FabSwingers.com forum: Modest, aren't you?

By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

This was sneered at me this week.

Why are women expected to be modest about their achievements?

Are you 'modest' or do you talk about your achievements, even brag about your achievements?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im quite modest.

I certainly don't brag about anything I've achieved.

Professionally I don't mention it at all, I think I come across as a twat if I put all the letters after my name or talk about various things I've achieved.

I'm more proud of my personal achievements than my professional ones, even those I don't brag about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not mine no, but I am that one that bangs on about my kids lol

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think it's partly gendered and partly cultural.

I admit to my achievements but usually downplay them.

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By *oved Up 2Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

I tend to be modest when others praise my achievements but will happily brag about them in conversation

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Modesty is one of my greatest attributes

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

I play down (read as ‘I don’t mention) my achievements.

Inwardly I smile when others gloat of theirs..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't brag but I won't stay quiet about achievements. Modesty is a required virtue for women it seems or they're deemed "above themselves" or "up their own arse".

However if you put yourself down you're told to have more faith in yourself.

Lose /lose situation it appears

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess some people have been put down so much in their lives, that they're so proud at what they've managed to achieve.

I'm as guilty as the next, but be happy someone else is happy I guess!

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By *modDMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

"This was sneered at me this week.

Why are women expected to be modest about their achievements?

Are you 'modest' or do you talk about your achievements, even brag about your achievements?

What, like men are allowed to get away with bragging?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I don't brag but I won't stay quiet about achievements. Modesty is a required virtue for women it seems or they're deemed "above themselves" or "up their own arse".

However if you put yourself down you're told to have more faith in yourself.

Lose /lose situation it appears "

I'd agree with this. It was pointed out to me this week that I self deprecate and downplay my career successes but actually, I am proud of what I've achieved so far and continue to. I don't want to be seen as gloating or unlikeable and people do like to tear others down.

I'm going to start using the letters after my name soon and be truly horrible.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

If I have something to brag about I will, however I won't shout about it and make sure people know about it. I have no problem with that.

Just as I have no issue with admitting my flaws

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I don't brag but I won't stay quiet about achievements. Modesty is a required virtue for women it seems or they're deemed "above themselves" or "up their own arse".

However if you put yourself down you're told to have more faith in yourself.

Lose /lose situation it appears "

That's my feeling.

On here men brag about the amount of tax they pay, pose with expensive cars, flash £000s watches and other things. These are proxies for their achievements, I assume.

Out there I experience men bragging about things they didn't even do and no one bats an eyelid.

It should be ok for everyone to say they did x, achieved y and they're proud of that achievement - if they want to, in the right circumstances.

I talk about my failures a lot and what failure has taught me. That gets me comments about me putting myself down. If I talk about my successes and get the sneer I now counter with a "damn right, I'm modest. It's just the tip of the iceberg".

I think mid 50s with absolutely nothing to lose (least of all face) me sees the false modesty situations in a different way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't brag but I won't stay quiet about achievements. Modesty is a required virtue for women it seems or they're deemed "above themselves" or "up their own arse".

However if you put yourself down you're told to have more faith in yourself.

Lose /lose situation it appears

I'm going to start using the letters after my name soon and be truly horrible.

What letters you got?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My achievements are my satisfaction. Hitting my goals with perseverance, hard work, and single-mindedness. I really don't get any satisfaction from bragging about them, or discussing them.

Now with regards to my cherubs, I am a bit more relaxed about it. I will tell close family and very close friends when they have achieved something extraordinary, because I bloody love them to bits! And I often can't help it when I'm bursting with pride.

x Niki

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By *AABMan
over a year ago

Not far

I work for a Swedish company and Swedish culture has a term Janteloven which means you do not show off or brag about yourself. So we don’t have business titles or have any letters after our names.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I play down (read as ‘I don’t mention) my achievements.

Inwardly I smile when others gloat of theirs.."

That is so me!

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

My achievements are my satisfaction. Hitting my goals with perseverance, hard work, and single-mindedness. I really don't get any satisfaction from bragging about them, or discussing them.

x Niki"

You don't view that as vicariously claiming their achievements?

I happily brag about the teens but I know that I'm also saying that I helped them get there because... I changed their nappies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women in particular?

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I work for a Swedish company and Swedish culture has a term Janteloven which means you do not show off or brag about yourself. So we don’t have business titles or have any letters after our names."

