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Proactive women

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message first and I still allow myself a little rant from time to time. Because I can

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I message people I'm interested in, but the truth is I get so many messages that I wouldn't have to do that if I didn't want to. I don't moan about the men on here though, I fucking love them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get tired scrolling through hundreds of profiles, and 37iI'm terrible at making a choice about anything, so I let men message me.

It's worked well for me in the past.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get tired scrolling through hundreds of profiles, and 37iI'm terrible at making a choice about anything, so I let men message me.

It's worked well for me in the past. "

I don't really moan about men, but I do get a lot of men who can't accommodate message me. I say a polite no thank you to those ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I message people I'm interested in, but the truth is I get so many messages that I wouldn't have to do that if I didn't want to. I don't moan about the men on here though, I fucking love them. "

I think I speak for all men when I say we love you right back.

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By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes

I get a fair few messages... usually 'nice nipples' or 'wanna fuck'. They dont cut it.

I have messaged men.. but have had no reply and today found I have been blocked by one... which is a mystery. But it's rare women have to message as we are so outnumbered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go looking. My experience is no more positive than waiting for them to mail. The same desperate men with dire profiles. Doesn't matter if I find them or they find me, they're still crap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones I like are tooooo far away sadly.

So chatting will do for now

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I spend soooo much time reading my messages I hardly have time to post this. Pfffft.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I go looking. My experience is no more positive than waiting for them to mail. The same desperate men with dire profiles. Doesn't matter if I find them or they find me, they're still crap. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get a fair few messages... usually 'nice nipples' or 'wanna fuck'. They dont cut it.

I have messaged men.. but have had no reply and today found I have been blocked by one... which is a mystery. But it's rare women have to message as we are so outnumbered. "

There are more males on fab than females but far fewer men than women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have messaged guys first before

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke


"The ones I like are tooooo far away sadly.

So chatting will do for now"

I’m not to far, so means yr not interested lol

Nice pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never been massaged first in the years if been on here

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

is it not expected for guys to generally make the first contact in a bar etc. and if they come up with cheesy dickhead lines they'd get turned down? so why any different with online

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I read an interesting article a while ago which went along the lines of: the majority of flirting and approaches made to women is carried out by a minority of men, they are usually the self centred, full of themselves, god’s gift types and give a false negative impression of guys in general, subsequently the decent guys don’t get a look in. But if the women went looking, they’d be pleasantly surprised

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read an interesting article a while ago which went along the lines of: the majority of flirting and approaches made to women is carried out by a minority of men, they are usually the self centred, full of themselves, god’s gift types and give a false negative impression of guys in general, subsequently the decent guys don’t get a look in. But if the women went looking, they’d be pleasantly surprised "

Often when women mail men, the man assumes it's a fake profile. Or the man thinks it's a guaranteed fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So .... women have a voice these days. AND we are allowed to make choices?

Whatever next? We will be given the vote at this rate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get a fair few messages... usually 'nice nipples' or 'wanna fuck'. They dont cut it.

I have messaged men.. but have had no reply and today found I have been blocked by one... which is a mystery. But it's rare women have to message as we are so outnumbered.

There are more males on fab than females but far fewer men than women. "

Oh I like this!

P

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So .... women have a voice these days. AND we are allowed to make choices?

Whatever next? We will be given the vote at this rate! "

Oh blimey don’t mention voting, gonna more than enough of that word over the next couple of weeks lol

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"I go looking. My experience is no more positive than waiting for them to mail. The same desperate men with dire profiles. Doesn't matter if I find them or they find me, they're still crap. "

Oi, I may be desperate but don't diss my profile!

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"I read an interesting article a while ago which went along the lines of: the majority of flirting and approaches made to women is carried out by a minority of men, they are usually the self centred, full of themselves, god’s gift types and give a false negative impression of guys in general, subsequently the decent guys don’t get a look in. But if the women went looking, they’d be pleasantly surprised

Often when women mail men, the man assumes it's a fake profile. Or the man thinks it's a guaranteed fuck. "

I asked a lady to take a pic of herself holding that days newspaper and send it to me once as I didn't believe the pics I had seen were really of her, she did it too

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By *tevenwantstoMan
over a year ago

n dorset

Great feading the poats from the girls and getting thsir perspective

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By *urning the kinkMan
over a year ago

bristol


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?"

Fair comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes ladies, on yer bike and go find that man! Or me, yeah me, I’m taking about me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message when I see someone I’d like to chat to

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I will often message first if I like the look of someones profile.I don't have an issue with messaging first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?"

This is the best possible approach for women IMHO, provided they BLOCK all single guys and possibly couples first?

Then they just turn huntress and message those they like the look of and therefore choose who can actually message them by doing so?

They'd have to put a bit more effort in, but most blokes have to and do so it's not unmanageable really? In fact far less time-consuming and soul-sapping than trawling through hundreds of shit messages a day? True they'd have to deal with rejection from time to time, but whilst it would hit harder for most than with men they could remind themselves that no one is suited for everyone!

They'd still have meets, but with those they found appealing and without the huge gripe they have of dealing with an overflowing mailbox as that problem would be gone in an instant?

Can't understand why more ladies don't do it really? Plus if no lady could be messaged first at all, then the single male population would quickly drop as they realised it was just a sitting around waiting game and they couldn't message anyone first. The impatient amongst them.

A ratio of 2 guys to 1 lady tops would be possible which would please all the women on here who are usually snowed under who it really gets the goat of AND from the remaining men, a lot would also become choosier which would please the women as they'd much rather be meeting someone who WOULDN'T shag half the site I'd have thought?

B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?

This is the best possible approach for women IMHO, provided they BLOCK all single guys and possibly couples first?

Then they just turn huntress and message those they like the look of and therefore choose who can actually message them by doing so?

They'd have to put a bit more effort in, but most blokes have to and do so it's not unmanageable really? In fact far less time-consuming and soul-sapping than trawling through hundreds of shit messages a day? True they'd have to deal with rejection from time to time, but whilst it would hit harder for most than with men they could remind themselves that no one is suited for everyone!

They'd still have meets, but with those they found appealing and without the huge gripe they have of dealing with an overflowing mailbox as that problem would be gone in an instant?

Can't understand why more ladies don't do it really? Plus if no lady could be messaged first at all, then the single male population would quickly drop as they realised it was just a sitting around waiting game and they couldn't message anyone first. The impatient amongst them.

A ratio of 2 guys to 1 lady tops would be possible which would please all the women on here who are usually snowed under who it really gets the goat of AND from the remaining men, a lot would also become choosier which would please the women as they'd much rather be meeting someone who WOULDN'T shag half the site I'd have thought?

B"

Blimey you’ve thought about it more than I have lol

Good idea though, block guys from messaging first, even just for a while and see who it works out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rejection hurts men too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?

This is the best possible approach for women IMHO, provided they BLOCK all single guys and possibly couples first?

Then they just turn huntress and message those they like the look of and therefore choose who can actually message them by doing so?

They'd have to put a bit more effort in, but most blokes have to and do so it's not unmanageable really? In fact far less time-consuming and soul-sapping than trawling through hundreds of shit messages a day? True they'd have to deal with rejection from time to time, but whilst it would hit harder for most than with men they could remind themselves that no one is suited for everyone!

