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"For all you dad's out there, you ever feel like you have trouble bonding with your son?, I'm always last option with him it seems even when he's with people he hasn't seen in months, he can't wait to get away from me, whenever I'm holding him and he sees other people in the family straight away he's trying to get away from me, it's embarrassing and upsetting. he's only 3 but he never seems to want to play or be with me. I work all week but spend the afternoons and weekends with him, Any advice on how to bond with him more? I constantly try and interact with him to no avail and it's really getting me down recently. " You don't need to hold his fascination constantly for him to love you or for you to love him in return. My boys are their own things. Each reacts and responds differently. One talks to me when he's sad, the other to his mum. They both love us and we love them. I give them freedom to do a lot of what they want to do, but they get bored and run back to Dad for entertainment and ideas. Just let him be, tell him you love him, show him you love him, show him you're there if ever he needs/wants you. | |||
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"I think our own children always find other people more interesting than ourselves at time's,I know mine did and it hurt at the time. There's many people in our children's life who will influence them and appear more 'cool' but when he's older he will appreciate you trust me. Always be there for him whatever happens. Take him to the park when it's quiet then he'll just have you for attention and go on thing's with him,have fun together just you and him. Do a bit of baking/painting together." | |||
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"The problem is he's more interested than people than me too, he hasn't been in any stage of wanting me " Are you together with his mum? Do you get on ok with her? | |||
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"The problem is he's more interested than people than me too, he hasn't been in any stage of wanting me Are you together with his mum? Do you get on ok with her? " Good question and maybe mum isn't saying great thing's about you infront of him. | |||
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"For all you dad's out there, you ever feel like you have trouble bonding with your son?, I'm always last option with him it seems even when he's with people he hasn't seen in months, he can't wait to get away from me, whenever I'm holding him and he sees other people in the family straight away he's trying to get away from me, it's embarrassing and upsetting. he's only 3 but he never seems to want to play or be with me. I work all week but spend the afternoons and weekends with him, Any advice on how to bond with him more? I constantly try and interact with him to no avail and it's really getting me down recently. " Don't knock it mate, there will come a time when he's taking your car for a spin, nicking all your power tools and getting you to make a speech . . Enjoy what you have right now ! | |||
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"Excuse me for butting in .. I know you've addressed the dad's. But i know a little about this on a development level. It's natural for babies and toddlers to 'prefer'/need the mother seemingly more than the father. Humans are hard wired this way, especially if breastfed and/or have a close maternal bond. Developmentally, they are still strongly attached to seeing the world from the closeness of the maternal (or sometimes annoyingly, upsetting, grandma, grandad uncle etc). When children are ready, they begin to develop a stronger awareness of self, their individuality. Separate from experiencal, survival existence and a little more aware of their place and impact and actions. Around 5/6 years they naturally pull away from mother and bonds with fathers can start to feel stronger. Your constant love and presence is invaluable. Be patient. Lovely dad. It will all pay off. Dont try too hard, just join him in HIS world. Let him come to you, make sure he knows you're simply there and always be ready to play play play. xxx " Much much better version of what I was trying to say. This couldn't be more spot on. | |||
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"The problem is he's more interested than people than me too, he hasn't been in any stage of wanting me Are you together with his mum? Do you get on ok with her? " Yea and yea | |||
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"Goes ups and down, me and my dad never really saw eye too eye and after my mother passing it was just me, my brother and my dad so you can imagine the raging testosterone battles. Buy a few ‘rough’ years we are best pals so, just trying to say keep up the awesome job ! Go dads ! : ) " I’m sorry to hear you lost your mum when you are younger. I did too My Dad raised me and my sisters by himself - he’s my true hero. Dads are awesome | |||
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"For all you dad's out there, you ever feel like you have trouble bonding with your son?, I'm always last option with him it seems even when he's with people he hasn't seen in months, he can't wait to get away from me, whenever I'm holding him and he sees other people in the family straight away he's trying to get away from me, it's embarrassing and upsetting. he's only 3 but he never seems to want to play or be with me. I work all week but spend the afternoons and weekends with him, Any advice on how to bond with him more? I constantly try and interact with him to no avail and it's really getting me down recently. " If he's 3 he won't know his actions upset you he's doing what he likes, just spend time with him and stop making it about you! Just be there when you can and be positive. | |||