That's an interesting approach. Even though you don't have titles is there still a hierarchy?

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Women in particular?"

See Nicecouple's response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women in particular?

See Nicecouple's response.

Still don't follow....

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By *eviantdeeliteCouple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

If it was sneered at you then are you sure the person who said it was not being sarcastic

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By *eviantdeeliteCouple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

A lion does not have to go around telling everyone it is a lion...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My achievements are my satisfaction. Hitting my goals with perseverance, hard work, and single-mindedness. I really don't get any satisfaction from bragging about them, or discussing them.

x Niki

You don't view that as vicariously claiming their achievements?

I happily brag about the teens but I know that I'm also saying that I helped them get there because... I changed their nappies.

ROLF totally see where you are coming from. I don't miss those stinky nappies! But with regards to your question, I absolutely, categorically do not. I have raised them to think for themselves, and I support them when they need me. What they achieve, they achieve on their own because of their hard work, not because I gave them life, or make them their dinner / put a roof over their head.

x Niki

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I work for a Swedish company and Swedish culture has a term Janteloven which means you do not show off or brag about yourself. So we don’t have business titles or have any letters after our names.

That's an interesting approach. Even though you don't have titles is there still a hierarchy?

I'd love to know the answer to this too. I have always hated titles, because...you know....it's what you do, not what you're called!

x N

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't brag but I won't stay quiet about achievements. Modesty is a required virtue for women it seems or they're deemed "above themselves" or "up their own arse".

However if you put yourself down you're told to have more faith in yourself.

Lose /lose situation it appears

That's my feeling.

On here men brag about the amount of tax they pay, pose with expensive cars, flash £000s watches and other things. These are proxies for their achievements, I assume.

Out there I experience men bragging about things they didn't even do and no one bats an eyelid.

It should be ok for everyone to say they did x, achieved y and they're proud of that achievement - if they want to, in the right circumstances.

I think mid 50s with absolutely nothing to lose (least of all face) me sees the false modesty situations in a different way.

I reckon that posing with those objects are more about attracting a woman; more-so than bragging rights? It doesn't really matter whether someone brags or keeps their achievements to themselves, everything in life is essentially pointless. A car with a relatively high price tag doesn't make ones life any better than one with the funds to hire a taxi, or one with a bike in a warm climate, heigh ho.

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By *AABMan
over a year ago

Not far

"I work for a Swedish company and Swedish culture has a term Janteloven which means you do not show off or brag about yourself. So we don’t have business titles or have any letters after our names.

That's an interesting approach. Even though you don't have titles is there still a hierarchy?

No not really. People take ownership of a certain area of interest or expertise. People may report to somebody but only in the sense that the somebody is leading and coordinating a collection of activities. There’s no us and them management and engineers, just everybody with different responsibilities and everybody is approachable and up for a conversation about the weather, life, or something on telly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like talking about myself, so no.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Women in particular?

See Nicecouple's response.

Still don't follow...."

Women are expected to be modest. It is not considered "feminine" to be open about your achievements, good qualities or skills. Ever heard the term "ball buster" or heard a strong confident woman referred to as a "harpy" or complimented by being told she's got "balls"? However women are also told that confidence is sexy.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I work for a Swedish company and Swedish culture has a term Janteloven which means you do not show off or brag about yourself. So we don’t have business titles or have any letters after our names.

That's an interesting approach. Even though you don't have titles is there still a hierarchy?

Is it a self selecting lead or co-ordination?

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Women in particular?

See Nicecouple's response.

Still don't follow....

Confidence IS sexy, not just for women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women in particular?

See Nicecouple's response.

Still don't follow....

I reckon that this is a little old fashioned. The women blocking the roads at the school gates, are all in attempts to top one another in their exotic cars. The fashion industry was essentially founded upon the backs of women wishing to appear more successful than they actually were. Women are adopting the same grandiose behaviours as men in regards gloating about their successes.

Of course this is not all women, just as we cannot say that all men are overtly "proud" and willing to thrust their achievements in the faces of others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This was sneered at me this week.

Why are women expected to be modest about their achievements?

Are you 'modest' or do you talk about your achievements, even brag about your achievements?

