FabSwingers.com forum: Do you think?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That having a voice and speaking up or standing your ground gets written off as brat behaviour when it clearly isn't?

We all have lives and how we want or need to live them, but when that doesn't gel with another it seems like it's just called being a brat.

Starting to really grate on me.

Anyone else had this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, bollox to what people think. You have to stand your ground, or your ground gets trampled. If people think that's you being a brat then tough xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sure I understand what you mean but curious as to what everyone else will say.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"That having a voice and speaking up or standing your ground gets written off as brat behaviour when it clearly isn't?

We all have lives and how we want or need to live them, but when that doesn't gel with another it seems like it's just called being a brat.

Starting to really grate on me.

Anyone else had this? "

You should be free to speak your mind at all times. If someone doesn't like it that's their problem, not yours

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Sometimes standing up for yourself can be seen as rebellious or bad for the sake of being bad, yes. Relegated to being about feelings rather than facts. It drives me nuts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've learnt that you have to look out for yourself in this world because usually everyone else has their own agenda. Be respectful but stand your ground. You are master of your own destiny. Make it what you need .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose it could depend on how you express it. If done in a reasoned, mature way as opposed to a sulky, bratty way. Without context, pretty hard to say.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I'm a relatively placid person, but I will only take so much flack before I bite back.

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman
over a year ago

sw London

"That having a voice and speaking up or standing your ground gets written off as brat behaviour when it clearly isn't?

We all have lives and how we want or need to live them, but when that doesn't gel with another it seems like it's just called being a brat.

Starting to really grate on me.

Anyone else had this? "

Everyone should be able to voice their opinion and agree to disagree not be called a brat x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah but who cares. Especially here. I’ve never been much of a crowd follower. I’ve been called all sorts. Over the head it goes. Unless it’s someone I care about or respect, then I will take it on board and perhaps look at myself a bit.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I am known as the “wasp in the jam” at work. It used to bother me, but doesn’t anymore. It is my job to advise to allow others to make decisions. I won’t be a “yes man” otherwise it defeats the reason why I was hired.

How one does this is the challenge and how one deals with the frustration of being classed as negative rather than pragmatic or practical has always been difficult. But I cannot change to suit a narrative

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dig your heels in as far as you possibly can nd tell then to fuck off OP. People who don't speak up get drowned out very quickly.

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By *rallyFixated1Man
over a year ago

tipton

Depends on the circumstances I guess. If you were justified then fuck them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah but who cares. Especially here. I’ve never been much of a crowd follower. I’ve been called all sorts. Over the head it goes. Unless it’s someone I care about or respect, then I will take it on board and perhaps look at myself a bit. "

But one thing I don’t do is get personal. That’s what annoys me on here. Estella and I couldn’t have more opposing views on everything! But I like that woman and I respect her views. Same for genghis and tea. I’m able to disagree with people and still be friends, a lot aren’t!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it depends on what's been said.

It's always healthy to reflect, and I'm not sure I agree with the whole "who gives a shit what everyone else thinks " attitude.

If you have been measured, thoughtful,truthful and considerate in what you've said, then dismiss what they say. Only you can answer that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So hard to put the context across.

Tried typing it out several times but still struggling.

Just feel like being called a brat or behaving bratty is another person's cop out and deflection from the actual thing I've put across.

Does that make sense?

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

You do what is right for you, that is the important thing, and that includes standing up for yourself. If people don’t like it, that’s their problem not yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've found this to be true only in social and private settings and it carries more sexual undertones, a bit like bad flirting. Maybe it's because of my height, I dunno.

I've never experienced it professionally and I wouldn't stand for it either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are we talking about Greta thunberg?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are we talking about Greta thunberg?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suppose it could depend on how you express it. If done in a reasoned, mature way as opposed to a sulky, bratty way. Without context, pretty hard to say. "

Oh I think this ^^^ has a lot to do with things, especially on fab!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's important to stand your ground and speak your mind but I do think some people use that as an excuse to act like a dick and then make out that it's acceptable because you're just being honest.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"So hard to put the context across.

Tried typing it out several times but still struggling.

Just feel like being called a brat or behaving bratty is another person's cop out and deflection from the actual thing I've put across.

Does that make sense? "

I hear you, and yes. It's another variant of "oh you must be on your period". No maybe I have reason to be pissed off, arse hole.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do agree with boobella too.

Though it doesn't seem to matter how I put it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So hard to put the context across.

Tried typing it out several times but still struggling.

Just feel like being called a brat or behaving bratty is another person's cop out and deflection from the actual thing I've put across.

Does that make sense?

I hear you, and yes. It's another variant of "oh you must be on your period". No maybe I have reason to be pissed off, arse hole. "

Yep, just like that! Couldn't have put it better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've learnt that you have to look out for yourself in this world because usually everyone else has their own agenda. Be respectful but stand your ground. You are master of your own destiny. Make it what you need . "

absolutely.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I have a lot of time for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a good argue but i am ranter like that rod gilbert fella just rant bollox till im heard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be honest and be you, stand your ground, you don't have to change just because someones not happy with what you say or do. You have to live with yourself so be true to who you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a lot of time for you.

