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Exploring boundaries in play..

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By *ifferent69 OP   Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK

Help us out here ladies...

In the excitement and heat of play...

Is it better for a guy to attempt things then get a gentle " no" and telling off first...

Or

Is it best to ask.....hoping this won,t kill the moment?

Hope this makes sense..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Discuss before play?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Discuss before play? "

This. Doesn't kill the moment, doesn't risk upsetting someone or worse.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Discuss before play? "

This, the surprise factor in thre great of things won't go down well at times .. erm ... so to speak

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

For us, it’s important to establish the boundaries beforehand and have partners that we trust not to try to push.

We don’t like ‘permission’ sex where partners have to ask to do something but equally don’t like people to push our hard limits.

It’s all about trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely discuss, agree + understand soft / hard limits in advance of any play /dynamic ...

Ideally you should be pushing your own limits, not someone else's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are struggling, you can find some example of soft and hard limit questionnaires online. Better and worse;-)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

For me, even if I like the thing, doing it without making sure I'm into it first is often a way to get me to cross a person off my repeat meet list.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

It's all about time with me. Building trust it's not happening over 1 or 2 meets. If you want my mind, body and soul then you need to beable to build that trust.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

If you have established the necessary trust with a woman she will tell you what boundary she wants you to explore if any. That trust comes with time. Until that time it's best to stay within her declared boundaries.

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By *entileschiWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

In the heat of the moment I want things I couldn't imagine beforehand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Discuss before play? "

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"In the heat of the moment I want things I couldn't imagine beforehand."

I suppose we're all different. In the heat of the moment I don't always have the faculties or feel the power to say no, or I'm not heard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely discuss limits and expectations before play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't that part of the fun and mental stimulation as you discuss what you do and don't wish to try?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had an incredible woman but she was so polite to me that she asked for permission each time she wanted to change position and try something different. It was nice of her, but it felt a bit strange to grant her permission for this and that during intercourse. I just go with instinct and do what I think she might like, but give her every opportunity to say no if she doesn't like something I do during intercourse. e.g. I began to kiss down her whole body and the souls of her beautiful bare feet. But my moustache was tickling her feet and she gently moved them away and said 'no' and I obliged. I usually chat with the girls in the lounge or jacuzzi at the clubs I go to. It helps to create a good introduction and to see what each other likes when we head up to the play rooms afterwards.

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