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Safety Person

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am not going into great detail here as to why this is needed, but haven't seen a post on this here inawhile. And yes there are very personal, very heartbreaking, very real reasons why this is important to me.

A safety person is someone who - simply - makes sure you are safe. They are not their to judge, offer an opinion, make you feel inconsequential - they are simply there to be your safety person when you go on a meet.

You give them the persons name, number, picture and where you are going to be and a time frame. You let the person you are meeting know that you have divulged their information to a person you trust to protect everyones safety involved. If that other person has any ounce of a problem regarding your safety, you are an adult and can make your own decisions as to if you want to meet them but please do not meet without safety. Your safety person isn't there to judge, gossip, or share information unless they have to. They are not there to make your decisions about your life except protecting it. A safety person, like you, is an adult who respects that you just want to feel safe and that is all.

Your safety person - is someone who will start moving police, mountains, motorcades, if they cannot contact you or hear from you by a certain time. And they will.

Please protect yourselves.

IF YOU DO NOT have a safety person, get a hold of me. I will be your safety person. I may not live in the UK but I know how to shake shit up to get you home, alive, and safe, if I have to. I also know there are so many people on these forums who are going to raise their hands and say the same - and please do that. Please offer your non - judgemental, non - threatening, selves to anyone who wants to feel protected.

Please have this conversation with anyone who is new, or anyone who you see just needs to know that their safety is more important than your bias.

Your life is so precious, and so valued, and your safety is more important to me than anything.

Come back safe.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not going into great detail here as to why this is needed, but haven't seen a post on this here inawhile. And yes there are very personal, very heartbreaking, very real reasons why this is important to me.

A safety person is someone who - simply - makes sure you are safe. They are not their to judge, offer an opinion, make you feel inconsequential - they are simply there to be your safety person when you go on a meet.

You give them the persons name, number, picture and where you are going to be and a time frame. You let the person you are meeting know that you have divulged their information to a person you trust to protect everyones safety involved. If that other person has any ounce of a problem regarding your safety, you are an adult and can make your own decisions as to if you want to meet them but please do not meet without safety. Your safety person isn't there to judge, gossip, or share information unless they have to. They are not there to make your decisions about your life except protecting it. A safety person, like you, is an adult who respects that you just want to feel safe and that is all.

Your safety person - is someone who will start moving police, mountains, motorcades, if they cannot contact you or hear from you by a certain time. And they will.

Please protect yourselves.

IF YOU DO NOT have a safety person, get a hold of me. I will be your safety person. I may not live in the UK but I know how to shake shit up to get you home, alive, and safe, if I have to. I also know there are so many people on these forums who are going to raise their hands and say the same - and please do that. Please offer your non - judgemental, non - threatening, selves to anyone who wants to feel protected.

Please have this conversation with anyone who is new, or anyone who you see just needs to know that their safety is more important than your bias.

Your life is so precious, and so valued, and your safety is more important to me than anything.

Come back safe.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

"

Do you think guys should have a safety person too? I've had girls tell me they've given my details to a friend for safety and I always thought that was sensible but it's something I've never really thought about for myself, but I guess even for straight dudes you never know who you're meeting until they turn up.....

.....I've always gotten to know the person in advance usually, so I have a good idea and they'd have to put up with my shit on text and phone usually before any date so it's never worried me. But I guess there are still some clever arseholes out there....

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By *eilde HoarWoman
over a year ago

In a wax coated bubble

Everyone should have a safety person, we all share it in our group of friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not going into great detail here as to why this is needed, but haven't seen a post on this here inawhile. And yes there are very personal, very heartbreaking, very real reasons why this is important to me.

A safety person is someone who - simply - makes sure you are safe. They are not their to judge, offer an opinion, make you feel inconsequential - they are simply there to be your safety person when you go on a meet.

You give them the persons name, number, picture and where you are going to be and a time frame. You let the person you are meeting know that you have divulged their information to a person you trust to protect everyones safety involved. If that other person has any ounce of a problem regarding your safety, you are an adult and can make your own decisions as to if you want to meet them but please do not meet without safety. Your safety person isn't there to judge, gossip, or share information unless they have to. They are not there to make your decisions about your life except protecting it. A safety person, like you, is an adult who respects that you just want to feel safe and that is all.

