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Dating and single parents.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m focusing more on single mums as they tend to be the ones who the children reside with, it’s what I have personal experience with and I just feel like they have a harder time when it comes to being seen as dating material.

Like if there were two women with similar attributes yet one is single with no responsibilities able to work full time and therefore would have more money and a higher social status, then the other has a child and possibly has to work less hours and has all the responsibilities that go with being a parent. When it comes to picking someone to date, what would make you choose the single mum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m focusing more on single mums as they tend to be the ones who the children reside with, it’s what I have personal experience with and I just feel like they have a harder time when it comes to being seen as dating material.

Like if there were two women with similar attributes yet one is single with no responsibilities able to work full time and therefore would have more money and a higher social status, then the other has a child and possibly has to work less hours and has all the responsibilities that go with being a parent. When it comes to picking someone to date, what would make you choose the single mum?"

Chemistry? More attraction?

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"I’m focusing more on single mums as they tend to be the ones who the children reside with, it’s what I have personal experience with and I just feel like they have a harder time when it comes to being seen as dating material.

Like if there were two women with similar attributes yet one is single with no responsibilities able to work full time and therefore would have more money and a higher social status, then the other has a child and possibly has to work less hours and has all the responsibilities that go with being a parent. When it comes to picking someone to date, what would make you choose the single mum?"

In all honesty I’m not sure most guys would unless they were dads themselves - and therefore were looking for someone who understood that kids their were - and always would be - their priority!

I recently went out with a truly lovely guy - but he ended it abruptly when he realised that - in his own words - he could never do happy families!

Tbh I was pretty heartbroken and would think twice before dating a guy without kids again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly I will base my choice on how that person treat others (including her child) not on social status or anything else.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

For me, it's the person not the personal circumstances that dictate who I want to be with

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By *ottielayWoman
over a year ago

by the bay

I work full time but I’m not higher status than anyone else x

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By *.W CPLCouple
over a year ago

PRESTON

When I was a single dad I was regularly turned down by females but they knew about my kids it was always after we had slept together they were all like I can't do shake and bake family's can't tell if I was just shit in bed or I was just used for sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Not so much higher status, wrong words possibly. But from my own experience. Before I had my child I had a Nissan 350Z when they first came out, had expensive clothes and holidays and all that bollocks. Now I have a fiesta and will cut about in 90p flip flops from primark.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much higher status, wrong words possibly. But from my own experience. Before I had my child I had a Nissan 350Z when they first came out, had expensive clothes and holidays and all that bollocks. Now I have a fiesta and will cut about in 90p flip flops from primark. "

I love having sex in fiesta !

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By *ottielayWoman
over a year ago

by the bay


"Not so much higher status, wrong words possibly. But from my own experience. Before I had my child I had a Nissan 350Z when they first came out, had expensive clothes and holidays and all that bollocks. Now I have a fiesta and will cut about in 90p flip flops from primark. "

That’s all just stuff

You have your child now x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If I was dating and there was a choice of two guys where everything else was equal except one was a single parent and one wasn't, I'd go for the one who wasn't.

Nothing to do with status, money or anything like that but everything to do with responsibility, availability and call on his time.

But the older I grow the more pragmatic I become and the more likely I am to weigh up the pros and cons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work full time

I have a child

I’ve never had expensive cars, clothes

Just focused on being a nice human being

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I worked full time as I had no choice (amazing childminder), own house (huge mortgage), car. Recently re-married. It’s about chemistry

J x

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

It all depends on the person but someone with kids has a better understanding of the responsibilities of being a parent.

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By *rallyFixated1Man
over a year ago

tipton

My teenage daughter lives with me full time and I don’t think I’d get involved with a woman without kids. I don’t think she’d appreciate that she wasn’t my priority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy having children does not bother me. Always a good measure of a guy when you see how he conducts his affairs around Dad duties, kids come first as they should.

