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"Thinking about the worst comments read in profiles and the forum, is it possible to write the worst profile ever? Intended as light hearted fun, not to offend anyone. Can we write a profile between us for a person that no one would ever touch with a barge pole? Use the reply and quote button so it reads as fluently as possible. Add your own line or two. I'll start... I'm a really hot guy, I'm always told I am a god in bed." With crabs | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. " I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... " My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. | |||
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"Best shag ever and don’t try and kiss me either that’s gay "  | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too." As long as you don’t tell me mum..... | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... " I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed." Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... " Unless your into keeping it in the family?  | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... " And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. " He promises to close his eyes cos if he doesn't see it he won't catch the gay | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. " He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He promises to close his eyes cos if he doesn't see it he won't catch the gay"  | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... " They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He promises to close his eyes cos if he doesn't see it he won't catch the gay "Is anyone on here prepared to meet for a shag now or are you all timewasters? | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before " We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? " You aim too high .. Aldi!! | |||
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"Will fill in later. "You beat me to it!  | |||
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"Will fill in later.
You beat me to it! "Or will fill him in later | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? You aim too high .. Aldi!!" Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it. | |||
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"Thinking about the worst comments read in profiles and the forum, is it possible to write the worst profile ever? Intended as light hearted fun, not to offend anyone. Can we write a profile between us for a person that no one would ever touch with a barge pole? Use the reply and quote button so it reads as fluently as possible. Add your own line or two. I'll start... I'm a really hot guy, I'm always told I am a god in bed." I've already done it without knowing  | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? You aim too high .. Aldi!! Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it. "But that lidl is a shithole | |||
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"Will fill in later.
You beat me to it!
Or
will fill him in later" | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? You aim too high .. Aldi!! Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole "I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket. 
(Anyway we digress from the thread ..... ) | |||
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"Will fill in later.
You beat me to it! "Sorry | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? You aim too high .. Aldi!! Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole
I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket.
(Anyway we digress from the thread .....)"God we are the same person | |||
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"Don’t forget to add a load of meaningless bollocks threatening Sydney University with unenforceable legal action. " And a statement to the effect “I’ve been here before and I know how it works...” Good... that’s good to know.  | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? You aim too high .. Aldi!! Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole
I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket.
(Anyway we digress from the thread .....)
God we are the same person "Has anyone actually seen Nora and LJ in the same room?? | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? You aim too high .. Aldi!! Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole
I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket.
(Anyway we digress from the thread .....)
God we are the same person " Thank god you understand! What even is going on in that shop?! | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? You aim too high .. Aldi!! Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole
I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket.
(Anyway we digress from the thread .....)
God we are the same person
Thank god you understand! What even is going on in that shop?! "The product names in IKEA make more sense I'll have 2 fnurls and a schmer please Now I'm digressing... sorry OP | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? " Sydney University can kiss my arse. I've been here before and know how it works. | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? Sydney University can kiss my arse. I've been here before and know how it works. " No black, Asian, fat, thin, cockney's, scouser,s couples that wont let me give the missus anal, no beards or people that don't do bareback. | |||
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"No Black's except you look like Anthony Joshua, No Whites, No Asians" Just seen this... I've just added similar to the main feed... | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? You aim too high .. Aldi!! Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole
I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket.
(Anyway we digress from the thread .....)
God we are the same person
Thank god you understand! What even is going on in that shop?!
The product names in IKEA make more sense
I'll have 2 fnurls and a schmer please
Now I'm digressing... sorry OP" | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? Sydney University can kiss my arse. I've been here before and know how it works. No black, Asian, fat, thin, cockney's, scouser,s couples that wont let me give the missus anal, no beards or people that don't do bareback." Ladies, can you all stop messaging me, when I want one I'll find you. | |||
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"Im getting so many messages ladies it will take me a few hours to get through them all" Though my mums helping me reply. | |||
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony. I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. As long as you don’t tell me mum..... I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? Sydney University can kiss my arse. I've been here before and know how it works. No black, Asian, fat, thin, cockney's, scouser,s couples that wont let me give the missus anal, no beards or people that don't do bareback." I don't respond to winks, I get messaged a lot so might not see your message, however I want you to totally blow my mind with your message, preferably 350 characters or more in Iambic Dimeter. Points for use of alliteration. Use the word snuggle so I know you read this. | |||
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"Im getting so many messages ladies it will take me a few hours to get through them all Though my mums helping me reply." | |||
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and then not believe it when I reply I have absolutely none on here ! | |||
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"I’ll only do bare back " Lol very apt. | |||
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"To prove you've read my profile use the word Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch when you reply. " | |||
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"Only exceptional males need apply. (WTF is an exceptional male and what are we actually applying for?). Do we need to submit a CV?" Send me your CV..... | |||
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"I’ll only do bare back "  | |||
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