FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

No Black or Asians

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know this is always a common theme on the forums but... I've never had it in real life where I've been talking to a girl and they're not interested because of the colour of my skin. I can usually tell that they are not interested and to be fair, the issue may have been my skin but thankfully it wasn't communicated. Yet on here I see it all the time and have been rejected because of it a fair few times.

My question is not about preference: I understand that some are fulfilling a fantasy or might want what they are used to. It is more about psychology: Like what happened in your life for you to find all individuals of that colour unattractive? Is it not some inherent race issue if you have no problems with equality and getting along with people of colour socially, but still find them unattractive? What about if Denzel Washington or Drake or Lenny Kravitz or Usher or Beyoncé was asking? Would you just reject them based on your rules? I don't know about you but I know my fav flavour of ice cream is mint choc chip and I know that because I tried them all. I also know that I am open to new flavours because I like all that ice cream has offered me so far.... Forgive the analogy...

Just so you all know this is not a dig at people who have stated what their preference is. If you want to get angry about the fact that you have sexually denounced all black or Asian and feel like you have to defend yourself then please take it elsewhere. This is more me trying to understand something that makes no sense to me, I am very liberal when it comes to the colour of my sexual partners and love the different qualities each race has to offer so find it interesting to hear why others don't

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you do a forum search you will find hundreds of threads about this that should help.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *U1966Man
over a year ago

Devon

Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im fine with blacks and Asians I have two major obstacles. I’m a single guy and I’m also 54

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not entirely sure on the psychology behind the preference. It’s a very interesting question though.

However, I’m not sure I agree with the concept that a person needs to be physically intimate with someone (or do much more than look at them) to know that they aren’t attracted (at least on a sexual level) to them. Your food analogy is very different - you can’t determine if you like a food until you’ve tasted it. I don’t think the same applies to human attraction, most of which is (at least initially) based on physical appearance. Just my view

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some nice Asians out there ??

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like black women but don't like black condoms,figure that one out

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know this is always a common theme on the forums but... I've never had it in real life where I've been talking to a girl and they're not interested because of the colour of my skin. I can usually tell that they are not interested and to be fair, the issue may have been my skin but thankfully it wasn't communicated. Yet on here I see it all the time and have been rejected because of it a fair few times.

My question is not about preference: I understand that some are fulfilling a fantasy or might want what they are used to. It is more about psychology: Like what happened in your life for you to find all individuals of that colour unattractive? Is it not some inherent race issue if you have no problems with equality and getting along with people of colour socially, but still find them unattractive? What about if Denzel Washington or Drake or Lenny Kravitz or Usher or Beyoncé was asking? Would you just reject them based on your rules? I don't know about you but I know my fav flavour of ice cream is mint choc chip and I know that because I tried them all. I also know that I am open to new flavours because I like all that ice cream has offered me so far.... Forgive the analogy...

Just so you all know this is not a dig at people who have stated what their preference is. If you want to get angry about the fact that you have sexually denounced all black or Asian and feel like you have to defend yourself then please take it elsewhere. This is more me trying to understand something that makes no sense to me, I am very liberal when it comes to the colour of my sexual partners and love the different qualities each race has to offer so find it interesting to hear why others don't"

Well said mate ! I haven’t read the replies on this thread but you make a very valid point in my opinion, and fuck if big Denzel was giving me the eyes I would be jumping into his arms haha i too like mint choco chip but my favourite is Ben and Jerry’s Carmel chew chew

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight "

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted. "

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London

Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response "

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *r AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

Dublin


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response "

There will always be 1,

Or as it's Fab a few ,

Gobshites

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m not entirely sure on the psychology behind the preference. It’s a very interesting question though.

However, I’m not sure I agree with the concept that a person needs to be physically intimate with someone (or do much more than look at them) to know that they aren’t attracted (at least on a sexual level) to them. Your food analogy is very different - you can’t determine if you like a food until you’ve tasted it. I don’t think the same applies to human attraction, most of which is (at least initially) based on physical appearance. Just my view "

I think visual cues are our first sense that is engaged in attraction. However I’m not attracted to all women no matter what their race is, however I do find it hard to understand how whole races can be visually unattractive though. But that’s just because I don’t feel like that or experience the world in that way.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m not entirely sure on the psychology behind the preference. It’s a very interesting question though.

However, I’m not sure I agree with the concept that a person needs to be physically intimate with someone (or do much more than look at them) to know that they aren’t attracted (at least on a sexual level) to them. Your food analogy is very different - you can’t determine if you like a food until you’ve tasted it. I don’t think the same applies to human attraction, most of which is (at least initially) based on physical appearance. Just my view

I think visual cues are our first sense that is engaged in attraction. However I’m not attracted to all women no matter what their race is, however I do find it hard to understand how whole races can be visually unattractive though. But that’s just because I don’t feel like that or experience the world in that way."

I’ll add the word ‘often’ to my first sentence as there are occasions another sense is engaged first.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well, "

It very much depends whether you view a sexual preference as ‘discrimination’. I personally don’t. I view excluding people from society, being abusive towards them, or unfairly treating them in some way on the basis of their skin colour as discrimination. I have a preference for tall, muscular, tattooed men to share my bed and my body with. Am I discriminating against the shorter, skinnier, untattooed men by choosing not to have sex with them? I would argue not. If I refused to employ a shorter, skinny man? Then yes.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

There will always be 1,

Or as it's Fab a few ,

Gobshites"

Calling them gobshites is not much better in my opinion either.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

It very much depends whether you view a sexual preference as ‘discrimination’. I personally don’t. I view excluding people from society, being abusive towards them, or unfairly treating them in some way on the basis of their skin colour as discrimination. I have a preference for tall, muscular, tattooed men to share my bed and my body with. Am I discriminating against the shorter, skinnier, untattooed men by choosing not to have sex with them? I would argue not. If I refused to employ a shorter, skinny man? Then yes. "

Totally this

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well, "

The OP has also not used the term discrimination. I read his post as enquiring into the psychology behind personal preferences

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

It very much depends whether you view a sexual preference as ‘discrimination’. I personally don’t. I view excluding people from society, being abusive towards them, or unfairly treating them in some way on the basis of their skin colour as discrimination. I have a preference for tall, muscular, tattooed men to share my bed and my body with. Am I discriminating against the shorter, skinnier, untattooed men by choosing not to have sex with them? I would argue not. If I refused to employ a shorter, skinny man? Then yes. "

Yeah you are us short skinny ginger/albeit bald men make excellent lovers too you know

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

It very much depends whether you view a sexual preference as ‘discrimination’. I personally don’t. I view excluding people from society, being abusive towards them, or unfairly treating them in some way on the basis of their skin colour as discrimination. I have a preference for tall, muscular, tattooed men to share my bed and my body with. Am I discriminating against the shorter, skinnier, untattooed men by choosing not to have sex with them? I would argue not. If I refused to employ a shorter, skinny man? Then yes. "

Ah okay I gotcha now ! I just think race is a bigger issue in today’s society than height or build or tattoos, sure of course everyone’s got sexual preferences which is 110% up to them and who they engage with I am not really well versed in the subject of discrimination tbh I was just giving my 2 cents on the matter plus I was attracted because ice cream was mention heh

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m not entirely sure on the psychology behind the preference. It’s a very interesting question though.

However, I’m not sure I agree with the concept that a person needs to be physically intimate with someone (or do much more than look at them) to know that they aren’t attracted (at least on a sexual level) to them. Your food analogy is very different - you can’t determine if you like a food until you’ve tasted it. I don’t think the same applies to human attraction, most of which is (at least initially) based on physical appearance. Just my view "

I don't know I'm sure a lot of people make up their mind on find based on the appearance. Like if I brought you a goat's head curry I'm sure you would be less willing to try then if I gave you a prawn laksa.... I guess I'm the guy who tries both though and then decides

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I know this is always a common theme on the forums but... I've never had it in real life where I've been talking to a girl and they're not interested because of the colour of my skin. I can usually tell that they are not interested and to be fair, the issue may have been my skin but thankfully it wasn't communicated. Yet on here I see it all the time and have been rejected because of it a fair few times.

My question is not about preference: I understand that some are fulfilling a fantasy or might want what they are used to. It is more about psychology: Like what happened in your life for you to find all individuals of that colour unattractive? Is it not some inherent race issue if you have no problems with equality and getting along with people of colour socially, but still find them unattractive? What about if Denzel Washington or Drake or Lenny Kravitz or Usher or Beyoncé was asking? Would you just reject them based on your rules? I don't know about you but I know my fav flavour of ice cream is mint choc chip and I know that because I tried them all. I also know that I am open to new flavours because I like all that ice cream has offered me so far.... Forgive the analogy...

Just so you all know this is not a dig at people who have stated what their preference is. If you want to get angry about the fact that you have sexually denounced all black or Asian and feel like you have to defend yourself then please take it elsewhere. This is more me trying to understand something that makes no sense to me, I am very liberal when it comes to the colour of my sexual partners and love the different qualities each race has to offer so find it interesting to hear why others don't

Well said mate ! I haven’t read the replies on this thread but you make a very valid point in my opinion, and fuck if big Denzel was giving me the eyes I would be jumping into his arms haha i too like mint choco chip but my favourite is Ben and Jerry’s Carmel chew chew "

Ha! Yeah what is it about Denzel? Pushing sixty and still got it!... Was very much swooning at this message until I read the caramel chew chew part!!! You my friend are a horrible person

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you contacting people to meet,that you already know,don't want to meet you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted. "

Thanks man! Always gonna be one though so sometimes better to ignore

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This weird thing happened to me on here the other day - a couple were talking to me, said they wanted to meet, even saw my photos (including face) and wouldn’t stop going on about how much they wanted me to come over.

In conversation they asked me where in the Mediterranean I’m from (I always get mistaken from anything from Brazilian to Moroccan to Pakistani, to Spanish). I said I’m not Mediterranean, I’m mixed black/white. They then instantly blocked me upon learning that.

Just goes to show the psychology of people that have that “no blacks or Asians” mentality. It’s not even to do with how you look, it’s to do with their negative views of certain races. That’s why they’re able to blanket and say they don’t like entire races. It’s mad.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know this is always a common theme on the forums but... I've never had it in real life where I've been talking to a girl and they're not interested because of the colour of my skin. I can usually tell that they are not interested and to be fair, the issue may have been my skin but thankfully it wasn't communicated. Yet on here I see it all the time and have been rejected because of it a fair few times.

My question is not about preference: I understand that some are fulfilling a fantasy or might want what they are used to. It is more about psychology: Like what happened in your life for you to find all individuals of that colour unattractive? Is it not some inherent race issue if you have no problems with equality and getting along with people of colour socially, but still find them unattractive? What about if Denzel Washington or Drake or Lenny Kravitz or Usher or Beyoncé was asking? Would you just reject them based on your rules? I don't know about you but I know my fav flavour of ice cream is mint choc chip and I know that because I tried them all. I also know that I am open to new flavours because I like all that ice cream has offered me so far.... Forgive the analogy...

Just so you all know this is not a dig at people who have stated what their preference is. If you want to get angry about the fact that you have sexually denounced all black or Asian and feel like you have to defend yourself then please take it elsewhere. This is more me trying to understand something that makes no sense to me, I am very liberal when it comes to the colour of my sexual partners and love the different qualities each race has to offer so find it interesting to hear why others don't

Well said mate ! I haven’t read the replies on this thread but you make a very valid point in my opinion, and fuck if big Denzel was giving me the eyes I would be jumping into his arms haha i too like mint choco chip but my favourite is Ben and Jerry’s Carmel chew chew

Ha! Yeah what is it about Denzel? Pushing sixty and still got it!... Was very much swooning at this message until I read the caramel chew chew part!!! You my friend are a horrible person"

I saw the Equalizer i sometimes put jelly babies into the ice cream tub too and eat all at the same time. I am in fact, A monster haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

It very much depends whether you view a sexual preference as ‘discrimination’. I personally don’t. I view excluding people from society, being abusive towards them, or unfairly treating them in some way on the basis of their skin colour as discrimination. I have a preference for tall, muscular, tattooed men to share my bed and my body with. Am I discriminating against the shorter, skinnier, untattooed men by choosing not to have sex with them? I would argue not. If I refused to employ a shorter, skinny man? Then yes. "

Nailed it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

The OP has also not used the term discrimination. I read his post as enquiring into the psychology behind personal preferences "

I think the psychology around what we are attracted to is a combination of what we find visually. auditorially and kinaesthetically pleasing as well as deep un conscious culturally and experientialy founded beliefs.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's an egregious act to write something on a profile like no blacks or asians (or any other skin colour or race for that matter). If that's their preference then fine, buy why do they have to write it out? Are they worried they'll be inundated with hordes of people they'd never meet?

