FabSwingers.com forum: Queen of Spades derogative and offensive??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does anyone else find the term Queen of Spades offensive and derogatory?

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By *orders-cplCouple
over a year ago

middx cpl

no not at all each to there own I like the term

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t like it, however I know some do and look for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apart from the playing card what's it mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn't realise it was a term.

As far as I was aware, it is a playing card

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I thought it was a playing card as well. I’m not googling.

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By *olex99Man
over a year ago

Hull

There's bigger things in life to worry about aren't there?

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

"Does anyone else find the term Queen of Spades offensive and derogatory? "

Why do you find it offensive?

(genuinely ignorant here)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I assume that it has nothing to do with the opera or cards so no idea - must be out of touch with the youth of today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find the term Queen of Spades offensive and derogatory? "
no i love that card in canasta

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s something the person chooses to do so how is that derogatory

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s something the person chooses to do so how is that derogatory "

Because some people don't agree with fetishising race.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I assume that it has nothing to do with the opera or cards

I just Googled the opera. I didn't realise the composer's brother was called Modest Tchaikovsky

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

It’s just another label to show what you are looking for I suppose.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Does anyone else find the term Queen of Spades offensive and derogatory?

Why do you find it offensive?

(genuinely ignorant here)

"spade" is an outdated derogatory term for a black man, it used to be used as an insult.

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

A lot of people will deny they fetishise race

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By *edmark07Man
over a year ago

liverpool

"I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes."

kinda this. I always worry when i see the use of the word chocolate, just makes me a little uneasy

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"It’s something the person chooses to do so how is that derogatory

Because some people don't agree with fetishising race."

And others are quite happy going along with it and advertise themselves as such

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s something the person chooses to do so how is that derogatory

Because some people don't agree with fetishising race.

And others are quite happy going along with it and advertise themselves as such "

Indeed. That doesn't stop other people feeling uneasy about the use of outdated terms such as 'spade' which was traditionally used as a derogatory term for black people.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes.

kinda this. I always worry when i see the use of the word chocolate, just makes me a little uneasy "

And yet you find guys using it as part of their user name, go figure!

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

A town near you perhaps

"I thought it was a playing card as well. I’m not googling. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s something the person chooses to do so how is that derogatory

Because some people don't agree with fetishising race."

That’s preference is it not individual choice are we to lose our individuality my face offends people but that’s my choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m sure someone put a thread up about this before (women getting it tattooed on them) and I have no idea, I have no idea what it means other than it’s a playing card

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes.

kinda this. I always worry when i see the use of the word chocolate, just makes me a little uneasy

And yet you find guys using it as part of their user name, go figure! "

Yes you do, which is why I said earlier that I'm not offended on behalf of another race. I'm a white man.

Again though, some people are upset by the use if such outdated terminology. I'm not sure why I have to keep explaining this - some people are OK with it, some aren't. This isn't a competition to be right or wrong.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

"Does anyone else find the term Queen of Spades offensive and derogatory?

Why do you find it offensive?

(genuinely ignorant here)

"spade" is an outdated derogatory term for a black man, it used to be used as an insult. "

Thanks - I didn't know that.

If the term is considered insulting, and a woman uses it in the hope of drawing a black man into her clutches, it would seem counter-intuitive to me.

Insulting someone isn't a good way of getting to someone's heart.

Or is the label applied by others to denigrate the woman for being sexually attracted to people of a different ethnicity?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sure someone put a thread up about this before (women getting it tattooed on them) and I have no idea, I have no idea what it means other than it’s a playing card"

It means they like to fuck black guys. Spades. Spade is an old term for a black person, mostly used in the negative.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes.

kinda this. I always worry when i see the use of the word chocolate, just makes me a little uneasy

And yet you find guys using it as part of their user name, go figure! "

Stormzy says it. I've always found it distasteful but I guess people can call themselves what they like.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"It’s something the person chooses to do so how is that derogatory

Because some people don't agree with fetishising race.

And others are quite happy going along with it and advertise themselves as such

Indeed. That doesn't stop other people feeling uneasy about the use of outdated terms such as 'spade' which was traditionally used as a derogatory term for black people."

