FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

What does ‘curvy’ mean?

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Morning all

I’ve been inspired to think more about this recently after being involved in discussions on a couple of other threads. I’m not necessarily looking for a definitive answer to this question title, as I’m aware that many will say “define it however you like” etc. I was more hoping for a bit of discussion on the issues this brings up.

On one particular thread, a man asked for women to comment if they identify themselves as any of the words ‘bbw/thick/curvy”. I commented yes I see myself as curvy. I was told by another user that I wasn’t essentially because I’m slim. However, I class myself as curvy because I have 36C breasts and what I’m *told* is a nice shapely bum (I’m also not looking for comments on my body shape)... is curvy not a shape; or on Fab does it refer to size?

On another thread, a man of a larger lady commented “slim women don’t have as many problems”. Oh, how I wish this were true! I think he was referring to body hang ups and insecurities. But for a woman who was bullied at high school for being “flat chested” and “anorexic” (I didn’t have an eating disorder - this is the name cruel people chose because I was naturally very slim); I find this an absurd suggestion. I’m obviously having the last laugh now - but, these experiences are very much still there for me psychologically at times. So to assume that slim equals free of insecurity, I feel, is ridiculous.

My point here is... on the first thread, it felt almost excluding (i.e. sorry you’re not curvy enough to be here - if anyone told a larger lady “you’re not slim enough to be on this thread” there would outrage I’m sure!); and in the 2nd example, it feels as though people assume slim people are somehow privileged in terms of better mental health and fewer body hang ups. It would be lovely if people didn’t apply these blanket generalisations, wouldn’t it?

There isn’t a specific question to be answered I don’t think; just some general musings ....

Happy Monday all

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Curvy is a shape and can be any size ... it is when the waist is noticeably smaller than the top and bottom ie an hourglass or a pear shape

You can be a size 8, 18 or bigger and anything in between but should always have a noticeable waist

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Curvy is a shape and can be any size ... it is when the waist is noticeably smaller than the top and bottom ie an hourglass or a pear shape

You can be a size 8, 18 or bigger and anything in between but should always have a noticeable waist "

I always thought it referred to shape rather than size too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People use it now it mean a larger lady which, isn't incorrect as there are more curves lol but lots of larger ladies don't necessarily have waists either!

Personally I'm not curvy as don't have a waist more an athletic shape but guys say all the time I'm curvy because I have boobs and a bottom hahahahahahahaha

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op I would say you were curvy and slim. You have boobs a smaller waist hip ratio

Bbw some can just be big and not curvy in my eyes so I’d say curvy isn’t just because your big or overweight.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say your curvy too LJ

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People use it now it mean a larger lady which, isn't incorrect as there are more curves lol but lots of larger ladies don't necessarily have waists either!

Personally I'm not curvy as don't have a waist more an athletic shape but guys say all the time I'm curvy because I have boobs and a bottom hahahahahahahaha "

Just what I was trying to say

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rolicerMan
over a year ago

Abergele

Curvy should have a waist.

Ample, has no waist and waist is bigger than hips

BBW, could be curvy or ample depending on the hight.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People use it now it mean a larger lady which, isn't incorrect as there are more curves lol but lots of larger ladies don't necessarily have waists either!

Personally I'm not curvy as don't have a waist more an athletic shape but guys say all the time I'm curvy because I have boobs and a bottom hahahahahahahaha

Just what I was trying to say "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very subjective isn't it because everyone has a different idea of what curvy is. For me, curvy is hourglass with a small waist and wide hips. If someone on here had a small waist and wide hips but then had a small bum and small boobs I would still describe them as curvy!

I'd say from looking at your pictures you're slim with boobs and a bum. I wouldn't say curvy though. But please don't take that personally because it's not meant as an insult! I'd love a body like yours.

I have seen so many people assume that slim people have it easy and have no body hangups, but they are very naive to believe that and it isn't worth listening to those kind of comments. It doesn't matter what size you are, you can still be unhappy with how you look.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for your kind comments

I’m honestly not looking for an answer to my body shape specifically, though. I was just reflecting on some of the issues being slim comes with on a site like this. For example, judgement that you automatically “have it easier” and have no hang ups. Or that it’s Ok to say “sorry too don’t fit in here; not curvy enough”. If you said the opposite that to a larger lady, there’d be outrage wouldn’t there.

Just interested to think about these issues and where they come from...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ngels of Sin 69Couple
over a year ago

High Wycombe


"Curvy is a shape and can be any size ... it is when the waist is noticeably smaller than the top and bottom ie an hourglass or a pear shape

You can be a size 8, 18 or bigger and anything in between but should always have a noticeable waist "

This is perfect and couldnt have said it better myself H x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's very subjective isn't it because everyone has a different idea of what curvy is. For me, curvy is hourglass with a small waist and wide hips. If someone on here had a small waist and wide hips but then had a small bum and small boobs I would still describe them as curvy!

I'd say from looking at your pictures you're slim with boobs and a bum. I wouldn't say curvy though. But please don't take that personally because it's not meant as an insult! I'd love a body like yours.

I have seen so many people assume that slim people have it easy and have no body hangups, but they are very naive to believe that and it isn't worth listening to those kind of comments. It doesn't matter what size you are, you can still be unhappy with how you look. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

I feel that anyone of any size can be curvy. Curvy isn’t a size after all

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you for your kind comments

I’m honestly not looking for an answer to my body shape specifically, though. I was just reflecting on some of the issues being slim comes with on a site like this. For example, judgement that you automatically “have it easier” and have no hang ups. Or that it’s Ok to say “sorry too don’t fit in here; not curvy enough”. If you said the opposite that to a larger lady, there’d be outrage wouldn’t there.

Just interested to think about these issues and where they come from... "

I’ve been size 8 and curvy and I’m now a 12-14 and wobbly. Both sizes I felt insecure naked.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Morning all

I’ve been inspired to think more about this recently after being involved in discussions on a couple of other threads. I’m not necessarily looking for a definitive answer to this question title, as I’m aware that many will say “define it however you like” etc. I was more hoping for a bit of discussion on the issues this brings up.

On one particular thread, a man asked for women to comment if they identify themselves as any of the words ‘bbw/thick/curvy”. I commented yes I see myself as curvy. I was told by another user that I wasn’t essentially because I’m slim. However, I class myself as curvy because I have 36C breasts and what I’m *told* is a nice shapely bum (I’m also not looking for comments on my body shape)... is curvy not a shape; or on Fab does it refer to size?

On another thread, a man of a larger lady commented “slim women don’t have as many problems”. Oh, how I wish this were true! I think he was referring to body hang ups and insecurities. But for a woman who was bullied at high school for being “flat chested” and “anorexic” (I didn’t have an eating disorder - this is the name cruel people chose because I was naturally very slim); I find this an absurd suggestion. I’m obviously having the last laugh now - but, these experiences are very much still there for me psychologically at times. So to assume that slim equals free of insecurity, I feel, is ridiculous.

My point here is... on the first thread, it felt almost excluding (i.e. sorry you’re not curvy enough to be here - if anyone told a larger lady “you’re not slim enough to be on this thread” there would outrage I’m sure!); and in the 2nd example, it feels as though people assume slim people are somehow privileged in terms of better mental health and fewer body hang ups. It would be lovely if people didn’t apply these blanket generalisations, wouldn’t it?

There isn’t a specific question to be answered I don’t think; just some general musings ....

Happy Monday all "

As I said on the other thread, I’ve had abusive messages telling me I’m not curvy and I’m insulting ‘real curvy’ ladies

It’s pathetic that someone would go out of their way to send message purely to get a reaction or to make them feel shitty about themselves ... they got neither from me

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All women are curvy curvy is a shape, not size.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Curvy means the figure looking somewhat like an 8

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No comments!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Morning all

I’ve been inspired to think more about this recently after being involved in discussions on a couple of other threads. I’m not necessarily looking for a definitive answer to this question title, as I’m aware that many will say “define it however you like” etc. I was more hoping for a bit of discussion on the issues this brings up.

On one particular thread, a man asked for women to comment if they identify themselves as any of the words ‘bbw/thick/curvy”. I commented yes I see myself as curvy. I was told by another user that I wasn’t essentially because I’m slim. However, I class myself as curvy because I have 36C breasts and what I’m *told* is a nice shapely bum (I’m also not looking for comments on my body shape)... is curvy not a shape; or on Fab does it refer to size?

On another thread, a man of a larger lady commented “slim women don’t have as many problems”. Oh, how I wish this were true! I think he was referring to body hang ups and insecurities. But for a woman who was bullied at high school for being “flat chested” and “anorexic” (I didn’t have an eating disorder - this is the name cruel people chose because I was naturally very slim); I find this an absurd suggestion. I’m obviously having the last laugh now - but, these experiences are very much still there for me psychologically at times. So to assume that slim equals free of insecurity, I feel, is ridiculous.

My point here is... on the first thread, it felt almost excluding (i.e. sorry you’re not curvy enough to be here - if anyone told a larger lady “you’re not slim enough to be on this thread” there would outrage I’m sure!); and in the 2nd example, it feels as though people assume slim people are somehow privileged in terms of better mental health and fewer body hang ups. It would be lovely if people didn’t apply these blanket generalisations, wouldn’t it?

There isn’t a specific question to be answered I don’t think; just some general musings ....

Happy Monday all

As I said on the other thread, I’ve had abusive messages telling me I’m not curvy and I’m insulting ‘real curvy’ ladies

It’s pathetic that someone would go out of their way to send message purely to get a reaction or to make them feel shitty about themselves ... they got neither from me "

Abuse because you class yourself as curvy? I’m literally speechless

This is why I posted this thread. Where does it come from, the right to exclude / abuse slimmer women who describe themselves as curvy? Why is it OK that way round? How are we suddenly immune to psychological hang ups (or indeed feelings) based on a lower BMI? It saddens me...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like most have said curvy is a shape not a size just depends who appreciates the shape, I could go and say I’m curvy hahah, lots of

Labels these days, but I would agree that your curvy OP and mighty gorgeous at that

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any size can be curvy it's a shape. But curvy to me is a lot smaller waist than hips. I have big friends who are not curvy as they don't have that definition. I have very slim friends who do. I class myself as fat but curvy as my waist is a lot lol smaller than my hips and I have that curve

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

....I think body type classifications are for the insecure, or ppl struggling with self identity on a bigger scale or those who cant think past visuals or for ppl trying to over compensate for something missing in another area....

I think the very nature of the forum is to create insecurity because it's all visual pictures and one way texts. I was talking to an old friend the other night on pm and I had a thread running at the same time, and for no apparent reason my friend (who wasn't involved on my thread) just blurted out "that Lucie has a totally gorgeous body!" So I reply "yes she does doesn't she, what made you say that?"......

My friend isn't the type to compliment other women on their appearance in a positive way - insecurity innit, all self perpetuated sadly.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thank you for your kind comments

I’m honestly not looking for an answer to my body shape specifically, though. I was just reflecting on some of the issues being slim comes with on a site like this. For example, judgement that you automatically “have it easier” and have no hang ups. Or that it’s Ok to say “sorry too don’t fit in here; not curvy enough”. If you said the opposite that to a larger lady, there’d be outrage wouldn’t there.

Just interested to think about these issues and where they come from...

I’ve been size 8 and curvy and I’m now a 12-14 and wobbly. Both sizes I felt insecure naked. "

I get this. I’m a size 8 and toned; yet I feel insecure naked too at times. Slim does not equal perfectly body confident. Not always, anyway...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My body type is Nippy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rufinWoman
over a year ago

notts

I always thought curvy was the shape - I used to be hourglass (your shape, op, boobs 34D) and now am full hourglass (boobs are 34H, bum is erm big) - so I put curvy but I wouldn't say I was fat (prob a bit overweight but its mostly settled on my tits)

I have been rejected on another site before exchanging pics for being too fat, because I used 'curvy'. Fair enough if you like slim, which I am not, but I was just a bit taken aback that curvy was considered code for fat.

I am actually voluptuous

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think as people most of us are never happy with what we've got.i think I'm curvy I have a large bum with big hips and big boobs and a smaller waist,but like others have said curvy is a shape..ie pear shape .Some people that call themselves curvy are more of an apple shape .but whatever you call yourself you shouldn't be getting abuse for it ..lots of jealous people in life I'm afraid .

