FabSwingers.com forum: How do you resolve the Love-hate conflict?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You know what I mean: you love with your heart and hate with your head. The head is pragmatic and tells you why someone is no good for you and then the heart pipes up with a "but..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get busy everytime. Too much time in ones head isnt good.

Work, walk, do a hobby, run, ride a bike...anything and eventually all that stuff is an afterthought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know what I mean: you love with your heart and hate with your head. The head is pragmatic and tells you why someone is no good for you and then the heart pipes up with a "but..." "

I don't know your situation of course but I'd say everyone deserves a second chance... if they abuse that then don't be a doormat and use your head not your heart X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Get busy everytime. Too much time in ones head isnt good.

Work, walk, do a hobby, run, ride a bike...anything and eventually all that stuff is an afterthought. "

Totally agree with first paragraph as that's where I'm at.

Sadly, physical activity is limited due to a near fatal infection earlier this year.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You know what I mean: you love with your heart and hate with your head. The head is pragmatic and tells you why someone is no good for you and then the heart pipes up with a "but..."

I don't know your situation of course but I'd say everyone deserves a second chance... if they abuse that then don't be a doormat and use your head not your heart X

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Good to see you back!

I'm sorry to hear about your illness though. I hope you're on the mend.

Regarding your OP; it's a difficult one, head and heart can often pull in two directions and are often contrary, the only advice that I can offer is to try and listen to your head. Being pragmatic is often the better path, even if it can be hard and painful at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lists. Think through and write down the really concrete ways that (s)he is bad for you. Enlist your friends to help.

Then write down the much shorter list of why you want him/her.

Reread. Process and take up knitting.

Repetitive hand eye activity is good for mental processing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And P.S. welcome back! I used to enjoy your forum contributions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good to see you back!

I'm sorry to hear about your illness though. I hope you're on the mend.

Thank you.

Recovery can take up to 3 years and hopefully with not too many lasting effects.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And P.S. welcome back! I used to enjoy your forum contributions."

My first smile today, thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lists. Think through and write down the really concrete ways that (s)he is bad for you. Enlist your friends to help.

Then write down the much shorter list of why you want him/her.

Reread. Process and take up knitting.

Repetitive hand eye activity is good for mental processing."

It is an incredibly short "pros" list.

I haven't knitted in over 20 years.

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