FabSwingers.com forum: Heads turning, people whispering

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So about a week ago myself (black male) and a FWB (white lady) were out having a drink and on entering a particular bar people began turning their heads and made both myself and my FWB feel uncomfortable and on edge. She went and found a table and I went to order the dribks. I over heard a group of four guys (white males) blatantly talking about us, one of which clearly said "Yeah her husband must be at home looking after the kids". Just for the record, she has no children and has never been marired and isn't in a relationship with anyone.

Wow I thought. This day in age and people still behave like this. I wasn't going to let it slide so I went over and said that I over heard them talking about us so if they thought we were that interesting they should join us for a drink. Needless to say they pretty much downed thier drinks and left in a flash. I nor my FWB are stupid and we both know that this was all down to one thing...skin colour. It's not as if we were in an area where different races/skin colours/cultures don't exist...we were in Manchester City centre.

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm surprised that happened in Manchester. Thought the people there were more enlightened.

Hope it didn't ruin your night.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I arranged to meet a black guy for a social but he was very particular about where he would and wouldn't go for that very reason. It really surprised me tbh.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

How bizarre. Why would they assume you weren't a couple?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, ignorance unfortunately still exists in this day and age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately Iv had something similar happen. I was with a guy I had been dating for a while, he was Asian. We overheard a couple talking about us the male said "well I guess he must be rich"

The woman then said "well I wouldn't date one of them even if he was a millionaire".

I was livid and wanted to go and say something but he said it wasn't worth it and he was used to it.

This was in Central London!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Unfortunately Iv had something similar happen. I was with a guy I had been dating for a while, he was Asian. We overheard a couple talking about us the male said "well I guess he must be rich"

The woman then said "well I wouldn't date one of them even if he was a millionaire".

I was livid and wanted to go and say something but he said it wasn't worth it and he was used to it.

This was in Central London! "

It's unreal. It's still infuriating me as I type. It was the most satisfying thing when I asked them to join me and my FWB. They didn't know what to do with themselves.

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By *modDMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

I hear many stories (different scenarios) similar to the this, it doesn’t surprise me one bit.

It’s good to highlight it though. There’s got to be those on here who may be tempted to make a similar judgement but reading this from the thread starter’s perspective may make them think before they speak.

Always speak out somewhere, never think that you should just have to sit there and take it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately Iv had something similar happen. I was with a guy I had been dating for a while, he was Asian. We overheard a couple talking about us the male said "well I guess he must be rich"

The woman then said "well I wouldn't date one of them even if he was a millionaire".

I was livid and wanted to go and say something but he said it wasn't worth it and he was used to it.

This was in Central London!

It's unreal. It's still infuriating me as I type. It was the most satisfying thing when I asked them to join me and my FWB. They didn't know what to do with themselves. "

I know and I totally get why you are angry that happened to you, my blood still boils when I think of the situation I described and that was 2 years ago. Well done for saying something as I still regret that I didn't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Unfortunately Iv had something similar happen. I was with a guy I had been dating for a while, he was Asian. We overheard a couple talking about us the male said "well I guess he must be rich"

The woman then said "well I wouldn't date one of them even if he was a millionaire".

I was livid and wanted to go and say something but he said it wasn't worth it and he was used to it.

This was in Central London!

It's unreal. It's still infuriating me as I type. It was the most satisfying thing when I asked them to join me and my FWB. They didn't know what to do with themselves.

I'm not going to lie, I really had to think about what I was going to say as I didn't want to upset my FWB, cause a scene or make myself look bad. I just wish society would be more accepting and attitudes would change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately Iv had something similar happen. I was with a guy I had been dating for a while, he was Asian. We overheard a couple talking about us the male said "well I guess he must be rich"

The woman then said "well I wouldn't date one of them even if he was a millionaire".

I was livid and wanted to go and say something but he said it wasn't worth it and he was used to it.

This was in Central London! "

Disgusting behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People really are such dicks sometimes, Jesus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is still a sign of the times I'm afraid. We like to think things have moved but obviously they have not. I live near Cambridge and once questioned a mechanic about work done on my car...he said why was I asking being thick fucking northerner (his words). Got nothing to do with actual common sense or the fact I have a degree in engineering.....

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"People really are such dicks sometimes, Jesus

could not agree more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst this is so very wrong and unacceptable, sadly,this level of racism is still alive and well,in this country and further afield.I wouldn't dignify their ignorant,bigoted bollocks with a response frankly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately Iv had something similar happen. I was with a guy I had been dating for a while, he was Asian. We overheard a couple talking about us the male said "well I guess he must be rich"

The woman then said "well I wouldn't date one of them even if he was a millionaire".

I was livid and wanted to go and say something but he said it wasn't worth it and he was used to it.

This was in Central London!

It's unreal. It's still infuriating me as I type. It was the most satisfying thing when I asked them to join me and my FWB. They didn't know what to do with themselves.

I quite agree and that's exactly why I kept my mouth shut but still well done you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and some people think racism doesn't happen anymore..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's depressing in 2019!

But if I'm honest I feel subtle racism most of the time in most places.

It's the depressing truth.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"and some people think racism doesn't happen anymore..

I think we are going backwards.

I expected this in the early 80s when it was happening to me then but not now.

It has been acceptable to be racist but unacceptable to call a racist racist. Challenging racism usually results in me being called racist for questioning white privilege. It happens on here enough for us to recognise this, surely?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"That's depressing in 2019!

But if I'm honest I feel subtle racism most of the time in most places.

It's the depressing truth.

Everyday racism with the accompanying micro-aggression is so wearing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow! I'm so glad I've never encountered this when I've been out with my black lover. Shocking behaviour.

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By *modDMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

"and some people think racism doesn't happen anymore..

I think we are going backwards.

Yes, I think we’ve been through a period of complacency and we’re just starting to realise it.

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By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

I find that hard to believe. I dated a black man for 14 months and never had a problem. But maybe London is slightly different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and some people think racism doesn't happen anymore..

I think we are going backwards.

I expected this in the early 80s when it was happening to me then but not now.

So do I. I think the political swing to the right, the rise of nationalism and wide spread use of social media is making things worse.

