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"If you've discussed this and she's telling you she's happy why aren't you believing her? She isn't having an orgasm from what I can tell but you're putting a huge load of pressure on her so it's unlikely she will." I do believe she’s happy. I’m more curious about whether she has orgasms and if not, whether I can do more to get her there. So the pressure is more on me in a nice way. She doesn’t feel any pressure. I haven’t made a big deal about it. "Why not try a mutual masturbation or watch her pleasure herself of she doesn't feel too under pressure." Great idea "As for giving you a sign, a thumbs up or waving a flag when climax is reached kind of kills the moment don't you think? " . I’ll buy her a klaxon. | |||
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"You should be able to tell op " Well normally it’s obvious, but as has been pointed out, not all women are the same and I don’t want to make assumptions. Plus my girlfriend is kind of different. She’s foreign and so aside from some cultural differences, she also goes to the trouble of moaning in a second language. But mainly hasn’t had very many sexual partners at all, so she is very inexperienced although extremely open to trying new things. | |||
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"who normally instigates sex?" Me with a kiss and a touch and she’s usually dripping wet within seconds. Sometimes she reaches down. She is always enthusiastic. We see each other 48 consecutive hours a week and usually have sex 4 or 5 times. It’s awesome and I’m a very lucky boy. "Buy her a doxy wand, job done." I’ve got a bunch of toys and she’s more interested in me. | |||
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"Inviting advice particularly from women. My previous experience is that women usually achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, and it’s obvious when it happens. Things are different with my girlfriend. So we’ve been dating for over six months and the sex is the best I’ve ever had. Frequent and satisfying. For me and I’m certain for her too. But she doesn’t seem particularly interested in clitoral stimulation. She is very focussed on penetration and only with my cock. She’s not a fan of penetration with fingers or toys. While she loves receiving oral, I sense that she actually doesn’t like me rubbing her clit during sex as it’s too sensitive. It’s obvious that she genuinely really enjoys sex and usually collapses afterwards, falling asleep if we happen to be in bed. We’ve discussed this, of course, and she describes waves of electricity which flow through her body. But it’s not obvious to me if or when she cums. I think and hope that maybe she has multiple orgasms. She’s always vocal in different ways, but doesn’t announce she’s cumming despite me asking her to give me a sign. And at no point is there any significant climax to her responses during sex. It seems pretty much full on from start to finish. Which makes sex trickier for me because I’m used to climaxing together. Or at least that being my goal, even if it doesn’t always happen. She has had a very limited number of partners, so I’m not unduly flattered when she says this is the best sex she’s ever had. I’m trying to understand my girlfriend so I can please her and myself as much as possible. Like I say, she tells me she’s very happy, but I’m still curious as to what’s going on. Any ideas? Thanks " Hate to say it - but totally sounds unsatisfying!!!!!! Maybe she hasn’t ever climaxed and therefore doesn’t know what it’s like. Ie sex can be great and feel amazing but you might not cum. | |||
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"OP what a sweetheart for taking care over her pleasure X But if she is enjoying it and says she is fine, what more can you do? Best not push for anything and forget past experience.. just get to know eachother and take the pressure off the climax. Personally I like to communicate and connect during sex so we can know each other and our bodies better and heighten the experience. But also just sometimes like to get lost in it and enjoy the ride. My orgasms feel different from one to the next but they're usually pretty clear, even the subtle ones. It doesn't sound to me like she is having them...but may be she is experiencing something different to me x " Thank you I’ll gently probe her this weekend I was thinking that what might help is for a lovely lady to be with us and give first hand expert opinion on what’s happening and maybe give me a hand to blow her mind. More. | |||
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"OP what a sweetheart for taking care over her pleasure X But if she is enjoying it and says she is fine, what more can you do? Best not push for anything and forget past experience.. just get to know eachother and take the pressure off the climax. Personally I like to communicate and connect during sex so we can know each other and our bodies better and heighten the experience. But also just sometimes like to get lost in it and enjoy the ride. My orgasms feel different from one to the next but they're usually pretty clear, even the subtle ones. It doesn't sound to me like she is having them...but may be she is experiencing something different to me x Thank you I’ll gently probe her this weekend I was thinking that what might help is for a lovely lady to be with us and give first hand expert opinion on what’s happening and maybe give me a hand to blow her mind. More." Erm... how will that help? I'm an 'expert' in my body and my orgasms. How can I, or any other woman, be an expert on what your girlfriend is experiencing? I would feel hurt, insulted and angry if my partner suggested that another woman would help me understand what I was doing wrong - that's how I would hear it. Have you discussed bringing someone else in to your sex lives? | |||
