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BDSM at what point does it become an excuse

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So anyone who is aware of the BDSM roles and also different ways in which it's played will know that, their are times when people think they are Doms because they talk angry and the demand things but that doesn't make them a Dom.

Calling your self a Little isn't something you can say in order to continue with being an immature brat with out the correct way that a Daddy Dom enforces.

Knife play.... Is not an excuse to keep cutting your body and hide that it's self harm..

I think that the vanilla world that hides under the umbrella of BDSM is really mudbluding the strength of what it is to follow your kink

Just because your a master or a sub or slave doesn't mean that everything is sexual. It's about the trust and the strength between people.

(this turned into a rant oh well)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So anyone who is aware of the BDSM roles and also different ways in which it's played will know that, their are times when people think they are Doms because they talk angry and the demand things but that doesn't make them a Dom.

Calling your self a Little isn't something you can say in order to continue with being an immature brat with out the correct way that a Daddy Dom enforces.

Knife play.... Is not an excuse to keep cutting your body and hide that it's self harm..

I think that the vanilla world that hides under the umbrella of BDSM is really mudbluding the strength of what it is to follow your kink

Just because your a master or a sub or slave doesn't mean that everything is sexual. It's about the trust and the strength between people.

(this turned into a rant oh well) "

Whats mudbluding?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Errrm ok, I’m slightly masochistic and I’ve also suffered mental health and occasionally self harm. Am I not allowed to enjoy kink?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s a guy who used to argue that if you’re a Dom you are an abuser, and if you’re a sub, you are getting abused.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Erm, I'm not really sure I understand the question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Errrm ok, I’m slightly masochistic and I’ve also suffered mental health and occasionally self harm. Am I not allowed to enjoy kink?"

I also love electro play and impact play and lean very much so at sub, would you say Im wrong in enjoying this as I occasionally suffer with my mental health?

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

I'm kinda confused but a little doesn't need a daddy / care giver in order to be a little. And I think you kinda implied otherwise.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 12/11/19 16:55:31]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There’s a guy who used to argue that if you’re a Dom you are an abuser, and if you’re a sub, you are getting abused. "

Oh god no!!!

If you live the life and enjoy that then that's not the problem

What I'm sayigg is people that have aggressive personalitys and think that being forceful is dom isn't right

As for cutting I was saying that using the kink knife play as an excuse to cut for the same feeling as self harming also makes me question where the line is

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"

I think that the vanilla world that hides under the umbrella of BDSM is really mudbluding the strength of what it is to follow your kink

Whats mudbluding?"

At first I thought it was a Harry Potter reference, to wizards who had Muggle parents, and was a 'racist' insult.

But I re-read the post and think it may just be dodgy typing. "Muddling"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s a guy who used to argue that if you’re a Dom you are an abuser, and if you’re a sub, you are getting abused.

Oh god no!!!

If you live the life and enjoy that then that's not the problem

What I'm sayigg is people that have aggressive personalitys and think that being forceful is dom isn't right

As for cutting I was saying that using the kink knife play as an excuse to cut for the same feeling as self harming also makes me question where the line is "

Sorry but when I self harm I’m having no sexual linkage what so ever so your wrong.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"There’s a guy who used to argue that if you’re a Dom you are an abuser, and if you’re a sub, you are getting abused.

Oh god no!!!

If you live the life and enjoy that then that's not the problem

What I'm sayigg is people that have aggressive personalitys and think that being forceful is dom isn't right

As for cutting I was saying that using the kink knife play as an excuse to cut for the same feeling as self harming also makes me question where the line is "

The line is informed consent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s a guy who used to argue that if you’re a Dom you are an abuser, and if you’re a sub, you are getting abused.

Oh god no!!!

If you live the life and enjoy that then that's not the problem

What I'm sayigg is people that have aggressive personalitys and think that being forceful is dom isn't right

As for cutting I was saying that using the kink knife play as an excuse to cut for the same feeling as self harming also makes me question where the line is "

I think I get you. Like the ‘Doms’ who watched 50 shades and think they know it all?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s a guy who used to argue that if you’re a Dom you are an abuser, and if you’re a sub, you are getting abused.