I dated a single Dad for a few years, I quite liked it and still pop in to see him and his Daughter, still take her out and buy her Birthday and Christmas presents, don't see why it should stop because we split up as we were close.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much higher status, wrong words possibly. But from my own experience. Before I had my child I had a Nissan 350Z when they first came out, had expensive clothes and holidays and all that bollocks. Now I have a fiesta and will cut about in 90p flip flops from primark. "

Yes but some of us would never consider a car or expensive clothes as a consideration of who we date. Maybe the fact that you seem to think it's important is the problem. Maybe you want men who want the trophy girlfriend and it's less about being a single mother than you think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some men are only too happy to take on a woman with children and sometimes they have their hearts torn out when the relationship is ended by the children's mother. My partner didn't meet my son until we'd been together over three years. I wouldn't bring anyone into his life until I knew for sure it was going to be long term. It's difficult because obviously you have to have a life and I'd never judge anyone, not my place to. I'm lucky enough that I've always had consistent child care, not everyone does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A guy having children does not bother me. Always a good measure of a guy when you see how he conducts his affairs around Dad duties, kids come first as they should.

I dated a single Dad for a few years, I quite liked it and still pop in to see him and his Daughter, still take her out and buy her Birthday and Christmas presents, don't see why it should stop because we split up as we were close."

I fell for my bf partly because of his absolute devotion to his kids. It just melted my heart.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent


"I’m focusing more on single mums as they tend to be the ones who the children reside with, it’s what I have personal experience with and I just feel like they have a harder time when it comes to being seen as dating material.

Like if there were two women with similar attributes yet one is single with no responsibilities able to work full time and therefore would have more money and a higher social status, then the other has a child and possibly has to work less hours and has all the responsibilities that go with being a parent. When it comes to picking someone to date, what would make you choose the single mum?

In all honesty I’m not sure most guys would unless they were dads themselves - and therefore were looking for someone who understood that kids their were - and always would be - their priority!

I recently went out with a truly lovely guy - but he ended it abruptly when he realised that - in his own words - he could never do happy families!

Tbh I was pretty heartbroken and would think twice before dating a guy without kids again! "

There are a lot of single guys who would love to form part of a happy family. Believe it or not, guys want to feel like they are a part of something just as much as ladies, they want to be loved and respected and desired and to feel wanted and like they belong somewhere, just like anyone else. You get to 40, single, with no girlfriend and no children... loneliness is very hard for guys, and they can’t just come on here and get 100 messages a day from women who want to sleep with them to get an ego boost and a sense of validation. Lots of my friends are in this situation and I’ve had lots of conversations about it. Try not to dismiss all guys because you had just one experience. No two women are the same... no two guys are either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care either way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a single Dad although I do share the care with their Mum and no drama at all. I do like to go on dates aswell as fab and the club's. I would never dismiss seeing someone with children although that would be something a while down the line meeting them. It's the children that get hurt

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

My ex (kids dad) found a woman who was prepared to take him on regardless of the fact he had a pregnant ex and a two year old. They are now married.

So albeit he doesn’t have the kids 24/7, he still sees them and she is a part of their life.

I’d like to think that if he found someone who cared about him enough to do all that, then there is hope for me.

I have two factors that go against me. I live with my mum who has health issues (and i help with the house, look after her when needed etc) and i have two children, one of whom has ASD and who is a little whirlwind. But i have dated. Albeit unsuccessfully!

I don’t think i could have a conventional relationship now. Time and Space would be needed on all parts because i am so spread between everyone that i crave peace and alone time to recharge otherwise i start to feel claustrophobic emotionally and it makes me push people away.

But i am hopeful that one day i’ll meet someone who likes me enough to take me on and who is accepting of my family life and it will all come together.

But if not, it’s not the end of the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" but he ended it abruptly when he realised that - in his own words - he could never do happy families!

Tbh I was pretty heartbroken and would think twice before dating a guy without kids again!

There are a lot of single guys who would love to form part of a happy family. Believe it or not, guys want to feel like they are a part of something just as much as ladies, they want to be loved and respected and desired and to feel wanted and like they belong somewhere, just like anyone else. You get to 40, single, with no girlfriend and no children... loneliness is very hard for guys, and they can’t just come on here and get 100 messages a day from women who want to sleep with them to get an ego boost and a sense of validation. Lots of my friends are in this situation and I’ve had lots of conversations about it. Try not to dismiss all guys because you had just one experience. No two women are the same... no two guys are either. "

You've said a lot of very perceptive stuff here. But if you think that unattractive, inarticulate men grunting at my breasts and talking to me as though I'm a free sex worker and abusing me when their ludicrous demands aren't met gives me an ego boost or makes me feel validated then please don't because it actually makes me feel the opposite. It makes me feel pretty damn shit if I'm honest. My friends and family make me feel validated. The crap on here can often make me feel more lonely, not less.

