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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So here is a question.

I’m fine when it comes to NSA because if I know that’s what it is (like meets on here) then I don’t expect anything more and enjoy it for what it is.

Dating is a different ball game, I tend to meet guys who come on really strong and we date, they’re very complimentary, take down their dating profiles but once we sleep together (usually 4/5 dates in) then they change... either nothing or the messages stop being sexual and just boring “how are you” till it fizzles out.

Without blowing my own trumpet I know I’m not shit in bed although I appreciate we all like different things. My female friend gave me some advice tonight and said why don’t I try next time I sleep with a guy being really passive and shy as an experiment to see if that works as she reckons women who are really confident in bed scare off blokes......

So men honest answers please , what are your thoughts?? X

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm not a man sorry but as a woman why would you pretend to be different to how you really are in order to make a man like you more?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you need to pretend to be someone else to keep their attention they arnt right for you

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By *racy_JacksWoman
over a year ago

Derby

IF this is the case, is a guy who gets scared off by a woman who is confident in bed a guy that you actually want to be dating?

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"So here is a question.

I’m fine when it comes to NSA because if I know that’s what it is (like meets on here) then I don’t expect anything more and enjoy it for what it is.

Dating is a different ball game, I tend to meet guys who come on really strong and we date, they’re very complimentary, take down their dating profiles but once we sleep together (usually 4/5 dates in) then they change... either nothing or the messages stop being sexual and just boring “how are you” till it fizzles out.

Without blowing my own trumpet I know I’m not shit in bed although I appreciate we all like different things. My female friend gave me some advice tonight and said why don’t I try next time I sleep with a guy being really passive and shy as an experiment to see if that works as she reckons women who are really confident in bed scare off blokes......

So men honest answers please , what are your thoughts?? X "

Be yourself, why be passive shy? Female friend has given the wrong advice to you honey.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Is it that they are scared of your confidence or just that they enjoyed the chase, bagged the shag and move on to the next conquest?

A couple of men I know would struggle to get a meet on here (one even tried) but is in high demand on dating sites. Neither particularly want a relationship but they enjoy the dating and chase, have sex and then move on before it gets serious.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Is it that they are scared of your confidence or just that they enjoyed the chase, bagged the shag and move on to the next conquest?

A couple of men I know would struggle to get a meet on here (one even tried) but is in high demand on dating sites. Neither particularly want a relationship but they enjoy the dating and chase, have sex and then move on before it gets serious.

"

I think most blokes are like that on dating sites....in my experience!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most guys on dating sites are usually fuck boys who just want the feel of the hunt and the power of being able to bed anyone but then when it comes to commitment have no interest

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm jolly glad I don't have to use dating sites. . When I was dating we knew the guys who were interested in dating and the ones who weren't and (except for the women who thought they could change them) didn't go out with them unless we wanted similar. I suppose dating sites have made it possible to cast your net wider.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

try matthew hussey website

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm fucked then, and not in the good way, if I ever grow up and decide to date. I know what I want and what I like in the bedroom, and out. Some guys like confident women. Don't change who you are OP for anyone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I genuinely believe that a guy will know from the start if he wants a relationship with you or not. I don’t think any amount of acting a certain way will sway a mans decision. He’s either at a point in his life where he wants one or he’s not. Some behaviours can put guys off but they generally know from the off whether you’re girlfriend or fuck material.

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By *rallyFixated1Man
over a year ago

tipton

Passive and shy would make me lose interest pretty quick. Be yourself always, if they don’t appreciate that give them a swerve

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the comments, I completely agree about not wanting to be with someone if they don’t like the real me, and meeting people on dating sites is a minefield.

I think where she was coming from was that she’d read an article that if someone isn’t giving you eye contact then you try harder to get it, so if someone gives you eye contact you know you’ve got it ( if that makes sense) all to do with the chase. Maybe I just need to change the type of guys I date! X

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By *uteLittleGeekWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere


"If you need to pretend to be someone else to keep their attention they arnt right for you"

That’s so true . Just be yourself and the right guy will find you .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/12/19 21:31:04]

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Thanks for the comments, I completely agree about not wanting to be with someone if they don’t like the real me, and meeting people on dating sites is a minefield.