Oh god no!!!

If you live the life and enjoy that then that's not the problem

What I'm sayigg is people that have aggressive personalitys and think that being forceful is dom isn't right

As for cutting I was saying that using the kink knife play as an excuse to cut for the same feeling as self harming also makes me question where the line is

I think I get you. Like the ‘Doms’ who watched 50 shades and think they know it all?"

I just don’t understand what he means about self harm and edge play. I enjoy this element of bdsm but not because I self harm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been active in spanking and bdsm for eleven years, my bf is also my dom of six and a half years. The scene is similar to the swinging scene in that there are functional and dysfunctional people. There are people who genuinely want to explore their fetish and there are men who just want their cock sucked without having to beg or pay or women who want to abdicate any emotional responsibility. I've mostly withdrawn from it and stopped crewing at parties largely because of this. But during my time I've met hundreds of bdsm players and professionals who abhor any kind of abuse and been part of a community where we maintained standards of safety. It literally changed my life and it'll always be part of me and us and who we are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s a guy who used to argue that if you’re a Dom you are an abuser, and if you’re a sub, you are getting abused.

Oh god no!!!

If you live the life and enjoy that then that's not the problem

What I'm sayigg is people that have aggressive personalitys and think that being forceful is dom isn't right

As for cutting I was saying that using the kink knife play as an excuse to cut for the same feeling as self harming also makes me question where the line is

I think I get you. Like the ‘Doms’ who watched 50 shades and think they know it all?

I just don’t understand what he means about self harm and edge play. I enjoy this element of bdsm but not because I self harm. "

I think he means people might say they like it sexually, when in reality they don’t, they just do it as a form of self harm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s a guy who used to argue that if you’re a Dom you are an abuser, and if you’re a sub, you are getting abused.

Oh god no!!!

If you live the life and enjoy that then that's not the problem

What I'm sayigg is people that have aggressive personalitys and think that being forceful is dom isn't right

As for cutting I was saying that using the kink knife play as an excuse to cut for the same feeling as self harming also makes me question where the line is

I think I get you. Like the ‘Doms’ who watched 50 shades and think they know it all?

I just don’t understand what he means about self harm and edge play. I enjoy this element of bdsm but not because I self harm.

I think he means people might say they like it sexually, when in reality they don’t, they just do it as a form of self harm "

I don’t agree personally, self harm is usually not pre mediated and usually triggers are involved,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s a guy who used to argue that if you’re a Dom you are an abuser, and if you’re a sub, you are getting abused.

Oh god no!!!

If you live the life and enjoy that then that's not the problem

What I'm sayigg is people that have aggressive personalitys and think that being forceful is dom isn't right

As for cutting I was saying that using the kink knife play as an excuse to cut for the same feeling as self harming also makes me question where the line is

I think I get you. Like the ‘Doms’ who watched 50 shades and think they know it all?

I just don’t understand what he means about self harm and edge play. I enjoy this element of bdsm but not because I self harm.

I think he means people might say they like it sexually, when in reality they don’t, they just do it as a form of self harm

I don’t agree personally, self harm is usually not pre mediated and usually triggers are involved, "

I’m not saying it’s a universal thing, but I have heard of it..

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"So anyone who is aware of the BDSM roles and also different ways in which it's played will know that, their are times when people think they are Doms because they talk angry and the demand things but that doesn't make them a Dom.

Calling your self a Little isn't something you can say in order to continue with being an immature brat with out the correct way that a Daddy Dom enforces.

Knife play.... Is not an excuse to keep cutting your body and hide that it's self harm..

I think that the vanilla world that hides under the umbrella of BDSM is really mudbluding the strength of what it is to follow your kink

Just because your a master or a sub or slave doesn't mean that everything is sexual. It's about the trust and the strength between people.