They'd still have meets, but with those they found appealing and without the huge gripe they have of dealing with an overflowing mailbox as that problem would be gone in an instant?

Can't understand why more ladies don't do it really? Plus if no lady could be messaged first at all, then the single male population would quickly drop as they realised it was just a sitting around waiting game and they couldn't message anyone first. The impatient amongst them.

A ratio of 2 guys to 1 lady tops would be possible which would please all the women on here who are usually snowed under who it really gets the goat of AND from the remaining men, a lot would also become choosier which would please the women as they'd much rather be meeting someone who WOULDN'T shag half the site I'd have thought?

B"

Thing is about blocking single guys is I don’t really want to. I’m not looking for men but I do enjoy forum games sometimes and chatting to forum people. I’m a chatterbox and some people I find really interesting so I love a good natter and have probably ended up making more friends than anything else on here which to be honest I never expected. I have however changed the “looking for” bit so to non forum fab men, TVs and couples it should actually come up this person isn’t looking for you but they still message!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seek out the men who interest and attract me, and I reply to the men who pique my interest and that I find attract based on their profile and pics. I don't criticise men on here as without them it'd be a vag fest.

Big shout out to the good fellas of fab , you're much appreciated x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seek out the men who interest and attract me, and I reply to the men who pique my interest and that I find attract based on their profile and pics. I don't criticise men on here as without them it'd be a vag fest.

Big shout out to the good fellas of fab , you're much appreciated x"

And so are you beautiful progressive women xx

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"I message first and I still allow myself a little rant from time to time. Because I can "
I'd love to hear from you; your profile is glorious

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

Welsh Lass

I don’t message anyone. The first and last time that i did i was accused of doing it out of pity and that they didn’t need pity blah blah blah. That pretty much killed my confidence stone cold dead.

So now i just go on messages i receive and see if there is chemistry.

My availability is pretty shite anyway so waiting for someone that gets me excited to meet to cross my path is no hardship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seek out the men who interest and attract me, and I reply to the men who pique my interest and that I find attract based on their profile and pics. I don't criticise men on here as without them it'd be a vag fest.

Big shout out to the good fellas of fab , you're much appreciated x

And so are you beautiful progressive women xx"

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t message anyone. The first and last time that i did i was accused of doing it out of pity and that they didn’t need pity blah blah blah. That pretty much killed my confidence stone cold dead.

So now i just go on messages i receive and see if there is chemistry.

My availability is pretty shite anyway so waiting for someone that gets me excited to meet to cross my path is no hardship.

"

Insecurity is a big issue on here I think, which that guy clearly was and the knock on effect on your confidence is entirely undeserved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t message anyone. The first and last time that i did i was accused of doing it out of pity and that they didn’t need pity blah blah blah. That pretty much killed my confidence stone cold dead.

So now i just go on messages i receive and see if there is chemistry.

My availability is pretty shite anyway so waiting for someone that gets me excited to meet to cross my path is no hardship.

"

Surely though that should have the opposite effect on confidence? As he thought you were messaging him as you pitied HIM, not that you were in any way lacking?

B

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

Welsh Lass


"I don’t message anyone. The first and last time that i did i was accused of doing it out of pity and that they didn’t need pity blah blah blah. That pretty much killed my confidence stone cold dead.

So now i just go on messages i receive and see if there is chemistry.

My availability is pretty shite anyway so waiting for someone that gets me excited to meet to cross my path is no hardship.

Surely though that should have the opposite effect on confidence? As he thought you were messaging him as you pitied HIM, not that you were in any way lacking?

B"

I’m actually quite shy so it took a lot of balls on my part to message him, but he was quite unpleasant about it being a pity message (which it wasn’t). And it just took the wind out of my sails.

I’m quite sensitive really

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By *ocodoughnutgirlWoman
over a year ago

Sea of jelly and doughnuts

I've messaged men first.

It is quite frustrating though as quite a few profiles (not all) have very little to go on. So sending a message has to be generic and impersonal.

I'm all about making connections and I can chat for England, so having common interests help.....

Guys show me your personalities,be it nerd or geek make it easier for us women to send you fabulous messages.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I message men first. I search for them myself based and also if I spot anyone on the forums who is local and takes my fancy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I go looking. My experience is no more positive than waiting for them to mail. The same desperate men with dire profiles. Doesn't matter if I find them or they find me, they're still crap.

Oi, I may be desperate but don't diss my profile! "

I meant local men. Your bird keeps you decent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've messaged men first.

It is quite frustrating though as quite a few profiles (not all) have very little to go on. So sending a message has to be generic and impersonal.

I'm all about making connections and I can chat for England, so having common interests help.....

Guys show me your personalities,be it nerd or geek make it easier for us women to send you fabulous messages. "

Don't message those who say bugger all about themselves then? Problem solved!

B

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By *ocodoughnutgirlWoman
over a year ago

Sea of jelly and doughnuts


"I've messaged men first.

It is quite frustrating though as quite a few profiles (not all) have very little to go on. So sending a message has to be generic and impersonal.

I'm all about making connections and I can chat for England, so having common interests help.....

Guys show me your personalities,be it nerd or geek make it easier for us women to send you fabulous messages.

Don't message those who say bugger all about themselves then? Problem solved!

B"

I don't...

I was just pointing out that more men would get messages if they put more effort into their profiles.

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Yep I message first .... if I see someone that really catches my eye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've messaged men first.

It is quite frustrating though as quite a few profiles (not all) have very little to go on. So sending a message has to be generic and impersonal.

I'm all about making connections and I can chat for England, so having common interests help.....

Guys show me your personalities,be it nerd or geek make it easier for us women to send you fabulous messages.

Don't message those who say bugger all about themselves then? Problem solved!

B

I don't...

I was just pointing out that more men would get messages if they put more effort into their profiles. "

Ah, fair play.

I would have thought this was obvious (for those whose profiles do this not you) that if they put more in they get more out really?

Though I know this isn't often the case..

B

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?"

You're way off the mark, I'm very proactive but I still get the messages from idiots who don't read my profile or are just general twats. Me messaging/winking etc doesn't make any difference.

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By *eilde HoarWoman
over a year ago

In a wax coated bubble

My brain is wired to think outside the box and I am looking for similar men so I use certain phrases as my status updates to attract what I want...

It works for me

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph

I have mailed first in the past. It never led to a meet, but they piqued my interest enough from a good profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?"

A lot are proactive I would rather look to see who i like I dont make do with the smaller pool who message me I guess people are not proactive in messaging you as you are not experiencing it but then women who are proactive can be selective.

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By *uriouscat71Woman
over a year ago

Bristol

As a bbw I wouldn’t just message someone. Love looking tho. You men are gorgeous!

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"As a bbw I wouldn’t just message someone. Love looking tho. You men are gorgeous!"

Go for it! I do and I've got multiple loads of junk in my trunk, I've met a few guys I've messaged first

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

There are proactive women here. They're called men. Either tv's or falsely claiming to be women.

I have a simple rule. Unsolicited message from a woman= man

Only been wrong twice

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I know exactly what im looking for on Fab and quite happy to find them myself. This is clearly stated in my profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women who message men first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are proactive women here. They're called men. Either tv's or falsely claiming to be women.