Racists realise there are quite a lot of them around and it gives them confidence to be more openly so.

A lot of people don't even realise they're being racist. Just clinging onto misinformation, ignorance and what they've been taught by their parents/peergroup.

Media doesnt help when it focuses on migration/immigration/emigration and fams the flames for story selling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's depressing in 2019!

But if I'm honest I feel subtle racism most of the time in most places.

It's the depressing truth.

Everyday racism with the accompanying micro-aggression is so wearing.

It really is!

I choose not to react to it.

I want a peaceful life and it's not my job to change anyone's learned bigoted behaviour

But I have to be honest and admit that it does hurt my feelings at times.

Especially from people that I never expected it from.

When it's from strangers like the OP's experience it doesnt affect me as much - but when it's from my peers or work colleagues I can't help but feel like I dont fit in.

Being mixed race is complicated enough without anyone expressing their views that you are less of a person than them because of your skin colour!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does seem a very odd thing to experience in this day and age in a city like Manchester. Can only guess that your date was a hottie and they were jealous. Pay them no attention or thought....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find that hard to believe. I dated a black man for 14 months and never had a problem. But maybe London is slightly different."

Then I have to say you have been lucky! It's happened to me in London.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I am not sure there is a rise in nationalism. I think there may be a rejection of euro federalism and 'the project' and the 'building a new Empire'. Euro conformity is just nationalism under a bigger umbrella imo

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By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

"I find that hard to believe. I dated a black man for 14 months and never had a problem. But maybe London is slightly different.

Then I have to say you have been lucky! It's happened to me in London. "

Maybe. Or just the fact that he is 6'4"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find that hard to believe. I dated a black man for 14 months and never had a problem. But maybe London is slightly different.

Then I have to say you have been lucky! It's happened to me in London.

Maybe. Or just the fact that he is 6'4"?

Seriously that could be it. I'm very happy it hasn't happened to you though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I find that hard to believe. I dated a black man for 14 months and never had a problem. But maybe London is slightly different.

Then I have to say you have been lucky! It's happened to me in London.

Maybe. Or just the fact that he is 6'4"?

**6'2"** but that still doesn't explain the initial comment made by one of the guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not sure there is a rise in nationalism. I think there may be a rejection of euro federalism and 'the project' and the 'building a new Empire'. Euro conformity is just nationalism under a bigger umbrella imo"

Really? Not in USA? Brazil? Turkey? India? Pakistan? The UK? More and more countries are electing slightly, or outrageously right of centre politicians who sweep in to power on a tide of Nationalistic, anti migratory messages.

Maybe that's just how I see it, admittedly being a bit of Lefty.

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By *modDMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive. "

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us."

Exactly my point that they are naive. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening.

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By *modDMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us.

Exactly my point that they are naive. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening. "

White people who hang around in a white crowd just wouldn’t be expected to see it. That’s why it needs highlighting whenever it happens.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Maybe that's just how I see it, admittedly being a bit of Lefty. "

I get your drift.. and respect your opinion. I am not sure the world is ready for the global economy which I think is controlled by the few for the benefit of the few.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I disagree but to go further would turn this into a thread that belongs lower down the Fab fora list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So about a week ago myself (black male) and a FWB (white lady) were out having a drink and on entering a particular bar people began turning their heads and made both myself and my FWB feel uncomfortable and on edge. She went and found a table and I went to order the dribks. I over heard a group of four guys (white males) blatantly talking about us, one of which clearly said "Yeah her husband must be at home looking after the kids". Just for the record, she has no children and has never been marired and isn't in a relationship with anyone.

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?"

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us.

Exactly my point that they are naive. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening.

White people who hang around in a white crowd just wouldn’t be expected to see it. That’s why it needs highlighting whenever it happens."

My best friend from primary school until the age of 19 was black. He was the only black person, along with his brother within a 15 mile radius; neither experienced “racism”. I have no idea if Scotland is just more accepting, although, I feel that a lot of people see a problem where there may not be one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers. "

I feel that you’ve explained my point....

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?"

It really doesn't indicate they were aware that it was a swinger thing. It's a common trope.

When you experience racism all the time you become attuned to it. You feel the intent.

The comments that, on the surface, appear to be not very much are there. It's not being over-sensitive, another common accusation, because the micro-aggressions build up to a point that you can't just shrug it off.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us.

Exactly my point that they are naive. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening.

White people who hang around in a white crowd just wouldn’t be expected to see it. That’s why it needs highlighting whenever it happens.

You are absolutely confident that your best black friend never experienced racism? Wow!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I feel that you’ve explained my point.... "

I was there and witnessed it all. I know what happened and I know exactly what they meant and how they meant it. I'm just glad the majority of individuals, who have posted here, see where I'm coming from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

It really doesn't indicate they were aware that it was a swinger thing. It's a common trope.

When you experience racism all the time you become attuned to it. You feel the intent.

Surely the comment was more derogatory towards her “white” husband, than the “black” man out with his wife then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does seem a very odd thing to experience in this day and age in a city like Manchester. Can only guess that your date was a hottie and they were jealous. Pay them no attention or thought.... "

Very good point! The OP didn't say they used racist language, he just assumed that's what they meant. Perhaps it was an age difference issue. Or pure jealousy.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Sorry you had to experience that hot chocs.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

It really doesn't indicate they were aware that it was a swinger thing. It's a common trope.

When you experience racism all the time you become attuned to it. You feel the intent.

Surely the comment was more derogatory towards her “white” husband, than the “black” man out with his wife then?"

You will continue to believe what you believe. You are proving my points with every post so I am disengaging from responding to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

It really doesn't indicate they were aware that it was a swinger thing. It's a common trope.

When you experience racism all the time you become attuned to it. You feel the intent.

I 100% agree with you. I've experienced racism and know when it's happening and the intent. When four grown men are sniggering then look over at you and begin sniggering again, that says to me it's more than innocent.

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

It really doesn't indicate they were aware that it was a swinger thing. It's a common trope.

When you experience racism all the time you become attuned to it. You feel the intent.

Surely the comment was more derogatory towards her “white” husband, than the “black” man out with his wife then?"