That says everything about them and nothing about you, in my mind. If I think someone is showing off I'll clock it but I won't say anything. That sounds like triggered insecurity. I like hearing about people's achievements. It's when every conversation is a variation on "have I told you lately I'm amazing" that I lose interest. I encountered someone like this on fab recently... It gets old pretty fast.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I find it annoying when a man steals my joke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't brag but I won't stay quiet about achievements. Modesty is a required virtue for women it seems or they're deemed "above themselves" or "up their own arse".

However if you put yourself down you're told to have more faith in yourself.

Lose /lose situation it appears

That's my feeling.

On here men brag about the amount of tax they pay, pose with expensive cars, flash £000s watches and other things. These are proxies for their achievements, I assume.

Out there I experience men bragging about things they didn't even do and no one bats an eyelid.

It should be ok for everyone to say they did x, achieved y and they're proud of that achievement - if they want to, in the right circumstances.

I talk about my failures a lot and what failure has taught me. That gets me comments about me putting myself down. *** If I talk about my successes and get the sneer I now counter with a "damn right, I'm modest. It's just the tip of the iceberg". ***

I think mid 50s with absolutely nothing to lose (least of all face) me sees the false modesty situations in a different way.

*** Brilliant!

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I find it annoying when a man steals my joke.

Mine are crap so they're welcome to them.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I find it annoying when a man steals my joke.

Mine are crap so they're welcome to them.

It woz that Lib wot done it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What achievements?

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"What achievements?"

Yours, I suspect, are innumerable.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"A lion does not have to go around telling everyone it is a lion..."

I like this

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I find it annoying when a man steals my joke.

Mine are crap so they're welcome to them.

It woz that Lib wot done it.

The jokes on him. You've got boobs.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"A lion does not have to go around telling everyone it is a lion...

I like this

But they do go around assert which one of them is the best at being a lion.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I find it annoying when a man steals my joke.

Mine are crap so they're welcome to them.

It woz that Lib wot done it.

The jokes on him. You've got boobs.

I do my breast.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I find it annoying when a man steals my joke.

Mine are crap so they're welcome to them.

It woz that Lib wot done it.

The jokes on him. You've got boobs.

I do my breast.

The missing apostrophe in my post is going to haunt me now.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I find it annoying when a man steals my joke.

Mine are crap so they're welcome to them.

It woz that Lib wot done it.

The jokes on him. You've got boobs.

I do my breast.

The missing apostrophe in my post is going to haunt me now.

The amusing thing being *that* was the exact joke he stole!

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I find it annoying when a man steals my joke.

Mine are crap so they're welcome to them.

It woz that Lib wot done it.

The jokes on him. You've got boobs.

I do my breast.

The missing apostrophe in my post is going to haunt me now.

The amusing thing being *that* was the exact joke he stole!

I've just seen his 'breast' on another thread.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I find it annoying when a man steals my joke.

Mine are crap so they're welcome to them.

It woz that Lib wot done it.

The jokes on him. You've got boobs.

I do my breast.

The missing apostrophe in my post is going to haunt me now.

The amusing thing being *that* was the exact joke he stole!

I've just seen his 'breast' on another thread.

He’s a wee rascal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry lickety, I didn't mean to sound rude earlier, I waw a bit consumed bwith something else...

I just meant I think we're ALL encouraged to downplay our achievements, especially in the UK. Tbh I quite like that not everyone knows what I'm good at or how far I've come, and I can hopefully surprise ppl now and then, but yeah it's nice to shout about it too sometimes if and when you're feeling proud....

Most importantly, if ppl upset you or are rude, fuck 'em innit.....

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

One upmanship is never very useful or attractive nor is bragging to gain ... but why not celebrate yourself?

I'm always interested in what people have overcome in life and what they feel like they've achieved. We're awesome.

Switch on your light and shine I say.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"One upmanship is never very useful or attractive nor is bragging to gain ... but why not celebrate yourself?

I'm always interested in what people have overcome in life and what they feel like they've achieved. We're awesome.

Switch on your light and shine I say.

I like the way you’ve put that.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Switch on your light and shine..love that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm....

I'm just gonna bookmark this thread.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Sorry lickety, I didn't mean to sound rude earlier, I waw a bit consumed bwith something else...

Most importantly, if ppl upset you or are rude, fuck 'em innit.....

I don't think he wanted me to fuck him.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"One upmanship is never very useful or attractive nor is bragging to gain ... but why not celebrate yourself?