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"OP what a sweetheart for taking care over her pleasure X But if she is enjoying it and says she is fine, what more can you do? Best not push for anything and forget past experience.. just get to know eachother and take the pressure off the climax. Personally I like to communicate and connect during sex so we can know each other and our bodies better and heighten the experience. But also just sometimes like to get lost in it and enjoy the ride. My orgasms feel different from one to the next but they're usually pretty clear, even the subtle ones. It doesn't sound to me like she is having them...but may be she is experiencing something different to me x Thank you I’ll gently probe her this weekend I was thinking that what might help is for a lovely lady to be with us and give first hand expert opinion on what’s happening and maybe give me a hand to blow her mind. More. Erm... how will that help? I'm an 'expert' in my body and my orgasms. How can I, or any other woman, be an expert on what your girlfriend is experiencing? I would feel hurt, insulted and angry if my partner suggested that another woman would help me understand what I was doing wrong - that's how I would hear it. Have you discussed bringing someone else in to your sex lives? " Totally agree with this reply from this poster! Wrong move and completely selfish. It’s demoralising and manipulative at the same time..... I seriously question your actions with this response. | |||
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"OP what a sweetheart for taking care over her pleasure X But if she is enjoying it and says she is fine, what more can you do? Best not push for anything and forget past experience.. just get to know eachother and take the pressure off the climax. Personally I like to communicate and connect during sex so we can know each other and our bodies better and heighten the experience. But also just sometimes like to get lost in it and enjoy the ride. My orgasms feel different from one to the next but they're usually pretty clear, even the subtle ones. It doesn't sound to me like she is having them...but may be she is experiencing something different to me x Thank you I’ll gently probe her this weekend I was thinking that what might help is for a lovely lady to be with us and give first hand expert opinion on what’s happening and maybe give me a hand to blow her mind. More." I think the general consensus is to not probe her at all. You seem to be approaching this like she has a problem and tbh, if you're stepping in with what you think 'should' be happening regarding her experience and her body, without being invited, is just a NO! | |||
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"OP what a sweetheart for taking care over her pleasure X But if she is enjoying it and says she is fine, what more can you do? Best not push for anything and forget past experience.. just get to know eachother and take the pressure off the climax. Personally I like to communicate and connect during sex so we can know each other and our bodies better and heighten the experience. But also just sometimes like to get lost in it and enjoy the ride. My orgasms feel different from one to the next but they're usually pretty clear, even the subtle ones. It doesn't sound to me like she is having them...but may be she is experiencing something different to me x Thank you I’ll gently probe her this weekend I was thinking that what might help is for a lovely lady to be with us and give first hand expert opinion on what’s happening and maybe give me a hand to blow her mind. More." Err. No. Don't do this. | |||
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"The probe comment was a joke. She knows I’d like another woman to join us - we communicate fairly well and an exploratory trip to Chams is on the cards. There is no manipulation - It’s what she wants which is most important and I will be led by her wishes. I’m happiest when I’m making her deliriously happy. Some people seem to be able to tell whether she is cumming or not simply from what I have shared here. So maybe It might be possible to have more insight in person?" The people who have said she is not cumming DO NOT know this, they are basing it on their own experiences, which is all anyone can do... | |||
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" Some people seem to be able to tell whether she is cumming or not simply from what I have shared here. So maybe It might be possible to have more insight in person?" OP, in all honesty, and despite you emphasising that your girlfriend isn't very experienced, it's actually *you* who is coming across as naiive here. Along with anyone else on this thread who's had the arrogance to 'confidently' state whether or not she's having orgasms. I mean, how the heck can *anyone* know that from a written description of someone they've never met?! It's ridiculous. The *only* person who can comment on the truth of the matter is *her*. If she's telling you she's cumming, and she's having a great time and feels satisfied, then believe her. Asking her to somehow alert you to the fact is