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Finding that chemistry

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By *rMrs322 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Sandy

Just throwing it out there...

We are both very social people that thrive in social environments but we struggle with the content of our first message.

We read the profiles and personalise our message and also add abit about us but they are often read and left or read and deleted.

We get messages of one line or simply just 'hey' and think do they get replies?!

What are you views on the first message?

S&D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put some effort into my messages and try to personalise them so it's clear they're not cookie-cutter.

But still as often as not they're ignored or not responded to. Of course, being a single male, I'm probably as often as not in the bulk delete too so, the few responses are truly appreciated. Even the polite "no thank you"s.

But I also think your opening statement rings true. You thrive in social environments, but sending a message is literally just you alone. You don't even have the other person (yet). So it makes sense it'd be difficult.

Do you ever do anything with the one-liners?

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By *rMrs322 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Sandy

They are often from couples, which we aren't looking for at the moment. Sometimes we will respond to see if we can chat and learn more about this scene but it's like some just don't have any personality.

It feels like we waste our time when we reply as if we would in a social environment but get a one word response despite any questions or comments we add.

Do people do FAB socials apart from clubs?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't answer the socials bit, but it sounds like you'd be better off anyway. If they can't be bothered to make an effort to interact then they're probably not going to be very much fun in person either.

From what I've seen in the forums it's the whole "diamond in the rough" thing. There's a lot of cruft you have to go through before you find someone you'll click with.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

The thing is OP you are looking for that rarest of things - a single female looking to meet a couple - they're called unicorns for a reason.

I'd give the same advice to you as anyone struggling to find what they want - take a look at your profile first and make sure it's enticing and shows you off in a good light, covers who you are and what you are looking for, as well as what you think you can offer - give it some personality and don't make it all about what *you* want. Make sure you have pictures that show *both* of you off well and not predominantly the lady. It's a common mistake couples make, they have limited pics of the male half and lots of the lady which, if you're trying to attract someone to meet both of you, doesn't make sense.

The reason for getting your profile right is people will often look at that before even considering opening a message, so if it doesn't appeal then you're likely to be ignored/deleted.

I'd also give consideration to other methods of meeting people - group socials are good, or clubs, gives you a chance to use your social skills in person rather than just sending messages.

There is no magic formula when it comes to messages though - what works for one person may not work for the next - try and tailor them to the recipient though and avoid sex talk until you have established a connection.

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