.. you're struggling with this aren't you?

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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago

London

Racism will never die, it will always be with us

Today it's in stealth mode. When I walk into an establishment, it's either wow look at him or eh, what's his sort doing here

For me i view it as I'm more interesting that what they are.

I've been in the city of love which is meant to be Paris, and on more than one occasion people spitting on the ground after walking pass me because my partner is white.

I've been in London with a work colleague when she's at the cash point, I'm standing off her maybe a couple of feet behind in my suit holding my breifcase, and the good officers of the law pulling up ignoring me completely and asking my friend if she was ok.

For me these are subtle forms of racism, because as Lickety said the 80s was hardcore

So Op when you walk into an establishment and the place goes quite and people start to whisper,

Walk tall walk broad and treat your fwb (although I'm not into that terminology) like a queen.

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By *ikeandmollyCouple
over a year ago

swindon

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers. "

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us.

Exactly my point that they are naive. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening.

White people who hang around in a white crowd just wouldn’t be expected to see it. That’s why it needs highlighting whenever it happens.

You are absolutely confident that your best black friend never experienced racism? Wow!"

He literally told me that he was glad that he wasn’t ginger, due to the abuse I got as a kid. He mentioned that he was supposed to get it, though hadn’t. I have never known anyone that has had racist abuse. I know that junkies and d*unks shout it in shops, though, they target any difference a person may have - if they wear glasses, are over-weight, bald/balding etc.

Everyone is so quick to jump on the racism card. Even if someone is racist, it’s hardly the majority, it’s a very very small group of individuals most would never wish to interact with anyway...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does seem a very odd thing to experience in this day and age in a city like Manchester. Can only guess that your date was a hottie and they were jealous. Pay them no attention or thought....

Very good point! The OP didn't say they used racist language, he just assumed that's what they meant. Perhaps it was an age difference issue. Or pure jealousy."

Ok so she is a year younger than me. Yes they probably were jealous and rightly so, she's a beauty but does jealousy warrant that sort of behaviour. Would they have said the same thing if I was white? I'm pretty sure they wouldn't so why does it make it ok to say it under this circumstance?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?"

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here.

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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago

London

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us.

Exactly my point that they are naive. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening.

White people who hang around in a white crowd just wouldn’t be expected to see it. That’s why it needs highlighting whenever it happens.

You are absolutely confident that your best black friend never experienced racism? Wow!"

Typical, the old chestnut

My best mate at school was black....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

XX"

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us.

Exactly my point that they are naive. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening.

White people who hang around in a white crowd just wouldn’t be expected to see it. That’s why it needs highlighting whenever it happens.

Did no one see the interview this week with the brother of Stephen Lawrence,he said they had never,ever had any experience of racism before his death?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us.

Exactly my point that they are naive. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening.

White people who hang around in a white crowd just wouldn’t be expected to see it. That’s why it needs highlighting whenever it happens.

You are absolutely confident that your best black friend never experienced racism? Wow!

Typical, the old chestnut

My best mate at school was black...."

Keep polishing that suit of armour. Neither had an issue, both dated white girls and had no issues. Those that go looking for issues generally end up finding it.

Adieu.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us.

Exactly my point that they are naive. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening.

White people who hang around in a white crowd just wouldn’t be expected to see it. That’s why it needs highlighting whenever it happens.

Did no one see the interview this week with the brother of Stephen Lawrence,he said they had never,ever had any experience of racism before his death?"

Clutching at straws.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here."
So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Walk tall walk broad and treat your fwb (although I'm not into that terminology) like a queen.

I did and do just that. After I put them in their place I called her over and said openly that "I think we've upset them so their now leaving" and she took their spot at the side of the bar.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago

London

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us.

Exactly my point that they are naive. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening.

White people who hang around in a white crowd just wouldn’t be expected to see it. That’s why it needs highlighting whenever it happens.

You are absolutely confident that your best black friend never experienced racism? Wow!

Typical, the old chestnut

My best mate at school was black....

Keep polishing that suit of armour. Neither had an issue, both dated white girls and had no issues. Those that go looking for issues generally end up finding it.

Adieu. "

Oops touchy feely

Been a two week fab virgin you need to get yourself some spurs and grow a pear

The Op is telling everyone his experience and people are saying it's not true

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I have an Indian friend. When we are out together we get some very odd looks from fellow Asians. It’s really quite funny lol.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *akboyMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"People saying its hard to believe that it happened in London or Manchester are very naive.

Or possibly they just haven’t witnessed it? I agree to a point though, it’s all around us.

Exactly my point that they are naive. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening.

White people who hang around in a white crowd just wouldn’t be expected to see it. That’s why it needs highlighting whenever it happens.

You are absolutely confident that your best black friend never experienced racism? Wow!

Everyone is so quick to jump on the racism card. Even if someone is racist, it’s hardly the majority, it’s a very very small group of individuals most would never wish to interact with anyway..."

I hope you're just some weird troll. Just because your friend hasn't experienced it and you don't know anybody it's happened to, it definitely exists and happens even in 2019

You're almost defending the people that made the comments

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ikeandmollyCouple
over a year ago

swindon

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers. "

And that is one of the things that make hard for us that are who want to use this site as it’s ment to be used for ‘ swingers’ to find and meet other swingers though social meeting and get togethers not to look for dates.

Molly

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does seem a very odd thing to experience in this day and age in a city like Manchester. Can only guess that your date was a hottie and they were jealous. Pay them no attention or thought....

Very good point! The OP didn't say they used racist language, he just assumed that's what they meant. Perhaps it was an age difference issue. Or pure jealousy.

Where did I say it was ok??

Yes of course they would have said the same thing if you were white. Or worse. Or different. Some people are arseholes and pick on anyone.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Do people know about internalised racism?

Do people understand racism is structural?

Do people understand that you can experience racism and deny it because that is a way of fitting in and coping?

Do people understand that racism, misogyny and homophobia are enabled and emboldened by casual acceptance and treating it as 'banter'?

Do people understand you can have friends of colour and still be racist?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex."

What has his profile got to do with anything? His profile is none of your business!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

xX"

Says who?

This site is for anyone who wants to use it as long as it's in the site rules!