I have a simple rule. Unsolicited message from a woman= man

Only been wrong twice"

Omg. I recently met someone AMAZING because I messaged him first. Way from the only time it's happened.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"There are proactive women here. They're called men. Either tv's or falsely claiming to be women.

I have a simple rule. Unsolicited message from a woman= man

Only been wrong twice"

Was it only two women who messaged you?

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors."

I shop

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By *ak4uMan
over a year ago

chelmsford

From a guys point of view I think he has to be a bit of a pest and put himself out there to get any attention and to get himself noticed, women might not like it but it does pay off for that type of guy I think. On the other hand I'm a quiet, considerate guy who doesn't hassle women and respects their bounderies etc....and I get absolutely nowhere lol.

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By *carlett AllureWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I will happily message profiles that interest me first, doesn’t stop the utter tripe that message me meaning a lot of the times the genuine ones get lost in messages and slow replies can kill the flow of conversation

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"There are proactive women here. They're called men. Either tv's or falsely claiming to be women.

I have a simple rule. Unsolicited message from a woman= man

Only been wrong twice"

Well, I'm a woman and I message first.

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By *arracksCouple
over a year ago

Deal


"So .... women have a voice these days. AND we are allowed to make choices?

Whatever next? We will be given the vote at this rate! "

Haha! Fucking love this,well said!

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"There are proactive women here. They're called men. Either tv's or falsely claiming to be women.

I have a simple rule. Unsolicited message from a woman= man

Only been wrong twice

Was it only two women who messaged you? "

Haha, in a lifetime, considerably more. All men or scammers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are proactive women here. They're called men. Either tv's or falsely claiming to be women.

I have a simple rule. Unsolicited message from a woman= man

Only been wrong twice

Was it only two women who messaged you?

Haha, in a lifetime, considerably more. All men or scammers"

Maybe that's just you. Maybe other guys get genuine women messaging them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do girlies ready to message when the inbox is bursting! Well not all messages are the ones they really want so guys girls couples you might be lucky if you do send one.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors."

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I rarely message first because I don’t have time to wade through all the profiles on here looking for the rare few that don’t just say “fill in later”. Also it takes a fair bit of time just to deal with incoming messages. And yes, I know I can use the filters, but then I can’t see when filtered people look at my profile, so it’s kind of a nuisance.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"I go looking. My experience is no more positive than waiting for them to mail. The same desperate men with dire profiles. Doesn't matter if I find them or they find me, they're still crap. "

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I will message those who catch my eye, but to be fair not many do!

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!"

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a bbw I wouldn’t just message someone. Love looking tho. You men are gorgeous!"

You look hot as hell to me. I can guarantee you with no doubt at all that this place is full of quality men who would be overjoyed to get a message from you. Obviously you should never do anything you're not comfortable with but don't ever think you shouldn't message because of that. It's so not true xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rarely message first because I don’t have time to wade through all the profiles on here looking for the rare few that don’t just say “fill in later”. Also it takes a fair bit of time just to deal with incoming messages. And yes, I know I can use the filters, but then I can’t see when filtered people look at my profile, so it’s kind of a nuisance."

A good tip is to get acquainted with other female profiles that are well presented and from their verifications seem to meet regularly with guys that clearly will show up and have something going for them?

Then message THOSE guys, or at least the ones who take your fancy. You say it's time consuming, but to get round that BLOCK all single guys.

Then you won't have anything in your mailbox from any other guy except those you choose to message first, thereby lifting the block for them. Job done and it's actually quicker.

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"I rarely message first because I don’t have time to wade through all the profiles on here looking for the rare few that don’t just say “fill in later”. Also it takes a fair bit of time just to deal with incoming messages. And yes, I know I can use the filters, but then I can’t see when filtered people look at my profile, so it’s kind of a nuisance."

I know, all those pesky messages. What a drag.

Men go wading and spend considerable time messaging,only for them to be deleted.

It takes time and effort to find the right person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rarely message first because I don’t have time to wade through all the profiles on here looking for the rare few that don’t just say “fill in later”. Also it takes a fair bit of time just to deal with incoming messages. And yes, I know I can use the filters, but then I can’t see when filtered people look at my profile, so it’s kind of a nuisance."

A good tip is to get acquainted with other female profiles that are well presented and from their verifications seem to meet regularly with guys that clearly will show up and have something going for them?

Then message THOSE guys, or at least the ones who take your fancy. You say it's time consuming, but to get round that BLOCK all single guys.

Then you won't have anything in your mailbox from any other guy except those you choose to message first, thereby lifting the block for them. Job done and it's actually quicker.

B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I will happily message profiles that interest me first, doesn’t stop the utter tripe that message me meaning a lot of the times the genuine ones get lost in messages and slow replies can kill the flow of conversation"

Again, block all single guys first. Job done.

B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do girlies really need* to message when the inbox is bursting! Well not all messages are the ones they really want so guys girls couples you might be lucky if you do send one. "

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"I will message those who catch my eye, but to be fair not many do! "

Such is the nature of dating. Few are appealing.

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By *rufinWoman
over a year ago

notts


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?

This is the best possible approach for women IMHO, provided they BLOCK all single guys and possibly couples first?

Then they just turn huntress and message those they like the look of and therefore choose who can actually message them by doing so?

They'd have to put a bit more effort in, but most blokes have to and do so it's not unmanageable really? In fact far less time-consuming and soul-sapping than trawling through hundreds of shit messages a day? True they'd have to deal with rejection from time to time, but whilst it would hit harder for most than with men they could remind themselves that no one is suited for everyone!

They'd still have meets, but with those they found appealing and without the huge gripe they have of dealing with an overflowing mailbox as that problem would be gone in an instant?

Can't understand why more ladies don't do it really? Plus if no lady could be messaged first at all, then the single male population would quickly drop as they realised it was just a sitting around waiting game and they couldn't message anyone first. The impatient amongst them.

A ratio of 2 guys to 1 lady tops would be possible which would please all the women on here who are usually snowed under who it really gets the goat of AND from the remaining men, a lot would also become choosier which would please the women as they'd much rather be meeting someone who WOULDN'T shag half the site I'd have thought?

B"

This is exactly how I now use the site.

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"I go looking. My experience is no more positive than waiting for them to mail. The same desperate men with dire profiles. Doesn't matter if I find them or they find me, they're still crap.

"

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

Brufin has worked it out. Sensible approach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When women approach men, I've noticed that they're terrible at it. As much as women complain about uncreative or short messages, I have never gotten anything resembling a quality opening line from a woman.

Because they don't need to.Simply being a women is enough to guarantee you interest on this kind of site. Why put any effort into a pick up line when all you need to do is show up.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?

This is the best possible approach for women IMHO, provided they BLOCK all single guys and possibly couples first?

Then they just turn huntress and message those they like the look of and therefore choose who can actually message them by doing so?

They'd have to put a bit more effort in, but most blokes have to and do so it's not unmanageable really? In fact far less time-consuming and soul-sapping than trawling through hundreds of shit messages a day? True they'd have to deal with rejection from time to time, but whilst it would hit harder for most than with men they could remind themselves that no one is suited for everyone!

They'd still have meets, but with those they found appealing and without the huge gripe they have of dealing with an overflowing mailbox as that problem would be gone in an instant?

