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"Men don’t know what they want until they’ve got it, once they’ve got it they want some thing else. I think that’s part of men never really growing up " Haha don’t think that’s just men to be fair! | |||
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"I wouldn't be offended by it, no. People can want a regular fwb and things don't quite work out that way with someone. You can't really plan for it to, it either happens or it doesn't. It sort of just happens with me without me asking or thinking *too* much about it (apart from when I get vagxiety about arranging another date). I do hope you find what you're looking for soon though, x" Vagxiety!!! That’s going in my Nora dictionary!! | |||
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"I’ve met a couple guys now who said they wanted regular meets but have drifted away after one or two. Should I be offended, or do some men just prefer novelty? Interested to hear other people’s experiences? X" Looking at your pics really not sure why a guy would not want to meet up regular But as said us guys are or can be a little confusing or confused We never always sure what we want But I have also found that a lot from the local ladies to us on this site | |||
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"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. " Makes sense. Never thought about it like that. | |||
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"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. " Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue. | |||
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"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue. " I’m exactly the same. There’s got to be a little bit of emotion for me to want to see someone again. | |||
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"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue. " Agree with that. Communication can break down when there's a flutter of something for many. I'd say it's not gender specific as a rule, but guys are generally a bit worse at conveying that. Generalising a little, of course. But it's reasonably accurate | |||
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"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue. " So much this. I need to like and respect and feel some connection before I want to play. It can turn into love long term, it has for me. But it's not romantic love, it's love like Rachel loves Joey. A guy many, many years ago said to me "You can tell me anything, we're very close. We have sex ffs, you can't get much closer" That to me is a fwb. An actual friend that you also have sex with. | |||
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"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue. " It can be a difficult balance between enough of a connection that you can't wait to get your hands on each other when you see them but not develop any emotional attachment. If its just sex then there needs to be something different or more to it to keep drawing people back | |||
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"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. " This happened to me, so I called it off | |||
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"Has it never been the other way round OP? Maybe look at your recruitment program and interview process? I think a lot of guys would be happy with FWB. Multiple meets and all the drama and faffing that goes with that is hard work when you have a busy life and responsibilities etc... I guess there are plenty of dudes who'll way whatever to to get a shag because it's such hard work apparently as a guy (it's really not, but.....), but then what's the value in a lie of a shag... ? " Way? Say* | |||
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"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue. Agree with that. Communication can break down when there's a flutter of something for many. I'd say it's not gender specific as a rule, but guys are generally a bit worse at conveying that. Generalising a little, of course. But it's reasonably accurate" It seems like a big taboo on here. Personally unless I feel something for someone I can’t have sex with them regularly. It doesn’t work for me. I get that some can though. I really think it depends on the type of person you are and how you deal with things. I know that I don’t and never will want more than a FWB relationship. I’m happy with my life and don’t want anyone else in it permanently (ie a proper relationship). I know I’ll never budge on that no matter what. Doesn’t mean I can’t have feelings for someone though. I love mine to bits and I hope it carries on forever to be honest but I’ll never be taking him to my mums for Christmas dinner! | |||
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"I’ve not had a problem with consistent regular meets but to be fair i do talk for AGES before i meet someone so they are probably milking me (oh er) for all the waffling they’ve have to endure to get in my knickers If a man doesn’t mind you chatting general shit to him daily then he’ll probably be a stayer. If it’s just sex chat then they will be highly likely to fuck off once you’ve had the sex. " Yes. Definitely | |||
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"I’ve not had a problem with consistent regular meets but to be fair i do talk for AGES before i meet someone so they are probably milking me (oh er) for all the waffling they’ve have to endure to get in my knickers If a man doesn’t mind you chatting general shit to him daily then he’ll probably be a stayer. If it’s just sex chat then they will be highly likely to fuck off once you’ve had the sex. " Yes I’ve noticed this too x | |||
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"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. " Good point here. Its happened where a few of my Fwbs have developed feelings and there was one where I developed feelings myself, in that scenario she did say some words that Fwb shouldn't really use with that sort of agreement. Messed with my head abit unfortunately! | |||