Why have you turned this into but your "real swingers"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

xX"

There's very very many individuals on here who are here just to meet others for sex on an individual basis. I know people who are on this site and never meet people, they are here purely for the forums. Are they wrong in using this site for that purpose only?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

What has his profile got to do with anything? His profile is none of your business!"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snowflakes, nothing but flakes of snow - everywhere

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

What has his profile got to do with anything? His profile is none of your business!"

Absolutely agree

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

Says who?

This site is for anyone who wants to use it as long as it's in the site rules!

Why have you turned this into but your "real swingers" "

Absolutely agree

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago

London

And if the Op is a swinger or not

Those who say well maybe they are swinger

So are you saying that your wife, sister, girlfriend or mother goes for a drink with a man of Anglo Saxon appearance. That's normal but if she goes with a man of colour they maybe swigers

Is that what your saying?

But my best friend and school was black

apsoulute TOSH!!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex."

Why have people turned on the OP just because he has said he doesn't see himself as a swinger!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

I think it's nice that interracial cuckolding has kinda gone mainstream enough to be suspected/recognised.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"And if the Op is a swinger or not

Those who say well maybe they are swinger

So are you saying that your wife, sister, girlfriend or mother goes for a drink with a man of Anglo Saxon appearance. That's normal but if she goes with a man of colour they maybe swigers

Is that what your saying?

But my best friend and school was black

apsoulute TOSH!!"

What?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if the Op is a swinger or not

Those who say well maybe they are swinger

So are you saying that your wife, sister, girlfriend or mother goes for a drink with a man of Anglo Saxon appearance. That's normal but if she goes with a man of colour they maybe swigers

Is that what your saying?

But my best friend and school was black

apsoulute TOSH!!"

I was busy with your mother. Your friends mentioned the same thing. It is why I alluded to such a scenario, clearly.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if the Op is a swinger or not

Those who say well maybe they are swinger

So are you saying that your wife, sister, girlfriend or mother goes for a drink with a man of Anglo Saxon appearance. That's normal but if she goes with a man of colour they maybe swigers

Is that what your saying?

But my best friend and school was black

apsoulute TOSH!!"

I'm assuming they are inferring that the men thought it was a cuck situation. 'BBC, white wife, sad husband at home.'

Because that's the only possible reason a black man would be in public with a white woman.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has all gone very off track!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do people know about internalised racism?

Do people understand racism is structural?

Do people understand that you can experience racism and deny it because that is a way of fitting in and coping?

Do people understand that racism, misogyny and homophobia are enabled and emboldened by casual acceptance and treating it as 'banter'?

Do people understand you can have friends of colour and still be racist?

Not a lot if people seem to

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Snowflakes, nothing but flakes of snow - everywhere

OK, I wasn't going to bite but...

A casual insult of people's lived experience is offensive.

Of course we're snowflakes for not shrugging off all the slights and telling our white friends that we've never experienced racism. We're just weak, fragile little snowflakes.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ikeandmollyCouple
over a year ago

swindon

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

The last thing I will say is the site is called fab SWINGERS so why would you join if your not? Again I am sorry you had this happen to you and fwb maybe try swinging could show that not everyone is the same as some of the dick heads out there we are a very welcoming lot

Molly

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

XX"

Good grief.

Are you the swinging police?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago

London

"Snowflakes, nothing but flakes of snow - everywhere

Come back where you going I haven't finished with you yet

Unless you're off to find that best friend of yours

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And if the Op is a swinger or not

Those who say well maybe they are swinger

So are you saying that your wife, sister, girlfriend or mother goes for a drink with a man of Anglo Saxon appearance. That's normal but if she goes with a man of colour they maybe swigers

Is that what your saying?

But my best friend and school was black

apsoulute TOSH!!

I'm assuming they are inferring that the men thought it was a cuck situation. 'BBC, white wife, sad husband at home.'

Because that's the only possible reason a black man would be in public with a white woman. "

Yes this is what I also thought they were alluding to. God forbid to individuals of different skin colours go for a drink together.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

Why have people turned on the OP just because he has said he doesn't see himself as a swinger! "

It's just playing out the micro-aggression that appears on most threads about race towards PoC who post about their experience.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This has all gone very off track!

Hasn't it just

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

Good grief.

Are you the swinging police? "

And you got slammed the other day when you said some couples have this attitude! Iv seen 2 just on this thread.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

XX"

The non swingers are taking over. Its basically a fuck site now. I love it

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

Why have people turned on the OP just because he has said he doesn't see himself as a swinger!

It's just playing out the micro-aggression that appears on most threads about race towards PoC who post about their experience.

I was just going to type something very similar.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Snowflakes, nothing but flakes of snow - everywhere

OK, I wasn't going to bite but...

A casual insult of people's lived experience is offensive.

Of course we're snowflakes for not shrugging off all the slights and telling our white friends that we've never experienced racism. We're just weak, fragile little snowflakes.

I honestly wouldn’t waste your precious time and energy - you should have seen some of his comments on a previous thread earlier today. Similar type of stuff. Tried to tell me repeatedly that I felt “guilted” into having sex with black men. It was all very bizarre. My only advice with regard to him is disengage at an earlier point.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

The non swingers are taking over. Its basically a fuck site now. I love it

Fab-on-the-shelfers

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

Good grief.

Are you the swinging police? "

It seems that way doesn't it. Some people are here just for the forums and never meet. As long as people stick to the rules and regs of the site that's all that matters. It doesn't say anywhere that to be on this site you MUST be a swinger!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Snowflakes, nothing but flakes of snow - everywhere

OK, I wasn't going to bite but...

A casual insult of people's lived experience is offensive.

Of course we're snowflakes for not shrugging off all the slights and telling our white friends that we've never experienced racism. We're just weak, fragile little snowflakes.

You do enjoy taking things out of context, don’t you.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Snowflakes, nothing but flakes of snow - everywhere

OK, I wasn't going to bite but...

A casual insult of people's lived experience is offensive.

Of course we're snowflakes for not shrugging off all the slights and telling our white friends that we've never experienced racism. We're just weak, fragile little snowflakes.