(this turned into a rant oh well) "

BDSM roles are a tricky area.

There are no perfect definitions, just relationships.

The problem is that both the main stream media and porn can't cope with subtlety.

So being angry and selfish is portrayed as being a Dom/me.

And then people watch '50 shades...' or porn hub and think this is how it should be.

Every relationship needs to find their own dynamic.

A good example is doors.

I've read of one Dom , who insists that his sub opens any doors they go through for them, when they are together, thereby serving the Dom.

Another Dom exerts control by not letting the sub open any doors, so the sub can only go where the Dom permits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like Fab is a different kind of site to the different kinds of people who use it.

BDSM is different to those who do it.

It's not really for you to say what is and isn't dominant/submissive behaviour.. to anyone other than yourself. We all have different views on it, so what may be Dom to you, may be psychological manipulation by my standards. Or vice versa.

What's very important is that both people are consenting at ALL times. What's advised is that they look into their kinks, fetishes and inner self to explore WHY they have those particular turn ons. You can't force people to do this, some cant be arsed, don't care, happy plodding, or petrified of the skeletons in their psy-closet.

Whether they are doing what they're doing because of mental health reasons.. isn't really your call to make, unless you're qualified and experienced enough in psychology, specifically in sexual relationships.

You can judge all you like, but doing so openly in the forum won't win you many friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like Fab is a different kind of site to the different kinds of people who use it.

BDSM is different to those who do it.

It's not really for you to say what is and isn't dominant/submissive behaviour.. to anyone other than yourself. We all have different views on it, so what may be Dom to you, may be psychological manipulation by my standards. Or vice versa.

What's very important is that both people are consenting at ALL times. What's advised is that they look into their kinks, fetishes and inner self to explore WHY they have those particular turn ons. You can't force people to do this, some cant be arsed, don't care, happy plodding, or petrified of the skeletons in their psy-closet.

Whether they are doing what they're doing because of mental health reasons.. isn't really your call to make, unless you're qualified and experienced enough in psychology, specifically in sexual relationships.

You can judge all you like, but doing so openly in the forum won't win you many friends. "

Well said

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think there's a fine line between "some people do (kink) for bad reasons" and kink shaming. I think it's up to people to police themselves, take care of themselves, treat people well, and not kink shame.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East


"It's about the trust and the strength between people.

"

Yes, the greater the trust, the more submissive I become.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like Fab is a different kind of site to the different kinds of people who use it.

BDSM is different to those who do it.

It's not really for you to say what is and isn't dominant/submissive behaviour.. to anyone other than yourself. We all have different views on it, so what may be Dom to you, may be psychological manipulation by my standards. Or vice versa.

What's very important is that both people are consenting at ALL times. What's advised is that they look into their kinks, fetishes and inner self to explore WHY they have those particular turn ons. You can't force people to do this, some cant be arsed, don't care, happy plodding, or petrified of the skeletons in their psy-closet.

Whether they are doing what they're doing because of mental health reasons.. isn't really your call to make, unless you're qualified and experienced enough in psychology, specifically in sexual relationships.

You can judge all you like, but doing so openly in the forum won't win you many friends. "

Couldn't have put it better myself

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Like Fab is a different kind of site to the different kinds of people who use it.

BDSM is different to those who do it.

It's not really for you to say what is and isn't dominant/submissive behaviour.. to anyone other than yourself. We all have different views on it, so what may be Dom to you, may be psychological manipulation by my standards. Or vice versa.

What's very important is that both people are consenting at ALL times. What's advised is that they look into their kinks, fetishes and inner self to explore WHY they have those particular turn ons. You can't force people to do this, some cant be arsed, don't care, happy plodding, or petrified of the skeletons in their psy-closet.

Whether they are doing what they're doing because of mental health reasons.. isn't really your call to make, unless you're qualified and experienced enough in psychology, specifically in sexual relationships.

