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If you fell down the stairs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If you fell down the stairs, whilst carrying a well known vacuum cleaner brand, and an attachment got stuck up your posterior, what would your explanation be to the Doctor to avoid embarrassment?

Asking for a friend.

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I was trying to give myself a home made colonic irrigation. I am desperate to lose weight and heard it helps x

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By *ristol HellfireMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"If you fell down the stairs, whilst carrying a well known vacuum cleaner brand, and an attachment got stuck up your posterior, what would your explanation be to the Doctor to avoid embarrassment?

Asking for a friend."

This is a difficult one to answer as some vacuum cleaner attachments are quite large.

I suggest that your 'friend' tells the doctor that they were attempting to retrieve the sex toy that they had accidentally sat on the evening before.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

The falling down the stairs alone would suck!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"If you fell down the stairs, whilst carrying a well known vacuum cleaner brand, and an attachment got stuck up your posterior, what would your explanation be to the Doctor to avoid embarrassment?

Asking for a friend."

Tell them that You complained that your wife/maid/gf wasn't doing a good job of vacuuming and the next thing you knew about it was waking up with a sore head and arse

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

It was punishment for falling asleep on a stag

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Someone accused me of having my head stuck up my own bottom. The only way I could think of extracting it was to use the vacuum cleaner on full thrust. As you can see doc it got my head out but the force of extraction sucked the nozzle in. I'm loath to stick my head back up there and the ferret I sent in after it has come out and refused to go back in.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I'd say i was trying to get the ping pong balls back out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was trying to retrieve my gerbil

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

Just be honest. They've seen and heard it all. Just don't forget to mention that you want the other household items left in, as they enhance your sex life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm.

This is exactly what it looks like.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just be honest. They've seen and heard it all. Just don't forget to mention that you want the other household items left in, as they enhance your sex life.

"

How will a fridge enhance my sex life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just be honest. They've seen and heard it all. Just don't forget to mention that you want the other household items left in, as they enhance your sex life.

How will a fridge enhance my sex life? "

Rest your balls in the freezer section for 10 minutes to prevent premature ejaculation.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"Just be honest. They've seen and heard it all. Just don't forget to mention that you want the other household items left in, as they enhance your sex life.

How will a fridge enhance my sex life? "

It will get you accustomed to sleeping next to a cold inanimate object if you get married and p.ss the mrs off

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just be honest. They've seen and heard it all. Just don't forget to mention that you want the other household items left in, as they enhance your sex life.

How will a fridge enhance my sex life?

It will get you accustomed to sleeping next to a cold inanimate object if you get married and p.ss the mrs off"

Ouch Mrs Dyson sucks but not like that!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

Welsh Lass

I’d tell them i was constipated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv not had a shit in 2 weeks so needed to open the roads a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was trying to retrieve my gerbil "

Might this gerbil be called Raggit?

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

I was trying to make the hot pics section of Fab and things went a bit wrong. Can you please also retrieve the marrow?

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By *uryWhipMan
over a year ago

Harringay

I think youd just have to confess and be honest. If you were analy masturbating with a vaccume attachment then thats what you were doing. Its the 21st century Im sure A&E have seen worse. I fell down the stairs with the hoover and all i got was a cracked tooth and a twisted ankle; didnt groped by no Dyson

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you fell down the stairs, whilst carrying a well known vacuum cleaner brand, and an attachment got stuck up your posterior, what would your explanation be to the Doctor to avoid embarrassment?

Asking for a friend."
Henry couldnt help himself he just loves sucking especially guys arses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something happened to me just like that but instead of said attachment going up my arse it landed on my dick. I couldn’t get it off even with the power turned off.

Thankfully the paramedic pulled it off although I thought my cock would get pulled off. The paramedic told me my cock was like a black mans. I asked if he meant if it was very big. He said no, just black.

But my advice to you, sorry I mean your friend is to learn from this accident and wear some fucking trousers around your house. It saves on brown marks on the furniture too.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Something happened to me just like that but instead of said attachment going up my arse it landed on my dick. I couldn’t get it off even with the power turned off.

Thankfully the paramedic pulled it off although I thought my cock would get pulled off. The paramedic told me my cock was like a black mans. I asked if he meant if it was very big. He said no, just black.

But my advice to you, sorry I mean your friend is to learn from this accident and wear some fucking trousers around your house. It saves on brown marks on the furniture too. "

Where can I get some of these fucking trousers? It might save a lot of time...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you fell down the stairs, whilst carrying a well known vacuum cleaner brand, and an attachment got stuck up your posterior, what would your explanation be to the Doctor to avoid embarrassment?

Asking for a friend.

This is a difficult one to answer as some vacuum cleaner attachments are quite large.

I suggest that your 'friend' tells the doctor that they were attempting to retrieve the sex toy that they had accidentally sat on the evening before."

I'm hopeless I'd tell the truth but like this explantion lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something happened to me just like that but instead of said attachment going up my arse it landed on my dick. I couldn’t get it off even with the power turned off.

Thankfully the paramedic pulled it off although I thought my cock would get pulled off. The paramedic told me my cock was like a black mans. I asked if he meant if it was very big. He said no, just black.

But my advice to you, sorry I mean your friend is to learn from this accident and wear some fucking trousers around your house. It saves on brown marks on the furniture too.

Where can I get some of these fucking trousers? It might save a lot of time... "

Matalan or TK Maxx

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By *uryWhipMan
over a year ago

Harringay


"Something happened to me just like that but instead of said attachment going up my arse it landed on my dick. I couldn’t get it off even with the power turned off.

Thankfully the paramedic pulled it off although I thought my cock would get pulled off. The paramedic told me my cock was like a black mans. I asked if he meant if it was very big. He said no, just black.

But my advice to you, sorry I mean your friend is to learn from this accident and wear some fucking trousers around your house. It saves on brown marks on the furniture too.

Where can I get some of these fucking trousers? It might save a lot of time...

Matalan or TK Maxx "

They sell fucking trousers? Right, im off to get me some fucking trousers.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"If you fell down the stairs, whilst carrying a well known vacuum cleaner brand, and an attachment got stuck up your posterior, what would your explanation be to the Doctor to avoid embarrassment?

Asking for a friend."

I'd wear an England Rugby shirt and they would take the piss out of that instead. Thus avoiding the shame of having half a 'Dyson 2000' stuck up my arse.

warning! Bants!

Substitute 'England Rugby' for any other team.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

It’s happened again doc

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

Seriously oh not again!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread jinxed me... I fell on the way home and am now sporting a badly cut and bruised knee. No one saw so dignity intact

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