You do enjoy taking things out of context, don’t you. "

Like I said - disengaged from it

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Molly

The non swingers are taking over. Its basically a fuck site now. I love it

Fab-on-the-shelfers"

Is that like Elf on the Shelf?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if the Op is a swinger or not

Those who say well maybe they are swinger

So are you saying that your wife, sister, girlfriend or mother goes for a drink with a man of Anglo Saxon appearance. That's normal but if she goes with a man of colour they maybe swigers

Is that what your saying?

But my best friend and school was black

apsoulute TOSH!!

I'm assuming they are inferring that the men thought it was a cuck situation. 'BBC, white wife, sad husband at home.'

Because that's the only possible reason a black man would be in public with a white woman.

Yes this is what I also thought they were alluding to. God forbid to individuals of different skin colours go for a drink together. "

I wasn't there so my opinion means nothing. But I wasn't saying they weren't racist, I was just saying there were other possibilities for their stupid comments.

Your lady friend got their seats and they fucked off without further aggro. I call that a win.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

What has his profile got to do with anything? His profile is none of your business!"
If you say so but we were just pointing out that the definition of a swinger is a person that engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dated a Carribbean girl for 2 years in my uni days. Got those sorts of comments a lot. Since I'm a Sikh (and wear a turban) sadly, most of the negative comments came from my own people (Punjabi Sikhs) & just dirty looks in general from them & some people of her background.

Bothered me a lot early in the relationship, but became obvious it wasn't gonna stop, so we grew thick skin & just put up with it. Realised you can't have an argument every time it happened lol

Not dated outside my race since, but not purposely, and I've not been with a White woman, so don't know what looks I'd get there lol

But most people don't bat an eyelid & go about their own business when seeing interracial couples, so that's a positive.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago

London

"And if the Op is a swinger or not

Those who say well maybe they are swinger

So are you saying that your wife, sister, girlfriend or mother goes for a drink with a man of Anglo Saxon appearance. That's normal but if she goes with a man of colour they maybe swigers

Is that what your saying?

But my best friend and school was black

apsoulute TOSH!!

I was busy with your mother. Your friends mentioned the same thing. It is why I alluded to such a scenario, clearly. "

7thbaronbyron

I'm calling him out he's lost his debate and like most people who's best friend at school was black

He turns to insult to articulate his argument.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/11/19 23:59:50]

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *irkydirkyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I dated a black girl a few yrs ago before venturing to here, early on, on one of our first few nights out she always seemed more comfortable saying where we should go, I was always happy to.. and one of the first times she chose a place in Wimbledon local to where she was, kinda a regular place a think.. not that it bothered me but I was the only white guy in the place and yep got some comments too, always said out of her reach, I brushed it off and went back a couple more time for the same responses.. I guess they will always be there..

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

What has his profile got to do with anything? His profile is none of your business! If you say so but we were just pointing out that the definition of a swinger is a person that engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners. "

Thanks for pointing that out but as long as nobody breaks the rules of this site then that's all that matters. I can't remember reading anywhere that to be on this site we must partake in the act of swinging.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

I don't think it says anywhere that to be in this site you must be a swinger. I know some people that come here just to be other individuals. Some come here just to read the forums."

Dear god how’s this even relevant? You’re now having to justify why you’re here to complete strangers?

Who cares if there’s single people here meeting single people, couples meeting / swapping with couples, others just for the forums. In the grand scheme of everyone’s life, how important is this?? This site is bizarre, on so many levels

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

I'm stuffed then, or rather not. I can't get one on one sex let alone group sex.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *irkydirkyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

That is not the definition...

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

I don't think it says anywhere that to be in this site you must be a swinger. I know some people that come here just to be other individuals. Some come here just to read the forums.

Dear god how’s this even relevant? You’re now having to justify why you’re here to complete strangers?

It's par for the course.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

I don't think it says anywhere that to be in this site you must be a swinger. I know some people that come here just to be other individuals. Some come here just to read the forums.

Dear god how’s this even relevant? You’re now having to justify why you’re here to complete strangers?

Yup I feel the same. The topic has been overlooked because I'm not a swinger. Oh lordy.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is lovely how a small number of people on here, are doing exactly that in which they’re accusing others of. Oh, how lovely it is to be young, except - you’re adults.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We are a bit confused? Op are you saying that you are not a swinger?

No, I'm not a swinger. Just like most people here. So you are not a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners?

Do your interest not list group sex.

I'm stuffed then, or rather not. I can't get one on one sex let alone group sex.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"It is lovely how a small number of people on here, are doing exactly that in which they’re accusing others of. Oh, how lovely it is to be young, except - you’re adults....."

Are you skullfucking in your profile picture?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is lovely how a small number of people on here, are doing exactly that in which they’re accusing others of. Oh, how lovely it is to be young, except - you’re adults.....

Are you skullfucking in your profile picture?

No, it’s a deformity. I was born this way.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"It is lovely how a small number of people on here, are doing exactly that in which they’re accusing others of. Oh, how lovely it is to be young, except - you’re adults.....

Are you skullfucking in your profile picture?

No, it’s a deformity. I was born this way. "

Well. I was going to make a "giving head" joke but now it feels inappropriate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why let it bother you? Regardless of their comments, they’re the ones jealous enough and believe you’re better than they are. They probably left to wank each other off in the car park before going home to moaning Mavis. Put all your time into your stunning lady, squaring up to arseholes only proves one thing...

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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago

London

"It is lovely how a small number of people on here, are doing exactly that in which they’re accusing others of. Oh, how lovely it is to be young, except - you’re adults.....

Are you skullfucking in your profile picture?

Come on don't be judge mental

If 7thbaronbyron wants to get a blow job from a dead skull who are you to say Halloween is finished

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why let it bother you? Regardless of their comments, they’re the ones jealous enough and believe you’re better than they are. They probably left to wank each other off in the car park before going home to moaning Mavis. Put all your time into your stunning lady, squaring up to arseholes only proves one thing..."

So true

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They don't live with me!

I agree with everything else you say though.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They don't live with me!