You can judge all you like, but doing so openly in the forum won't win you many friends. "

Absolutely all of this. If I meet people who don't do BDSM anywhere near the way I do, I simply don't play with them. It would likely be an unsatisfying experience for all involved. That's why I believe good communication prior is essential so you know if you are on the same page. However, every experience with a different person has been different as it is a meeting of different styles and experiences. Different people have brought out different aspects of submission or Domination in me as a result. It all adds to it for me. I feel I learn more about myself each time.

However, I do have some kinks that no amount of soul searching has brought up a reason for why I enjoy them. It's always good to think about but sometimes you don't find an answer and I don't really worry to much about it as long as I'm exploring it safely and sanely .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Like Fab is a different kind of site to the different kinds of people who use it.

BDSM is different to those who do it.

It's not really for you to say what is and isn't dominant/submissive behaviour.. to anyone other than yourself. We all have different views on it, so what may be Dom to you, may be psychological manipulation by my standards. Or vice versa.

What's very important is that both people are consenting at ALL times. What's advised is that they look into their kinks, fetishes and inner self to explore WHY they have those particular turn ons. You can't force people to do this, some cant be arsed, don't care, happy plodding, or petrified of the skeletons in their psy-closet.

Whether they are doing what they're doing because of mental health reasons.. isn't really your call to make, unless you're qualified and experienced enough in psychology, specifically in sexual relationships.

You can judge all you like, but doing so openly in the forum won't win you many friends. "
.

Thank you for your comment.

I am not judging anyone in any way and belive that everyone should be entitled to live their life as they want.

Alot of people are very right in what I'm sayigg in regards to the dom an 50 shades of gray.

I wanted to cause a discussion in regards to Bdsm and wanted to see how people felt about how things were being diluted by people claiming to be dominant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No offence but I don't understand the question in as much as it's asked in a generalized manner. BDSM is far more specific and individual. What is right for one can be wrong for another yet neither are right or wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like Fab is a different kind of site to the different kinds of people who use it.

BDSM is different to those who do it.

It's not really for you to say what is and isn't dominant/submissive behaviour.. to anyone other than yourself. We all have different views on it, so what may be Dom to you, may be psychological manipulation by my standards. Or vice versa.

What's very important is that both people are consenting at ALL times. What's advised is that they look into their kinks, fetishes and inner self to explore WHY they have those particular turn ons. You can't force people to do this, some cant be arsed, don't care, happy plodding, or petrified of the skeletons in their psy-closet.

Whether they are doing what they're doing because of mental health reasons.. isn't really your call to make, unless you're qualified and experienced enough in psychology, specifically in sexual relationships.

You can judge all you like, but doing so openly in the forum won't win you many friends. .

Thank you for your comment.

I am not judging anyone in any way and belive that everyone should be entitled to live their life as they want.

Alot of people are very right in what I'm sayigg in regards to the dom an 50 shades of gray.

I wanted to cause a discussion in regards to Bdsm and wanted to see how people felt about how things were being diluted by people claiming to be dominant. "

50 shades is still D/s BDSM though, you may not see it that way, but it's one of many very popular mainstream views of what it is. That very idea brings new people here and more boundaries explored. I think you've already caused that discussion though, I'm replying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like Fab is a different kind of site to the different kinds of people who use it.

BDSM is different to those who do it.

It's not really for you to say what is and isn't dominant/submissive behaviour.. to anyone other than yourself. We all have different views on it, so what may be Dom to you, may be psychological manipulation by my standards. Or vice versa.

What's very important is that both people are consenting at ALL times. What's advised is that they look into their kinks, fetishes and inner self to explore WHY they have those particular turn ons. You can't force people to do this, some cant be arsed, don't care, happy plodding, or petrified of the skeletons in their psy-closet.

Whether they are doing what they're doing because of mental health reasons.. isn't really your call to make, unless you're qualified and experienced enough in psychology, specifically in sexual relationships.

You can judge all you like, but doing so openly in the forum won't win you many friends. "

Love this!!! Well put!

