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Intimidating

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I was having a conversation yesterday with a friend of mine from here and this subject came up in relevance to myself. Apparently I can come across quite abrupt and serious at times on here, something which those who know me really is not the case.

This got me thinking as to how the regular posters are perceived and whether this impression impacts on your/their ability to make connections and (heaven forbid) actually meet.

This is a bit of a multiple question then; when you were/if you are new, did the regular posters intimidate you? Do you feel that you do come across as intimidating? And, have you experienced any situations where the 'Forum you' affected meeting others.

Your thoughts folks...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I see you as able to put across a point of view.

I've never felt intimidated by you.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I doubt anybody is intimidated by me

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I'll take my thoughts further. Thank you for asking Tea Monkey.

You say ' a friend' said you come across as - abrupt and serious -

That doesn't mean it's true. It's just someone you know deflecting their feelings on to you.

Don't wear it.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Op you seem kind and considerate never have intimated me it takes a lot to intimidate me and hope I seem approachable and kind.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I doubt anybody is intimidated by me "

I'm not.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I wouldn't say I was intimidated by the regular posters. A couple were less than welcoming when I started posting so I tended to avoid their threads, not because I was intimidated, just because they'd been dickish to me so I didn't want to communicate with them at all.

I've never found you intimidating at all, and I really hope nobody has ever found me intimidating.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I wouldn't say I was intimidated by the regular posters. A couple were less than welcoming when I started posting so I tended to avoid their threads, not because I was intimidated, just because they'd been dickish to me so I didn't want to communicate with them at all.

I've never found you intimidating at all, and I really hope nobody has ever found me intimidating. "

Your lovely x

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

How interesting... after all the stuff we’ve experienced in the real world, nobody we’ve encountered on Fab - either real meets or messages or forum - seems intimidating. In fact most of the people we’ve encountered here just seem lovely. As for how people perceive us... Don’t have a clue. Now you’ve raised the subject OP, kinda curious to find out.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"I doubt anybody is intimidated by me

I'm not."

Cheers

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

Never felt intimidated by you at all OP love your threads and few others on here that post regularly as fb much as I’d like to join in I feel too shy to

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"I wouldn't say I was intimidated by the regular posters. A couple were less than welcoming when I started posting so I tended to avoid their threads, not because I was intimidated, just because they'd been dickish to me so I didn't want to communicate with them at all.

I've never found you intimidating at all, and I really hope nobody has ever found me intimidating.

Your lovely x"

So are you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't say I was intimidated by the regular posters. A couple were less than welcoming when I started posting so I tended to avoid their threads, not because I was intimidated, just because they'd been dickish to me so I didn't want to communicate with them at all.

I've never found you intimidating at all, and I really hope nobody has ever found me intimidating. "

This for me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was having a conversation yesterday with a friend of mine from here and this subject came up in relevance to myself. Apparently I can come across quite abrupt and serious at times on here, something which those who know me really is not the case.

This got me thinking as to how the regular posters are perceived and whether this impression impacts on your/their ability to make connections and (heaven forbid) actually meet.

This is a bit of a multiple question then; when you were/if you are new, did the regular posters intimidate you? Do you feel that you do come across as intimidating? And, have you experienced any situations where the 'Forum you' affected meeting others.

Your thoughts folks... "

I can't say I find anyone intimidating on here. I've been told that I can come across as scary. *shrugs*. It's just the way I am. I can't and won't try to be everyone's friend. I'm not bothered by that so it hasn't affected my experience. Not sure what you mean by how the "forum you" affected meeting others?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never felt intimidated in relation to anyone on here. However, I have formed opinions and views of people’s personalities and whether I might like them in person based on how they’ve come across on here. And I think that’s only natural. But it’s always a bit of a false representation of a person, as I’ve said previously, because so much of what makes up a personality only ever really comes across in person. You’re always going to have a huge part of the picture missing in online interaction.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

From individual posts for some it can seem that way I guess.

When you look at all posts of a person you tend to see more of an actual person. Sometimes even then they could appear intimidating, but it's usually less than just one big impactful post.

I highly doubt I intimidate anyone, however that is how I view myself, it may very well be different from the outside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I have to echo what granny said. Because one person says your intimidating that's their issue. Not yours.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think people either think I'm hilarious or a bit of a dick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think people either think I'm hilarious or a bit of a dick "

I have no idea what people think of me. Not sure I’d particularly want to know either...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a wanker irl too

Jus kitten,I'm actually really mild mannered, caring and considerate, although I'm definitely a 'thinker'. For some reason ppl here apparently think I'm argumentative, outspoken, cocky, cheeky and confident. I've actually only just had a girl in the face pic Friday thread say that my face looks just like my forum persona of being confident and outspoken, and also a nobber! I'm still not quite clear on what a nobber is, but I'm taking it as a compliment, cockily....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And I have to echo what granny said. Because one person says your intimidating that's their issue. Not yours. "

I'll echo this again....

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire


"I think people either think I'm hilarious or a bit of a dick "

I find u hilarious

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I've never found you intimidating or in any way abrupt or overly serious OP. I think you're serious when it's appropriate.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"I think people either think I'm hilarious or a bit of a dick "

Why not be both!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I can't recall ever being intimidated by a regular fora user in all honesty. Actually, there was one but that was more down to their physical appearance and me projecting my body insecurities on to him.

I've been told before that I can come as intimidating, condescending and patronising. I think quite often it is a projection of how that person feels and their issues not necessarily a true depiction of me.

I think that how we view someone on here can oft be flawed; posts are only a snapshot of a person at that particular moment in time, responding to that particular thread or post rather than a fully fleshed out image. Also, our confirmation bias comes in to play - we might think X is a mardy arse and then every post we see that confirms it strengthens our viewpoint but we discount the ones that don't if that makes sense?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I doubt anybody is intimidated by me "

I don't but I do sometimes want to give you a hug and wish you were a bit more positive about yourself.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I'm a wanker irl too

Jus kitten,I'm actually really mild mannered, caring and considerate, although I'm definitely a 'thinker'. For some reason ppl here apparently think I'm argumentative, outspoken, cocky, cheeky and confident. I've actually only just had a girl in the face pic Friday thread say that my face looks just like my forum persona of being confident and outspoken, and also a nobber! I'm still not quite clear on what a nobber is, but I'm taking it as a compliment, cockily.... "

Who thinks your all of those things I don't your shy and naive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you are at all, I'm (mrs k) better for knowing so i know i don't always come over well.But we aren't here to please everyone are we

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I think people either think I'm hilarious or a bit of a dick

I find u hilarious "

Thank you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't recall ever being intimidated by a regular fora user in all honesty. Actually, there was one but that was more down to their physical appearance and me projecting my body insecurities on to him.