potentially distracting and likely to dull the intensity of her experience, or stop it in its tracks altogether. More importantly, you're risking making her feel that she, and her body's natural responses, are inadequate in your view. You need to rem_mber that every woman is different and the way their orgasms play out are different too. This can be equally true of a single woman whose length and strength of orgasm each time can vary significantly based on a multitude of factors like mood, hormones, health, stimulation, environment etc. Orgasms do *not* have to be the stereotypical shrieking, shuddering, grimacing, convulsing events displayed on film, or on porn ('cos we all know how true to life that is ). It's entirely possible (for some women) to have a genuine orgasm wash over you even if, at that moment, you're laying outwardly still and calm. In fact, some women need to back off from stimulation as things build up to that point to let it happen at all. Just be pleased you're making her cum. I get that in an ideal world you'd enjoy some kind of outward 'confirmation' of that but if it doesn't feel natural for her to call out, or writhe about like she's possessed, then pressuring her might make her feel she has to fake the whole bloody performance to make you feel better. You'd surely prefer her to enjoy her orgasms in her own way rather than pretend? | |||
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"How old is she? Sounds like she's a crap shag. Women should cum loudly and at the same time as the man. Getting another woman involved is a great idea. She'll show your woman what she's doing wrong. " Harsh but it made me lol | |||
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"You answer a Q for me ........ Why do men imagine that two cold fingers up a foof feels like hot cock ? Why do men think a hissing , humming, twirling , flashing , disembodied lump of rubbery plastic feels like a hot cock attached to a hot body n ball sack ?" Not sure many men realistically think any of that. But based on the fact that many women enjoy fingers and toys, then they will at least be part of the love making process for many couples, right? "You'd surely prefer her to enjoy her orgasms in her own way rather than pretend? " Absolutely and maybe it’s my naivety that’s the issue. "I can shed no light on if she is orgasming, or how the OP can read if she has. My two penn'orth is that the OP is trying to be a considerate lover. No doubt he will correct me if I'm wrong but he is finding it hard to tell if she has climaxed. I believe that he would like to climax at (or as close to) the same time to allow them to bask in the "glow" together, rather than keep pumping away when she, in herself, is satisfied. She appears to be enjoying their sex so I don't think he wants to change her, just learn how to make things better by understanding the way she feels and acts. Maybe I've misunderstood, but it seems to me he is trying to make things better for them both, not change them per se." This "I've been thinking about the OP and this thread... What your previous experience of vocal, demonstratively orgasming women was them faking it to give you the 'climax together' experience? " I really don’t think so because I’ve tried to have honest communication with my partners and not cum myself until they have. Ideally. "Just wire her up to an orgasm detector and when the bulb lights up and the bell rings you know she has. " I did consider that this would be a useful invention. Thanks for your replies. | |||
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"Why would you care ..... It's hard for some people to cum men and women stop pushing her and enjoy it she will thank you for it ..." Because I feel selfish if I cum before she does. | |||
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"Why would you care ..... It's hard for some people to cum men and women stop pushing her and enjoy it she will thank you for it ... Because I feel selfish if I cum before she does." I have never orgasmed with anyone else and honestly, I'd like it to happen but I enjoy sex regardless, if someone let bringing it up and focused too much on it, it would put me off. If she's telling you she's enjoying it, believe her. | |||
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"Inviting advice particularly from women. My previous experience is that women usually achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, and it’s obvious when it happens. Things are different with my girlfriend. So we’ve been dating for over six months and the sex is the best I’ve ever had. Frequent and satisfying. For me and I’m certain for her too. But she doesn’t seem particularly interested in clitoral stimulation. She is very focussed on penetration and only with my cock. She’s not a fan of penetration with fingers or toys. While she loves receiving oral, I sense that she actually doesn’t like me rubbing her clit during sex as it’s too sensitive. It’s obvious that she genuinely really enjoys sex and usually collapses afterwards, falling asleep if we happen to be in bed. We’ve discussed this, of course, and she describes waves of electricity which flow through her body. But it’s not obvious to me if or when she cums. I think and hope that maybe she has multiple orgasms. She’s always vocal in different ways, but doesn’t announce she’s cumming despite me asking her to give me a sign. And at no point is there any significant climax to her responses during sex. It seems pretty much full on from start to