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal"

Personally not a fan of 50 shades as I think their relationship is verging on abusive and cohersive. Nothing to do with the BDSM activity, more the tracking her without her knowledge or consent, trying to prevent her from seeing her family and then following her when she does, the glorification of his jealousy and possesiveness, buying a company just because she gets a job there, etc. But then portrayal of things in films is rarely accurate or ideal and it would hardly be the first film to glorify jealousy and possessive behaviour as displays of love. I also think most sensible people are capable of viewing it for entertainment and titillation alone without viewing it as any sort of bible of how BDSM or D/s (or relationships at all for that matter) should be done.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

For me it’s an illusion. For a Dom to take control the sub has to give control, which by the very act is being in control, the safe word gives another element of control, so the d/s is a fantasy played out under the illusion of being controlled (or controlling).

The pleasurable aspect is the boundaries which have been defined and pushing those boundaries in a measured and pleasurable way to open facets of desire and persona that are difficult to articulate by the one being controlled, taking them to places dreamed but not dared.

That’s how I think of it, creating the freedom to go beyond that which we have limited ourselves too. I guess a good Dom (male or female) knows this and knows their partner well enough to tread that fine line and control their own urges or boundaries.

How one wants to be controlled is as individual as the person seeking it, therefore what may seem like abuse to one, maybe a soft boundary for another, it is impossible to make a generic statement about personal preference other than “we all have them”.

Right that’s enough typing. Who’s sitting on my face next?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal

Personally not a fan of 50 shades as I think their relationship is verging on abusive and cohersive. Nothing to do with the BDSM activity, more the tracking her without her knowledge or consent, trying to prevent her from seeing her family and then following her when she does, the glorification of his jealousy and possesiveness, buying a company just because she gets a job there, etc. But then portrayal of things in films is rarely accurate or ideal and it would hardly be the first film to glorify jealousy and possessive behaviour as displays of love. I also think most sensible people are capable of viewing it for entertainment and titillation alone without viewing it as any sort of bible of how BDSM or D/s (or relationships at all for that matter) should be done. "

Totally agree with you with that relationship verging on abusive. However, I was guilty of not understanding the consequences of impact play. First time I sub spaced we thought we'd broken me. Luckily my other half is sensible and noticed the changes in me. Just worry sometimes that the sub part of the D/s relationships aren't realistically portrayed without having to dig for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dom drop. I subject that is very seldom spoken about. It is different from sub drop but is equally powerful. It's often forgotten what it takes to be Dominant.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal

Personally not a fan of 50 shades as I think their relationship is verging on abusive and cohersive. Nothing to do with the BDSM activity, more the tracking her without her knowledge or consent, trying to prevent her from seeing her family and then following her when she does, the glorification of his jealousy and possesiveness, buying a company just because she gets a job there, etc. But then portrayal of things in films is rarely accurate or ideal and it would hardly be the first film to glorify jealousy and possessive behaviour as displays of love. I also think most sensible people are capable of viewing it for entertainment and titillation alone without viewing it as any sort of bible of how BDSM or D/s (or relationships at all for that matter) should be done.

Totally agree with you with that relationship verging on abusive. However, I was guilty of not understanding the consequences of impact play. First time I sub spaced we thought we'd broken me. Luckily my other half is sensible and noticed the changes in me. Just worry sometimes that the sub part of the D/s relationships aren't realistically portrayed without having to dig for it."

Better representation would be a good thing. Though it rarely happens in fiction as it's not as entertaining. I'll always be an advocate for getting to know other experienced people. The best resource is those who have been there, made the mistakes before and got the leather waistcoat to prove it (kidding about that last part ).

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Dom drop. I subject that is very seldom spoken about. It is different from sub drop but is equally powerful. It's often forgotten what it takes to be Dominant. "

Very true!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal

Personally not a fan of 50 shades as I think their relationship is verging on abusive and cohersive. Nothing to do with the BDSM activity, more the tracking her without her knowledge or consent, trying to prevent her from seeing her family and then following her when she does, the glorification of his jealousy and possesiveness, buying a company just because she gets a job there, etc. But then portrayal of things in films is rarely accurate or ideal and it would hardly be the first film to glorify jealousy and possessive behaviour as displays of love. I also think most sensible people are capable of viewing it for entertainment and titillation alone without viewing it as any sort of bible of how BDSM or D/s (or relationships at all for that matter) should be done.