I've been told before that I can come as intimidating, condescending and patronising. I think quite often it is a projection of how that person feels and their issues not necessarily a true depiction of me.

I think that how we view someone on here can oft be flawed; posts are only a snapshot of a person at that particular moment in time, responding to that particular thread or post rather than a fully fleshed out image. Also, our confirmation bias comes in to play - we might think X is a mardy arse and then every post we see that confirms it strengthens our viewpoint but we discount the ones that don't if that makes sense? "

Perfect sense and echoing what I think too - it’s never going to give you anywhere close to a true representation of a person. As an aside - I’m not sure how anyone could find you condescending or intimidating - as a newbie I have to say I think you come across as lovely and warm

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't recall ever being intimidated by a regular fora user in all honesty. Actually, there was one but that was more down to their physical appearance and me projecting my body insecurities on to him.

I've been told before that I can come as intimidating, condescending and patronising. I think quite often it is a projection of how that person feels and their issues not necessarily a true depiction of me.

I think that how we view someone on here can oft be flawed; posts are only a snapshot of a person at that particular moment in time, responding to that particular thread or post rather than a fully fleshed out image. Also, our confirmation bias comes in to play - we might think X is a mardy arse and then every post we see that confirms it strengthens our viewpoint but we discount the ones that don't if that makes sense? "

Crystal clear, and I agree, nobody intimidates me here, maybe that's why we get seen as intimidating ourselves though.. ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a wanker irl too

Jus kitten,I'm actually really mild mannered, caring and considerate, although I'm definitely a 'thinker'. For some reason ppl here apparently think I'm argumentative, outspoken, cocky, cheeky and confident. I've actually only just had a girl in the face pic Friday thread say that my face looks just like my forum persona of being confident and outspoken, and also a nobber! I'm still not quite clear on what a nobber is, but I'm taking it as a compliment, cockily.... "

I'm so crushing on you Nippy

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I think people either think I'm hilarious or a bit of a dick

Why not be both! "

I genuinely never intend to be a dick. Sometimes people just don't get my shit sense of humour .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a wanker irl too

Jus kitten,I'm actually really mild mannered, caring and considerate, although I'm definitely a 'thinker'. For some reason ppl here apparently think I'm argumentative, outspoken, cocky, cheeky and confident. I've actually only just had a girl in the face pic Friday thread say that my face looks just like my forum persona of being confident and outspoken, and also a nobber! I'm still not quite clear on what a nobber is, but I'm taking it as a compliment, cockily....

I'm so crushing on you Nippy "

Awwww ditto my love

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Your a good thoughtful of others guy OP. Thats how i see you anyway x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so much intimidation, but I once dared to disagree with a really popular forum user. Turns out she didn’t want advice like she asked, she actually wanted white knights to save her. Well I was new to the forums and gave the best advice I could give her.

I got a fuck tone of abuse from her, all her white knights joined in, other forum users etc. So I stopped using the forums for a while (I had only just started using them).

When I came back I was so tentative whenever these forum users were active and I was pretty intimidated for a while.

But yes Tea Monkey you’re a scary boy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I’ve had similar conversations this last week.

Start at the beginning, new to the forums were they intimidating, no just let them get on with their chat as most threads go off on a tangent and personal conversations. Just say what you want to say and don’t expect a response. Most importantly just be yourself.

My persona, it’s interesting how people see you and I laugh when it’s so off the mark but it’s how they read your comments, but don’t use emojis either they confuse people to !

I’ve never been one for fluffing up my words, to make people feel better, I just say it as it is. I don’t publicly piss on people’s lamp posts I see no need for it. If I like someone I tell them I don’t play games. To some that may come across as blunt / brash and lacking warmth, so be it. Those that know me and actually have a proper conversation know differently

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Also, our confirmation bias comes in to play - we might think X is a mardy arse and then every post we see that confirms it strengthens our viewpoint but we discount the ones that don't if that makes sense?

Perfect sense and echoing what I think too - it’s never going to give you anywhere close to a true representation of a person. As an aside - I’m not sure how anyone could find you condescending or intimidating - as a newbie I have to say I think you come across as lovely and warm "

Thanks LJ! I have my twattish moments sometimes, we all do. But that's not the sum of anyone of us.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

You've been sharp towards me a couple of times

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Writing, txts etc can come over so negative to some and never give the true reflection or character of the person, writing .. but it’s an age we live in and some have ended up on the scrap heap due to technology... can be deflating at times but you still can’t beat pen and paper and meeting ppl in person ????

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't recall ever being intimidated by a regular fora user in all honesty. Actually, there was one but that was more down to their physical appearance and me projecting my body insecurities on to him.

I've been told before that I can come as intimidating, condescending and patronising. I think quite often it is a projection of how that person feels and their issues not necessarily a true depiction of me.

I think that how we view someone on here can oft be flawed; posts are only a snapshot of a person at that particular moment in time, responding to that particular thread or post rather than a fully fleshed out image. Also, our confirmation bias comes in to play - we might think X is a mardy arse and then every post we see that confirms it strengthens our viewpoint but we discount the ones that don't if that makes sense?

Crystal clear, and I agree, nobody intimidates me here, maybe that's why we get seen as intimidating ourselves though.. ?"

Intimidating is a strong word and isn’t a word I’d ever apply to someone on an online forum. Personally, to feel intimidated I’d have to be in a person’s physical presence. But I supposed you can think “they’re a bit of a dick” etc... Disclaimer - that wasn’t directed at anyone in particular

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, I was gonna say TM never comes across as intimidating to me and I couldn't imagine him coming across like that to others either. Even when we have our differences there's always respect

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Not a particular poster no, but the forums themselves seemed intimidating as a whole when I first joined. But you just get on with it.

Some folk appear more approachable than others but that is life in general.

I don’t think i’m Intimidating, my height might be, but i’m a pussycat, as those who message me will know. I’m just a bit of an acquired taste.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

While not intimidating exactly, I will say sometimes I will go to post something and remember a few comments made by people in other similar threads etc and just think I can't be bothered with those kinds of things.

So I guess in a way it is intimidating but not from a fearful view point.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't recall ever being intimidated by a regular fora user in all honesty. Actually, there was one but that was more down to their physical appearance and me projecting my body insecurities on to him.