I'm always interested in what people have overcome in life and what they feel like they've achieved. We're awesome.

Switch on your light and shine I say.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"A lion does not have to go around telling everyone it is a lion...

I like this

But they do go around assert which one of them is the best at being a lion.

In a modest way though

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

"One upmanship is never very useful or attractive nor is bragging to gain ... but why not celebrate yourself?

I'm always interested in what people have overcome in life and what they feel like they've achieved. We're awesome.

Switch on your light and shine I say.

I like the way you’ve put that.

Xxx

It got me thinking .. even the big headed braggers are just silly poor wee humans. Big egos (or any ego) usually pop to protect or cover up some vulnerable part of ourselves.

Braggers and belittlers are small somewhere inside.

Its very different to just being humbly chuffed with yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What achievements?

Yours, I suspect, are innumerable.

Unmentionables

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"One upmanship is never very useful or attractive nor is bragging to gain ... but why not celebrate yourself?

I'm always interested in what people have overcome in life and what they feel like they've achieved. We're awesome.

Switch on your light and shine I say.

I like the way you’ve put that.

Xxx

It got me thinking .. even the big headed braggers are just silly poor wee humans. Big egos (or any ego) usually pop to protect or cover up some vulnerable part of ourselves.

Braggers and belittlers are small somewhere inside.

Its very different to just being humbly chuffed with yourself. "

I wholeheartedly agree. People are simply doing the best they can at any one time - and sometimes people have learned coping strategies that may not be healthy longterm. It’s always important to look behind presenting behaviour (when it’s unappealing behaviour) and more often than not you’ll find layers of compounded trauma and hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry lickety, I didn't mean to sound rude earlier, I waw a bit consumed bwith something else...

Most importantly, if ppl upset you or are rude, fuck 'em innit.....

I don't think he wanted me to fuck him.

Nobody likes being told to fuck off, do they....

(see other thread for details)

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By *eviantdeeliteCouple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"A lion does not have to go around telling everyone it is a lion...

I like this

But they do go around assert which one of them is the best at being a lion.

Do they? Or is it just survival instinct when they feel threatened? Humans are the only animals that have to find something to disagree with others about even when everything is actually hunkydory

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Women in particular?

See Nicecouple's response.

Still don't follow....

Confidence IS sexy, not just for women.

I agree. I was highlighting the impossible position we're in.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Women in particular?

See Nicecouple's response.

Still don't follow....

Of course this is not all women, just as we cannot say that all men are overtly "proud" and willing to thrust their achievements in the faces of others."

You could well be right. I'm over 30 years older than you. My life experiences will be old fashioned by comparison to yours

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"A lion does not have to go around telling everyone it is a lion...

I like this

But they do go around assert which one of them is the best at being a lion.

Do they? Or is it just survival instinct when they feel threatened? Humans are the only animals that have to find something to disagree with others about even when everything is actually hunkydory

Lions, and other animals, create a pecking order on the strongest and largest. That lion/other animal, is deemed to be the best lion/the best at being a lion.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"A lion does not have to go around telling everyone it is a lion..."

True!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really am glad I have no interest in how others see me. Yeah I'm awesome. Yeah I've achieved plenty. I'll mention it and only the insecure will feel threatened by that so I'm alright with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

"Modesty is one of my greatest attributes

And mine, but I don't like to brag about it

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I’m proud of both my personal and professional achievements. Whilst I’m happy to talk about either, I don’t brag ... it’s not an endearing quality.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet "

I do look at shoes because I like shoes. I sent a man a link to some comfy shoes to help with his dodgy knees.

I look at a man's smile and eyes. The two together tell me whether he's going to be trouble or not. The smile that doesn't make it up to the eyes is a warning sign.

No man, after my father, has paid for anything for me that hasn't been mutually reciprocated (e.g. dinner, drinks).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet "

What an outdated view

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet "

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm nippy does not have to go around telling every he is a nippy.

Love that! I'm borrowing it! Let the followers do the work for me eh....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't brag but I won't stay quiet about achievements. Modesty is a required virtue for women it seems or they're deemed "above themselves" or "up their own arse".

However if you put yourself down you're told to have more faith in yourself.

Lose /lose situation it appears

That's my feeling.