Your safety person - is someone who will start moving police, mountains, motorcades, if they cannot contact you or hear from you by a certain time. And they will.

Please protect yourselves.

IF YOU DO NOT have a safety person, get a hold of me. I will be your safety person. I may not live in the UK but I know how to shake shit up to get you home, alive, and safe, if I have to. I also know there are so many people on these forums who are going to raise their hands and say the same - and please do that. Please offer your non - judgemental, non - threatening, selves to anyone who wants to feel protected.

Please have this conversation with anyone who is new, or anyone who you see just needs to know that their safety is more important than your bias.

Your life is so precious, and so valued, and your safety is more important to me than anything.

Come back safe.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

Do you think guys should have a safety person too? I've had girls tell me they've given my details to a friend for safety and I always thought that was sensible but it's something I've never really thought about for myself, but I guess even for straight dudes you never know who you're meeting until they turn up.....

.....I've always gotten to know the person in advance usually, so I have a good idea and they'd have to put up with my shit on text and phone usually before any date so it's never worried me. But I guess there are still some clever arseholes out there.... "

The advice isnt gender specific and doesnt mention anywhere its just for females.

Its for everyone

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Do you think guys should have a safety person too? I've had girls tell me they've given my details to a friend for safety and I always thought that was sensible but it's something I've never really thought about for myself, but I guess even for straight dudes you never know who you're meeting until they turn up.....

.....I've always gotten to know the person in advance usually, so I have a good idea and they'd have to put up with my shit on text and phone usually before any date so it's never worried me. But I guess there are still some clever arseholes out there.... "

Absolutely. There is literally no difference. Protect yourselves.

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Safety is paramount for everyone, especially in this day and age!!

I'd happily be a safety person for someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not going into great detail here as to why this is needed, but haven't seen a post on this here inawhile. And yes there are very personal, very heartbreaking, very real reasons why this is important to me.

A safety person is someone who - simply - makes sure you are safe. They are not their to judge, offer an opinion, make you feel inconsequential - they are simply there to be your safety person when you go on a meet.

You give them the persons name, number, picture and where you are going to be and a time frame. You let the person you are meeting know that you have divulged their information to a person you trust to protect everyones safety involved. If that other person has any ounce of a problem regarding your safety, you are an adult and can make your own decisions as to if you want to meet them but please do not meet without safety. Your safety person isn't there to judge, gossip, or share information unless they have to. They are not there to make your decisions about your life except protecting it. A safety person, like you, is an adult who respects that you just want to feel safe and that is all.

Your safety person - is someone who will start moving police, mountains, motorcades, if they cannot contact you or hear from you by a certain time. And they will.

Please protect yourselves.

IF YOU DO NOT have a safety person, get a hold of me. I will be your safety person. I may not live in the UK but I know how to shake shit up to get you home, alive, and safe, if I have to. I also know there are so many people on these forums who are going to raise their hands and say the same - and please do that. Please offer your non - judgemental, non - threatening, selves to anyone who wants to feel protected.

Please have this conversation with anyone who is new, or anyone who you see just needs to know that their safety is more important than your bias.

Your life is so precious, and so valued, and your safety is more important to me than anything.

Come back safe.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

Do you think guys should have a safety person too? I've had girls tell me they've given my details to a friend for safety and I always thought that was sensible but it's something I've never really thought about for myself, but I guess even for straight dudes you never know who you're meeting until they turn up.....

.....I've always gotten to know the person in advance usually, so I have a good idea and they'd have to put up with my shit on text and phone usually before any date so it's never worried me. But I guess there are still some clever arseholes out there....

The advice isnt gender specific and doesnt mention anywhere its just for females.

Its for everyone"

I know friend! I was just saying as a big strong (skinny) fella I've never worried, but I probs should think about it more, especially if I was to meet more casually...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont believe anyone no matter their sex should go on a meet with a new person without informing someone where they are going.

I havent seen a thread like this before but it's a real good idea and good to see people care about their own safety and the safety of their fellow fabbers.

If any of you need a safety person in NI I'd be happy to help

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

EVERYONE needs a safety person. EVERYONE.

Not my story to tell but no matter how strong you think you are, no matter how many times you've met different people, no matter how experienced you are, every single time you meet someone you don't know it is a big risk and shit does happen.