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By *il FiskMan
over a year ago

sefton

I'm a single parent with a young daughter living with me.

So anything I do will always come second to her and that includes relationships!

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"I’m focusing more on single mums as they tend to be the ones who the children reside with, it’s what I have personal experience with and I just feel like they have a harder time when it comes to being seen as dating material.

Like if there were two women with similar attributes yet one is single with no responsibilities able to work full time and therefore would have more money and a higher social status, then the other has a child and possibly has to work less hours and has all the responsibilities that go with being a parent. When it comes to picking someone to date, what would make you choose the single mum?

In all honesty I’m not sure most guys would unless they were dads themselves - and therefore were looking for someone who understood that kids their were - and always would be - their priority!

I recently went out with a truly lovely guy - but he ended it abruptly when he realised that - in his own words - he could never do happy families!

Tbh I was pretty heartbroken and would think twice before dating a guy without kids again!

There are a lot of single guys who would love to form part of a happy family. Believe it or not, guys want to feel like they are a part of something just as much as ladies, they want to be loved and respected and desired and to feel wanted and like they belong somewhere, just like anyone else. You get to 40, single, with no girlfriend and no children... loneliness is very hard for guys, and they can’t just come on here and get 100 messages a day from women who want to sleep with them to get an ego boost and a sense of validation. Lots of my friends are in this situation and I’ve had lots of conversations about it. Try not to dismiss all guys because you had just one experience. No two women are the same... no two guys are either. "

Thanks - I’ll try not to! The guy in question was over 40 but had a difficult childhood. Maybe that attributed to it - or maybe he just didn’t like me enough and was looking for a way out - I guess I’ll never know!

I’m a soft shite though - as soft as they come - and for my sake and my kids I’d like to reduce the chances of having my guts ripped out again!

I guess you’re right though - not all guys without kids will ultimately reject a woman with kids!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much higher status, wrong words possibly. But from my own experience. Before I had my child I had a Nissan 350Z when they first came out, had expensive clothes and holidays and all that bollocks. Now I have a fiesta and will cut about in 90p flip flops from primark. "

But that’s life’s progression. As you get older have children marry priorities change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hot one. Looks good to the mates, ego boost. She can sort the kids while the man goes out with his pals, then be on his arm when the kids are at their dad's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think I’m an easy person to date, I’m a single parent and both my sons have disabilities but my eldest needs 24 hour care and supervision. Makes my free time very complicated and rare, luckily my mr is very understanding and because of work and family commitments doesn’t have as much free time as he’d like, so between us we have our own homes and space to do that but also means we get better quality time as we don’t get bogged down with normal household things. As for financially, we’re miles apart. I’m a single parent on benefits living in a council house, he’s got multiple properties, a nice house, a few cars and works full time, I don’t think money came into it as we just liked each other. But I know single dads who also find dating tough. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The hot one. Looks good to the mates, ego boost. She can sort the kids while the man goes out with his pals, then be on his arm when the kids are at their dad's. "

I'll be stuffed then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The hot one. Looks good to the mates, ego boost. She can sort the kids while the man goes out with his pals, then be on his arm when the kids are at their dad's.

I'll be stuffed then. "

I just fuck them don't date them. Always after darkness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was dating and there was a choice of two guys where everything else was equal except one was a single parent and one wasn't, I'd go for the one who wasn't.

Nothing to do with status, money or anything like that but everything to do with responsibility, availability and call on his time.

But the older I grow the more pragmatic I become and the more likely I am to weigh up the pros and cons"

I'm the opposite. As a single mum I would love to meet a single Dad. I feel we'd be on a similar wavelength

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The hot one. Looks good to the mates, ego boost. She can sort the kids while the man goes out with his pals, then be on his arm when the kids are at their dad's.

I'll be stuffed then.