Totally agree with you with that relationship verging on abusive. However, I was guilty of not understanding the consequences of impact play. First time I sub spaced we thought we'd broken me. Luckily my other half is sensible and noticed the changes in me. Just worry sometimes that the sub part of the D/s relationships aren't realistically portrayed without having to dig for it."

Sub space is when I’m in an enlightened place mentally, sub drop is my mental being feeling fragile, cold , emotional, aches yjrough impact play. Subspace is an enlightening feeling for me

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal

Personally not a fan of 50 shades as I think their relationship is verging on abusive and cohersive. Nothing to do with the BDSM activity, more the tracking her without her knowledge or consent, trying to prevent her from seeing her family and then following her when she does, the glorification of his jealousy and possesiveness, buying a company just because she gets a job there, etc. But then portrayal of things in films is rarely accurate or ideal and it would hardly be the first film to glorify jealousy and possessive behaviour as displays of love. I also think most sensible people are capable of viewing it for entertainment and titillation alone without viewing it as any sort of bible of how BDSM or D/s (or relationships at all for that matter) should be done. "

Very sensible post

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Dom drop. I subject that is very seldom spoken about. It is different from sub drop but is equally powerful. It's often forgotten what it takes to be Dominant. "

Very true, it takes a lot to Dom someone. I become mute and unable to speak, this puts an awful lot of responsibility on M. Guess fiction and porn are never going to truly represent the D/s dynamic

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By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes

[Removed by poster at 12/11/19 20:17:23]

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal

Personally not a fan of 50 shades as I think their relationship is verging on abusive and cohersive. Nothing to do with the BDSM activity, more the tracking her without her knowledge or consent, trying to prevent her from seeing her family and then following her when she does, the glorification of his jealousy and possesiveness, buying a company just because she gets a job there, etc. But then portrayal of things in films is rarely accurate or ideal and it would hardly be the first film to glorify jealousy and possessive behaviour as displays of love. I also think most sensible people are capable of viewing it for entertainment and titillation alone without viewing it as any sort of bible of how BDSM or D/s (or relationships at all for that matter) should be done.

Totally agree with you with that relationship verging on abusive. However, I was guilty of not understanding the consequences of impact play. First time I sub spaced we thought we'd broken me. Luckily my other half is sensible and noticed the changes in me. Just worry sometimes that the sub part of the D/s relationships aren't realistically portrayed without having to dig for it.

Sub space is when I’m in an enlightened place mentally, sub drop is my mental being feeling fragile, cold , emotional, aches yjrough impact play. Subspace is an enlightening feeling for me "

It is euphoric for me also, however I loose all sense of pain, which in the wrong hands could be dangerous. Sub drop with experience I've learnt to manage from when we first started impact play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal

Personally not a fan of 50 shades as I think their relationship is verging on abusive and cohersive. Nothing to do with the BDSM activity, more the tracking her without her knowledge or consent, trying to prevent her from seeing her family and then following her when she does, the glorification of his jealousy and possesiveness, buying a company just because she gets a job there, etc. But then portrayal of things in films is rarely accurate or ideal and it would hardly be the first film to glorify jealousy and possessive behaviour as displays of love. I also think most sensible people are capable of viewing it for entertainment and titillation alone without viewing it as any sort of bible of how BDSM or D/s (or relationships at all for that matter) should be done.

Totally agree with you with that relationship verging on abusive. However, I was guilty of not understanding the consequences of impact play. First time I sub spaced we thought we'd broken me. Luckily my other half is sensible and noticed the changes in me. Just worry sometimes that the sub part of the D/s relationships aren't realistically portrayed without having to dig for it.