Can't understand why more ladies don't do it really? Plus if no lady could be messaged first at all, then the single male population would quickly drop as they realised it was just a sitting around waiting game and they couldn't message anyone first. The impatient amongst them.

A ratio of 2 guys to 1 lady tops would be possible which would please all the women on here who are usually snowed under who it really gets the goat of AND from the remaining men, a lot would also become choosier which would please the women as they'd much rather be meeting someone who WOULDN'T shag half the site I'd have thought?

B"

I'd leave the site if I couldn't be messaged first.

Maybe instead of us women having to block men, the men should behave themselves and not act like dogs with 2 dicks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

A good tip is to get acquainted with other female profiles that are well presented and from their verifications seem to meet regularly with guys that clearly will show up and have something going for them?

Then message THOSE guys, or at least the ones who take your fancy. You say it's time consuming, but to get round that BLOCK all single guys.

Then you won't have anything in your mailbox from any other guy except those you choose to message first, thereby lifting the block for them. Job done and it's actually quicker.

B"

One major flaw with this, assuming everyone did this, is that you'd end up with a group of guys who have met up with some women or couples, and gotten recommended to their friends and so on. Those guys would get messages and meets, while nobody else would get a chance, even if they would show up. So you'd basically stop anyone new from meeting people, since you need to meet people for anyone to want to meet you. It'd be a catch 22.

That would kill this website off in short order. You need new guys coming in to replace the ones that decide to stop swinging, or go elsewhere. And if the new guys don't get the opportunity to meet anyone because they're not approved by having already met people,they're going to go elsewhere, and that means they're not spending money on the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When women approach men, I've noticed that they're terrible at it. As much as women complain about uncreative or short messages, I have never gotten anything resembling a quality opening line from a woman.

Because they don't need to.Simply being a women is enough to guarantee you interest on this kind of site. Why put any effort into a pick up line when all you need to do is show up."

I'd never do that. If I message a man it's because I've seen something in his profile that's attracted me and I'll say so. I'll ask a question and give him a decent opportunity to engage and respond with something other than "fine thanks." I'll send a face pic and if he doesn't respond I delete the message and forget it. If you didn't mean all women then say so. I'd never think or behave like you describe.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

"

I would never, ever do that - I can’t stand being messaged from a hidden profile so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else.

Besides, until you’ve searched through the pages of empty profiles that men on here seem to think are acceptable, you don’t appreciate just how much pointless hard work that would be. Literally no-one has time for that, it’d be a full time job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?

This is the best possible approach for women IMHO, provided they BLOCK all single guys and possibly couples first?

Then they just turn huntress and message those they like the look of and therefore choose who can actually message them by doing so?

They'd have to put a bit more effort in, but most blokes have to and do so it's not unmanageable really? In fact far less time-consuming and soul-sapping than trawling through hundreds of shit messages a day? True they'd have to deal with rejection from time to time, but whilst it would hit harder for most than with men they could remind themselves that no one is suited for everyone!

They'd still have meets, but with those they found appealing and without the huge gripe they have of dealing with an overflowing mailbox as that problem would be gone in an instant?

Can't understand why more ladies don't do it really? Plus if no lady could be messaged first at all, then the single male population would quickly drop as they realised it was just a sitting around waiting game and they couldn't message anyone first. The impatient amongst them.

A ratio of 2 guys to 1 lady tops would be possible which would please all the women on here who are usually snowed under who it really gets the goat of AND from the remaining men, a lot would also become choosier which would please the women as they'd much rather be meeting someone who WOULDN'T shag half the site I'd have thought?

B

I'd leave the site if I couldn't be messaged first.

Maybe instead of us women having to block men, the men should behave themselves and not act like dogs with 2 dicks?"

There's probably only up to 25% of the men at the very most that do act like that. The problem is that 25% usually carpet bomb every woman or couple within a certain radius of them meaning that the 25% of dickheads account for 90% of mail in your inbox. Of the rest the biggest group of average guys (say 60% of the men in here) will mail less as they'd take more time on a message and have occasional success, so you'd have 9-10% of messages from these. The most successful guys who get the scene and have most other qualities women tend to seek may account for up to 15% of guys on here, but guess what? They're mailing practically NO ONE first, except the odd mail here and there as they don't need to often. So while they make up 15% of guys, they'll make up quite a bit less than 1% of the average female mailbox.

Doing as I have suggested kills this problem stone dead. No mailboxes stuffed with shit any more, whatsoever. Only men messaging you would be from the number of your chosen ones that you messaged first, the ones in demand with good reason.

Your conversations would be far easier to manage without the heap of shite emails getting in the way and you'd have nothing to fear. You may get rejection from time to time, but even if you got rejected from half of the group of men in demand because they were fully booked up with meets or whatever, regularly meeting with those you cherry picked who tick ALL your boxes with less actual time spent would make up for this?

Plus most men on here get rejected by far more than half and it doesn't exactly deter them so it's nothing to be scared of really?

B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

A good tip is to get acquainted with other female profiles that are well presented and from their verifications seem to meet regularly with guys that clearly will show up and have something going for them?

Then message THOSE guys, or at least the ones who take your fancy. You say it's time consuming, but to get round that BLOCK all single guys.

Then you won't have anything in your mailbox from any other guy except those you choose to message first, thereby lifting the block for them. Job done and it's actually quicker.

B

One major flaw with this, assuming everyone did this, is that you'd end up with a group of guys who have met up with some women or couples, and gotten recommended to their friends and so on. Those guys would get messages and meets, while nobody else would get a chance, even if they would show up. So you'd basically stop anyone new from meeting people, since you need to meet people for anyone to want to meet you. It'd be a catch 22.

That would kill this website off in short order. You need new guys coming in to replace the ones that decide to stop swinging, or go elsewhere. And if the new guys don't get the opportunity to meet anyone because they're not approved by having already met people,they're going to go elsewhere, and that means they're not spending money on the site."

New guys would meet people by going to clubs, socials, knowing people in real life or attending events that are men heavy such as GBs etc. There's never going to be a dearth of single guys ha! Just a lot smaller ratio, say 2 to 1.

B

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

When I joined fab as a single guy I tried the obvious route first of considered, polite targeted messages to women who appealed to me. I soon realised the results were poor and in no way justified the time invested.

So the next option was spamming out copy and paste messages to every single woman's profile I came across to see if I got a bite (reply), if I did I would then check out the profile to see if I was actually interested in them (most of the time I wasn't)

So I came to the conclusion messaging women was on balance a waste of my time. From that point on I very rarely messaged first and thought more about how I could get noticed via using other features of fab. It didn't take long before I had more meets lined up than I could manage to make.

Bottom line is that messaging first is pretty much a waste of time for single guys imo, yes you will occasionally get lucky but it's really not the best way to invest your time. That's my experience anyway, you can thank me later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never met anyone who messaged me first, it always seems to be men I've reached out to. I dont tend to get a lot of messages though so they dont bother me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

I would never, ever do that - I can’t stand being messaged from a hidden profile so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else.

Besides, until you’ve searched through the pages of empty profiles that men on here seem to think are acceptable, you don’t appreciate just how much pointless hard work that would be. Literally no-one has time for that, it’d be a full time job."

Again no woman in her right mind should do that. Instead find successful women close to you who seem to have something about them and go through their lists of regular meet verifications. Much quicker and usually better quality blokes as a result.