On here men brag about the amount of tax they pay, pose with expensive cars, flash £000s watches and other things. These are proxies for their achievements, I assume.

Out there I experience men bragging about things they didn't even do and no one bats an eyelid.

It should be ok for everyone to say they did x, achieved y and they're proud of that achievement - if they want to, in the right circumstances.

I think mid 50s with absolutely nothing to lose (least of all face) me sees the false modesty situations in a different way.

Surely all you're actually doing is sharing with the world the happiness you're experiencing at achieving something? People should be pleased for you and with you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man. "

And I'm too old to get involved with someone who isn't financially secure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

What an outdated view"

Outdated but still true...I think now even more as people are more materialistic...

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet "

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man. "

It's normally a good marker of what folding he's holding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere "

In the words of the great posters mcfly

Girls like cars and money

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man.

It's normally a good marker of what folding he's holding"

It's a good marker of how he values himself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

In the words of the great posters mcfly

Girls like cars and money"

Popsters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere "

Money and power get you laid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man.

It's normally a good marker of what folding he's holding

It's a good marker of how he values himself."

But no minimum wage chappy is going to bankroll a 400 quid pair of loafers ... so they tell you ...chances are he's minted

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

In the words of the great posters mcfly

Girls like cars and money"

Glad I don't reside in this world

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

Money and power get you laid"

It's true. There are some women and men who are very attracted to money and power.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

In the words of the great posters mcfly

Girls like cars and money"

That was Good Charlotte. Another thing you're wrong about

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man.

It's normally a good marker of what folding he's holding

It's a good marker of how he values himself.

But no minimum wage chappy is going to bankroll a 400 quid pair of loafers ... so they tell you ...chances are he's minted"

Most of us can't tell a pair of £400 loafers from a decent pair for £50 from TKMaxx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

Money and power get you laid"

Yep. I need someone who can afford to go halves on a decent hotel room. I'm not subsidising someone's sex life.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Modest 100%

Don't see the need to shout about what I know I have done.

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By *eviantdeeliteCouple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"I'm nippy does not have to go around telling every he is a nippy.

Love that! I'm borrowing it! Let the followers do the work for me eh....

Your reputation precedes you.....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man.

It's normally a good marker of what folding he's holding

It's a good marker of how he values himself.

But no minimum wage chappy is going to bankroll a 400 quid pair of loafers ... so they tell you ...chances are he's minted"

True but a "minimum wage chappy" who values himself will wear clean shoes, doesn't matter how much they cost him.

It's not about how much the shoes cost, it's about how they look after them.

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By *eviantdeeliteCouple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man.

It's normally a good marker of what folding he's holding

It's a good marker of how he values himself.

But no minimum wage chappy is going to bankroll a 400 quid pair of loafers ... so they tell you ...chances are he's minted

Most of us can't tell a pair of £400 loafers from a decent pair for £50 from TKMaxx.

Glad you said most.....that is because they have not be educated by experience....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

In the words of the great posters mcfly

Girls like cars and money

Glad I don't reside in this world "

Maybe you don't consciously but I bet if your blind date came and picked you up in his battered Fiesta you wouldn't mention it...but if he turned up in his bentley you would be telling your friends....human nature

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

In the words of the great posters mcfly

Girls like cars and money

Glad I don't reside in this world

Yes, I'd tell my friends if he turned up in a Bentley but if he was a knob his Bentley would be meaningless, except as a joke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

In the words of the great posters mcfly

Girls like cars and money

That was Good Charlotte. Another thing you're wrong about

Yes your right... couldn't place the song...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man.

It's normally a good marker of what folding he's holding

It's a good marker of how he values himself.

But no minimum wage chappy is going to bankroll a 400 quid pair of loafers ... so they tell you ...chances are he's minted

True but a "minimum wage chappy" who values himself will wear clean shoes, doesn't matter how much they cost him.

It's not about how much the shoes cost, it's about how they look after them."

The whole point is about the cost of the shoes...as they can be a sign of wealth...wich a lot of women find attractive... no man carries his net worth round with him....so signals like expensive watch...etc attract ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

In the words of the great posters mcfly

Girls like cars and money

Glad I don't reside in this world

Yes, I'd tell my friends if he turned up in a Bentley but if he was a knob his Bentley would be meaningless, except as a joke.

If he's a knob he's a knob...

