FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Getting yourself off

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god hahahah, American pie reference hahaha

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deborah....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My left hand it was shit

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stuffed panda...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Normally £40 worth of petrol will suffice

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh god hahahah, American pie reference hahaha"

I was watching this when I thought of it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was 15, and it was not legal.

In fact, don't know why I've commented, I couldn't tell anyone!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Stuffed panda..."

You didn't!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was 15, and it was not legal.

In fact, don't know why I've commented, I couldn't tell anyone! "

You had a pint in a pub? Haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

High heel... placed cock in open toe at the front and slid up and down nicely

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Probably a lip gloss tube when I was younger. Or the handle of a hairbrush.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stuffed panda...

You didn't! "

Beepsie does not approve !

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Stuffed panda...

You didn't!

Beepsie does not approve !"

Pamela would but I don't approve of her slutty behaviour.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stuffed panda...

You didn't!

Beepsie does not approve !

Pamela would but I don't approve of her slutty behaviour. "

I was young, you know how it is during experimental age

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

Cardboard tube from Middle of a toilet roll

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Shampoo bottle - at my boyfriend's parents' house!

Mrs TMN x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ocodoughnutgirlWoman
over a year ago

Sea of jelly and doughnuts

Roll deodorant with the lid on of course...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

Welsh Lass

Hairbrush handle.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Shampoo bottle - at my boyfriend's parents' house!

Mrs TMN x"

Ohhh bad girl

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *d59michelleTV/TS
over a year ago

walsall

As Ivor Biggun once sang

I've wanked over Italy,

I've wanked over Spain,

I've wanked in an omnibus,

I've even had a wank in a train.

I've used a badger and a melon and a cat,

An inflatable Linda Lovelace and a Davy Crocket hat,

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

A snorkel

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Many years ago a frozen sausage

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax


"Cardboard tube from Middle of a toilet roll "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 sponges and a toilet seat

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Many years ago a frozen sausage "

Dont know why but that sent me into fits of giggles lolol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed


"Cardboard tube from Middle of a toilet roll

"

Yes was way back in my early teens was very desperate shag anything days lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stuffed panda...

You didn't!

Beepsie does not approve !

Pamela would but I don't approve of her slutty behaviour. "

Pamela may need to have a background check before pandas tea party, can’t just let any old panda teddy in having bad influence on Beepsie

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *unkym34Man
over a year ago

London


"Many years ago a frozen sausage "
let it go let it go

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

The nose of my teddy bear

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Many years ago a frozen sausage "

They’re not called bangers for nothing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hairbrush handle.

"

Lol, my ex used to do that! X

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *arah_kieran_ukCouple
over a year ago

Greater London

Cucumber and then served it to my brother in law

xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably a lip gloss tube when I was younger. Or the handle of a hairbrush."

I’m sure a lot of girls broke their hymen that way.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As Ivor Biggun once sang

I've wanked over Italy,

I've wanked over Spain,

I've wanked in an omnibus,

I've even had a wank in a train.

I've used a badger and a melon and a cat,

An inflatable Linda Lovelace and a Davy Crocket hat,"

Pmsl

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

Welsh Lass


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun."

oh Kinky, this has made me laugh!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun.

oh Kinky, this has made me laugh! "

On the positive side, I learned the importance of lube at an early age.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun.

oh Kinky, this has made me laugh!

On the positive side, I learned the importance of lube at an early age."

Did you blow through it after and shoot a pellet of shit?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Probably a lip gloss tube when I was younger. Or the handle of a hairbrush.

I’m sure a lot of girls broke their hymen that way. "

Mine partially broke 3 times

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Stuffed panda...

You didn't!

Beepsie does not approve !

Pamela would but I don't approve of her slutty behaviour.

Pamela may need to have a background check before pandas tea party, can’t just let any old panda teddy in having bad influence on Beepsie "

I'm afraid she would fail! She's filthy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *dmundwilsonMan
over a year ago

Llandudno

You seem like a hard riding gal.. love it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun."

Sounds painful.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Roll deodorant with the lid on of course...

"

'Mum' was a good brand for this!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax


"Many years ago a frozen sausage

They’re not called bangers for nothing. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax


"Many years ago a frozen sausage let it go let it go "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax


"Cardboard tube from Middle of a toilet roll

Yes was way back in my early teens was very desperate shag anything days lol "

Lol...did it work?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun."

Which end of the snorkel?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Silk shirt between the mattress and the bed base

Surprisingly effective, and realistic

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to put a towel around my cock when I used to wank. Think death grip but 10 times worse

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't believe I'm going to admit to this but saw a program and a guy peeled a banana and used the peel to wrap around his cock and wank with it as he said it felt amazing. I tried it and it was quite good! Messy and slimy but rather fun to be honest!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ream3.14159Man
over a year ago

Here & there


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"

My imagination, it is pretty strange believe me

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I used to put a towel around my cock when I used to wank. Think death grip but 10 times worse"

Did it have any long term effect?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did it have any long term effect?"

