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Auntie Ps advice line

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes my dears, I have the day off work today and you know what that means.... I have time to problem solve for you.

What's grinding your gears?

What's bending your ears?

Who's making you want to give them a high 5 to the face with a pair of garden shears?

Problem shared is a problem halved and my advice will in no way whatsoever make your problems worse. I "promise"

*crosses fingers behind back*

Hit me schookums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once had a threesome in a hospital with a nurse and a woman who was waiting for her husband to get of surgery.

Its not a problem, just wanted everyone to know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm feeling really under the weather today, but supposed to be going to have a (long over due) catch up with the bestie and his hubby later.

Dont want to let them down, but also feel like crap

What do I do?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I once had a threesome in a hospital with a nurse and a woman who was waiting for her husband to get of surgery.

Its not a problem, just wanted everyone to know"

Schlaaaaaaaaaag

Best game of conkers you ever played

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Auntie. Jesus where you been

Now where do I start

O yes

I was shopping in the high street the other day and the man in the ladies underwear shop said I wasn’t allowed in anymore He said I had raised concerns and that the staff were fed up having to clean the changing rooms and fixing the holes in the walls

My question. Where should I go now

Thanks ever faithfully yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once had a threesome in a hospital with a nurse and a woman who was waiting for her husband to get of surgery.

Its not a problem, just wanted everyone to know

Schlaaaaaaaaaag

Best game of conkers you ever played "

Tasty kidney wife was amazing. Really wish I got her name

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm feeling really under the weather today, but supposed to be going to have a (long over due) catch up with the bestie and his hubby later.

Dont want to let them down, but also feel like crap

What do I do?! "

Get them to come to you and bring you chocolate, ice cream and a warm fluffy blanket.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Currently I'm twiddling my thumbs because I'm waiting on a delivery so I can get on with my baking... On the plus side, it's given me some downtime to visit the forums for the first time in weeks, but it does mean I'll be flat out later trying to catch up on everything else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What should I have for my dinner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm feeling really under the weather today, but supposed to be going to have a (long over due) catch up with the bestie and his hubby later.

Dont want to let them down, but also feel like crap

What do I do?!

Get them to come to you and bring you chocolate, ice cream and a warm fluffy blanket.

"

Thank you auntie P! Will put it forward to them

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Was watching Jo Swinson the other day Auntie P. She's quite a voluptuous buxom young lady. But it has give me a bit of a dilema. I don't know who to vote for in the election now. Do i vote for the tits? or do i vote Liberal ?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Dear Auntie P

A chest infection means I might not be able to attend the MLS and see my penis sister. How do I get better over night?

Regards

Coughingupherlungs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie. Jesus where you been

Now where do I start

O yes

I was shopping in the high street the other day and the man in the ladies underwear shop said I wasn’t allowed in anymore He said I had raised concerns and that the staff were fed up having to clean the changing rooms and fixing the holes in the walls

My question. Where should I go now

Thanks ever faithfully yours "

First up you write them a strongly worded email explaining how the customer is ALWAYS right and how the business should appreciate your custom, how if you don't receive gift vouchers for the inconvenience you'll spread it all over facefuck and tripteller how badly you've been treated, everyone knows this especially customers who are wankers and don't know how to behave appropriately.

Where to go? That's the easy part..... swimming pool. Think how many pairs of undercrackers are unattended at any moment. Skeleton key for the lockers and you're well away

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Currently I'm twiddling my thumbs because I'm waiting on a delivery so I can get on with my baking... On the plus side, it's given me some downtime to visit the forums for the first time in weeks, but it does mean I'll be flat out later trying to catch up on everything else "

Forums.... the slippery road to time loss.

Eat a carrot and pretend you're murdering Kevin, the one people love off the Aldi advert.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What should I have for my dinner?"

Fava beans and a nice chianti

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What should I have for my dinner?

Fava beans and a nice chianti "

You just want me to lick your liver don't you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to the office Christmas lunch at 2 o'clock. Should I behave or flirt with the younger woman who is in the habit of pressing her thigh against my shoulder when she consults me at my desk?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Was watching Jo Swinson the other day Auntie P. She's quite a voluptuous buxom young lady. But it has give me a bit of a dilema. I don't know who to vote for in the election now. Do i vote for the tits? or do i vote Liberal ?"

You get off this bastard thread with the word vote, unless it's for me for my selfless work within the community.

Aka giving people advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dear Auntie P

A chest infection means I might not be able to attend the MLS and see my penis sister. How do I get better over night?

Regards

Coughingupherlungs

"

Actual infection? Trip to the quacks for meds. Drip feed them into ya and kick that cunt in the fandango. How dare it encompass your breathing apparatus!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What should I have for my dinner?

Fava beans and a nice chianti

You just want me to lick your liver don't you "

Now you mention it...

Can you give me a fat sucker outer before you stitch me back up tho. Exercise seems effort to reduce my waistline

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock


"Was watching Jo Swinson the other day Auntie P. She's quite a voluptuous buxom young lady. But it has give me a bit of a dilema. I don't know who to vote for in the election now. Do i vote for the tits? or do i vote Liberal ?

You get off this bastard thread with the word vote, unless it's for me for my selfless work within the community.

Aka giving people advice "

oops forbidden word

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm going to the office Christmas lunch at 2 o'clock. Should I behave or flirt with the younger woman who is in the habit of pressing her thigh against my shoulder when she consults me at my desk?"

Flirt. You might end up boning her or wearing the lunch. Either way it'll give the gossips summat to chew on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm going to the office Christmas lunch at 2 o'clock. Should I behave or flirt with the younger woman who is in the habit of pressing her thigh against my shoulder when she consults me at my desk?

Flirt. You might end up boning her or wearing the lunch. Either way it'll give the gossips summat to chew on "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Wondering if Juicy has been arrested at the local swimming pool.

Arnold Layne, had a strange hobby

Collecting clothes

Moonshine washing liiiiiine

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Advice line cancelled, as is my day off. Some fuckwit called in sick....

Ah well, catch ya later jacket tater

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

No point saying my problem then .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm going to the office Christmas lunch at 2 o'clock. Should I behave or flirt with the younger woman who is in the habit of pressing her thigh against my shoulder when she consults me at my desk?

Flirt. You might end up boning her or wearing the lunch. Either way it'll give the gossips summat to chew on

"

Good call P. Lunch was delightful...

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