FabSwingers.com forum: Heads turning, people whispering (2)

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The last thread got too big so lets continue this as people are now having a go saying that I joined a swingers site but I'm not a swinger...is that why people comment led on me (black male) entering a bar with a white female. I think not. Lets stick to the original thread.

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By *ikeandmollyCouple
over a year ago

swindon

Why? Why carry on with this? Conversations involve the conversation evolved into why are you joined the site in the first place.

Molly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why? Why carry on with this? Conversations involve the conversation evolved into why are you joined the site in the first place.

Molly

XX"

If you don't like it then don't reply. Simple.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

You're a swinger, get over yourself.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Would help if you properly summarised your original point OP.

I read this and immediately think it's about whether you're a swinger or not

I realise that isn't your point, but others may not

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think it's probably best to leave alone when conversations go pear shaped.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're a swinger, get over yourself. "

Maybe, maybe not.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

OK... I am with the OP on this. I do not consider myself a swinger as (1) I do not see couples, (2) I would not be in the scene if I were in a relationship or marriage and (3) I like to be emotionally involved even in a casual set-up.

We are all different.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You said

"I'm also joined Amazon prime last week just for free delivery...does that now mean I'm interested in their services...NO!"

I would say yes you are interested in their services ie their free delivery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The last thread got too big so lets continue this as people are now having a go saying that I joined a swingers site but I'm not a swinger...is that why people comment led on me (black male) entering a bar with a white female. I think not. Lets stick to the original thread.

I read your last thread and I don't understand why someone would think you were a swinger from being in a bar with a white woman who could be a friend, girlfriend, wife and even if you were a swinger (which I know you aren't) , what would make someone think you were or "inter racial cuckholding". I wonder why some people think that way.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

Those guys thought there was a hotwife scenario going down, which in essence will put you in a swinging relationship but that was not the case.

I suppose as a single person I would say in a swinging relationship not necessary a swinger per se semantic lol

Why open another thread with the same topic, feels like everyone is trying to say I'm right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a swinger, get over yourself. "

What is a swinger?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"You said

"I'm also joined Amazon prime last week just for free delivery...does that now mean I'm interested in their services...NO!"

I would say yes you are interested in their services ie their free delivery"

I thought the same.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

OK I have read your other post again and the replies. At first I thought to myself...how do you know they were talking about you and your friend? Could you have been listening into a conversation and jumped to your conclusion? Were they sniggering because you got the wrong impression and they were laughing at that?

I also thought of last week when we walked into somewhere new and were looked at by a few people as we walked in. I think that can happen anywhere and to anyone so maybe you were reading more into things that were not there.

Then I read some comments on the thread about what they thought of it and can see why you and others came to that conclusion

I do think if people think racism is a thing of the past then they are naive , no matter how many POC friends they have

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

They assumed they weren't in a traditional relationship. Could have been just from body language as well as race. They were correct.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They assumed they weren't in a traditional relationship. Could have been just from body language as well as race. They were correct. "

So does that mean because we entered a bar together we must be in some sort of relationship, traditional or not? Cant friends of two different colours and different sexes go for a drink/bite to eat?! Obvs not it seems.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"They assumed they weren't in a traditional relationship. Could have been just from body language as well as race. They were correct.

Body language. It's not hard to read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They assumed they weren't in a traditional relationship. Could have been just from body language as well as race. They were correct. "
Because they were two different races, they couldn't have been in a traditional

relationship?

Can you tell me what body language I should use next time I go to a bar with a white person (I'm mixed race) so I know lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They assumed they weren't in a traditional relationship. Could have been just from body language as well as race. They were correct. Because they were two different races, they couldn't have been in a traditional

relationship?

Can you tell me what body language I should use next time I go to a bar with a white person (I'm mixed race) so I know lol"

A placard that states you are/are not in a relationship, apparently.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

It feels like there's something missing from the story. I'm not sure why you think the comments directed at you were anything to do with race. The guys sound like dickheads, but I can't see that anything racist was said? What makes you think they were?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

OK again, I can't keep asking people to stick within the rules so don't be surprised if you end up with a ban if you carry on.

If you are going to post do it without attacking people...calling people names ( whatever the name ) is not allowed on the forum

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Don't forget, that the forums are meant to be fun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't forget, that the forums are meant to be fun."