But the Fiesta wouldn't get a mention either way...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man.

It's normally a good marker of what folding he's holding

It's a good marker of how he values himself.

But no minimum wage chappy is going to bankroll a 400 quid pair of loafers ... so they tell you ...chances are he's minted

True but a "minimum wage chappy" who values himself will wear clean shoes, doesn't matter how much they cost him.

It's not about how much the shoes cost, it's about how they look after them.

Is it? You just said women look at the shoes, the watch and the wallet.

It's possible to infer wealth from those things I agree and also that women and men will be attracted to that.

Personally I infer a lot more.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Clean shoes make a good impression, especially if he has a twinkle in his eye, a nice smile and a good heart. I can buy my own round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man.

It's normally a good marker of what folding he's holding

It's a good marker of how he values himself.

But no minimum wage chappy is going to bankroll a 400 quid pair of loafers ... so they tell you ...chances are he's minted

Most of us can't tell a pair of £400 loafers from a decent pair for £50 from TKMaxx.

Even if your not an expert on mens footwear the chances are the man wearing 400 quid shoes isn't going to be teaming them up with a Lonsdale track suit and a back to front cap...you will know he's got money...and not much chance of bumping into him in TKMaxx

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man.

It's normally a good marker of what folding he's holding

It's a good marker of how he values himself.

But no minimum wage chappy is going to bankroll a 400 quid pair of loafers ... so they tell you ...chances are he's minted

True but a "minimum wage chappy" who values himself will wear clean shoes, doesn't matter how much they cost him.

It's not about how much the shoes cost, it's about how they look after them.

Of course you're right. We're all gold diggers.

There is an evolutionary point to signals of status. Male birds come with the fancy plumage to attract the dowdier female. We are conditioned from an early age with stories of princes rescuing us and living happily ever after in comfort and wealth.

Most know that is a fairytale and we are emotionally intelligent enough to value the wealth that is kindness of spirit and good sex. However, security is important and if you have different financial outlooks that can be a problem.

The high net worth men I have met have all (bar one) been miserly. That is so unattractive that I don't care what shoes they are wearing because what I see is them using those shoes to stomp on others.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

The last thing I look at is the shoes, watch and wallet. A mans financial status has never bothered me, I can more than take care of myself in that department.

It's the smile, personality and the sexy glint in their eye that catches my attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look at shoes. They say a lot about a man.

It's normally a good marker of what folding he's holding

It's a good marker of how he values himself.

But no minimum wage chappy is going to bankroll a 400 quid pair of loafers ... so they tell you ...chances are he's minted

True but a "minimum wage chappy" who values himself will wear clean shoes, doesn't matter how much they cost him.

It's not about how much the shoes cost, it's about how they look after them.

Of course you're right. We're all gold diggers.

Miserly is a horrible trait in anyone ...rich, poor or whatever

My point still is if you got folding you will get laid...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The last thing I look at is the shoes, watch and wallet. A mans financial status has never bothered me, I can more than take care of myself in that department.

It's the smile, personality and the sexy glint in their eye that catches my attention."

I got a lot of stories on this subject over the years. Some funny , some sad and some that will make you look at life with different eyes ...

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"The last thing I look at is the shoes, watch and wallet. A mans financial status has never bothered me, I can more than take care of myself in that department.

It's the smile, personality and the sexy glint in their eye that catches my attention.

I got a lot of stories on this subject over the years. Some funny , some sad and some that will make you look at life with different eyes ... "

I like how I look at life, it works perfectly for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The last thing I look at is the shoes, watch and wallet. A mans financial status has never bothered me, I can more than take care of myself in that department.

It's the smile, personality and the sexy glint in their eye that catches my attention.

I got a lot of stories on this subject over the years. Some funny , some sad and some that will make you look at life with different eyes ...

I like how I look at life, it works perfectly for me."

Sparkle you are a keeper.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"The last thing I look at is the shoes, watch and wallet. A mans financial status has never bothered me, I can more than take care of myself in that department.

It's the smile, personality and the sexy glint in their eye that catches my attention.

I got a lot of stories on this subject over the years. Some funny , some sad and some that will make you look at life with different eyes ...

I like how I look at life, it works perfectly for me.

Sparkle you are a keeper. "

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The last thing I look at is the shoes, watch and wallet. A mans financial status has never bothered me, I can more than take care of myself in that department.