99.9% of the time everything is fine and everyone has a lot of fun, but it's that 0.1% of the time that we need to plan for.

Happy to be anyone's safety person in a completely open and non-judgemental way, acknowledging that I also am some randomer off the internet.

Please, however you choose to do it, do find someone who will look out for your safety.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Glad to see some fabbers offering safety! Good comments so far!

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Safety first.

We have a chat group.

My Birds, always know who I'm meeting

& where I'm going.

Follow me on a tracker app.

Check in on arrival, on leaving & once home.

Emergency button set on my phone, 1 press & the calls go out.

Failing that, I have a good right hook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always tell someone where I’m going and turn the location on my phone on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always tell someone where I’m going and turn the location on my phone on"

Mines also always on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How lovely. X

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

When I first joined here, my best friend implemented this straight away. No doubt he has got me out of some mad situations.

It is so important to tell someone. Have an emergency code or sentence for text or phone ours is the name of a capital city for example.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"Safety first.

We have a chat group.

My Birds, always know who I'm meeting

& where I'm going.

Follow me on a tracker app.

Check in on arrival, on leaving & once home.

Emergency button set on my phone, 1 press & the calls go out.

Failing that, I have a good right hook "

What tracker app would you recommend for anyone that doesn't currently use one?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Cell phones are great but wont help you if someone knocks you out and tosses it.

Plus they can be hacked; disabled; you can be in an area with no service; they can be emp stunted; so many various ways to fuck with your phone.

It IS a very good protection but nothing is better than a person who will raise a shitstorm if they dont hear from you. Please DO NOT rely solely on technology.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I don’t tell anyone, but I don’t meet people on a whim either and it’s always in a very public place and far enough away from my home. I’ve normally been chatting to them for at least a month and know enough about them to leave a dossier about them and my movements in my house.

It’s basic common sense and something you should use in everyday life not just this site

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"Cell phones are great but wont help you if someone knocks you out and tosses it.

Plus they can be hacked; disabled; you can be in an area with no service; they can be emp stunted; so many various ways to fuck with your phone.

It IS a very good protection but nothing is better than a person who will raise a shitstorm if they dont hear from you. Please DO NOT rely solely on technology.

"

Spot on, tech only works as much as people work with it.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"Safety first.

We have a chat group.

My Birds, always know who I'm meeting

& where I'm going.

Follow me on a tracker app.

Check in on arrival, on leaving & once home.

Emergency button set on my phone, 1 press & the calls go out.

Failing that, I have a good right hook

What tracker app would you recommend for anyone that doesn't currently use one?"

We just use Google Maps, live location

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"Safety first.

We have a chat group.

My Birds, always know who I'm meeting

& where I'm going.

Follow me on a tracker app.

Check in on arrival, on leaving & once home.

Emergency button set on my phone, 1 press & the calls go out.

Failing that, I have a good right hook

What tracker app would you recommend for anyone that doesn't currently use one?

We just use Google Maps, live location "

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By *DreamOfGenieWoman
over a year ago

London

Great post, OP. I have a wonderful friend who I send details to (not in the scene, but gets it).

Happy to be someone's safety person if they're not able to tell anyone in RL - just drop me a PM

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Great post, OP. I have a wonderful friend who I send details to (not in the scene, but gets it).

Happy to be someone's safety person if they're not able to tell anyone in RL - just drop me a PM "

Same here

Having had a very bad meet at the beginning of the year where I ended up with a black eye, safety is absolutely paramount!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a really good idea.

Indeed. The administrators of the site should actually build it into the site so there is a register of people willing to be safety people.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Great post op, to any men on here thinking they're bigger or stronger than the female they're going to meet. You're physical strength is going to be useless if your drink is spiked etc.

And even if you've got to know someone on line for a bit. How many people have you known who started off nice and then turned a bit nasty after a while?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Love the comments! Keep them coming!

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

My wing-girl isn't on fab, but she bakes a mean lemon drizzle. The OP's advice is really good. We all have to be proactive about making each meet as safe as possible.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

Welsh Lass

I have a male friend on here who i look out for. He has slightly more adventurous roleplay type meets, so i mothered him into letting me know he’s safe when the meets are done.