But on the upside, it does tell you that the profile holder is an obnoxious twat and best avoided.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

Thanks man! Always gonna be one though so sometimes better to ignore"

sometimes it needs to be confronted too

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like I’ve said on other posts regarding this. I have seen much more profiles stating black guys only/BBC only than I have stating no blacks/Asians etc. To me this is no different. If you’re going to call it discrimination it doesn’t only work one way.

Personally, if someone has any reference to race preference on their profile then it’s an instant delete from me as I really don’t see a need for it. Similarly, giving that as a reason for not conversing/potentially meeting is pointless also and can cause offence/upset to someone. It not a requirement to give an explanation as to why you don’t want to engage with someone. Just a simple thanks but no thanks should suffice. Like I said on another post today, people just make problems for themselves on here. Just get on with it and meet who you want to meet without offending people! It’s really not that difficult. Honestly.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

"

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This weird thing happened to me on here the other day - a couple were talking to me, said they wanted to meet, even saw my photos (including face) and wouldn’t stop going on about how much they wanted me to come over.

In conversation they asked me where in the Mediterranean I’m from (I always get mistaken from anything from Brazilian to Moroccan to Pakistani, to Spanish). I said I’m not Mediterranean, I’m mixed black/white. They then instantly blocked me upon learning that.

Just goes to show the psychology of people that have that “no blacks or Asians” mentality. It’s not even to do with how you look, it’s to do with their negative views of certain races. That’s why they’re able to blanket and say they don’t like entire races. It’s mad.

"

I think this is a really important point in this conversation.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair it so good that most of the world and society have sense.... xx... however at times Asians don’t colour themselves in glory in some of the things they do or sometimes how some of the guys act....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m not entirely sure on the psychology behind the preference. It’s a very interesting question though.

However, I’m not sure I agree with the concept that a person needs to be physically intimate with someone (or do much more than look at them) to know that they aren’t attracted (at least on a sexual level) to them. Your food analogy is very different - you can’t determine if you like a food until you’ve tasted it. I don’t think the same applies to human attraction, most of which is (at least initially) based on physical appearance. Just my view

I don't know I'm sure a lot of people make up their mind on find based on the appearance. Like if I brought you a goat's head curry I'm sure you would be less willing to try then if I gave you a prawn laksa.... I guess I'm the guy who tries both though and then decides"

I wouldn’t eat either

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like I’ve said on other posts regarding this. I have seen much more profiles stating black guys only/BBC only than I have stating no blacks/Asians etc. To me this is no different. If you’re going to call it discrimination it doesn’t only work one way.

Personally, if someone has any reference to race preference on their profile then it’s an instant delete from me as I really don’t see a need for it. Similarly, giving that as a reason for not conversing/potentially meeting is pointless also and can cause offence/upset to someone. It not a requirement to give an explanation as to why you don’t want to engage with someone. Just a simple thanks but no thanks should suffice. Like I said on another post today, people just make problems for themselves on here. Just get on with it and meet who you want to meet without offending people! It’s really not that difficult. Honestly. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

The OP has also not used the term discrimination. I read his post as enquiring into the psychology behind personal preferences

I think the psychology around what we are attracted to is a combination of what we find visually. auditorially and kinaesthetically pleasing as well as deep un conscious culturally and experientialy founded beliefs."

Absolutely. Very complex matter indeed ...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like I’ve said on other posts regarding this. I have seen much more profiles stating black guys only/BBC only than I have stating no blacks/Asians etc. To me this is no different. If you’re going to call it discrimination it doesn’t only work one way.

Personally, if someone has any reference to race preference on their profile then it’s an instant delete from me as I really don’t see a need for it. Similarly, giving that as a reason for not conversing/potentially meeting is pointless also and can cause offence/upset to someone. It not a requirement to give an explanation as to why you don’t want to engage with someone. Just a simple thanks but no thanks should suffice. Like I said on another post today, people just make problems for themselves on here. Just get on with it and meet who you want to meet without offending people! It’s really not that difficult. Honestly. "

I think the exclusion and fetishisation of races are sort of two sides of the same coin. Although I can understand someone on a site like this who is using it to fulfil fantasies might want to focus their attention on certain attributes, particularly if they have experience that says they love those particular attributes. Like LucieJo’s comments above for example.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sin colour is not an issue to me, i grew up in a very white town. Even now I'd say 97% white, I think its psychological as it is very conceivable that some people can go through their whole lives and not have interaction with anyone non white apart from when shopping,dining, doctors etc

As they've developed sexually through their formative years they've not seen other races as people who you socialise with so it breeds nerves, fear even suspicion depending on upbringing which all fuels the inertia.

Sorry if that was a bit long and freudy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People need to stop being so damn touchy about stuff unless its an insult directed at you personally its not you business far too many wannabe freedom fighters nowadays

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I adore your username OP!

I read some of the post but I'm busy and maybe I've missed something. Anyway, what if it's cold outside and a person really doesn't want to try any kind of ice cream today, they want a nice warm hot chocolate or coffee instead to warm their heart and bones. Is it ok NOT to try everything? Or rather, is it even physically possible TO TRY everything in one lifetime? Surely a person has to form a view of preference at some point along the journey we call life? And without enquiring, its usually impossible to determine someone else's reasoning for a preference, maybe they HAVE tried mint chic chip and prefer blue bubblegum? Also, if you like tennis then you won't get any good at it by playing golf.....? I appreciate you might decide you like golf better, but you might not and you might miss out on valuable tennis time by playing a round of golf and niss the tennis Olympics....

I'm confusing even myself now, so I'll shush....

Personally I think live and let live and if ppl offend me with narrow views then they offend me and I can't do much about that. Maybe they didn't mean to offend me either. It's a natural filter, innit

Peace be with you

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excuse the grammar there I got a phone call half way through and just read it back

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like I’ve said on other posts regarding this. I have seen much more profiles stating black guys only/BBC only than I have stating no blacks/Asians etc. To me this is no different. If you’re going to call it discrimination it doesn’t only work one way.

Personally, if someone has any reference to race preference on their profile then it’s an instant delete from me as I really don’t see a need for it. Similarly, giving that as a reason for not conversing/potentially meeting is pointless also and can cause offence/upset to someone. It not a requirement to give an explanation as to why you don’t want to engage with someone. Just a simple thanks but no thanks should suffice. Like I said on another post today, people just make problems for themselves on here. Just get on with it and meet who you want to meet without offending people! It’s really not that difficult. Honestly.

"

I also agree we can enact our preferences without offending anyone, as we can examine them and test whether they apply in all situations.

I doubt I’d have met anyone on here if they’d stuck with their stated preferences

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

It very much depends whether you view a sexual preference as ‘discrimination’. I personally don’t. I view excluding people from society, being abusive towards them, or unfairly treating them in some way on the basis of their skin colour as discrimination. I have a preference for tall, muscular, tattooed men to share my bed and my body with. Am I discriminating against the shorter, skinnier, untattooed men by choosing not to have sex with them? I would argue not. If I refused to employ a shorter, skinny man? Then yes.

Nailed it "

Having said all of that. I do not display on my profile “no skinny short men please, you will be blocked” etc etc. I hold that preference in my mind, but I don’t feel the need to communicate it publicly on my profile. That’s my own personal preference - it’s not my style to make a list of “this is what I don’t want”. I feel it just hits you right in the face when you see those profiles (especially typed in capitals), and for me, I wouldn’t even need to look any further at any photos if I saw that. Instant turn off. It reads as demanding and entitled, even if the person is nothing like in reality, which is a shame, but it instantly makes me think no thanks.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

There are races that I don't like full stop. The Grand National is one because so many horses are hurt. The other is the marathon. So so boring. And the London marathon TV coverage. Even more boring. I even wonder if it's a sport or a pastime.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sin colour is not an issue to me, i grew up in a very white town. Even now I'd say 97% white, I think its psychological as it is very conceivable that some people can go through their whole lives and not have interaction with anyone non white apart from when shopping,dining, doctors etc

As they've developed sexually through their formative years they've not seen other races as people who you socialise with so it breeds nerves, fear even suspicion depending on upbringing which all fuels the inertia.

Sorry if that was a bit long and freudy.

"

It’s a good point and we’ll made and don’t worry about the typos - they didn’t detract from the point you’ve made.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sin colour is not an issue to me, i grew up in a very white town. Even now I'd say 97% white, I think its psychological as it is very conceivable that some people can go through their whole lives and not have interaction with anyone non white apart from when shopping,dining, doctors etc

As they've developed sexually through their formative years they've not seen other races as people who you socialise with so it breeds nerves, fear even suspicion depending on upbringing which all fuels the inertia.

Sorry if that was a bit long and freudy.

It’s a good point and we’ll made and don’t worry about the typos - they didn’t detract from the point you’ve made."

Such a good point. I did wonder about exposure to different races / cultural norms etc as a person grows up, especially during the formative teen years when sexual experimentation begins. If you haven’t had much exposure to people of different ethnic groups, it’s less likely you’ll have experimented with them in that sense (if I’ve understood your point correctly ....)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I think too many profiles focus on what they don't want rather than what they do. This results in thinking it's OK to use your profile like a 1950s boarding house window. Don't sweat it op. It's a great filter.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like I’ve said on other posts regarding this. I have seen much more profiles stating black guys only/BBC only than I have stating no blacks/Asians etc. To me this is no different. If you’re going to call it discrimination it doesn’t only work one way.

Personally, if someone has any reference to race preference on their profile then it’s an instant delete from me as I really don’t see a need for it. Similarly, giving that as a reason for not conversing/potentially meeting is pointless also and can cause offence/upset to someone. It not a requirement to give an explanation as to why you don’t want to engage with someone. Just a simple thanks but no thanks should suffice. Like I said on another post today, people just make problems for themselves on here. Just get on with it and meet who you want to meet without offending people! It’s really not that difficult. Honestly.

I think the exclusion and fetishisation of races are sort of two sides of the same coin. Although I can understand someone on a site like this who is using it to fulfil fantasies might want to focus their attention on certain attributes, particularly if they have experience that says they love those particular attributes. Like LucieJo’s comments above for example."

Yes I suppose. As someone who doesn’t see “people” as some sort of a fetish I maybe do sometimes find that side difficult to understand. I have hundreds of preferences but they’re not set in stone (apart from the beard one) but I choose to keep them to myself and decide whether I want to meet someone on “them” not what colour, religion, culture they are! I have never found myself attracted to an Asian person. Would I state no way would I meet an Asian person? No of course I wouldn’t. People are individuals. Why can’t people understand that? And surely common sense should tell people that stating racial preferences on a profile is just bloody daft. It’s not hard to notice someone’s colour on a pic if you’re that against it. Why the need to state that as the reason as to why you don’t want to meet them. To me that’s just antagonistic and lacking common sense so I wouldn’t be interested at all in someone like that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People need to stop being so damn touchy about stuff unless its an insult directed at you personally its not you business far too many wannabe freedom fighters nowadays "

Some things are societal or community issues and as such I feel some responsibility to play my part in enacting social values that I believe are important. So I’ll speak up if I feel strongly enough about it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like I’ve said on other posts regarding this. I have seen much more profiles stating black guys only/BBC only than I have stating no blacks/Asians etc. To me this is no different. If you’re going to call it discrimination it doesn’t only work one way.