I just fuck them don't date them. Always after darkness. "

good plan

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By *ister KinkyMan
over a year ago

Sussex

I’m at that age now, where I’ve probably left it a little late to think of children of my own. So if everything else was completely equal I would have absolutely no problem dating a single mum at all. Naturally I’d understand that the kid had absolute priority in their life but would do my best to make it a complete family.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much higher status, wrong words possibly. But from my own experience. Before I had my child I had a Nissan 350Z when they first came out, had expensive clothes and holidays and all that bollocks. Now I have a fiesta and will cut about in 90p flip flops from primark. "

Ooh the flip flops done me phworrrrrrr lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am a full time working single mum - who thankfully has a very understanding playmate who will work round when i can meet etc. I was shit scared to tell him about being a single mum and lucky for me was very understanding. X

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Less likely to date a mum and i dont have kids myself. All the usual reasons but also essentially you will always come 2nd and that means doom really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Less likely to date a mum and i dont have kids myself. All the usual reasons but also essentially you will always come 2nd and that means doom really. "

It doesn't have to. But I think the fact some people choose not to have children should be respected more. If you don't want to do it then you shouldn't and you're entitled to find someone who feels the same.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It more my issue really. Like I feel like I don’t bring anything to the table and if someone was faced with a younger version with no responsibilities they’d take that option.

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By *r AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

Dublin


"I’m focusing more on single mums as they tend to be the ones who the children reside with, it’s what I have personal experience with and I just feel like they have a harder time when it comes to being seen as dating material.

Like if there were two women with similar attributes yet one is single with no responsibilities able to work full time and therefore would have more money and a higher social status, then the other has a child and possibly has to work less hours and has all the responsibilities that go with being a parent. When it comes to picking someone to date, what would make you choose the single mum?"
emmm excuse me missus

But I have my 2 pocket rockets stay with me every day I'm off which equates to 50% of the time and dating life was non existent, Which lead to stumbling onto here,

So it ain't just Single moms,

Us dad's work just as hard and still get what on with the dating scene,

I'd like to say that offended me but I'm not a snowflake,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It more my issue really. Like I feel like I don’t bring anything to the table and if someone was faced with a younger version with no responsibilities they’d take that option. "

My partner could have had that but he wanted me. Why would a man not feel like that about you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It more my issue really. Like I feel like I don’t bring anything to the table and if someone was faced with a younger version with no responsibilities they’d take that option.

My partner could have had that but he wanted me. Why would a man not feel like that about you? "

He’s hotter and younger than me!

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent


" but he ended it abruptly when he realised that - in his own words - he could never do happy families!

Tbh I was pretty heartbroken and would think twice before dating a guy without kids again!

There are a lot of single guys who would love to form part of a happy family. Believe it or not, guys want to feel like they are a part of something just as much as ladies, they want to be loved and respected and desired and to feel wanted and like they belong somewhere, just like anyone else. You get to 40, single, with no girlfriend and no children... loneliness is very hard for guys, and they can’t just come on here and get 100 messages a day from women who want to sleep with them to get an ego boost and a sense of validation. Lots of my friends are in this situation and I’ve had lots of conversations about it. Try not to dismiss all guys because you had just one experience. No two women are the same... no two guys are either.

You've said a lot of very perceptive stuff here. But if you think that unattractive, inarticulate men grunting at my breasts and talking to me as though I'm a free sex worker and abusing me when their ludicrous demands aren't met gives me an ego boost or makes me feel validated then please don't because it actually makes me feel the opposite. It makes me feel pretty damn shit if I'm honest. My friends and family make me feel validated. The crap on here can often make me feel more lonely, not less. "

I meant no offence. I’m not sure if you’ve associated a generalised statement with your specific experience. I’ve no doubt that what you say is completely correct - I’ve made enough friends here to know pretty much all single ladies share similar feelings. But your Fab experience must be more than just unwanted attention and abuse, otherwise why would you stay? Whilst you have friends and family who make you feel wanted in the real world, many other people do not. For most single ladies and perhaps even couples, some degree of validation can be found here if it’s wanted or needed - flattery, friendship, sex etc. (and I’m not suggesting validation or an ego boost is an antidote for loneliness). The same isn’t true for single guys, many of whom are entirely ignored and consistently rejected no matter how mature, courteous and patient they might be. The demographics of this place pretty much guarantees this. So Everybody’s experience is different, just as every person is different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I meant no offence. I’m not sure if you’ve associated a generalised statement with your specific experience. I’ve no doubt that what you say is completely correct - I’ve made enough friends here to know pretty much all single ladies share similar feelings. But your Fab experience must be more than just unwanted attention and abuse, otherwise why would you stay? Whilst you have friends and family who make you feel wanted in the real world, many other people do not. For most single ladies and perhaps even couples, some degree of validation can be found here if it’s wanted or needed - flattery, friendship, sex etc. (and I’m not suggesting validation or an ego boost is an antidote for loneliness). The same isn’t true for single guys, many of whom are entirely ignored and consistently rejected no matter how mature, courteous and patient they might be. The demographics of this place pretty much guarantees this. So Everybody’s experience is different, just as every person is different. "