B

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By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes


"I get a fair few messages... usually 'nice nipples' or 'wanna fuck'. They dont cut it.

I have messaged men.. but have had no reply and today found I have been blocked by one... which is a mystery. But it's rare women have to message as we are so outnumbered.

There are more males on fab than females but far fewer men than women. "

What?

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I rarely message first because I don’t have time to wade through all the profiles on here looking for the rare few that don’t just say “fill in later”. Also it takes a fair bit of time just to deal with incoming messages. And yes, I know I can use the filters, but then I can’t see when filtered people look at my profile, so it’s kind of a nuisance.

A good tip is to get acquainted with other female profiles that are well presented and from their verifications seem to meet regularly with guys that clearly will show up and have something going for them?

Then message THOSE guys, or at least the ones who take your fancy. You say it's time consuming, but to get round that BLOCK all single guys.

Then you won't have anything in your mailbox from any other guy except those you choose to message first, thereby lifting the block for them. Job done and it's actually quicker. "

As I said, I don’t like message filters much because if you filter a group out you can’t see when that group views your profile. The few people I’ve messaged first have been people who viewed my profile who I liked the look of.

Besides, if I’m looking at the profile of a nice looking woman, I’m probably going to message HER, not her veris!

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I love proactive women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rarely message first because I don’t have time to wade through all the profiles on here looking for the rare few that don’t just say “fill in later”. Also it takes a fair bit of time just to deal with incoming messages. And yes, I know I can use the filters, but then I can’t see when filtered people look at my profile, so it’s kind of a nuisance.

A good tip is to get acquainted with other female profiles that are well presented and from their verifications seem to meet regularly with guys that clearly will show up and have something going for them?

Then message THOSE guys, or at least the ones who take your fancy. You say it's time consuming, but to get round that BLOCK all single guys.

Then you won't have anything in your mailbox from any other guy except those you choose to message first, thereby lifting the block for them. Job done and it's actually quicker.

B"

I don't want sex with men the rest of the women in my area have had sex with. I like fresh meat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rarely message first because I don’t have time to wade through all the profiles on here looking for the rare few that don’t just say “fill in later”. Also it takes a fair bit of time just to deal with incoming messages. And yes, I know I can use the filters, but then I can’t see when filtered people look at my profile, so it’s kind of a nuisance.

A good tip is to get acquainted with other female profiles that are well presented and from their verifications seem to meet regularly with guys that clearly will show up and have something going for them?

Then message THOSE guys, or at least the ones who take your fancy. You say it's time consuming, but to get round that BLOCK all single guys.

Then you won't have anything in your mailbox from any other guy except those you choose to message first, thereby lifting the block for them. Job done and it's actually quicker.

As I said, I don’t like message filters much because if you filter a group out you can’t see when that group views your profile. The few people I’ve messaged first have been people who viewed my profile who I liked the look of.

Besides, if I’m looking at the profile of a nice looking woman, I’m probably going to message HER, not her veris!"

Yes, but you wouldn't need to rely on profile views as a search tool. It's more hit and miss and more time-consuming, after all any old Tom, Dick and Harry can view it? And the fact that you'd be interested in the lady upon whose profile the veris of acceptable men are on merely makes it a better strategy time wise.

Two birds with one stone.

B

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Women are proactive on here, it still doesn’t stop them receiving crude messages, unless we completely block everyone.

Blocking everyone is not something I choose to do, purely because occasionally someone comes along that wouldn’t be in my search and it all just clicks.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

I would never, ever do that - I can’t stand being messaged from a hidden profile so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else.

Besides, until you’ve searched through the pages of empty profiles that men on here seem to think are acceptable, you don’t appreciate just how much pointless hard work that would be. Literally no-one has time for that, it’d be a full time job.

Again no woman in her right mind should do that. Instead find successful women close to you who seem to have something about them and go through their lists of regular meet verifications. Much quicker and usually better quality blokes as a result.

B"

Yeah who will also have multiple regulars and no time for me

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By *uriouscat71Woman
over a year ago

Bristol


"As a bbw I wouldn’t just message someone. Love looking tho. You men are gorgeous!

You look hot as hell to me. I can guarantee you with no doubt at all that this place is full of quality men who would be overjoyed to get a message from you. Obviously you should never do anything you're not comfortable with but don't ever think you shouldn't message because of that. It's so not true xxx"

Awww your a bless. Maybe I’ll have a go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love proactive women "

Chillout! Will you marry me!!

Howzat for proactivity?

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I've messaged quite a few first

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

I would never, ever do that - I can’t stand being messaged from a hidden profile so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else.

Besides, until you’ve searched through the pages of empty profiles that men on here seem to think are acceptable, you don’t appreciate just how much pointless hard work that would be. Literally no-one has time for that, it’d be a full time job.

Again no woman in her right mind should do that. Instead find successful women close to you who seem to have something about them and go through their lists of regular meet verifications. Much quicker and usually better quality blokes as a result.

B"

You seem to think I need help - I really don’t. I perfectly successful thanks. I’m simply explaining why I don’t bother to message men first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

I would never, ever do that - I can’t stand being messaged from a hidden profile so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else.

Besides, until you’ve searched through the pages of empty profiles that men on here seem to think are acceptable, you don’t appreciate just how much pointless hard work that would be. Literally no-one has time for that, it’d be a full time job.

Again no woman in her right mind should do that. Instead find successful women close to you who seem to have something about them and go through their lists of regular meet verifications. Much quicker and usually better quality blokes as a result.

B

Yeah who will also have multiple regulars and no time for me "

Like I said, that is one issue. But even if half of them are too busy so what? Let's say you find 8 decent blokes. You get rejected from 4 as they're too busy already and the other 4 make for wonderful meets. You'd have to comb through much more than 8 blokes to find 4 decent ones normally, especially when your mailbox is one of the major tools you use, open to all and sundry?

Much more efficient and proactive.

B

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest


"I love proactive women

Chillout! Will you marry me!!

Howzat for proactivity? "

There's proactive, and then there's proactive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rarely message first because I don’t have time to wade through all the profiles on here looking for the rare few that don’t just say “fill in later”. Also it takes a fair bit of time just to deal with incoming messages. And yes, I know I can use the filters, but then I can’t see when filtered people look at my profile, so it’s kind of a nuisance.

A good tip is to get acquainted with other female profiles that are well presented and from their verifications seem to meet regularly with guys that clearly will show up and have something going for them?

Then message THOSE guys, or at least the ones who take your fancy. You say it's time consuming, but to get round that BLOCK all single guys.

Then you won't have anything in your mailbox from any other guy except those you choose to message first, thereby lifting the block for them. Job done and it's actually quicker.

B

I don't want sex with men the rest of the women in my area have had sex with. I like fresh meat "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a bbw I wouldn’t just message someone. Love looking tho. You men are gorgeous!

You look hot as hell to me. I can guarantee you with no doubt at all that this place is full of quality men who would be overjoyed to get a message from you. Obviously you should never do anything you're not comfortable with but don't ever think you shouldn't message because of that. It's so not true xxx

Awww your a bless. Maybe I’ll have a go "

I'm not bullshitting you, chick, I promise. I hid behind a screen for years thinking no one would ever want to spank me cos I was far too big. I was so wrong it was hilarious. You do what you feel happy with but don't think like I did cos it honestly is bollocks xxx

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I rarely message first because I don’t have time to wade through all the profiles on here looking for the rare few that don’t just say “fill in later”. Also it takes a fair bit of time just to deal with incoming messages. And yes, I know I can use the filters, but then I can’t see when filtered people look at my profile, so it’s kind of a nuisance.