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

So to clarify; the thread isn't so much about curvy but more about the abuse slimmer women receive?

I've seen both slimmer and larger women receive insults on those threads in my (far too long!) time on here. Comments about it being used by those in denial who are fat, not wanting to fuck a "bag of bones". I think on fab some want to appeal to the majority of women and insult their counterparts to try and do so. I've read forumites put down larger women with negative comments who then go on to proclaim that size isn't important to them. I do have to say, I have noticed more people calling out those who make negative comments to both slimmer and larger women.

I think if more people (particularly women) started lifting each other up (or if they can't do that, not being a dick) and rem_mbering that everyone can have issues and insecurities it would be a far happier place.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

People can be very clumsy with their words. Op you are curvy. You know this. As for the rest... it's just a reflection of the poster not the reader. Big pinches of salt required.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"As for the rest... it's just a reflection of the poster not the reader. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

It's a difficult one, I think. The issue seems to be (as typified on this thread) is that everyone has a different idea as to what the definition is.

The body shapes given on fab are beyond vague, they're clearly intended to be body positive but within the limits given there are a whole world of differences.

The fact that people get defensive and aggressive regarding others use of the word and their definition of it is rather sad though. I think that people in general externalise a lot of their defence of their body shape.

As is often the case, we get caught in our own personal experiences and fail to humanise other people on here. A bit of respect and understanding could go an awful long way.

As an additional point; everyone *can* be seen as curvy, simply by virtue of the fact that there not made up of angled blocks, the rest is down to personal definition.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"....I think body type classifications are for the insecure, or ppl struggling with self identity on a bigger scale or those who cant think past visuals or for ppl trying to over compensate for something missing in another area....

I think the very nature of the forum is to create insecurity because it's all visual pictures and one way texts. I was talking to an old friend the other night on pm and I had a thread running at the same time, and for no apparent reason my friend (who wasn't involved on my thread) just blurted out "that Lucie has a totally gorgeous body!" So I reply "yes she does doesn't she, what made you say that?"......

My friend isn't the type to compliment other women on their appearance in a positive way - insecurity innit, all self perpetuated sadly..... "

Awww.

Honestly, I wasn’t in the slightest looking for comments on my own appearance (think I said in my OP). I’m just wondering where the idea comes from that slim = problem free and totally confident. And I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there - self perpetuated insecurity. It’s sad though that people feel the need to abuse / tear down / exclude others based on their own insecurities... (without a thought for the fact that the other person may have insecurities of their own).

Xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there's far too many people casting opinions on others on here . Sadly some compliments are made at the expense of another shape or size.

I made a similar comment about the "less to worry about " comments too.

I'm desperate to be slim but all my hang ups would still be there!

Rock what you have OP . Just as we all should. Screw the labels that other people try to put on us.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So to clarify; the thread isn't so much about curvy but more about the abuse slimmer women receive?

I've seen both slimmer and larger women receive insults on those threads in my (far too long!) time on here. Comments about it being used by those in denial who are fat, not wanting to fuck a "bag of bones". I think on fab some want to appeal to the majority of women and insult their counterparts to try and do so. I've read forumites put down larger women with negative comments who then go on to proclaim that size isn't important to them. I do have to say, I have noticed more people calling out those who make negative comments to both slimmer and larger women.

I think if more people (particularly women) started lifting each other up (or if they can't do that, not being a dick) and rem_mbering that everyone can have issues and insecurities it would be a far happier place."

Amen.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

I’m a size 18 and personally would say I’m average, ample or large but that sounds so unsexy in my mind! So I put curvy. Most people I’ve met say I look better in the flesh anyway and don’t believe I’m a size 18. We are who we are and the older I get the more comfortable I feel in my own skin so I don’t really care what people think anymore. If I’m not for you move on etc. You look lovely anyway and a lot of folks don’t notice if you’ve put slim or curvy on your profile is most look at pics and skim through the words! I’ve found the odd message we get they’ve not read our profile at all!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

You can define yourself as you want; believe yourself instead of others

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Everyone as their own perceptions of body types and labels associated with them. Just identify how you wish to identify, as that is how you see yourself, how others see you is irrelevant

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's a difficult one, I think. The issue seems to be (as typified on this thread) is that everyone has a different idea as to what the definition is.

The body shapes given on fab are beyond vague, they're clearly intended to be body positive but within the limits given there are a whole world of differences.

The fact that people get defensive and aggressive regarding others use of the word and their definition of it is rather sad though. I think that people in general externalise a lot of their defence of their body shape.

As is often the case, we get caught in our own personal experiences and fail to humanise other people on here. A bit of respect and understanding could go an awful long way.

As an additional point; everyone *can* be seen as curvy, simply by virtue of the fact that there not made up of angled blocks, the rest is down to personal definition. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"....I think body type classifications are for the insecure, or ppl struggling with self identity on a bigger scale or those who cant think past visuals or for ppl trying to over compensate for something missing in another area....

I think the very nature of the forum is to create insecurity because it's all visual pictures and one way texts. I was talking to an old friend the other night on pm and I had a thread running at the same time, and for no apparent reason my friend (who wasn't involved on my thread) just blurted out "that Lucie has a totally gorgeous body!" So I reply "yes she does doesn't she, what made you say that?"......

My friend isn't the type to compliment other women on their appearance in a positive way - insecurity innit, all self perpetuated sadly..... "

I disagree with pretty much everything you've written here.

Body shape and self classification is and can be a very positive thing, also if profiles had none of it, no one would be able to search for anyone they wanted to meet.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say if you have abit jiggle around them hips that’s curvy but each to there own

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As for the rest... it's just a reflection of the poster not the reader.

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"You can define yourself as you want; believe yourself instead of others "

No, I don't think that's true.

There has to be truth in what you state.

The belief that you can 'define yourself as you want' is a very dangerous thing on the Internet and kind of at the core of so many issues on here.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"....I think body type classifications are for the insecure, or ppl struggling with self identity on a bigger scale or those who cant think past visuals or for ppl trying to over compensate for something missing in another area....

I think the very nature of the forum is to create insecurity because it's all visual pictures and one way texts. I was talking to an old friend the other night on pm and I had a thread running at the same time, and for no apparent reason my friend (who wasn't involved on my thread) just blurted out "that Lucie has a totally gorgeous body!" So I reply "yes she does doesn't she, what made you say that?"......

My friend isn't the type to compliment other women on their appearance in a positive way - insecurity innit, all self perpetuated sadly.....

I disagree with pretty much everything you've written here.

Body shape and self classification is and can be a very positive thing, also if profiles had none of it, no one would be able to search for anyone they wanted to meet. "

I thought he meant that tearing others down based on their body shape was perpetuated by insecurity... could have misread that...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to add 'Wonderful' into the mix. OP you have a wonderful figure x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"You can define yourself as you want; believe yourself instead of others

No, I don't think that's true.

There has to be truth in what you state.

The belief that you can 'define yourself as you want' is a very dangerous thing on the Internet and kind of at the core of so many issues on here. "

What I originally wrote and then deleted (maybe I should have left it) is to believe yourself rather than some strangers on a website

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Everyone as their own perceptions of body types and labels associated with them. Just identify how you wish to identify, as that is how you see yourself, how others see you is irrelevant "

Yes! This!

There have been a few comments recently regarding who should and shouldn't attend BBW nights etc. As a host myself I don't exclude anyone (unless they're rude or the club bans them), all I ask is an acceptance that it is a night for larger women to feel confident and comfortable as some struggle with this on 'normal' nights.

Size is always subjective. Someone who has been a size 8 all their life is going to feel huge if they suddenly find themselves buying size 12 clothes. Yet to someone like me a size 12 is tiny as I've never been that size.

I get why there are size classifications on here but some people are way too hung up on people exactly fitting their expectations of that size.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Almost all women have issues with their size shape and some kind of hangups. We all go through things that shape how we perceive our bodies. It’s subjective and societal expectations of beauty impact us most right when we are developing and changing. I think when I started to focus more on accepting that my body is mine and it’s alright, I felt better. I don’t think it’s fair to exclude but I think we can’t compare who’s going to think who is big or small or fat or slim. I consider myself curvy but not a bbw ( I don’t like the term personally). Big implies you’re bigger than average and 14 is average so that label can piss off. I was told I wasn’t big enough the other day and I’m told I’m not curvy the meanings are constantly changing based on who is interpreting. Most women have curves of some kind with bums and breasts. Identify yourself ( not just you OP but generally) as you feel and focus on being accepting first of yourself and then realising that everyone is struggling with these definitions. I don’t think changing the labels will work, just looking at photos and contacting who you find attractive despite the labels. I’ve seen very slim women who identify as bigger or curvier and that’s ok if that’s how they feel in the mirror. I’ve also seen women of larger sizes listed as average. Same with men with muscles everywhere calling themselves average because they feel insecure about calling themselves gym fit.

Its just down to subjective interpretation but the exclusion is bullshit on either end of the spectrum. - Mrs

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ing_Wookie_RodeoMan
over a year ago

stockport wasteland

The way I look at this as a man when looking at women is, your not shaped like a pencil so you have a bum and boobs with shape which 95% of people not just women. But as with everything it's your right to label yourself as you see yourself. OP I find you look amazing and you look like you have some very nice curves label yourself as you like just like everyone should. To me a hole profile tells me different thing about a person/people psychology so there interesting

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s why I say I like fat women so that we all know exactly what I like. I don’t mean it in a bad way it’s just if I say curvy it can mean anything

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....I think body type classifications are for the insecure, or ppl struggling with self identity on a bigger scale or those who cant think past visuals or for ppl trying to over compensate for something missing in another area....

I think the very nature of the forum is to create insecurity because it's all visual pictures and one way texts. I was talking to an old friend the other night on pm and I had a thread running at the same time, and for no apparent reason my friend (who wasn't involved on my thread) just blurted out "that Lucie has a totally gorgeous body!" So I reply "yes she does doesn't she, what made you say that?"......

My friend isn't the type to compliment other women on their appearance in a positive way - insecurity innit, all self perpetuated sadly.....

I disagree with pretty much everything you've written here.

Body shape and self classification is and can be a very positive thing, also if profiles had none of it, no one would be able to search for anyone they wanted to meet. "

I dont meet bodies.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

I think all body types are based on people’s self perception!

Whilst ‘curvy’ seems to be the body type that people seem to discuss/argue about the most - it’s not uncommon to see an ‘athletic’ body on here with a definite pot belly and there are many ladies and gentlemen with ‘average’ bodies that I personally think are far from average and very appealing!

Essentially we all just look at the pictures (and hopefully text) and message those we find appealing - right?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....I think body type classifications are for the insecure, or ppl struggling with self identity on a bigger scale or those who cant think past visuals or for ppl trying to over compensate for something missing in another area....

I think the very nature of the forum is to create insecurity because it's all visual pictures and one way texts. I was talking to an old friend the other night on pm and I had a thread running at the same time, and for no apparent reason my friend (who wasn't involved on my thread) just blurted out "that Lucie has a totally gorgeous body!" So I reply "yes she does doesn't she, what made you say that?"......

My friend isn't the type to compliment other women on their appearance in a positive way - insecurity innit, all self perpetuated sadly.....

I disagree with pretty much everything you've written here.

Body shape and self classification is and can be a very positive thing, also if profiles had none of it, no one would be able to search for anyone they wanted to meet.

I thought he meant that tearing others down based on their body shape was perpetuated by insecurity... could have misread that... "

Yeah, i think you got me my lovely

Also, a body is just a case...... .....some beautifully ugly and empty ppl on fab......

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get called curvy a lot but to me im mostly fat with a couple of small curves

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even supermodels have insecurities.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ing_Wookie_RodeoMan
over a year ago

stockport wasteland


"I think all body types are based on people’s self perception!

Whilst ‘curvy’ seems to be the body type that people seem to discuss/argue about the most - it’s not uncommon to see an ‘athletic’ body on here with a definite pot belly and there are many ladies and gentlemen with ‘average’ bodies that I personally think are far from average and very appealing!