I know you meant no offence and I wasn't offended. The rest of your post was spot on and I know very well that a lot of men are finding life extremely difficult on here and off and I don't feel good that one bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have dated single mothers in the past....

The only problems I have had are the weekends when she has had her child......

I would usually go out with my friends on those weekends and she would be stuck at home being a mom and doing mom things.....

Some women have made me feel guilty for going out when they are stuck at home....

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By * Star FilthMan
over a year ago

staplehurst


"I’m focusing more on single mums as they tend to be the ones who the children reside with, it’s what I have personal experience with and I just feel like they have a harder time when it comes to being seen as dating material.

Like if there were two women with similar attributes yet one is single with no responsibilities able to work full time and therefore would have more money and a higher social status, then the other has a child and possibly has to work less hours and has all the responsibilities that go with being a parent. When it comes to picking someone to date, what would make you choose the single mum?

In all honesty I’m not sure most guys would unless they were dads themselves - and therefore were looking for someone who understood that kids their were - and always would be - their priority!

I recently went out with a truly lovely guy - but he ended it abruptly when he realised that - in his own words - he could never do happy families!

Tbh I was pretty heartbroken and would think twice before dating a guy without kids again!

There are a lot of single guys who would love to form part of a happy family. Believe it or not, guys want to feel like they are a part of something just as much as ladies, they want to be loved and respected and desired and to feel wanted and like they belong somewhere, just like anyone else. You get to 40, single, with no girlfriend and no children... loneliness is very hard for guys, and they can’t just come on here and get 100 messages a day from women who want to sleep with them to get an ego boost and a sense of validation. Lots of my friends are in this situation and I’ve had lots of conversations about it. Try not to dismiss all guys because you had just one experience. No two women are the same... no two guys are either. "

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By * Star FilthMan
over a year ago

staplehurst


"It more my issue really. Like I feel like I don’t bring anything to the table and if someone was faced with a younger version with no responsibilities they’d take that option. "

Don't think like that because it isn't true, quite the opposite, you bring lots..

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"I work full time but I’m not higher status than anyone else x "

A job should not define you as a person. I know two doctors. One is a lovely person.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Not so much higher status, wrong words possibly. But from my own experience. Before I had my child I had a Nissan 350Z when they first came out, had expensive clothes and holidays and all that bollocks. Now I have a fiesta and will cut about in 90p flip flops from primark.

I love having sex in fiesta ! "

I lost my virginity in a vauxhall viva

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Some men are only too happy to take on a woman with children and sometimes they have their hearts torn out when the relationship is ended by the children's mother. My partner didn't meet my son until we'd been together over three years. I wouldn't bring anyone into his life until I knew for sure it was going to be long term. It's difficult because obviously you have to have a life and I'd never judge anyone, not my place to. I'm lucky enough that I've always had consistent child care, not everyone does. "

That is a lovely thing

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

OP. Think of it like this. If you meet the right person he will love you unconditionally.

That includes supporting your children emotionally and maybe financially. I hope you find the right one and like a previous poster, don't rush to let them meet your young ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dated one single mum with two kids I was 25 she was 31. She didn’t want me to be involved with her kids but they knew she was dating me. As a younger lad it was different like she had responsibilities so acted different to other girls I’ve dated but not in a bad way. I don’t really see it as a problem or let it bother me however she was worried about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m focusing more on single mums as they tend to be the ones who the children reside with, it’s what I have personal experience with and I just feel like they have a harder time when it comes to being seen as dating material.