I think where she was coming from was that she’d read an article that if someone isn’t giving you eye contact then you try harder to get it, so if someone gives you eye contact you know you’ve got it ( if that makes sense) all to do with the chase. Maybe I just need to change the type of guys I date! X "

I have come to realise that if I keep experiencing similar things I am the common denominator. I can't change them but I can change me and what I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the comments, I completely agree about not wanting to be with someone if they don’t like the real me, and meeting people on dating sites is a minefield.

I think where she was coming from was that she’d read an article that if someone isn’t giving you eye contact then you try harder to get it, so if someone gives you eye contact you know you’ve got it ( if that makes sense) all to do with the chase. Maybe I just need to change the type of guys I date! X

I have come to realise that if I keep experiencing similar things I am the common denominator. I can't change them but I can change me and what I do.

"

I stopped looking for love on here and found it in the real world!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"So here is a question.

I’m fine when it comes to NSA because if I know that’s what it is (like meets on here) then I don’t expect anything more and enjoy it for what it is.

Dating is a different ball game, I tend to meet guys who come on really strong and we date, they’re very complimentary, take down their dating profiles but once we sleep together (usually 4/5 dates in) then they change... either nothing or the messages stop being sexual and just boring “how are you” till it fizzles out.

Without blowing my own trumpet I know I’m not shit in bed although I appreciate we all like different things. My female friend gave me some advice tonight and said why don’t I try next time I sleep with a guy being really passive and shy as an experiment to see if that works as she reckons women who are really confident in bed scare off blokes......

So men honest answers please , what are your thoughts?? X "

Ask yourself the question, do you really want to be with a guy in a relationship and have to be passive in bed when you like to be confident ?

It's got disaster written all over it if you ask me.

Be you and the right guy will love you for it.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Thanks for the comments, I completely agree about not wanting to be with someone if they don’t like the real me, and meeting people on dating sites is a minefield.

I think where she was coming from was that she’d read an article that if someone isn’t giving you eye contact then you try harder to get it, so if someone gives you eye contact you know you’ve got it ( if that makes sense) all to do with the chase. Maybe I just need to change the type of guys I date! X

I have come to realise that if I keep experiencing similar things I am the common denominator. I can't change them but I can change me and what I do.

I stopped looking for love on here and found it in the real world!"

As I always thought you would. From your other post, it appears you also dropped your very exacting requirements and then found them by not demanding and expecting them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the comments, I completely agree about not wanting to be with someone if they don’t like the real me, and meeting people on dating sites is a minefield.

I think where she was coming from was that she’d read an article that if someone isn’t giving you eye contact then you try harder to get it, so if someone gives you eye contact you know you’ve got it ( if that makes sense) all to do with the chase. Maybe I just need to change the type of guys I date! X

I have come to realise that if I keep experiencing similar things I am the common denominator. I can't change them but I can change me and what I do.

I stopped looking for love on here and found it in the real world!

As I always thought you would. From your other post, it appears you also dropped your very exacting requirements and then found them by not demanding and expecting them.

"

He’s not over 6 foot. He’s blonde when I used to say “has to have dark hair” he’s still gorgeous but yeah the dick thing was a really pleasant surprise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So here is a question.

I’m fine when it comes to NSA because if I know that’s what it is (like meets on here) then I don’t expect anything more and enjoy it for what it is.

Dating is a different ball game, I tend to meet guys who come on really strong and we date, they’re very complimentary, take down their dating profiles but once we sleep together (usually 4/5 dates in) then they change... either nothing or the messages stop being sexual and just boring “how are you” till it fizzles out.

Without blowing my own trumpet I know I’m not shit in bed although I appreciate we all like different things. My female friend gave me some advice tonight and said why don’t I try next time I sleep with a guy being really passive and shy as an experiment to see if that works as she reckons women who are really confident in bed scare off blokes......