A good tip is to get acquainted with other female profiles that are well presented and from their verifications seem to meet regularly with guys that clearly will show up and have something going for them?

Then message THOSE guys, or at least the ones who take your fancy. You say it's time consuming, but to get round that BLOCK all single guys.

Then you won't have anything in your mailbox from any other guy except those you choose to message first, thereby lifting the block for them. Job done and it's actually quicker.

As I said, I don’t like message filters much because if you filter a group out you can’t see when that group views your profile. The few people I’ve messaged first have been people who viewed my profile who I liked the look of.

Besides, if I’m looking at the profile of a nice looking woman, I’m probably going to message HER, not her veris!

Yes, but you wouldn't need to rely on profile views as a search tool. It's more hit and miss and more time-consuming, after all any old Tom, Dick and Harry can view it? And the fact that you'd be interested in the lady upon whose profile the veris of acceptable men are on merely makes it a better strategy time wise.

Two birds with one stone.

B"

I don’t “rely” on it, I just like being able to see who’s looking. And frankly, people aren’t always truthful in veris so I don’t rely on them either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rarely message first because I don’t have time to wade through all the profiles on here looking for the rare few that don’t just say “fill in later”. Also it takes a fair bit of time just to deal with incoming messages. And yes, I know I can use the filters, but then I can’t see when filtered people look at my profile, so it’s kind of a nuisance.

A good tip is to get acquainted with other female profiles that are well presented and from their verifications seem to meet regularly with guys that clearly will show up and have something going for them?

Then message THOSE guys, or at least the ones who take your fancy. You say it's time consuming, but to get round that BLOCK all single guys.

Then you won't have anything in your mailbox from any other guy except those you choose to message first, thereby lifting the block for them. Job done and it's actually quicker.

B

I don't want sex with men the rest of the women in my area have had sex with. I like fresh meat

"

Ha! That's interesting, I never thought of that. But I must admit my thought would be "you ain't seen nothin yet!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

I would never, ever do that - I can’t stand being messaged from a hidden profile so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else.

Besides, until you’ve searched through the pages of empty profiles that men on here seem to think are acceptable, you don’t appreciate just how much pointless hard work that would be. Literally no-one has time for that, it’d be a full time job.

Again no woman in her right mind should do that. Instead find successful women close to you who seem to have something about them and go through their lists of regular meet verifications. Much quicker and usually better quality blokes as a result.

B

You seem to think I need help - I really don’t. I perfectly successful thanks. I’m simply explaining why I don’t bother to message men first."

I wasn't suggesting that you weren't successful on here, any woman can be provided she approaches Fab in the right frame of mind and you've found a strategy that works for you after all. I was merely suggesting a way in which you could knock your bugbear of searching through empty profiles on the head in one go and rid your mailbox of all shite into the bargain.

B

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

I would never, ever do that - I can’t stand being messaged from a hidden profile so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else.

Besides, until you’ve searched through the pages of empty profiles that men on here seem to think are acceptable, you don’t appreciate just how much pointless hard work that would be. Literally no-one has time for that, it’d be a full time job.

Again no woman in her right mind should do that. Instead find successful women close to you who seem to have something about them and go through their lists of regular meet verifications. Much quicker and usually better quality blokes as a result.

B

Yeah who will also have multiple regulars and no time for me

Like I said, that is one issue. But even if half of them are too busy so what? Let's say you find 8 decent blokes. You get rejected from 4 as they're too busy already and the other 4 make for wonderful meets. You'd have to comb through much more than 8 blokes to find 4 decent ones normally, especially when your mailbox is one of the major tools you use, open to all and sundry?

Much more efficient and proactive.

B"

Also potentially missing out on decent men that don't show up on people's veris. Or new guys that are decent. Plus, ask P, there's some crazy ass women round here that I'd avoid like the plague

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By *ocodoughnutgirlWoman
over a year ago

Sea of jelly and doughnuts


"I've messaged men first.

It is quite frustrating though as quite a few profiles (not all) have very little to go on. So sending a message has to be generic and impersonal.

I'm all about making connections and I can chat for England, so having common interests help.....

Guys show me your personalities,be it nerd or geek make it easier for us women to send you fabulous messages.

Don't message those who say bugger all about themselves then? Problem solved!

B

I don't...

I was just pointing out that more men would get messages if they put more effort into their profiles.

Ah, fair play.

I would have thought this was obvious (for those whose profiles do this not you) that if they put more in they get more out really?

Though I know this isn't often the case..

B"

Another way I attract guys I'm looking for, is to put something I'm interested in as my status.... Then if they're into the same things we have a conversation starter.

I met my Fwb this way and have spoken to lots of interesting people who I hope to meet in person one day.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

I would never, ever do that - I can’t stand being messaged from a hidden profile so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else.

Besides, until you’ve searched through the pages of empty profiles that men on here seem to think are acceptable, you don’t appreciate just how much pointless hard work that would be. Literally no-one has time for that, it’d be a full time job.

Again no woman in her right mind should do that. Instead find successful women close to you who seem to have something about them and go through their lists of regular meet verifications. Much quicker and usually better quality blokes as a result.

B

You seem to think I need help - I really don’t. I perfectly successful thanks. I’m simply explaining why I don’t bother to message men first.

I wasn't suggesting that you weren't successful on here, any woman can be provided she approaches Fab in the right frame of mind and you've found a strategy that works for you after all. I was merely suggesting a way in which you could knock your bugbear of searching through empty profiles on the head in one go and rid your mailbox of all shite into the bargain.

B"

I don’t search though, not for men, there’s no point. Maybe one day when I win the lottery and have the time to do so and for all the meets I will lol!

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"From a guys point of view I think he has to be a bit of a pest and put himself out there to get any attention and to get himself noticed, women might not like it but it does pay off for that type of guy I think. On the other hand I'm a quiet, considerate guy who doesn't hassle women and respects their bounderies etc....and I get absolutely nowhere lol.

"

Yup, that about sums it up.

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

I would never, ever do that - I can’t stand being messaged from a hidden profile so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else.

Besides, until you’ve searched through the pages of empty profiles that men on here seem to think are acceptable, you don’t appreciate just how much pointless hard work that would be. Literally no-one has time for that, it’d be a full time job.

Again no woman in her right mind should do that. Instead find successful women close to you who seem to have something about them and go through their lists of regular meet verifications. Much quicker and usually better quality blokes as a result.

B

You seem to think I need help - I really don’t. I perfectly successful thanks. I’m simply explaining why I don’t bother to message men first."

Because you don't need to. The drones will keep coming to the Queen bee.

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

There's a lot of very sensible stuff on this thread.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"There are proactive women here. They're called men. Either tv's or falsely claiming to be women.

I have a simple rule. Unsolicited message from a woman= man

Only been wrong twice"

Wow never realised I was really a man. Thanks for telling me.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

I would never, ever do that - I can’t stand being messaged from a hidden profile so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else.