Like if there were two women with similar attributes yet one is single with no responsibilities able to work full time and therefore would have more money and a higher social status, then the other has a child and possibly has to work less hours and has all the responsibilities that go with being a parent. When it comes to picking someone to date, what would make you choose the single mum?

In all honesty I’m not sure most guys would unless they were dads themselves - and therefore were looking for someone who understood that kids their were - and always would be - their priority!

I recently went out with a truly lovely guy - but he ended it abruptly when he realised that - in his own words - he could never do happy families!

Tbh I was pretty heartbroken and would think twice before dating a guy without kids again!

There are a lot of single guys who would love to form part of a happy family. Believe it or not, guys want to feel like they are a part of something just as much as ladies, they want to be loved and respected and desired and to feel wanted and like they belong somewhere, just like anyone else. You get to 40, single, with no girlfriend and no children... loneliness is very hard for guys, and they can’t just come on here and get 100 messages a day from women who want to sleep with them to get an ego boost and a sense of validation. Lots of my friends are in this situation and I’ve had lots of conversations about it. Try not to dismiss all guys because you had just one experience. No two women are the same... no two guys are either.

Thanks - I’ll try not to! The guy in question was over 40 but had a difficult childhood. Maybe that attributed to it - or maybe he just didn’t like me enough and was looking for a way out - I guess I’ll never know!

I’m a soft shite though - as soft as they come - and for my sake and my kids I’d like to reduce the chances of having my guts ripped out again!

I guess you’re right though - not all guys without kids will ultimately reject a woman with kids! "

This might be cheesy but I think your a stunner and reading your profile sounds like a you’ve a nice personality as well. I wouldn’t dismiss all men because some would take it all one no questions asked. But not having kids my self your quite right because I’ll never truly understand so I get why your weary of that.

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"I’m focusing more on single mums as they tend to be the ones who the children reside with, it’s what I have personal experience with and I just feel like they have a harder time when it comes to being seen as dating material.

Like if there were two women with similar attributes yet one is single with no responsibilities able to work full time and therefore would have more money and a higher social status, then the other has a child and possibly has to work less hours and has all the responsibilities that go with being a parent. When it comes to picking someone to date, what would make you choose the single mum?

In all honesty I’m not sure most guys would unless they were dads themselves - and therefore were looking for someone who understood that kids their were - and always would be - their priority!

I recently went out with a truly lovely guy - but he ended it abruptly when he realised that - in his own words - he could never do happy families!

Tbh I was pretty heartbroken and would think twice before dating a guy without kids again!

There are a lot of single guys who would love to form part of a happy family. Believe it or not, guys want to feel like they are a part of something just as much as ladies, they want to be loved and respected and desired and to feel wanted and like they belong somewhere, just like anyone else. You get to 40, single, with no girlfriend and no children... loneliness is very hard for guys, and they can’t just come on here and get 100 messages a day from women who want to sleep with them to get an ego boost and a sense of validation. Lots of my friends are in this situation and I’ve had lots of conversations about it. Try not to dismiss all guys because you had just one experience. No two women are the same... no two guys are either.

Thanks - I’ll try not to! The guy in question was over 40 but had a difficult childhood. Maybe that attributed to it - or maybe he just didn’t like me enough and was looking for a way out - I guess I’ll never know!

I’m a soft shite though - as soft as they come - and for my sake and my kids I’d like to reduce the chances of having my guts ripped out again!

I guess you’re right though - not all guys without kids will ultimately reject a woman with kids!

This might be cheesy but I think your a stunner and reading your profile sounds like a you’ve a nice personality as well. I wouldn’t dismiss all men because some would take it all one no questions asked. But not having kids my self your quite right because I’ll never truly understand so I get why your weary of that."

Thanks - that’s a nice thing to say!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m focusing more on single mums as they tend to be the ones who the children reside with, it’s what I have personal experience with and I just feel like they have a harder time when it comes to being seen as dating material.

Like if there were two women with similar attributes yet one is single with no responsibilities able to work full time and therefore would have more money and a higher social status, then the other has a child and possibly has to work less hours and has all the responsibilities that go with being a parent. When it comes to picking someone to date, what would make you choose the single mum?"

I would definitely pick the latter anyday! I adore single moms as I rate them above senior executives in an MNC! I would learn a lot more from them than the former!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was dating and there was a choice of two guys where everything else was equal except one was a single parent and one wasn't, I'd go for the one who wasn't.