It was desensitized to actual vagina so it was a lot harder to cum, which is good or bad depending on how you look at it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun.

Which end of the snorkel? "

Haha the straight end, not the end with the mouthpiece

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Did it have any long term effect?

It was desensitized to actual vagina so it was a lot harder to cum, which is good or bad depending on how you look at it"

How do you look at it or do you find equal positives and negatives?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was younger I tried to penetrate a balloon

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you look at it or do you find equal positives and negatives?"

It was nice to be able to pound away and be aggressive for a long time. However, sensitivity is a good thing, sex is a lot more enjoyable with a sensitive dick. I've learnt to be able to last a good amount of time through breathing etc

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"How do you look at it or do you find equal positives and negatives?

It was nice to be able to pound away and be aggressive for a long time. However, sensitivity is a good thing, sex is a lot more enjoyable with a sensitive dick. I've learnt to be able to last a good amount of time through breathing etc"

So you got the sensitivity back once you stopped? Sorry for all the questions .

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"When I was younger I tried to penetrate a balloon "

Did the friction make your hair stand on end ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun.

Which end of the snorkel? "

Don't

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I was younger I tried to penetrate a balloon

Did the friction make your hair stand on end ?"

Pubic hair, yes

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The pumpable straw out of a hand soap dispenser

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So you got the sensitivity back once you stopped? Sorry for all the questions ."

Yeah pretty much

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"So you got the sensitivity back once you stopped? Sorry for all the questions .

Yeah pretty much"

That's good

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So you got the sensitivity back once you stopped? Sorry for all the questions .

Yeah pretty much

That's good "

Pmsl

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can't believe I'm going to admit to this but saw a program and a guy peeled a banana and used the peel to wrap around his cock and wank with it as he said it felt amazing. I tried it and it was quite good! Messy and slimy but rather fun to be honest! "

Is not just the same as having a lubed wank?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A jar of deliciously thick gooey jam...

B

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A jar of deliciously thick gooey jam...

B"

Jam could be fun

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A jar of deliciously thick gooey jam...

B

Jam could be fun "

It was. The beautiful weirdness of sinking into it was a thrill as was the texture (small segments of strawberries gripping my cock "just so"...) As was being watched throughout!

But it made ever such a mess...

B

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

[Removed by poster at 22/11/19 10:45:17]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A jar of deliciously thick gooey jam...

B

Jam could be fun

It was. The beautiful weirdness of sinking into it was a thrill as was the texture (small segments of strawberries gripping my cock "just so"...) As was being watched throughout!

But it made ever such a mess...

B"

Sounds delicious

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can't believe I'm going to admit to this but saw a program and a guy peeled a banana and used the peel to wrap around his cock and wank with it as he said it felt amazing. I tried it and it was quite good! Messy and slimy but rather fun to be honest!

Is not just the same as having a lubed wank?"

No it was a bit better as the banana skin gripped a bit all round.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can't believe I'm going to admit to this but saw a program and a guy peeled a banana and used the peel to wrap around his cock and wank with it as he said it felt amazing. I tried it and it was quite good! Messy and slimy but rather fun to be honest!

Is not just the same as having a lubed wank?

No it was a bit better as the banana skin gripped a bit all round. "

Oh okay

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Il never look at jam the same again now

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Watching Doris next door her garden. She’s in her 80’s

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Watching Doris next door her garden. She’s in her 80’s "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"Watching Doris next door her garden. She’s in her 80’s "

Hubbies leg and a hair brush lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"Watching Doris next door her garden. She’s in her 80’s

Hubbies leg and a hair brush lol"

But she looks 75

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Watching Doris next door her garden. She’s in her 80’s

Hubbies leg and a hair brush lol

But she looks 75 "

Well when you put it that way

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha"

Wine bottle

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha

Wine bottle "

What a fantastic arse wow we both munch on that

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha

Wine bottle

What a fantastic arse wow we both munch on that "

Thanks

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha

Wine bottle

What a fantastic arse wow we both munch on that

Thanks "

Dinner for two tonight

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Electric Toothbrush

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Electric Toothbrush "

10/10 of dentists recommended

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"

Does mrs Palmer and her five daughters count as strange or is it just normal?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

Does mrs Palmer and her five daughters count as strange or is it just normal? "

I know a Mrs Palm aswell and her 5 sisters are lovely too

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

Does mrs Palmer and her five daughters count as strange or is it just normal?

