FabSwingers.com forum: Negativity

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There’s a lot of negativity on here lately . What is it with people jumping on the bandwagon over peoples posts and straight up bullying them. This site can be mental sometimes ! Some people need to think before they type !.

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By *rittaMan
over a year ago

Watford

People seem to like to bully on here some real nasty sorts sadly.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

It happens from time to time.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

It's good that people can see someone's character though.

Imagine if a woman was thinking of giving a newbie a chance and was just about to contact him when he posts a shitty message about not getting any meets and starts arguing with everyone.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It's good that people can see someone's character though.

Imagine if a woman was thinking of giving a newbie a chance and was just about to contact him when he posts a shitty message about not getting any meets and starts arguing with everyone."

Definitely.

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By *tsonlysexCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Some people are just negative. We had someone who demanded a meet.

Yeah that’s going to make us want to meet

Ended up ruining our evening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually found a bit of negativity within two post on the forums. Luckily it wasn’t as nasty as some of the more recent stuff but still not good.

I hope it stops because let’s be honest, it’s the 12th November and Santa is watching.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think it's any worse than it has been over the years!

I just avoid it. Dont feed the trolls!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose some of my recent replies complaining about the volume of vile emails my wife gets could be viewed as negative.

What sort of negativity did the OP have in mind?

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By *DreamOfGenieWoman
over a year ago

London

I avoid, don't antagonise the haters, and use it as an exercise for the 'block' button

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

You got to turn that negativity upside down. And look at things differently. Some of the stuff on here is just hilarious and I personally feel that it’s my duty to say so and create an atmosphere of love

If On the other hand some of the negative comments or down right rude comment are offensive then it’s only going to end in tears as some of the more how shall I say non conformists will rip these folk a new ass hole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems to be the month for it all I have received my fair share of nasty comments messages etc over the last few days from adults it’s shocking feels like old day school day abuse no need for it at all

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By *ensualhands4uMan
over a year ago

harrogate

Yes demonstrated by my post about blocking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I avoid, don't antagonise the haters, and use it as an exercise for the 'block' button

Yup, this x

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"You got to turn that negativity upside down. And look at things differently. Some of the stuff on here is just hilarious and I personally feel that it’s my duty to say so and create an atmosphere of love

Love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’re all human. Up and down. Round and round. Some negativity is normal so I always call the poster out on their comment to give them a chance to reconsider before I go pitbull on them.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I think that negativity is one thing and bullying is another. I have read comments that are borderline if not bullying and that is aweful.. I know I should but I don't block them because I feel then that I have given in to the bullies..

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Threads like this always make me wonder what ive missed! Lol, have you guys tried spending less time on here?

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"We’re all human. Up and down. Round and round. Some negativity is normal so I always call the poster out on their comment to give them a chance to reconsider before I go pitbull on them.

I totally disagree and think your comments are outrageously biased so much so I feel that upset that I may have to go eat some sugary snacks

I await the pit bull by the way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bullying is only possible when someone has power over another person. For instance a boss who could lose you your job. Disagreeing with someone is not bullying. Insulting someone is not bullying. Telling someone they're talking shit is not bullying. It's not pleasant but it's not bullying. Saying it is is very insulting and dismissive of genuine victims of bullying. If you can protect yourself from it then you are not being bullied.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Threads like this always make me wonder what ive missed! Lol, have you guys tried spending less time on here?"

Same here, sometimes FOMO is really JOMO (Joy of missing out)

Glad I missed it really, whatever it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn't care less. Focus on positive threads

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

There unfortunately will always be negativity here. People can’t seem to conduct themselves with the basic manners that they would use if face to face with someone. Then there are those that just like to antagonise and stir the pot as they think it’s funny

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"Threads like this always make me wonder what ive missed! Lol, have you guys tried spending less time on here?

Same here, sometimes FOMO is really JOMO (Joy of missing out)

Glad I missed it really, whatever it was"

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"Bullying is only possible when someone has power over another person. For instance a boss who could lose you your job. Disagreeing with someone is not bullying. Insulting someone is not bullying. Telling someone they're talking shit is not bullying. It's not pleasant but it's not bullying. Saying it is is very insulting and dismissive of genuine victims of bullying. If you can protect yourself from it then you are not being bullied. "

I respect your view and definition of bullying but don't agree. Disagreeing in a debate is not bullying but personal comments and insult hurling can be if it's a course of conduct designed to undermine.. just because one can defend itself does not mean it's not bullying. Even Mike Tyson can be bullied imo

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think there's a difference between negativity and just disagreeing or countering a person.

Yes, some things can be left unsaid, some things are nasty, others are just opposing views.

I think dismissing contrary views or a persons opinion is a slippery slope.

One person's negativity is another's honesty and we silence those at our peril. I for one don't want this to be an echo chamber of ego stroking and fawning over each other.

Being constructive in how it's said is important and abuse is never acceptable but just aiming to remove negative aspects entirely is a bit odd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't agree but that's cool cos we don't have to

and we don't need to hurl insults or make personal comments either, do we

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm a way you are both right. A single insult thrown around is not bullying, it does escalate to bullying. Especially online (even more so forums) due to the mob mentally as it puts the victim in to a vulnerable position being alone.

Even if the person is not phased by the bullying, what is still happening is bullying it is just not having the intended effect.

Also back to the OP, negetivity happens everywhere and some negativity is healthy. It is necessary part of human nature. The problem is people take it beyond negative and focus on hate.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

It's nearly a full moon, I've noticed it before that all the neg heads tend to resurface around this time.