I've been told before that I can come as intimidating, condescending and patronising. I think quite often it is a projection of how that person feels and their issues not necessarily a true depiction of me.

I think that how we view someone on here can oft be flawed; posts are only a snapshot of a person at that particular moment in time, responding to that particular thread or post rather than a fully fleshed out image. Also, our confirmation bias comes in to play - we might think X is a mardy arse and then every post we see that confirms it strengthens our viewpoint but we discount the ones that don't if that makes sense?

Crystal clear, and I agree, nobody intimidates me here, maybe that's why we get seen as intimidating ourselves though.. ?

Intimidating is a strong word and isn’t a word I’d ever apply to someone on an online forum. Personally, to feel intimidated I’d have to be in a person’s physical presence. But I supposed you can think “they’re a bit of a dick” etc... Disclaimer - that wasn’t directed at anyone in particular "

So I'm a dick now ..????

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Not so much intimidation, but I once dared to disagree with a really popular forum user. Turns out she didn’t want advice like she asked, she actually wanted white knights to save her. Well I was new to the forums and gave the best advice I could give her.

I got a fuck tone of abuse from her, all her white knights joined in, other forum users etc. So I stopped using the forums for a while (I had only just started using them).

When I came back I was so tentative whenever these forum users were active and I was pretty intimidated for a while.

But yes Tea Monkey you’re a scary boy "

Jesus that's awful.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Not so much intimidation, but I once dared to disagree with a really popular forum user. Turns out she didn’t want advice like she asked, she actually wanted white knights to save her. Well I was new to the forums and gave the best advice I could give her.

I got a fuck tone of abuse from her, all her white knights joined in, other forum users etc. So I stopped using the forums for a while (I had only just started using them).

When I came back I was so tentative whenever these forum users were active and I was pretty intimidated for a while.

But yes Tea Monkey you’re a scary boy "

They do tend to do that and well done you for just being you xxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was new, all these 'ere forums were fields. The forumites at the time were very intimidating.

I've met people at socials- some 'get' me and some don't. Most tell me I come across as an utter knob.

I've met for sex meats on different profiles and they don't know about this one, so the forum stuff didn't affect the experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"While not intimidating exactly, I will say sometimes I will go to post something and remember a few comments made by people in other similar threads etc and just think I can't be bothered with those kinds of things.

So I guess in a way it is intimidating but not from a fearful view point. "

Yes, exactly the same for me. I’ll go to post and then think “ahhh fuck that, can’t be arsed with the fallout from it” because of a previous experience. That’s not feeling intimidated as such - probably more exasperated with it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I was new, all these 'ere forums were fields. The forumites at the time were very intimidating.

I've met people at socials- some 'get' me and some don't. Most tell me I come across as an utter knob.

I've met for sex meats on different profiles and they don't know about this one, so the forum stuff didn't affect the experience. "

Can I have some sex meat?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't recall ever being intimidated by a regular fora user in all honesty. Actually, there was one but that was more down to their physical appearance and me projecting my body insecurities on to him.

I've been told before that I can come as intimidating, condescending and patronising. I think quite often it is a projection of how that person feels and their issues not necessarily a true depiction of me.

I think that how we view someone on here can oft be flawed; posts are only a snapshot of a person at that particular moment in time, responding to that particular thread or post rather than a fully fleshed out image. Also, our confirmation bias comes in to play - we might think X is a mardy arse and then every post we see that confirms it strengthens our viewpoint but we discount the ones that don't if that makes sense?

Crystal clear, and I agree, nobody intimidates me here, maybe that's why we get seen as intimidating ourselves though.. ?

Intimidating is a strong word and isn’t a word I’d ever apply to someone on an online forum. Personally, to feel intimidated I’d have to be in a person’s physical presence. But I supposed you can think “they’re a bit of a dick” etc... Disclaimer - that wasn’t directed at anyone in particular

So I'm a dick now ..????"

I *think* you’re joking. So I’m going to leave this here.......

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

From conversations with newbies I often hear that they’re not particularly confident in messaging forum regulars for a number of reasons.. sometimes it seems that they have a lot of friends and may not have the time or inclination to make more.. they may also project a self confidence that’s not necessarily true...it’s hard to get a full picture of a person without speaking privately and for many that’s the hard part in starting a conversation.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"While not intimidating exactly, I will say sometimes I will go to post something and remember a few comments made by people in other similar threads etc and just think I can't be bothered with those kinds of things.

So I guess in a way it is intimidating but not from a fearful view point.

Yes, exactly the same for me. I’ll go to post and then think “ahhh fuck that, can’t be arsed with the fallout from it” because of a previous experience. That’s not feeling intimidated as such - probably more exasperated with it "

That's why I sometimes just drop a controversial bomb and then leave a thread forever . Especially when it's about kinks.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"From conversations with newbies I often hear that they’re not particularly confident in messaging forum regulars for a number of reasons.. sometimes it seems that they have a lot of friends and may not have the time or inclination to make more.. they may also project a self confidence that’s not necessarily true...it’s hard to get a full picture of a person without speaking privately and for many that’s the hard part in starting a conversation.

"

I take everything back I said above.

You scare the fuck out of me!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't recall ever being intimidated by a regular fora user in all honesty. Actually, there was one but that was more down to their physical appearance and me projecting my body insecurities on to him.

I've been told before that I can come as intimidating, condescending and patronising. I think quite often it is a projection of how that person feels and their issues not necessarily a true depiction of me.

I think that how we view someone on here can oft be flawed; posts are only a snapshot of a person at that particular moment in time, responding to that particular thread or post rather than a fully fleshed out image. Also, our confirmation bias comes in to play - we might think X is a mardy arse and then every post we see that confirms it strengthens our viewpoint but we discount the ones that don't if that makes sense?

Crystal clear, and I agree, nobody intimidates me here, maybe that's why we get seen as intimidating ourselves though.. ?

Intimidating is a strong word and isn’t a word I’d ever apply to someone on an online forum. Personally, to feel intimidated I’d have to be in a person’s physical presence. But I supposed you can think “they’re a bit of a dick” etc... Disclaimer - that wasn’t directed at anyone in particular

So I'm a dick now ..????

I *think* you’re joking. So I’m going to leave this here....... "

You're offering me your heart, after that....???

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much intimidation, but I once dared to disagree with a really popular forum user. Turns out she didn’t want advice like she asked, she actually wanted white knights to save her. Well I was new to the forums and gave the best advice I could give her.

