FabSwingers.com forum: Controllers

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is there anything we can do if we think the M is controlling the situation, we're sure the F had a good time but she doesn't get to see our messages & we want to meet them again?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

not really, how they use their profile is up to them

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

"Is there anything we can do if we think the M is controlling the situation, we're sure the F had a good time but she doesn't get to see our messages & we want to meet them again?

Maybe you didn't make the male as welcome as you did the fem so he`s not keen on repeating the meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is there anything we can do if we think the M is controlling the situation, we're sure the F had a good time but she doesn't get to see our messages & we want to meet them again?

Maybe you didn't make the male as welcome as you did the fem so he`s not keen on repeating the meet "

Our F spent virtually the whole evening with their M with no holds barred. He couldn't have been made more welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You seem to be suggesting that the male half of the couple doesn't want to meet you again, you say you believe she enjoyed which implies maybe he didn't.

Do you really expect his wife to overrule him or maybe exclude him in some way or worst still go behind his back?

If he didn't enjoy the meet it's unlikely this couple will potentially damage their relationship just for her to meet you again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I very much doubt it, you could try and get the girls talking to each other I suppose. If there's still hurdles in the way then you'll just have to chalk it up to experience, and if the girls do talk they'll have to be diplomatic about it or it could go down the swanee rapidly.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walk away from the situation.

If there are any problems their end maybe its best to let them sort it out.

If you both have doubts about the meet then chalk it up to experience and move on.

If in doubt, leave it out, that's our motto and seems to work for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move on.

Find another couple.

You cannot substantiate your assumptions that someone is controlling within this particular relationship.

If someone is, it is a dynamic for that couple to resolve, not you.

Irregardless of any assumed control, one or more of the parties involved evidently doesn't wish to respond to messages and therefore (I assume), doesn't wish to meet again.

Don't hold on to branches over water, cos invariably you end up getting your feet wet

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Why would you want to cause trouble in their relationship. Move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be totally honest and upfront with him and ask if there's a problem - then you will know the score . It's always the male here that responds etc too but female has input too - different couples have their own way of doing this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our F spent virtually the whole evening with their M with no holds barred. He couldn't have been made more welcome"

Maybe the female didn't enjoy it as much as you believe and she's directing her other half!

If they're now rejecting you, there's nothing you can do about it.

Plenty other fish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're definitely not going to want to contact or meet you now you've slagged them off in public.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the input guys. We are quite new to this and it doesn't do much for the confidence. Still, like you say, pleanty more fish lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They're definitely not going to want to contact or meet you now you've slagged them off in public. "

Not slagging anyone off, just asked advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've clearly asked to meet them again and the answer is no. You should see how many I get

Don't take it personally, just move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some couples only like to meet people once.. then move on.. it often has nothing to do with how good a time was had.. its just how they like to play.

Cali

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

"They're definitely not going to want to contact or meet you now you've slagged them off in public.

Not slagging anyone off, just asked advice. "

Maybe it's because you only softswing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my experience, profiles are mainly controlled by the M. Read the profiles, M lead profiles and wants are different to F lead ones...

Of course there are a few by the F

My view and happy to keep it

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"You seem to be suggesting that the male half of the couple doesn't want to meet you again, you say you believe she enjoyed which implies maybe he didn't.

Do you really expect his wife to overrule him or maybe exclude him in some way or worst still go behind his back?

If he didn't enjoy the meet it's unlikely this couple will potentially damage their relationship just for her to meet you again. "

My thoughts exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're definitely not going to want to contact or meet you now you've slagged them off in public.

Not slagging anyone off, just asked advice.

Maybe it's because you only softswing "

i thought they said it was "no holes barred" lol

seriously guys, its does not matter why or what the reason is, the first and only rule of swinging is that no means no.

If you are unable to accept that for whatever reason they or even one of them does not want to repeat the experience, then i think you are not cut out for this hobby.