Nothing to do with status, money or anything like that but everything to do with responsibility, availability and call on his time.

But the older I grow the more pragmatic I become and the more likely I am to weigh up the pros and cons

I'm the opposite. As a single mum I would love to meet a single Dad. I feel we'd be on a similar wavelength "

Hello there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My ex (kids dad) found a woman who was prepared to take him on regardless of the fact he had a pregnant ex and a two year old. They are now married.

So albeit he doesn’t have the kids 24/7, he still sees them and she is a part of their life.

I’d like to think that if he found someone who cared about him enough to do all that, then there is hope for me.

I have two factors that go against me. I live with my mum who has health issues (and i help with the house, look after her when needed etc) and i have two children, one of whom has ASD and who is a little whirlwind. But i have dated. Albeit unsuccessfully!

I don’t think i could have a conventional relationship now. Time and Space would be needed on all parts because i am so spread between everyone that i crave peace and alone time to recharge otherwise i start to feel claustrophobic emotionally and it makes me push people away.

But i am hopeful that one day i’ll meet someone who likes me enough to take me on and who is accepting of my family life and it will all come together.

But if not, it’s not the end of the world. "

Awww! That did make me sad. I am sure you will find someone who will adore you and accept you as you are. Keep strong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never date someone with kids.

If 2 men were in from of me both perfect I'd pick the one eoyjout children.

I'm too used to doing things at the drop of hat and not having to take others/things into consideration to make that sacrifice for someone elses child

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By *hy_bangor_bi-girlWoman
over a year ago

Bangor

Surely it all depends on the chemistry between you and both people?

I understand having kids is a factor for some with regards to free time and for some sharing time but whatever makes you happy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had 7 meets on my previous account. All of them were women with kids. I relate to them better I guess.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"My ex (kids dad) found a woman who was prepared to take him on regardless of the fact he had a pregnant ex and a two year old. They are now married.

So albeit he doesn’t have the kids 24/7, he still sees them and she is a part of their life.

I’d like to think that if he found someone who cared about him enough to do all that, then there is hope for me.

I have two factors that go against me. I live with my mum who has health issues (and i help with the house, look after her when needed etc) and i have two children, one of whom has ASD and who is a little whirlwind. But i have dated. Albeit unsuccessfully!

I don’t think i could have a conventional relationship now. Time and Space would be needed on all parts because i am so spread between everyone that i crave peace and alone time to recharge otherwise i start to feel claustrophobic emotionally and it makes me push people away.

But i am hopeful that one day i’ll meet someone who likes me enough to take me on and who is accepting of my family life and it will all come together.

But if not, it’s not the end of the world. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did single parenting without dating so after 27 years I'm about to get me time back!! Wooohooooooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much higher status, wrong words possibly. But from my own experience. Before I had my child I had a Nissan 350Z when they first came out, had expensive clothes and holidays and all that bollocks. Now I have a fiesta and will cut about in 90p flip flops from primark. "

I personally would be more about the chemistry , being a single parent wouldn't put me off in the slightest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I did single parenting without dating so after 27 years I'm about to get me time back!! Wooohooooooo "

How do I go about applying?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work full time, have 3 children however have 50/50 custody with their amazing dad. I still found when I could be arsed to date that this put a lot of guys off. I gave up in the end and joined FAB!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work full time, have 3 children however have 50/50 custody with their amazing dad. I still found when I could be arsed to date that this put a lot of guys off. I gave up in the end and joined FAB! "

Till you found me. And we lived happily ever after!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women with the kids all day long. I'm a father and get to see my son quiet a lot. Part of my life and gives me purpose. I'd want someone to be able to related to that so a single mother would be my preference. It enhances what you can do rather than limits it. Status wealth or what they have doesn't even come in to. Far more important factors such as a nice human being. A great mother. Great friends family. Good laugh. Oh and clearly a sexual attraction too. No define list. I guess you just know when its right x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women with the kids all day long. I'm a father and get to see my son quiet a lot. Part of my life and gives me purpose. I'd want someone to be able to related to that so a single mother would be my preference. It enhances what you can do rather than limits it. Status wealth or what they have doesn't even come in to. Far more important factors such as a nice human being. A great mother. Great friends family. Good laugh. Oh and clearly a sexual attraction too. No define list. I guess you just know when its right x"

My partner has been a massive support to me and definitely made me a better parent. Having someone whose raised three boys to go to for advice has been a godsend. Now he's a granddad too and his joy just melts my heart.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea


"I’m focusing more on single mums as they tend to be the ones who the children reside with, it’s what I have personal experience with and I just feel like they have a harder time when it comes to being seen as dating material.

