FabSwingers.com forum: Why do you get treated differently in public if you have disabled children

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Any thoughts ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

What happened to the last post?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Deleted I think

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We used to get this a lot with our son who has autism..adhd and tourettes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I presume you're not talking about how most people try to help anyone with a disability if they can.

If i see a family struggle with any problem and i think i can help i offer as not all disabilities are visable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

You shouldn’t. But there is no accounting for dick heads.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

Yes, it's gone - the description of events may have been a bit provocative.

Your their dad, you stood up for them, well done to you

If someone had said that about mine, I'd have been very tempted to do the same.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Don’t know OP. I’ve only experienced mean comments from teenagers regarding my youngest. Adults have been a bit more understanding.

I think some are just unsure how to treat people with disabilities, especially if it’s a hidden disability. And they just get it wrong.

It’s shitty and i’m sorry you’ve had it happen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

We were always quite pleased to be treated differently when bringing up our son.

Because in 99% of the cases, it was with extra thought, care and kindness.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m talking about the stares and the wide births people give you sometimes and being told to leave places it upsets my kids which upsets me I wish some people would just stop being so ignorant and learn that just because they have a disability there not different and still love hugs and kiss and just want to be accepted

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When one of my autistic kids was very young, going on holiday and got priority boarding before every one else.

I was walking to get on and some bloke said 'I wish I had a spastic so I could get on first'.

Took all my willpower not to cave his face in. I did politely inform him I would put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life if he said anything else. I don't think he expected a response.

It's not easy and I understand your frustrations.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m talking about the stares and the wide births people give you sometimes and being told to leave places it upsets my kids which upsets me I wish some people would just stop being so ignorant and learn that just because they have a disability there not different and still love hugs and kiss and just want to be accepted "

If only. Ignorance is the worst thing. I feel your pain x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When one of my autistic kids was very young, going on holiday and got priority boarding before every one else.

I was walking to get on and some bloke said 'I wish I had a spastic so I could get on first'.

Took all my willpower not to cave his face in. I did politely inform him I would put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life if he said anything else. I don't think he expected a response.

It's not easy and I understand your frustrations."

Bloody hell. I wouldn’t have that much willpower I honestly wouldn’t!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When one of my autistic kids was very young, going on holiday and got priority boarding before every one else.

I was walking to get on and some bloke said 'I wish I had a spastic so I could get on first'.

Took all my willpower not to cave his face in. I did politely inform him I would put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life if he said anything else. I don't think he expected a response.

It's not easy and I understand your frustrations."
I have 4 with autism 2 also have a heart condition one of which hasn’t learned to walk without a frame yet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I've learnt the subtle art of talking very quietly, smiling sweetly, staring people straight in the eye

While I tell them exactly what I think of them, and exactly what I'd like to do to them.

No one says a bad word against my kids.

They've gone through more than most adults could in a dozen lifetimes.

They don't deserve abuse, I won't tolerate it.

Only 1 person has ever answered me back after my little chat.

Big mistake, his 2nd was to shove me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because some people are ignorant, we’ve had parents pull their kids away from playing with ours when they learn they had epilepsy, because god forbid they might catch it. My eldest was shouted at to stop his noise, because a few weeks before he’d had major brain surgery and it was his only way of letting us know he was in pain or if he needed anything.

Over the years we’ve had some awful treatment by people, but also lots of kindness and compassion. Things are getting better at times. But you can’t do anything about the few ignorant people x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've learnt the subtle art of talking very quietly, smiling sweetly, staring people straight in the eye

While I tell them exactly what I think of them, and exactly what I'd like to do to them.

No one says a bad word against my kids.

They've gone through more than most adults could in a dozen lifetimes.

They don't deserve abuse, I won't tolerate it.

Only 1 person has ever answered me back after my little chat.

Big mistake, his 2nd was to shove me "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've learnt the subtle art of talking very quietly, smiling sweetly, staring people straight in the eye

While I tell them exactly what I think of them, and exactly what I'd like to do to them.

