FabSwingers.com forum: Learning to love and accept yourself

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

For those who have struggled accepting themselves as they are, how do you work on it, what's worked for you?

Hopefully of use for those, including in threads recently, who struggle with insecurity, lack of body confidence, etc.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I dont really. Sure I get days where I dont think that I'm totally abhorrent but they are few and far between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't ask others what they think of me.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I love myself most evenings

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Learning to accept the things about me I can't change, that my flaws and imperfections are a part of me and make me who I am. I have good days and bad days but I'm having more good days than bad days now x

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Honestly not giving a F**k what others think worked wonders for me years back.

I am me, I like me (squidginess and all), I know me and my mind. No one else knows you, like you know yourself, so just own it and those that don’t like it can keep walking on by

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I don't think I'm ever going to love the way I look. Most photos of me make me cringe and I hate it when someone thinks they need to flatter me about my looks: come on mate, I have mirrors and pretty decent eyesight thanks all the same.

I try not to compare myself to others though, tough as that is on here where I feel surrounded on all sides by stunning women.

I have a metric shit-ton of great stuff going on and I try not to lose sight of that in the one area where I feel inadequate.

I do think it's a contributory factor to my hesitation over attending a club; it's a lot easier for me to take some time out and readjust my perspective when I can log out and walk away than it would be having a wobble in a club if I felt as though I didn't belong and wasn't attractive enough.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

I'm not perfect but I'm me. I spent many many years in relationships where I was constantly told all the things wrong with me..

I just decided one day to love myself or how could anyone else.

I have things that I could change but the things that make me me... well If someone else doesn't like them then that is now their problem not mine.

I still have what I call fat days... but on the whole I am me..and thats the one thing that I'm truly good at

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Realising that our time on this Earth can be taken away at any moment.

Do i want to spend the precious time i have on this planet worrying about my thunder thighs, and my bingo wings, and if i really should have that last Rolo, or do i make the most of life and live in, as healthily as i can, without making myself (and those around me!) miserable because i’m trying to conform tonSociety’s idea of perfection.

So the Rolo won.

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Honestly not giving a F**k what others think worked wonders for me years back.

I am me, I like me (squidginess and all), I know me and my mind. No one else knows you, like you know yourself, so just own it and those that don’t like it can keep walking on by "

Wow what a great philosophy...I'm going to try this xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you fake confidence, you gain confidence.

Sounds like bullshit but its so true

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I also have a dont give a f*ck attitude to it, I love myself and I keep the people who love me for myself around me, negativity is not tolerated and excluded as life is too short.

I will also seek out positive people in anything I do

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By *nlyoneruleMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Realising that our time on this Earth can be taken away at any moment.

So the Rolo won.

Like this approach... a lot. Going to adopt a "Let the Rolo win" mantra

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always having been a more than ample lass in a society that devalues any body type that isn't the current fashion, it has been quite the journey to learn to love and appreciate my body.

It can be hard to allow others to appreciate our bodies when the media ( and our own heads) constantly tells us to be thinner, more toned, younger etc.

I've been fortunate to be part of the body positive movement for a number of years. It's a powerful reminder that ALL bodies have beauty and worth, regardless of the preferences of others.

I still have " fat and ugly" days, but I now know that its my mind being horrible to me so I tell it to shut the fuck up!

Fab has been an intetesting, who knew being older and voluptuous was such a selling point to some very charming, handsome men!

Remember not everyone needs to find you attractive. People have their preferences as do I.

On that note bearded men with tattoos and larger ladies to the front please lol

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I surround myself with positive people, who accept me for me and lift me up when I'm down. If I'm being a bit daft, then sure, they'll call me on my bull but on the whole they are supportive.

I've also started doing things for me and that make me feel good about myself - like going to the gym, practising yoga and mindfulness.

I do still struggle about my body image - in my head I'm still 9 stones heavier. But I'm starting to get to the point where I love me for who I am flaws and all. If people don't like me, it's no skin off my nose.

Life is too short to not spend it living and enjoying my time on here.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Honestly not giving a F**k what others think worked wonders for me years back.

I am me, I like me (squidginess and all), I know me and my mind. No one else knows you, like you know yourself, so just own it and those that don’t like it can keep walking on by

Wow what a great philosophy...I'm going to try this xx"

After too many years of being told how to act, what to wear etc I didn’t really know who I was anymore, now I do and that was the easiest way for me to do it.

I’ve still got one hang up to deal with, but that will be sorted next year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who have struggled accepting themselves as they are, how do you work on it, what's worked for you?

Hopefully of use for those, including in threads recently, who struggle with insecurity, lack of body confidence, etc. "

Everybody properly as different ways of developing self esteem in which as great resilience against negativity. The three that I work on are, exercise, meditation and listening to my inner self. I am a huge fan of mindfulness, it brings me focus and relaxation. I do hope you have a positive journey on your discovery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who have struggled accepting themselves as they are, how do you work on it, what's worked for you?

Hopefully of use for those, including in threads recently, who struggle with insecurity, lack of body confidence, etc.

Probably sorry about the wording

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"For those who have struggled accepting themselves as they are, how do you work on it, what's worked for you?

Hopefully of use for those, including in threads recently, who struggle with insecurity, lack of body confidence, etc. "

If I catch myself being mean to me I turn it 180 and replace with much nicer things.

I forgive myself my mistakes and let them go.

I'm trying to be more tolerant as the judgemental stuff was never me in the first place just a pattern I learned.

I'm good to myself more. Not fiscally just physically and emotionally.

Self love is v important.

I'm much more patient than I was.

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

When you come to terms with not everyone will like you and you cannot please everyone, you can relax and think that they can either take me as I am or move along.. it’s such a weight off the mind not to care what people think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some days are harder than others, I look in the mirror and still see the fat me looking back. I know I’m not perfect but I think for an old fat bird I’m ok. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm slowly getting there and one thing I have learnt is to be around people who think you are amazing and not people who enjoy putting you down to make themselves feel better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who have struggled accepting themselves as they are, how do you work on it, what's worked for you?

Hopefully of use for those, including in threads recently, who struggle with insecurity, lack of body confidence, etc. "

Was lucky enough to have support and help me to be me. Now it doesn't matter to me how people see me, I have stopped trying to be something others want me to be and content in just being me.

It is far more difficult to be accepted by others especially on sites like these, they compound negative feelings, emotions, insecurity, body image and self esteem.

My only advice is to look in the mirror and decide the person you want to be and not how you feel you want to be seen by others and work on that a little at a time, small steps. It is not easy and fallen a few times but managed to pick myself up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know what?

I think providing you can lay your head on your pillow at night and know you've got through the day being a good soul then that's worth far more than a pert pair of jugs or a perfectly flat tum.

Being kind to ourselves in so far as realising our quirks of the internal kind are what our brain has learned over the years, it's our brain doing what it's been designed to do which means it's working perfectly well, just more often than not it's remembering old lessons which are outdated. So... we need to teach it new lessons, give it new info.

Hope this helps.

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