No details of what happened are shared, it’s just to make sure he’s safe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good idea OP

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Great post op thanks

I am lucky that i have Jack who would always have all the details of who i was meeting .

Can be hard telling people in real life about this site and having meets,so i am sure there are some people who really appreciate this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is an excellent post - when i get to the point of a new meet, i may take someone up on their offer.

I did this when i got involved in my current dynamic and it really helped me to relax and feel more in control of the situation

I would like to offer myself as someone who is sane, caring and non-judgemental + discreet to do this for someone else in need x

Maybe we should agree a PM heading so it doesn't get lost in the sea of messages and so the receiver knows it is important /request for help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I appreciate your concern, but I find your advice a wee bit scare mongery. I'll carry on taking precautions the way I already do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's a really good idea.

Indeed. The administrators of the site should actually build it into the site so there is a register of people willing to be safety people."

This!

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Really great idea for all. I've always had a safety person and I also am a safety person for 3 friends on here - all male. You never know. Be safe x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a safety friend, thankfully all has been well so I've not needed any help. But I think I'm moving onto the club scene to meet new people, safer, private rooms and if a no show the night isn't wasted.

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By *ourayloversCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield

Excellent post as I suspect some wouldn't even think about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be happy to help anyone needing a safety friend.

I have one, but sometimes they have a life too, so another would be good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My best mate does this for me, she knows me well and doesn't judge me at all.

Would love to know what tracker app is the best to use though. So if anyone can tell me one please feel free.

The Snapchat location feature is helpful though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm also happy to be a safety person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never even considered any of this to be honest.

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

What a brilliant post. For new and experienced people on here. Safety always first.

Always happy to be someone’s contact or local to Sheffield if needed any help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great post. I need to get a tracker app on my phone x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is an excellent post - when i get to the point of a new meet, i may take someone up on their offer.

I did this when i got involved in my current dynamic and it really helped me to relax and feel more in control of the situation

I would like to offer myself as someone who is sane, caring and non-judgemental + discreet to do this for someone else in need x

Maybe we should agree a PM heading so it doesn't get lost in the sea of messages and so the receiver knows it is important /request for help"

Excellent idea. With people having filters though can be a bit challenging.

What would you, or anyone, suggest?

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"I’d be happy to help anyone needing a safety friend.

I have one, but sometimes they have a life too, so another would be good "

Any time you can shout me!

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I have a safe buddy!

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Who's vetting the safety people?

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By *ubbermaidbabyCouple
over a year ago

clwyd

This is why we actually only really now meet a clubs, it’s safer.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"Who's vetting the safety people?"

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

This is why I only meet in clubs, if that were to change I'd definitely tell my friends and my mother where and who I was with.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"Who's vetting the safety people?"

Me!

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Who's vetting the safety people?

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"

I said WHO'S VETTING THE SAFETY PEOPLE?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not going into great detail here as to why this is needed, but haven't seen a post on this here inawhile. And yes there are very personal, very heartbreaking, very real reasons why this is important to me.

A safety person is someone who - simply - makes sure you are safe. They are not their to judge, offer an opinion, make you feel inconsequential - they are simply there to be your safety person when you go on a meet.

You give them the persons name, number, picture and where you are going to be and a time frame. You let the person you are meeting know that you have divulged their information to a person you trust to protect everyones safety involved. If that other person has any ounce of a problem regarding your safety, you are an adult and can make your own decisions as to if you want to meet them but please do not meet without safety. Your safety person isn't there to judge, gossip, or share information unless they have to. They are not there to make your decisions about your life except protecting it. A safety person, like you, is an adult who respects that you just want to feel safe and that is all.

Your safety person - is someone who will start moving police, mountains, motorcades, if they cannot contact you or hear from you by a certain time. And they will.

Please protect yourselves.

IF YOU DO NOT have a safety person, get a hold of me. I will be your safety person. I may not live in the UK but I know how to shake shit up to get you home, alive, and safe, if I have to. I also know there are so many people on these forums who are going to raise their hands and say the same - and please do that. Please offer your non - judgemental, non - threatening, selves to anyone who wants to feel protected.

Please have this conversation with anyone who is new, or anyone who you see just needs to know that their safety is more important than your bias.

Your life is so precious, and so valued, and your safety is more important to me than anything.