Essentially we all just look at the pictures (and hopefully text) and message those we find appealing - right? "
talking of curves, I seem to rem_mber I liked everyone of yours

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Love the skin you're in then the labels dont matter. I have no hang ups with my shape as I feel blessed.

I use average but I could be curvy, slim or athelic depending who's looking. But I dont really care because how we see ourselves will differ from how others may see us but does it really matter.

Curvy for me is a hip to waist ratio having said that an 8 curvy looks different to a 16 curvy for example.

Interesting thread Op

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

...

I have seen so many people assume that slim people have it easy and have no body hangups, but they are very naive to believe that and it isn't worth listening to those kind of comments. It doesn't matter what size you are, you can still be unhappy with how you look. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

[Removed by poster at 04/11/19 08:51:50]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Personally I think curvy is used as a nice version of fat/obese. I am obese it's a medical fact that I cannot escape. Curvy on the other hand means different things to different people to me it's where a woman has a defined waist with larger boobs and bum in comparison. A bit like the old fashioned hourglass.

What I do not like is this constant pulling of each other down to justify our own bodies. I could have easily said in the thread mentioned that Lucie isn't curvy as she has an athletic figure to make me feel better about my own body hang ups, which I didn't. Sometimes I think we all need to spread a bit more positivity on these forums

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"

...

I have seen so many people assume that slim people have it easy and have no body hangups, but they are very naive to believe that and it isn't worth listening to those kind of comments. It doesn't matter what size you are, you can still be unhappy with how you look.

"

Not just on here. It's part of the 'body positivity', at least according to the annoying woman on the BBC programme 'who are you calling fat' lady week. Apparently according to her she was considered to have a privileged body because she was labelled a small medium fat woman.....the mind boggles

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"....I think body type classifications are for the insecure, or ppl struggling with self identity on a bigger scale or those who cant think past visuals or for ppl trying to over compensate for something missing in another area....

I think the very nature of the forum is to create insecurity because it's all visual pictures and one way texts. I was talking to an old friend the other night on pm and I had a thread running at the same time, and for no apparent reason my friend (who wasn't involved on my thread) just blurted out "that Lucie has a totally gorgeous body!" So I reply "yes she does doesn't she, what made you say that?"......

My friend isn't the type to compliment other women on their appearance in a positive way - insecurity innit, all self perpetuated sadly.....

I disagree with pretty much everything you've written here.

Body shape and self classification is and can be a very positive thing, also if profiles had none of it, no one would be able to search for anyone they wanted to meet.

I dont meet bodies..... "

You don't meet anyone

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My figure is described as curvy as I see it as a shape, I’m a size 10 but with boobs and bum. I wouldn’t class myself as athletic as I do have wobbly bits

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....I think body type classifications are for the insecure, or ppl struggling with self identity on a bigger scale or those who cant think past visuals or for ppl trying to over compensate for something missing in another area....

I think the very nature of the forum is to create insecurity because it's all visual pictures and one way texts. I was talking to an old friend the other night on pm and I had a thread running at the same time, and for no apparent reason my friend (who wasn't involved on my thread) just blurted out "that Lucie has a totally gorgeous body!" So I reply "yes she does doesn't she, what made you say that?"......

My friend isn't the type to compliment other women on their appearance in a positive way - insecurity innit, all self perpetuated sadly.....

I disagree with pretty much everything you've written here.

Body shape and self classification is and can be a very positive thing, also if profiles had none of it, no one would be able to search for anyone they wanted to meet.

I dont meet bodies.....

You don't meet anyone "

You don't know much about me really do you...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I think curvy is used as a nice version of fat/obese. I am obese it's a medical fact that I cannot escape. Curvy on the other hand means different things to different people to me it's where a woman has a defined waist with larger boobs and bum in comparison. A bit like the old fashioned hourglass.

What I do not like is this constant pulling of each other down to justify our own bodies. I could have easily said in the thread mentioned that Lucie isn't curvy as she has an athletic figure to make me feel better about my own body hang ups, which I didn't. Sometimes I think we all need to spread a bit more positivity on these forums "

Amen on the positivity, genuine positivity too, the open inclusive stuff

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for everyone’s contributions!

Really interesting discussion which was the aim.

I think my original points were (which I didn’t make clear in the first post because I’m a bit of a rambler at times!):

1) at times it feels “more acceptable” to make unpleasant or excluding comments about slimmer women. Not just on here, I mean life in general. An example is- a number of times in my late teens if I saw a family m_mber or friend I hadn’t seen for a while they’d think nothing of saying “oh god you’ve lost weight love, here, have a sandwich”. . Can you imagine the opposite way around - “bloody hell don’t eat that sandwich love; you’ve put loads of weight on”. The latter in my view would be seen as much less acceptable and more offensive. Why? I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights in my teens wishing I had “curves” or could put just a teeny bit of weight on. Is that experience not valid because my BMI is low?

2) linked to the above point - where on earth does this misconception come from, that “slim women have fewer problems / body hang ups”? Had I not be bullied at school for being so slim and under-developed, I have no doubt I’d feel more confident now with my clothes off or in a bikini.

Just to try and stop the thread going off track - hopefully this makes my original reflections a bit clearer

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for everyone’s contributions!

Really interesting discussion which was the aim.

I think my original points were (which I didn’t make clear in the first post because I’m a bit of a rambler at times!):

1) at times it feels “more acceptable” to make unpleasant or excluding comments about slimmer women. Not just on here, I mean life in general. An example is- a number of times in my late teens if I saw a family m_mber or friend I hadn’t seen for a while they’d think nothing of saying “oh god you’ve lost weight love, here, have a sandwich”. . Can you imagine the opposite way around - “bloody hell don’t eat that sandwich love; you’ve put loads of weight on”. The latter in my view would be seen as much less acceptable and more offensive. Why? I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights in my teens wishing I had “curves” or could put just a teeny bit of weight on. Is that experience not valid because my BMI is low?

2) linked to the above point - where on earth does this misconception come from, that “slim women have fewer problems / body hang ups”? Had I not be bullied at school for being so slim and under-developed, I have no doubt I’d feel more confident now with my clothes off or in a bikini.

Just to try and stop the thread going off track - hopefully this makes my original reflections a bit clearer "

Guilty , just last night, and I'm sorry my lovely, I can be a complete twat sometimes....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for everyone’s contributions!

Really interesting discussion which was the aim.

I think my original points were (which I didn’t make clear in the first post because I’m a bit of a rambler at times!):

1) at times it feels “more acceptable” to make unpleasant or excluding comments about slimmer women. Not just on here, I mean life in general. An example is- a number of times in my late teens if I saw a family m_mber or friend I hadn’t seen for a while they’d think nothing of saying “oh god you’ve lost weight love, here, have a sandwich”. . Can you imagine the opposite way around - “bloody hell don’t eat that sandwich love; you’ve put loads of weight on”. The latter in my view would be seen as much less acceptable and more offensive. Why? I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights in my teens wishing I had “curves” or could put just a teeny bit of weight on. Is that experience not valid because my BMI is low?

2) linked to the above point - where on earth does this misconception come from, that “slim women have fewer problems / body hang ups”? Had I not be bullied at school for being so slim and under-developed, I have no doubt I’d feel more confident now with my clothes off or in a bikini.

Just to try and stop the thread going off track - hopefully this makes my original reflections a bit clearer

Guilty , just last night, and I'm sorry my lovely, I can be a complete twat sometimes.... "

Guilty of?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hummmm judging by the comments so far my " curvy " title should be " ample " as I do not have a waste or one noticeably smaller than my hips....I'm carrying far too much weight to be athletic or slim...but wouldn't class myself as ample or bbw....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hummmm judging by the comments so far my " curvy " title should be " ample " as I do not have a waste or one noticeably smaller than my hips....I'm carrying far too much weight to be athletic or slim...but wouldn't class myself as ample or bbw...."

I actually changed mine to “athletic” rather than curvy after some of the comments on here. I suppose in an ideal world we would all have very high self esteem and say “fuck anyone else’s labels or views of us”, but I can’t say I’m 100% able to disregard others’ views of me. I do my best but... Some are better than others at not caring what others think I guess.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

[Removed by poster at 04/11/19 09:19:57]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Words mean whatever you want them to mean.

In my experience body shaming happens at both ends of the spectrum and all places inbetween.

Also what is deemed "acceptable" or "fashionable" in body type changes all the time.

It takes a certain amount of confidence and resilience to be able to "teflon" off the negative comments. Body confidence should be taught at schools I think.

For years I was told I had a fat arse, now I'm bootilicious apparently.

I've not changed, but society's perception of me has.

Fuck that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You can define yourself as you want; believe yourself instead of others

No, I don't think that's true.

There has to be truth in what you state.

The belief that you can 'define yourself as you want' is a very dangerous thing on the Internet and kind of at the core of so many issues on here. "

Who is to say what “truth” is when it comes to body shape? Truth implies absolute fact. I get that there is truth to one’s sex, skin colour or height. And even weight (if we’re talking kilos). But the site doesn’t ask anyone to put their weight in kilos. It asks for a description of body type. And that is inherently subjective, surely?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for everyone’s contributions!

Really interesting discussion which was the aim.

I think my original points were (which I didn’t make clear in the first post because I’m a bit of a rambler at times!):

1) at times it feels “more acceptable” to make unpleasant or excluding comments about slimmer women. Not just on here, I mean life in general. An example is- a number of times in my late teens if I saw a family m_mber or friend I hadn’t seen for a while they’d think nothing of saying “oh god you’ve lost weight love, here, have a sandwich”. . Can you imagine the opposite way around - “bloody hell don’t eat that sandwich love; you’ve put loads of weight on”. The latter in my view would be seen as much less acceptable and more offensive. Why? I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights in my teens wishing I had “curves” or could put just a teeny bit of weight on. Is that experience not valid because my BMI is low?

2) linked to the above point - where on earth does this misconception come from, that “slim women have fewer problems / body hang ups”? Had I not be bullied at school for being so slim and under-developed, I have no doubt I’d feel more confident now with my clothes off or in a bikini.

Just to try and stop the thread going off track - hopefully this makes my original reflections a bit clearer

Guilty , just last night, and I'm sorry my lovely, I can be a complete twat sometimes....

Guilty of? "

I referred to you as a "skinny wench" or something similar on one of my threads. A bit dumb really, I didn't think... It was meant in a positive way (aka you're beautiful) but who knows how things will be taken and also what other ppl watching will see or feel? I always tend to shout out the first thing that comes into my mind when I'm on my own thread without thinking. I probs need to think more....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ifeandhubby400Couple
over a year ago

Arse hole of nowhere ,Scotland

I too was bullied by boys at school for being flat chested ,i was skinny etc for many years not till my 40s did i get a shape as such ,id say im curvy but best of all im me and happy with myself more now than ever ...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Words mean whatever you want them to mean.

In my experience body shaming happens at both ends of the spectrum and all places inbetween.

Also what is deemed "acceptable" or "fashionable" in body type changes all the time.

It takes a certain amount of confidence and resilience to be able to "teflon" off the negative comments. Body confidence should be taught at schools I think.

For years I was told I had a fat arse, now I'm bootilicious apparently.

I've not changed, but society's perception of me has.

Fuck that.

"

Yes, fuck that indeed.

For years I was told I was “too skinny”. Then I left the cruelty of high school and found in my 20s that men loved my body and told me that I had lovely curves. I suppose a few comments on these threads recently have just resurfaced a bit of that original insecurity from my younger years. And whilst I’m generally resilient enough now at 34 to feel beautiful no matter what, it just made me question “where does come from....?” Hence the thread. It’s been an interesting discussion so far and largely respectful, so thanks all

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I too was bullied by boys at school for being flat chested ,i was skinny etc for many years not till my 40s did i get a shape as such ,id say im curvy but best of all im me and happy with myself more now than ever ... "

I’m pleased you’re happy, you look great

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

This is what curvy means to me (Luke).

Women are often made to feel inadequate for not being a particular shape, especially for having a few extra pounds (or even quite a lot). A lot of it comes from the media but individuals do it too. I have personal experience of conversations on Fab with women who feel ugly because they are larger than the "ideal" that is pushed on them.