Personally, if someone has any reference to race preference on their profile then it’s an instant delete from me as I really don’t see a need for it. Similarly, giving that as a reason for not conversing/potentially meeting is pointless also and can cause offence/upset to someone. It not a requirement to give an explanation as to why you don’t want to engage with someone. Just a simple thanks but no thanks should suffice. Like I said on another post today, people just make problems for themselves on here. Just get on with it and meet who you want to meet without offending people! It’s really not that difficult. Honestly.

I think the exclusion and fetishisation of races are sort of two sides of the same coin. Although I can understand someone on a site like this who is using it to fulfil fantasies might want to focus their attention on certain attributes, particularly if they have experience that says they love those particular attributes. Like LucieJo’s comments above for example.

Yes I suppose. As someone who doesn’t see “people” as some sort of a fetish I maybe do sometimes find that side difficult to understand. I have hundreds of preferences but they’re not set in stone (apart from the beard one) but I choose to keep them to myself and decide whether I want to meet someone on “them” not what colour, religion, culture they are! I have never found myself attracted to an Asian person. Would I state no way would I meet an Asian person? No of course I wouldn’t. People are individuals. Why can’t people understand that? And surely common sense should tell people that stating racial preferences on a profile is just bloody daft. It’s not hard to notice someone’s colour on a pic if you’re that against it. Why the need to state that as the reason as to why you don’t want to meet them. To me that’s just antagonistic and lacking common sense so I wouldn’t be interested at all in someone like that. "

Nora - we are totally on the same page with this, hence my earlier comment re lists of “this is what don’t want” on profiles. It makes me slightly recoil, if I’m honest...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man"

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

It very much depends whether you view a sexual preference as ‘discrimination’. I personally don’t. I view excluding people from society, being abusive towards them, or unfairly treating them in some way on the basis of their skin colour as discrimination. I have a preference for tall, muscular, tattooed men to share my bed and my body with. Am I discriminating against the shorter, skinnier, untattooed men by choosing not to have sex with them? I would argue not. If I refused to employ a shorter, skinny man? Then yes.

Ah okay I gotcha now ! I just think race is a bigger issue in today’s society than height or build or tattoos, sure of course everyone’s got sexual preferences which is 110% up to them and who they engage with I am not really well versed in the subject of discrimination tbh I was just giving my 2 cents on the matter plus I was attracted because ice cream was mention heh"

I knew it was the ice cream that lured you in ....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I don't have any problems at all with that statement. It's concise and clear and very objective.

Get that a lot in gay websites before I crossdress (but asians there meant orientals, not subindian continent).

Take it with pride and move on, meet people who are attracted to you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?"

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

Well our preference at the end of our profile text will probably upset most of you on here!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This weird thing happened to me on here the other day - a couple were talking to me, said they wanted to meet, even saw my photos (including face) and wouldn’t stop going on about how much they wanted me to come over.

In conversation they asked me where in the Mediterranean I’m from (I always get mistaken from anything from Brazilian to Moroccan to Pakistani, to Spanish). I said I’m not Mediterranean, I’m mixed black/white. They then instantly blocked me upon learning that.

Just goes to show the psychology of people that have that “no blacks or Asians” mentality. It’s not even to do with how you look, it’s to do with their negative views of certain races. That’s why they’re able to blanket and say they don’t like entire races. It’s mad.

"

Now this is very interesting! So they're interested in the way you look but not if you are mixed race. Very weird in a way that they find you attractive yet their conditioned views will stop them from acting on it...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d also like to add that my sexual experiences to date have been predominantly with people of white British ethnicity, and one person of South African ethnicity. I have never slept with a black or Asian person. However - that’s because I simply haven’t been much exposed to individuals from those backgrounds to know whether I might or might not like to sleep with them. If a tall, muscular, tattooed black man came my way and swept me off my feet? His race would be irrelevant and I would allow myself to be swept off my feet

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like I’ve said on other posts regarding this. I have seen much more profiles stating black guys only/BBC only than I have stating no blacks/Asians etc. To me this is no different. If you’re going to call it discrimination it doesn’t only work one way.

Personally, if someone has any reference to race preference on their profile then it’s an instant delete from me as I really don’t see a need for it. Similarly, giving that as a reason for not conversing/potentially meeting is pointless also and can cause offence/upset to someone. It not a requirement to give an explanation as to why you don’t want to engage with someone. Just a simple thanks but no thanks should suffice. Like I said on another post today, people just make problems for themselves on here. Just get on with it and meet who you want to meet without offending people! It’s really not that difficult. Honestly.

I think the exclusion and fetishisation of races are sort of two sides of the same coin. Although I can understand someone on a site like this who is using it to fulfil fantasies might want to focus their attention on certain attributes, particularly if they have experience that says they love those particular attributes. Like LucieJo’s comments above for example.

Yes I suppose. As someone who doesn’t see “people” as some sort of a fetish I maybe do sometimes find that side difficult to understand. I have hundreds of preferences but they’re not set in stone (apart from the beard one) but I choose to keep them to myself and decide whether I want to meet someone on “them” not what colour, religion, culture they are! I have never found myself attracted to an Asian person. Would I state no way would I meet an Asian person? No of course I wouldn’t. People are individuals. Why can’t people understand that? And surely common sense should tell people that stating racial preferences on a profile is just bloody daft. It’s not hard to notice someone’s colour on a pic if you’re that against it. Why the need to state that as the reason as to why you don’t want to meet them. To me that’s just antagonistic and lacking common sense so I wouldn’t be interested at all in someone like that.

Nora - we are totally on the same page with this, hence my earlier comment re lists of “this is what don’t want” on profiles. It makes me slightly recoil, if I’m honest... "

Some things do. I must admit to having over 6ft only and the fact I don’t like beards on mine but that was just to hopefully cut down on the messages. I do think that’s different though. If I’m honest I can’t remember ever being offended so I’m pretty easygoing and nothing really bothers me but I accept that some people do get offended and I understand why. Like I said it’s just common sense which unfortunately too many people lack!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not."

Agreed. Unnecessary perhaps, yes, but not obnoxious. I thought the OP came across very eloquently in his post with not a hint of obnoxiousness (not sure if that’s a word )

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

It very much depends whether you view a sexual preference as ‘discrimination’. I personally don’t. I view excluding people from society, being abusive towards them, or unfairly treating them in some way on the basis of their skin colour as discrimination. I have a preference for tall, muscular, tattooed men to share my bed and my body with. Am I discriminating against the shorter, skinnier, untattooed men by choosing not to have sex with them? I would argue not. If I refused to employ a shorter, skinny man? Then yes.

Ah okay I gotcha now ! I just think race is a bigger issue in today’s society than height or build or tattoos, sure of course everyone’s got sexual preferences which is 110% up to them and who they engage with I am not really well versed in the subject of discrimination tbh I was just giving my 2 cents on the matter plus I was attracted because ice cream was mention heh

I knew it was the ice cream that lured you in .... "

What flavour is your favourite? (Future reference for ice cream dates haha)

A lot of good points here I’m glad everyone/most is being respectful and open about their opinions

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored. "

Mine says only interested in rich beautiful ppl who aren't mental and are great at sex.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored. "

Do you see that as any different to stating no blacks though? In effect you’re stating no white men. This is where I struggle with the discrimination bit. To me it’s the same but you don’t get people moaning about that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like I’ve said on other posts regarding this. I have seen much more profiles stating black guys only/BBC only than I have stating no blacks/Asians etc. To me this is no different. If you’re going to call it discrimination it doesn’t only work one way.

Personally, if someone has any reference to race preference on their profile then it’s an instant delete from me as I really don’t see a need for it. Similarly, giving that as a reason for not conversing/potentially meeting is pointless also and can cause offence/upset to someone. It not a requirement to give an explanation as to why you don’t want to engage with someone. Just a simple thanks but no thanks should suffice. Like I said on another post today, people just make problems for themselves on here. Just get on with it and meet who you want to meet without offending people! It’s really not that difficult. Honestly.

I think the exclusion and fetishisation of races are sort of two sides of the same coin. Although I can understand someone on a site like this who is using it to fulfil fantasies might want to focus their attention on certain attributes, particularly if they have experience that says they love those particular attributes. Like LucieJo’s comments above for example.

Yes I suppose. As someone who doesn’t see “people” as some sort of a fetish I maybe do sometimes find that side difficult to understand. I have hundreds of preferences but they’re not set in stone (apart from the beard one) but I choose to keep them to myself and decide whether I want to meet someone on “them” not what colour, religion, culture they are! I have never found myself attracted to an Asian person. Would I state no way would I meet an Asian person? No of course I wouldn’t. People are individuals. Why can’t people understand that? And surely common sense should tell people that stating racial preferences on a profile is just bloody daft. It’s not hard to notice someone’s colour on a pic if you’re that against it. Why the need to state that as the reason as to why you don’t want to meet them. To me that’s just antagonistic and lacking common sense so I wouldn’t be interested at all in someone like that. "

Maybe being antagonistic for some is what they are hoping to achieve with it.

I agree with you about what you are saying and I think the whole area of fetishisation is a bit of a minefield here.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not."

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People need to stop being so damn touchy about stuff unless its an insult directed at you personally its not you business far too many wannabe freedom fighters nowadays "

No there are not enough freedom fighters! Imagine if everyone stood against adversity and what they know is morally wrong? It would be a much better world! You should see it as your duty as a human being to stick for others when they are being unfairly treated as that could easily be you one day

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many black and asian people do you see going for eachother? They either stick to their own or go for white. So why is this never raised, the focus is ALWAYS on white people and their preferences. It is relentless pressure.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

Do you see that as any different to stating no blacks though? In effect you’re stating no white men. This is where I struggle with the discrimination bit. To me it’s the same but you don’t get people moaning about that. "

Straight men are effectively stating no gay or bi men though, so is sexuality sexist and homophobic too...?

(I'm still open to letting Clem suck me though, js......)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I dont get the preference thing, if people have a preference that's for them to decide.

Luna has different opinions but generally we are all just human every individual is exactly that no matter colour, creed or anything else.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People need to stop being so damn touchy about stuff unless its an insult directed at you personally its not you business far too many wannabe freedom fighters nowadays

No there are not enough freedom fighters! Imagine if everyone stood against adversity and what they know is morally wrong? It would be a much better world! You should see it as your duty as a human being to stick for others when they are being unfairly treated as that could easily be you one day"

Hmmm not sure about that. I would and have if it was going on in front of me. Other than that I’m too busy with my own shit to fight for everyone else!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How many black and asian people do you see going for eachother? They either stick to their own or go for white. So why is this never raised, the focus is ALWAYS on white people and their preferences. It is relentless pressure. "

I agree

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex. "

I didn’t feel in any way shape or form “guilt tripped” into sleeping with black men when I read his post. I felt invited into an engaging and intelligent debate about the psychology of human behaviour.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

Mine says only interested in rich beautiful ppl who aren't mental and are great at sex..... "

*cough* look over here *cough* it’s all about being subtle

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How many black and asian people do you see going for eachother? They either stick to their own or go for white. So why is this never raised, the focus is ALWAYS on white people and their preferences. It is relentless pressure. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

Mine says only interested in rich beautiful ppl who aren't mental and are great at sex.....

*cough* look over here *cough* it’s all about being subtle "

You are my fave man atm, I'm not far off sending a friend request....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I think you raise a really good point. One that I'd never considered until reading that viewpoint off another forumite.

And now I wonder the same too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex. "

That is what you have read into his motives for the post. I didn’t. I saw it as a genuine inquiry and have responded accordingly.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I could throw a couple of thoughts into the mix:

People are on here to enjoy themselves and fulfil fantasies. They don’t need to be fair or to give someone a chance, so they decide on their ‘fantasy’ sex partner and focus on that. If that fantasy figure is white, then I guess people want to be clear to those who don’t fit the mould. Yes it would be nice if the preferences were more positively and tactfully expressed.

