FabSwingers.com forum: The Five Commandments of Fab...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.

Thou shalt not:

1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.

2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?

3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.

4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.

5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...

You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.

Thou shalt not:

1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.

2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?

3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.

4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.

5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...

You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn

Fuck me, that’s me off yr Xmas card list haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.

Thou shalt not:

1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.

2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?

3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.

4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.

5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...

You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn

Yes, and I would lie to add calling me trouble or cheeky. Raarrgghh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.

Thou shalt not:

1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.

2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?

3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.

4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.

5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...

You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn

Hit the nail on the head. Especially number 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt not

1. Impose your views on others.

Actually, that'll do.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Thou shalt not tease me with your tight pert ass

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not tease me with your tight pert ass"

Really not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thou shalt not have a sense of humour

thou shalt not brag

thou shalt not ask for profile help

thou shalt not show ones dick off 26 times

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"Thou shalt not tease me with your tight pert ass

Really not?

Well maybe we can allow one

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Thou shalt not complain, whine, bitch and moan about it being rude if there's no reply to messages

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Thou shall be more chilled in life without so many petty thou shall nots

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Thou shall be more chilled in life without so many petty thou shall nots

Reference the ..

Thou shalt not impose your views ....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/12/19 07:02:19]

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Thou shall be passionate and sensual with your words and thoughts

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

"Thou shall be more chilled in life without so many petty thou shall nots

Reference the ..

Thou shalt not impose your views ....

Hmm. Perhaps I’ve been working with Germans for too long

V av vays of makin u talk

or is thou shall not try to be a comic

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By *wingamajigsCouple
over a year ago

Folkestone

Spot on. Just need to add mmmmmm!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Spot on. Just need to add mmmmmm!"

Damn! Thank you!

Btw. Not imposing. Clearly states in the OP that these are MINE...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Ask if I'm having fun - arghhhhhhhh life is fun work is fun my kids are fun! Yes I always have fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*Ask if I'm having fun - arghhhhhhhh life is fun work is fun my kids are fun! Yes I always have fun! "
not as much fun as me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*Ask if I'm having fun - arghhhhhhhh life is fun work is fun my kids are fun! Yes I always have fun! not as much fun as me

Way more fun

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Thou shalt not..

Ask if I can meet now.

No.

No I cant.

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

Thou shall not (in hope more than expectation)

Want to speak on kik/Whatsapp

Mention they want their dick sucked on second message (that's surely a third message request)

Tell me how they would "smash" any of my holes in

Speak in weegie (am only 25 miles away but still need an interpreter)

NOT get my jokes

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

nr Stamford

Thou shalt not....

Make your first message "Hey, what are you up to?"

Assume we want to shag simply because we happen to be driving through your town.

Answer all our messages with one word replies that make us do ALL the work.

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

Oh...new one as of 2 mins ago.

Thou shall NOT ask if "anyone has ever watched me poo".

Sorry if yer having your brekkie reading this.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

Thou shalt not try and make a joke that upsets

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By *wingamajigsCouple
over a year ago

Folkestone

"Spot on. Just need to add mmmmmm!

Damn! Thank you!

Btw. Not imposing. Clearly states in the OP that these are MINE...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not..

Ask if I can meet now.

No.

No I cant."
are you on a hill?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt not deny yourself the pleasure of my company

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By *ldham12345xxxMan
over a year ago

oldham

"Spot on. Just need to add mmmmmm!"
hi your sexy you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thou shalt not have a sense of humour

thou shalt not brag

thou shalt not ask for profile help

thou shalt not show ones dick off 26 times

But 27 is OK

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

I’ve noticed it predominantly the ladies that are saying “thou shalt not”

Just an observation...

thou shalt not upset... think this comment might

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

[Removed by poster at 19/12/19 07:30:33]

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Do not be rude.

Yep that is about it really lol

Oh wait no calling me babe or hun darling etc when u don't know you puts me off bug time too.

So yep don't be rude or call me babe hun etc. That's all

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.

Thou shalt not:

1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.

2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?

3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.

4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.

5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...

You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn

I'm definitely with you here

Plus....

Do not send me a friend request, without messaging first, that means actual chatting, not just a one liner that I've not replied to or ignored

Do not ask me to meet you in your hotel, because I'm local & you're bored, lonely, horny

Do not make a new profile to get round the fact, I blocked your previous 3 profiles

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

1. You reap what you sow.

2. You can send be boob pictures.

3. Treat others as you wish to be treated.

4. You can send me boob pictures.

5. Keep it fun.

6. You can send me boob pictures.

7. The more genuine a person is is inversely proportional to the amount of genuines used.

8. You can send me boob pictures.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Thou shalt not write me a verification to get my attention when i've told you i'm not interested and ignored your messages

Thou shalt not be jealous and posessive over people, especially those that are clearly here to meet multiple people

Thou shalt not tell me i'm beautiful when you can't see my face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.

Thou shalt not:

1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.

2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?

3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.

4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.

5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...

You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn

I litteratly am dead

I think I have wet myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. Stop messaging our profile when it states we are not looking for meets yet

2. Stop trying to get either one of us to meet without the other - we are a team and when we meet we will only meet as a team

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt not message me asking if I’d like to meet. I don’t.

