FabSwingers.com forum: Walk away...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My first post in the lounge dear fabbers, you all seem a lovely philosophical (and sexy) lot. Recent pub debate with friends on how to deal with angry folk, this sums up my take.

"Some people always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away. the battle they are fighting is not with you, it is with themselves."

Some thought confronting the issue was best... What's your thoughts dear fabsters???

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Really depends on the issue and the person, surely.

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By *ocratesrocksMan
over a year ago

school of long licks

I hate confrontation, so I would just walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always best to avoid the angry type life is just too short.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to choose my battles. It depends on a lot of factors. I have zero trouble speaking my mind, but I always ask myself if this is a person I can reason with or if it will be a moot point where it becomes about having the last say or trying to win an argument.

I have no interest in that and have no trouble walking away unless this concerns people I love or care about. Then I will turn the world on it’s head if needs be.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Welcome

All depends on the person and the issue. Some people’s anger, frustrations and them voicing it is sometimes a call for help

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By *awk90Man
over a year ago

Amsterdam

It is always best to be kind, so in a situation like that I'd say walking away is the kindest, if one feels one can't keep one's head.

I sometimes get angry, but I'd rather walk away than last out

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Depends. It always depends on the situation and what exactly the confrontation is about.

Majority of the time I'd agree, however in some cases the "angry" person needs to be corrected and knocked down and put in their place, if they are wrong. I don't mean physically.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends. It always depends on the situation and what exactly the confrontation is about.

Majority of the time I'd agree, however in some cases the "angry" person needs to be corrected and knocked down and put in their place, if they are wrong. I don't mean physically. "

I was going to say exactly that. I've no interest in bickering so usually I'd walk away but sometimes, when it's more important, you have to stand your ground.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends. It always depends on the situation and what exactly the confrontation is about.

Majority of the time I'd agree, however in some cases the "angry" person needs to be corrected and knocked down and put in their place, if they are wrong. I don't mean physically. "

This was the gist of the two sides of how it should be dealt with. I guess you have all summed it up well. I kinda feel it's attention seeking and reacting feeds it so it's win win for the "angry person" but yes it's all in the precise situation of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Welcome

All depends on the person and the issue. Some people’s anger, frustrations and them voicing it is sometimes a call for help "

Good point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends if it matters to you, or whether there's a benefit in it for you or someone else, or whether you can win or change anything for the better...

Negative spirals are best left well alone imho....

(and welcome OP

)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends. It always depends on the situation and what exactly the confrontation is about.

Majority of the time I'd agree, however in some cases the "angry" person needs to be corrected and knocked down and put in their place, if they are wrong. I don't mean physically.

I was going to say exactly that. I've no interest in bickering so usually I'd walk away but sometimes, when it's more important, you have to stand your ground. "

Yes agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit hard to generalise without details(states obvious).

But...my behaviour affects your behaviour and vice versa. I find asking if everything is ok defuses it a bit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends if it matters to you, or whether there's a benefit in it for you or someone else, or whether you can win or change anything for the better...

Negative spirals are best left well alone imho....

(and welcome OP

Very well said Mr Nippy and thank ya

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Welcome

All depends on the person and the issue. Some people’s anger, frustrations and them voicing it is sometimes a call for help

Good point "

I think so too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bit hard to generalise without details(states obvious).

But...my behaviour affects your behaviour and vice versa. I find asking if everything is ok defuses it a bit. "

Yes approach is everything too- an aggressive stance usually evokes a similar response- perhaps as you say how you respond to anger can defuse it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s nothing like a good cup of tea to pacify the irate. And if it doesnt throw in a biscuit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends if it matters to you, or whether there's a benefit in it for you or someone else, or whether you can win or change anything for the better...

Negative spirals are best left well alone imho....

(and welcome OP

)

Very well said Mr Nippy and thank ya

And you're so polite too....!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There’s nothing like a good cup of tea to pacify the irate. And if it doesnt throw in a biscuit.

Ohhh but what kind of biscuit

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends if it matters to you, or whether there's a benefit in it for you or someone else, or whether you can win or change anything for the better...

Negative spirals are best left well alone imho....

(and welcome OP

)

Very well said Mr Nippy and thank ya

And you're so polite too....!

I was brought up proper yanno

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is for the irate person to decide. It should pose as a calming technique as it will take their mind off what is causing the irritation.

What would yours be?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That is for the irate person to decide. It should pose as a calming technique as it will take their mind off what is causing the irritation.

What would yours be?"

In the situation discussed (specific I know) I would have viewed the anger as attention seeking so I wouldn't respond to it at all. Had I been forced into reply I would have asked them why they were angry and discuss it. Easy to say not easy to do

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

It depends on a lot of factors. I hate confrontation so my instinct is to walk away. However, if somebody has pissed me off and after consideration I am absolutely certain my position is correct then I will answer back and not let them get away with it. Luke

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

As others have said; it depends entirely on the situation, circumstances and what's being said. It also depends on my mood too.

I also find these theoretical situations interesting as often people behave in a contrary fashion to that which they claim

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Ask them a question they'd have to think about.

It distracts them from what they're angry about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just punch them right in the pisser.

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