I got a fuck tone of abuse from her, all her white knights joined in, other forum users etc. So I stopped using the forums for a while (I had only just started using them).

When I came back I was so tentative whenever these forum users were active and I was pretty intimidated for a while.

But yes Tea Monkey you’re a scary boy "

Is she still on the forums?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"When I was new, all these 'ere forums were fields. The forumites at the time were very intimidating.

I've met people at socials- some 'get' me and some don't. Most tell me I come across as an utter knob.

I've met for sex meats on different profiles and they don't know about this one, so the forum stuff didn't affect the experience.

Can I have some sex meat?"

Chicken or beef?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"While not intimidating exactly, I will say sometimes I will go to post something and remember a few comments made by people in other similar threads etc and just think I can't be bothered with those kinds of things.

So I guess in a way it is intimidating but not from a fearful view point.

Yes, exactly the same for me. I’ll go to post and then think “ahhh fuck that, can’t be arsed with the fallout from it” because of a previous experience. That’s not feeling intimidated as such - probably more exasperated with it

That's why I sometimes just drop a controversial bomb and then leave a thread forever . Especially when it's about kinks."

Haha a controversial bomb. Love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you come across as intimidating OP. You're mild mannered and your posts seem to be the ones newer, more nervous posters should feel comfy in, they're welcoming. Maybe the seriousness comes from nit getting involved in the sillier stuff so much? Maybe like Granny said.. its deflection?

How do I think I come across? I guess it depends on what I'm talking about and who to.

If it's a debate, or squabble and they're on the opposing end, then maybe I make some think twice before commenting. I can live with that.

Any other time and I imagine I come across as left leaning, vocal, opinionated, broke, old school hippy and reasonably happy, single dad.. who gets his arse out occasionally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I was new, all these 'ere forums were fields. The forumites at the time were very intimidating.

I've met people at socials- some 'get' me and some don't. Most tell me I come across as an utter knob.

I've met for sex meats on different profiles and they don't know about this one, so the forum stuff didn't affect the experience.

Can I have some sex meat?"

*wipes off the swarfega*

How you doin'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't recall ever being intimidated by a regular fora user in all honesty. Actually, there was one but that was more down to their physical appearance and me projecting my body insecurities on to him.

I've been told before that I can come as intimidating, condescending and patronising. I think quite often it is a projection of how that person feels and their issues not necessarily a true depiction of me.

I think that how we view someone on here can oft be flawed; posts are only a snapshot of a person at that particular moment in time, responding to that particular thread or post rather than a fully fleshed out image. Also, our confirmation bias comes in to play - we might think X is a mardy arse and then every post we see that confirms it strengthens our viewpoint but we discount the ones that don't if that makes sense?

Crystal clear, and I agree, nobody intimidates me here, maybe that's why we get seen as intimidating ourselves though.. ?

Intimidating is a strong word and isn’t a word I’d ever apply to someone on an online forum. Personally, to feel intimidated I’d have to be in a person’s physical presence. But I supposed you can think “they’re a bit of a dick” etc... Disclaimer - that wasn’t directed at anyone in particular

So I'm a dick now ..????

I *think* you’re joking. So I’m going to leave this here.......

You're offering me your heart, after that....??? "

Yes but shhhh before we get told off for flirting

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"From conversations with newbies I often hear that they’re not particularly confident in messaging forum regulars for a number of reasons.. sometimes it seems that they have a lot of friends and may not have the time or inclination to make more.. they may also project a self confidence that’s not necessarily true...it’s hard to get a full picture of a person without speaking privately and for many that’s the hard part in starting a conversation.

I take everything back I said above.

You scare the fuck out of me! "

As if.. you love it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't recall ever being intimidated by a regular fora user in all honesty. Actually, there was one but that was more down to their physical appearance and me projecting my body insecurities on to him.

I've been told before that I can come as intimidating, condescending and patronising. I think quite often it is a projection of how that person feels and their issues not necessarily a true depiction of me.

I think that how we view someone on here can oft be flawed; posts are only a snapshot of a person at that particular moment in time, responding to that particular thread or post rather than a fully fleshed out image. Also, our confirmation bias comes in to play - we might think X is a mardy arse and then every post we see that confirms it strengthens our viewpoint but we discount the ones that don't if that makes sense?

Crystal clear, and I agree, nobody intimidates me here, maybe that's why we get seen as intimidating ourselves though.. ?

Intimidating is a strong word and isn’t a word I’d ever apply to someone on an online forum. Personally, to feel intimidated I’d have to be in a person’s physical presence. But I supposed you can think “they’re a bit of a dick” etc... Disclaimer - that wasn’t directed at anyone in particular

So I'm a dick now ..????

I *think* you’re joking. So I’m going to leave this here.......

You're offering me your heart, after that....???

Yes but shhhh before we get told off for flirting "

Ilu2 baby

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By *il_blue_rufusMan
over a year ago

motherwell

Ive been hanging about these parts for a while. Usually in the chat.

The forum is established and there are regular users. For me it seems like “how do I break into this group of people”

Fuck the social awkwardness haha

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I'm pretty new but don't find anyone intimidating. Helps that I'm a bolshie cow so rarely find anyone intimidating even in real life.

If there's a conversation that interests me I join in. Maybe my contribution is welcomed, maybe not, but I'm still going to make it!

If it's one of the "tell the person above..." or "who do you fancy" type threads I tend not to, because I don't know any of the regular crowd and they don't know me.

That's very different to finding any one person or group of people intimidating though.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"While not intimidating exactly, I will say sometimes I will go to post something and remember a few comments made by people in other similar threads etc and just think I can't be bothered with those kinds of things.

So I guess in a way it is intimidating but not from a fearful view point.

Yes, exactly the same for me. I’ll go to post and then think “ahhh fuck that, can’t be arsed with the fallout from it” because of a previous experience. That’s not feeling intimidated as such - probably more exasperated with it "

Yes, I get this a lot. It's not that I'm intimidated. It's just deliberate misreadings get tiring after some time. I think that people can be quite fixed in their opinion of another. I try and be more fluid and aware of the whole picture (fuck knows I can get it wrong though!).

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I'm pretty new but don't find anyone intimidating. Helps that I'm a bolshie cow so rarely find anyone intimidating even in real life.

If there's a conversation that interests me I join in. Maybe my contribution is welcomed, maybe not, but I'm still going to make it!

If it's one of the "tell the person above..." or "who do you fancy" type threads I tend not to, because I don't know any of the regular crowd and they don't know me.