Like if there were two women with similar attributes yet one is single with no responsibilities able to work full time and therefore would have more money and a higher social status, then the other has a child and possibly has to work less hours and has all the responsibilities that go with being a parent. When it comes to picking someone to date, what would make you choose the single mum?"

how would anyone be able to tell them apart just by meeting or looking at them if the mum don't say anything about her kids and as the mum is out dateing she probably won't have her kids with her at the time ?

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By *ocodoughnutgirlWoman
over a year ago

Sea of jelly and doughnuts

All the way through my twenties I dated single dads or guys who had children didn't make any difference to me what so ever...

Now being a single parent myself and being older with a four year old, its been difficult to find a guy who understands that my time is limited.

Not only that, I run my own business so between that and motherhood I did for a long time just didn't bother to even think about dating.

On the positive though I've met a lovely guy here who is also a single parent. We both understand the kids come first and if arrangements need to be cancelled there isn't a problem with feeling like the other is coming up second or being left out.

To all you single parents, you are amazing, you are worthy, you are doing a fantastic job and you deserve happiness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the availability of a single parent is the only thing someone would perhaps question.

I say this being a single parent myself.

Don’t care about cars and stuff. It took me a lot to get my kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree 100% on this could be any circumstance but if theres chemistry there you look past it! Your not dating the family at the end of the day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its all about TIME and energy. A mother has less of it for obvious reasons.

As a single guy some of the things I do require a lot of energy and time. I wont date anyone who isn't capable of the same thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the availability of a single parent is the only thing someone would perhaps question.

I say this being a single parent myself.

Don’t care about cars and stuff. It took me a lot to get my kids. "

I would never hold it against anyone for been a single parent .I am too so my time is very limited as a parent as I share the care with their Mum. It's difficult as I have female friends that are on opesite weekends to me in the club's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the availability of a single parent is the only thing someone would perhaps question.

I say this being a single parent myself.

Don’t care about cars and stuff. It took me a lot to get my kids.

I would never hold it against anyone for been a single parent .I am too so my time is very limited as a parent as I share the care with their Mum. It's difficult as I have female friends that are on opesite weekends to me in the club's. "

I actually have a lot more freedom than most single mums do. I’m finding it a case of my free time not being matched as they have their own commitments/kids. Sometimes the alternate weekends suck, I feel you on that one.

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By *iverscuMan
over a year ago

Berkshire

Personality. 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single mum and live rural. Difficult to meet. Time.. Travelling costs.. Out of a budget is hard. Yet can't meet at my home either..

Well forums it is then x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Single mum and live rural. Difficult to meet. Time.. Travelling costs.. Out of a budget is hard. Yet can't meet at my home either..

Well forums it is then x"

Taxi to wherever you are please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My ex (kids dad) found a woman who was prepared to take him on regardless of the fact he had a pregnant ex and a two year old. They are now married.

So albeit he doesn’t have the kids 24/7, he still sees them and she is a part of their life.

I’d like to think that if he found someone who cared about him enough to do all that, then there is hope for me.

I have two factors that go against me. I live with my mum who has health issues (and i help with the house, look after her when needed etc) and i have two children, one of whom has ASD and who is a little whirlwind. But i have dated. Albeit unsuccessfully!

I don’t think i could have a conventional relationship now. Time and Space would be needed on all parts because i am so spread between everyone that i crave peace and alone time to recharge otherwise i start to feel claustrophobic emotionally and it makes me push people away.

But i am hopeful that one day i’ll meet someone who likes me enough to take me on and who is accepting of my family life and it will all come together.

But if not, it’s not the end of the world. "

Well beautiful I am sure you will you look amazing xx I will always never judge a individual by there life or any body in it it about have a flexibility and acceptance I have ASD (asbergys syndrome) I not as lucky on here xxx

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