I tend not to go for the body type that is put in magazines or movies. I positively like a woman to be larger than that. I find it beautiful. I could name you a few women on this site who have described themselves as fat who I think look absolutely lovely.

"Fat" is a derogatory term. I use "curvy" for somebody who potentially could think they are fat but I see as having a lovely body. It puts a positive spin on it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Like most have said curvy is a shape not a size just depends who appreciates the shape, I could go and say I’m curvy hahah, lots of

Labels these days, but I would agree that your curvy OP and mighty gorgeous at that "

...Flattery will get you everywhere

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for everyone’s contributions!

Really interesting discussion which was the aim.

I think my original points were (which I didn’t make clear in the first post because I’m a bit of a rambler at times!):

1) at times it feels “more acceptable” to make unpleasant or excluding comments about slimmer women. Not just on here, I mean life in general. An example is- a number of times in my late teens if I saw a family m_mber or friend I hadn’t seen for a while they’d think nothing of saying “oh god you’ve lost weight love, here, have a sandwich”. . Can you imagine the opposite way around - “bloody hell don’t eat that sandwich love; you’ve put loads of weight on”. The latter in my view would be seen as much less acceptable and more offensive. Why? I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights in my teens wishing I had “curves” or could put just a teeny bit of weight on. Is that experience not valid because my BMI is low?

2) linked to the above point - where on earth does this misconception come from, that “slim women have fewer problems / body hang ups”? Had I not be bullied at school for being so slim and under-developed, I have no doubt I’d feel more confident now with my clothes off or in a bikini.

Just to try and stop the thread going off track - hopefully this makes my original reflections a bit clearer "

People DO tell overweight people that they’re fat and shouldn’t eat. You may not have experienced that as you struggled at the other end. But they do, and it’s horrible.

When I was very thin due to illness people were horrible to me, when I was heavier people were horrible to me. It’s awful how people rip each other apart. Thin women do have hang ups and body insecurities as well, but they are generally considered more acceptable and attractive as evidenced by society. That doesn’t mean you don’t struggle.

Bigger women will see your body as what they hope to achieve or envy but won’t realise that one also comes with insecurity and hangups.

One of the most telling moments for me was when I joined a group of women on Facebook, just for friendship and realised every single one of us, at every size, had massive hangups and it’s absolutely awful that so many women drag each other down based on the ideal they have in their head from their own issues.

If you developed faster, they’d have grabbed your bum and boobs or possibly called you fat or tried to undo your bra.

Humans are cruel. Everyone is insecure in even a tiny way about being nude or physically not “perfect” you are perfectly you, that is good enough.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is what curvy means to me (Luke).

Women are often made to feel inadequate for not being a particular shape, especially for having a few extra pounds (or even quite a lot). A lot of it comes from the media but individuals do it too. I have personal experience of conversations on Fab with women who feel ugly because they are larger than the "ideal" that is pushed on them.

I tend not to go for the body type that is put in magazines or movies. I positively like a woman to be larger than that. I find it beautiful. I could name you a few women on this site who have described themselves as fat who I think look absolutely lovely.

"Fat" is a derogatory term. I use "curvy" for somebody who potentially could think they are fat but I see as having a lovely body. It puts a positive spin on it. "

Thanks Luke... that makes sense. For me, curvy puts a positive spin on my otherwise teen “anorexic” body (according to the bullies), and makes me feel like the “real” woman they told me I wasn’t.

Isn’t it interesting how the term can be used for exact opposite reasons

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for everyone’s contributions!

Really interesting discussion which was the aim.

I think my original points were (which I didn’t make clear in the first post because I’m a bit of a rambler at times!):

1) at times it feels “more acceptable” to make unpleasant or excluding comments about slimmer women. Not just on here, I mean life in general. An example is- a number of times in my late teens if I saw a family m_mber or friend I hadn’t seen for a while they’d think nothing of saying “oh god you’ve lost weight love, here, have a sandwich”. . Can you imagine the opposite way around - “bloody hell don’t eat that sandwich love; you’ve put loads of weight on”. The latter in my view would be seen as much less acceptable and more offensive. Why? I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights in my teens wishing I had “curves” or could put just a teeny bit of weight on. Is that experience not valid because my BMI is low?

2) linked to the above point - where on earth does this misconception come from, that “slim women have fewer problems / body hang ups”? Had I not be bullied at school for being so slim and under-developed, I have no doubt I’d feel more confident now with my clothes off or in a bikini.

Just to try and stop the thread going off track - hopefully this makes my original reflections a bit clearer

People DO tell overweight people that they’re fat and shouldn’t eat. You may not have experienced that as you struggled at the other end. But they do, and it’s horrible.

When I was very thin due to illness people were horrible to me, when I was heavier people were horrible to me. It’s awful how people rip each other apart. Thin women do have hang ups and body insecurities as well, but they are generally considered more acceptable and attractive as evidenced by society. That doesn’t mean you don’t struggle.

Bigger women will see your body as what they hope to achieve or envy but won’t realise that one also comes with insecurity and hangups.

One of the most telling moments for me was when I joined a group of women on Facebook, just for friendship and realised every single one of us, at every size, had massive hangups and it’s absolutely awful that so many women drag each other down based on the ideal they have in their head from their own issues.

If you developed faster, they’d have grabbed your bum and boobs or possibly called you fat or tried to undo your bra.

Humans are cruel. Everyone is insecure in even a tiny way about being nude or physically not “perfect” you are perfectly you, that is good enough. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice boobs bum usually

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ifeandhubby400Couple
over a year ago

Arse hole of nowhere ,Scotland


"I too was bullied by boys at school for being flat chested ,i was skinny etc for many years not till my 40s did i get a shape as such ,id say im curvy but best of all im me and happy with myself more now than ever ...

I’m pleased you’re happy, you look great "
thanks means a lot

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"You can define yourself as you want; believe yourself instead of others

No, I don't think that's true.

There has to be truth in what you state.

The belief that you can 'define yourself as you want' is a very dangerous thing on the Internet and kind of at the core of so many issues on here.

Who is to say what “truth” is when it comes to body shape? Truth implies absolute fact. I get that there is truth to one’s sex, skin colour or height. And even weight (if we’re talking kilos). But the site doesn’t ask anyone to put their weight in kilos. It asks for a description of body type. And that is inherently subjective, surely? "

That was my original point on this subject.

With regards to my point about the truth; I was speaking more broadly. To bring it back to the thread topic, I think that people should be honest with themselves regarding their physical type, as vague as the definitions are. If everyone does that then there could be a bit more respect for the way that others define themselves.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hrekfionaCouple
over a year ago

Leven

I'm a size 20 woman, and wouldnt class myself as curvy, bit passed that stage so I just put large.

I used to have "curvy" before, and when guys say they like curvy girls and dont want them to be under false illusion that I am a size 10 curvy, I am a bigger woman.

But looking at your pic I'd say you have a nice shape enough to put curvy, slim would be straight up and down. X

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm a size 20 woman, and wouldnt class myself as curvy, bit passed that stage so I just put large.

I used to have "curvy" before, and when guys say they like curvy girls and dont want them to be under false illusion that I am a size 10 curvy, I am a bigger woman.

But looking at your pic I'd say you have a nice shape enough to put curvy, slim would be straight up and down. X"

Thank you.

Is any woman truly “straight up and down” though? The female body surely always has curves, even if only tiny? Not sure if I’m correct... just putting it out there

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

My interpretation of curvy is - all the right bumps in all the right places and a couple extra if she wishes.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

It's whatever you want it to be, I wouldn't get to tied up in putting labels on people or yourself

What's one persons curvy is another persons BBW or if they're rude overweight.

For me it's the shape and nothing to do with dress size

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Just to try and stop the thread going off track - hopefully this makes my original reflections a bit clearer

People DO tell overweight people that they’re fat and shouldn’t eat. You may not have experienced that as you struggled at the other end. But they do, and it’s horrible.

When I was very thin due to illness people were horrible to me, when I was heavier people were horrible to me. It’s awful how people rip each other apart. Thin women do have hang ups and body insecurities as well, but they are generally considered more acceptable and attractive as evidenced by society. That doesn’t mean you don’t struggle.

Bigger women will see your body as what they hope to achieve or envy but won’t realise that one also comes with insecurity and hangups.

One of the most telling moments for me was when I joined a group of women on Facebook, just for friendship and realised every single one of us, at every size, had massive hangups and it’s absolutely awful that so many women drag each other down based on the ideal they have in their head from their own issues.

If you developed faster, they’d have grabbed your bum and boobs or possibly called you fat or tried to undo your bra.

Humans are cruel. Everyone is insecure in even a tiny way about being nude or physically not “perfect” you are perfectly you, that is good enough. "

This is a much better way of putting what I was about to say

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for everyone’s contributions!

Really interesting discussion which was the aim.

I think my original points were (which I didn’t make clear in the first post because I’m a bit of a rambler at times!):

1) at times it feels “more acceptable” to make unpleasant or excluding comments about slimmer women. Not just on here, I mean life in general. An example is- a number of times in my late teens if I saw a family m_mber or friend I hadn’t seen for a while they’d think nothing of saying “oh god you’ve lost weight love, here, have a sandwich”. . Can you imagine the opposite way around - “bloody hell don’t eat that sandwich love; you’ve put loads of weight on”. The latter in my view would be seen as much less acceptable and more offensive. Why? I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights in my teens wishing I had “curves” or could put just a teeny bit of weight on. Is that experience not valid because my BMI is low?

2) linked to the above point - where on earth does this misconception come from, that “slim women have fewer problems / body hang ups”? Had I not be bullied at school for being so slim and under-developed, I have no doubt I’d feel more confident now with my clothes off or in a bikini.

Just to try and stop the thread going off track - hopefully this makes my original reflections a bit clearer

Guilty , just last night, and I'm sorry my lovely, I can be a complete twat sometimes.... "

Don’t worry you didn’t offend me at all with the skinny wench comment! There’s a context to comments and when you know someone you know how to take things. I took it in the way it was intended, i.e. a joke. It’s when you don’t know someone as well and the context isn’t clear that things can be offensive. So honestly, don’t worry.

The 17/18 year old me would have cried herself to sleep... the 34 year old woman is way more resilient

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Hmm good points on this thread, making me wonder if fab genuinely needs body types which are so open to interpretation such as curvy? Isn't this why we add photos so people can decide if our appearance appeals to them?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Curvy means you have curves. Simple.

You’re welcome

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's whatever you want it to be, I wouldn't get to tied up in putting labels on people or yourself

What's one persons curvy is another persons BBW or if they're rude overweight.

For me it's the shape and nothing to do with dress size "

I wasn’t so much tied up on the labels, as reflecting on the issues that often underlie it and come from it, if that makes sense. The title of the thread was probably misleading in that respect, hence my long winded OP to explain what I was interested in discussing...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hmm good points on this thread, making me wonder if fab genuinely needs body types which are so open to interpretation such as curvy? Isn't this why we add photos so people can decide if our appearance appeals to them?

"

Really good point

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curvy means you have curves. Simple.

You’re welcome "

I'm curvy....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curvy means you have curves. Simple.

You’re welcome

I'm curvy...."

Me too. I’m more confused as to what average means.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great Post Lucie. Just bookmarking so i can read the comments when i get time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Curvy means you have curves. Simple.

You’re welcome

I'm curvy....

Me too. I’m more confused as to what average means. "

Since joining Fab, I’ve realised that even “the sky is blue” and “grass is green” are open to misinterpretation.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Great Post Lucie. Just bookmarking so i can read the comments when i get time. "

Glad it’s sparked interest

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmm good points on this thread, making me wonder if fab genuinely needs body types which are so open to interpretation such as curvy? Isn't this why we add photos so people can decide if our appearance appeals to them?

"

Life doesn't need anything, but a meaning.....

I once had a boss who was talking to his team about job titles, he said if he called us all squirrels then sooner or later someone would demand to be a senior squirrel. I'm honestly surprised there aren't grades of curvy, like c, vc, sc, ec, fc, xxxxxc....

If only life was simple.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curvy means you have curves. Simple.

You’re welcome

I'm curvy....

Me too. I’m more confused as to what average means. "

If you divide all curves by the total number of participants, and then make some shit up, you'll be yourself....ish...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Think there will always be some who seek to bring others down. I was told by my family I was like a back end of a bus when I was tiny when I was younger, led to me loosing weight to be told I wasn't desirable as I had no boobs and bum. I was a late bloomer was flat chested until I was an adult.

On the other hand as an adult I've been told I'm too fat to be desirable now. I think no matter what flipping size or shape I am, there will be those who like it and those who don't.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Curvy means you have curves. Simple.

You’re welcome

I'm curvy....

Me too. I’m more confused as to what average means.

If you divide all curves by the total number of participants, and then make some shit up, you'll be yourself....ish... "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Think there will always be some who seek to bring others down. I was told by my family I was like a back end of a bus when I was tiny when I was younger, led to me loosing weight to be told I wasn't desirable as I had no boobs and bum. I was a late bloomer was flat chested until I was an adult.

On the other hand as an adult I've been told I'm too fat to be desirable now. I think no matter what flipping size or shape I am, there will be those who like it and those who don't. "

This makes me sad. Why do we live in a world like this??

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Hmm good points on this thread, making me wonder if fab genuinely needs body types which are so open to interpretation such as curvy? Isn't this why we add photos so people can decide if our appearance appeals to them?

Life doesn't need anything, but a meaning.....

I once had a boss who was talking to his team about job titles, he said if he called us all squirrels then sooner or later someone would demand to be a senior squirrel. I'm honestly surprised there aren't grades of curvy, like c, vc, sc, ec, fc, xxxxxc....

If only life was simple....."

Nippy, have you used labels before to describe a person's size or shape? Both in a positive and negative way.

I do understand why people use them to a certain extent and why fab has them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Think there will always be some who seek to bring others down. I was told by my family I was like a back end of a bus when I was tiny when I was younger, led to me loosing weight to be told I wasn't desirable as I had no boobs and bum. I was a late bloomer was flat chested until I was an adult.

On the other hand as an adult I've been told I'm too fat to be desirable now. I think no matter what flipping size or shape I am, there will be those who like it and those who don't.

This makes me sad. Why do we live in a world like this?? "

Cause people concentrate on what they don't have rather than what they do have imo.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire


"Curvy is a shape and can be any size ... it is when the waist is noticeably smaller than the top and bottom ie an hourglass or a pear shape

You can be a size 8, 18 or bigger and anything in between but should always have a noticeable waist

I always thought it referred to shape rather than size too. "

always thought curvy was a bigger lady when ive been chatting and said over weight or squiggy bits always been told no youre curvy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

It’s all in the eye of the beholder

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmm good points on this thread, making me wonder if fab genuinely needs body types which are so open to interpretation such as curvy? Isn't this why we add photos so people can decide if our appearance appeals to them?

Life doesn't need anything, but a meaning.....

I once had a boss who was talking to his team about job titles, he said if he called us all squirrels then sooner or later someone would demand to be a senior squirrel. I'm honestly surprised there aren't grades of curvy, like c, vc, sc, ec, fc, xxxxxc....

If only life was simple.....

Nippy, have you used labels before to describe a person's size or shape? Both in a positive and negative way.

I do understand why people use them to a certain extent and why fab has them."

I just said I was guilty just last night Meli....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Curvy is a shape and can be any size ... it is when the waist is noticeably smaller than the top and bottom ie an hourglass or a pear shape

You can be a size 8, 18 or bigger and anything in between but should always have a noticeable waist

I always thought it referred to shape rather than size too.

always thought curvy was a bigger lady when ive been chatting and said over weight or squiggy bits always been told no youre curvy"

This is the interesting double edged interpretation of curvy, isn’t it. Dating men in my 20s, after my difficult teen years (which I’ve described in the OP), I would feel insecure with my clothes off and say “I’m too skinny”; and they would reply “god no, you have beautiful curves”. Hence, “curvy” makes me feel like more of a “real woman”, if that makes sense. It’s all relative to our own experiences isn’t it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It’s all in the eye of the beholder "

Indeed

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Nippy, have you used labels before to describe a person's size or shape? Both in a positive and negative way.

I do understand why people use them to a certain extent and why fab has them.

I just said I was guilty just last night Meli...."

I meant apart from what you mentioned on the thread.

Not to single you out or any such thing (your comments allowed me to nicely to move on to this point!) but I think as a general we, we can all do better. It's one thing discussing not body shaming and seeing people as more than their body but another to actually do it.

Reading through this thread highlights how much what might be a throwaway comment to another can actually affect some and bring up feelings of insecurity.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Curvy is a shape and can be any size ... it is when the waist is noticeably smaller than the top and bottom ie an hourglass or a pear shape

You can be a size 8, 18 or bigger and anything in between but should always have a noticeable waist

I always thought it referred to shape rather than size too.

always thought curvy was a bigger lady when ive been chatting and said over weight or squiggy bits always been told no youre curvy

This is the interesting double edged interpretation of curvy, isn’t it. Dating men in my 20s, after my difficult teen years (which I’ve described in the OP), I would feel insecure with my clothes off and say “I’m too skinny”; and they would reply “god no, you have beautiful curves”. Hence, “curvy” makes me feel like more of a “real woman”, if that makes sense. It’s all relative to our own experiences isn’t it "

You are beautiful and curvy, ignore the idiots, I for one really do think your profile should say curvy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Curvy (adj)

1. Curved

2. (Informal) curvaceous

Thesaurus:

adjective : shapely

bosomy

buxom

curvaceous

sonsie

sonsy

voluptuous

Hope that helps

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is what curvy means to me (Luke).

Women are often made to feel inadequate for not being a particular shape, especially for having a few extra pounds (or even quite a lot). A lot of it comes from the media but individuals do it too. I have personal experience of conversations on Fab with women who feel ugly because they are larger than the "ideal" that is pushed on them.

I tend not to go for the body type that is put in magazines or movies. I positively like a woman to be larger than that. I find it beautiful. I could name you a few women on this site who have described themselves as fat who I think look absolutely lovely.

"Fat" is a derogatory term. I use "curvy" for somebody who potentially could think they are fat but I see as having a lovely body. It puts a positive spin on it.

Thanks Luke... that makes sense. For me, curvy puts a positive spin on my otherwise teen “anorexic” body (according to the bullies), and makes me feel like the “real” woman they told me I wasn’t.

Isn’t it interesting how the term can be used for exact opposite reasons "

I think you're both right about it coming down to positive spin. There's a dearth of words with positive connotations to describe womens' body shapes, and curvy is the one available which most people agree is a positive. I would usually go with what people above said about a smaller waist than boobs/bum meaning a curvy shape, but also add slim or thicc to indicate size. I've seen people say they find thicc offensive but I really like it as I think it sounds positive too. I'm a 14 with big boobs and bum, a smaller waist but a belly too, so I feel right on the cusp of where people get most tetchy over what you describe yourself as. Thicc and curvy feels like the closest I identify with, and it gives an idea of both shape and size. No dress size owns the word curvy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nippy, have you used labels before to describe a person's size or shape? Both in a positive and negative way.

I do understand why people use them to a certain extent and why fab has them.

I just said I was guilty just last night Meli....

I meant apart from what you mentioned on the thread.

Not to single you out or any such thing (your comments allowed me to nicely to move on to this point!) but I think as a general we, we can all do better. It's one thing discussing not body shaming and seeing people as more than their body but another to actually do it.

Reading through this thread highlights how much what might be a throwaway comment to another can actually affect some and bring up feelings of insecurity."

If this thread has done that then I’d consider it a success. We could all be a bit nicer and more sensitive at times I feel

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curvy (adj)

1. Curved

2. (Informal) curvaceous

Thesaurus:

adjective : shapely

bosomy

buxom

curvaceous

sonsie

sonsy

voluptuous

Hope that helps "

Or. Look at the photo and decide if you like or not

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Curvy (adj)

1. Curved

2. (Informal) curvaceous

Thesaurus:

adjective : shapely

bosomy

buxom

curvaceous

sonsie

sonsy

voluptuous

Hope that helps

Or. Look at the photo and decide if you like or not "

That works too

My take away from this .... curvy means what you want it to mean, not what others dictate it should be

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Curvy is a shape and can be any size ... it is when the waist is noticeably smaller than the top and bottom ie an hourglass or a pear shape

You can be a size 8, 18 or bigger and anything in between but should always have a noticeable waist

I always thought it referred to shape rather than size too.

always thought curvy was a bigger lady when ive been chatting and said over weight or squiggy bits always been told no youre curvy

This is the interesting double edged interpretation of curvy, isn’t it. Dating men in my 20s, after my difficult teen years (which I’ve described in the OP), I would feel insecure with my clothes off and say “I’m too skinny”; and they would reply “god no, you have beautiful curves”. Hence, “curvy” makes me feel like more of a “real woman”, if that makes sense. It’s all relative to our own experiences isn’t it

You are beautiful and curvy, ignore the idiots, I for one really do think your profile should say curvy "

thank you x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curvy means you have curves. Simple.

You’re welcome

I'm curvy....

Me too. I’m more confused as to what average means.

Since joining Fab, I’ve realised that even “the sky is blue” and “grass is green” are open to misinterpretation. "

Haha and the world is flat

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Curvy (adj)

1. Curved

2. (Informal) curvaceous

Thesaurus:

adjective : shapely

bosomy

buxom

curvaceous

sonsie

sonsy

voluptuous

Hope that helps "

Sonsie is such a beautiful word! I'll start using that now.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nippy, have you used labels before to describe a person's size or shape? Both in a positive and negative way.

I do understand why people use them to a certain extent and why fab has them.

I just said I was guilty just last night Meli....

I meant apart from what you mentioned on the thread.

Not to single you out or any such thing (your comments allowed me to nicely to move on to this point!) but I think as a general we, we can all do better. It's one thing discussing not body shaming and seeing people as more than their body but another to actually do it.

Reading through this thread highlights how much what might be a throwaway comment to another can actually affect some and bring up feelings of insecurity."

Good, I shall not single you out either as singling me out with your comments due to your other friendship groups in here....

I would add that a certain body type is not protection from shame either.... a twat is a twat if its thin, curvy or fat.... imho of course....

(I think I just rhymed or rapped or something....)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curvy means you have curves. Simple.

You’re welcome

I'm curvy....

Me too. I’m more confused as to what average means.

If you divide all curves by the total number of participants, and then make some shit up, you'll be yourself....ish... "

Yeah I’d go with this as the best bet!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Curvy means you have curves. Simple.

You’re welcome

I'm curvy....

Me too. I’m more confused as to what average means.

Since joining Fab, I’ve realised that even “the sky is blue” and “grass is green” are open to misinterpretation.

Haha and the world is flat "

Is it? Christ. So I could walk off the edge of it?! Forget whether or not I’m curvy, I have bigger problems now......

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Curvy (adj)

1. Curved

2. (Informal) curvaceous

Thesaurus:

adjective : shapely

bosomy

buxom

curvaceous

sonsie

sonsy

voluptuous

Hope that helps

Sonsie is such a beautiful word! I'll start using that now."

It was a new one on me, but I kinda like it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curvy (adj)

1. Curved

2. (Informal) curvaceous

Thesaurus:

adjective : shapely

bosomy

buxom

curvaceous

sonsie

sonsy

voluptuous

Hope that helps

Or. Look at the photo and decide if you like or not

That works too

My take away from this .... curvy means what you want it to mean, not what others dictate it should be"

I look at mens photos who describe themselves as athletic. In my view they do not always fit my version of what I consider athletic. I either like what I see or not. How they describe themselves is irrelevant. As long as there is a photo to be able to judge any initial attraction, I don't see any issues

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curvy (adj)

1. Curved

2. (Informal) curvaceous

Thesaurus:

adjective : shapely

bosomy

buxom

curvaceous

sonsie

sonsy

voluptuous

Hope that helps

Or. Look at the photo and decide if you like or not

That works too

My take away from this .... curvy means what you want it to mean, not what others dictate it should be

I look at mens photos who describe themselves as athletic. In my view they do not always fit my version of what I consider athletic. I either like what I see or not. How they describe themselves is irrelevant. As long as there is a photo to be able to judge any initial attraction, I don't see any issues "

I never even look at what people describe themselves as. I just look at the pics.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Reading through this thread highlights how much what might be a throwaway comment to another can actually affect some and bring up feelings of insecurity.

Good, I shall not single you out either as singling me out with your comments due to your other friendship groups in here....

I would add that a certain body type is not protection from shame either.... a twat is a twat if its thin, curvy or fat.... imho of course....

(I think I just rhymed or rapped or something....)"

My friendship groups (or what you perceive them to be ) don't affect my posting response. I'm replying to you as a poster. You're quite passionate about label removing and accepting people as they are which is a good stance to have. Really positive. What a person types can be different from how they act though - that's what I was focusing on. I did mean a general we can do better but...

As far as the twat thing goes, not sure what you're getting at but the thread is doing well on being respectful so will leave it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curvy means you have curves. Simple.

You’re welcome

I'm curvy....

Me too. I’m more confused as to what average means.

Since joining Fab, I’ve realised that even “the sky is blue” and “grass is green” are open to misinterpretation.

Haha and the world is flat

Is it? Christ. So I could walk off the edge of it?! Forget whether or not I’m curvy, I have bigger problems now...... "

Knowing my luck I’d have a few too many belinis and bloody fall off

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Curvy (adj)

1. Curved

2. (Informal) curvaceous

Thesaurus:

adjective : shapely

bosomy

buxom

curvaceous

sonsie

sonsy

voluptuous

Hope that helps

Or. Look at the photo and decide if you like or not

That works too

My take away from this .... curvy means what you want it to mean, not what others dictate it should be

I look at mens photos who describe themselves as athletic. In my view they do not always fit my version of what I consider athletic. I either like what I see or not. How they describe themselves is irrelevant. As long as there is a photo to be able to judge any initial attraction, I don't see any issues "

Monkey now ponders whether his description of himself is correct ... self doubt ... nooooo!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Curvy (adj)

1. Curved

2. (Informal) curvaceous

Thesaurus:

adjective : shapely

bosomy

buxom

curvaceous

sonsie

sonsy

voluptuous

Hope that helps

Or. Look at the photo and decide if you like or not

That works too

My take away from this .... curvy means what you want it to mean, not what others dictate it should be

I look at mens photos who describe themselves as athletic. In my view they do not always fit my version of what I consider athletic. I either like what I see or not. How they describe themselves is irrelevant. As long as there is a photo to be able to judge any initial attraction, I don't see any issues "

This is a good point

However, we have gone ever so slightly off topic... the main points I was reflecting on were the assumption that slimmer women have no body hang ups or insecurities (which I’ve seen a few times on the forums) - where does this come from?; and secondly whether a slim woman is more likely to be told “sorry you’re too slim to join in this” compared to the opposite way around; and how or why it’s seen as more acceptable that way around.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Curvy =/= beautiful

Curvy =/= nice

Curvy =/= kind

Curvy =/= loyal

Curvy =/= funny

Curvy =/= knowledgeable or smart

Same goes for any physical attribute, unless you have a tefal head with obvious extra brain capacity....!

Curvy don't matter much does it, why so why are ppl so territorial over a description...?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Reading through this thread highlights how much what might be a throwaway comment to another can actually affect some and bring up feelings of insecurity.

Good, I shall not single you out either as singling me out with your comments due to your other friendship groups in here....

I would add that a certain body type is not protection from shame either.... a twat is a twat if its thin, curvy or fat.... imho of course....

(I think I just rhymed or rapped or something....)

My friendship groups (or what you perceive them to be ) don't affect my posting response. I'm replying to you as a poster. You're quite passionate about label removing and accepting people as they are which is a good stance to have. Really positive. What a person types can be different from how they act though - that's what I was focusing on. I did mean a general we can do better but...

As far as the twat thing goes, not sure what you're getting at but the thread is doing well on being respectful so will leave it."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curvy (adj)

1. Curved

2. (Informal) curvaceous

Thesaurus:

adjective : shapely

bosomy

buxom

curvaceous

sonsie

sonsy

voluptuous

Hope that helps

Or. Look at the photo and decide if you like or not

That works too

My take away from this .... curvy means what you want it to mean, not what others dictate it should be

I look at mens photos who describe themselves as athletic. In my view they do not always fit my version of what I consider athletic. I either like what I see or not. How they describe themselves is irrelevant. As long as there is a photo to be able to judge any initial attraction, I don't see any issues

This is a good point

However, we have gone ever so slightly off topic... the main points I was reflecting on were the assumption that slimmer women have no body hang ups or insecurities (which I’ve seen a few times on the forums) - where does this come from?; and secondly whether a slim woman is more likely to be told “sorry you’re too slim to join in this” compared to the opposite way around; and how or why it’s seen as more acceptable that way around.

"

Oops. My bad

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Curvy =/= beautiful

Curvy =/= nice

Curvy =/= kind

Curvy =/= loyal

Curvy =/= funny

Curvy =/= knowledgeable or smart

Same goes for any physical attribute, unless you have a tefal head with obvious extra brain capacity....!

Curvy don't matter much does it, why so why are ppl so territorial over a description...?

"

I realise now that my choice of title has misled people ... it was my catch all title for reflecting on a number of points that I feel are interesting that have arisen from my own reflections on ‘what does curvy mean’. I think the title has unintentionally led to a debate on what curvy means; and whilst this is interesting in and of itself, it wasn’t the thread’s main purpose. I did try to clarify my main questions in the lengthy OP .... but I’m a rambler so I get it might now be completely clear

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Might *not* be completely clear, that should have been

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Curvy means big boobs small waist and round bum

The clue is in the name. A curvy road is just the same.

On here large women will use it but that's up to them. Pics don't lie

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Curvy means big boobs small waist and round bum

The clue is in the name. A curvy road is just the same.

On here large women will use it but that's up to them. Pics don't lie "

Please see above comment

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

[Removed by poster at 04/11/19 10:45:07]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Reading through this thread highlights how much what might be a throwaway comment to another can actually affect some and bring up feelings of insecurity.

Good, I shall not single you out either as singling me out with your comments due to your other friendship groups in here....

I would add that a certain body type is not protection from shame either.... a twat is a twat if its thin, curvy or fat.... imho of course....

(I think I just rhymed or rapped or something....)

My friendship groups (or what you perceive them to be ) don't affect my posting response. I'm replying to you as a poster. You're quite passionate about label removing and accepting people as they are which is a good stance to have. Really positive. What a person types can be different from how they act though - that's what I was focusing on. I did mean a general we can do better but...

As far as the twat thing goes, not sure what you're getting at but the thread is doing well on being respectful so will leave it."

I'm sorry my lovely x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Might *not* be completely clear, that should have been "

We are just numpties who blab anything that pops into our heads

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Regardless of body shape or size we all have our body hang ups. If this wasn't true there wouldn't be push up bras or diet pills. Companies make a fortune by making us feel insecure about ourselves.

With the acceptability of saying hurtful things to slimmer people. I think it's because we've all been sold that this is what we should aspire to. Thereby making it difficult for people to understand why you wouldn't be happy with your shape .

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Might *not* be completely clear, that should have been

We are just numpties who blab anything that pops into our heads "

Haha don’t be daft. It would just be more helpful to read the OP - but I know it’s probably tedious and long winded because as I’ve said; I do love a good waffle! (Just be thankful you aren’t subjected to my work emails )

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

I think what Nora posted earlier is very true

Average is possibly more confusing as to what it means

Curvy means to have curves

You vital stats aren't all very similar

It doesn't have to mean hourglass

It just means what you want it to mean

It's not as if admin insist on pics and agree if the description is correct

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think what Nora posted earlier is very true

Average is possibly more confusing as to what it means

Curvy means to have curves

You vital stats aren't all very similar

It doesn't have to mean hourglass

It just means what you want it to mean

It's not as if admin insist on pics and agree if the description is correct"

You missed the point of the OP too

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Regardless of body shape or size we all have our body hang ups. If this wasn't true there wouldn't be push up bras or diet pills. Companies make a fortune by making us feel insecure about ourselves.

With the acceptability of saying hurtful things to slimmer people. I think it's because we've all been sold that this is what we should aspire to. Thereby making it difficult for people to understand why you wouldn't be happy with your shape . "

So do you believe that generally people find it more acceptable to say “you’re looking a bit skinny” as opposed to saying “you’re looking a bit fat”? I personally believe this to be the case. Here’s a prime example - a colleague at work I haven’t seen for weeks (a larger lady) recently came into the office and after greeting me with the usual hellos took one look at me and said “Gosh have you lost weight? What’s your secret, please tell me”. Now, perhaps this was meant as a compliment, but to me, it didn’t feel anything like that. However if I’d said to her “gosh you’ve put weight on”, I’d be branded the office bitch. There’s no two ways about that.

So ... why the difference in acceptability? That’s my point I guess.

(Rambling again..... )

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

[Removed by poster at 04/11/19 10:53:53]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"I think what Nora posted earlier is very true

Average is possibly more confusing as to what it means

Curvy means to have curves

You vital stats aren't all very similar

It doesn't have to mean hourglass

It just means what you want it to mean

It's not as if admin insist on pics and agree if the description is correct

You missed the point of the OP too "

Ah but the end of the OP said is was merely musings... nothing specific to be answered, so I offered my opinion on what I thought curvy was

I shall return to my cushion fort in the corner now

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think what Nora posted earlier is very true

Average is possibly more confusing as to what it means

Curvy means to have curves

You vital stats aren't all very similar

It doesn't have to mean hourglass

It just means what you want it to mean

It's not as if admin insist on pics and agree if the description is correct

You missed the point of the OP too

Ah but the end of the OP said is was merely musings... nothing specific to be answered, so I offered my opinion on what I thought curvy was

I shall return to my cushion fort in the corner now "

I got it completely wrong too. Budge up

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"I think what Nora posted earlier is very true

Average is possibly more confusing as to what it means

Curvy means to have curves

You vital stats aren't all very similar

It doesn't have to mean hourglass

It just means what you want it to mean

It's not as if admin insist on pics and agree if the description is correct

You missed the point of the OP too

Ah but the end of the OP said is was merely musings... nothing specific to be answered, so I offered my opinion on what I thought curvy was

I shall return to my cushion fort in the corner now

I got it completely wrong too. Budge up "

Ok ... we can throw cushions at those who pass by

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think what Nora posted earlier is very true

Average is possibly more confusing as to what it means

Curvy means to have curves

You vital stats aren't all very similar

It doesn't have to mean hourglass

It just means what you want it to mean

It's not as if admin insist on pics and agree if the description is correct

You missed the point of the OP too

Ah but the end of the OP said is was merely musings... nothing specific to be answered, so I offered my opinion on what I thought curvy was

I shall return to my cushion fort in the corner now

I got it completely wrong too. Budge up

Ok ... we can throw cushions at those who pass by "

Oh no no no no. I was thinking of something more comfortable and inclusive

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I think after reading it all what the OP was trying to say is simply

It’s ok to call someone slim but not fat, but used the word curvy instead.

It’s not right to body shame anyone, but yes people are more likely to comment if someone had lost weight than put it on and most would say it as a compliment

How anyone takes any compliment / comment is down to them and their personal experiences, no two people are the same and everyone will react differently

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Regardless of body shape or size we all have our body hang ups. If this wasn't true there wouldn't be push up bras or diet pills. Companies make a fortune by making us feel insecure about ourselves.

With the acceptability of saying hurtful things to slimmer people. I think it's because we've all been sold that this is what we should aspire to. Thereby making it difficult for people to understand why you wouldn't be happy with your shape .

So do you believe that generally people find it more acceptable to say “you’re looking a bit skinny” as opposed to saying “you’re looking a bit fat”? I personally believe this to be the case. Here’s a prime example - a colleague at work I haven’t seen for weeks (a larger lady) recently came into the office and after greeting me with the usual hellos took one look at me and said “Gosh have you lost weight? What’s your secret, please tell me”. Now, perhaps this was meant as a compliment, but to me, it didn’t feel anything like that. However if I’d said to her “gosh you’ve put weight on”, I’d be branded the office bitch. There’s no two ways about that.