So men honest answers please , what are your thoughts?? X "
I'm fine with a woman being confident about sex and i can chat for England but as a rule i dont have a need to chat about sex outside of having sex but my conversation is never boring

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks for the comments, I completely agree about not wanting to be with someone if they don’t like the real me, and meeting people on dating sites is a minefield.

I think where she was coming from was that she’d read an article that if someone isn’t giving you eye contact then you try harder to get it, so if someone gives you eye contact you know you’ve got it ( if that makes sense) all to do with the chase. Maybe I just need to change the type of guys I date! X "

Could be. It does seem an obvious answer really, if the men you're dating aren't what you're after.

I think it helps if you stop treating it like a game or something that needs certain strategies in order to succeed and just go with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best advice I got was from a friend recently, she said to stop analysing why other people do what they do, and start working out why I keep being attracted to the same type of guy.

Changed my perspective, and now I’m getting a cat.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights


"Is it that they are scared of your confidence or just that they enjoyed the chase, bagged the shag and move on to the next conquest?

A couple of men I know would struggle to get a meet on here (one even tried) but is in high demand on dating sites. Neither particularly want a relationship but they enjoy the dating and chase, have sex and then move on before it gets serious.

I think most blokes are like that on dating sites....in my experience! "

That was my experience as well, fab dating is much more fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The best advice I got was from a friend recently, she said to stop analysing why other people do what they do, and start working out why I keep being attracted to the same type of guy.

Changed my perspective, and now I’m getting a cat. "
lol

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Thanks for the comments, I completely agree about not wanting to be with someone if they don’t like the real me, and meeting people on dating sites is a minefield.

I think where she was coming from was that she’d read an article that if someone isn’t giving you eye contact then you try harder to get it, so if someone gives you eye contact you know you’ve got it ( if that makes sense) all to do with the chase. Maybe I just need to change the type of guys I date! X

I have come to realise that if I keep experiencing similar things I am the common denominator. I can't change them but I can change me and what I do.

I stopped looking for love on here and found it in the real world!

As I always thought you would. From your other post, it appears you also dropped your very exacting requirements and then found them by not demanding and expecting them.

He’s not over 6 foot. He’s blonde when I used to say “has to have dark hair” he’s still gorgeous but yeah the dick thing was a really pleasant surprise!"

You were always limiting your options. I took that to mean you knew, deep down somewhere, you weren't really ready.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"Is it that they are scared of your confidence or just that they enjoyed the chase, bagged the shag and move on to the next conquest?

A couple of men I know would struggle to get a meet on here (one even tried) but is in high demand on dating sites. Neither particularly want a relationship but they enjoy the dating and chase, have sex and then move on before it gets serious.

"

This is absolutely spot on. It's as if they have an over night personality transplant. It's not you it happens to us all.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton


"So here is a question.

I’m fine when it comes to NSA because if I know that’s what it is (like meets on here) then I don’t expect anything more and enjoy it for what it is.

Dating is a different ball game, I tend to meet guys who come on really strong and we date, they’re very complimentary, take down their dating profiles but once we sleep together (usually 4/5 dates in) then they change... either nothing or the messages stop being sexual and just boring “how are you” till it fizzles out.

Without blowing my own trumpet I know I’m not shit in bed although I appreciate we all like different things. My female friend gave me some advice tonight and said why don’t I try next time I sleep with a guy being really passive and shy as an experiment to see if that works as she reckons women who are really confident in bed scare off blokes......

So men honest answers please , what are your thoughts?? X "

Surely first to the fifth date can still be early depending on the time between but that aside. You should not expect anything more from a date either or else you will be disappointed, enjoy the date for the moment. Are you telling me guys you are meeting for NSA are not complimentary?

Don't take your girlfriends dating advice be you, they are not the one going out with the guys or sleeping with them.

Showing interest is a two-way thing no need to be playing games, sending a sexual message to women can be complicated you have to read her will.

If you want something send first and see what happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally disagree with this.

Although I am submissive I know what I want in the bedroom and I'm not afraid to ask for it. I'm adventurous and often bring in new ideas with all partners I've had yet I've never struggled on the relationship side.

When I met beast I certainly didn't think we would be where we are at now.