Secondly, because this is a fantasy playground people aren’t necessarily being the person you’d meet on the street. For many of us we try to be a more sexy, enticing persona, maybe others think ‘fuck it, I don’t have to be nice for once I’m just going to say it as I see it because there are no consequences’?

Thirdly, women are overwhelmed with messages. We’re looking for reasons to winnow out people. Tiny details that wouldn’t be an issue in real life are used as reasons to say ‘no thanks’. That’s why I think socials and clubs are by far a better way to meet people than the rather objective, persnickety tick list mentality of message exchange on fab.

Don’t shoot the messenger on this one.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

Mine says only interested in rich beautiful ppl who aren't mental and are great at sex.....

*cough* look over here *cough* it’s all about being subtle "

Yes. Subtle, to me, is way sexier

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

That is what you have read into his motives for the post. I didn’t. I saw it as a genuine inquiry and have responded accordingly."

This

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

Do you see that as any different to stating no blacks though? In effect you’re stating no white men. This is where I struggle with the discrimination bit. To me it’s the same but you don’t get people moaning about that.

Straight men are effectively stating no gay or bi men though, so is sexuality sexist and homophobic too...?

(I'm still open to letting Clem suck me though, js......) "

Fair point. Guess that everyone has no's and suppose it's better to express it up front than getting turned down later. Perhaps PC started this back in the day, perhaps its religious connotations but for whatever reason it means all humans are not treated equal, don't you think?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

Do you see that as any different to stating no blacks though? In effect you’re stating no white men. This is where I struggle with the discrimination bit. To me it’s the same but you don’t get people moaning about that. "

I couldn't care less. Would my wife feel annoyed if she saw a man she fancied, but his name was "bbwlover121" or something? Im sure she'd just take it as that guys filter, and not bother making contact.

What worries me is people who won't meet black people, or anyone that's met a black person for sex. They are out there, and they're racist.

Also, if you see any black couples looking to full swap with white couples, or just watch their wife play with a white man, please send them our way.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d also like to add that my sexual experiences to date have been predominantly with people of white British ethnicity, and one person of South African ethnicity. I have never slept with a black or Asian person. However - that’s because I simply haven’t been much exposed to individuals from those backgrounds to know whether I might or might not like to sleep with them. If a tall, muscular, tattooed black man came my way and swept me off my feet? His race would be irrelevant and I would allow myself to be swept off my feet "

So, you claim that you’re not feeling guilt tripped.... why have you felt the need to explain then, why you haven’t yet fucked a black man?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

Do you see that as any different to stating no blacks though? In effect you’re stating no white men. This is where I struggle with the discrimination bit. To me it’s the same but you don’t get people moaning about that.

Straight men are effectively stating no gay or bi men though, so is sexuality sexist and homophobic too...?

(I'm still open to letting Clem suck me though, js......) "

Whenever you like. not Saturday though, me and Mrs fandango are going clubbing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

Do you see that as any different to stating no blacks though? In effect you’re stating no white men. This is where I struggle with the discrimination bit. To me it’s the same but you don’t get people moaning about that.

Straight men are effectively stating no gay or bi men though, so is sexuality sexist and homophobic too...?

(I'm still open to letting Clem suck me though, js......)

Fair point. Guess that everyone has no's and suppose it's better to express it up front than getting turned down later. Perhaps PC started this back in the day, perhaps its religious connotations but for whatever reason it means all humans are not treated equal, don't you think?"

I don't think all humans are - why do we compete if thats the case, why do ppl want to be the best? And I don't mean that racially at all, I mean some humans have more value, either emotionally or due to some skillset, leadership or other qualities....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

Do you see that as any different to stating no blacks though? In effect you’re stating no white men. This is where I struggle with the discrimination bit. To me it’s the same but you don’t get people moaning about that.

Straight men are effectively stating no gay or bi men though, so is sexuality sexist and homophobic too...?

(I'm still open to letting Clem suck me though, js......)

Whenever you like. not Saturday though, me and Mrs fandango are going clubbing. "

Noted

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How many black and asian people do you see going for eachother? They either stick to their own or go for white. So why is this never raised, the focus is ALWAYS on white people and their preferences. It is relentless pressure. "

You make an interesting point but I imagine part of it is the white British people are the vast majority of Fab users so it stands to reason that the focus would be there.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex. "

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d also like to add that my sexual experiences to date have been predominantly with people of white British ethnicity, and one person of South African ethnicity. I have never slept with a black or Asian person. However - that’s because I simply haven’t been much exposed to individuals from those backgrounds to know whether I might or might not like to sleep with them. If a tall, muscular, tattooed black man came my way and swept me off my feet? His race would be irrelevant and I would allow myself to be swept off my feet

So, you claim that you’re not feeling guilt tripped.... why have you felt the need to explain then, why you haven’t yet fucked a black man?"

I didn’t feel the need to explain as a result of guilt - this is not an emotion I feel in connection with Fab. I also didn’t really “feel the need” to explain if I’m honest, i chose to. And I chose to because the OP’s post prompted me to reflect on my sexual experiences to date and consider the cultural / race aspects of it, in a healthy “I wonder why I haven’t...” type way. Does that clarify?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know this is always a common theme on the forums but... I've never had it in real life where I've been talking to a girl and they're not interested because of the colour of my skin. I can usually tell that they are not interested and to be fair, the issue may have been my skin but thankfully it wasn't communicated. Yet on here I see it all the time and have been rejected because of it a fair few times.

My question is not about preference: I understand that some are fulfilling a fantasy or might want what they are used to. It is more about psychology: Like what happened in your life for you to find all individuals of that colour unattractive? Is it not some inherent race issue if you have no problems with equality and getting along with people of colour socially, but still find them unattractive? What about if Denzel Washington or Drake or Lenny Kravitz or Usher or Beyoncé was asking? Would you just reject them based on your rules? I don't know about you but I know my fav flavour of ice cream is mint choc chip and I know that because I tried them all. I also know that I am open to new flavours because I like all that ice cream has offered me so far.... Forgive the analogy...

Just so you all know this is not a dig at people who have stated what their preference is. If you want to get angry about the fact that you have sexually denounced all black or Asian and feel like you have to defend yourself then please take it elsewhere. This is more me trying to understand something that makes no sense to me, I am very liberal when it comes to the colour of my sexual partners and love the different qualities each race has to offer so find it interesting to hear why others don't"

Amen brother I'm mixed race, African/Asian and I think white people should be forced to have sex with me because I don't get many offers either. White people shouldn't be allowed to express any kind of preference when it comes to sex.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thread pull on it's way, behave folks

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

It very much depends whether you view a sexual preference as ‘discrimination’. I personally don’t. I view excluding people from society, being abusive towards them, or unfairly treating them in some way on the basis of their skin colour as discrimination. I have a preference for tall, muscular, tattooed men to share my bed and my body with. Am I discriminating against the shorter, skinnier, untattooed men by choosing not to have sex with them? I would argue not. If I refused to employ a shorter, skinny man? Then yes. "

Totally agree with this.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I could throw a couple of thoughts into the mix:

People are on here to enjoy themselves and fulfil fantasies. They don’t need to be fair or to give someone a chance, so they decide on their ‘fantasy’ sex partner and focus on that. If that fantasy figure is white, then I guess people want to be clear to those who don’t fit the mould. Yes it would be nice if the preferences were more positively and tactfully expressed.

Secondly, because this is a fantasy playground people aren’t necessarily being the person you’d meet on the street. For many of us we try to be a more sexy, enticing persona, maybe others think ‘fuck it, I don’t have to be nice for once I’m just going to say it as I see it because there are no consequences’?

Thirdly, women are overwhelmed with messages. We’re looking for reasons to winnow out people. Tiny details that wouldn’t be an issue in real life are used as reasons to say ‘no thanks’. That’s why I think socials and clubs are by far a better way to meet people than the rather objective, persnickety tick list mentality of message exchange on fab.

Don’t shoot the messenger on this one."

Found this interesting, whose to say one way or another, could always have a poll then express a cross section view, but what's the point in doing that. Opinions are opinions preferences are preferences we all just have to accept the knock backs and the positives and not let it get to us. I'm not having a go at anyone just voicing an additional opinion.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I'm always surprised that folk seem to focus on those that exclude.

I find it a better use of my time and energy to focus on those that include rather than those that exclude.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

Mine says only interested in rich beautiful ppl who aren't mental and are great at sex..... "

I’m not mental, it says on my veris, and I’m great at sex. The other two aren’t important are they? Why don’t you make an exception?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm always surprised that folk seem to focus on those that exclude.

I find it a better use of my time and energy to focus on those that include rather than those that exclude.

"

THIS!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thread pull on it's way, behave folks "

Eh? X

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Ok.. heres a few points. These are simple examples, and not broad brush statements..

Some people have an un conscious bias that excludes certain racial profiles. When they fantasise about sex, they dont imagine it with x or y. Why would anyone go along with something that doesn't turn them on?

With the amount of porn available, some people dont like interracial scenes. Personally I'm not a fan but that is down to the language and attitude used that as a white male, I cant get away with saying. A lot of the male performs basically objectifying and fetishising thenselves and their dicks based on colour. With the preference for the "bull" personality, which isn't to everyone's taste, this can e quite intimidating. Couple that with how many black guys on

fab portray themselves in their profile as being nothing more than a black dick with a bull persona, this can be offputting (this is from several female friends btw).

I am aware that there are a variety of sexual tastes on here, but having been shown messages from guys expecting sex because of the size and colour of their dicks and nothing else, left the females feeling less than adored.

Some of my female friends wont see Asian men, as their experiences have been less than polite. Alongside a lot of negative press regarding certain nationalities disregard for caucasian females.. one of my friends had a very bad experience..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I could throw a couple of thoughts into the mix:

People are on here to enjoy themselves and fulfil fantasies. They don’t need to be fair or to give someone a chance, so they decide on their ‘fantasy’ sex partner and focus on that. If that fantasy figure is white, then I guess people want to be clear to those who don’t fit the mould. Yes it would be nice if the preferences were more positively and tactfully expressed.

Secondly, because this is a fantasy playground people aren’t necessarily being the person you’d meet on the street. For many of us we try to be a more sexy, enticing persona, maybe others think ‘fuck it, I don’t have to be nice for once I’m just going to say it as I see it because there are no consequences’?

Thirdly, women are overwhelmed with messages. We’re looking for reasons to winnow out people. Tiny details that wouldn’t be an issue in real life are used as reasons to say ‘no thanks’. That’s why I think socials and clubs are by far a better way to meet people than the rather objective, persnickety tick list mentality of message exchange on fab.

Don’t shoot the messenger on this one."

All interesting and valid points

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile clearly says only interested in black guys. Yet is constantly ignored.

Mine says only interested in rich beautiful ppl who aren't mental and are great at sex.....

I’m not mental, it says on my veris, and I’m great at sex. The other two aren’t important are they? Why don’t you make an exception? "

Preferences, not absolutes! Will you actually consider having sex with me my love...?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me "

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nicely, and eloquently put. It could be down to many things (not a Psychologist), like experience with different races of people, such as growing up in a particular community, school, work place, influences from family & friends etc. Personally, don’t think it’s down to a people simply not liking a colour of someone’s skin. After all, there’s plenty of fair skinned people who’ll spend a fortune on tanning themselves to go a few shades darker! We all have our preferences though, we’re also in that bracket, and for us the issues are somewhat deep rooted, but can assure you from our perspective, it’s not an inherent dislike of the colour of ones skin. Hubby is half English and half Spanish and the lucky sod gets to sport an all year round tan, that said, it hasn’t stopped people questioning his heritage or calling him Asian and making assumptions about him because of that. They usually shut the fuck up though when he babbles away in Spanish at them.

Don’t listen to the morons who perpetually tell you that this issue has been done to death on forums either, you’re entitled to post what you like. Those same people are always happy to comment positively on sexually related threads which have been done a billion times a day, everyday. Fuck em! Or not as the case may be.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I could throw a couple of thoughts into the mix:

People are on here to enjoy themselves and fulfil fantasies. They don’t need to be fair or to give someone a chance, so they decide on their ‘fantasy’ sex partner and focus on that. If that fantasy figure is white, then I guess people want to be clear to those who don’t fit the mould. Yes it would be nice if the preferences were more positively and tactfully expressed.