No one says a bad word against my kids.

They've gone through more than most adults could in a dozen lifetimes.

They don't deserve abuse, I won't tolerate it.

Only 1 person has ever answered me back after my little chat.

Big mistake, his 2nd was to shove me "

This is me now too. Took a while to get to this stage I must admit. I’d either flip out or burst out crying. Nobody know what it’s like unless they’re going through it. Nobody. I dont even think people are entitled to an opinion. x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve had one lady let me cross the road and stop traffic with her car whilst I crossed only to have a guy stop inches from my son because he was in a hurry the lady went nuts calling him all sorts and asking him if he was blind I grabbed my son up with his frame and crossed the rest of the way she apologised for the guy then said bye but continued to give this guy abuse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otfabcouple2017Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I think in some of these types of instances,it's just a case of people not having been previously exposed to people with disabilities. They simply don't know how to react, and (I'd be willing to bet the last thing they actually want to do is cause offence) they probably get shy and act awkward, which might not come accross well, as it gives the standoffish "wide birth" impression. So whilst they may appear a little rude, they probably don't mean to be at all.

Some however are just complete douches!

With regards to the comments some of the previous posters mentioned - absolutely disgusting!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best ones are the old people who berate you for parking in disabled spaces.

I had one a few years ago, I parked up. Got out and was confronted by a very irate man, probably in his 80s screaming at me saying I shouldn't be parked there and should move so he could have the space. Despite me having a blue badge for my child.

He called security, they then asked me to move, I didn't and then the police were called

This was despite the man shouting at me not looking at all disabled. Perfectly able looking, just like my child.

I just walk away these days.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"The best ones are the old people who berate you for parking in disabled spaces.

He called security, they then asked me to move, I didn't and then the police were called

This was despite the man shouting at me not looking at all disabled. Perfectly able looking, just like my child.

I just walk away these days."

Oh I love those ones!!

Parked in a disabled bay at the leisure centre, was the last space.

I got out, 2 steps from my car old boy pulls up & started shouting at me.

Telling me I can't park there, move my car.

I waved & carried on walking.

Came out 10mins later to find he'd parked across the back of me, blocked me in.

I turned to see him, walking out with a security guard.

His face when he realised I had my son, in his wheelchair with me.

Yes, an able bodied person is allowed to park in a marked bay, on a badge. IF they are there for the purpose of picking up owner of the badge.

I still chuckle at seeing how red the old boys face was, and the guard telling him to move his car or he'd be the one getting the ticket

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Because people don't know what to say or how to act.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

"Because people don't know what to say or how to act."
sounds daft but should people just not act as they would around let’s say someone who hasn’t got a disability

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Because people don't know what to say or how to act. sounds daft but should people just not act as they would around let’s say someone who hasn’t got a disability "

Yes they should but out of fear of saying something wrong or offending anyone some people just act awkward which is worse.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be offended by such people, sadly they are ignorant and know no better. Take the morale high ground, difficult as it is. The only way to deal with intolerance is by being tolerant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otfabcouple2017Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Because people don't know what to say or how to act. sounds daft but should people just not act as they would around let’s say someone who hasn’t got a disability "

If possible then yes of course.

It's no different having a conversation with someone just because they might be in a wheelchair for example. But not all disabilities can be treated in the same way

I worked a brain injury rehabilitation centre for a while, and some of our service users actions and behaviour were very alarming to anyone not used to them. From very loud unexpected shouting, very exaggerated physical displays of movements, becoming physically aggressive/violent - a whole range of unusual behaviour that can be very unnerving, and make it difficult to act as they would around someone without the disability. The world is a complicated place!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ojo1964Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Being disabled all my life and a single parent of a 17yr old son.

I still have comments on social media and on FAB from people from time to time saying that it disgusted at the thought of a disabled person having a relationship, let alone having sex.

But I say thats their problem, not mine also prove what thick t**ts they are....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread