Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to The Lounge |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
I think anything written is harder to verbalize in a way that your point gets across completely. A lot can get lost in interpretation and people view things from their own experiences so hard to know sometimes how it will be viewed. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No (There you go - simple, concise and cannot be misinterpreted)." This.  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Do you struggle with putting what you know makes sense in your head in to correct words? " Always as english is not my first language. I think my post always end up long winded and not succinct enough. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why would you care if your point comes across as offensive? As long as you are not trying to be offensive and are making a point then its the other persons problem if they cant take it. For example, abortion. I am pro life, i think it is a life that is ended and killing a baby for having down syndrome is pretty much disgusting. This will offend most women, and will get me blocked on here by women, but I don't really care as I did not form this opinion to offend them. So why care if they do get offended by it? Just avoid directly insulting people, by saying stuff like "Are you stupid?" that kind of stuff is really low to do in debates, and in my mind the other person has won the debate." I specifically said about it being not from a point that worries about offending people, but in a way that allows the discussion to stay about the topic and not devolve in to a raw emotional stance on beliefs what is right and wrong etc. People will get offended no matter what you say, but something worded in the wrong way can throw an entire discussion in to a downward spiral. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why would you care if your point comes across as offensive? As long as you are not trying to be offensive and are making a point then its the other persons problem if they cant take it. For example, abortion. I am pro life, i think it is a life that is ended and killing a baby for having down syndrome is pretty much disgusting. This will offend most women, and will get me blocked on here by women, but I don't really care as I did not form this opinion to offend them. So why care if they do get offended by it? Just avoid directly insulting people, by saying stuff like "Are you stupid?" that kind of stuff is really low to do in debates, and in my mind the other person has won the debate."  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why would you care if your point comes across as offensive? As long as you are not trying to be offensive and are making a point then its the other persons problem if they cant take it. For example, abortion. I am pro life, i think it is a life that is ended and killing a baby for having down syndrome is pretty much disgusting. This will offend most women, and will get me blocked on here by women, but I don't really care as I did not form this opinion to offend them. So why care if they do get offended by it? Just avoid directly insulting people, by saying stuff like "Are you stupid?" that kind of stuff is really low to do in debates, and in my mind the other person has won the debate. I specifically said about it being not from a point that worries about offending people, but in a way that allows the discussion to stay about the topic and not devolve in to a raw emotional stance on beliefs what is right and wrong etc. People will get offended no matter what you say, but something worded in the wrong way can throw an entire discussion in to a downward spiral. " Also to add on to that, I don't just mean opinions. I mean ideas and concepts of things. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Do you struggle with putting what you know makes sense in your head in to correct words? Do you have ideas and good talking points about controversial subjects, but find it difficult to accurately word them in a way that is not so much about not offending people, but more that your point is understood as something to dissect through discussion without it being misinterpreted? " I thought I did but some people do understand what I'm trying to say. Some don't. Sometimes I word things a certain way to encourage debate/ interaction. It's interesting to see how different people interpret things differently. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Do you struggle with putting what you know makes sense in your head in to correct words? Do you have ideas and good talking points about controversial subjects, but find it difficult to accurately word them in a way that is not so much about not offending people, but more that your point is understood as something to dissect through discussion without it being misinterpreted? " In the age of 240 characters and memes, its all about snappy quips and putdowns. Nobody is interested in discussion or debate in our polarised world. Besides people just love to be offended and outraged. Even Obama criticised 'woke' culture for its purity tests. Nuance and subtly are just words in the dictionary now. Have a look in the politics forum, 'marxists' and 'libtards' are both in use. Why debate when you can just do extreme name calling instead? You don't have to debate facts when you can just invalidate the person instead. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why would you care if your point comes across as offensive? As long as you are not trying to be offensive and are making a point then its the other persons problem if they cant take it. For example, abortion. I am pro life, i think it is a life that is ended and killing a baby for having down syndrome is pretty much disgusting. This will offend most women, and will get me blocked on here by women, but I don't really care as I did not form this opinion to offend them. So why care if they do get offended by it? Just avoid directly insulting people, by saying stuff like "Are you stupid?" that kind of stuff is really low to do in debates, and in my mind the other person has won the debate. I specifically said about it being not from a point that worries about offending people, but in a way that allows the discussion to stay about the topic and not devolve in to a raw emotional stance on beliefs what is right and wrong etc. People will get offended no matter what you say, but something worded in the wrong way can throw an entire discussion in to a downward spiral. " I think one of the main reasons discussions on *here* can go so dramatically off track (if that’s what you’re asking as opposed to in life in general), is because we are missing the non-verbals, and we rely on these so much to convey meaning and intent. If we all sat in a room together and had the same debates we have on here, I think we’d probably find the getting sidetracked and thrown off topic might happen less. But then again.... it depends on how emotive the topic itself is ... so maybe not? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Do you struggle with putting what you know makes sense in your head in to correct words? Do you have ideas and good talking points about controversial subjects, but find it difficult to accurately word them in a way that is not so much about not offending people, but more that your point is understood as something to dissect through discussion without it being misinterpreted? I thought I did but some people do understand what I'm trying to say. Some don't. Sometimes I word things a certain way to encourage debate/ interaction. It's interesting to see how different people interpret things differently. " Yes, this is exactly what I mean. As I say I'm not bothered about if somebody is offended by what I say (especially if what I say is not intended to) but the way something is worded can greatly mean the difference in which direction a discussion can go. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I try to word things as they’re intended for discussion, but either I get it wrong or people look for things that aren’t there sometimes. I really don’t know. What I perceive to be simple points, can be completely turned on their head into something it’s not. Very frustrating, but I can’t control what others read into things when my points very straight forward. " Exactly what I mean. Not obout offending, just making sure the discussion heads in the intended direction that I envision when I'm trying to word it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think one of the main reasons discussions on *here* can go so dramatically off track (if that’s what you’re asking as opposed to in life in general), is because we are missing the non-verbals, and we rely on these so much to convey meaning and intent. If we all sat in a room together and had the same debates we have on here, I think we’d probably find the getting sidetracked and thrown off topic might happen less. But then again.... it depends on how emotive the topic itself is ... so maybe not? " Yes, people will read your posts in an angry voice in their head. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think one of the main reasons discussions on *here* can go so dramatically off track (if that’s what you’re asking as opposed to in life in general), is because we are missing the non-verbals, and we rely on these so much to convey meaning and intent. If we all sat in a room together and had the same debates we have on here, I think we’d probably find the getting sidetracked and thrown off topic might happen less. But then again.... it depends on how emotive the topic itself is ... so maybe not? Yes, people will read your posts in an angry voice in their head." Absolutely. Or a sarcastic voice, or an unfriendly one.... etc. We fill in the gaps ourselves in the absence of non verbal cues. And we won’t always be correct. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think one of the main reasons discussions on *here* can go so dramatically off track (if that’s what you’re asking as opposed to in life in general), is because we are missing the non-verbals, and we rely on these so much to convey meaning and intent. If we all sat in a room together and had the same debates we have on here, I think we’d probably find the getting sidetracked and thrown off topic might happen less. But then again.... it depends on how emotive the topic itself is ... so maybe not? Yes, people will read your posts in an angry voice in their head. Absolutely. Or a sarcastic voice, or an unfriendly one.... etc. We fill in the gaps ourselves in the absence of non verbal cues. And we won’t always be correct. " That is why saying the correct thing in a certain way with good word usage is critical to the first impression of what people read. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think one of the main reasons discussions on *here* can go so dramatically off track (if that’s what you’re asking as opposed to in life in general), is because we are missing the non-verbals, and we rely on these so much to convey meaning and intent. If we all sat in a room together and had the same debates we have on here, I think we’d probably find the getting sidetracked and thrown off topic might happen less. But then again.... it depends on how emotive the topic itself is ... so maybe not? Yes, people will read your posts in an angry voice in their head. Absolutely. Or a sarcastic voice, or an unfriendly one.... etc. We fill in the gaps ourselves in the absence of non verbal cues. And we won’t always be correct. That is why saying the correct thing in a certain way with good word usage is critical to the first impression of what people read. " Of course. How often do you think people manage that on here though? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Sara | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think one of the main reasons discussions on *here* can go so dramatically off track (if that’s what you’re asking as opposed to in life in general), is because we are missing the non-verbals, and we rely on these so much to convey meaning and intent. If we all sat in a room together and had the same debates we have on here, I think we’d probably find the getting sidetracked and thrown off topic might happen less. But then again.... it depends on how emotive the topic itself is ... so maybe not? Yes, people will read your posts in an angry voice in their head. Absolutely. Or a sarcastic voice, or an unfriendly one.... etc. We fill in the gaps ourselves in the absence of non verbal cues. And we won’t always be correct. That is why saying the correct thing in a certain way with good word usage is critical to the first impression of what people read. " are you saying we have to all be like you no, opinions is what we have and it is listening to others opinions that is the hardest being that we are not judgmental in honouring peoples views and stances. I love the way we are all different and I love the different views we all have life would be so damn boring bit like boring battered sausage and chips!
As for written speech it all depends on how much command you have of the english dictionary! I do not read it for bed time reading at all thanks. Sometimes we need to stop and think before we speak and write to each other but the mobile phone has made use text talk and we then lose the art of written and spoken english or whatever language you speak or languages.
Common sense tells you to stop and think before you write, bit like writing an essay. If you are trying to tell your tutor like I am going to do about childhood then use of language skills is very important so that they understand what I am thinking and learning in the art of english language. Remember whatever you read to not be judgmental and listen out for key points | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think one of the main reasons discussions on *here* can go so dramatically off track (if that’s what you’re asking as opposed to in life in general), is because we are missing the non-verbals, and we rely on these so much to convey meaning and intent. If we all sat in a room together and had the same debates we have on here, I think we’d probably find the getting sidetracked and thrown off topic might happen less. But then again.... it depends on how emotive the topic itself is ... so maybe not? Yes, people will read your posts in an angry voice in their head." No, not an aggressive person but listening to others is key without being judgmental | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think one of the main reasons discussions on *here* can go so dramatically off track (if that’s what you’re asking as opposed to in life in general), is because we are missing the non-verbals, and we rely on these so much to convey meaning and intent. If we all sat in a room together and had the same debates we have on here, I think we’d probably find the getting sidetracked and thrown off topic might happen less. But then again.... it depends on how emotive the topic itself is ... so maybe not? Yes, people will read your posts in an angry voice in their head. Absolutely. Or a sarcastic voice, or an unfriendly one.... etc. We fill in the gaps ourselves in the absence of non verbal cues. And we won’t always be correct. That is why saying the correct thing in a certain way with good word usage is critical to the first impression of what people read. are you saying we have to all be like you no, opinions is what we have and it is listening to others opinions that is the hardest being that we are not judgmental in honouring peoples views and stances. I love the way we are all different and I love the different views we all have life would be so damn boring bit like boring battered sausage and chips!
As for written speech it all depends on how much command you have of the english dictionary! I do not read it for bed time reading at all thanks. Sometimes we need to stop and think before we speak and write to each other but the mobile phone has made use text talk and we then lose the art of written and spoken english or whatever language you speak or languages.
Common sense tells you to stop and think before you write, bit like writing an essay. If you are trying to tell your tutor like I am going to do about childhood then use of language skills is very important so that they understand what I am thinking and learning in the art of english language. Remember whatever you read to not be judgmental and listen out for key points "No, I certainly wasn’t saying we all have to be like me. I’m unsure where that message was given in anything I’ve said. I was conveying the importance of the non verbal aspects of communication and how they are lost on an online forum, hence misinterpretations and potential for going “off track”. I don’t read the dictionary at bedtime either but I have a reasonable command of the English language. I got a little confused about the point you were making to be honest. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Writing is a craft. It takes a lot of practice to say precisely what you mean. Part of that is tangible, the words on the page, and part of it is about clarity of thinking - in order to write precisely what you mean, you have to know precisely what you mean. " Totally. And in verbal communication you can correct, edit, use non-verbals to support your point, etc in real time. On here, once the message is posted, you can’t then go “hang on, sorry, I don’t think I put that across in the best way, what I actually mean is...”. Well you can; but by the time you’ve typed your correction, several people have posted an emotionally laden misinterpretation of what you’ve said...and so it continues. And so the thread goes off topic .... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Writing is a craft. It takes a lot of practice to say precisely what you mean. Part of that is tangible, the words on the page, and part of it is about clarity of thinking - in order to write precisely what you mean, you have to know precisely what you mean. Totally. And in verbal communication you can correct, edit, use non-verbals to support your point, etc in real time. On here, once the message is posted, you can’t then go “hang on, sorry, I don’t think I put that across in the best way, what I actually mean is...”. Well you can; but by the time you’ve typed your correction, several people have posted an emotionally laden misinterpretation of what you’ve said...and so it continues. And so the thread goes off topic .... " Exactly this. And so much verbal communication is made up of utterances that have, like, you know, no meaning at all. We all do that to give our brains time to work out what it is we are saying. With the written word you don’t have that luxury. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 arrrgggh 
It's mainly why I keep my replies short and sweet. 
Jo.Xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I definitely struggle with this so much, I often know exactly what I want to say but can't find the words. Even for this thread! arrrgggh
It's mainly why I keep my replies short and sweet.
Jo.Xx "Mostly it’s just practice. The more you write the better you get. There are a few of us on here who enjoy writing and receiving longer messages. Feel free to get it touch if you want a pen pal  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I prefer explaining myself in writing. My thoughts have time to slow down and line up before I type them. When I speak, I jump all over the topics, brainstorm, ask random questions etc. But its passionate. So makes up for clarity! " You’re writing can be rather passionate too I wonder how a real conversation would flow? Xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I definitely struggle with this so much, I often know exactly what I want to say but can't find the words. Even for this thread! arrrgggh
It's mainly why I keep my replies short and sweet.
Jo.Xx
Mostly it’s just practice. The more you write the better you get. There are a few of us on here who enjoy writing and receiving longer messages. Feel free to get it touch if you want a pen pal "I used to love writing and was quite articulate. Now not so much. 
Thank you for the offer though it's very much appreciated. 
Jo.Xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Do you struggle with putting what you know makes sense in your head in to correct words? Do you have ideas and good talking points about controversial subjects, but find it difficult to accurately word them in a way that is not so much about not offending people, but more that your point is understood as something to dissect through discussion without it being misinterpreted? " Frequently. I'm dyslexic. In my head, I know exactly what I want to say, but writing it down isn't easy, and quite often things I've written come across the wrong way  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"In person, not at all. On here and in other forms of written communication where body language and tone of voice are lost, yes... " Yes I agree | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I prefer explaining myself in writing. My thoughts have time to slow down and line up before I type them. When I speak, I jump all over the topics, brainstorm, ask random questions etc. But its passionate. So makes up for clarity! You’re writing can be rather passionate too I wonder how a real conversation would flow? Xx"Flawlessly. x
I need more practice soon. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I definitely struggle with this so much, I often know exactly what I want to say but can't find the words. Even for this thread! arrrgggh
It's mainly why I keep my replies short and sweet.
Jo.Xx
Mostly it’s just practice. The more you write the better you get. There are a few of us on here who enjoy writing and receiving longer messages. Feel free to get it touch if you want a pen pal
I used to love writing and was quite articulate.
Now not so much.
Thank you for the offer though it's very much appreciated.
Jo.Xx "Jo, so modest! I love your funky way with words and kindness oozing all over! Always make me smile. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I definitely struggle with this so much, I often know exactly what I want to say but can't find the words. Even for this thread! arrrgggh
It's mainly why I keep my replies short and sweet.
Jo.Xx
Mostly it’s just practice. The more you write the better you get. There are a few of us on here who enjoy writing and receiving longer messages. Feel free to get it touch if you want a pen pal
I used to love writing and was quite articulate.
Now not so much.
Thank you for the offer though it's very much appreciated.
Jo.Xx
Jo, so modest! I love your funky way with words and kindness oozing all over! Always make me smile. "
You're too kind FM.
But I'm more than happy to put more smiles on your face. 
You have such a beautiful smile.
Jo.Xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Do you struggle with putting what you know makes sense in your head in to correct words? Do you have ideas and good talking points about controversial subjects, but find it difficult to accurately word them in a way that is not so much about not offending people, but more that your point is understood as something to dissect through discussion without it being misinterpreted? " Do you mean verbally or written word? Or just on fab? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