I find positivity is much more sexy

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Oh..did i miss something?

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I guess there is just no accounting for some people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think there's a difference between negativity and just disagreeing or countering a person.

Yes, some things can be left unsaid, some things are nasty, others are just opposing views.

I think dismissing contrary views or a persons opinion is a slippery slope.

One person's negativity is another's honesty and we silence those at our peril. I for one don't want this to be an echo chamber of ego stroking and fawning over each other.

Being constructive in how it's said is important and abuse is never acceptable but just aiming to remove negative aspects entirely is a bit odd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even if the person is not phased by the bullying, what is still happening is bullying it is just not having the intended effect.

Also back to the OP, negetivity happens everywhere and some negativity is healthy. It is necessary part of human nature. The problem is people take it beyond negative and focus on hate. "

An emphatic "yaaaaas, queen" . The mob thing can feel like bullying and it's just as horrible. It's assuming a kind of power if you gang up so maybe it can be classified as bullying. I hadn't thought of it that way before so thanks, dude

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I sometimes see differing opinions; at times possibly heated discussions, but I think bullying is a tad OTT.... it’s a rare occurrence if it does happen.

With the numbers of users in the forum at any given time, there will always be a little fearher ruffling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Negativity was the reason I came off Facestalk... but i always found this site to be more positive. People in the UK (and I suspect the rest of the developed nations) are now so stressed, overworked and undervalued they need to vent somewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Negativity was the reason I came off Facestalk... but i always found this site to be more positive. People in the UK (and I suspect the rest of the developed nations) are now so stressed, overworked and undervalued they need to vent somewhere. "

Facebook can be horribly depressing in that way.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I keep seeing these posts but I haven't seen it. Same with teamonkey's thread. I guess the bad comments got removed before I read them or I'm just blind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Facebook can be horribly depressing in that way. "

It certainly can... I'm a positive guy... but it was dragging me down. They have done some research which shows it's bad for mental health x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Facebook can be horribly depressing in that way.

It certainly can... I'm a positive guy... but it was dragging me down. They have done some research which shows it's bad for mental health x"

I completely believe that. I try to tailor mine so I only see pics and vids of animals and posts from my groups, I don't have friends who post negative crap. But occasionally something will slip through and it doesn't make you feel good. Too much of that will have a negative effect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Facebook can be horribly depressing in that way.

It certainly can... I'm a positive guy... but it was dragging me down. They have done some research which shows it's bad for mental health x

Age makes it easier to filter things out and knowing when not to react. But, as you say, every now and again things sneak through xxx

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I keep seeing these posts but I haven't seen it. Same with teamonkey's thread. I guess the bad comments got removed before I read them or I'm just blind."

They were removed.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I keep seeing these posts but I haven't seen it. Same with teamonkey's thread. I guess the bad comments got removed before I read them or I'm just blind.

They were removed. "

I guess sometimes being late to the party has its benefits!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I keep seeing these posts but I haven't seen it. Same with teamonkey's thread. I guess the bad comments got removed before I read them or I'm just blind.

They were removed. "

I missed it all too. See, there are times it can make difficult viewing but at the same time I wanna know if someone is behaving like an arsehole and much prefer to see it with my own eyes over gossip.

The real bullying goes on behind the scenes.

I think if there are people who seem to have drama follow them, or the same kind of issues or problems with multiple people I'd rather know and be able to make an informed decision based on what I can see, instead those problems get removed from sight (and I appreciate sometimes they absolutely should be) but that leaves us none the wiser and people remain cloaked as their "true self" exposure has been hidden.

We all make mistakes, we are all responsible for ourselves and we all have the ability to apologise when we do fuck up or make a bad call and shoulder it.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Being negative can be interpreted in many ways. Some people like to put a positive spin on every situation. Some people are more realistic which may be interpreted as negative. Some people are naturally pessimistic but not sure that makes them negative.

If you are pessimistic you are not often disappointed imo.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Its no wonder some people never post again on the forum sometimes?they can come across as unwelcoming to newbies at times.

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

Too many keyboard warriors

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I keep seeing these posts but I haven't seen it. Same with teamonkey's thread. I guess the bad comments got removed before I read them or I'm just blind.

They were removed.

The real bullying goes on behind the scenes.

We all make mistakes, we are all responsible for ourselves and we all have the ability to apologise when we do fuck up or make a bad call and shoulder it.

I agree. Also removing comments sometimes changes how the conversation is perceived afterwards. Someone may appear irrationally upset when you can't see all the original comments. I understand some things need to be removed but sometimes it's just petty squabbles and both members have been given time outs anyway. I also haven't yet been able to work out why some threads just get closed and others get removed. I understand those relating to illegal activities being removed or something that could cause trouble for other members but some that get removed are just people being a bit idiotic.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Too many people on this site are easily triggered and easily offended. Many tend to react with spur of the moment emotional posts that would be different if cooler heads prevailed. Fascinating read sometimes over a bowl of caramelized popcorn

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I feel there is a fair amount of negativity in society right now.

Perhaps as a result of deep divisions over the ongoing political saga, perhaps just a general feeling of unease, anxiety, discontent...

I think "people" including our younger generation do not feel very secure for a whole host of reasons, and this is often shown in general forum dicsussions... kind of lurking in the back of people's minds, often not even aware that they being negative.

Just a thought.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

There will be no deep political divisions after leaving the EU I am sure

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