finish. Which makes sex trickier for me because I’m used to climaxing together. Or at least that being my goal, even if it doesn’t always happen. She has had a very limited number of partners, so I’m not unduly flattered when she says this is the best sex she’s ever had. I’m trying to understand my girlfriend so I can please her and myself as much as possible. Like I say, she tells me she’s very happy, but I’m still curious as to what’s going on. Any ideas? Thanks " You might be watching too much porn. Lol. Every woman is different. Communicate with her. Listen to her body..Listen to her mind. She might have some kind of hold up when it comes to sex which maybe preventing her to orgasm. Only she will know that. None of us posting on here would know that.. I know, it may not be the answer you were looking for. But if you want to help her, unfortunately that is the only way I guess. | |||
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"My ex wife could only cum with me licking her " Mine used to say the same thing. But apparently other guys did it too | |||
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"Funny " That too. She would always laugh during sex. No matter what book she was reading. | |||
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"If her vagina doesnt clench real tight round your cock she didnt cum " How interesting ! | |||
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"If her vagina doesnt clench real tight round your cock she didnt cum How interesting !" I know right! Can't believe all those women were faking it! | |||
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"Why would you care ..... It's hard for some people to cum men and women stop pushing her and enjoy it she will thank you for it ... Because I feel selfish if I cum before she does. I have never orgasmed with anyone else and honestly, I'd like it to happen but I enjoy sex regardless, if someone let bringing it up and focused too much on it, it would put me off. If she's telling you she's enjoying it, believe her. " Don't be daft, how can you know what women like? There's loads of really clever men telling other men what women want. Even full descriptions of how women want oral sex done to them. If the woman doesn't cum it makes the man feel like he failed at sex. It's her responsibility to do what makes the man happy. Read all the advice from men and you - and I - will be better at sex. | |||
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"Why would you care ..... It's hard for some people to cum men and women stop pushing her and enjoy it she will thank you for it ... Because I feel selfish if I cum before she does. I have never orgasmed with anyone else and honestly, I'd like it to happen but I enjoy sex regardless, if someone let bringing it up and focused too much on it, it would put me off. If she's telling you she's enjoying it, believe her. Don't be daft, how can you know what women like? There's loads of really clever men telling other men what women want. Even full descriptions of how women want oral sex done to them. If the woman doesn't cum it makes the man feel like he failed at sex. It's her responsibility to do what makes the man happy. Read all the advice from men and you - and I - will be better at sex." #MenKnowBest | |||
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"Some men have silent orgasms. Some women have silent orgasms. I don't always want to break the intoxicating feeling in my head to let my man know I have arrived. Those orgasms are way better than the screaming banshee ones, from a cervix bashing. " I have non vocal orgasms, he always knows I've orgasmed from my physical reactions | |||
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"If her vagina doesnt clench real tight round your cock she didnt cum How interesting ! I know right! Can't believe all those women were faking it! " Im clenching my vagina right now...can ya feel it? OP good for you on focusing on your girls pleasure, but do listen to her and not this lot | |||
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"If her vagina doesnt clench real tight round your cock she didnt cum How interesting ! I know right! Can't believe all those women were faking it! Im clenching my vagina right now...can ya feel it? OP good for you on focusing on your girls pleasure, but do listen to her and not this lot" Aw it's so sweet of you to go to the trouble! You shouldn't have Sorry but are we discussing a man giving oral sex to a woman or on a woman pleasuring herself? | |||
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"She isn’t cumming" | |||
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"Gotta love a bit of mansplaining women's orgasms" You're right men should say "I don't give a fuck. My woman cums" instead of trying to help out because they've had a situation that was similar and found something that works. Isn't that what forums are about? Sharing experiences. Heaven forbid a man thinks he knows how to give oral. | |||
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"Ah buddy, has no one ever told you the secret combination? It's like unlocking a safe. You enter her at a 36 degree angle, twist the left nipple 3 times in an anticlockwise fashion and whisper the secret password in her right ear (it's "boaby" . Presto - orgasmo! You're welcome" See? Men do know what it takes. Although 35 degrees works better for me. | |||