A classic case of "lets brush over the topic in hand because it doesn't concern me".

Sorry for airing my thoughts in the original post. I didn't realise that the forum rules stated these forums are for fun only.

Let's all bury our heads in the sand.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Don't forget, that the forums are meant to be fun.

A classic case of "lets brush over the topic in hand because it doesn't concern me".

Sorry for airing my thoughts in the original post. I didn't realise that the forum rules stated these forums are for fun only.

Let's all bury our heads in the sand."

That's not what was meant. The forums are for adult discussion of topics and fun, not name calling and mud slinging ... that's what was meant I believe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't forget, that the forums are meant to be fun.

A classic case of "lets brush over the topic in hand because it doesn't concern me".

Sorry for airing my thoughts in the original post. I didn't realise that the forum rules stated these forums are for fun only.

Let's all bury our heads in the sand.

That's not what was meant. The forums are for adult discussion of topics and fun, not name calling and mud slinging ... that's what was meant I believe"

My post wasn't aimed at you.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"Don't forget, that the forums are meant to be fun.

A classic case of "lets brush over the topic in hand because it doesn't concern me".

Sorry for airing my thoughts in the original post. I didn't realise that the forum rules stated these forums are for fun only.

Let's all bury our heads in the sand."

Well they're there for all to read.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

If the point of your original post was "some people are racist", then the answer is "yes, some people are". Apart from that answer, what do you want?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Don't forget, that the forums are meant to be fun.

A classic case of "lets brush over the topic in hand because it doesn't concern me".

Sorry for airing my thoughts in the original post. I didn't realise that the forum rules stated these forums are for fun only.

Let's all bury our heads in the sand.

That's not what was meant. The forums are for adult discussion of topics and fun, not name calling and mud slinging ... that's what was meant I believe

My post wasn't aimed at you."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

relationship?

Can you tell me what body language I should use next time I go to a bar with a white person (I'm mixed race) so I know lol"

Good question.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

relationship?

Can you tell me what body language I should use next time I go to a bar with a white person (I'm mixed race) so I know lol"

I don't think I have been in a bar with a white man for a long time. I must not be attractive enough to be assumed to be in any illicit situation with the men in question.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Don't forget, that the forums are meant to be fun.

A classic case of "lets brush over the topic in hand because it doesn't concern me".

Sorry for airing my thoughts in the original post. I didn't realise that the forum rules stated these forums are for fun only.

Let's all bury our heads in the sand."

I tried to get back to the topic, even asked you a question about it and everything, but you ignored that in order to keep arguing. So you're derailing your own thread at this point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't forget, that the forums are meant to be fun.

A classic case of "lets brush over the topic in hand because it doesn't concern me".

Sorry for airing my thoughts in the original post. I didn't realise that the forum rules stated these forums are for fun only.

Let's all bury our heads in the sand.

I tried to get back to the topic, even asked you a question about it and everything, but you ignored that in order to keep arguing. So you're derailing your own thread at this point. "

Sorry for not replying. I completely got side tracked. What made me think they were racist was the comment I over heard which was wrong on all levels and the constant glances they kept making towards me then her. It was so obvious they were aiming their comments towards us followed by childish giggles and muttering.

I think this is leading to a case of "well it hasn't happened to me/us so who cares"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never seen an OP have so much support then absolutely implode like this

You're the one going off topic OP!

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Although I generally agree that singles are not really swingers, especially when they are just looking for other singles... I also think that it doesn't matter, all types are welcome as far as I'm concerned.

Labels are not really important, everyone should just enjoy themself the best they can.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't forget, that the forums are meant to be fun.

A classic case of "lets brush over the topic in hand because it doesn't concern me".

Sorry for airing my thoughts in the original post. I didn't realise that the forum rules stated these forums are for fun only.

Let's all bury our heads in the sand.

I tried to get back to the topic, even asked you a question about it and everything, but you ignored that in order to keep arguing. So you're derailing your own thread at this point.

I think this is leading to a case of "well it hasn't happened to me/us so who cares" "

What was your lady friend wearing?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Don't forget, that the forums are meant to be fun.

A classic case of "lets brush over the topic in hand because it doesn't concern me".

Sorry for airing my thoughts in the original post. I didn't realise that the forum rules stated these forums are for fun only.

Let's all bury our heads in the sand.

I tried to get back to the topic, even asked you a question about it and everything, but you ignored that in order to keep arguing. So you're derailing your own thread at this point.

I think this is leading to a case of "well it hasn't happened to me/us so who cares" "

I get that they were talking about you and generally being childish, but I still can't see a race issue here. Some people are just dicks, I feel you've read something into it that's not there.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Labels are not really important, everyone should just enjoy themself the best they can.

Cal"

Very true, my opinion however, is that if you're interested in multi partner sex and going to clubs, you're probably a swinger.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't forget, that the forums are meant to be fun.

A classic case of "lets brush over the topic in hand because it doesn't concern me".

Sorry for airing my thoughts in the original post. I didn't realise that the forum rules stated these forums are for fun only.

Let's all bury our heads in the sand.

I tried to get back to the topic, even asked you a question about it and everything, but you ignored that in order to keep arguing. So you're derailing your own thread at this point.

I think this is leading to a case of "well it hasn't happened to me/us so who cares"

What was your lady friend wearing?"

She was dressed very conservative. Jeans, nice top and a jacket. She's a beauty and doesn't flaunt it. If she did then I could see why that would make them talk. I know racism and I know when it's happening. The people that are saying that maybe I read into it a bit too much haven't experienced racism, clearly.

If one of you experienced racism and knew you were on the receiving end of it and I sit here saying "ah well you probably just imagined it and I think you're reading far too much into it" I don't think you'd be as welcoming to my take on it. It's the age old thing that you don't know how it feels until it happens to you.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Very true, my opinion however, is that if you're interested in multi partner sex and going to clubs, you're probably a swinger. "

Not a swinger, just way cooler than the average cat.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bottom line is that other couples walked in to bar, before these four guys left, and they didn't feel the need to comment. May I add that these couples were white. Now were they couples or were they friends, I really don't know. But the fact that this four jack the lads felt the need to comment on us two says it all.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Probably jealous racists, maybe a little turned on.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Bottom line is that other couples walked in to bar, before these four guys left, and they didn't feel the need to comment. May I add that these couples were white. Now were they couples or were they friends, I really don't know. But the fact that this four jack the lads felt the need to comment on us two says it all. "

I am a bit confused now, you say they left sharpish after you spoke to them but a lot seems to have happened before they left

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am a bit confused now, you say they left sharpish after you spoke to them but a lot seems to have happened before they left"

Yes...after I spoke to them. I didnt go into the bar and go straight up to them and put them on the spot!

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

OP, we're all very sad about what you experienced. But, you're flogging a dead horse with this story. Quit while you're ahead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"
surely thats life peoples heads turn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

relationship?

Can you tell me what body language I should use next time I go to a bar with a white person (I'm mixed race) so I know lol

I don't think I have been in a bar with a white man for a long time. I must not be attractive enough to be assumed to be in any illicit situation with the men in question.

"
Me neither

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, we're all very sad about what you experienced. But, you're flogging a dead horse with this story. Quit while you're ahead.

Yep, agree with that OP. Leave it. The fact you’re out with a stunner and experienced some shit, singletons on here are hardly likely to sympathise. They’ll pick your argument apart and try skew it to something that justifies their remark. They’ll totally ignore the basic foundation of your argument which is a bunch of wankers said something inappropriate. They won’t see that. They’ll just be content in pulling your reasons apart for why you think it happened. They’re single and not up to much at the weekend, you’re ahead. No tea and sympathy here for someone in your position I’m afraid. Anyway, why would you want it? You don’t need it. Go shag yer arse off and bollocks to everyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, we're all very sad about what you experienced. But, you're flogging a dead horse with this story. Quit while you're ahead.

"
Agree with this

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"OP, we're all very sad about what you experienced. But, you're flogging a dead horse with this story. Quit while you're ahead.

Im not sure it was particularly singletons seeing the holes in his story, but i agree with the sentiment.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

I saw no holes. I am single.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP, we're all very sad about what you experienced. But, you're flogging a dead horse with this story. Quit while you're ahead.

I'll agree with that. Thank you. But she's busy this weekend with her parents so not shagging her arse off for me this weekend haha. But I also agree...bollocks to the rest of you!

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I saw no holes. I am single."

indeed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can see this going tits arse up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

actually I am pink skinned with white blotches and brown moles I love being multi cultural and what my skin is does not matter or does it the way you bracket black male I thought it was offense to use the word black but more so to emphasise what skin colour we are...Now going red with rage!