It's the smile, personality and the sexy glint in their eye that catches my attention.

I got a lot of stories on this subject over the years. Some funny , some sad and some that will make you look at life with different eyes ...

I like how I look at life, it works perfectly for me.

Sparkle you are a keeper.

Thanks

Shall I pick you up on Thursday in my new Aston...I've got us a table at the Fat Duck...

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"The last thing I look at is the shoes, watch and wallet. A mans financial status has never bothered me, I can more than take care of myself in that department.

It's the smile, personality and the sexy glint in their eye that catches my attention.

I got a lot of stories on this subject over the years. Some funny , some sad and some that will make you look at life with different eyes ...

I like how I look at life, it works perfectly for me.

Sparkle you are a keeper.

Thanks

Shall I pick you up on Thursday in my new Aston...I've got us a table at the Fat Duck...

Only if you come in a Skoda and we go to the chip shop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The last thing I look at is the shoes, watch and wallet. A mans financial status has never bothered me, I can more than take care of myself in that department.

It's the smile, personality and the sexy glint in their eye that catches my attention.

I got a lot of stories on this subject over the years. Some funny , some sad and some that will make you look at life with different eyes ...

I like how I look at life, it works perfectly for me.

Sparkle you are a keeper.

Thanks

Shall I pick you up on Thursday in my new Aston...I've got us a table at the Fat Duck...

Only if you come in a Skoda and we go to the chip shop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The last thing I look at is the shoes, watch and wallet. A mans financial status has never bothered me, I can more than take care of myself in that department.

It's the smile, personality and the sexy glint in their eye that catches my attention."

I generally point out early on that I'm the kind of woman that only gets called Madam when it's followed by "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave"

I have met extremely affluent men and had a wonderful time but it's never cost any money. And if that's all they've got then I'm not interested, I'll have the hench, funny guy in the hi viz every time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are women expected to be modest about their achievements?

Are you 'modest' or do you talk about your achievements, even brag about your achievements?"

This post went from this ^^^ above quoted to financial status in men.

Funny how that turns around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Why are women expected to be modest about their achievements?

Are you 'modest' or do you talk about your achievements, even brag about your achievements?"

This post went from this ^^^ above quoted to financial status in men.

Funny how that turns around.

Men........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't brag but I won't stay quiet about achievements. Modesty is a required virtue for women it seems or they're deemed "above themselves" or "up their own arse".

However if you put yourself down you're told to have more faith in yourself.

Lose /lose situation it appears

I'm going to start using the letters after my name soon and be truly horrible.

I’d agree with this. I’m inwardly very proud of what I’ve achieved but I get a bit embarrassed when others point it out and praise me.

This is also the reason I don’t put letters before (or after) my name on any documents. Many of my colleagues do and don’t get why I don’t. Suppose I just like to be plain old me outside of work instead of the “professional” me...

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

My wallet and penis have a lot in common, they're both small and leathery but perfectly formed and spend most of their time in my trousers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

In the words of the great posters mcfly

Girls like cars and money

Glad I don't reside in this world "

Christ, me too!! In keeping with the spirit of the post.... Not bragging but... my purse is usually fuller than any man’s wallet, so it interests me not the slightest...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My wallet and penis have a lot in common, they're both small and leathery but perfectly formed and spend most of their time in my trousers."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'll put my flame suit on

Women say they look at

Your bum

Your smile

Your eyes ...

The reality

Women look at

your shoes

Your watch

Your wallet

Not me .. and not many others I'm sure. Some yes, but not for long.. because it will get them nowhere

In the words of the great posters mcfly

Girls like cars and money

Glad I don't reside in this world

Christ, me too!! In keeping with the spirit of the post.... Not bragging but... my purse is usually fuller than any man’s wallet, so it interests me not the slightest...

Luckily there are women like you...to restore a mans faith...I have a few well healed friends who are now in what I call ..."the trophy wife " stage of life...

Hot second wife 15-20 years younger...well you get the picture....I always pull my mates chains and ask ...do you think she would be with you, if you worked at Tesco ( I know there's nothing wrong with working at tesco).

They know the score ... and just smile... I think quite a lot of the womens 1st blokes may have worn high viz's and probably had arms like Tree trunks but that don't pay the bills and put you behind the wheel of a new 4x4 Every year....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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