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"Why would you care ..... It's hard for some people to cum men and women stop pushing her and enjoy it she will thank you for it ... Because I feel selfish if I cum before she does. I have never orgasmed with anyone else and honestly, I'd like it to happen but I enjoy sex regardless, if someone let bringing it up and focused too much on it, it would put me off. If she's telling you she's enjoying it, believe her. Don't be daft, how can you know what women like? There's loads of really clever men telling other men what women want. Even full descriptions of how women want oral sex done to them. If the woman doesn't cum it makes the man feel like he failed at sex. It's her responsibility to do what makes the man happy. Read all the advice from men and you - and I - will be better at sex. #MenKnowBest" Know your place | |||
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"Gotta love a bit of mansplaining women's orgasms You're right men should say "I don't give a fuck. My woman cums" instead of trying to help out because they've had a situation that was similar and found something that works. Isn't that what forums are about? Sharing experiences. Heaven forbid a man thinks he knows how to give oral. " You do realise in his OP he said he was asking mostly women for advice, so guess what? We gave him advice. Also, if you check out the women oral threads, there's loads of women who say it's boring or crap, soooooo evidence suggests there are a fair few men who are crap at oral. Heaven forbid women might know what other women like and give constructive advice to someone who asks women for advice. | |||
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"Why would you care ..... It's hard for some people to cum men and women stop pushing her and enjoy it she will thank you for it ... Because I feel selfish if I cum before she does. I have never orgasmed with anyone else and honestly, I'd like it to happen but I enjoy sex regardless, if someone let bringing it up and focused too much on it, it would put me off. If she's telling you she's enjoying it, believe her. Don't be daft, how can you know what women like? There's loads of really clever men telling other men what women want. Even full descriptions of how women want oral sex done to them. If the woman doesn't cum it makes the man feel like he failed at sex. It's her responsibility to do what makes the man happy. Read all the advice from men and you - and I - will be better at sex." Silly me, I better start faking then, don't want to upset the menfolk. | |||
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"Gotta love a bit of mansplaining women's orgasms You're right men should say "I don't give a fuck. My woman cums" instead of trying to help out because they've had a situation that was similar and found something that works. Isn't that what forums are about? Sharing experiences. Heaven forbid a man thinks he knows how to give oral. You do realise in his OP he said he was asking mostly women for advice, so guess what? We gave him advice. Also, if you check out the women oral threads, there's loads of women who say it's boring or crap, soooooo evidence suggests there are a fair few men who are crap at oral. Heaven forbid women might know what other women like and give constructive advice to someone who asks women for advice." I'm not talking about women giving advice. I'm talking about the condescending attitude towards men who give advice. He asked for particularly women, not women only. As a man there is nothing in it for me personally to give advice on oral sex. Just trying to be a nice guy. Being patted on the head and being told to run along now isn't really we as men with the best of intentions deserved. Some men are terrible at giving oral. Guess what some women are worse. Forums are about sharing experiences and viewpoints. If you think advice is bad then don't use it. But owning a vagina doesn't put you on the panel of critics who decide who can say what. | |||
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"Gotta love a bit of mansplaining women's orgasms You're right men should say "I don't give a fuck. My woman cums" instead of trying to help out because they've had a situation that was similar and found something that works. Isn't that what forums are about? Sharing experiences. Heaven forbid a man thinks he knows how to give oral. You do realise in his OP he said he was asking mostly women for advice, so guess what? We gave him advice. Also, if you check out the women oral threads, there's loads of women who say it's boring or crap, soooooo evidence suggests there are a fair few men who are crap at oral. Heaven forbid women might know what other women like and give constructive advice to someone who asks women for advice. I'm not talking about women giving advice. I'm talking about the condescending attitude towards men who give advice. He asked for particularly women, not women only. As a man there is nothing in it for me personally to give advice on oral sex. Just trying to be a nice guy. Being patted on the head and being told to run along now isn't really we as men with the best of intentions deserved. Some men are terrible at giving oral. Guess what some women are worse. Forums are about sharing experiences and viewpoints. If you think advice is bad then don't use it. But owning a vagina doesn't put you on the panel of critics who decide who can say what." You were the one that came out with this "Sorry but are we discussing a man giving oral sex to a woman or on a woman pleasuring herself?" When a woman dared to say something. Don't fire a shot then bitch when someone fires back. | |||