I agree with everything else you say though. "

Ha ha! So this is how I dig myself out of that hole...‘I said moaning Mavis, not Mavis’. She’s a very different animal

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By *r and Mrs PenguinCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

So glad it was not myself u were with as I deffo would not of felt any shame in getting up and saying something before u did.

Group of lads, bit of Dutch courage and think it's ok to talk about people in whatever way they see fit.

Why in this day and age is it still acceptable to poke ya nose into others buisness no matter what scenario u think is going on.

Nothing against having ur own opinion but no need to be rude about it. X x

I hope u guys enjoyed the rest of ur night x x x

Mrs p x x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hechapMan
over a year ago

Derry

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

Unless i am missing something from your post you are the only man who mentioned skin colour.

You say someone looking at you made you feel uncomfortable.

How is that racism??

Four white men saying that a white womans husband must be at home watching the children is not been racist either.

It can be called been obnoxious, been a mouth piece and many things. But its not racist.

Would you feel any better in the exact same scenario except it was 4 black guys saying nasty things??

Then you want them to join you for a drink.

What was that going to prove??

Your story just dosent add up.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

Unless i am missing something from your post you are the only man who mentioned skin colour.

You say someone looking at you made you feel uncomfortable.

How is that racism??

Four white men saying that a white womans husband must be at home watching the children is not been racist either.

It can be called been obnoxious, been a mouth piece and many things. But its not racist.

Would you feel any better in the exact same scenario except it was 4 black guys saying nasty things??

Then you want them to join you for a drink.

What was that going to prove??

Your story just dosent add up.

The way in which they made their comments was racist. I'm almost certain if we were both black they wouldn't have commented. It's the fact that there was a black male with a gorgeous white female. As someone posted earlier, they were jealous. I was there and I witnessed the stares and the childish sniggering not to mention the comment.

And yes I asked them if them if they wanted to join us. This wasn't a polite request. It was more of a case of "if you're big enough to make such comments the say it to my face". Let's face it, if they weren't in the wrong then they wouldn't have downed their drinks and made a quick exit like silly boys, bearing in mind they looked like they were in their 40s.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The right are on the rise. Racists feel empowered to spew their bollocks. This isn't a surprise to people surely?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Psss pssss psssss psssss

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"The right are on the rise. Racists feel empowered to spew their bollocks. This isn't a surprise to people surely?

The left can be racists as well. No one is immune, unfortunately.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

Unless i am missing something from your post you are the only man who mentioned skin colour.

You say someone looking at you made you feel uncomfortable.

How is that racism??

Four white men saying that a white womans husband must be at home watching the children is not been racist either.

It can be called been obnoxious, been a mouth piece and many things. But its not racist.

Would you feel any better in the exact same scenario except it was 4 black guys saying nasty things??

Then you want them to join you for a drink.

What was that going to prove??

Your story just dosent add up.

Don't waste your breath. Some people do not get it that if it quacks like a duck, it is usually a duck.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

I don't understand why people have FWB's, are they not mature enough or even able to maintain an emotional relationship? Probably a question for another thread i guess.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

Good grief.

Are you the swinging police?

And you got slammed the other day when you said some couples have this attitude! Iv seen 2 just on this thread. "

She didn't get "slammed" she got challenged because she said " all " couples do this. Please don't make things up to suit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand why people have FWB's, are they not mature enough or even able to maintain an emotional relationship? Probably a question for another thread i guess. "

I don't see how true fwb's is even possible tbh.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The right are on the rise. Racists feel empowered to spew their bollocks. This isn't a surprise to people surely?

The left can be racists as well. No one is immune, unfortunately."

Racism doesn't discriminate.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand why people have FWB's, are they not mature enough or even able to maintain an emotional relationship? Probably a question for another thread i guess. "

Same could be said for swinging.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok, can people remember not to abuse people for having a different view than you. Challenge the post rather than attack people please

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok, can people remember not to abuse people for having a different view than you. Challenge the post rather than attack people please"

This thread has gone off on a tangent.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

It sure did....OK back to the OP please

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Ok, can people remember not to abuse people for having a different view than you. Challenge the post rather than attack people please"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

Safly, there will always be the odd few!

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By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

Safly, there will always be the odd few!"

Sadly!

Note to self... use preview button!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hechapMan
over a year ago

Derry

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

Unless i am missing something from your post you are the only man who mentioned skin colour.

You say someone looking at you made you feel uncomfortable.

How is that racism??

Four white men saying that a white womans husband must be at home watching the children is not been racist either.

It can be called been obnoxious, been a mouth piece and many things. But its not racist.

Would you feel any better in the exact same scenario except it was 4 black guys saying nasty things??

Then you want them to join you for a drink.

What was that going to prove??

Your story just dosent add up.

You sound to be more racist than them and also looking to start trouble.

Although i am more convinced this story belongs in the section "Things that never happened in Oct 2019"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was hoping to wake up and all this would be over.....

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"It sure did....OK back to the OP please

Does anyone know the point of the op? A man who's not a swinger, goes on to a swinging forum describing a situation that sounds like an interacial cuckolding date. Turns out he was there with his fwb. Some guys allegedly make a comment that his partner is probably married. I think it's nice that people are aware of interracial cuckolding. The op then invites these guys for a drink, but they don't fancy it.

The op thinks its racist that people don't think a mixed race pair could be a couple. Even though in this case, they're not. Its a casual sexual relationship. Not an emotional one.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

Unless i am missing something from your post you are the only man who mentioned skin colour.

You say someone looking at you made you feel uncomfortable.

How is that racism??

Four white men saying that a white womans husband must be at home watching the children is not been racist either.

It can be called been obnoxious, been a mouth piece and many things. But its not racist.

Would you feel any better in the exact same scenario except it was 4 black guys saying nasty things??

Then you want them to join you for a drink.

What was that going to prove??

Your story just dosent add up.

You sound to be more racist than them and also looking to start trouble.

Although i am more convinced this story belongs in the section "Things that never happened in Oct 2019"

How? How? And how?

Looking to start trouble? I'm sorry but I've been taught to stick up for myself. I didn't insult them like they did me. I didn't rage at them. I didn't get aggressive. If I let it slide then they'd have just carried on. No thanks. You think what you want pal. I was there and I witnessed it. Have you ever experienced racism? Thought not!!!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The right are on the rise. Racists feel empowered to spew their bollocks. This isn't a surprise to people surely?