Yes I know what it means, but in the term it is used on a site like this it means certain ladies will only meet black guys, this we know already, no one is being derogatory about them, in fact it is quite the opposite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes.

kinda this. I always worry when i see the use of the word chocolate, just makes me a little uneasy

And yet you find guys using it as part of their user name, go figure!

Stormzy says it. I've always found it distasteful but I guess people can call themselves what they like. "

He says a lot of things with numerous meanings and connotations - he's also a young black man. As Chuck D from Public Enemy said, "you're not niggers". That doesn't stop younger rappers using the term - which is a slave term and should not be used by anyone, black or white in my view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s something the person chooses to do so how is that derogatory

Because some people don't agree with fetishising race.

And others are quite happy going along with it and advertise themselves as such

Indeed. That doesn't stop other people feeling uneasy about the use of outdated terms such as 'spade' which was traditionally used as a derogatory term for black people.

Yes, and I keep agreeing with you but you don't seem to notice. Some people (SOME PEOPLE) still feel uncomfortable with the terminology used.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find the term Queen of Spades offensive and derogatory?

Why do you find it offensive?

(genuinely ignorant here)

"spade" is an outdated derogatory term for a black man, it used to be used as an insult. "

Ah. I didn’t know that.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes.

kinda this. I always worry when i see the use of the word chocolate, just makes me a little uneasy

And yet you find guys using it as part of their user name, go figure!

Yes you do, which is why I said earlier that I'm not offended on behalf of another race. I'm a white man.

Nope it isn’t, and like the old saying goes some will like it and some won’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve met black men who love it, having women who want only black men and black men who don’t like it, isn’t it like most other things some people like it some don’t?

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"It’s something the person chooses to do so how is that derogatory

Because some people don't agree with fetishising race.

And others are quite happy going along with it and advertise themselves as such

Indeed. That doesn't stop other people feeling uneasy about the use of outdated terms such as 'spade' which was traditionally used as a derogatory term for black people.

Yes, and I keep agreeing with you but you don't seem to notice. Some people (SOME PEOPLE) still feel uncomfortable with the terminology used."

I have noticed

I was just adding to the thread that’s all, blimey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you look for the offense its definitely there ... Spade has been used as a derogatory term and the term Queen suggests superiority over Spades. I cant see it being a term that will be considered acceptable for much longer.

Would it be offensive if Jerremy Clarkson favoured hanging about with black friends and declared himself King of Spades? Of course it would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you look for the offense its definitely there ... Spade has been used as a derogatory term and the term Queen suggests superiority over Spades. I cant see it being a term that will be considered acceptable for much longer.

Would it be offensive if Jerremy Clarkson favoured hanging about with black friends and declared himself King of Spades? Of course it would.

Yes, but that's because Jeremy Clarkson is a grade A cunt.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I think it’s really unpleasant. I know we all have our kinks, but I don’t honestly see how any self respecting black man can entertain it. But then I don’t get any kind of humiliation kink, and for me that’s what this is.

I would be really interested to hear other views on it, from the black guys who will go along with it and the white woman who have the tattoos etc.

I haven’t been attracted to anyone other than a black man for years, both on Fab and in real life. So my desire to play with a black man isn’t a fetish. Each to their own, but I do find it difficult to get my head round.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes.

kinda this. I always worry when i see the use of the word chocolate, just makes me a little uneasy

And yet you find guys using it as part of their user name, go figure!

Yes you do, which is why I said earlier that I'm not offended on behalf of another race. I'm a white man.

Because a large number of people fail to realise that you can empathise and be compassionate about such things without actually getting offended over it.

I agree I don't like such things because it should not be about a fetish.

Thing is it really can't be all that offensive or derogatory (anymore) though since if more than just a few of those it was originally meant to insult embrace it and also enjoy the attention. It is most definitely a very tricky thing to nail down as something that should not be done while it is (in part) embraced by (some of) those that are the core part of it - in this case black men.