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"I love to talk to people, in general, and get to know them on a deeper level. I’m also naturally warm and friendly. I think men sometimes mistake that for neediness and assume I’m going to trap them in a relationship. Except I know myself and I know I do not, categorically, want a relationship right now. But I do want a good friend I can fuck " I’d say just be honest. I always have been. From the very beginning. Most of it was on my profile. Ie: only looking for one person, I don’t share etc etc. Then at least everyone knows where they stand. I got a lot of what are you doing on here it’s a swingers site etc etc. So what. If you know exactly what you’re looking for then tell them, if they don’t like it they’ll move on. If everyone was just honest with what they’re looking for without being embarrassed or worried about putting people off it would be much easier x | |||
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"It seems like a big taboo on here. Personally unless I feel something for someone I can’t have sex with them regularly. It doesn’t work for me. I get that some can though. I really think it depends on the type of person you are and how you deal with things. I know that I don’t and never will want more than a FWB relationship. I’m happy with my life and don’t want anyone else in it permanently (ie a proper relationship). I know I’ll never budge on that no matter what. Doesn’t mean I can’t have feelings for someone though. I love mine to bits and I hope it carries on forever to be honest but I’ll never be taking him to my mums for Christmas dinner! " I'd agree with all of this (maybe not the relationship thing!). It's such a taboo thing on here, it really is. I feel a love of some sort for all I meet regularly, I wouldn't be able to meet them if I didn't. I like the affection and intimacy and want that closeness and openness with someone. That's not to say everyone I meet I want that to happen with, nor that I have control of if it does or doesn't. | |||
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"It seems like a big taboo on here. Personally unless I feel something for someone I can’t have sex with them regularly. It doesn’t work for me. I get that some can though. I really think it depends on the type of person you are and how you deal with things. I know that I don’t and never will want more than a FWB relationship. I’m happy with my life and don’t want anyone else in it permanently (ie a proper relationship). I know I’ll never budge on that no matter what. Doesn’t mean I can’t have feelings for someone though. I love mine to bits and I hope it carries on forever to be honest but I’ll never be taking him to my mums for Christmas dinner! I'd agree with all of this (maybe not the relationship thing!). It's such a taboo thing on here, it really is. I feel a love of some sort for all I meet regularly, I wouldn't be able to meet them if I didn't. I like the affection and intimacy and want that closeness and openness with someone. That's not to say everyone I meet I want that to happen with, nor that I have control of if it does or doesn't." | |||
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"I've had the other side of the coin when it's meant to be NSA, then the green eyed monster raises its head. It's a bluddy minefield this FAB business " Me too. And with a woman! It’s definitely NSA only with a woman for me. Wasn’t a pleasant experience. This is why everyone needs to know the score from the beginning. | |||
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"I’ve met a couple guys now who said they wanted regular meets but have drifted away after one or two. Should I be offended, or do some men just prefer novelty? Interested to hear other people’s experiences? X" People come and go (no pun) for various reasons, it's just life. My longest fwb I've been seeing now for 3 1/2 years, most last for several months, but when you make a connection with someone it's great to enjoy it for as long as it lasts. One-offs are exciting, and have their place, but I prefer getting to know someone, and what really makes them tick. Variety is the spice of life, but I'm always pleased when someone asks me back for more | |||
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"We’ve encountered a fwb couple, but the male is just using the female so he can meet other females/couples. " That can be soul destroying. That's my single biggest hard limit, just the hint of someone expecting me to find or provide another woman and you're done. If you can't find it on your own then you're no use to me. | |||
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"I’ve met a couple guys now who said they wanted regular meets but have drifted away after one or two. Should I be offended, or do some men just prefer novelty? Interested to hear other people’s experiences? X" Firstly they've got to be crazy looking at you. But maybe those guys then got into a committed relationship, or perhaps moved away, or maybe even moved on to someone else. Each of us can only speak for ourselves but I wouldn't take it personally if I were you, you've got plenty going g for you | |||
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"We’ve encountered a fwb couple, but the male is just using the female so he can meet other females/couples. That can be soul destroying. That's my single biggest hard limit, just the hint of someone expecting me to find or provide another woman and you're done. If you can't find it on your own then you're no use to me. " Was really off putting when she explained the situation. | |||
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"We’ve encountered a fwb couple, but the male is just using the female so he can meet other females/couples. That can be soul destroying. That's my single biggest hard limit, just the hint of someone expecting me to find or provide another woman and you're done. If you can't find it on your own then you're no use to me. Was really off putting when she explained the situation. " I've been at fetish parties where men have sent a woman off round the room asking women to play with him. Im not going to judge anyone for doing anything but to me there is no class in that. Not even a trace. | |||
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"We’ve encountered a fwb couple, but the male is just using the female so he can meet other females/couples. That can be soul destroying. That's my single biggest hard limit, just the hint of someone expecting me to find or provide another woman and you're done. If you can't find it on your own then you're no use to me. Was really off putting when she explained the situation. I've been at fetish parties where men have sent a woman off round the room asking women to play with him. Im not going to judge anyone for doing anything but to me there is no class in that. Not even a trace. " Lmao! That's like back in the school playground again with "My mate fancies you....." So many forum posts from couples giving single guys in clubs a hard time, when you know the hubby wouldn't have the bottle to visit one by himself.... | |||