Secondly, because this is a fantasy playground people aren’t necessarily being the person you’d meet on the street. For many of us we try to be a more sexy, enticing persona, maybe others think ‘fuck it, I don’t have to be nice for once I’m just going to say it as I see it because there are no consequences’?

Thirdly, women are overwhelmed with messages. We’re looking for reasons to winnow out people. Tiny details that wouldn’t be an issue in real life are used as reasons to say ‘no thanks’. That’s why I think socials and clubs are by far a better way to meet people than the rather objective, persnickety tick list mentality of message exchange on fab.

Don’t shoot the messenger on this one."

I agree with you on this one! All of your points are going to be valid reasons why women especially have these things on their profile. Not sure whether I've seen many men say similar things on their profile... Then again I'm not looking at men's profiles so guessing I wouldn't know. Maybe the ratio has a lot to do with it...

One thing I have definitely noticed is people painting a picture that is not of their likeness. A couple of times I have expected to meet a confident sassy young lady and yet the person I meet is a lot more fragile. I guess that comes with the fantasy element, almost like a form of escapism

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I could throw a couple of thoughts into the mix:

People are on here to enjoy themselves and fulfil fantasies. They don’t need to be fair or to give someone a chance, so they decide on their ‘fantasy’ sex partner and focus on that. If that fantasy figure is white, then I guess people want to be clear to those who don’t fit the mould. Yes it would be nice if the preferences were more positively and tactfully expressed.

Secondly, because this is a fantasy playground people aren’t necessarily being the person you’d meet on the street. For many of us we try to be a more sexy, enticing persona, maybe others think ‘fuck it, I don’t have to be nice for once I’m just going to say it as I see it because there are no consequences’?

Thirdly, women are overwhelmed with messages. We’re looking for reasons to winnow out people. Tiny details that wouldn’t be an issue in real life are used as reasons to say ‘no thanks’. That’s why I think socials and clubs are by far a better way to meet people than the rather objective, persnickety tick list mentality of message exchange on fab.

Don’t shoot the messenger on this one."

I think there are a number of posters that would agree with your points and I think the 1st and 3rd points convey well what is often behind how women and couples make their selection decisions.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you...."

I’m not sure what you’re seeing in the OP’s post that no one else can. I’m pretty sure though it’s not a reflection of him.

It makes perfect sense to enquire into psychological reasons for preferences, because, my default, all preferences are psychological.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*by default, that should have been

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am of Indian origin and I met a woman through okcupid couple of years ago. She was caucasian and had only been with men of the same race. We talked for a bit and we clicked. Once we exchanged the pictures she told me that she is not into any other race as she didn't have an attraction towards me. We kept talking as friends and after 6 months we met for a coffee. We kissed and we went our own way. The next time we met, I gave her a massage and we ended up having sex. We met a few times after that. She initiated all our meetings after that.My point is everyone has their own prejudices in their sub conscious mind. Some of them stick to what they know and what they are content with. I think there are a lot of women on here who think progressively than a few who are a bit shallow.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you....

I’m not sure what you’re seeing in the OP’s post that no one else can. I’m pretty sure though it’s not a reflection of him.

It makes perfect sense to enquire into psychological reasons for preferences, because, my default, all preferences are psychological. "

So, visual preferences are not allowed now, as they’re racist....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"It's an egregious act to write something on a profile like no blacks or asians (or any other skin colour or race for that matter). If that's their preference then fine, buy why do they have to write it out? Are they worried they'll be inundated with hordes of people they'd never meet?

"

That's the point to me - it's insensitive at least, racist at worst, but you can't tell which.

I think there can be some physical racial characteristics that people can find more or less attractive without necessarily being racist, that comes down to physical preferences I think.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you....

I’m not sure what you’re seeing in the OP’s post that no one else can. I’m pretty sure though it’s not a reflection of him.

It makes perfect sense to enquire into psychological reasons for preferences, because, my default, all preferences are psychological.

So, visual preferences are not allowed now, as they’re racist...."

At what point has either me or the OP expressed the view that visual preferences are racist? Some people do unfortunately subscribe to that view. But not me, nor him from what I have read. Therefore, I’m not sure what your point is here.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

OP, are you willing to sleep with anyone? No matter their age, height, weight, gender..? I'm imagining not.

In fact, your profile states women upto 45. Why won't you meet 70 year olds? Or TVs? Because of preference and attraction. And that's fine, man.

It's not a big deal. The majority of people here are after specifics. Be that experiences, type of people, fetishes, etc.

There doesn't have to be a deep psychological reason for a persons preference. Whether that be skin colour, hair colour, height, weight.. people are just attracted to different things.

Some people have their own reasons, yes. But for the majority.. it's preference.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you....

I’m not sure what you’re seeing in the OP’s post that no one else can. I’m pretty sure though it’s not a reflection of him.

It makes perfect sense to enquire into psychological reasons for preferences, because, my default, all preferences are psychological.

So, visual preferences are not allowed now, as they’re racist....

At what point has either me or the OP expressed the view that visual preferences are racist? Some people do unfortunately subscribe to that view. But not me, nor him from what I have read. Therefore, I’m not sure what your point is here. "

You have obviously been responding to a thread about bagels then....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Nicely, and eloquently put. It could be down to many things (not a Psychologist), like experience with different races of people, such as growing up in a particular community, school, work place, influences from family & friends etc. Personally, don’t think it’s down to a people simply not liking a colour of someone’s skin. After all, there’s plenty of fair skinned people who’ll spend a fortune on tanning themselves to go a few shades darker! We all have our preferences though, we’re also in that bracket, and for us the issues are somewhat deep rooted, but can assure you from our perspective, it’s not an inherent dislike of the colour of ones skin. Hubby is half English and half Spanish and the lucky sod gets to sport an all year round tan, that said, it hasn’t stopped people questioning his heritage or calling him Asian and making assumptions about him because of that. They usually shut the fuck up though when he babbles away in Spanish at them.

Don’t listen to the morons who perpetually tell you that this issue has been done to death on forums either, you’re entitled to post what you like. Those same people are always happy to comment positively on sexually related threads which have been done a billion times a day, everyday. Fuck em! Or not as the case may be.

"

I think it's brilliant to have a discussion which actually opens up and questions "why" a person views things the way they do.

From personal experience I've had quite a few people with the "no blacks/coloured people" line on their profile who have messaged me expressing an interest to meet. I always explain that I am not white and that leads to the me being an exception line of response or not being "too black" which I find interesting in itself.

I do find that I tend to be fetishisized rather than excluded. I'm exotic but not *too* exotic. Just the acceptable level of it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP, are you willing to sleep with anyone? No matter their age, height, weight, gender..? I'm imagining not.

In fact, your profile states women upto 45. Why won't you meet 70 year olds? Or TVs? Because of preference and attraction. And that's fine, man.

It's not a big deal. The majority of people here are after specifics. Be that experiences, type of people, fetishes, etc.

There doesn't have to be a deep psychological reason for a persons preference. Whether that be skin colour, hair colour, height, weight.. people are just attracted to different things.

Some people have their own reasons, yes. But for the majority.. it's preference. "

I kinda agree - may aswell put up a post on the meaning of life because psychological reasoning is such a varied thing and the forum is filled with ppl at different levels and abilities of emotional intelligence and openness. Never gonna get anything other than a big ole fight scene...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you....

I’m not sure what you’re seeing in the OP’s post that no one else can. I’m pretty sure though it’s not a reflection of him.

It makes perfect sense to enquire into psychological reasons for preferences, because, my default, all preferences are psychological.

So, visual preferences are not allowed now, as they’re racist....

At what point has either me or the OP expressed the view that visual preferences are racist? Some people do unfortunately subscribe to that view. But not me, nor him from what I have read. Therefore, I’m not sure what your point is here. "

Quoting from OP..

"Like what happened in your life for you to find all individuals of that colour unattractive? Is it not some inherent race issue if you have no problems with equality and getting along with people of colour socially, but still find them unattractive?"

He does suggest it's possibly an inherent race issue. He's not out right stating it, but definitely raising the possibility.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you....

I’m not sure what you’re seeing in the OP’s post that no one else can. I’m pretty sure though it’s not a reflection of him.

It makes perfect sense to enquire into psychological reasons for preferences, because, my default, all preferences are psychological.

So, visual preferences are not allowed now, as they’re racist....

At what point has either me or the OP expressed the view that visual preferences are racist? Some people do unfortunately subscribe to that view. But not me, nor him from what I have read. Therefore, I’m not sure what your point is here.

You have obviously been responding to a thread about bagels then...."

Read my response again. Some people on here feel that to express a sexual preference based on race is racist - I personally don’t (and I’ve expressed the exact opposite in previous replies further up the thread). I also haven’t read anything from the OP that implies his personal view is that white women are being racist - what I read was a considered and eloquent question about the psychology behind personal preferences. So again, I ask you, when have either I or the OP said white women are racist for not sleeping with black men?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"It's an egregious act to write something on a profile like no blacks or asians (or any other skin colour or race for that matter). If that's their preference then fine, buy why do they have to write it out? Are they worried they'll be inundated with hordes of people they'd never meet?

That's the point to me - it's insensitive at least, racist at worst, but you can't tell which.

I think there can be some physical racial characteristics that people can find more or less attractive without necessarily being racist, that comes down to physical preferences I think."

Indeed. The conscious decision to blatantly state the need to exclude is without a doubt racism on some of level, regardless of the reasons behind your choices.

The human mind is far too complex to boil it down to simple racism based on attraction. For some it will be, but not everyone and it is unfair to draw a line in the sand.

You can't simplify something as personal and intimate as attraction especially sexual attraction down to racism and hatred.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you...."

Because everything we do has a psychological trigger and it fascinates me. If mine dictated that I didn't find any white women attractive I would look into it, I would want to know why I don't find an entire colour of people unattractive. Maybe you have no need to grow or for self betterment and that is why we have a differing opinion.

I don't think it is human nature to like the same as us as mixing races would be a hell of a lot less common if so. Also there wouldn't be a massive LBGT community like there is. We like what we like because of the social conditioning and experiences we have growing up. Hence why I made this forum to discuss the reasons. Like I have a very clear understanding of why I have a certain type and will openly discuss it as that is the sort of person I am.

Thanks god it is not 1845! No one has said anything about women HAVING to sleep with anyone. I also don't expect anyone to feel guilty about what their preference is and I am not calling anyone a racist for their choices. I like BBW women but unlike you I wouldn't call them fat in the first instance as I now it will cause offence. Maybe that's where we differ: I care, or at least try to care about all my brothers and sisters. If you don't care about me or my topics of conversations then you know what to do

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get over it and see the ones that will. Have plenty of others have ie obstacles age weight

Really? Is there any need to be so aggressive in your response?

It is a well framed question and deserves considered responses not to be dismissed and discounted.

hence why I read it carefully and gave a considered and intelligent response

I think there is more discrimination against race than there is height and weight though ? Just my view as well,

It very much depends whether you view a sexual preference as ‘discrimination’. I personally don’t. I view excluding people from society, being abusive towards them, or unfairly treating them in some way on the basis of their skin colour as discrimination. I have a preference for tall, muscular, tattooed men to share my bed and my body with. Am I discriminating against the shorter, skinnier, untattooed men by choosing not to have sex with them? I would argue not. If I refused to employ a shorter, skinny man? Then yes.

Ah okay I gotcha now ! I just think race is a bigger issue in today’s society than height or build or tattoos, sure of course everyone’s got sexual preferences which is 110% up to them and who they engage with I am not really well versed in the subject of discrimination tbh I was just giving my 2 cents on the matter plus I was attracted because ice cream was mention heh

I knew it was the ice cream that lured you in ....