I don't think it's down to sex but other compatibilities

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I had a quick foray into the dating site section 2 years ago, I met a guy twice, never got to the bedroom stage, but he certainly made it quite clear that he couldn't handle a strong confident woman!

He lied 3 times about his age and tried to enforce his 'help' on me (which was far too much in my opinion) when I denied it, he became all defensive and blocked me lol

I can't change who I am, nor will I ever pretend either, seems I will be eternally single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m jealous, I overthink and over analyse everything. I kick off and go absolutely mental and say some vile things, yet someone took me on! They just needed to be a strong enough character to see why I acted like that at the start, gave reassurance and also wasn’t afraid to tell me to fuck up when I was being a dick.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton


"The best advice I got was from a friend recently, she said to stop analysing why other people do what they do, and start working out why I keep being attracted to the same type of guy.

Changed my perspective, and now I’m getting a cat. "

The thing is most women do not have problem dating. They sift out men.

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By *drian HardthrobMan
over a year ago

Worcester


"So here is a question.

I’m fine when it comes to NSA because if I know that’s what it is (like meets on here) then I don’t expect anything more and enjoy it for what it is.

Dating is a different ball game, I tend to meet guys who come on really strong and we date, they’re very complimentary, take down their dating profiles but once we sleep together (usually 4/5 dates in) then they change... either nothing or the messages stop being sexual and just boring “how are you” till it fizzles out.

Without blowing my own trumpet I know I’m not shit in bed although I appreciate we all like different things. My female friend gave me some advice tonight and said why don’t I try next time I sleep with a guy being really passive and shy as an experiment to see if that works as she reckons women who are really confident in bed scare off blokes......

So men honest answers please , what are your thoughts?? X "

Hell no! I absolutely love a woman with confidence, it's unbelievably sexy to know that she can handle herself in and out of the bedroom. I wouldn't recommend being passive if that's not who you are.

It sounds like you might be attracting guys with an avoidant attachment style, if you want them to stick around you'll need to go cold when they're coming on strong, but obviously you'll then fall into game playing.

Honestly just be you! You're gonna be too much for some and not enough for others but eventually you'll find someone who holds all the attributes you're looking for

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By *racy_JacksWoman
over a year ago

Derby


"

I think where she was coming from was that she’d read an article that if someone isn’t giving you eye contact then you try harder to get it, so if someone gives you eye contact you know you’ve got it ( if that makes sense) all to do with the chase. Maybe I just need to change the type of guys I date! X "

These kinds of articles are generally bullshit and not based on any empirical evidence, just abstract and usually inaccurate ideas about how men and women typically interact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So here is a question.

I’m fine when it comes to NSA because if I know that’s what it is (like meets on here) then I don’t expect anything more and enjoy it for what it is.

Dating is a different ball game, I tend to meet guys who come on really strong and we date, they’re very complimentary, take down their dating profiles but once we sleep together (usually 4/5 dates in) then they change... either nothing or the messages stop being sexual and just boring “how are you” till it fizzles out.

Without blowing my own trumpet I know I’m not shit in bed although I appreciate we all like different things. My female friend gave me some advice tonight and said why don’t I try next time I sleep with a guy being really passive and shy as an experiment to see if that works as she reckons women who are really confident in bed scare off blokes......

So men honest answers please , what are your thoughts?? X "

It all comes down to the connection and trust between both parties. If there is no connection or chemistry, the relationship will die eventually!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m going to be brutally honest in this post...

So please forgive me if I offend anyone......

If you’re losing guys after you have sex with them.... there is something about you that is turning these men off .... it can be something like you snoring or grinding your teeth when you sleep or it can be your hygiene isn’t up to their standards....

I find sex to be the easiest part of a relationship, the day to day communication and finding time for each other tends to be the hardest part...

If you’re making it to 4-5 dates with men your communication skills are great and they enjoy your company...

So maybe after you have sex with these guys you might start acting like you’re in a relationship , and they get scared off....

I would suggest just keep doing what you’re doing before you have sex with these guys , but communicate differently with them after you have sex....

Good luck

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