The only way to make it something that should not be done is for black men as a whole to just deny women who make such "demands" and now allow themselves to be part of it.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"It’s something the person chooses to do so how is that derogatory

Because some people don't agree with fetishising race.

And others are quite happy going along with it and advertise themselves as such

Indeed. That doesn't stop other people feeling uneasy about the use of outdated terms such as 'spade' which was traditionally used as a derogatory term for black people.

I think some women use the term without realising what is actually means, and lots of them worship black men. But some do use it as a way to fetishise a black man, especially when it’s a white couple and a black man. That can be really unsavoury.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

The fact so many seem to be ignorant of the term, myself included, suggests it has faded from linguistic use. My feeling reading this thread is just to let it drift into history rather than revive it.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"The fact so many seem to be ignorant of the term, myself included, suggests it has faded from linguistic use. My feeling reading this thread is just to let it drift into history rather than revive it.

It’s very popular still on the interracial scene.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes.

kinda this. I always worry when i see the use of the word chocolate, just makes me a little uneasy

And yet you find guys using it as part of their user name, go figure!

Stormzy says it. I've always found it distasteful but I guess people can call themselves what they like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

7 of diamonds man myself

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes.

kinda this. I always worry when i see the use of the word chocolate, just makes me a little uneasy

And yet you find guys using it as part of their user name, go figure!

Stormzy says it. I've always found it distasteful but I guess people can call themselves what they like.

But part of being free, ie no longer a slave is that you get to call yourself what you like, right? Chuck D talked more sense than anyone else in hip hop I can think of but this is what freedom is. You make your own choices, good or bad. "
Indeed it is. It is also a case of taking power away from the word. Which is why it is used so freely in mainstream among black rappers.

It will forever be a word when used by somebody who is not black to be deemed offensive. The word has too much power because of this - and that is coming from me, somebody who thinks the context of a word should give the power, not the word itself.

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By *ipShakerMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

There is/was a female user of this site with that nickname. I think with most things these days if you look for something you'll find a way to make it a racial issue.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"There is/was a female user of this site with that nickname. I think with most things these days if you look for something you'll find a way to make it a racial issue. "

In this case it’s deliberately a racial issue.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

I enjoy seeing women with that tattoo, i don't see it as anymore offensive than when men get a doughnut tattoo to show they're into bbw to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you learn something new every day. I had absolutely no idea this was a thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Offence isn't given, it's only taken!!

You can take offence at most things in life if you really want to.

Life is far too short to take offence at anything that doesnt concern you

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Offence isn't given, it's only taken!!

You can take offence at most things in life if you really want to.

Life is far too short to take offence at anything that doesnt concern you "

That's ridiculous. Am I not allowed to take offence at children or animals being abused, or racism or slave labour even though they don't directly concern me ?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Offence isn't given, it's only taken!!

You can take offence at most things in life if you really want to.

Life is far too short to take offence at anything that doesnt concern you "

Many things are said and done to deliberately cause offence though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Offence isn't given, it's only taken!!

You can take offence at most things in life if you really want to.

Life is far too short to take offence at anything that doesnt concern you

That's ridiculous. Am I not allowed to take offence at children or animals being abused, or racism or slave labour even though they don't directly concern me ?"

You can be offended by whatever you like my dear

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"Offence isn't given, it's only taken!!

You can take offence at most things in life if you really want to.

Life is far too short to take offence at anything that doesnt concern you

That's ridiculous. Am I not allowed to take offence at children or animals being abused, or racism or slave labour even though they don't directly concern me ?"

You're likening a symbol to child abuse...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Offence isn't given, it's only taken!!

You can take offence at most things in life if you really want to.

Life is far too short to take offence at anything that doesnt concern you

Many things are said and done to deliberately cause offence though. "

But its personal choice if you accept it

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Offence isn't given, it's only taken!!

You can take offence at most things in life if you really want to.

Life is far too short to take offence at anything that doesnt concern you

Many things are said and done to deliberately cause offence though.

But its personal choice if you accept it"

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

If you really don't like it OP, i suggest you do a name search for the word "spade", then tell all the men and women who's names come up the error of their ways....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taken not given....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes."