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"Gotta love a bit of mansplaining women's orgasms You're right men should say "I don't give a fuck. My woman cums" instead of trying to help out because they've had a situation that was similar and found something that works. Isn't that what forums are about? Sharing experiences. Heaven forbid a man thinks he knows how to give oral. You do realise in his OP he said he was asking mostly women for advice, so guess what? We gave him advice. Also, if you check out the women oral threads, there's loads of women who say it's boring or crap, soooooo evidence suggests there are a fair few men who are crap at oral. Heaven forbid women might know what other women like and give constructive advice to someone who asks women for advice. I'm not talking about women giving advice. I'm talking about the condescending attitude towards men who give advice. He asked for particularly women, not women only. As a man there is nothing in it for me personally to give advice on oral sex. Just trying to be a nice guy. Being patted on the head and being told to run along now isn't really we as men with the best of intentions deserved. Some men are terrible at giving oral. Guess what some women are worse. Forums are about sharing experiences and viewpoints. If you think advice is bad then don't use it. But owning a vagina doesn't put you on the panel of critics who decide who can say what. You were the one that came out with this "Sorry but are we discussing a man giving oral sex to a woman or on a woman pleasuring herself?" When a woman dared to say something. Don't fire a shot then bitch when someone fires back. " Yes because men giving advice on giving oral sex was described as men "mansplaining" the female orgasm to women. Men weren't explaining the orgasm to women. They were discussing oral sex techniques. I did not fire the first shot. Read up from when I posted that comment. | |||
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"One word... Fingerblast!" My ex was all clit she very rarely cum with my fingers inside her an now she cnt cum hahahahaha | |||
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"Gotta love a bit of mansplaining women's orgasms You're right men should say "I don't give a fuck. My woman cums" instead of trying to help out because they've had a situation that was similar and found something that works. Isn't that what forums are about? Sharing experiences. Heaven forbid a man thinks he knows how to give oral. You do realise in his OP he said he was asking mostly women for advice, so guess what? We gave him advice. Also, if you check out the women oral threads, there's loads of women who say it's boring or crap, soooooo evidence suggests there are a fair few men who are crap at oral. Heaven forbid women might know what other women like and give constructive advice to someone who asks women for advice. I'm not talking about women giving advice. I'm talking about the condescending attitude towards men who give advice. He asked for particularly women, not women only. As a man there is nothing in it for me personally to give advice on oral sex. Just trying to be a nice guy. Being patted on the head and being told to run along now isn't really we as men with the best of intentions deserved. Some men are terrible at giving oral. Guess what some women are worse. Forums are about sharing experiences and viewpoints. If you think advice is bad then don't use it. But owning a vagina doesn't put you on the panel of critics who decide who can say what. You were the one that came out with this "Sorry but are we discussing a man giving oral sex to a woman or on a woman pleasuring herself?" When a woman dared to say something. Don't fire a shot then bitch when someone fires back. Yes because men giving advice on giving oral sex was described as men "mansplaining" the female orgasm to women. Men weren't explaining the orgasm to women. They were discussing oral sex techniques. I did not fire the first shot. Read up from when I posted that comment. " The mansplaining comment was after you said that. | |||
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"Thanks for all the replies. To clarify, I’m talking about sex in general, both oral and penetrative. I’m asking this question because I want sex for her to be as good as possible. She says she enjoys sex (“amazing” is how she has described it - down, ego, DOWN!) and her responses during sex (which I’m 100% certain are genuine) are illustrative of someone having extreme pleasure. So I believe her when she says she enjoys sex. Following advice here, I asked her to show me how she makes herself cum and she was happy to do that. She explained that she usually rubs a spot just inside. I think she’s found her G spot and a combination of that and gentle clitoral stimulation is what gets her there. But she says she gets more pleasure from penetrative sex. We haven’t discussed this before because it hasn’t felt particularly important and I’ve not made a big deal about it and neither of us feel under pressure. So to conclude, I don’t think she usually cums in the way I’ve experienced with other partners, but it doesn’t really matter because we are both enjoying sex a lot. And there is still plenty to discover about each other, so that’s going to be fun." Yes, this is exactly how to do it, go with the flow and as long as you're both enjoying it, don't worry about orgasms. | |||