That's very different to finding any one person or group of people intimidating though."

Well said x

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World


"Not so much intimidation, but I once dared to disagree with a really popular forum user. Turns out she didn’t want advice like she asked, she actually wanted white knights to save her. Well I was new to the forums and gave the best advice I could give her.

I got a fuck tone of abuse from her, all her white knights joined in, other forum users etc. So I stopped using the forums for a while (I had only just started using them).

When I came back I was so tentative whenever these forum users were active and I was pretty intimidated for a while.

"

I think this is the case for many newbies, plus they don't always understand the banter that the regulars throw about so don't tough it out but disappear.

If people gave them a bit more breathing room then more would post without fear of getting jumped on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Find alot of forumites on here try to be intimidating towards me sometimes even bordering hateful, maybe it's just me

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World


"I'm a wanker irl too

Jus kitten,I'm actually really mild mannered, caring and considerate, although I'm definitely a 'thinker'. For some reason ppl here apparently think I'm argumentative, outspoken, cocky, cheeky and confident. I've actually only just had a girl in the face pic Friday thread say that my face looks just like my forum persona of being confident and outspoken, and also a nobber! I'm still not quite clear on what a nobber is, but I'm taking it as a compliment, cockily.... "

Just googling Nobber....

Either a village in Rep. Ireland or a fool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"While not intimidating exactly, I will say sometimes I will go to post something and remember a few comments made by people in other similar threads etc and just think I can't be bothered with those kinds of things.

So I guess in a way it is intimidating but not from a fearful view point.

Yes, exactly the same for me. I’ll go to post and then think “ahhh fuck that, can’t be arsed with the fallout from it” because of a previous experience. That’s not feeling intimidated as such - probably more exasperated with it

Yes, I get this a lot. It's not that I'm intimidated. It's just deliberate misreadings get tiring after some time. I think that people can be quite fixed in their opinion of another. I try and be more fluid and aware of the whole picture (fuck knows I can get it wrong though!)."

Yes. Fixed opinions and repetitive debates with lots of generalisations and misreadings flying around... that can get tiring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a wanker irl too

Jus kitten,I'm actually really mild mannered, caring and considerate, although I'm definitely a 'thinker'. For some reason ppl here apparently think I'm argumentative, outspoken, cocky, cheeky and confident. I've actually only just had a girl in the face pic Friday thread say that my face looks just like my forum persona of being confident and outspoken, and also a nobber! I'm still not quite clear on what a nobber is, but I'm taking it as a compliment, cockily....

Just googling Nobber....

Either a village in Rep. Ireland or a fool

"

Everyone love a fool. Always look on the bright side

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Did the bricks arrive yet ? So we can build that room ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a wanker irl too

Jus kitten,I'm actually really mild mannered, caring and considerate, although I'm definitely a 'thinker'. For some reason ppl here apparently think I'm argumentative, outspoken, cocky, cheeky and confident. I've actually only just had a girl in the face pic Friday thread say that my face looks just like my forum persona of being confident and outspoken, and also a nobber! I'm still not quite clear on what a nobber is, but I'm taking it as a compliment, cockily....

Just googling Nobber....

Either a village in Rep. Ireland or a fool

Everyone love a fool. Always look on the bright side "

Loves*

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Did the bricks arrive yet ? So we can build that room ??"

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World


"I'm a wanker irl too

Jus kitten,I'm actually really mild mannered, caring and considerate, although I'm definitely a 'thinker'. For some reason ppl here apparently think I'm argumentative, outspoken, cocky, cheeky and confident. I've actually only just had a girl in the face pic Friday thread say that my face looks just like my forum persona of being confident and outspoken, and also a nobber! I'm still not quite clear on what a nobber is, but I'm taking it as a compliment, cockily....

Just googling Nobber....

Either a village in Rep. Ireland or a fool

Everyone love a fool. Always look on the bright side

Loves* "

So I think we have our answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a wanker irl too

Jus kitten,I'm actually really mild mannered, caring and considerate, although I'm definitely a 'thinker'. For some reason ppl here apparently think I'm argumentative, outspoken, cocky, cheeky and confident. I've actually only just had a girl in the face pic Friday thread say that my face looks just like my forum persona of being confident and outspoken, and also a nobber! I'm still not quite clear on what a nobber is, but I'm taking it as a compliment, cockily....

Just googling Nobber....

Either a village in Rep. Ireland or a fool

Everyone love a fool. Always look on the bright side

Loves*

So I think we have our answer "

Try to fight it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was having a conversation yesterday with a friend of mine from here and this subject came up in relevance to myself. Apparently I can come across quite abrupt and serious at times on here, something which those who know me really is not the case.

This got me thinking as to how the regular posters are perceived and whether this impression impacts on your/their ability to make connections and (heaven forbid) actually meet.

This is a bit of a multiple question then; when you were/if you are new, did the regular posters intimidate you? Do you feel that you do come across as intimidating? And, have you experienced any situations where the 'Forum you' affected meeting others.

Your thoughts folks... "

Some were and still are, some were but aren't now and some never have been, the forum me probably reduces my chances of meeting just as much as the general online me does, but nothing negativeley affects my chances of meeting quite like the real life me (or my face at least)

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X"

Utterly agree @loo roll puppy

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X"

Your very sweet x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X"

Must bd that face you're pulling with that cock up your arse

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X

Must bd that face you're pulling with that cock up your arse "

Possibly - but at forum socials I rarely have a cock up my arse tbh!

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X

Your very sweet x"

Thanks - so are you - and I like your threads!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X

Your very sweet x

Thanks - so are you - and I like your threads! "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X

Utterly agree @loo roll puppy "

Not andrex though! Way too expensive!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Most of my meets come from the rest of the site. People tell me what they think of me from those threads started and it runs a general theme

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"I doubt anybody is intimidated by me

I don't but I do sometimes want to give you a hug and wish you were a bit more positive about yourself."

Hugs would be lovely to be honest. Besides, one shouldn't laugh at others if they cant laugh at themselves.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I doubt anybody is intimidated by me

I don't but I do sometimes want to give you a hug and wish you were a bit more positive about yourself.

Hugs would be lovely to be honest. Besides, one shouldn't laugh at others if they cant laugh at themselves."

True but try to keep it light hearted

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X

Utterly agree @loo roll puppy

Not andrex though! Way too expensive! "

*asda shades puppy

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

We met a few regular forumites and ended up having fun with most of them.

Everyone we met was surprised at how easy going and liberal we were.