So ... why the difference in acceptability? That’s my point I guess.

(Rambling again..... ) "

Yes I totally agree with you. It's because skinny equals good to many where fat is bad to a lot of people. It's not surprising when you see how the media shames celebrities who have put weight on and then celebrate those who have lost weight.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think what Nora posted earlier is very true

Average is possibly more confusing as to what it means

Curvy means to have curves

You vital stats aren't all very similar

It doesn't have to mean hourglass

It just means what you want it to mean

It's not as if admin insist on pics and agree if the description is correct

You missed the point of the OP too

Ah but the end of the OP said is was merely musings... nothing specific to be answered, so I offered my opinion on what I thought curvy was

I shall return to my cushion fort in the corner now

I got it completely wrong too. Budge up "

No one is “wrong” on my thread (unless they are abusive or disrespectful). You’re right, I did leave it quite open and the title was misleading... and I do genuinely find the discussion about what curvy means to different people interesting; just couldn’t possibly stay on track if the thread discussed all of the above! But then again. Perhaps I’ve included too much in one thread for it to stay on track...

I am still interested in the 2 points I’ve mentioned above if anyone has any further musings

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think after reading it all what the OP was trying to say is simply

It’s ok to call someone slim but not fat, but used the word curvy instead.

It’s not right to body shame anyone, but yes people are more likely to comment if someone had lost weight than put it on and most would say it as a compliment

How anyone takes any compliment / comment is down to them and their personal experiences, no two people are the same and everyone will react differently "

Taken not given innit....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Regardless of body shape or size we all have our body hang ups. If this wasn't true there wouldn't be push up bras or diet pills. Companies make a fortune by making us feel insecure about ourselves.

With the acceptability of saying hurtful things to slimmer people. I think it's because we've all been sold that this is what we should aspire to. Thereby making it difficult for people to understand why you wouldn't be happy with your shape .

So do you believe that generally people find it more acceptable to say “you’re looking a bit skinny” as opposed to saying “you’re looking a bit fat”? I personally believe this to be the case. Here’s a prime example - a colleague at work I haven’t seen for weeks (a larger lady) recently came into the office and after greeting me with the usual hellos took one look at me and said “Gosh have you lost weight? What’s your secret, please tell me”. Now, perhaps this was meant as a compliment, but to me, it didn’t feel anything like that. However if I’d said to her “gosh you’ve put weight on”, I’d be branded the office bitch. There’s no two ways about that.

So ... why the difference in acceptability? That’s my point I guess.

(Rambling again..... )

Yes I totally agree with you. It's because skinny equals good to many where fat is bad to a lot of people. It's not surprising when you see how the media shames celebrities who have put weight on and then celebrate those who have lost weight. "

Yes media portrayals have a lot to answer for don’t they. I cringe every time anyone who isn’t my partner comments on my weight. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard “god you’re looking far too skinny”. It doesn’t feel nice

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I think no matter what you pick someone will always tell you that they think you are wrong. I had curvy on mine but got told so many times I wasn't I just put average.Im a size 16 so not skinny but not a bbw either. I go in a bit above my hips by I do have a jelly belly. So in the end I just put average people can look at my pics and judge for themselves and I always tell them anyhow.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Regardless of body shape or size we all have our body hang ups. If this wasn't true there wouldn't be push up bras or diet pills. Companies make a fortune by making us feel insecure about ourselves.

With the acceptability of saying hurtful things to slimmer people. I think it's because we've all been sold that this is what we should aspire to. Thereby making it difficult for people to understand why you wouldn't be happy with your shape .

So do you believe that generally people find it more acceptable to say “you’re looking a bit skinny” as opposed to saying “you’re looking a bit fat”? I personally believe this to be the case. Here’s a prime example - a colleague at work I haven’t seen for weeks (a larger lady) recently came into the office and after greeting me with the usual hellos took one look at me and said “Gosh have you lost weight? What’s your secret, please tell me”. Now, perhaps this was meant as a compliment, but to me, it didn’t feel anything like that. However if I’d said to her “gosh you’ve put weight on”, I’d be branded the office bitch. There’s no two ways about that.

So ... why the difference in acceptability? That’s my point I guess.

(Rambling again..... )

Yes I totally agree with you. It's because skinny equals good to many where fat is bad to a lot of people. It's not surprising when you see how the media shames celebrities who have put weight on and then celebrate those who have lost weight.

Yes media portrayals have a lot to answer for don’t they. I cringe every time anyone who isn’t my partner comments on my weight. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard “god you’re looking far too skinny”. It doesn’t feel nice "

Not quite the same but my youngest boy, is really slim and people tell me he'd too skinny as if I don't feed him. He's naturally slight that's his body type so I totally understand what you are saying.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Regardless of body shape or size we all have our body hang ups. If this wasn't true there wouldn't be push up bras or diet pills. Companies make a fortune by making us feel insecure about ourselves.

With the acceptability of saying hurtful things to slimmer people. I think it's because we've all been sold that this is what we should aspire to. Thereby making it difficult for people to understand why you wouldn't be happy with your shape .

So do you believe that generally people find it more acceptable to say “you’re looking a bit skinny” as opposed to saying “you’re looking a bit fat”? I personally believe this to be the case. Here’s a prime example - a colleague at work I haven’t seen for weeks (a larger lady) recently came into the office and after greeting me with the usual hellos took one look at me and said “Gosh have you lost weight? What’s your secret, please tell me”. Now, perhaps this was meant as a compliment, but to me, it didn’t feel anything like that. However if I’d said to her “gosh you’ve put weight on”, I’d be branded the office bitch. There’s no two ways about that.

So ... why the difference in acceptability? That’s my point I guess.

(Rambling again..... )

Yes I totally agree with you. It's because skinny equals good to many where fat is bad to a lot of people. It's not surprising when you see how the media shames celebrities who have put weight on and then celebrate those who have lost weight.

Yes media portrayals have a lot to answer for don’t they. I cringe every time anyone who isn’t my partner comments on my weight. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard “god you’re looking far too skinny”. It doesn’t feel nice

Not quite the same but my youngest boy, is really slim and people tell me he'd too skinny as if I don't feed him. He's naturally slight that's his body type so I totally understand what you are saying. "

Aww bless him

People do assume that naturally slight is the gift that keeps on giving. Don’t get me wrong. I like my figure - it’s taken me over 10 years to be able to say that and mean it though. And I believe that’s because I was continually told as a child/teen to “eat more” because I was “too skinny”. So the widely held assumption that slim people do not have body hang ups and are cool with being told to eat more, or that they are not “curvy” enough, or they have it somehow easier in life.... well, I’m here to tell everyone that’s categorically not the case.

So can we all be more respectful of each other’s body sizes and shapes, please.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone can be slim and curvy average and curvy

Me? I'm just fat with some shape I think it depends on the individual

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"Thanks for everyone’s contributions!

Really interesting discussion which was the aim.

I think my original points were (which I didn’t make clear in the first post because I’m a bit of a rambler at times!):

1) at times it feels “more acceptable” to make unpleasant or excluding comments about slimmer women. Not just on here, I mean life in general. An example is- a number of times in my late teens if I saw a family m_mber or friend I hadn’t seen for a while they’d think nothing of saying “oh god you’ve lost weight love, here, have a sandwich”. . Can you imagine the opposite way around - “bloody hell don’t eat that sandwich love; you’ve put loads of weight on”. The latter in my view would be seen as much less acceptable and more offensive. Why? I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights in my teens wishing I had “curves” or could put just a teeny bit of weight on. Is that experience not valid because my BMI is low?

2) linked to the above point - where on earth does this misconception come from, that “slim women have fewer problems / body hang ups”? Had I not be bullied at school for being so slim and under-developed, I have no doubt I’d feel more confident now with my clothes off or in a bikini.

Just to try and stop the thread going off track - hopefully this makes my original reflections a bit clearer "

I'm going to weigh in here (see what I did there?).

Disclaimer: I'm not curvy or shapely or ample, I'm fat af and I own it.

I haven't got much to add on your first point, except that it seems somehow more acceptable to show someone love in a nurturing "let me make you a meal" way than in a "lay off the pies" way. I'm not saying either are acceptable btw, just saying I completely understand your point.

However, people make value judgements on my worth based on my weight all the damn time. I have literally been asked in public "should you be eating that?" by complete randomers. Thankfully I'm 45 and a bolshie cow so it doesn't cut to the bone the way it did when I was a teenager and less secure of myself.

This site has been something of a trial for me because I see so many completely stunning women on here and I look down and judge myself ever more harshly, but that is 100% my issue and attempting to drag someone else down isn't going to do anything for me. No need for me to take my own lack of self-compassion out on anyone else so I choose to celebrate the beauty I see when I'm on here.

Your second point I do know a bit more about.

I went on my first diet at 7, when I was told that if I didn't lose weight nobody would like me and by the time I was a teenager my life would be over.

Over the years that message has been drummed home in a million little ways, and going to diet club after diet club I've been given the same mantra: losing weight will fix your life.

Everything that is wrong in your life is purely down to your weight, nothing else.

Boyfriend left? Yeah, because you're fat.

Didn't get that job you wanted? Not surprised, fatso.

Got no money? Well you're spending it on food because you're so fat.

It doesn't matter which class you go to (I've been to most of them!), you're encouraged to create this vision of the perfect life where you are slim and everything is disney-film perfect.

Its sold as body positivity and body confidence, but if it was really positivity instead of imagining all the brilliant things you'll be able to do once you've lost weight you'd be encouraged not to wait; to get out there and bloody do it now!

If you buy into that whole scenario, then it's easy to see why you'll believe slim people have fewer issues. Slim is the end goal, the only goal, and will make everything else better.

Me, if I woke up tomorrow looking like Cindy Crawford I'd still have no clothes that fit, still be a mardy cow and still have to go into work.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for everyone’s contributions!

Really interesting discussion which was the aim.

I think my original points were (which I didn’t make clear in the first post because I’m a bit of a rambler at times!):

1) at times it feels “more acceptable” to make unpleasant or excluding comments about slimmer women. Not just on here, I mean life in general. An example is- a number of times in my late teens if I saw a family m_mber or friend I hadn’t seen for a while they’d think nothing of saying “oh god you’ve lost weight love, here, have a sandwich”. . Can you imagine the opposite way around - “bloody hell don’t eat that sandwich love; you’ve put loads of weight on”. The latter in my view would be seen as much less acceptable and more offensive. Why? I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights in my teens wishing I had “curves” or could put just a teeny bit of weight on. Is that experience not valid because my BMI is low?

2) linked to the above point - where on earth does this misconception come from, that “slim women have fewer problems / body hang ups”? Had I not be bullied at school for being so slim and under-developed, I have no doubt I’d feel more confident now with my clothes off or in a bikini.

Just to try and stop the thread going off track - hopefully this makes my original reflections a bit clearer

I'm going to weigh in here (see what I did there?).

Disclaimer: I'm not curvy or shapely or ample, I'm fat af and I own it.

I haven't got much to add on your first point, except that it seems somehow more acceptable to show someone love in a nurturing "let me make you a meal" way than in a "lay off the pies" way. I'm not saying either are acceptable btw, just saying I completely understand your point.

However, people make value judgements on my worth based on my weight all the damn time. I have literally been asked in public "should you be eating that?" by complete randomers. Thankfully I'm 45 and a bolshie cow so it doesn't cut to the bone the way it did when I was a teenager and less secure of myself.

This site has been something of a trial for me because I see so many completely stunning women on here and I look down and judge myself ever more harshly, but that is 100% my issue and attempting to drag someone else down isn't going to do anything for me. No need for me to take my own lack of self-compassion out on anyone else so I choose to celebrate the beauty I see when I'm on here.

Your second point I do know a bit more about.

I went on my first diet at 7, when I was told that if I didn't lose weight nobody would like me and by the time I was a teenager my life would be over.

Over the years that message has been drummed home in a million little ways, and going to diet club after diet club I've been given the same mantra: losing weight will fix your life.

Everything that is wrong in your life is purely down to your weight, nothing else.

