FabSwingers.com forum: Advice please?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi guys and girls.

Was just wondering. I get a reply, and a few messages get sent back and forth, whether that be to arrange a meet or just simply having a polite conversation, then just end up getting blanked?

Mainly a message towards the women on here, but I find this quite rude, and was wondering what the perception on this is?

Like I find when a profile say something along the lines of "put a few lines in your message and make it thoughtful" etc

When people do put a bit of effort into a good opening message as opposed to "hey wanna meet?" And it ends up getting blanked, it ends of being a bit of swings and roundabouts as people end up not putting effort into a message anymore.

Not a gripe or moan as such just wondering what people's thoughts are?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

If there's no attraction or something in your message that piques the recipients interest, and likewise with your profile, then it's very likely and perfectly acceptable not to get a response, whether that be to a first message or several messages in - it may seem rude taken at face value but when some on here can get multiple messages a day, taking the time to respond to each and every one (especially given that some may respond with abuse to being rejected) you can understand why people don't.

Site FAQs say that no response should be taken as a polite no thanks too

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Treat fab like a pub and you will be alright.

That woman across the bar, you’ve been trying to make eye contact with, who has now turned her back on you.

That girl who you had a chat with when you got your pickled onion, you had a joke, but now she’s off to meet her friend.

That couple sat at the table you were eyeing up the woman of, your view is now blocked by her fella.

Not one of these people had to come up to you and say “not interested” but their body language or behaviour suggested this. There is no body language on fab, just messages and winks, blocks and silences, deletes and replies.

People do not have to explicitly state they are not interested, you just have to read the signs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I understand what you are saying. And understand about a no reply to a message due to being inundated/not attracted etc

It was more when sending a few messages over the course of an hour or too,back and forth, having good craic, maybe sorting arrangements, then wham! Silence.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Treat fab like a pub and you will be alright.

That woman across the bar, you’ve been trying to make eye contact with, who has now turned her back on you.

That girl who you had a chat with when you got your pickled onion, you had a joke, but now she’s off to meet her friend.

That couple sat at the table you were eyeing up the woman of, your view is now blocked by her fella.

People do not have to explicitly state they are not interested, you just have to read the signs. "

That's a good way of looking at things!....Is it your round mucka?

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

"I understand what you are saying. And understand about a no reply to a message due to being inundated/not attracted etc

It was more when sending a few messages over the course of an hour or too,back and forth, having good craic, maybe sorting arrangements, then wham! Silence.

So you have never been in a pub, chatting to a girl, maybe even bought her a drink, laughing and joking and then..... “I’ve got to” ?

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

If I answer a message to be polite it doesn't actually mean I want to engage with that person, unless I find them attractive of course. But even then if they don't meet my requirements I still won't.

Get over it OP it's not rude at all, they simply don't want to waste time chatting with someone they don't want to meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I understand what you are saying. And understand about a no reply to a message due to being inundated/not attracted etc

It was more when sending a few messages over the course of an hour or too,back and forth, having good craic, maybe sorting arrangements, then wham! Silence.

So you have never been in a pub, chatting to a girl, maybe even bought her a drink, laughing and joking and then..... “I’ve got to” ?"

I don't buy girls drinks for that exact reason

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If I answer a message to be polite it doesn't actually mean I want to engage with that person, unless I find them attractive of course. But even then if they don't meet my requirements I still won't.

Get over it OP it's not rude at all, they simply don't want to waste time chatting with someone they don't want to meet."

If you replied saying "thanks,no thanks" I would be very greatful.

If we messaged for hours,even days and you asked me over, or arranged a social in a public place, then you blanked me, that would leave me miffed.

This isn't a gripe about not getting a reply, I understand that....as mentioned before it is about when things get going and the ball starts rolling.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

"I understand what you are saying. And understand about a no reply to a message due to being inundated/not attracted etc

It was more when sending a few messages over the course of an hour or too,back and forth, having good craic, maybe sorting arrangements, then wham! Silence.

So you have never been in a pub, chatting to a girl, maybe even bought her a drink, laughing and joking and then..... “I’ve got to” ?

I don't buy girls drinks for that exact reason

Well, you do you as they say. But if you are going to be disappointed, offended, crushed or angry at every message chain that ends abruptly then you may be in for a fair degree of “ego pain”. When the messages stop coming just imagine someone has turned their back on you. Get yourself another pickled onion and smile at the world

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Get over it OP it's not rude at all, they simply don't want to waste time chatting with someone they don't want to meet.

If you replied saying "thanks,no thanks" I would be very greatful.

If we messaged for hours,even days and you asked me over, or arranged a social in a public place, then you blanked me, that would leave me miffed.

This isn't a gripe about not getting a reply, I understand that....as mentioned before it is about when things get going and the ball starts rolling."
,

They could have simply changed their mind or you may have said something they didn't like. Very often at that point they will block, it saves explaining why they don't want to meet.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I understand what you are saying. And understand about a no reply to a message due to being inundated/not attracted etc

It was more when sending a few messages over the course of an hour or too,back and forth, having good craic, maybe sorting arrangements, then wham! Silence.

It happens and the reasons could be just about anything...they didn't like something you said, they had to go pick up hubby from the station, the dog was sick over the new carpet, someone else shinier came along or thousands of other possible reasons - you may never know which it was, so no point sweating it, just accept and move on, or if you felt it was going well enough drop them a note a couple of days later along the lines of "I enjoyed chatting the other day..." - just don't be pushy

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