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"Thanks for all the replies. To clarify, I’m talking about sex in general, both oral and penetrative. I’m asking this question because I want sex for her to be as good as possible. She says she enjoys sex (“amazing” is how she has described it - down, ego, DOWN!) and her responses during sex (which I’m 100% certain are genuine) are illustrative of someone having extreme pleasure. So I believe her when she says she enjoys sex. Following advice here, I asked her to show me how she makes herself cum and she was happy to do that. She explained that she usually rubs a spot just inside. I think she’s found her G spot and a combination of that and gentle clitoral stimulation is what gets her there. But she says she gets more pleasure from penetrative sex. We haven’t discussed this before because it hasn’t felt particularly important and I’ve not made a big deal about it and neither of us feel under pressure. So to conclude, I don’t think she usually cums in the way I’ve experienced with other partners, but it doesn’t really matter because we are both enjoying sex a lot. And there is still plenty to discover about each other, so that’s going to be fun." Enjoy the exploration and keep talking to each other. | |||
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"Inviting advice particularly from women. My previous experience is that women usually achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, and it’s obvious when it happens. Things are different with my girlfriend. So we’ve been dating for over six months and the sex is the best I’ve ever had. Frequent and satisfying. For me and I’m certain for her too. But she doesn’t seem particularly interested in clitoral stimulation. She is very focussed on penetration and only with my cock. She’s not a fan of penetration with fingers or toys. While she loves receiving oral, I sense that she actually doesn’t like me rubbing her clit during sex as it’s too sensitive. It’s obvious that she genuinely really enjoys sex and usually collapses afterwards, falling asleep if we happen to be in bed. We’ve discussed this, of course, and she describes waves of electricity which flow through her body. But it’s not obvious to me if or when she cums. I think and hope that maybe she has multiple orgasms. She’s always vocal in different ways, but doesn’t announce she’s cumming despite me asking her to give me a sign. And at no point is there any significant climax to her responses during sex. It seems pretty much full on from start to finish. Which makes sex trickier for me because I’m used to climaxing together. Or at least that being my goal, even if it doesn’t always happen. She has had a very limited number of partners, so I’m not unduly flattered when she says this is the best sex she’s ever had. I’m trying to understand my girlfriend so I can please her and myself as much as possible. Like I say, she tells me she’s very happy, but I’m still curious as to what’s going on. Any ideas? Thanks " It's about 2 and a half minutes before your cup of tea, pal. | |||
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"Gotta love a bit of mansplaining women's orgasms You're right men should say "I don't give a fuck. My woman cums" instead of trying to help out because they've had a situation that was similar and found something that works. Isn't that what forums are about? Sharing experiences. Heaven forbid a man thinks he knows how to give oral. You do realise in his OP he said he was asking mostly women for advice, so guess what? We gave him advice. Also, if you check out the women oral threads, there's loads of women who say it's boring or crap, soooooo evidence suggests there are a fair few men who are crap at oral. Heaven forbid women might know what other women like and give constructive advice to someone who asks women for advice. I'm not talking about women giving advice. I'm talking about the condescending attitude towards men who give advice. He asked for particularly women, not women only. As a man there is nothing in it for me personally to give advice on oral sex. Just trying to be a nice guy. Being patted on the head and being told to run along now isn't really we as men with the best of intentions deserved. Some men are terrible at giving oral. Guess what some women are worse. Forums are about sharing experiences and viewpoints. If you think advice is bad then don't use it. But owning a vagina doesn't put you on the panel of critics who decide who can say what. You were the one that came out with this "Sorry but are we discussing a man giving oral sex to a woman or on a woman pleasuring herself?" When a woman dared to say something. Don't fire a shot then bitch when someone fires back. Yes because men giving advice on giving oral sex was described as men "mansplaining" the female orgasm to women. Men weren't explaining the orgasm to women. They were discussing oral sex techniques. I did not fire the first shot. Read up from when I posted that comment. The mansplaining comment was after you said that. " "Don't be daft, how can you know what women like? There's loads of really clever men telling other men what women want. Even full descriptions of how women want oral sex done to them." So you think there's nothing condescending and patronising about this? So let's leave vaginal oral sex to the women. And by the same token leave blowjobs to bi and gay men because using the same argument how can women possibly know how to please a man if they don't possess a penis. | |||
