of that"

But surely a lot of people (including myself) have a preference aesthetically at least? I state in my profile that I am attracted to tall men - so why message if you arent tall? (Just an example)

If a guy has "likes tall women" I wouldn't message because I'm 4'11"!

I mean granted- aesthetics are only the beginning of attraction, but for me it is vital, and I have particular qualities that I find attractive and they are stated on my profile.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

It could but can see it from the guys point of view as well.

Easiest thing to stop the unwanted messages is block men and search yourself "

Based on the amount of men that post threads about not being able to get meets I'd say it was a genuine issue.

It must really knock a guys confidence when he sends messages and just gets deleted or left on read - I realise that.

But of they send 50 messages a day, and get no replies then surely they need to restructure their approach?

I delete so many "hiya" messages its unreal, along with the unwanted erotic fiction, and "meet now?" And the majority if these are from unverified men.

A better approach would be to select people that he is genuinely interested in and within a realistic distance and make effort to ensure he has read the profile and put effort into a message.

I get that this is an "ideal" and would only work for the masses if everyone stopped mass messaging simultaneously....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh


"I’ve often had the thought that lots of blokes are here because it’s seen as a route to an easy shag. They see all manner of different women on a sex website and think that it’s easy pickings. My own experience of this place is that it’s the HARDEST internet “dating” site to even get a reply let alone a meet.

As for going after a type or not seeming fussy, I’m not sure I buy it. I like different “types” of women for different reasons. I’d not be foolish enough to let any preconceived ideas of what I like to get in the way.

I’ve no doubts that lots of women get hassled on here and that it must ruin the whole experience for them. No answer on a read message is as good as a “no thank you” on here and lots of blokes should take heed of that

But surely a lot of people (including myself) have a preference aesthetically at least? I state in my profile that I am attracted to tall men - so why message if you arent tall? (Just an example)

If a guy has "likes tall women" I wouldn't message because I'm 4'11"!

I mean granted- aesthetics are only the beginning of attraction, but for me it is vital, and I have particular qualities that I find attractive and they are stated on my profile. "

Absolutely, having a preference and stating it on a profile only for it to be completely ignored must be frustrating. I don’t doubt it. The vast majority of people don’t read the bio. I also think that a lot of the unverified profiles have no idea just how many single men there are on here.

I guess I’m not sure what the answer is. Stricter preferences on the type of men that can message maybe? I’m sure that will have been discussed on the forums before

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Apologies for the less than bubbly nature of this tread, but here goes.

Is fab (and most other dating sites for that matter) just a numbers game? I find a lot of messages in my inbox that are copy and paste, or that have taken absolutely no time to compose.

I'm under no impression that I'm the only woman that a guy has messaged (even when they tell me it's the first message they've sent - despite having a profile that's 3 months old )

But is the game just to sent as many messages as possibly and just hope for a reply? I feel that it totally devalues everything and leaves people feeli g unwanted (because of lack of replies) and overwhelmed (with too many random messages) - bit of a viscous circle!!

I had a conversation recently with an insanely beautiful woman who frequents clubs and she made a very valid point - regardless of how she looks or presents herself, men there will have sex with her.

It was far from an ego thing believe me, it's just that there are too many men that are of the mindset "any hole is a goal". And I'm inclined to agree with her.

Apopogies to the fussy men that are very rigid in what/who they are attracted to - and beauty and attraction does comes in all shapes and sizes - but why compromise on your "type" just to get a shag?? i dont, no compromise here i either get what i want or i dont want it, i don't need a shag

Darn it was going to buy you a shag...

Pile carpet "
lol hey carpets are coming back in

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hang in there. They’re not all like that. There are some diamonds in the rough. "

Thank you. You did mean me; didn't you?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top