I know a Mrs Palm aswell and her 5 sisters are lovely too "

The one I know is different to yours!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *otrockWoman
over a year ago

Essex

The side of the bath many moons ago

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"The side of the bath many moons ago "

LOL the wife can relate to that even though she's sitting here all red saying shes never done it, think someone's telling fibs

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Oh god you lot make me laugh so much.

I’ve enjoyed this thread

Lex

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *otrockWoman
over a year ago

Essex

[Removed by poster at 22/11/19 22:53:21]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *otrockWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"The side of the bath many moons ago

LOL the wife can relate to that even though she's sitting here all red saying shes never done it, think someone's telling fibs "

Oh I did indulge a fair few times once I knew it got me off

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *awk90Man
over a year ago

Amsterdam

A rope I climbed in gym class... My first ever orgasm. I climbed in a way that rubbed my crotch against it nicely...

It's a weird memory now. Makes me both tingle and feel uncomfortable!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think I have used anything weird at all... but then I didn't wank until I was 17

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"The side of the bath many moons ago

LOL the wife can relate to that even though she's sitting here all red saying shes never done it, think someone's telling fibs

Oh I did indulge a fair few times once I knew it got me off "

By this smile so did she haha 23 years together and I'm still finding out things I never knew before

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The side of the bath many moons ago

LOL the wife can relate to that even though she's sitting here all red saying shes never done it, think someone's telling fibs

Oh I did indulge a fair few times once I knew it got me off "

My bathroom is free right now, if you want to pop around? Haha!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

A Sure deodorant can and a cucumber (not at the same time) said cucumber was fed to my ex's missus in a salad and the rest to her horse!!!!

I felt guilty about the horse

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A red leather stiletto ??

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"A jar of deliciously thick gooey jam...

B

Jam could be fun

It was. The beautiful weirdness of sinking into it was a thrill as was the texture (small segments of strawberries gripping my cock "just so"...) As was being watched throughout!

But it made ever such a mess...

B"

Cream tea anyone?!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"When I was younger I tried to penetrate a balloon

Did the friction make your hair stand on end ?"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ikerdude2017Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Wearing a cage and massaging my cock through it to make me cum. Horny as fuck

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha

Wine bottle

What a fantastic arse wow we both munch on that

Thanks

Dinner for two tonight "

Sure why not

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs fawltey on fawlty towers when was about 14 haha just kept getting horn

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Normally £40 worth of petrol will suffice "

Especially with the older pumps ...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *irtybrit27Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

All these are making my gym sock look quite tame. I was practically an angel ?? how times have changed!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *otrockWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"The side of the bath many moons ago

LOL the wife can relate to that even though she's sitting here all red saying shes never done it, think someone's telling fibs

Oh I did indulge a fair few times once I knew it got me off

My bathroom is free right now, if you want to pop around? Haha!"

Such a shame your too far away... Think it's time for a bath

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What kind of shampoo? Must have been quite big?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bus.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You all are so creative pervs...!

I’ve cum when younger with the jet stream from the shower straight on my cock...

Was amazing cumming myself without touching it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"A bus."
a bus? Enlighten us fucked on a bus but never the actual bus.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *on779Man
over a year ago

west mersea colchester


"Cardboard tube from Middle of a toilet roll

Yes was way back in my early teens was very desperate shag anything days lol "

Oh I’ve put one of those round my cock to wank with before

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A bus. a bus? Enlighten us fucked on a bus but never the actual bus. "

No it's the strangest thing I've ever got off.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You all are so creative pervs...!

I’ve cum when younger with the jet stream from the shower straight on my cock...

Was amazing cumming myself without touching it "

Easy to clean after

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *imonTMan
over a year ago

hayes

Thanks for creating this thread.... Bizarrely I'm finding it a serious turn on and it's definitely made my Saturday morning. As to wanking.... Where were your profile pics when I was younger? They would totally have done it!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for creating this thread.... Bizarrely I'm finding it a serious turn on and it's definitely made my Saturday morning. As to wanking.... Where were your profile pics when I was younger? They would totally have done it!"

Ha ha thanks

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *alldarksurreyMan
over a year ago

surrey


"Cucumber and then served it to my brother in law

xx"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Cucumber and then served it to my brother in law

xx

"

How did I miss this

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Riding in a cross country competition when I was 18. Wasn't intentional though. Too much rubbage on the saddle. I was slightly mortified!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *jr41Couple
over a year ago

Wiltshire


"Many years ago a frozen sausage

Dont know why but that sent me into fits of giggles lolol"

It did me too

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Riding in a cross country competition when I was 18. Wasn't intentional though. Too much rubbage on the saddle. I was slightly mortified! "

Did people notice?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Riding in a cross country competition when I was 18. Wasn't intentional though. Too much rubbage on the saddle. I was slightly mortified!

Did people notice?"

