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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone got any good jokes?

I’ve got a cock like a Chinese firework....

It keeps going off in my hand

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Two pieces of tarmac are sat in the pub when another walks in.

The first piece says to the second piece “ I wouldn’t go near him, he’s a cycle path”

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken came in another box.

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Smartie and Humbug are having a drink when Tune walks in. Humbug mutters to Smartie "don't go near him, he's menthol"

By *-sas-sinWoman
over a year ago

Arse end of the universe

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.

Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea."

He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.

Shamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!"

Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me."

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

Shamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan, Cheers!"

They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth."

The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more d*unk, all for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm d*unk and me knees are killin'me!"

Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"

By *each loverMan
over a year ago

Fun town

I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep - that's got to be the ultimate rejection.

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You would get more of a response if your thread was titled 'send a joke to the person above'.

By *each loverMan
over a year ago

Fun town

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls me 'HANDSOME', i wont take it as a compliment!