Besides, until you’ve searched through the pages of empty profiles that men on here seem to think are acceptable, you don’t appreciate just how much pointless hard work that would be. Literally no-one has time for that, it’d be a full time job.

Again no woman in her right mind should do that. Instead find successful women close to you who seem to have something about them and go through their lists of regular meet verifications. Much quicker and usually better quality blokes as a result.

B

You seem to think I need help - I really don’t. I perfectly successful thanks. I’m simply explaining why I don’t bother to message men first.

Because you don't need to. The drones will keep coming to the Queen bee. "

Who invited negative Nancy to the party?

If you hate the women here so much, why stay?

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?"

I do all the chasing.. x

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"There's a lot of very sensible stuff on this thread."

There's quite a lot of pish as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women ought to shop for what they want but seem content with wading through the mail from possible suitors.

You say that but in literally your previous post you said that if you get an unsolicited message from a woman you assume it’s a man. So what exactly do you think we should be doing!

Ignoring all the messaging from thirsties/ hiding your profile and message those you think might be great.

The man will think it's a dodgy message but will soon realise youre real as we think the worst but hope for the best.

Go on, start a trend

I would never, ever do that - I can’t stand being messaged from a hidden profile so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else.

Besides, until you’ve searched through the pages of empty profiles that men on here seem to think are acceptable, you don’t appreciate just how much pointless hard work that would be. Literally no-one has time for that, it’d be a full time job.

Again no woman in her right mind should do that. Instead find successful women close to you who seem to have something about them and go through their lists of regular meet verifications. Much quicker and usually better quality blokes as a result.

B

You seem to think I need help - I really don’t. I perfectly successful thanks. I’m simply explaining why I don’t bother to message men first.

Because you don't need to. The drones will keep coming to the Queen bee.

Who invited negative Nancy to the party?

If you hate the women here so much, why stay?"

Honey would certainly sweeten that bitterness...

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"There's a lot of very sensible stuff on this thread.

There's quite a lot of pish as well"

Most of it is men telling women what they should be doing to stop the men acting like dickheads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love proactive women

Chillout! Will you marry me!!

Howzat for proactivity?

There's proactive, and then there's proactive! "

Too much?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

If I really like someone I'll message them first. The people I've actually maintained a level of interest/"relationship" with have been those men on the whole. I get why women aren't proactive but I'd much rather take active control of my fab journey.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

100% correct O.P.

Some of them just like to moan and moan and moan about the number of messages they get and the quality of them or lack of quality thereof.

Why the fuck don't they just ignore those they don't want to meet and go meet someone.

Quite a lot are just here for the messages and the faux outrage.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

The only men I meet are the ones who pursue me, just how I'm built.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"100% correct O.P.

Some of them just like to moan and moan and moan about the number of messages they get and the quality of them or lack of quality thereof.

Why the fuck don't they just ignore those they don't want to meet and go meet someone.

Quite a lot are just here for the messages and the faux outrage. "

Filters on max and just delete the messages that don't interest you. It ain't no thing

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By *uriouscat71Woman
over a year ago

Bristol


"As a bbw I wouldn’t just message someone. Love looking tho. You men are gorgeous!

You look hot as hell to me. I can guarantee you with no doubt at all that this place is full of quality men who would be overjoyed to get a message from you. Obviously you should never do anything you're not comfortable with but don't ever think you shouldn't message because of that. It's so not true xxx

Awww your a bless. Maybe I’ll have a go

I'm not bullshitting you, chick, I promise. I hid behind a screen for years thinking no one would ever want to spank me cos I was far too big. I was so wrong it was hilarious. You do what you feel happy with but don't think like I did cos it honestly is bollocks xxx"

Your profile is banging! (Said from a friendly angle) You have inspired me for sure. Thank you for your kind words. If your ever in South Glos I’ll buy you a gin x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a bbw I wouldn’t just message someone. Love looking tho. You men are gorgeous!

You look hot as hell to me. I can guarantee you with no doubt at all that this place is full of quality men who would be overjoyed to get a message from you. Obviously you should never do anything you're not comfortable with but don't ever think you shouldn't message because of that. It's so not true xxx

Awww your a bless. Maybe I’ll have a go

I'm not bullshitting you, chick, I promise. I hid behind a screen for years thinking no one would ever want to spank me cos I was far too big. I was so wrong it was hilarious. You do what you feel happy with but don't think like I did cos it honestly is bollocks xxx

Your profile is banging! (Said from a friendly angle) You have inspired me for sure. Thank you for your kind words. If your ever in South Glos I’ll buy you a gin x"

Deal

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Women arguing is hot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women arguing in bikinis in a hot tub is hot."

FIFY

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There aren't any women arguing.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

It would be to see some

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters


"The ones I like are tooooo far away sadly.

So chatting will do for now"

I agree with that. To the T

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest


"I love proactive women

Chillout! Will you marry me!!

Howzat for proactivity?

There's proactive, and then there's proactive!

Too much? "

Perhaps a tad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a lot of very sensible stuff on this thread.

There's quite a lot of pish as well

Most of it is men telling women what they should be doing to stop the men acting like dickheads "

Oh, the dickheads will still act like dickheads. They're not going to stop if they couldn't message and think "Oh I'd better behave like a decent human being" as right now they're getting nowhere anyway and still being dickheads.

They just won't be doing it in certain mailboxes...

B

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"There's a lot of very sensible stuff on this thread.

There's quite a lot of pish as well

Most of it is men telling women what they should be doing to stop the men acting like dickheads

Oh, the dickheads will still act like dickheads. They're not going to stop if they couldn't message and think "Oh I'd better behave like a decent human being" as right now they're getting nowhere anyway and still being dickheads.

They just won't be doing it in certain mailboxes...

B"

To be fair, I have a friend on whatsapp that loves hearing the random shit I get in messages and some are quite amusing.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"If I really like someone I'll message them first. The people I've actually maintained a level of interest/"relationship" with have been those men on the whole. I get why women aren't proactive but I'd much rather take active control of my fab journey."

Rings very true here too

Mrs TMN x

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Women are proactive on here, it still doesn’t stop them receiving crude messages, unless we completely block everyone.

Blocking everyone is not something I choose to do, purely because occasionally someone comes along that wouldn’t be in my search and it all just clicks. "

Yes!

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Women arguing in bikinis in a hot tub is hot.

FIFY"

Women wrestling in bikinis covered in baby oil is also hot

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"There aren't any women arguing. "

Sounds like a valid argument

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

YOU try looking for a decent male profile with decent pictures, then come back and ask why I don't go looking! Because they are mostly totally deceitful and totally ignore and disregard what their female counter part is looking for!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women arguing in bikinis in a hot tub is hot.

FIFY

Women wrestling in bikinis covered in baby oil is also hot"

You might think differently if you saw me in a bikini covered in baby oil.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?"

I rarely respond to a msg received. As 9 times out of 10 it’s a crappy no effort message from someone who is delusion.

However - I always message first anyone who catches my interest or meets a requirement that I’m hunting for.

So I would say - I’m definitely in the pro active message camp!

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth


"A recurring theme on fab seems to be women complaining about men who message them, either the type of guy or the content of the message.

So do most women just sit and wait for men to approach them?

Maybe if they were more proactive and actually go looking for the type of guy they want, their experience on here would be a more positive one.