If my husband had turned a couple down and they then tried to play us off against each other by getting me to say yes, then they would be getting a piece of my mind rather than a piece of the action!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For goodness sake this question sounds completely wrong. They should be left to decide themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If one of didn't want to meet again that's what would happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If one of didn't want to meet again that's what would happen "

same here

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

seems there are some controllers on these forums the spite that comes accross in the replies

dont tell me you have never been a bit confused s to why some havent anted to meet yo again? all the OP is trying to do is get some advice yet they get accused of slagging people off and warned off of swinging because they dared to ask for advice.

OP, it can be confusing on here when yo think a meet went well but then get no response after but its what happens so just chalk it up to experience and move on to the next one, i hope you have fun on here after all this is what the site is about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"seems there are some controllers on these forums the spite that comes accross in the replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"seems there are some controllers on these forums the spite that comes accross in the replies

they were asking what they could DO to get to meet the couple again, not having a general whinge about people losing interest.

they actively wanted to take action to get the fem of the couple in question to meet them, despite already being told no by the male.

TOO right people are going to warn them off this.

Maybe as a single it does not impact on you so you see it differently, but if either of us had said no to a mmeet or remeet, we would ver VERY unhappy with people trying to undermine our relationship by getting the other one to agree to a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not controlling by giving an honesty reply. We as a couple have meet individuals that one of us has found ok and the other has not. We won't meet again. This hobby is no way more important than our relationship. We are not in love with our friends on FAB.. If an indivual tried to contact or arrange a meeting with one of us that would be the end of the contact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not controlling by giving an honesty reply. We as a couple have meet individuals that one of us has found ok and the other has not. We won't meet again. This hobby is no way more important than our relationship. We are not in love with our friends on FAB.. If an indivual tried to contact or arrange a meeting with one of us that would be the end of the contact."

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

an honest reply doesnt have to have the 'for goodness sake' 'why are you slagging people off' slant on things.

just say how you would deal with the situation.

maybe being single does change my outlook but my advice has been the same as others, accept and move on so my single status hasnt skewed things that much.

i can see how it might be defined as undermining a relationship by them wanting to speak to the fem to see if they change their mind but dont understand the anger, surely just irmly pointing out the answer remains the same, block and move on is healthier?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Is there anything we can do if we think the M is controlling the situation, we're sure the F had a good time but she doesn't get to see our messages & we want to meet them again?

You are doing a lot of assuming about someone elses relationship.

I wouldn't ever dream of meeting someone again if the OH wasn't happy even if I thought the meet was good and I think a lot of swinging couples think the same way as why would you upset your OH just for sex?

I do think you need to accept that not everyone will meet you a second time without trying to insult others for doing so...and I would say accusing the male half of controlling is an insult.

As others have said, you had a good one off meet, move on to the next one.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"You seem to be suggesting that the male half of the couple doesn't want to meet you again, you say you believe she enjoyed which implies maybe he didn't.

Do you really expect his wife to overrule him or maybe exclude him in some way or worst still go behind his back?

If he didn't enjoy the meet it's unlikely this couple will potentially damage their relationship just for her to meet you again. "

That would have saved me typing if I had read this first

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"seems there are some controllers on these forums the spite that comes accross in the replies

I am guessing some must have been taken off before I got here, as the ones left are not how you describe.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Is there anything we can do if we think the M is controlling the situation, we're sure the F had a good time but she doesn't get to see our messages & we want to meet them again?

Don't mean this to sound harsh but just because you want to meet them again, doesn't mean they want a repeat. (Even if they both had a good evening)

How do you know it's him 'controlling' the situation, you are only assuming that's the case.

My advice would be chalk it up to experience and move on. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"seems there are some controllers on these forums the spite that comes accross in the replies

Thank you

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

"In my experience, profiles are mainly controlled by the M. Read the profiles, M lead profiles and wants are different to F lead ones...

Of course there are a few by the F

My view and happy to keep it

ours are deffo Mrs New lead.

With regards to the OP, some people have different swinging personas than in real life

They let you see what they want to see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some couples only like to meet people once.. then move on.. it often has nothing to do with how good a time was had.. its just how they like to play.

Cali "

Us included !!!!

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