The left can be racists as well. No one is immune, unfortunately.

Racism doesn't discriminate.....

"
totally agree racism is everywhere no place for it I live in a very white English area ie no black people out of 17000 I bet there is only a handful and only a handful of migrants you never see them out and never at night you only have to sit in the pubs or clubs and listen and you here racism everywhere just don't understand it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It sure did....OK back to the OP please

The op thinks its racist that people don't think a mixed race pair could be a couple. Even though in this case, they're not. Its a casual sexual relationship. Not an emotional one. "

What is a swinger? Why do you feel so threatened by people who aren't in the type of relationship that you think is correct?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hechapMan
over a year ago

Derry

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

Unless i am missing something from your post you are the only man who mentioned skin colour.

You say someone looking at you made you feel uncomfortable.

How is that racism??

Four white men saying that a white womans husband must be at home watching the children is not been racist either.

It can be called been obnoxious, been a mouth piece and many things. But its not racist.

Would you feel any better in the exact same scenario except it was 4 black guys saying nasty things??

Then you want them to join you for a drink.

What was that going to prove??

Your story just dosent add up.

You sound to be more racist than them and also looking to start trouble.

Although i am more convinced this story belongs in the section "Things that never happened in Oct 2019"

How? How? And how?

Are you not going to tell us what the "racists" said?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So about a week ago myself (black male) and a FWB (white lady) were out having a drink and on entering a particular bar people began turning their heads and made both myself and my FWB feel uncomfortable and on edge. She went and found a table and I went to order the drinks. I over heard a group of four guys (white males) blatantly talking about us, one of which clearly said "Yeah her husband must be at home looking after the kids". Just for the record, she has no children and has never been marired and isn't in a relationship with anyone.

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

Unless i am missing something from your post you are the only man who mentioned skin colour.

You say someone looking at you made you feel uncomfortable.

How is that racism??

Four white men saying that a white womans husband must be at home watching the children is not been racist either.

It can be called been obnoxious, been a mouth piece and many things. But its not racist.

Would you feel any better in the exact same scenario except it was 4 black guys saying nasty things??

Then you want them to join you for a drink.

What was that going to prove??

Your story just dosent add up.

You sound to be more racist than them and also looking to start trouble.

Although i am more convinced this story belongs in the section "Things that never happened in Oct 2019"

How? How? And how?

Are you not going to tell us what the "racists" said?"

I think I've already stated what I heard them say. I didn't caught it all what with the sniggering and laughing inbetween.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"So about a week ago myself (black male) and a FWB (white lady) were out having a drink and on entering a particular bar people began turning their heads and made both myself and my FWB feel uncomfortable and on edge. She went and found a table and I went to order the drinks. I over heard a group of four guys (white males) blatantly talking about us, one of which clearly said "Yeah her husband must be at home looking after the kids". Just for the record, she has no children and has never been marired and isn't in a relationship with anyone.

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

Unless i am missing something from your post you are the only man who mentioned skin colour.

You say someone looking at you made you feel uncomfortable.

How is that racism??

Four white men saying that a white womans husband must be at home watching the children is not been racist either.

It can be called been obnoxious, been a mouth piece and many things. But its not racist.

Would you feel any better in the exact same scenario except it was 4 black guys saying nasty things??

Then you want them to join you for a drink.

What was that going to prove??

Your story just dosent add up.

You sound to be more racist than them and also looking to start trouble.

Although i am more convinced this story belongs in the section "Things that never happened in Oct 2019"

How? How? And how?

Are you not going to tell us what the "racists" said?

I think I've already stated what I heard them say. I didn't caught it all what with the sniggering and laughing inbetween."

Where is this quiet bar where other's conversation can be so easily overheard? Sounds great.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So about a week ago myself (black male) and a FWB (white lady) were out having a drink and on entering a particular bar people began turning their heads and made both myself and my FWB feel uncomfortable and on edge. She went and found a table and I went to order the drinks. I over heard a group of four guys (white males) blatantly talking about us, one of which clearly said "Yeah her husband must be at home looking after the kids". Just for the record, she has no children and has never been marired and isn't in a relationship with anyone.

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

Unless i am missing something from your post you are the only man who mentioned skin colour.

You say someone looking at you made you feel uncomfortable.

How is that racism??

Four white men saying that a white womans husband must be at home watching the children is not been racist either.

It can be called been obnoxious, been a mouth piece and many things. But its not racist.

Would you feel any better in the exact same scenario except it was 4 black guys saying nasty things??

Then you want them to join you for a drink.

What was that going to prove??

Your story just dosent add up.

You sound to be more racist than them and also looking to start trouble.

Although i am more convinced this story belongs in the section "Things that never happened in Oct 2019"

How? How? And how?

Are you not going to tell us what the "racists" said?

I think I've already stated what I heard them say. I didn't caught it all what with the sniggering and laughing inbetween.

Where is this quiet bar where other's conversation can be so easily overheard? Sounds great.

To be fair it was early afternoon. And it wasn't the best bar I've been to.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

Good grief.

Are you the swinging police?

And you got slammed the other day when you said some couples have this attitude! Iv seen 2 just on this thread.

She didn't get "slammed" she got challenged because she said " all " couples do this. Please don't make things up to suit"

I didn't make anything up!

That was my opinion on what happened which I'm perfectly entitled to.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

OK I can't keep asking people to stop attacking others, if you can't debate without calling people names please leave the thread alone

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ikeandmollyCouple
over a year ago

swindon

[Removed by poster at 02/11/19 10:09:17]

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I see the community continues to be as inclusive and welcoming as ever.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ikeandmollyCouple
over a year ago

swindon

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

Good grief.

Are you the swinging police?

And you got slammed the other day when you said some couples have this attitude! Iv seen 2 just on this thread. "

Did anyone read what I said? I was not shaming anyone, I said YOU SHOULD TRY and WE A VERY WELCOMING LOT

And it is a little bit annoying when your looking for meets and you find people looking for dates and hook ups not swingers on a swingers site. There are lots of good sites for dating but not many good sites for swinging.