Likewise ya weirdo

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"So hard to put the context across.

Tried typing it out several times but still struggling.

Just feel like being called a brat or behaving bratty is another person's cop out and deflection from the actual thing I've put across.

Does that make sense?

I hear you, and yes. It's another variant of "oh you must be on your period". No maybe I have reason to be pissed off, arse hole. "

Pretty much this! I hate confrontation but I stand up for myself and others when I have to. Hate being patronised or dismissed for it.

Mrs TMN x

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By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London

The problem with a lot of men (another sex and combinations are available), on fab is that they don’t like all their ‘hard work’ to be for nothing if they can’t fulfil the aspirations or needs of the woman they are messaging. So they either ignore their requirements or attempt to persuade, and when that doesn’t work they become either more demanding and entitled or abusive because you’ve dared be state what you are looking for. I’m sure that some guys have much lower expectations or requirements and are therefore annoyed when they encounter someone who actually gives a fuck (or in their case doesn’t

)

Stand your ground. Add to your list. Don’t settle for second best, if it doesn’t tick enough boxes.

“Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum”

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think that a lot of it can depend on how it's expressed and the context in which it is. Sometimes people can be very dismissive of an emotional reaction. It depends on the situation though.

If someone stamped their feet angrily and dug their feet in at work, I would take that negatively. If its a personal emotive topic then that's a different matter.

I'm not saying this is you OP, I just think it's hard to give a response with the information you've given

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The problem with a lot of men (another sex and combinations are available), on fab is that they don’t like all their ‘hard work’ to be for nothing if they can’t fulfil the aspirations or needs of the woman they are messaging. So they either ignore their requirements or attempt to persuade, and when that doesn’t work they become either more demanding and entitled or abusive because you’ve dared be state what you are looking for. I’m sure that some guys have much lower expectations or requirements and are therefore annoyed when they encounter someone who actually gives a fuck (or in their case doesn’t

)

Stand your ground. Add to your list. Don’t settle for second best, if it doesn’t tick enough boxes.

“Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum”"

It doesn't always surface till you've actually started seeing them though in some cases. Things become one sided. You put across what you'd like or want and it's just dismissed or written off as bratty!

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By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London

"It doesn't always surface till you've actually started seeing them though in some cases. Things become one sided. You put across what you'd like or want and it's just dismissed or written off as bratty! "

Then make it doubly clear that you have specific requirements, and that you will end it if they aren’t fulfilled. Probably best to bring this up away from a play meet. Where I come from being ‘bratty’ is an entirely different thing, and to use that out of context is inappropriate at best and misogynistic at worse. In which case dump his ass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/12/19 13:03:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That having a voice and speaking up or standing your ground gets written off as brat behaviour when it clearly isn't?

We all have lives and how we want or need to live them, but when that doesn't gel with another it seems like it's just called being a brat.

Starting to really grate on me.

Anyone else had this? "

All the time, 100% with you. Indicative of certain aspects of these sites. Be yourself and don't bend or sway, if they say you're or brat or .....say "yes and!!! Whats your point?, have a good day"

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"That having a voice and speaking up or standing your ground gets written off as brat behaviour when it clearly isn't?

We all have lives and how we want or need to live them, but when that doesn't gel with another it seems like it's just called being a brat.

Starting to really grate on me.

Anyone else had this? "

Depends on your delivery I guess. You can be forthright without being rude.

But then I do also think people are far too defensive and will accuse people of being rude when they simply disagree with something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a lot of time for you.

Oh I totally agree with this.

I disagree a lot with what people say on here but I still like and respect most of them.

Me and Ash have totally opposing views on a lot of things but we still muddle along nicely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you say something in the right way no, if you don’t say something you can’t say I told you so .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I act

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Be like the Dormouse and say what you mean and mean what you say. Or was it the Mad Hatter? Either or any.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Not being called a brat, no. But a gobshite, a bitch etc. I think that speaking up and saying what's on your mind is a good thing - obviously the other person doesn't have to agree with you but just shutting you down and writing off as *insert negative term* is tiresome. I like people who express opposing views to mine and furthermore can recognise and respectfully listen to views that are different from their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose it depends on how you voice your opinions?

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By *eviantdeeliteCouple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"That having a voice and speaking up or standing your ground gets written off as brat behaviour when it clearly isn't?

We all have lives and how we want or need to live them, but when that doesn't gel with another it seems like it's just called being a brat.

Starting to really grate on me.

Anyone else had this? "

I am a brat and I make no apologies for it...I have my reasons, it is up to the other person to find out why in the right way, as I am a complete pussy cat with the right approach....

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

As others have said it's all in the delivery, to me if a person is not willing to listen to anothers opinion and starts getting louder to drown them out then that is bratty behaviour.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

If I can sort something out with diplomacy I will, but otherwise

"A man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it comes down to how things are explained and whether there is compromise.

You can disagree or want different things and still do it respectfully.

I can be extremely specific about stuff and have expectations of things to be done a certain way but have only ever been called a brat in the bedroom sense

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