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Im fairly sure the use of "black" and indeed "white" etc is ok. Not ideal, but ok. At the moment.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

He's calling himself a black male, so I doubt it's offensive

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's a grey area in my opinion. If a larger person referred to themself as fat then I don't think there's anything wrong with that as it's coming from the individuals themself. If I was was to call a larger person fat then I would completely understand why they would take offence.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He's calling himself a black male, so I doubt it's offensive

This exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw no holes. I am single.

indeed. "

Singletons generally don’t see any holes All that can change though if you set your stall out right and don’t debate semantics too much. Some women like that..and men.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I saw no holes. I am single.

indeed.

Singletons generally don’t see any holes All that can change though if you set your stall out right and don’t debate semantics too much. Some women like that..and men.

I'll take your word for it.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"I saw no holes. I am single.

indeed.

Singletons generally don’t see any holes All that can change though if you set your stall out right and don’t debate semantics too much. Some women like that..and men.

Someone in another thread said couples see themselves as elite, and some couples were up in arms. I wonder why if they are by definition smarter than anyone who does not "share".

It really is simple: the OP found himself on the receiving end of racist behaviour. He has shared it with us. Some people who were not there think they know best.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I saw no holes. I am single.

indeed.

Singletons generally don’t see any holes All that can change though if you set your stall out right and don’t debate semantics too much. Some women like that..and men.

Someone in another thread said couples see themselves as elite, and some couples were up in arms. I wonder why if they are by definition smarter than anyone who does not "share".

It really is simple: the OP found himself on the receiving end of racist behaviour. He has shared it with us. Some people who were not there think they know best."

"Up in arms"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw no holes. I am single.

indeed.

Singletons generally don’t see any holes All that can change though if you set your stall out right and don’t debate semantics too much. Some women like that..and men.

Someone in another thread said couples see themselves as elite, and some couples were up in arms. I wonder why if they are by definition smarter than anyone who does not "share".

It really is simple: the OP found himself on the receiving end of racist behaviour. He has shared it with us. Some people who were not there think they know best."

What will you do to satisfy your curiosity then? It’s very frustrating to wonder for too long

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"I saw no holes. I am single.

indeed.

Singletons generally don’t see any holes All that can change though if you set your stall out right and don’t debate semantics too much. Some women like that..and men.

Someone in another thread said couples see themselves as elite, and some couples were up in arms. I wonder why if they are by definition smarter than anyone who does not "share".

It really is simple: the OP found himself on the receiving end of racist behaviour. He has shared it with us. Some people who were not there think they know best.

What will you do to satisfy your curiosity then? It’s very frustrating to wonder for too long

No, it is not. I am happy being "vanilla", thank you very much.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"I saw no holes. I am single.

indeed.

Singletons generally don’t see any holes All that can change though if you set your stall out right and don’t debate semantics too much. Some women like that..and men.

Someone in another thread said couples see themselves as elite, and some couples were up in arms. I wonder why if they are by definition smarter than anyone who does not "share".

It really is simple: the OP found himself on the receiving end of racist behaviour. He has shared it with us. Some people who were not there think they know best.

"Up in arms"

Us bloody foreigners no good English speak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw no holes. I am single.

indeed.

Singletons generally don’t see any holes All that can change though if you set your stall out right and don’t debate semantics too much. Some women like that..and men.

Someone in another thread said couples see themselves as elite, and some couples were up in arms. I wonder why if they are by definition smarter than anyone who does not "share".

It really is simple: the OP found himself on the receiving end of racist behaviour. He has shared it with us. Some people who were not there think they know best.

What will you do to satisfy your curiosity then? It’s very frustrating to wonder for too long

No, it is not. I am happy being "vanilla", thank you very much."

No need to thank me; was just wondering what you might do to stop yourself wondering. Play your cards right, send a nice message to the OP, you might get lucky. He’s said his partner is otherwise engaged this weekend!

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman
over a year ago

in the shadows

Op I've read your original thread and I would have to say this is standard behaviour. I only meet black guys. There are some pubs I'm happy to go too for a social and others I won't due to this kind of behaviour. Regardless though there is always someone that will look at us and make a comment and if I see it, I happily give them something to talk about

All you can do is rise above it !

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