Is this a fair reflection or am I off the mark?

I rarely respond to a msg received. As 9 times out of 10 it’s a crappy no effort message from someone who is delusion.

However - I always message first anyone who catches my interest or meets a requirement that I’m hunting for.

So I would say - I’m definitely in the pro active message camp! "
Got to love a proactive lady : )))

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"My brain is wired to think outside the box and I am looking for similar men so I use certain phrases as my status updates to attract what I want...

It works for me "

Actually I find the best interactions I have had are off the back of status updates. Conversation seems to flow a lot better when it's about something 'now' and relevant. Whereas profiles are often more a list of dislikes or demand the moon on a stick in the opening message but don't provide much to inspire a decent opener. Responding to forum posts or status updates feels more like an informal chat whilst queuing at the bar vs writing an introductory note to a collection of photos and a few sentances of profile (if you're lucky) feels more like applying for a job, sometimes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"YOU try looking for a decent male profile with decent pictures, then come back and ask why I don't go looking! Because they are mostly totally deceitful and totally ignore and disregard what their female counter part is looking for!"

There's plenty of blokes who do tbf, my OH has always said I fit that camp and that's a big reason why it's been a good year for us since we got together on Fab. And there's lots more men who are either pleasers or at the very least give a shit besides.

I can understand the location thing being a pain in the arse in this regard, but one of us was in Yorkshire and one in the West midlands when we met?

B

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I often message first, and that approach has been successful on the whole...but I have also been told a few times that guys think i'm too forward when I do that.

I don't want to block all single guys from messaging because OCCASIONALLY there is a message from someone i'm interested in amongst the crappy one-liners.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I've had a couple of messages (first) from ladies and couples.

Some are great fab friends.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I have and do message first. I experience similar things to men: message deleted unread; message deleted after reading; block; thanks but no thanks; rude response that I am not their type; start of a conversation that peters out and there is no meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never had a rude response and if I don’t get a reply I don’t mind, not everyone’s cup of tea.. the ladies on here tend to be lovely I find, especially on the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have never had a rude response and if I don’t get a reply I don’t mind, not everyone’s cup of tea.. the ladies on here tend to be lovely I find, especially on the forums "
right attitude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have never had a rude response and if I don’t get a reply I don’t mind, not everyone’s cup of tea.. the ladies on here tend to be lovely I find, especially on the forums right attitude"

Cheers pal

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

I have a fem friend here who moans about the idiots messaging, then puts a provocative update on her profile to generate more interest.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"I have a fem friend here who moans about the idiots messaging, then puts a provocative update on her profile to generate more interest. "

So? Maybe she's hoping to.invote people who aren't idiots

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"I have a fem friend here who moans about the idiots messaging, then puts a provocative update on her profile to generate more interest.

So? Maybe she's hoping to.invote people who aren't idiots "

Attract, not whatever invote is

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"I have a fem friend here who moans about the idiots messaging, then puts a provocative update on her profile to generate more interest.

So? Maybe she's hoping to.invote people who aren't idiots

Attract, not whatever invote is "

Sadly she's near Bridgend, so not much chance of that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a fem friend here who moans about the idiots messaging, then puts a provocative update on her profile to generate more interest.

So? Maybe she's hoping to.invote people who aren't idiots

Attract, not whatever invote is "
it’s a past tense of invite when your high #urbandictonary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My best meets have all been as a result of approaches that I made not messages in my inbox. I met my partner in the chat rooms, he had been busy teasing me for being more involved with my phone than the chat room while I'd in fact been using my phone to send him a friend request and message.

You can't ever really get a clear idea about someone from an inbox message, I prefer to see someone on cam and watch their facial reactions to what is happening in chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I joined fab as a single guy I tried the obvious route first of considered, polite targeted messages to women who appealed to me. I soon realised the results were poor and in no way justified the time invested.

So the next option was spamming out copy and paste messages to every single woman's profile I came across to see if I got a bite (reply), if I did I would then check out the profile to see if I was actually interested in them (most of the time I wasn't)

So I came to the conclusion messaging women was on balance a waste of my time. From that point on I very rarely messaged first and thought more about how I could get noticed via using other features of fab. It didn't take long before I had more meets lined up than I could manage to make.

Bottom line is that messaging first is pretty much a waste of time for single guys imo, yes you will occasionally get lucky but it's really not the best way to invest your time. That's my experience anyway, you can thank me later "

Really good tips. Plus your profile pic stands out. That makes a difference in a sea of similar pics. You can easily find your message in a busy inbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"100% correct O.P.

Some of them just like to moan and moan and moan about the number of messages they get and the quality of them or lack of quality thereof.

Why the fuck don't they just ignore those they don't want to meet and go meet someone.

Quite a lot are just here for the messages and the faux outrage. "

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

I don’t think it matters which way the approach happens. A pleasant person will be pleasant and an arse will still be an arse.

What draws you initially is not necessarily the thing that keeps you interested so I don’t think it matters much who starts the process.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest


"When I joined fab as a single guy I tried the obvious route first of considered, polite targeted messages to women who appealed to me. I soon realised the results were poor and in no way justified the time invested.

So the next option was spamming out copy and paste messages to every single woman's profile I came across to see if I got a bite (reply), if I did I would then check out the profile to see if I was actually interested in them (most of the time I wasn't)

So I came to the conclusion messaging women was on balance a waste of my time. From that point on I very rarely messaged first and thought more about how I could get noticed via using other features of fab. It didn't take long before I had more meets lined up than I could manage to make.

Bottom line is that messaging first is pretty much a waste of time for single guys imo, yes you will occasionally get lucky but it's really not the best way to invest your time. That's my experience anyway, you can thank me later "

With the exception of spamming copy / paste messages and having more meets lined up than I could manage, this has very much been my experience as well. I do still message first on occasion if it's not off the back of some forum thread / post. Once proactive always proactive

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place


"I message when I see someone I’d like to chat to "

Hey! Welcome back

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I'm not messaging first, I don't need to. I can give or take meets with randoms to be honest. I have regular guys. I don't need men telling me what to do either. M&s

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a lot of negative woman on here mate you got to learn to embrace them or it'll just piss you off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a lot of negative woman on here mate you got to learn to embrace them or it'll just piss you off "

. Have to say I see more negative male threads than women!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a lot of negative woman on here mate you got to learn to embrace them or it'll just piss you off

. Have to say I see more negative male threads than women!"

I see more negative female threads in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a lot of negative woman on here mate you got to learn to embrace them or it'll just piss you off

. Have to say I see more negative male threads than women!"

I think there's Negative Nancies everywhere, no one gender has the monopoly on them!

You'd expect to see 15 times more negative threads done by men than women tbf, purely down to the ratios and each gender having the same number of miserable sods amongst it's number...

B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a lot of negative woman on here mate you got to learn to embrace them or it'll just piss you off

. Have to say I see more negative male threads than women!

I see more negative female threads in my opinion"

Really? Must be in a different lounge to me. Doesn’t bother me I ignore them its just what I’ve noticed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a lot of negative woman on here mate you got to learn to embrace them or it'll just piss you off

. Have to say I see more negative male threads than women!

I see more negative female threads in my opinion

Really? Must be in a different lounge to me. Doesn’t bother me I ignore them its just what I’ve noticed. "

No just maybe our perspective differs

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