What flavour is your favourite? (Future reference for ice cream dates haha)

A lot of good points here I’m glad everyone/most is being respectful and open about their opinions "

Strawberry please

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/11/19 12:51:54]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nicely, and eloquently put. It could be down to many things (not a Psychologist), like experience with different races of people, such as growing up in a particular community, school, work place, influences from family & friends etc. Personally, don’t think it’s down to a people simply not liking a colour of someone’s skin. After all, there’s plenty of fair skinned people who’ll spend a fortune on tanning themselves to go a few shades darker! We all have our preferences though, we’re also in that bracket, and for us the issues are somewhat deep rooted, but can assure you from our perspective, it’s not an inherent dislike of the colour of ones skin. Hubby is half English and half Spanish and the lucky sod gets to sport an all year round tan, that said, it hasn’t stopped people questioning his heritage or calling him Asian and making assumptions about him because of that. They usually shut the fuck up though when he babbles away in Spanish at them.

Don’t listen to the morons who perpetually tell you that this issue has been done to death on forums either, you’re entitled to post what you like. Those same people are always happy to comment positively on sexually related threads which have been done a billion times a day, everyday. Fuck em! Or not as the case may be.

I think it's brilliant to have a discussion which actually opens up and questions "why" a person views things the way they do.

From personal experience I've had quite a few people with the "no blacks/coloured people" line on their profile who have messaged me expressing an interest to meet. I always explain that I am not white and that leads to the me being an exception line of response or not being "too black" which I find interesting in itself.

I do find that I tend to be fetishisized rather than excluded. I'm exotic but not *too* exotic. Just the acceptable level of it. "

The too black sort of comments are the weirdest! Do they get out the colour chart for this one?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you....

Because everything we do has a psychological trigger and it fascinates me. If mine dictated that I didn't find any white women attractive I would look into it, I would want to know why I don't find an entire colour of people unattractive. Maybe you have no need to grow or for self betterment and that is why we have a differing opinion.

I don't think it is human nature to like the same as us as mixing races would be a hell of a lot less common if so. Also there wouldn't be a massive LBGT community like there is. We like what we like because of the social conditioning and experiences we have growing up. Hence why I made this forum to discuss the reasons. Like I have a very clear understanding of why I have a certain type and will openly discuss it as that is the sort of person I am.

Thanks god it is not 1845! No one has said anything about women HAVING to sleep with anyone. I also don't expect anyone to feel guilty about what their preference is and I am not calling anyone a racist for their choices. I like BBW women but unlike you I wouldn't call them fat in the first instance as I now it will cause offence. Maybe that's where we differ: I care, or at least try to care about all my brothers and sisters. If you don't care about me or my topics of conversations then you know what to do"

For what’s its worth, you have explained yourself very eloquently and prompted a very interesting discussion that has certainly made me reflect a little on my own preferences and where they come from. To clarify (again) - I feel in no way guilt tripped into ‘sleeping with black men’ as others have presumed to know. Rather an insult to my intelligence and strong mindedness to suggest I could be guilt tripped into sleeping with anyone. But there you go.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Removed by poster at 01/11/19 12:51:54]"

Cant argue with that, but I think maybe the OP was being a little more subtle, not telling anyone what to do, just asking why.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight has to equal sexist then by default

Gilf agest

And so on

Funny how calling someone bbc is racest yet no body says anything

About big white cocks or pawgs

Piont is look hard enough theres always something to complain about dunno where you get the energy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Removed by poster at 01/11/19 12:51:54]

Cant argue with that, but I think maybe the OP was being a little more subtle, not telling anyone what to do, just asking why....."

Smh

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you....

I’m not sure what you’re seeing in the OP’s post that no one else can. I’m pretty sure though it’s not a reflection of him.

It makes perfect sense to enquire into psychological reasons for preferences, because, my default, all preferences are psychological.

So, visual preferences are not allowed now, as they’re racist....

At what point has either me or the OP expressed the view that visual preferences are racist? Some people do unfortunately subscribe to that view. But not me, nor him from what I have read. Therefore, I’m not sure what your point is here.

You have obviously been responding to a thread about bagels then....

Read my response again. Some people on here feel that to express a sexual preference based on race is racist - I personally don’t (and I’ve expressed the exact opposite in previous replies further up the thread). I also haven’t read anything from the OP that implies his personal view is that white women are being racist - what I read was a considered and eloquent question about the psychology behind personal preferences. So again, I ask you, when have either I or the OP said white women are racist for not sleeping with black men? "

The op is of the opinion, that there must be a mental retardation/trauma, which is the reasoning for white women not wishing to sleep with him. He feels that they SHOULD at least try him before being allowed a preference. What are the psychological undertones of that? It’s forceful and negates free will.

“It makes perfect sense to enquire into psychological reasons for preferences, because, my default, all preferences are psychological” the preferences in this case - being visual, yes? You have already been guilt tripped into feeling that your own preference is wrong. Why not look at the psychological reasons behind this post. If the op were not black, and instead were an overweight white man named bob, asking the same of black women; I reckon that the responses would be a lot different.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Removed by poster at 01/11/19 12:51:54]

Cant argue with that, but I think maybe the OP was being a little more subtle, not telling anyone what to do, just asking why....."

YES. Thank god for sanity

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's an egregious act to write something on a profile like no blacks or asians (or any other skin colour or race for that matter). If that's their preference then fine, buy why do they have to write it out? Are they worried they'll be inundated with hordes of people they'd never meet?

That's the point to me - it's insensitive at least, racist at worst, but you can't tell which.

I think there can be some physical racial characteristics that people can find more or less attractive without necessarily being racist, that comes down to physical preferences I think.

Indeed. The conscious decision to blatantly state the need to exclude is without a doubt racism on some of level, regardless of the reasons behind your choices.

The human mind is far too complex to boil it down to simple racism based on attraction. For some it will be, but not everyone and it is unfair to draw a line in the sand.

You can't simplify something as personal and intimate as attraction especially sexual attraction down to racism and hatred. "

Very valid point here! You might just not like something and not be able to explain it. It doesn't always have to boil down to racism. My point is more that if it isn't about race than why say no blacks or whites? I am mixed race so probably have a very different experience to most with what I have been exposed to growing up.

We are very complex and not all things can be explained... To me that throws even more interest into the situation though. Why do we have this impulses, dislikes and likes that we can't explain? I like discussing things as you've probably guessed

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is a visual vs a psychological preference? I'm confused. I thought a visual could be explained psychologically....? Surely they are one in the same...?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry.

Fab is a sex site. I do not have to display the tolerance towards all that I display in real life.

I decide who I want to fuck. I decide what they should look like. I decide what to write on my profile. I don’t give a damn what the rest think. You don’t like it then move on. Don’t try to guilt trip me, don’t try to get me to change or explain my choices. Don’t be condescending by suggesting you’re oh so better than me because you will consider fucking anyone. Bully for you and quite frankly? I don’t give a damn. END

Sex is still

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Removed by poster at 01/11/19 12:51:54]

Cant argue with that, but I think maybe the OP was being a little more subtle, not telling anyone what to do, just asking why.....

YES. Thank god for sanity "

Hey beautiful

(that's a visual, psychological right there)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you....

I’m not sure what you’re seeing in the OP’s post that no one else can. I’m pretty sure though it’s not a reflection of him.

It makes perfect sense to enquire into psychological reasons for preferences, because, my default, all preferences are psychological.

So, visual preferences are not allowed now, as they’re racist....

At what point has either me or the OP expressed the view that visual preferences are racist? Some people do unfortunately subscribe to that view. But not me, nor him from what I have read. Therefore, I’m not sure what your point is here.

You have obviously been responding to a thread about bagels then....

Read my response again. Some people on here feel that to express a sexual preference based on race is racist - I personally don’t (and I’ve expressed the exact opposite in previous replies further up the thread). I also haven’t read anything from the OP that implies his personal view is that white women are being racist - what I read was a considered and eloquent question about the psychology behind personal preferences. So again, I ask you, when have either I or the OP said white women are racist for not sleeping with black men?

The op is of the opinion, that there must be a mental retardation/trauma, which is the reasoning for white women not wishing to sleep with him. He feels that they SHOULD at least try him before being allowed a preference. What are the psychological undertones of that? It’s forceful and negates free will.

“It makes perfect sense to enquire into psychological reasons for preferences, because, my default, all preferences are psychological” the preferences in this case - being visual, yes? You have already been guilt tripped into feeling that your own preference is wrong. Why not look at the psychological reasons behind this post. If the op were not black, and instead were an overweight white man named bob, asking the same of black women; I reckon that the responses would be a lot different. "

Ok. I’m a patient woman but this is becoming draining.

1. I do NOT feel guilt tripped in the slightest. Not even a teeny weeny little bit. So please stop with that.

2. The OP absolutely does not refer to “mental retardation” (which, by the way, is now a politically incorrect term - the term learning disability or intellectual disability is preferred these days), nor does he refer to trauma.

3. I don’t want to sleep with Bob either, and I don’t feel guilty about that (unless he has tattoos in which case I might be won over).

I’m not sure what else I can possibly say.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Positive or negative discrimination is always short sighted.

How does the colour of skin insure you have a stereotypical attribute good or bad?

There are profiles on here that say black or Asian ONLY!

Im much more interested in meeting someone who wants to get know me... And me them.

Rather than use each other like we have come out of a stereotyped mould.

To answer yout specific question.

I think it's usually a bad experince.

Instead of attribute that experince to that one person in that time and place.

Its easier for their brain to just to make the assumption all people like (that) ... Are like (that)

Yeah I've heard that excuse before. Surely people aren't that silly to believe that all people within a race or colour act the same way. Like I cold say that all white people will act like Hitler or Trump but that would be forgetting the wonderfully tolerant white folk like my old man

Hitler was half Hebrew...

There are far more profiles on here that state they won’t meet white males. Your expectation that everyone should “try” you, before deciding what they like - is rather obnoxious, no?

Obnoxious? Strong word to use for what might be perceived as a rational thing to do. Although as other posts have said I agree we don’t have to try something sexually to decide whether we like it or not.

The op is in attempts to guilt trip white women to sleep with him. The psychology behind his post is “if you won’t at least try me, it’s due to my skin, and you’re a racist”. It’s the work of a spoilt child. Just look at the posts from women “I haven’t been with a black man because...” no one needs to explain. People have preferences, it’s not racist, to no want to sleep with a black man/woman.

In regards to it not being obnoxious, allow men to contact you. You shall receive the same posts from gay men in regards to bareback anal sex.

I love when people tell you the reason why YOU did something! I do not pick up women on the forum, I use it as a means to discuss things objectively, especially with those who have differing opinions. I find it interesting and a great way to get people to open up because most are anonymous.

At no point have I stated that people should not express what they want. I just find it hard to believe that we are still blanket rejecting people on race or colour. Like what sort of event has happened to make you find all black/white/brown people unattractive? And ladies don't have to feel bad about not wanting to sleep with me because of the colour of my skin. Pretty obvious that we aren't meant to get together if that's the case. I more want to discuss and get an understanding of something that is not me

Why do you feel that there must be a psychological trigger to cause their preference? Skinny people like other skinny people, no one likes gingers, fat people prefer fat and white white and, for some reason black white and Asian Asian. It is what it is, though there will always be those that differ, the majority of people prefer those that resemble themselves. It’s human nature, there are threads on this topic every day. It’s apparently racist for a white man to get irate over the “no white men” comments yet it’s racist if every white woman isn’t willing to sleep with every black man.

You’re not hard done by and this is not 1845. Women don’t HAVE to sleep with you DUE to your skin colour. I mean, why won’t you sleep with men? Why not fat women? Your post is very much about shaming people for a preference. I doubt that you care about white/black/Asian women that won’t sleep with white men. Thus, why should we have to care about you....

Because everything we do has a psychological trigger and it fascinates me. If mine dictated that I didn't find any white women attractive I would look into it, I would want to know why I don't find an entire colour of people unattractive. Maybe you have no need to grow or for self betterment and that is why we have a differing opinion.