Thou shalt not keep telling me I’d dump him straight away once I’d met you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone. Just looked at these in my break and they’ve really given me the giggles

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Thank you everyone. Just looked at these in my break and they’ve really given me the giggles

Thou shalt check the fab forums during work time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you everyone. Just looked at these in my break and they’ve really given me the giggles

Thou shalt check the fab forums during work time"

Hush you

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Thank you everyone. Just looked at these in my break and they’ve really given me the giggles

Thou shalt check the fab forums during work time

Hush you

Thou shalt not silence the monkey lest risk the wrath of poop

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

And

Thou shalt not convert a friend request if we have not spoken or indicated we can to be friends

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you everyone. Just looked at these in my break and they’ve really given me the giggles

Thou shalt check the fab forums during work time

Hush you

Thou shalt not silence the monkey lest risk the wrath of poop "

You already told me the poop thing was a lie...

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Thank you everyone. Just looked at these in my break and they’ve really given me the giggles

Thou shalt check the fab forums during work time

Hush you

Thou shalt not silence the monkey lest risk the wrath of poop

You already told me the poop thing was a lie..."

Fake news for the purposes of misinformation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. You reap what you sow.

2. You can send be boob pictures.

3. Treat others as you wish to be treated.

4. You can send me boob pictures.

5. Keep it fun.

6. You can send me boob pictures.

7. The more genuine a person is is inversely proportional to the amount of genuines used.

8. You can send me boob pictures.

Absolutely no 7. Anyone genuine doesn't feel the need to convince others as they just are! The same as those demanding genuine only... Those disingenuous are not going to tell themselves, OK won't bother this one cos he/she wants genuine

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Thou shalt not name another fabber when asked who you fancy. Instead you should be more evasive than a politician asked about their expenses.

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Thou shalt not name another fabber when asked who you fancy. Instead you should be more evasive than a politician asked about their expenses. "

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By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes

"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.

Thou shalt not:

1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.

2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?

3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.

4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.

5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...

You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn

You've nailed it perfectly, Incandescent!

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.

Thou shalt not:

1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.

2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?

3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.

4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.

5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...

You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn

Though shalt read the damn profile!

Though shalt not ignore the profile completely and then persistently ask questions that are answered in the profile!

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not complain, whine, bitch and moan about it being rude if there's no reply to messages"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.

Thou shalt not:

1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.

2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?

3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.

4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.

5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...

You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn

Incandescent you naughty girl don't be so uptight babe hehehe, see my friends only pics to see my cock blasting a lucky lady

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By *urvyandCurious999Woman
over a year ago

Hiding from twats

Thou shalt not send vag pics to straight women.

Thou shalt not send first messages which begin with "do you like to deep throat until you puke", "come and sit on my face", etc.

Thou shalt not send the same copy and paste message to every woman local to you (especially if they have a face pic, but you didn't pay attention, and they know you and the wife you're cheating on - tut tut!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt not message first or have sex unless married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.

Thou shalt not:

1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.

2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?

3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.

4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.

5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...

You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn

Though shalt read the damn profile!

Though shalt not ignore the profile completely and then persistently ask questions that are answered in the profile! "

Yes, yes, yes!

Thou shalt not pretend you've read the profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not send vag pics to straight women.

Thou shalt not send first messages which begin with "do you like to deep throat until you puke", "come and sit on my face", etc.

Thou shalt not send a (tailored) copy n paste message without removing name of previous recipient

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shall not make up rules

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shall not ask if I've had "much luck" on fab !

Thou shall not ask if I ever use the strap on ! (I just wear it down the shops mostly, it's handy for handing the bags on )

Thou shall not tell me I'm "fit" (I'm not, if you see me running then I'm either about to miss a bus or the pubs closing)

Thou shall eat cake and plenty of it (jaffa cakes are not cakes).

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

Thou shalt not send a friend invite just to perv at friend only pics

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Thou shalt not :-

Admit there is a click within the forum page

Reply or talk to anyone outside the denied click

Not laugh at any sarcy, funny comment made by a non member of the non click

Be nice to anyone not involved in the so called click

Take a look at persons, not in the, I don’t know what yr talk about non click

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Thou shalt use clique not click

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Thou shalt not use, predictive txt and what are u doing breaking one of the commandments..

You’ll be thrown out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt not be up tight and needy on a site based around something as relaxing and exhilarating as sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/12/19 10:34:21]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not send vag pics to straight women.

Thou shalt not send first messages which begin with "do you like to deep throat until you puke", "come and sit on my face", etc.

Thou shalt not send a (tailored) copy n paste message without removing name of previous recipient

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

1) When measureing your manhood, thou shall use the imperial inch scale- not the fab inch scal, lynx can scale or sky remote scale. Thou shall also measure correctly, not from your arsehole.

2) Thou should not be good looking and miles away

3) Can't Accommodate & Can't travel with be met with great fury

4) Thou should not be attached and playing without consent- unless Bi, female, stunning and willing to meet the complainant

5) Thou should not be dyslexic, Use text speak, ALL CAPITALS, or miss the U out of colour (unless American- but even thats no excuse really)

6) Thou shal be struck down with great vengence and a plague at the mention of religion, politics, Brexit or Platinum Memberships

7) Holly Willabooby will be worshipped as the ultimate heavenly body

8) Thou should have a thick skin and no snowfalkery if posting in the forum- its not a nursery

9) upon posting a controversial comment, thou shou always follow it with the following emoji

10) thou should not set your age or sex filters to exclude me from contacting you- if i find you attractive. Commandments 2 & 3 also apply

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"1) When measureing your manhood, thou shall use the imperial inch scale- not the fab inch scal, lynx can scale or sky remote scale. Thou shall also measure correctly, not from your arsehole.