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"This thread has reminded me how much people see orgasm as the ultimate goal. I really enjoy the journey. Sometimes that will be the scenic route and sometimes a more direct route. Getting there isn't always the best bit and sometimes you just run out of fuel. " I get more stressed if the focus is on the orgasm because I feel guilty then when it doesn't happen. I'd rather just have fun and it finishes when we are too tired to continue | |||
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"This thread has reminded me how much people see orgasm as the ultimate goal. I really enjoy the journey. Sometimes that will be the scenic route and sometimes a more direct route. Getting there isn't always the best bit and sometimes you just run out of fuel. I get more stressed if the focus is on the orgasm because I feel guilty then when it doesn't happen. I'd rather just have fun and it finishes when we are too tired to continue" If I do get into orgasm mode then I get very bossy. I need the him of the moment to do exactly what I tell them to do. It kills it for some but others respond and I will then reward them, when I've recovered. I don't like it when men ask me to count my orgasms. If I have a 'rolling' orgasm does it count as one or six, 10, whatever? I know it's a massive ego boost but I don't want to be counting. | |||
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"This thread has reminded me how much people see orgasm as the ultimate goal. I really enjoy the journey. Sometimes that will be the scenic route and sometimes a more direct route. Getting there isn't always the best bit and sometimes you just run out of fuel. " I tell the men I'm thinking of meeting that what comes prior to an orgasm is more pleasurable to me. | |||
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"This thread has reminded me how much people see orgasm as the ultimate goal. I really enjoy the journey. Sometimes that will be the scenic route and sometimes a more direct route. Getting there isn't always the best bit and sometimes you just run out of fuel. I tell the men I'm thinking of meeting that what comes prior to an orgasm is more pleasurable to me." You are much nicer than me. I tell them I prefer them not to cum - at all. This could be why I don't get much sex. | |||
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"I’ve never orgasmed during sex, I get really wet and enjoy it, but when someone is trying to force me to orgasm it really turns me off. That’s why I enjoy penetration over oral. Ever since I started masturbating (I’ve never been able to get myself off with my fingers) only a wand will do it, it’s not that I’m not sensitive, I can bring myself off with a wand in about 10 seconds if I want to." Sorry if this is an obvious question, but have you not used a wand during sex? | |||
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"That's strange. I can usually tell when your girlfriend is cumming. " Lol | |||
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"Gotta love a bit of mansplaining women's orgasms You're right men should say "I don't give a fuck. My woman cums" instead of trying to help out because they've had a situation that was similar and found something that works. Isn't that what forums are about? Sharing experiences. Heaven forbid a man thinks he knows how to give oral. You do realise in his OP he said he was asking mostly women for advice, so guess what? We gave him advice. Also, if you check out the women oral threads, there's loads of women who say it's boring or crap, soooooo evidence suggests there are a fair few men who are crap at oral. Heaven forbid women might know what other women like and give constructive advice to someone who asks women for advice. I'm not talking about women giving advice. I'm talking about the condescending attitude towards men who give advice. He asked for particularly women, not women only. As a man there is nothing in it for me personally to give advice on oral sex. Just trying to be a nice guy. Being patted on the head and being told to run along now isn't really we as men with the best of intentions deserved. Some men are terrible at giving oral. Guess what some women are worse. Forums are about sharing experiences and viewpoints. If you think advice is bad then don't use it. But owning a vagina doesn't put you on the panel of critics who decide who can say what. You were the one that came out with this "Sorry but are we discussing a man giving oral sex to a woman or on a woman pleasuring herself?" When a woman dared to say something. Don't fire a shot then bitch when someone fires back. Yes because men giving advice on giving oral sex was described as men "mansplaining" the female orgasm to women. Men weren't explaining the orgasm to women. They were discussing oral sex techniques. I did not fire the first shot. Read up from when I posted that comment. The mansplaining comment was after you said that. "Don't be daft, how can you know what women like? There's loads of really clever men telling other men what women want. Even full descriptions of how women want oral sex done to them." So you think there's nothing condescending and patronising about this? So let's leave vaginal oral sex to the women. And by the same token leave blowjobs to bi and gay men because using the same argument how can women possibly know how to please a man if they don't possess a penis." What does condescending mean? | |||
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