I totally agree with this. I also dislike the term BBC to me it doesn’t matter what colour it is as long as you know how to use it

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

"I enjoy seeing women with that tattoo, i don't see it as anymore offensive than when men get a doughnut tattoo to show they're into bbw to be honest. "

This thread is quite an education.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

"Offence isn't given, it's only taken!!

You can take offence at most things in life if you really want to.

Life is far too short to take offence at anything that doesnt concern you "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Offence isn't given, it's only taken!!

You can take offence at most things in life if you really want to.

Life is far too short to take offence at anything that doesnt concern you

Sorry, didn't realise someone had already said it. Very true though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another category, another box. If you like being put in boxes, then by all means, be my guest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never go out of my way to deliberately offend anyone but you can bet your bottom dollar there is always someone who wishes to think what I say or do is offensive.

I think that goes for a majority of the population

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I never go out of my way to deliberately offend anyone"

I found you calling me "my dear" offensive. Very patronising.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being offended is a choice.

I choose not to be offended by most things - it's a waste of energy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't find it offensive as such, since I'm a white man - how can you be offended on behalf of another race?

On the other hand, I do find fetishising race to be something I don't enjoy or agree with. Not offended as such, but it does feel a little bit unsavoury, yes.

kinda this. I always worry when i see the use of the word chocolate, just makes me a little uneasy

And yet you find guys using it as part of their user name, go figure!

Stormzy says it. I've always found it distasteful but I guess people can call themselves what they like. "

When black people use terms like this, it's their way of owning the term and taking away the sting. Same way some women use B*tch or sl*t.

I guess it depends on the intentions of the persons using the term.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I never go out of my way to deliberately offend anyone

I found you calling me "my dear" offensive. Very patronising. "

that's probably why she did it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being offended is a choice.

I choose not to be offended by most things - it's a waste of energy."

I don't believe I have a right not to be offended. Just because I'm offended by something itb doesn't mean its wrong. My feelings are mine to own and manage. They're no-one else's problem or responsibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being offended is a choice.

I choose not to be offended by most things - it's a waste of energy."

Not quite the samething when it comes to race though is it? There's a difference between choosing not to be offended and stamping out subliminal offensive messaging related to race.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not offended by it. But I cant ever imagine meeting anyone that uses it, I find eloquence attractive and it's such a basic term

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think the tattoo looks tacky.

Other than that, not much of an opinion on the matter....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being offended is a choice.

I choose not to be offended by most things - it's a waste of energy.

Not quite the samething when it comes to race though is it? There's a difference between choosing not to be offended and stamping out subliminal offensive messaging related to race. "

I'm black though

Isn't it my right to choose whether I'm offended or not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being offended is a choice.

I choose not to be offended by most things - it's a waste of energy.

Not quite the samething when it comes to race though is it? There's a difference between choosing not to be offended and stamping out subliminal offensive messaging related to race.

I'm black though

Isn't it my right to choose whether I'm offended or not?"

Well that's another matter entirely. My apologies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never heard that, other than the card, until today. I can't say I find it offensive so if any ladies would like to have 'Drago' tattooed in a visible spot it would save me a lot of faff..

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

The grammar police are out in force today. Lots of women on here display tattoos of a spade and prefer black guys. Yes some will like, some will not. I get so bored of people poking their noses into other people's business and claiming to be offended on behalf of others. The language you use today will be outdated in a decade and you will still keep on using it. Why? Because you always have. Snowflakes.. and I am sure someone will find a racial connotation in that word. No it's the melting and unable to cope. Grow up people's. People are starving in this country.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd never heard that, other than the card, until today. I can't say I find it offensive so if any ladies would like to have 'Drago' tattooed in a visible spot it would save me a lot of faff..

I’d never heard it either

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I'd never heard that, other than the card, until today. I can't say I find it offensive so if any ladies would like to have 'Drago' tattooed in a visible spot it would save me a lot of faff..

