FabSwingers.com forum: Self confidence

By *andKB OP Couple
over a year ago

Plymouth

Does anyone else find they lack self confidence?

I (K female half) have suffered with issues with my self confidence since my teens. Its fluctuates and sometimes I'm fine and mega confident. Then other times I'm really not and doubting myself.

Usually when playing I an very confident. We went to a social last night and I was frightened to approach people because of it. And I hate approaching people at clubs or parties because I feel so unsure of myself.

Genuinely not phishing for compliments. Just wondered if anyone has any advice.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Do you suffer from anxiety issues?

I had anxiety attacks after my relationship broke down and I was taught grounding techniques for when I could feel an attack coming on x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Learn to fake it.

The majority of people you think are confidence actually arent. They just fake it well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I assune this is the male half

In all seriousness most people have an issue over self confidence, for me its accepting you as the best you can be. If people don't like it, fine. There are plenty who do. Don't worry about the ones who don't, enjoy the ones that do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Learn to fake it.

The majority of people you think are confidence actually arent. They just fake it well.

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I m similar...around people I really know and know me I m confident but outside of that I m not confident in approaching people or presuming...it's a tough call eh? My confidence has strengthened in myself through dancing..in other words I ll dance whenever there's music and be confident enough not to care what others think and I must say it helps me because people will break the ice by making the first move

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Yes. I found out it was spectrum related after years and years of coming up with coping mechanisms. Glad I found out in the end why I felt like it.

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By *andKB OP Couple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"Do you suffer from anxiety issues?

I had anxiety attacks after my relationship broke down and I was taught grounding techniques for when I could feel an attack coming on x"

I do I had CBT once but they didnt really help. I have anxiety through bullying and such like. So probably why I have low self confidence

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By *andKB OP Couple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"I assune this is the male half

Nope definitely the female half.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

Lots of people are like swans, in that they outwardly appear calm and confident but under the surface they are paddling to various degrees of effort.

It takes practice to understand what you want to portray and not give a fuck what people think about that. Master that and you can move ahead with verve and a swagger that gets you noticed for being assured in your own skin.

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By *nkedMilfWoman
over a year ago

Colchester

"Learn to fake it.

The majority of people you think are confidence actually arent. They just fake it well.

This 100%

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By *andKB OP Couple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"Lots of people are like swans, in that they outwardly appear calm and confident but under the surface they are paddling to various degrees of effort.

The only way I've learned to appear confident is gin haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have absolutely no confidence at all. I hate the way I look and don’t understand why people don’t see what I see.

I’ve actually stopped talking to people before if they’re constantly paying me compliments because it makes me feel really unsettled and I don’t believe what they’re saying anyway.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

It depends where I am, what I'm doing, who I'm with.

At work, in one of my professional roles, I'm on top of the world, unstoppable.

With friends, I'm the loud one, life & soul of the party.

Take me out of my comfort zone, and I can be the mouse in the corner.

I have learnt to fake it, it's not easy.

I may look OK on the outside, but inside I'm shaking like a leaf.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Only when it comes to relationships and men i think. The side effect of having someone attempt to cheat. It’s left me with trust issues that i cannot seem to self regulate. Romantic relationships since leave me feeling very vulnerable and i don’t like that feeling.

I’m probably overly confident regarding everything else, unless it’s bluster? I don’t know.

Mentally i’m constantly swimming to keep my mood afloat, and that affects your confidence with life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me! (Jenny) at the moment I feel a completely different person to how I felt at the beginning year. I can't stand the thought of a meet or going to a club. I'm failing again at dieting, I don't believe any compliments I'm given. Last night I sat curled up on the sofa with a blanket and a gin watching The BFG! Seriously!?!

I don't have many confidence days at the mo, wonder what I'm still doing on here. I don't want to quit, I like how things use to be x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It comes and goes like a tidal wave super high to none existent and back again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm confident once I got my clothes off, mainly because I know they're not looking at my face. It's the social side I have no confidence in, constantly waiting for myself to say something ridiculous or offensive

M x

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Usually I'm very confident in myself. If people dont like me or my body then that's fine, you cant like everyone!

But last week especially I was totally battered. The effects of others actions really affected me badly. Thankfully I'm back on top, confidence is all your mind set.

I'm not gorgeous, other women have better bodies and I have faults but I accept myself as I am. Maybe eventually someone else will too

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I think remembering that others might also be lacking in confidence but appear very confident helps - someone's perception of another isn't always 100% accurate and remembering that we're all humans with our own worries and doubts helps make people approachable.

I go through phases. Sometimes I feel unstoppable and full of confidence, occasionally I really doubt and dislike how I am and my looks and I see it as proof that others will also so hermit the fuck away from people before I disappoint them. Those days are ever decreasing luckily.

Start doing things you love and being kind to yourself OP. Treat yourself like you would a very dear friend and be kind to you.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

It's very situational for me - put me in a room full of people I know and I can be the life and soul of the party - put me in a room full of people I don't know however and I'm the complete opposite.

I get very self-conscious when taken out of my comfort zone, even silly things like asking where something is in the supermarket I can find myself avoiding doing so and wandering round for ages looking for something, or find myself having to take a deep breath and braving it out.

If someone I don't know starts talking to me, in the street or on the train etc, I often struggle to know what to say to keep the conversation going, so unless the other person keeps things flowing it can come across as me being stand off-ish.

The only thing I would say is once I am talking to someone and have had a little time do get comfortable it doesn't take me long to find my comfort zone again.

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