In real life I’m just a big softy, and swinging was always a joyful experience for us. No stress, no hassle, no strings, just an opportunity to click with the right people and have fun.

I guess my forum persona might make some people feel a bit intimidated by me. But the truth is quite the opposite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one cares about people being hateful to me cheers x

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I haven't felt intimidated by anyone on the forum, people are allowed to have differing opinions.

Some might be more forceful than others in stating their opinion, some are clearly idiots, others are trolls but most just come across as normal.

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X

Utterly agree @loo roll puppy

Not andrex though! Way too expensive!

*asda shades puppy"

We get ours from Aldi! It’s so rough it exfoliates your arse whilst you wipe!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm occasionally called intimidating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one cares about people being hateful to me cheers x"

Who is being hateful? I think you should report any hateful people to admin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one cares about people being hateful to me cheers x"

I like your shizzle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm occasionally called intimidating. "

Again, as with Meli, I find that baffling. To me, you come across as intelligent and respectful. And there’s a shortage of that around here imo...

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"I doubt anybody is intimidated by me

I don't but I do sometimes want to give you a hug and wish you were a bit more positive about yourself.

Hugs would be lovely to be honest. Besides, one shouldn't laugh at others if they cant laugh at themselves.

True but try to keep it light hearted "

I'll try but I cant promise anything

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"I'm occasionally called intimidating. "

I.am.quaking.in.my.boots

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one cares about people being hateful to me cheers x

Who is being hateful? I think you should report any hateful people to admin. "

I'd be reporting on majority of threads on here unfortunately and I ain't a grass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We met a few regular forumites and ended up having fun with most of them.

Everyone we met was surprised at how easy going and liberal we were.

In real life I’m just a big softy, and swinging was always a joyful experience for us. No stress, no hassle, no strings, just an opportunity to click with the right people and have fun.

I guess my forum persona might make some people feel a bit intimidated by me. But the truth is quite the opposite."

You always seemed easy going to me. Feisty but friendly.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I'm occasionally called intimidating.

Again, as with Meli, I find that baffling. To me, you come across as intelligent and respectful. And there’s a shortage of that around here imo... "

Yeah the rest of us share 3 brain cells between us and someone is hogging them at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op has also come across quite rude to me on occasions not hateful though tbf xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm occasionally called intimidating.

Again, as with Meli, I find that baffling. To me, you come across as intelligent and respectful. And there’s a shortage of that around here imo...

Yeah the rest of us share 3 brain cells between us and someone is hogging them at the moment."

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I wouldn't say I was intimidated by the regular posters. A couple were less than welcoming when I started posting so I tended to avoid their threads, not because I was intimidated, just because they'd been dickish to me so I didn't want to communicate with them at all.

I've never found you intimidating at all, and I really hope nobody has ever found me intimidating.

Your lovely x"

You are both lovely x

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X

Utterly agree @loo roll puppy

Not andrex though! Way too expensive!

*asda shades puppy

We get ours from Aldi! It’s so rough it exfoliates your arse whilst you wipe! "

Its a two in one then really!

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

TM you are lovely - I just think we change how we post / word things / stop pussyfooting around the longer we are on here.

When I was new & on my single profile I felt intimidated by everyone - even T!!! Which is quite funny looking back.

I just read the forums for about 6 weeks until I felt brave enough to say anything! And then it was on the nocturnal thread thinking it would be a quiet thread

J x

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"I'm occasionally called intimidating.

Again, as with Meli, I find that baffling. To me, you come across as intelligent and respectful. And there’s a shortage of that around here imo...

Yeah the rest of us share 3 brain cells between us and someone is hogging them at the moment."

I have a surplus if people are going wanting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this the new way to get compliments?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Op has also come across quite rude to me on occasions not hateful though tbf xx"

I think the word you're looking for is abrupt. It's how I react to most people who try to troll, which you have done on most of our encounters.

I also gave you considered and quite a lot of advice on several threads before.

Playing the victim isn't a good thing here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op has also come across quite rude to me on occasions not hateful though tbf xx

I think the word you're looking for is abrupt. It's how I react to most people who try to troll, which you have done on most of our encounters.

I also gave you considered and quite a lot of advice on several threads before.

Playing the victim isn't a good thing here. "

I think that response is rude tbh, fine line between abrupt and rude my friend

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Is this the new way to get compliments? "

Yeah, have a go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op has also come across quite rude to me on occasions not hateful though tbf xx

I think the word you're looking for is abrupt. It's how I react to most people who try to troll, which you have done on most of our encounters.

I also gave you considered and quite a lot of advice on several threads before.

Playing the victim isn't a good thing here.

I think that response is rude tbh, fine line between abrupt and rude my friend "

Op is one of the good ones, i think you may be a little over sensitive if you think his response is rude

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Op has also come across quite rude to me on occasions not hateful though tbf xx

I think the word you're looking for is abrupt. It's how I react to most people who try to troll, which you have done on most of our encounters.

I also gave you considered and quite a lot of advice on several threads before.

Playing the victim isn't a good thing here.

I think that response is rude tbh, fine line between abrupt and rude my friend "

So why are you winding him up he's honest not rude

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this the new way to get compliments?

Yeah, have a go."

Next time I'm desperate for a compliment, I will

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Op has also come across quite rude to me on occasions not hateful though tbf xx

I think the word you're looking for is abrupt. It's how I react to most people who try to troll, which you have done on most of our encounters.

I also gave you considered and quite a lot of advice on several threads before.

Playing the victim isn't a good thing here.

I think that response is rude tbh, fine line between abrupt and rude my friend

Op is one of the good ones, i think you may be a little over sensitive if you think his response is rude"

Don't bite guys.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Is this the new way to get compliments?

Yeah, have a go.

Next time I'm desperate for a compliment, I will "

Isn't everyone on here always desperate for compliments though?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op has also come across quite rude to me on occasions not hateful though tbf xx

I think the word you're looking for is abrupt. It's how I react to most people who try to troll, which you have done on most of our encounters.

I also gave you considered and quite a lot of advice on several threads before.

Playing the victim isn't a good thing here.

I think that response is rude tbh, fine line between abrupt and rude my friend

Op is one of the good ones, i think you may be a little over sensitive if you think his response is rude"

In your opinion. Not everyone sees everyone else in the same way. Just because you think he's a good guy doesn't make that anymore true than the other person finding him intimidating.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Op has also come across quite rude to me on occasions not hateful though tbf xx

I think the word you're looking for is abrupt. It's how I react to most people who try to troll, which you have done on most of our encounters.