I don't think it is human nature to like the same as us as mixing races would be a hell of a lot less common if so. Also there wouldn't be a massive LBGT community like there is. We like what we like because of the social conditioning and experiences we have growing up. Hence why I made this forum to discuss the reasons. Like I have a very clear understanding of why I have a certain type and will openly discuss it as that is the sort of person I am.

Thanks god it is not 1845! No one has said anything about women HAVING to sleep with anyone. I also don't expect anyone to feel guilty about what their preference is and I am not calling anyone a racist for their choices. I like BBW women but unlike you I wouldn't call them fat in the first instance as I now it will cause offence. Maybe that's where we differ: I care, or at least try to care about all my brothers and sisters. If you don't care about me or my topics of conversations then you know what to do"

The lgbt community and mixing of races within couples is a tiny fraction of society. Why can a group not wish to sleep with those that appear similar to themselves? Why are they not allowed to find an entire race ugly? Races have differing features, some that many find unattractive. That’s preference, get over it. There are a majority that wouldn’t like me, for being ginger - I don’t feel there’s a deeper meaning to it, it’s just visually unattractive to them. Simple....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This topic is becoming tedious now. Seen numerous threads where people complain about not being somebody's type, based on skin colour......who cares!

If I'm not their type because of my skin, I move along. No need to get all pissy about it. Nobody owes anyone sex, or even friendship.

Anyone who is getting abusive messages from people that hate being rejected based on race, don't worry about it. You are entitled to your preferences & normal people understand that.

That goes for anyone, whether you're brown, black, or white etc. Just be you. Like who you like. Reject who who don't like!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is a visual vs a psychological preference? I'm confused. I thought a visual could be explained psychologically....? Surely they are one in the same...?"

They absolutely are, you are correct. Hence my confusion with the constant reference to “why are we looking for psychological triggers to preferences”. Because human psychology drives all behaviour, that’s why.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is a visual vs a psychological preference? I'm confused. I thought a visual could be explained psychologically....? Surely they are one in the same...?"

Yep we take in data through our five senses and our brain decides whether we like it or not presumably based on our genetics and experiences and the beliefs and values we have learned over our lives. I’m pretty sure that’s psychological

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Straight has to equal sexist then by default

Gilf agest

And so on

Funny how calling someone bbc is racest yet no body says anything

About big white cocks or pawgs

Piont is look hard enough theres always something to complain about dunno where you get the energy"

If I make one point it does not mean that I am denouncing any others. If I don't mention BWC in this conversation it is because I didn't think it was relevant not that I don't care about the plight of the well hung white man

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This topic is becoming tedious now. Seen numerous threads where people complain about not being somebody's type, based on skin colour......who cares!

If I'm not their type because of my skin, I move along. No need to get all pissy about it. Nobody owes anyone sex, or even friendship.

Anyone who is getting abusive messages from people that hate being rejected based on race, don't worry about it. You are entitled to your preferences & normal people understand that.

That goes for anyone, whether you're brown, black, or white etc. Just be you. Like who you like. Reject who who don't like!"

You care! Obviously enough to comment on it a few times

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is a visual vs a psychological preference? I'm confused. I thought a visual could be explained psychologically....? Surely they are one in the same...?

Yep we take in data through our five senses and our brain decides whether we like it or not presumably based on our genetics and experiences and the beliefs and values we have learned over our lives. I’m pretty sure that’s psychological "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol okay, champ.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"It's an egregious act to write something on a profile like no blacks or asians (or any other skin colour or race for that matter). If that's their preference then fine, buy why do they have to write it out? Are they worried they'll be inundated with hordes of people they'd never meet?

That's the point to me - it's insensitive at least, racist at worst, but you can't tell which.

I think there can be some physical racial characteristics that people can find more or less attractive without necessarily being racist, that comes down to physical preferences I think.

Indeed. The conscious decision to blatantly state the need to exclude is without a doubt racism on some of level, regardless of the reasons behind your choices.

The human mind is far too complex to boil it down to simple racism based on attraction. For some it will be, but not everyone and it is unfair to draw a line in the sand.

You can't simplify something as personal and intimate as attraction especially sexual attraction down to racism and hatred.

Very valid point here! You might just not like something and not be able to explain it. It doesn't always have to boil down to racism. My point is more that if it isn't about race than why say no blacks or whites? I am mixed race so probably have a very different experience to most with what I have been exposed to growing up.

We are very complex and not all things can be explained... To me that throws even more interest into the situation though. Why do we have this impulses, dislikes and likes that we can't explain? I like discussing things as you've probably guessed"

I agree. People love to go for the most convenient and quick answer, which is usually hate. Sometimes they are correct it is racism.

When, as I say the human mind just does not work that way. There are lots of twists and turns, from experience to fear, to possibly instinctual.

For people to just take the stance of it being about racism and hatred is very stubborn and makes it even more about hate, when it should be about discussing and understanding.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

I'll state again.. quotation from OP.

"Like what happened in your life for you to find all individuals of that colour unattractive? Is it not some inherent race issue if you have no problems with equality and getting along with people of colour socially, but still find them unattractive?"

The theory of inherent race problem was instantly put out there.

Yes, all preferences come from a physiological place.. however that doesn't mean something "happened in your life" to make you have that preference..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is a visual vs a psychological preference? I'm confused. I thought a visual could be explained psychologically....? Surely they are one in the same...?

They absolutely are, you are correct. Hence my confusion with the constant reference to “why are we looking for psychological triggers to preferences”. Because human psychology drives all behaviour, that’s why. "

What a contradiction to your previous posts.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's an egregious act to write something on a profile like no blacks or asians (or any other skin colour or race for that matter). If that's their preference then fine, buy why do they have to write it out? Are they worried they'll be inundated with hordes of people they'd never meet?

That's the point to me - it's insensitive at least, racist at worst, but you can't tell which.

I think there can be some physical racial characteristics that people can find more or less attractive without necessarily being racist, that comes down to physical preferences I think.

Indeed. The conscious decision to blatantly state the need to exclude is without a doubt racism on some of level, regardless of the reasons behind your choices.

The human mind is far too complex to boil it down to simple racism based on attraction. For some it will be, but not everyone and it is unfair to draw a line in the sand.

You can't simplify something as personal and intimate as attraction especially sexual attraction down to racism and hatred.

Very valid point here! You might just not like something and not be able to explain it. It doesn't always have to boil down to racism. My point is more that if it isn't about race than why say no blacks or whites? I am mixed race so probably have a very different experience to most with what I have been exposed to growing up.

We are very complex and not all things can be explained... To me that throws even more interest into the situation though. Why do we have this impulses, dislikes and likes that we can't explain? I like discussing things as you've probably guessed

I agree. People love to go for the most convenient and quick answer, which is usually hate. Sometimes they are correct it is racism.

When, as I say the human mind just does not work that way. There are lots of twists and turns, from experience to fear, to possibly instinctual.

For people to just take the stance of it being about racism and hatred is very stubborn and makes it even more about hate, when it should be about discussing and understanding. "

110% - discussion and understanding is the key. The OP presented his post perfectly to invite just that. Others have read into his post in bizarre ways, imho

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Straight has to equal sexist then by default

Gilf agest

And so on

Funny how calling someone bbc is racest yet no body says anything

About big white cocks or pawgs

Piont is look hard enough theres always something to complain about dunno where you get the energy

If I make one point it does not mean that I am denouncing any others. If I don't mention BWC in this conversation it is because I didn't think it was relevant not that I don't care about the plight of the well hung white man"

All those labels have come about because as a sexualised ‘community’ certain characteristics and preferences for them have been fetishised. And the labels are used to categorise people. I don’t think those fetishes are necessarily any form of ’ism’ but they can be.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Straight has to equal sexist then by default

Gilf agest

And so on

Funny how calling someone bbc is racest yet no body says anything

About big white cocks or pawgs

Piont is look hard enough theres always something to complain about dunno where you get the energy

If I make one point it does not mean that I am denouncing any others. If I don't mention BWC in this conversation it is because I didn't think it was relevant not that I don't care about the plight of the well hung white man

All those labels have come about because as a sexualised ‘community’ certain characteristics and preferences for them have been fetishised. And the labels are used to categorise people. I don’t think those fetishes are necessarily any form of ’ism’ but they can be."

And thats why its not racist its just a preference

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im fine with blacks and Asians I have two major obstacles. I’m a single guy and I’m also 54"
ditto!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is a visual vs a psychological preference? I'm confused. I thought a visual could be explained psychologically....? Surely they are one in the same...?

They absolutely are, you are correct. Hence my confusion with the constant reference to “why are we looking for psychological triggers to preferences”. Because human psychology drives all behaviour, that’s why.

What a contradiction to your previous posts. "

On a previous post I have suggested that the human mind and it’s complex psychology does not drive all behaviour? Are you sure about that? So I must have written something like “we are all controlled by a higher force... maybe robots.... or aliens... we do not make our own choices based on our minds”. I don’t recall that particular post.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool


"What is a visual vs a psychological preference? I'm confused. I thought a visual could be explained psychologically....? Surely they are one in the same...?

They absolutely are, you are correct. Hence my confusion with the constant reference to “why are we looking for psychological triggers to preferences”. Because human psychology drives all behaviour, that’s why.

What a contradiction to your previous posts.

On a previous post I have suggested that the human mind and it’s complex psychology does not drive all behaviour? Are you sure about that? So I must have written something like “we are all controlled by a higher force... maybe robots.... or aliens... we do not make our own choices based on our minds”. I don’t recall that particular post. "

Aliens made you forget posting it..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is a visual vs a psychological preference? I'm confused. I thought a visual could be explained psychologically....? Surely they are one in the same...?

They absolutely are, you are correct. Hence my confusion with the constant reference to “why are we looking for psychological triggers to preferences”. Because human psychology drives all behaviour, that’s why.

What a contradiction to your previous posts.

On a previous post I have suggested that the human mind and it’s complex psychology does not drive all behaviour? Are you sure about that? So I must have written something like “we are all controlled by a higher force... maybe robots.... or aliens... we do not make our own choices based on our minds”. I don’t recall that particular post.

Aliens made you forget posting it.. "

That’ll be it. Thank you. Thought I might be losing my mind there for a min.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"Sorry.

Fab is a sex site. I do not have to display the tolerance towards all that I display in real life.

I decide who I want to fuck. I decide what they should look like. I decide what to write on my profile. I don’t give a damn what the rest think. You don’t like it then move on. Don’t try to guilt trip me, don’t try to get me to change or explain my choices. Don’t be condescending by suggesting you’re oh so better than me because you will consider fucking anyone. Bully for you and quite frankly? I don’t give a damn. END

Sex is still "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" 110% - discussion and understanding is the key. The OP presented his post perfectly to invite just that. Others have read into his post in bizarre ways, imho"

I’m not sure whether it was bizarre as I understand the Baron’s train of thought. However I am curious as to the motives and intent behind it. Only he can know them and I’d be guessing if I attributed anything beyond playing devil’s advocate.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool


"What is a visual vs a psychological preference? I'm confused. I thought a visual could be explained psychologically....? Surely they are one in the same...?

They absolutely are, you are correct. Hence my confusion with the constant reference to “why are we looking for psychological triggers to preferences”. Because human psychology drives all behaviour, that’s why.

What a contradiction to your previous posts.

On a previous post I have suggested that the human mind and it’s complex psychology does not drive all behaviour? Are you sure about that? So I must have written something like “we are all controlled by a higher force... maybe robots.... or aliens... we do not make our own choices based on our minds”. I don’t recall that particular post.

Aliens made you forget posting it..

That’ll be it. Thank you. Thought I might be losing my mind there for a min..... "

The truth is out there..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is a visual vs a psychological preference? I'm confused. I thought a visual could be explained psychologically....? Surely they are one in the same...?

They absolutely are, you are correct. Hence my confusion with the constant reference to “why are we looking for psychological triggers to preferences”. Because human psychology drives all behaviour, that’s why.

What a contradiction to your previous posts.