I’d never heard it either "
× 3 . Me neither and I ain't googling it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The grammar police are out in force today. Lots of women on here display tattoos of a spade and prefer black guys. Yes some will like, some will not. I get so bored of people poking their noses into other people's business and claiming to be offended on behalf of others. The language you use today will be outdated in a decade and you will still keep on using it. Why? Because you always have. Snowflakes.. and I am sure someone will find a racial connotation in that word. No it's the melting and unable to cope. Grow up people's. People are starving in this country. "

I'm not sure where people starving comes in to this discussion?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

The number of people who'd never heard of it as a swinging term, makes me think the thread should have been started in "swinger's chat"..

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

And as for the so fetishing of races.. get a life.. some ladies prefer black guys.. they can prefer who they like..

I like Swedish girls with big tits..

I am sure that will offend some of the snowflakes on here..

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I'm not sure where people starving comes in to this discussion?"

My point, my dear friend, is that there are far more important issues..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought snowflake meant someone thought they were special ie the construction of every snowflake is unique, kind of like a fingerprint.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never go out of my way to deliberately offend anyone

I found you calling me "my dear" offensive. Very patronising. "

And it proves my point entirely.

It wasnt meant to offend you but you chose to take offence at it!

Apologies sent

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I thought snowflake meant someone thought they were special ie the construction of every snowflake is unique, kind of like a fingerprint. "

I don't want to go off topic on the thread but that is one interpretation often given to counter the other one..

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I like Swedish girls with big tits..

Are you going to get a tattoo of a muesli flake ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"7 of diamonds man myself

I keep tripping over the jokers of the pack....

Damn this site!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer men that aren't knob heads what tattoo should I get?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure where people starving comes in to this discussion?

My point, my dear friend, is that there are far more important issues.. "

To be clear i am not your dear friend so not sure why you would say that.

And of course there are more important issues but its avtgread about a swinging term and how people perceive it. I'm not sure why poverty makes this discussion invalid?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I thought snowflake meant someone thought they were special ie the construction of every snowflake is unique, kind of like a fingerprint. "

The Google term is spot on. Unique and delicate.

"A person, implying that they have an inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or are overly-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions."

Though to me it is an "and", not an "or" when it comes to being offended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like Swedish girls with big tits..

Are you going to get a tattoo of a muesli flake ?"

I think that's Swiss. A Volvo badge, maybe?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I think that's Swiss. A Volvo badge, maybe?

A Volvo/vulva combo ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought snowflake meant someone thought they were special ie the construction of every snowflake is unique, kind of like a fingerprint.

The Google term is spot on. Unique and delicate.

"A person, implying that they have an inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or are overly-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions."

Though to me it is an "and", not an "or" when it comes to being offended. "

Either way.... It's tiresome in the extreme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that's Swiss. A Volvo badge, maybe?

A Volvo/vulva combo ?"

Beautifully done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer men that aren't knob heads what tattoo should I get?

Hahaha funny as....

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By *hromosexualsCouple
over a year ago

Near Abercynon

"I prefer men that aren't knob heads what tattoo should I get?

A picture of a nob head with a red line through it

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I prefer men that aren't knob heads what tattoo should I get?

A picture of a nob head with a red line through it"

People might think that denotes a Lesbian

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

I thought snowflake meant someone thought they were special ie the construction of every snowflake is unique, kind of like a fingerprint. "

no.

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By *heIcebreakersCouple
over a year ago

Cramlington

It’s very popular still on the interracial scene. "
Which is, of course, much more of an American thing than a British thing. I mean that in the sense that the USA still has serious fault lines around race and its history over there which mean that interracial play has a subtext there which isn't as evident or clear in the UK.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the crap tattoos these "queens" have more expensive, they look shit

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I find the crap tattoos these "queens" have more expensive, they look shit "

99% are temporary.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

It’s very popular still on the interracial scene. Which is, of course, much more of an American thing than a British thing. I mean that in the sense that the USA still has serious fault lines around race and its history over there which mean that interracial play has a subtext there which isn't as evident or clear in the UK."

That's true. There's a big focus on making race "reparations" over there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's very true. I was whipped by a black lady once and that would have a lot more significance in America, I never really thought of it like that.