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"For all you dad's out there, you ever feel like you have trouble bonding with your son?, I'm always last option with him it seems even when he's with people he hasn't seen in months, he can't wait to get away from me, whenever I'm holding him and he sees other people in the family straight away he's trying to get away from me, it's embarrassing and upsetting. he's only 3 but he never seems to want to play or be with me. I work all week but spend the afternoons and weekends with him, Any advice on how to bond with him more? I constantly try and interact with him to no avail and it's really getting me down recently. If he's 3 he won't know his actions upset you he's doing what he likes, just spend time with him and stop making it about you! Just be there when you can and be positive. " Obviously I know that. I don't stop him doing what he wants or try get involved when hes doing his own thing. I just hate it when he sees other people and can't wait to get away from me nothing to do with it being about me- hope that cleared it up for you | |||
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"Silly question but do you smoke? My son would flip and panic near his grandad until he stopped smoking...then it all changed overnight! Also, I agree that kids often prefer the maternal side of things until they’re around 7. Is there anything special you can do with him, just you two? I’m thinking of just drawing side by side, or playing a game on the floor, or lawnmowing...my son had a toy mower and would follow my ex around the garden every time. Just no pressure companionship. Is your parenting style very different from other family members? If they’re rigid and you’re touchy feely, or they’re laid back and you’re an action kind of guy, he might just find it out of his comfort zone. Also, is there any tension between you and family members? He could easily be picking up on that when you’re around. Just done thoughts. But also agree with others that bonding does ebb and flow...just take your lead from him. Good luck..." No I don't smoke but there is definitely tension between me and her family. I find her family are more hands on than me tbh over the top attention wise so maybe that's it maybe he likes that lol. | |||
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"Three year olds are curious by nature and want to be involved in everything and everyone. If you're alone, I'm guessing he'll happily cuddle you. Oh, and tell him that you love him, men should never be afraid to express their feelings. " Of course I tell him constantly | |||
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"For all you dad's out there, you ever feel like you have trouble bonding with your son?, I'm always last option with him it seems even when he's with people he hasn't seen in months, he can't wait to get away from me, whenever I'm holding him and he sees other people in the family straight away he's trying to get away from me, it's embarrassing and upsetting. he's only 3 but he never seems to want to play or be with me. I work all week but spend the afternoons and weekends with him, Any advice on how to bond with him more? I constantly try and interact with him to no avail and it's really getting me down recently. " It's so hard and I know how you feel, you're not doing anything wrong it's a phase and I'm sure he will appreciate you as he gets older. If you never spent time with him or took him places then he would miss that so think of that. | |||
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"Let him be. Celebrate the fact that he's mixing and happy. Parents are a constant in a kids life (hopefully) and will always appear to be bottom of their list of priorities. When the chips are down he'll turn to you, you know then that you've done a good job." | |||
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"For all you dad's out there, you ever feel like you have trouble bonding with your son?, I'm always last option with him it seems even when he's with people he hasn't seen in months, he can't wait to get away from me, whenever I'm holding him and he sees other people in the family straight away he's trying to get away from me, it's embarrassing and upsetting. he's only 3 but he never seems to want to play or be with me. I work all week but spend the afternoons and weekends with him, Any advice on how to bond with him more? I constantly try and interact with him to no avail and it's really getting me down recently. It's so hard and I know how you feel, you're not doing anything wrong it's a phase and I'm sure he will appreciate you as he gets older. If you never spent time with him or took him places then he would miss that so think of that. " Yeah that is true mate | |||
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"As valuable as it is this thread really is in the wrong place. Just an observation ??" It's not been banned from what I can see....? I thought it was a beautiful, thoughtful discussion.... | |||
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"As valuable as it is this thread really is in the wrong place. Just an observation ??" Where should it be? | |||
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