Sub space is when I’m in an enlightened place mentally, sub drop is my mental being feeling fragile, cold , emotional, aches yjrough impact play. Subspace is an enlightening feeling for me

It is euphoric for me also, however I loose all sense of pain, which in the wrong hands could be dangerous. Sub drop with experience I've learnt to manage from when we first started impact play "

Yes I can relate also to the pain aspect when in subspace

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal

Personally not a fan of 50 shades as I think their relationship is verging on abusive and cohersive. Nothing to do with the BDSM activity, more the tracking her without her knowledge or consent, trying to prevent her from seeing her family and then following her when she does, the glorification of his jealousy and possesiveness, buying a company just because she gets a job there, etc. But then portrayal of things in films is rarely accurate or ideal and it would hardly be the first film to glorify jealousy and possessive behaviour as displays of love. I also think most sensible people are capable of viewing it for entertainment and titillation alone without viewing it as any sort of bible of how BDSM or D/s (or relationships at all for that matter) should be done.

Totally agree with you with that relationship verging on abusive. However, I was guilty of not understanding the consequences of impact play. First time I sub spaced we thought we'd broken me. Luckily my other half is sensible and noticed the changes in me. Just worry sometimes that the sub part of the D/s relationships aren't realistically portrayed without having to dig for it.

Sub space is when I’m in an enlightened place mentally, sub drop is my mental being feeling fragile, cold , emotional, aches yjrough impact play. Subspace is an enlightening feeling for me "

Subspace can definitely be blissful but I can understand it being scary if you don't know what's happening. I've become incapable of conversation beyond basic words. My brain knows what I want to say but it won't come out. If you're not aware that could happen I can see how it could freak you out.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal

Personally not a fan of 50 shades as I think their relationship is verging on abusive and cohersive. Nothing to do with the BDSM activity, more the tracking her without her knowledge or consent, trying to prevent her from seeing her family and then following her when she does, the glorification of his jealousy and possesiveness, buying a company just because she gets a job there, etc. But then portrayal of things in films is rarely accurate or ideal and it would hardly be the first film to glorify jealousy and possessive behaviour as displays of love. I also think most sensible people are capable of viewing it for entertainment and titillation alone without viewing it as any sort of bible of how BDSM or D/s (or relationships at all for that matter) should be done.

Very sensible post "

My Moriarty making a serious post!? *falls off chair*

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal

Personally not a fan of 50 shades as I think their relationship is verging on abusive and cohersive. Nothing to do with the BDSM activity, more the tracking her without her knowledge or consent, trying to prevent her from seeing her family and then following her when she does, the glorification of his jealousy and possesiveness, buying a company just because she gets a job there, etc. But then portrayal of things in films is rarely accurate or ideal and it would hardly be the first film to glorify jealousy and possessive behaviour as displays of love. I also think most sensible people are capable of viewing it for entertainment and titillation alone without viewing it as any sort of bible of how BDSM or D/s (or relationships at all for that matter) should be done.

Very sensible post

My Moriarty making a serious post!? *falls off chair*"

Your Moriarty!? I think I'm being Dommed

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Think many people's concern with 50 shades is that it doesn't portray the realities like sub drop or after care. Things that a lot who practice D/s find important in its portrayal

Personally not a fan of 50 shades as I think their relationship is verging on abusive and cohersive. Nothing to do with the BDSM activity, more the tracking her without her knowledge or consent, trying to prevent her from seeing her family and then following her when she does, the glorification of his jealousy and possesiveness, buying a company just because she gets a job there, etc. But then portrayal of things in films is rarely accurate or ideal and it would hardly be the first film to glorify jealousy and possessive behaviour as displays of love. I also think most sensible people are capable of viewing it for entertainment and titillation alone without viewing it as any sort of bible of how BDSM or D/s (or relationships at all for that matter) should be done.

Very sensible post

My Moriarty making a serious post!? *falls off chair*

Your Moriarty!? I think I'm being Dommed "

Hahaha! Mr! Typo!

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