Come back safe.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

"

Any day any time, safety is better than sorry,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes my friend has always known where I am when I’ve met for a social and who it’s with.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

This is a great idea. Any one who meets people alone (male or female) should have someone they cab trust as a safety person. Can't be too careful these days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not going into great detail here as to why this is needed, but haven't seen a post on this here inawhile. And yes there are very personal, very heartbreaking, very real reasons why this is important to me.

A safety person is someone who - simply - makes sure you are safe. They are not their to judge, offer an opinion, make you feel inconsequential - they are simply there to be your safety person when you go on a meet.

You give them the persons name, number, picture and where you are going to be and a time frame. You let the person you are meeting know that you have divulged their information to a person you trust to protect everyones safety involved. If that other person has any ounce of a problem regarding your safety, you are an adult and can make your own decisions as to if you want to meet them but please do not meet without safety. Your safety person isn't there to judge, gossip, or share information unless they have to. They are not there to make your decisions about your life except protecting it. A safety person, like you, is an adult who respects that you just want to feel safe and that is all.

Your safety person - is someone who will start moving police, mountains, motorcades, if they cannot contact you or hear from you by a certain time. And they will.

Please protect yourselves.

IF YOU DO NOT have a safety person, get a hold of me. I will be your safety person. I may not live in the UK but I know how to shake shit up to get you home, alive, and safe, if I have to. I also know there are so many people on these forums who are going to raise their hands and say the same - and please do that. Please offer your non - judgemental, non - threatening, selves to anyone who wants to feel protected.

Please have this conversation with anyone who is new, or anyone who you see just needs to know that their safety is more important than your bias.

Your life is so precious, and so valued, and your safety is more important to me than anything.

Come back safe.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

Do you think guys should have a safety person too? I've had girls tell me they've given my details to a friend for safety and I always thought that was sensible but it's something I've never really thought about for myself, but I guess even for straight dudes you never know who you're meeting until they turn up.....

.....I've always gotten to know the person in advance usually, so I have a good idea and they'd have to put up with my shit on text and phone usually before any date so it's never worried me. But I guess there are still some clever arseholes out there.... "

There was a post a couple of nights ago regarding women staying safe and completely agre with both posts and commented that men should take notice to the advice as well and if anyone has a problem with your safety walk away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d be happy to help anyone needing a safety friend.

I have one, but sometimes they have a life too, so another would be good

Any time you can shout me! "

Thank you xx

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Great idea. A neighbour was once my safety person - I have no shame.

Even with having one, it's also worth creating records that are easily discovered, should you get into a difficulty. Whether texting yourself extra details about the person or whats going on, spending time at a public CCTV venue (you can always text exact time and details) and anything else that seems sensible to do.

If in a private property, try to remain in sight of each other. If you consume something, it's preferable to potentially take or get your own refreshments - this may seem severe but may prevent you from regaining consciousness with an impaired memory.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

One of my best friends (not on Fab) always knows where I am on meets, and I check in with him at set times by text to let him know I'm okay.

I did the same for him when he was vanilla dating - I had to go to his rescue once as a woman was being really abusive and punching him because he didn't want sex with her (not because he's a wimp, he'd just never hit or even restrain a woman - I didn't have any qualms about retaliating when she threw a punch at me!)

I'm more than happy to be a safety person for anyone that needs one

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By *ez1987Man
over a year ago

Great Harwood, Blackburn

I have my best mate who is currently not on Fab, I give him the low down of my whereabouts and my time frame, I do check in regular with him.

I think everyone on here should have a contact person who knows where they are..

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I along with another female started this kind of thread a few years ago, and included all, I did put my name forward obviously and highlighted the male/females who were willing to partake, so it is a great idea to keep this in the forefront

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never thought about it,met a lady in London recently just to go to a gig together,saw gig,went seperate ways,think if I had to go to some of these extremes I wouldn't be meeting

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Good to hear so many with safety persons! And offering!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really good posting OP. Really made me think...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a few single female friends on here that let me know who ,where and when if they arrange a meet outside a club. Personally I mostly only meet in clubs these days or with my regulars . You never know who you are meeting. I've had male friends that have met off some of the popular dating sites. Only to have their wallets phone and keys taken off them by a group of lads waiting for them when they arrive at a Private address. Be careful guys.

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