FabSwingers.com forum: Anxiety and depression

By *ustyLeRoux OP Woman
over a year ago

Brecon

So I definitely use fab as a means from escaping my worries.. doesnt always work.

Does anyone else find it hard to explain that you struggle ? Ie organising a social meet then changing your mind ? Mainly because of the crippling fear of rejection ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think, as most people already know, suffering depression and anxiety etc can manifest itself in so many different ways.

It's easy to over analyse in ones head, but very difficult to open up to others honestly for fear of being labelled.

Following through a meet to keep an obligation wouldn't be great. Be honest and use non committal words, like feeling a bit under the weather as opposed to anxiety?

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"So I definitely use fab as a means from escaping my worries.. doesnt always work.

Does anyone else find it hard to explain that you struggle ? Ie organising a social meet then changing your mind ? Mainly because of the crippling fear of rejection ?"

I think that’s normal when you’re working through depression. Just remember that you are working through it, it’s difficult but you can do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I definitely use fab as a means from escaping my worries.. doesnt always work.

Does anyone else find it hard to explain that you struggle ? Ie organising a social meet then changing your mind ? Mainly because of the crippling fear of rejection ?"

I had a similar thread, I suffer from eupd and PTSD, fab helps me disassociate from real life x

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I try to avoid making plans until I'm absolutely sure I can handle it both in terms of schedule and my current state of mind.

But yes, it is not always easy to explain these things to "strangers" without them being unable to understand how much of an impact it is on you. It is why I generally now tend to get to know people and chat. Much more than rush a meet.

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By *ustyLeRoux OP Woman
over a year ago

Brecon

" I think, as most people already know, suffering depression and anxiety etc can manifest itself in so many different ways.

It's easy to over analyse in ones head, but very difficult to open up to others honestly for fear of being labelled.

Following through a meet to keep an obligation wouldn't be great. Be honest and use non committal words, like feeling a bit under the weather as opposed to anxiety?"

Well true but I think I prefer to be honest and say that I'm a giant fruit loop

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

" I think, as most people already know, suffering depression and anxiety etc can manifest itself in so many different ways.

It's easy to over analyse in ones head, but very difficult to open up to others honestly for fear of being labelled.

Following through a meet to keep an obligation wouldn't be great. Be honest and use non committal words, like feeling a bit under the weather as opposed to anxiety?

Well true but I think I prefer to be honest and say that I'm a giant fruit loop"

You’re probably not a giant fruit loop. I understand the whole “self deprecating” thing but make sure it’s not in the narrative you tell yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I think, as most people already know, suffering depression and anxiety etc can manifest itself in so many different ways.

It's easy to over analyse in ones head, but very difficult to open up to others honestly for fear of being labelled.

Following through a meet to keep an obligation wouldn't be great. Be honest and use non committal words, like feeling a bit under the weather as opposed to anxiety?

Well true but I think I prefer to be honest and say that I'm a giant fruit loop"

You are not a fruit loop, we all have our demons and it’s good to talk...it’s always best to lower any expectations of meeting new people. Never feel alone help is there if needed through friendship and without judgement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you and how you feel are priority. Try not to overcommitt yourself or rush into anything when you are in your good form, so when it plummets you don't put a pressure on yourself. Or others don't..

You don't need to share everything about your challenges, unless you want to. In fact you dont have to share anything at all. There are other ways to phrase it. X

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Well true but I think I prefer to be honest and say that I'm a giant fruit loop"

That's it. Own it..

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By *forfun500Couple
over a year ago

walsall

I to suffer with this have done for 9 years on n off i used to hide it and just get on with it. I relapsed in 2017 and decided to tell people what was going on and tbh since being open people now understand why i do the things i do

Such as not turn up when i say i will.

I used to make excuses to get out of going places but now i just say i will see how i feel. And they understand if i dont turn up its so much easier than people thinking i just couldnt be arsed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffer. My family at home and friends understand, which is good. My mum totally doesn’t understand, and until recently my dad didn’t either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I definitely use fab as a means from escaping my worries.. doesnt always work.

Does anyone else find it hard to explain that you struggle ? Ie organising a social meet then changing your mind ? Mainly because of the crippling fear of rejection ?"