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By *hilliandspiceMan
over a year ago

Wimborne

I just think that it's mostly down to intent. I call spice "my girl" I figure many ladies would be offended by that saying it's sexist or derogatory, spice likes it though.

As for people taking offence, somebody somewhere will take offence at anything. I'm pretty sure that if I said I like tomato ketchup someone somewhere would take offence at that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just think that it's mostly down to intent. I call spice "my girl" I figure many ladies would be offended by that saying it's sexist or derogatory, spice likes it though.

As for people taking offence, somebody somewhere will take offence at anything. I'm pretty sure that if I said I like tomato ketchup someone somewhere would take offence at that.

Ha! The things my partner calls me would certainly set a lot of people's hackles up so we play nice in public

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I'm not sure where people starving comes in to this discussion?

My point, my dear friend, is that there are far more important issues..

To be clear i am not your dear friend so not sure why you would say that.

And of course there are more important issues but its avtgread about a swinging term and how people perceive it. I'm not sure why poverty makes this discussion invalid? "

I respect your opinion and like you immensely ..

The threads are richer for your input..

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Apart from the playing card what's it mean? "

Historically "spade" is a derogatory term used to describe black people, akin to the N word.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"I just think that it's mostly down to intent. I call spice "my girl" I figure many ladies would be offended by that saying it's sexist or derogatory, spice likes it though.

As for people taking offence, somebody somewhere will take offence at anything. I'm pretty sure that if I said I like tomato ketchup someone somewhere would take offence at that.

Ha! The things my partner calls me would certainly set a lot of people's hackles up so we play nice in public

Guessing you can't elaborate

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"Apart from the playing card what's it mean?

Historically "spade" is a derogatory term used to describe black people, akin to the N word."

And some white ladies who either prefer or exclusively like lack men have it tattooed.

I respect that . Their body, their choice and their right..

None of our business...

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By *lack UhuruMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Would it be offensive if Jerremy Clarkson favoured hanging about with black friends and declared himself King of Spades? Of course it would.

What he said

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By *lack UhuruMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Lots of women have a tattoo of the Queen of Spades not a spade! Get it right!

If they had spades tattooed maybe they'd be into Gardner's.

Tattoo of a bloody spade? SMFH

I agree with everything else you said including your snowflake comment but most people know it's no longer used in a racial context anymore.

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By *lack UhuruMan
over a year ago

Leeds

And we're back here again. This is what I wrote in a previous post about the same subject.

"You actually get it. The term spade is a derogatory term towards black men.

I personally do not find the tattoo or jewellery offensive but I do scratch my head. Women who attend interracial/BBC parties are going there for black men so why would you need a tattoo or other jewellery saying you're a Queen of Spades (which we now know to be a racist term). Remember this ladies you maybe a Queen but you'll never be the Queen of me lol.

I can understand on a normal club night. In some ways some women should be glad for these ladies because at least black guys like myself, will know to approach them. It could save embarrassment or unease if ladies are not into black guys.

At the end of the day we can't really find the tattoo or jewellery offensive. We live in a different time now and we all swing.

In this world the tattoo/jewellery has no racist meaning behind it when worn by women. It means one thing. She likes black guys. Simples. And if black guys do find it offensive maybe they should stop playing with women displaying QoS imaginery.

I would find it more offensive if a group of white guys said "oh look she's a Queen of Spades. You know what she's into".

Let's get over the tattoo and continue swinging".

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By *ldhillhotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Old Hill

Never met a black guy who was offended at my prefering only them or me describing myself as a Queen of Spades...

My QoS tattoo has never offended anyone I have met. Most guys seem to appreciate the level of commitment.

I understand the word spade history but don't use it in that context.

My own opinion, others have a right to theirs.

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton

I've had men who have wanted to fuck me because they haven't been with a women of my colour before. That is making it a fetish thing to me. It wasn't about preference.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

Queer of spades

My interpretation of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd never heard that, other than the card, until today. I can't say I find it offensive so if any ladies would like to have 'Drago' tattooed in a visible spot it would save me a lot of faff..

I’d never heard it either "

Have you got your Drago tattoo yet?..

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