Molly

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ikeandmollyCouple
over a year ago

swindon

"I see the community continues to be as inclusive and welcoming as ever.

I give up.

Molly

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

I am surprise you are surprise, everyone is judging others from their bias point of view. What if her so-called husband at home is Black or Asian. I have a feeling if she walked in with a white guy they will have also made a comment about the guy's appearance

Racism to me has to have some sort of superiority complex. As long as there are multiple pigments of skin people will talk. Black people will talk about other race the same way white people will of course not everybody will be comfortable being the subject matter based on race as long as the is no superiority complex or action against someone based solely on one's race.

I do like your response of join us for a drink

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

And you got slammed the other day when you said some couples have this attitude! Iv seen 2 just on this thread.

She didn't get "slammed" she got challenged because she said " all " couples do this. Please don't make things up to suit

I didn't make anything up!

That was my opinion on what happened which I'm perfectly entitled to. "

Your opinion is not fact

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Welcome to the Fab forum OP.

Seemingly you're not allowed to mention or allude to racism as it make some people very uncomfortable and/or confrontational as you can see from the posts above.

Draw your own conclusions from that.

I have to give a weary head shake that in 2019 we still get the tired old "I'm not racist, I had a black friend once in school" and the "You're imagining it, you must have a chip on your shoulder" lines.

I've seen it time and time again on threads on here over the last two years.

Not understanding someone else's experience is one thing, denying or belittling it is something else again.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are judgemental about everything. Not just skin colour. My husband is 30 years my senior, we've been together almost 15 years and we still overhear comments "she must be with him for the money" from people who don't know us when we're out and about. I've made a few turn beetroot red and speeches by turning round and saying "no, I'm with him for a good shag".

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Welcome to the Fab forum OP.

Seemingly you're not allowed to mention or allude to racism as it make some people very uncomfortable and/or confrontational as you can see from the posts above.

Draw your own conclusions from that.

I've seen it time and time again on threads on here over the last two years.

Not understanding someone else's experience is one thing, denying or belittling it is something else again."

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

I don't really get why the op doesn't think he's a swinger? Wants to meet random people for sex, wants to go to swinging clubs. Yet seems to take umbridge at being described as one. I also don't understand why swingers are looked down upon on a supposed swinging website? People seem so desperate to distance themselves.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Without naming anyone there seems to be a few here who are beating their own drum and going off on a tangent. There's others who have only come here to stir up trouble. If that's what you want then start your own threads please.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

"I don't really get why the op doesn't think he's a swinger? Wants to meet random people for sex, wants to go to swinging clubs. Yet seems to take umbridge at being described as one. I also don't understand why swingers are looked down upon on a supposed swinging website? People seem so desperate to distance themselves. "

I see swingers as a couple that "swaps" partners, could be wrong.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"Without naming anyone there seems to be a few here who are beating their own drum and going off on a tangent. There's others who have only come here to stir up trouble. If that's what you want then start your own threads please."

What did you think was going to happen?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

Absolutely ridiculous and narrow minded individuals. This really made my blood boil

The mention of her husband being at home, surely means that they were aware that one of you is a swinger? Why is everything “racist”?

Why would one of us be a swinger? Is it because I've posted this on a swingers site? Neither of us are swingers.

I’m so sad you had to go though this but I have to ask, if your not a swinger why are you on a swingers site?

Molly

There's very many people on here who wouldn't class themselves as swingers.

Molly

Good grief.

Are you the swinging police?

And you got slammed the other day when you said some couples have this attitude! Iv seen 2 just on this thread.

Did anyone read what I said? I was not shaming anyone, I said YOU SHOULD TRY and WE A VERY WELCOMING LOT

Molly

XX"

Ehm... What is the difference between a meet and a hook-up?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

I see swingers as a couple that "swaps" partners, could be wrong. "

Traditionally yes, but there are so many great single swingers. Guys who REALLY understand the dynamic. Not looking for emotional ties, not looking to steal a wife away, understanding how much fun sex with no ties can be. In the club scene these people are gold dust. But fab has "evolved" now to another online dating app.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What did you think was going to happen?"

Just the same as most other threads. Where people stick to the topic. This thread has gone down a path of why non swingers come on to this site and what a swinger is etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just for the record I don't go to swingers clubs. Does it mean you can only call yourself a swinger if you go to clubs?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

What did you think was going to happen?

Just the same as most other threads. Where people stick to the topic. This thread has gone down a path of why non swingers come on to this site and what a swinger is etc"

Im afraid to say that you started that mate by declaring that you're not a swinger.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What did you think was going to happen?

Just the same as most other threads. Where people stick to the topic. This thread has gone down a path of why non swingers come on to this site and what a swinger is etc

Im afraid to say that you started that mate by declaring that you're not a swinger. "

Can you show me where I claimed I was a swinger?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Just for the record I don't go to swingers clubs. Does it mean you can only call yourself a swinger if you go to clubs?"

Whether you do or don't doesn't change the fact that you've been asking about going. A non swinger wouldn't think about going, would they?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

What did you think was going to happen?

Just the same as most other threads. Where people stick to the topic. This thread has gone down a path of why non swingers come on to this site and what a swinger is etc

Im afraid to say that you started that mate by declaring that you're not a swinger.

Can you show me where I claimed I was a swinger?"

You joined fabswingers. It's fair for people to assume you're a swinger.

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By *ikeandmollyCouple
over a year ago

swindon

What did you think was going to happen?

Just the same as most other threads. Where people stick to the topic. This thread has gone down a path of why non swingers come on to this site and what a swinger is etc

Im afraid to say that you started that mate by declaring that you're not a swinger.

Can you show me where I claimed I was a swinger?"

You joined a web site called Fabswingers

Molly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What did you think was going to happen?

Just the same as most other threads. Where people stick to the topic. This thread has gone down a path of why non swingers come on to this site and what a swinger is etc

Im afraid to say that you started that mate by declaring that you're not a swinger.

Can you show me where I claimed I was a swinger?

You joined fabswingers. It's fair for people to assume you're a swinger. "

I'm also joined Amazon prime last week just for free delivery...does that now mean I'm interested in their services...NO!

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