Just continue with using fab as an escape from anxiety and depression.

I struggle with many things and getting stressed about it does not help

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

"I to suffer with this have done for 9 years on n off i used to hide it and just get on with it. I relapsed in 2017 and decided to tell people what was going on and tbh since being open people now understand why i do the things i do

Such as not turn up when i say i will.

I used to make excuses to get out of going places but now i just say i will see how i feel. And they understand if i dont turn up its so much easier than people thinking i just couldnt be arsed.

I've taken this approach to. It seems to make things easier to deal with and I think I get over it quicker too.

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By *forfun500Couple
over a year ago

walsall

Such as not turn up when i say i will.

I used to make excuses to get out of going places but now i just say i will see how i feel. And they understand if i dont turn up its so much easier than people thinking i just couldnt be arsed.

I've taken this approach to. It seems to make things easier to deal with and I think I get over it quicker too. "

Yeah cause you dont feel as if you have let people down which makes you feel worse.

I find its easier to talk and prepare just incase

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think sex with strangers would be a good idea if I was suffering from depression or anxiety. I certainly wouldn't involve them in my issues. Fucking around does not improve mental health.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think sex with strangers would be a good idea if I was suffering from depression or anxiety. I certainly wouldn't involve them in my issues. Fucking around does not improve mental health. "

Kinda agree....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I think I suffer from this.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"I don't think sex with strangers would be a good idea if I was suffering from depression or anxiety. I certainly wouldn't involve them in my issues. Fucking around does not improve mental health. "

Just to show that everyone’s situation is different...

If you’re suffering because of physical rejection then rediscovering that actually people want to have sex with you can be a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you could go to the library or book shop and get a book on counselling skills and trying some of the techniques.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think sex with strangers would be a good idea if I was suffering from depression or anxiety. I certainly wouldn't involve them in my issues. Fucking around does not improve mental health.

Just to show that everyone’s situation is different...

If you’re suffering because of physical rejection then rediscovering that actually people want to have sex with you can be a good thing."

Until they don't....

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

I've had a lot of anxiety and depression issues in the past, and I used to go through phases of avoiding friends and social situations when it was particularly bad. I've since learned to swallow the anxiety down and force myself to do whatever it is my irrational anxiety is telling me not to. The anxiety is still there but I just treat it as background noise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for the other as we are all individuals - when I’ve been mentally poorly, I found social media and the internet space in general quite unhelpful.

Meeting people for the first and certainly putting myself through the situation of potentially being judged was not something I wanted to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I definitely use fab as a means from escaping my worries.. doesnt always work.

Does anyone else find it hard to explain that you struggle ? Ie organising a social meet then changing your mind ? Mainly because of the crippling fear of rejection ?"

With you on this one. Ive got ocd, ptsd and I worry. Ive had depression too.

Ive worried, but find that if doing diy jobs i research things and knowledge gives me control over things.

Same with sorting out admin problems like form filling, council, insurance, utility issues etc. I now analyse the problem before tackling it.

As for meeting up people i tend not to think there's anything going to happen. That way my expectations sre byilt up. Ive also a low opinion of myself so no pride to be hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think sex with strangers would be a good idea if I was suffering from depression or anxiety. I certainly wouldn't involve them in my issues. Fucking around does not improve mental health.

Just to show that everyone’s situation is different...

If you’re suffering because of physical rejection then rediscovering that actually people want to have sex with you can be a good thing."

And if all the people they mail either don't reply or reject them...... ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find Fab to be less than helpful when I'm dealing with periods of anxiety. While it's sometimes lovely, it's often a bit brutal on the old ego.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"I don't think sex with strangers would be a good idea if I was suffering from depression or anxiety. I certainly wouldn't involve them in my issues. Fucking around does not improve mental health.

Just to show that everyone’s situation is different...

If you’re suffering because of physical rejection then rediscovering that actually people want to have sex with you can be a good thing.

And if all the people they mail either don't reply or reject them...... ?"

Then that would be a bad thing.

However if some people reply, relate and connect it’s a good thing. I’ve had both happen at different times.

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