I also gave you considered and quite a lot of advice on several threads before.

Playing the victim isn't a good thing here.

I think that response is rude tbh, fine line between abrupt and rude my friend "

It's being honest. How you paint my interaction with you is ignoring your part in any aspect.

I'm going to leave it there before you derail another thread.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously I'm not allowed to have the opinion that I find some of his replies rude it's just me trolling - sound

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op has also come across quite rude to me on occasions not hateful though tbf xx

I think the word you're looking for is abrupt. It's how I react to most people who try to troll, which you have done on most of our encounters.

I also gave you considered and quite a lot of advice on several threads before.

Playing the victim isn't a good thing here.

I think that response is rude tbh, fine line between abrupt and rude my friend

It's being honest. How you paint my interaction with you is ignoring your part in any aspect.

I'm going to leave it there before you derail another thread. "

Keep proving my point mate

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op has also come across quite rude to me on occasions not hateful though tbf xx

I think the word you're looking for is abrupt. It's how I react to most people who try to troll, which you have done on most of our encounters.

I also gave you considered and quite a lot of advice on several threads before.

Playing the victim isn't a good thing here.

I think that response is rude tbh, fine line between abrupt and rude my friend

Op is one of the good ones, i think you may be a little over sensitive if you think his response is rude

In your opinion. Not everyone sees everyone else in the same way. Just because you think he's a good guy doesn't make that anymore true than the other person finding him intimidating. "

Thats a fair point i should have put imo

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Obviously I'm not allowed to have the opinion that I find some of his replies rude it's just me trolling - sound "

You can have your opinion yes you can always but sometimes its not a joke.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was having a conversation yesterday with a friend of mine from here and this subject came up in relevance to myself. Apparently I can come across quite abrupt and serious at times on here, something which those who know me really is not the case.

This got me thinking as to how the regular posters are perceived and whether this impression impacts on your/their ability to make connections and (heaven forbid) actually meet.

This is a bit of a multiple question then; when you were/if you are new, did the regular posters intimidate you? Do you feel that you do come across as intimidating? And, have you experienced any situations where the 'Forum you' affected meeting others.

Your thoughts folks... "

I’ve spoke to you previously on different profiles and have commented on your threads, I’ve always found you very grounded and sane x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words "

And word are all i have... come on everybody sing along

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words

And word are all i have... come on everybody sing along "
don't know them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Op has also come across quite rude to me on occasions not hateful though tbf xx

I think the word you're looking for is abrupt. It's how I react to most people who try to troll, which you have done on most of our encounters.

I also gave you considered and quite a lot of advice on several threads before.

Playing the victim isn't a good thing here.

I think that response is rude tbh, fine line between abrupt and rude my friend

Op is one of the good ones, i think you may be a little over sensitive if you think his response is rude

In your opinion. Not everyone sees everyone else in the same way. Just because you think he's a good guy doesn't make that anymore true than the other person finding him intimidating. "

Perfectly put

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words

And word are all i have... come on everybody sing along don't know them "

Me either

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words

And word are all i have... come on everybody sing along don't know them "

Lies lies and more lies, everyone knows them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words

And word are all i have... come on everybody sing along don't know them

Lies lies and more lies, everyone knows them "

I don't.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words

And word are all i have... come on everybody sing along don't know them

Lies lies and more lies, everyone knows them

I don't."

Seriously? Is this a wind up? I genuinley thought that everybody had a d*unk relative that sang it on kareoke at family partys

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words

And word are all i have... come on everybody sing along don't know them

Lies lies and more lies, everyone knows them

I don't.

Seriously? Is this a wind up? I genuinley thought that everybody had a d*unk relative that sang it on kareoke at family partys"

That’s a blast from the past. Love a bit of Boyzone

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words

And word are all i have... come on everybody sing along don't know them

Lies lies and more lies, everyone knows them

I don't.

Seriously? Is this a wind up? I genuinley thought that everybody had a d*unk relative that sang it on kareoke at family partys"

Na

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I am not intimidated by any regular posters lol.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words

And word are all i have... come on everybody sing along don't know them

Lies lies and more lies, everyone knows them

I don't.

Seriously? Is this a wind up? I genuinley thought that everybody had a d*unk relative that sang it on kareoke at family partys

That’s a blast from the past. Love a bit of Boyzone "

See litterally everyone knows it, and all took was 1 other person to prove my point

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Intimidating? No. Fragile maybe. Desperate for acceptance? Almost certainly. Starved of attention? No, but the desperation for acceptance could make the mind think that way.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x"

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions "

Which can be false but preach.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach."

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach.

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums "

Your opinion I don't yearn for acceptance alot of men are friends its fun but thanks

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach.

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums

Your opinion I don't yearn for acceptance alot of men are friends its fun but thanks"

Exactly I could be completely wrong at least you agree with the confrontational bit

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach.

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums "

You start threads for confrontation and wind up folk I don't you come across as needy you and a few others but hey ho x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach.

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums

Your opinion I don't yearn for acceptance alot of men are friends its fun but thanks"

Nobody is ever nice without ulterior motives remember. Fab rules.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So on a thread asking about people's opinions on forum interactions, someone who has had a negative experience is told not to discuss it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach.

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums

Your opinion I don't yearn for acceptance alot of men are friends its fun but thanks

Nobody is ever nice without ulterior motives remember. Fab rules."

This I know

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I’m about as intimidating as an Andrex puppy - and those who know me would hopefully agree - but when I’ve met forumites for the first time at socials they seem to have the idea that I might be in some way intimidating!

I’ve really no idea how or why though - as I hope I come across as anything but that? X

Must bd that face you're pulling with that cock up your arse

Possibly - but at forum socials I rarely have a cock up my arse tbh! "

That's no fun

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach.

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums

You start threads for confrontation and wind up folk I don't you come across as needy you and a few others but hey ho x"

Completely agree bar looking for confrontation and winding people up , people just don't like what I say (truth)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach.

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums

You start threads for confrontation and wind up folk I don't you come across as needy you and a few others but hey ho x

Completely agree bar looking for confrontation and winding people up , people just don't like what I say (truth)"

I don't mind x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach.

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums "

Avoid

(Ooops, wrong thread.....)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first started posting on the forums I was totally intimidated by several regular people.

I was called stupid and pointless on my very first post, I was told on another that about clique "they don't exist but maybe if you try to fit in with the regular posters it will be better".