Boyfriend left? Yeah, because you're fat.

Didn't get that job you wanted? Not surprised, fatso.

Got no money? Well you're spending it on food because you're so fat.

It doesn't matter which class you go to (I've been to most of them!), you're encouraged to create this vision of the perfect life where you are slim and everything is disney-film perfect.

Its sold as body positivity and body confidence, but if it was really positivity instead of imagining all the brilliant things you'll be able to do once you've lost weight you'd be encouraged not to wait; to get out there and bloody do it now!

If you buy into that whole scenario, then it's easy to see why you'll believe slim people have fewer issues. Slim is the end goal, the only goal, and will make everything else better.

Me, if I woke up tomorrow looking like Cindy Crawford I'd still have no clothes that fit, still be a mardy cow and still have to go into work."

Thank you so much for your contribution and I’m sorry you’ve had such awful experiences.

I find it bizarre that this ‘Disney perfect’ view of slim is sold to people trying to lose weight. It really does perpetuate so many problems - it makes larger women feel as you described, that they must work towards this and that their self worth depends upon it. And it makes slimmer women feel dismissed as though “oh I’m slim so I clearly have a perfect life with no problems”. And thereby making it more likely slimmer women are on the receiving end of bitter comments by those striving to reach that as an ideal - all the while; it’s a completely false ideal.

Interesting stuff ...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lucie I just want to say I'm sorry if my comment earlier caused any upset because after reading through this thread I can see what it means to you and how my comment could have been hurtful, so I do apologise.

It's like I said earlier, it's all subjective and what I see as curvy isn't how it is and doesn't make me right and you wrong. I don't see the harm in labelling yourself and your body if it makes you happy and you're not hurting or leading anybody on in the process.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *zQTWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I’ll keep it simple...

In my opinion curvy is just someone with just that curves. Be it their breast or hips or butt, if it’s curvy it’s curvy.

You can be slim and still have curves. You can also be slightly ‘bigger’ and still have curves. Curve is an outline that isn’t straight and deviates from being a straight line. Anybody can have curves and be classed as curvy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lucie I just want to say I'm sorry if my comment earlier caused any upset because after reading through this thread I can see what it means to you and how my comment could have been hurtful, so I do apologise.

It's like I said earlier, it's all subjective and what I see as curvy isn't how it is and doesn't make me right and you wrong. I don't see the harm in labelling yourself and your body if it makes you happy and you're not hurting or leading anybody on in the process.

"

Oh not at all, no need to apologise!

Everyone is entitled to their view and that’s ok. I was more wondering about the perception of slimmer people as “problem free” and comments that are often made about “needing to eat more” etc, and where this comes from... I would never in a million years tell a larger lady she needed to “put that pie down”. Yet I’ve been told “get a pie down your neck” and barely anyone bats an eyelid at the offensiveness of this. So I was just reflecting on where this comes from...

You seem lovely from your posts so I know no offence was intended!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"Lucie I just want to say I'm sorry if my comment earlier caused any upset because after reading through this thread I can see what it means to you and how my comment could have been hurtful, so I do apologise.

It's like I said earlier, it's all subjective and what I see as curvy isn't how it is and doesn't make me right and you wrong. I don't see the harm in labelling yourself and your body if it makes you happy and you're not hurting or leading anybody on in the process.

Oh not at all, no need to apologise!

Everyone is entitled to their view and that’s ok. I was more wondering about the perception of slimmer people as “problem free” and comments that are often made about “needing to eat more” etc, and where this comes from... I would never in a million years tell a larger lady she needed to “put that pie down”. Yet I’ve been told “get a pie down your neck” and barely anyone bats an eyelid at the offensiveness of this. So I was just reflecting on where this comes from...

You seem lovely from your posts so I know no offence was intended! "

My observation would be that its forum acceptable to be rude . Flippant. Disdainful. And outspoken towards those who are or talk about holding less body fat than a perceived fab normal

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think after reading it all what the OP was trying to say is simply

It’s ok to call someone slim but not fat, but used the word curvy instead.

It’s not right to body shame anyone, but yes people are more likely to comment if someone had lost weight than put it on and most would say it as a compliment

How anyone takes any compliment / comment is down to them and their personal experiences, no two people are the same and everyone will react differently "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lucie I just want to say I'm sorry if my comment earlier caused any upset because after reading through this thread I can see what it means to you and how my comment could have been hurtful, so I do apologise.

It's like I said earlier, it's all subjective and what I see as curvy isn't how it is and doesn't make me right and you wrong. I don't see the harm in labelling yourself and your body if it makes you happy and you're not hurting or leading anybody on in the process.

Oh not at all, no need to apologise!

Everyone is entitled to their view and that’s ok. I was more wondering about the perception of slimmer people as “problem free” and comments that are often made about “needing to eat more” etc, and where this comes from... I would never in a million years tell a larger lady she needed to “put that pie down”. Yet I’ve been told “get a pie down your neck” and barely anyone bats an eyelid at the offensiveness of this. So I was just reflecting on where this comes from...

You seem lovely from your posts so I know no offence was intended!

My observation would be that its forum acceptable to be rude . Flippant. Disdainful. And outspoken towards those who are or talk about holding less body fat than a perceived fab normal

"

Oh really? Why is that I wonder?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Morning all

I’ve been inspired to think more about this recently after being involved in discussions on a couple of other threads. I’m not necessarily looking for a definitive answer to this question title, as I’m aware that many will say “define it however you like” etc. I was more hoping for a bit of discussion on the issues this brings up.

On one particular thread, a man asked for women to comment if they identify themselves as any of the words ‘bbw/thick/curvy”. I commented yes I see myself as curvy. I was told by another user that I wasn’t essentially because I’m slim. However, I class myself as curvy because I have 36C breasts and what I’m *told* is a nice shapely bum (I’m also not looking for comments on my body shape)... is curvy not a shape; or on Fab does it refer to size?

On another thread, a man of a larger lady commented “slim women don’t have as many problems”. Oh, how I wish this were true! I think he was referring to body hang ups and insecurities. But for a woman who was bullied at high school for being “flat chested” and “anorexic” (I didn’t have an eating disorder - this is the name cruel people chose because I was naturally very slim); I find this an absurd suggestion. I’m obviously having the last laugh now - but, these experiences are very much still there for me psychologically at times. So to assume that slim equals free of insecurity, I feel, is ridiculous.

My point here is... on the first thread, it felt almost excluding (i.e. sorry you’re not curvy enough to be here - if anyone told a larger lady “you’re not slim enough to be on this thread” there would outrage I’m sure!); and in the 2nd example, it feels as though people assume slim people are somehow privileged in terms of better mental health and fewer body hang ups. It would be lovely if people didn’t apply these blanket generalisations, wouldn’t it?

There isn’t a specific question to be answered I don’t think; just some general musings ....

Happy Monday all "

Just checked OP's gallery, purely out of kindness and as a public service, obviously.

I can see both sides. A slim young lady with distinct and attractive curvy bits to be sure.

Maybe we need another category that just says "Wow" to cover OP and some others.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Morning all

I’ve been inspired to think more about this recently after being involved in discussions on a couple of other threads. I’m not necessarily looking for a definitive answer to this question title, as I’m aware that many will say “define it however you like” etc. I was more hoping for a bit of discussion on the issues this brings up.

On one particular thread, a man asked for women to comment if they identify themselves as any of the words ‘bbw/thick/curvy”. I commented yes I see myself as curvy. I was told by another user that I wasn’t essentially because I’m slim. However, I class myself as curvy because I have 36C breasts and what I’m *told* is a nice shapely bum (I’m also not looking for comments on my body shape)... is curvy not a shape; or on Fab does it refer to size?

On another thread, a man of a larger lady commented “slim women don’t have as many problems”. Oh, how I wish this were true! I think he was referring to body hang ups and insecurities. But for a woman who was bullied at high school for being “flat chested” and “anorexic” (I didn’t have an eating disorder - this is the name cruel people chose because I was naturally very slim); I find this an absurd suggestion. I’m obviously having the last laugh now - but, these experiences are very much still there for me psychologically at times. So to assume that slim equals free of insecurity, I feel, is ridiculous.

My point here is... on the first thread, it felt almost excluding (i.e. sorry you’re not curvy enough to be here - if anyone told a larger lady “you’re not slim enough to be on this thread” there would outrage I’m sure!); and in the 2nd example, it feels as though people assume slim people are somehow privileged in terms of better mental health and fewer body hang ups. It would be lovely if people didn’t apply these blanket generalisations, wouldn’t it?

There isn’t a specific question to be answered I don’t think; just some general musings ....

Happy Monday all "

Be what or who you want to be, someone will always tell you the opposite anyway. So it shouldn't really matter. As long as you're confident in yourself. If you're not then being curvy or not should be the least of ones worries.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lucie I just want to say I'm sorry if my comment earlier caused any upset because after reading through this thread I can see what it means to you and how my comment could have been hurtful, so I do apologise.

It's like I said earlier, it's all subjective and what I see as curvy isn't how it is and doesn't make me right and you wrong. I don't see the harm in labelling yourself and your body if it makes you happy and you're not hurting or leading anybody on in the process.

Oh not at all, no need to apologise!

Everyone is entitled to their view and that’s ok. I was more wondering about the perception of slimmer people as “problem free” and comments that are often made about “needing to eat more” etc, and where this comes from... I would never in a million years tell a larger lady she needed to “put that pie down”. Yet I’ve been told “get a pie down your neck” and barely anyone bats an eyelid at the offensiveness of this. So I was just reflecting on where this comes from...

You seem lovely from your posts so I know no offence was intended!

My observation would be that its forum acceptable to be rude . Flippant. Disdainful. And outspoken towards those who are or talk about holding less body fat than a perceived fab normal

"

I'll probs get bollocked for this, but I think a little bit of rude and flippant can actually be quite helpful in here and in society in general. If the environment is too sterile then we forget how to debate and argue a point and we become "mentally fat" and too slow to tackle life's fuckwits.....

See, flippant and rude ^

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also.....

Egg timers are curvy but they come in a variety of sizes. Little diddy mini ones all the way up to mahoosive.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grateful for this post however as it made me question my own behaviour and I'll hopefully learn and adjust slightly....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lucie I just want to say I'm sorry if my comment earlier caused any upset because after reading through this thread I can see what it means to you and how my comment could have been hurtful, so I do apologise.

It's like I said earlier, it's all subjective and what I see as curvy isn't how it is and doesn't make me right and you wrong. I don't see the harm in labelling yourself and your body if it makes you happy and you're not hurting or leading anybody on in the process.

Oh not at all, no need to apologise!

Everyone is entitled to their view and that’s ok. I was more wondering about the perception of slimmer people as “problem free” and comments that are often made about “needing to eat more” etc, and where this comes from... I would never in a million years tell a larger lady she needed to “put that pie down”. Yet I’ve been told “get a pie down your neck” and barely anyone bats an eyelid at the offensiveness of this. So I was just reflecting on where this comes from...

You seem lovely from your posts so I know no offence was intended!

My observation would be that its forum acceptable to be rude . Flippant. Disdainful. And outspoken towards those who are or talk about holding less body fat than a perceived fab normal

I'll probs get bollocked for this, but I think a little bit of rude and flippant can actually be quite helpful in here and in society in general. If the environment is too sterile then we forget how to debate and argue a point and we become "mentally fat" and too slow to tackle life's fuckwits.....

See, flippant and rude ^

"

I agree. If everyone is always nice and 'Stepford wives'-ish, that's not real life. There will come a time when no adjectives can be used... for fear of upsetting or annoying someone.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I got a message last week that read....

'You're not curvy, you're lush'

But I think I am slim and curvy (like you OP - 30FF boobs, size 10)

But also his message kind of inferred that you can't be curvy and attractive.

I'd say it's shape not size, but some people think it means a bigger shape.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also.....

Egg timers are curvy but they come in a variety of sizes. Little diddy mini ones all the way up to mahoosive."

The lady in the red dress in the Simply Be advert had a mahoosive arse. She looked absolutely amazing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can anyone in here, explain to me how tits make a person curvy? I'm not even asking for a friend???

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
back to top