FabSwingers.com forum: Struggling a bit with Christmas

By *olly_chromatic OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Please don't take as a looking for sympathy thread. But i cannot be the only one who often finds Christmas to be a bit of an emotional and mental struggle. Only a few days to go and I haven't written a single card yet, i sometimes manage to force myself to do them just in time to miss the last posting date, but at least 5 of the last 10 years I've not been able to bring myself to do any.

I have to get presents for those people i hold dear in my heart, but haven't started looking yet, even trying to think about it seems difficult.

Once upon a time there was some magic to Christmas, now it just feels like hard work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a few ladies on fab can relate to this op.

The amount of status’s that are appearing that state how skint they are and need help because the kids will have a s**t Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Afternoon.

I feel the same this year. I’ve brought cards haven’t wrote them.

Don’t do presents anyway.

This will the first Xmas without my mum that passed away earlier in the year.

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By *piphoneMan
over a year ago

across the universe

They say it the most happeist time of the year.but not for some people

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I cant stand this time of the year. The whole December-February stretch is always depressing for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The pressure some people are PUT under i feel their pain . Do actually dislike this time of year , ie financially, emotionally, alcohol induced problems ( drink driving) not nice seeing the repercussions of above

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're not feeling it then don't do it. I don't write cards, I've bought virtually no presents, like 3-4 for the bare minimum of people. I don't have a proper tree, it's 3 inches high with 6 LED lights on it, no other decorations. I'll make an effort with nice food with my family but that's it.

I don't feel Christmassy but I'm not stressed about it.

It's for the kids really and since there's none around me I don't subscribe to it. My family are bringing all the family photos and we will have a lovely time going through them all together drinking bucks fizz and gin. There's other ways to make this holiday special.

Don't feel bad, next year you might go crazy and put a tree up in November and go party mad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Polly, I also struggle this time of year.

Apart from work I'm alone at Xmas. My son moved out 2 years ago and even before that he would spend the xmas period at his dads.

All it does is remind me how lonely I am.

Yes I have friends but shift work and feeling like I'm encroaching on "their family time" stops me reaching out.

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By *0FrankMan
over a year ago

The South!

My Dad passed away just over a year ago... Last year Christmas was setup... Opening presents from my mum and dad. It was a struggle to hold my shit together and frequently found myself crying over the smallest of things. I'm guessing this year will be the same. You know it's bad when when you cry at the end of an episode of The Toys That Made Us...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dislike this time of year a lot. I've stopped buying cards and presents and started making anonymous donations to local charities instead. I wish it would hurry up and pass already.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Please don't take as a looking for sympathy thread. But i cannot be the only one who often finds Christmas to be a bit of an emotional and mental struggle. Only a few days to go and I haven't written a single card yet, i sometimes manage to force myself to do them just in time to miss the last posting date, but at least 5 of the last 10 years I've not been able to bring myself to do any.

I have to get presents for those people i hold dear in my heart, but haven't started looking yet, even trying to think about it seems difficult.

Once upon a time there was some magic to Christmas, now it just feels like hard work.

Hi OP

We are not sending out xmas cards to anyone this year, instead we gave gifts to a local children's charity and cash to another charity.

We scaled back on buying gifts the past few years, we dont exchange gifts to each other and just make sure the children in our families have gifts, without spending ridiculous amounts.

Please dont let the pressures of xmas overwhelm you. The people that you hold dear to your heart will want to see you rather than any gifts you buy. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As mentioned above. If you can't do it, don't.

I'm not bothering with cards this year and the only people getting presents are the kids. If anyone has a problem with that, tough shit.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

This time of year is hard for an awful lot of people. It's a conversation that I've had a lot recently and I think there are many factors behind it.

Personally I think that the perfect picture being sold to us is awfully insidious and can be almost claustrophobic in terms of how Christmas should look or be. Ultimately though, it's what you make of it, as big or small as you want and there is no right way of doing it. I don't do cards, I make the effort of decorating and making a fuss just for my kids when I have them on boxing day.

People seem to hold so much stock in a folded piece of card and a piece of merchandise that will be forgotten after a week.

I'm not pouring scorn on or dismissing those that do enjoy Christmas, I'm simply trying to say that there are other ways of doing it (or not at all) and you're really not alone in wanting that.

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By *airytaleOfNewPorkMan
over a year ago

Close By

Reading some of these makes me more grateful for what I do have.

I hope that perhaps you're OK with just not doing some of the things that make you sad at this time of year, it's constantly rammed down our throats and I've spent many Christmas day nights on my own drinking, crying and wishing it would all just go away... I've learnt to cope better now and try to keep myself busier

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

For some reason some of the most traumatic experiences I have had always seemed to have happened at Christmas.

I have developed a dread of this time of year as it always brings back bad memories and makes me gloomy.

Can’t wait for Spring

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

You are not alone OP, i have seen a few comments spread over the forum about folk not looking forward to the Christmas period.

No stunning words of wisdom here, as we all deal with it in our own way, as beat we can, but keep in mind it’s such a short period of time and then we will be in January and can start looking forward.

Don’t feel pressured to conform to Society’s Chocolate Box Christmas ideal. Do what you have to do to get you through the festive period, and know that there ARE others out there who feel as you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh Polly, let’s sod the whole thing off and go and eat Japanese and cake. If that’s not possible, just do what you can sweetheart, it’s supposed to be ‘fun’. Sending hugs and much

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

I can relate to this. On my own over Christmas and the whole lead up to it isn’t a great time. But I do take positives that for kids and families it’s a great time of the year and I still wish the best for everyone. As for me, I’ve decided to ride it out and booked a few weeks in Australia with my fwb from the second week of January. Something to look forward to and not get my spirits down in the meantime. Just look for the positives amongst it and beyond it and it’s actually not that bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel your pain, lovely Polly

I know I live miles away, but Im always here if you need an ear to bend xx

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I don’t much care for Christmas either and yes, the December to February stretch is a difficult time of year. I feel as if I make an effort because everyone expects you to get wrapped up in the whole ‘ho ho ho’ thing....

It never has floated my boat.... I’m just grateful when it’s all over

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By *W_RedMan
over a year ago

Manchester

You definitely aren't the only one as this thread suggests. I've always had an on and off relationship with Christmas! This year I'm not particularly feeling it! But then next year I could be the complete opposite!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Xmas gets stolen by black Friday.

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

Christmas is really for the children. I haven't sent any cards and I don't buy pressies if you need something just buy it. I work most Christmas's anyway. I will sit alone all day and be bored lol

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By *ottielayWoman
over a year ago

by the bay

I haven’t enjoyed it for a few years now

I don’t mind Christmas Day and Boxing Day but not weeks and weeks of it x

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Chin chin polly. It’s that time of year where many get the blues. Don’t worry your not alone and you know we are always here for you or anyone

PS. Could I borrow your green dress. lol be a paddy’s day party to go to ?? Xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chin chin polly. It’s that time of year where many get the blues. Don’t worry your not alone and you know we are always here for you or anyone

PS. Could I borrow your green dress. lol be a paddy’s day party to go to ?? Xxxxx"

You are such a thief in the making...

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Considering it is the season to be jolly, there is a lot of sadness and depression surrounding christmas.

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