I very nearly gave up after 2 weeks but Jim and Ash and a couple of others where very welcoming.

Iv no real idea how I come across to people on here as opinion on me seems to be divided.

I'm definitely not posting or getting involved as much now as I can't be bothered with the negatively.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach.

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums

You start threads for confrontation and wind up folk I don't you come across as needy you and a few others but hey ho x

Completely agree bar looking for confrontation and winding people up , people just don't like what I say (truth)"

Your truth.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven’t felt intimidated by anybody.

It’s ok to disagree about things, and if it comes to it.... I love a good argument. I’ve never backed down from one in my life !!

One or two people have been a bit dickish ....but most are extremely friendly.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Hhhhmmmmm I couldn’t possibly imagine how I come across

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words

And word are all i have... come on everybody sing along don't know them

Lies lies and more lies, everyone knows them

I don't.

Seriously? Is this a wind up? I genuinley thought that everybody had a d*unk relative that sang it on kareoke at family partys

That’s a blast from the past. Love a bit of Boyzone "

Fleetwood Mac’s? Little lies?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales


"Hhhhmmmmm I couldn’t possibly imagine how I come across "

Very blokey

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much intimidation, but I once dared to disagree with a really popular forum user. Turns out she didn’t want advice like she asked, she actually wanted white knights to save her. Well I was new to the forums and gave the best advice I could give her.

I got a fuck tone of abuse from her, all her white knights joined in, other forum users etc. So I stopped using the forums for a while (I had only just started using them).

When I came back I was so tentative whenever these forum users were active and I was pretty intimidated for a while.

But yes Tea Monkey you’re a scary boy "

I had similar from a previous forumite, she had a way with words and twisting things

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"So on a thread asking about people's opinions on forum interactions, someone who has had a negative experience is told not to discuss it.

"

No, I just chose not to with someone who has an axe to grind.

The question was whether people think they can be intimidating and whether that affected meeting other people.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP .

I've never found your posts intimidating at all .. Very to the point and direct. Yes.. But never intimidated by you. The forums are meant for a bit of light hearted fun and to not be disrespectful to other people.. I try and always make others feel welcome. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea but life goes on and you can't please everyone.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I first started posting on the forums I was totally intimidated by several regular people.

I was called stupid and pointless on my very first post, I was told on another that about clique "they don't exist but maybe if you try to fit in with the regular posters it will be better".

I very nearly gave up after 2 weeks but Jim and Ash and a couple of others where very welcoming.

Iv no real idea how I come across to people on here as opinion on me seems to be divided.

I'm definitely not posting or getting involved as much now as I can't be bothered with the negatively. "

You are not the only one trust me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Intimidated by individuals? No. However sometimes the tone or direction of a thread will intimidate me and I will stay well out of it even if I think I have a valid point.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach.

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums

You start threads for confrontation and wind up folk I don't you come across as needy you and a few others but hey ho x

Completely agree bar looking for confrontation and winding people up , people just don't like what I say (truth)

Your truth."

Yes which I get alot of people agree with

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never get intimidated by anyone on the forums , It's only words

And word are all i have... come on everybody sing along don't know them

Lies lies and more lies, everyone knows them

I don't.

Seriously? Is this a wind up? I genuinley thought that everybody had a d*unk relative that sang it on kareoke at family partys

That’s a blast from the past. Love a bit of Boyzone

Fleetwood Mac’s? Little lies?"

Ohh hang on... I thought it was Words by Boyzone haha. I’m a huge Fleetwood Mac fan - can’t say I recognised the lyrics from Little Lies ....?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Intimidated by individuals? No. However sometimes the tone or direction of a thread will intimidate me and I will stay well out of it even if I think I have a valid point. "

I think the first two or three posts normally set the tone for the whole thread.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have made quite a lot of judgements on people off forum use tbh, if you would like to hear what I think I'm happy to engage x

Btw could be completely wrong just going off online interactions

Which can be false but preach.

Well transgirl I find you confrontational, like to compliment alot of men on here and yearn for acceptance on the forums

You start threads for confrontation and wind up folk I don't you come across as needy you and a few others but hey ho x

Completely agree bar looking for confrontation and winding people up , people just don't like what I say (truth)

Your truth.

Yes which I get alot of people agree with "

Also I am not talking about my opinions on this subject I am talking about things that go on in the forum not what I think of people

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"Hhhhmmmmm I couldn’t possibly imagine how I come across

Very blokey "

I’ll take that

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have formed opinions based on some people’s forum posts....

I think that’s only natural.

Some people are downright unfriendly, some who regularly post on the forums obviously know each other/ are friends/ may have met, and do occasionally seem reluctant to give newer members a chance to voice their opinions....

But the forums are a platform for everybody. We all have a right to be here. Forums are absolutely not for an exclusive few. Nobody should feel intimidated.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"Hhhhmmmmm I couldn’t possibly imagine how I come across

Very blokey

I’ll take that "

Even with your balloons

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I've never been intimidated by anyone on here, but I have been put off interacting with some people because I don't like their posts on here.

I don't think I post enough for people to have much of an opinion about me, but I don't really think about it or particularly care - we can't be everyone's cup of tea, some people will like you and some won't, that's life.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With a name like Tea Monkey?? Hiw can anyone take you seriously???

Seriously tho...why you folks so serious?

Maybe you got a big cock that your flashing around doing windmills and bitch slapping the ladies into submission??

Can anyone verify this allegation??

Now stop monkeying around and get into the jungle bitches!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"Hhhhmmmmm I couldn’t possibly imagine how I come across

Very blokey

I’ll take that

Even with your balloons "

Hey, leave my bussoms out of it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never felt intimidated by anyone or anything on the internet. I know people find me intimidating in person, and I try to work on that.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you feel that you do come across as intimidating? And, have you experienced any situations where the 'Forum you' affected meeting others.

"

I dont think i come across as intimidating, I doubt I come across as overly friendly or approachable though!!

I think forum me only tends to deter people that I probably wouldn't have any interest in anyway

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never felt intimidated by anyone or anything on the internet. I know people find me intimidating in person, and I try to work on that....."

This is what I was getting at before. Intimidating for me requires a physical presence. Never felt that over the Internet. But I appreciate we’re all different

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So on a thread asking about people's opinions on forum interactions, someone who has had a negative experience is told not to discuss it.

No, I just chose not to with someone who has an axe to grind.

The question was whether people think they can be intimidating and whether that affected meeting other people. "

I meant in general, not just you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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