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If your cat/dog/budgie could talk....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What would it say about you?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Don't believe it whatever it says.

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By *nytimeadeMan
over a year ago

Skegness

TART, WOOF WOOF ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Don't believe it whatever it says. "

That bad?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it would be in counselling

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you


"it would be in counselling"
mine would be with yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strangely enough, just got the following email about half an hour ago.

.

.

.

A man sees a sign outside a house – ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’

He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.

The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

“Do you really talk?” he asks the dog.

“Yes,” the Labrador Replies.

After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, “So, tell me your story.”

The Labrador Looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the Government, so I told the SAS.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years”.

“But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down”

“I signed up for a job at Heathrow Airport to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.

I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I have just retired.”

The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asked the owner how much he wants for the dog.

“Ten Quid,” the owner says.

“£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?”

“Because he’s a lying bastard. He’s never been out of the garden.”

XXXX

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

FFS, who's that bloke/woman/couple in my bed with you this time Mam??????

Slapper miaow, miaow, purr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/04/12 20:40:15]

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By *illow PimpMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

Gee's a gobble doll

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You lot crack me up! Love the humour i do.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

My dog would say, she shouts a lot but il forgive her as she takes me for long walks in the park and doesnt get pissed off when i wanna piss up every tree

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My dog would say, she shouts a lot but il forgive her as she takes me for long walks in the park and doesnt get pissed off when i wanna piss up every tree "

Well you need to piss on ever tree if your a he-dog

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"My dog would say, she shouts a lot but il forgive her as she takes me for long walks in the park and doesnt get pissed off when i wanna piss up every tree

Well you need to piss on ever tree if your a he-dog "
He does as well..the park i take him to is full of trees, bug uns, and he HAS to piss up every one........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My dog would say, she shouts a lot but il forgive her as she takes me for long walks in the park and doesnt get pissed off when i wanna piss up every tree

Well you need to piss on ever tree if your a he-dog He does as well..the park i take him to is full of trees, bug uns, and he HAS to piss up every one........ "

FFS you and your Alpha Males

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"My dog would say, she shouts a lot but il forgive her as she takes me for long walks in the park and doesnt get pissed off when i wanna piss up every tree

Well you need to piss on ever tree if your a he-dog He does as well..the park i take him to is full of trees, bug uns, and he HAS to piss up every one........

FFS you and your Alpha Males "
I know i know

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

IF my budgie could speak, he'd ask :

"Here, can you smell fish?"

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"

IF my budgie could speak, he'd ask :

"Here, can you smell fish?""

That's cos he's sat on a perch ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

IF my budgie could speak, he'd ask :

"Here, can you smell fish?"

That's cos he's sat on a perch ffs "

love it

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

what do you mean you dont like eu de fox shit

youv got soap in my eye now, damn it

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 05/04/12 21:41:19]

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"

IF my budgie could speak, he'd ask :

"Here, can you smell fish?"

That's cos he's sat on a perch ffs

love it "

If my goldfish could talk to the other goldfish in the tank, he'd say "How the feck do you drive this thing????"

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Cat : "Next time you want me to impersonate a dog, don't drag my arse across sandpaper and ask me how it felt. OK?"

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

my cat would say ffs do you want me to show you how to pull pussy

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Cat : "No way are you coming near me with VEET"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"my cat would say ffs do you want me to show you how to pull pussy"

Tom cat is he?

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I sometimes wonder what my partner's old jeans would say if they could talk...

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

My dog would now be saying "im sorry i farted and it really stinks" little fucker

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"What would it say...."

"For fuck's sake don't film me and send the footage to You've Been Framed"

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

i know you like ginger biscuits but iv just buried em in the planter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If my dog could talk I would be in a heap of trouble

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

If my pooch could speak english, I know I'd be sat on the naughty step for hours!

She gives me a look as iff to say 'Oh Mummy!' Then wanders off.

She gives the best dirty looks ever

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

[Removed by poster at 06/04/12 08:26:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My dog would now be saying "im sorry i farted and it really stinks" little fucker "

More likely

"Oi...!! Stop trying to blame me..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum feeds me well with lots of yummy human foods. However, they do not always agree with me as they are too rich for my doggy tummy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if my cat could talk she would probably say something along the lines of

"you slave go and fetch me a golden trhone so i may lord over you in comfort and splendor"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What would it say about you? "

We have a Parrot who says all sorts. Kev has taught it to say Get your knickers off and it always breaks the ice when we have people round.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if i had a budgie it would say thats the way to do it!!!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh no thats a parrot isnt it lol

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By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle


"What would it say about you? "
"He buys cheap sausages"

At least that's what he said yesterday.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My dog would say, she shouts a lot but il forgive her as she takes me for long walks in the park and doesnt get pissed off when i wanna piss up every tree

Well you need to piss on ever tree if your a he-dog He does as well..the park i take him to is full of trees, bug uns, and he HAS to piss up every one........ "

My dog is just the same....he loves his thursday walks as its bin collection day....more targets for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bollocks, you idle fucker, you threw it, you can run and fucking fetch it too

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"What would it say about you? "He buys cheap sausages"

At least that's what he said yesterday."

i thought he might say you never let me have any fun

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By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle


"What would it say about you? "He buys cheap sausages"

At least that's what he said yesterday.

i thought he might say you never let me have any fun "

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