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"Man's version of FWB- random text at 2am "empty mi balls luv!" Woman's version of FWB- friends who talk like human beings, respect each other, friendship." I have the latter and my fwb is as happy with it as I am. | |||
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"I don't think you can go into meeting someone with the plan that they will become a fwb, it's just something that happens with the right person. Meet once and if it's good meet again and maybe again and maybe again, before you know if you'll have a fwb. Sometimes it isn't right for one person or the other so it doesn't progress to a fwb situation so just accept it for what it was and move on. I met plenty of people, some multiple times before I met someone who it just worked with. " Exactly this. | |||
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"We’ve encountered a fwb couple, but the male is just using the female so he can meet other females/couples. That can be soul destroying. That's my single biggest hard limit, just the hint of someone expecting me to find or provide another woman and you're done. If you can't find it on your own then you're no use to me. Was really off putting when she explained the situation. I've been at fetish parties where men have sent a woman off round the room asking women to play with him. Im not going to judge anyone for doing anything but to me there is no class in that. Not even a trace. Lmao! That's like back in the school playground again with "My mate fancies you....." So many forum posts from couples giving single guys in clubs a hard time, when you know the hubby wouldn't have the bottle to visit one by himself.... " Much truth in this | |||
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"I don't think you can go into meeting someone with the plan that they will become a fwb, it's just something that happens with the right person. Meet once and if it's good meet again and maybe again and maybe again, before you know if you'll have a fwb. Sometimes it isn't right for one person or the other so it doesn't progress to a fwb situation so just accept it for what it was and move on. I met plenty of people, some multiple times before I met someone who it just worked with. Exactly this. " This thread has been so helpful. I think I need to start seeing it like this rather than having expectations, so I don’t end up feeling rejected! I’ve had one guy string me along though, say he wants to meet again but then never arrange it. I wish people were more up front! | |||
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"I don't think you can go into meeting someone with the plan that they will become a fwb, it's just something that happens with the right person. Meet once and if it's good meet again and maybe again and maybe again, before you know if you'll have a fwb. Sometimes it isn't right for one person or the other so it doesn't progress to a fwb situation so just accept it for what it was and move on. I met plenty of people, some multiple times before I met someone who it just worked with. Exactly this. This thread has been so helpful. I think I need to start seeing it like this rather than having expectations, so I don’t end up feeling rejected! I’ve had one guy string me along though, say he wants to meet again but then never arrange it. I wish people were more up front!" He probably didn't want to hurt your feelings, and most likely wanted to leave the door open for future meets. | |||
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"I've giving up looking for a fwb, I'm at that stage if it happens it happens" That’s exactly what I did then it happened! | |||
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"Man's version of FWB- random text at 2am "empty mi balls luv!" Woman's version of FWB- friends who talk like human beings, respect each other, friendship." To be fair we’re both the second option | |||
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"I'd say it's perfectly normal, and it would be strange for it to not go like that most of the time. The important part of fwb is the f. I don't know how it is for others, but I don't make friends quickly or easily. It takes time. Sometimes it doesn't work out. There's enough promise at the start to make it worth trying for a while, but if it isn't right it will fizzle out. Eventually you stumble on the right person, and they stick. And that's wonderful. I never go out looking for fwbs. But I have enough sense to welcome them into my life when they appear." I could have written this. High five. | |||
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"I’ve met a couple guys now who said they wanted regular meets but have drifted away after one or two. Should I be offended, or do some men just prefer novelty? Interested to hear other people’s experiences? X" If someone wants to see you, they'll see you. If they're saying they want to see you again but then go distant or start making all kinds of excuses not to, then take heed of that. Sometimes it's hard because people give out mixed messages. Go with your gut feeling. Be brave,be clear in what you want and keep looking until you find just that | |||
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"I’ve met a couple guys now who said they wanted regular meets but have drifted away after one or two. Should I be offended, or do some men just prefer novelty? Interested to hear other people’s experiences? X If someone wants to see you, they'll see you. If they're saying they want to see you again but then go distant or start making all kinds of excuses not to, then take heed of that. Sometimes it's hard because people give out mixed messages. Go with your gut feeling. Be brave,be clear in what you want and keep looking until you find just that " Wise words | |||
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"I don't think you can look at this in that way or say it's a male thing either. You meet someone expecting it to be a one-off giving your best self. If you like eachother you do it again, it's as simple as that. Affection will grow its natural but it is just that, doesn't have to mean anything more." This You can't go looking for it or you'll be forever disappointed. You have to just meet people you like and if with one of them it really works for you both then keep doing it. Given time it can develop into something more but much more often than not it won't. | |||
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