Luckily no.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *shaka_tMan
over a year ago

Notts

Duvet cover

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ilveryFoxMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

A honeydew melon

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya’ll need Jesus

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A bus."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great thread and many inventive ideas. My submission is

Two slices of bread (in my 20s)

Or

Between the mattress and bed base (in my teens)

Or

The exhaust of my motorcycle (reasonably recent )

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A PM has reminded me about the vacuum cleaner.

I actually made an attachment with holes drilled in at at various points so I could regulate the suction over my dick.

A bit like playing a messy tune on a flute

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"
oscillating sander

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander "

Lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol "

it ruined me

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me "

I am sure it would have

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vaccum cleaner

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have "

just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached "

You should have tried with a 3mm thick..Next time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached

You should have tried with a 3mm thick..Next time. "

ouch no i like it to still be there

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago I had a metal bed with knobs on the end......

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached "

By the way I love your profile. It is hilarious. You have a great SOH.

Said that, I am not going to change my sexuality in any way shape or form. Lol. Straight means straight.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached

By the way I love your profile. It is hilarious. You have a great SOH.

Said that, I am not going to change my sexuality in any way shape or form. Lol. Straight means straight.

"

lol hey exactly be the person you are dont let anyone change you and thanks i try

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Years ago I had a metal bed with knobs on the end......"

Glad to know.

I will let my mate whistle and flute to comment on that. He will come up with something funnier that I could ever imagine.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached

By the way I love your profile. It is hilarious. You have a great SOH.

Said that, I am not going to change my sexuality in any way shape or form. Lol. Straight means straight.

lol hey exactly be the person you are dont let anyone change you and thanks i try "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"

A damp flannel inside a pint glass

(Didn’t all teenage boys try this back in the day!!?? )

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Years ago I had a metal bed with knobs on the end......

Glad to know.

I will let my mate whistle and flute to comment on that. He will come up with something funnier that I could ever imagine. "

i saw a vid once of a woman sliding down the wooden ornate bed post i mean it was 4"x4" with a rounded top omg couldn't believe how far she could get it in lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

A town near you perhaps

A potato masher (in my much younger days)

Mrs

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Electric toothbrush

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ya’ll need Jesus "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"
my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes? "

Of course

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course "

knew it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *istyblue1967Man
over a year ago

manchester

and who has had a posh wank ???? lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"

In my twenties I once tried an orbital sander.. They vibrate an awful lot..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *owithflow321Man
over a year ago

Molesey

Leaning against an old fashioned petrol lawnmower

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it "

I know. You are are very bright

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright "

i eat a lot of carrots

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright i eat a lot of carrots "

May try that myself.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright i eat a lot of carrots

May try that myself. "

it does help in dark rooms

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *istyblue1967Man
over a year ago

manchester

im sure back in the day women would get themselves off with the old fashioned twin tub washing machines !!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright i eat a lot of carrots

May try that myself. it does help in dark rooms "

Thanks for the useful information.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"im sure back in the day women would get themselves off with the old fashioned twin tub washing machines !!!"

Probably true

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"

Would it be strange to say, your pics.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

Would it be strange to say, your pics. "

Yah it would

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright i eat a lot of carrots

May try that myself. it does help in dark rooms

Thanks for the useful information."

do you go to clubs and i dont mean book clubs

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

Would it be strange to say, your pics.

Yah it would "

Better not say that then.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright i eat a lot of carrots

May try that myself. it does help in dark rooms

Thanks for the useful information.do you go to clubs and i dont mean book clubs "

I wouldn't be seen dead in book club. I go to knitting club instead.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

Would it be strange to say, your pics.

Yah it would

Better not say that then. "

Nope

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Leaning against an old fashioned petrol lawnmower "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *urhamgurlWoman
over a year ago

Durham

When I was younger pressing down on my bike seat as I was riding around

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I was younger pressing down on my bike seat as I was riding around"

Must have been an interesting ride

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *urhamgurlWoman
over a year ago

Durham


"When I was younger pressing down on my bike seat as I was riding around

Must have been an interesting ride "

Haha yes I loved my bike. I do something similar now at work. I take my shoe off and curl my leg underneath so I’m sitting and pressing against my heel. No one has any idea I’m basically masturbating while working

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I was younger pressing down on my bike seat as I was riding around

Must have been an interesting ride

Haha yes I loved my bike. I do something similar now at work. I take my shoe off and curl my leg underneath so I’m sitting and pressing against my heel. No one has any idea I’m basically masturbating while working "

Sounds hot

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 
 

By *ent4HotwifeMan
over a year ago

North Cotswolds

Imperial leather shower gel is the perfect consistency for a slippy and foamy wank, gets me off so quick in the shower. Try it!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
back to top