On a previous post I have suggested that the human mind and it’s complex psychology does not drive all behaviour? Are you sure about that? So I must have written something like “we are all controlled by a higher force... maybe robots.... or aliens... we do not make our own choices based on our minds”. I don’t recall that particular post. "

You should re-read your arguments against my posts.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Straight has to equal sexist then by default

Gilf agest

And so on

Funny how calling someone bbc is racest yet no body says anything

About big white cocks or pawgs

Piont is look hard enough theres always something to complain about dunno where you get the energy

If I make one point it does not mean that I am denouncing any others. If I don't mention BWC in this conversation it is because I didn't think it was relevant not that I don't care about the plight of the well hung white man

All those labels have come about because as a sexualised ‘community’ certain characteristics and preferences for them have been fetishised. And the labels are used to categorise people. I don’t think those fetishes are necessarily any form of ’ism’ but they can be.

And thats why its not racist its just a preference "

It’s not as black and white as that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ediMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Its there way of showing tne world im selective haha,

i have preferences but dont feel the need to go out of my way to specifically single out a group of people who dont meet it and anyone that down plays your question “get over it” well we all know where that kind of thinking was common before.

You raised a very valid point my friend

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sorry.

Fab is a sex site. I do not have to display the tolerance towards all that I display in real life.

I decide who I want to fuck. I decide what they should look like. I decide what to write on my profile. I don’t give a damn what the rest think. You don’t like it then move on. Don’t try to guilt trip me, don’t try to get me to change or explain my choices. Don’t be condescending by suggesting you’re oh so better than me because you will consider fucking anyone. Bully for you and quite frankly? I don’t give a damn. END

Sex is still "

Fab is a sex site. It's full of people. People who all deserve my respect because they are people. Same as they would get if I met them in any other walks of life. I don't try and justify any bad actions, I instead try to be objective and realise that they are things I can learn from and hopefully better myself.

If you don't want to put yourself out there as a warm loving person that is your choice as you stated. Maybe that's you doing you. Who am I to judge?

To quote Tim Michin "I have, in the past, made important decisions about people I work with – agents and producers – based largely on how they treat wait staff in restaurants. I don’t care if you’re the most powerful cat in the room, I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful. So there."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Straight has to equal sexist then by default

Gilf agest

And so on

Funny how calling someone bbc is racest yet no body says anything

About big white cocks or pawgs

Piont is look hard enough theres always something to complain about dunno where you get the energy

If I make one point it does not mean that I am denouncing any others. If I don't mention BWC in this conversation it is because I didn't think it was relevant not that I don't care about the plight of the well hung white man

All those labels have come about because as a sexualised ‘community’ certain characteristics and preferences for them have been fetishised. And the labels are used to categorise people. I don’t think those fetishes are necessarily any form of ’ism’ but they can be.

And thats why its not racist its just a preference

It’s not as black and white as that."

fab is the land of absolutes im sure you knew that

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nicely, and eloquently put. It could be down to many things (not a Psychologist), like experience with different races of people, such as growing up in a particular community, school, work place, influences from family & friends etc. Personally, don’t think it’s down to a people simply not liking a colour of someone’s skin. After all, there’s plenty of fair skinned people who’ll spend a fortune on tanning themselves to go a few shades darker! We all have our preferences though, we’re also in that bracket, and for us the issues are somewhat deep rooted, but can assure you from our perspective, it’s not an inherent dislike of the colour of ones skin. Hubby is half English and half Spanish and the lucky sod gets to sport an all year round tan, that said, it hasn’t stopped people questioning his heritage or calling him Asian and making assumptions about him because of that. They usually shut the fuck up though when he babbles away in Spanish at them.

Don’t listen to the morons who perpetually tell you that this issue has been done to death on forums either, you’re entitled to post what you like. Those same people are always happy to comment positively on sexually related threads which have been done a billion times a day, everyday. Fuck em! Or not as the case may be.

I think it's brilliant to have a discussion which actually opens up and questions "why" a person views things the way they do.

From personal experience I've had quite a few people with the "no blacks/coloured people" line on their profile who have messaged me expressing an interest to meet. I always explain that I am not white and that leads to the me being an exception line of response or not being "too black" which I find interesting in itself.

I do find that I tend to be fetishisized rather than excluded. I'm exotic but not *too* exotic. Just the acceptable level of it.

The too black sort of comments are the weirdest! Do they get out the colour chart for this one? "

I’ve heard stuff from black guys themselves. ‘I’m not what most people would consider a ‘black guy’.....’ ‘He’s more of a ‘black guy’ than me..’

Prejudice is a fascinating thing..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HazleheadThis is a fabulously written post and raises questions in the right way. I live the ice cream analogy!

I have never had the opportunity to have intimate encounters with someone of different coloured skin to my own. I think this is mainly down to the lack of diversity where I live. Oh, and I'm fairly crap at meeting new peple!

It's never been anything other than what I find more desirable. I haven't tried all the ice creams, but will default to a Hazelnut or coffee rather than explore flavours I've not heard of.

All that said, as I've aged and expedience more of life and met a greater minder of cultures, i find a great number of darker skin types extremely attractive.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Straight has to equal sexist then by default

Gilf agest

And so on

Funny how calling someone bbc is racest yet no body says anything

About big white cocks or pawgs

Piont is look hard enough theres always something to complain about dunno where you get the energy

If I make one point it does not mean that I am denouncing any others. If I don't mention BWC in this conversation it is because I didn't think it was relevant not that I don't care about the plight of the well hung white man

All those labels have come about because as a sexualised ‘community’ certain characteristics and preferences for them have been fetishised. And the labels are used to categorise people. I don’t think those fetishes are necessarily any form of ’ism’ but they can be.

And thats why its not racist its just a preference

It’s not as black and white as that."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool


"Sorry.

Fab is a sex site. I do not have to display the tolerance towards all that I display in real life.

I decide who I want to fuck. I decide what they should look like. I decide what to write on my profile. I don’t give a damn what the rest think. You don’t like it then move on. Don’t try to guilt trip me, don’t try to get me to change or explain my choices. Don’t be condescending by suggesting you’re oh so better than me because you will consider fucking anyone. Bully for you and quite frankly? I don’t give a damn. END

Sex is still

Fab is a sex site. It's full of people. People who all deserve my respect because they are people. Same as they would get if I met them in any other walks of life. I don't try and justify any bad actions, I instead try to be objective and realise that they are things I can learn from and hopefully better myself.

If you don't want to put yourself out there as a warm loving person that is your choice as you stated. Maybe that's you doing you. Who am I to judge?

To quote Tim Michin "I have, in the past, made important decisions about people I work with – agents and producers – based largely on how they treat wait staff in restaurants. I don’t care if you’re the most powerful cat in the room, I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful. So there.""

You use the fab system to specific women 18-45..

Not everybodies preferences falls into what fab allows to be categorised. So they communicate it via their profiles. Some do it rudely or abruptly.. but the issue is the way it's communicated, not that it's communicated.

Profiles are full of height/weight/bodytype preferences and cock size preferences too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry.

Fab is a sex site. I do not have to display the tolerance towards all that I display in real life.

I decide who I want to fuck. I decide what they should look like. I decide what to write on my profile. I don’t give a damn what the rest think. You don’t like it then move on. Don’t try to guilt trip me, don’t try to get me to change or explain my choices. Don’t be condescending by suggesting you’re oh so better than me because you will consider fucking anyone. Bully for you and quite frankly? I don’t give a damn. END

Sex is still

Fab is a sex site. It's full of people. People who all deserve my respect because they are people. Same as they would get if I met them in any other walks of life. I don't try and justify any bad actions, I instead try to be objective and realise that they are things I can learn from and hopefully better myself.

If you don't want to put yourself out there as a warm loving person that is your choice as you stated. Maybe that's you doing you. Who am I to judge?

To quote Tim Michin "I have, in the past, made important decisions about people I work with – agents and producers – based largely on how they treat wait staff in restaurants. I don’t care if you’re the most powerful cat in the room, I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful. So there.""

Yawn.... Again. My body. My choices who I allow to play with it. Stop with the pc arguments. This is one aspect of life where I am not required to believe them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quick, let's get this thread over the line but ffs plz no part two.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry... Random typo above. The word Haxelhead appeared while trying to type Hazelnut... Huawei predictive text and sensitive screen are not my friends!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nicely, and eloquently put. It could be down to many things (not a Psychologist), like experience with different races of people, such as growing up in a particular community, school, work place, influences from family & friends etc. Personally, don’t think it’s down to a people simply not liking a colour of someone’s skin. After all, there’s plenty of fair skinned people who’ll spend a fortune on tanning themselves to go a few shades darker! We all have our preferences though, we’re also in that bracket, and for us the issues are somewhat deep rooted, but can assure you from our perspective, it’s not an inherent dislike of the colour of ones skin. Hubby is half English and half Spanish and the lucky sod gets to sport an all year round tan, that said, it hasn’t stopped people questioning his heritage or calling him Asian and making assumptions about him because of that. They usually shut the fuck up though when he babbles away in Spanish at them.

Don’t listen to the morons who perpetually tell you that this issue has been done to death on forums either, you’re entitled to post what you like. Those same people are always happy to comment positively on sexually related threads which have been done a billion times a day, everyday. Fuck em! Or not as the case may be.

I think it's brilliant to have a discussion which actually opens up and questions "why" a person views things the way they do.

From personal experience I've had quite a few people with the "no blacks/coloured people" line on their profile who have messaged me expressing an interest to meet. I always explain that I am not white and that leads to the me being an exception line of response or not being "too black" which I find interesting in itself.

I do find that I tend to be fetishisized rather than excluded. I'm exotic but not *too* exotic. Just the acceptable level of it. "

Yep, they’ll always change their preference to suit when they’ve been thrown a cool curve-ball. Hubby grew up in the 80s when racism, particularly unprovoked attacks, were more prevalent. He usually managed to avoid the trouble, not because he’s half Spanish (that didn’t matter) but because he was half-white! That was an acceptable reason for some, pmsl!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is a visual vs a psychological preference? I'm confused. I thought a visual could be explained psychologically....? Surely they are one in the same...?

They absolutely are, you are correct. Hence my confusion with the constant reference to “why are we looking for psychological triggers to preferences”. Because human psychology drives all behaviour, that’s why.

What a contradiction to your previous posts.

On a previous post I have suggested that the human mind and it’s complex psychology does not drive all behaviour? Are you sure about that? So I must have written something like “we are all controlled by a higher force... maybe robots.... or aliens... we do not make our own choices based on our minds”. I don’t recall that particular post.

You should re-read your arguments against my posts....."

I don’t need to re read them to recall what my issues are with your previous posts. Firstly, you insisted a number of times that I feel “guilted” into having sex. I do not. I clarified it a number of times, and you continued to insist that is how I feel. Secondly, you have insisted on blindly reading all kinds of negativity into a post that was worded with more grace and eloquence than 95% of the content of this site. The post invited intelligent discussion about the psychology of preferences - your responses have all read as a personal attack on the OP along with a number of assumptions about him “expecting” white women to sleep with him or accusing people who don’t want to as being “mentally retarded” or “traumatised”. None of which is present or even remotely implied in the OP’s original post.

Finally, just to clarify - all human behaviour (which includes choice about who we sleep with) IS determined by human psychology, and as such, you can’t really explore where a preference comes from without at least considering psychological reasons.

And - I stand by what I said - I have in no way contradicted that particular view on this post or elsewhere.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Singing MJ now, "don't matter....."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quick, let's get this thread over the line but ffs plz no part two..... "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quick, let's get this thread over the line but ffs plz no part two..... "
the carrot threads a more important issue

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's an egregious act to write something on a profile like no blacks or asians (or any other skin colour or race for that matter). If that's their preference then fine, buy why do they have to write it out? Are they worried they'll be inundated with hordes of people they'd never meet?

That's the point to me - it's insensitive at least, racist at worst, but you can't tell which.

I think there can be some physical racial characteristics that people can find more or less attractive without necessarily being racist, that comes down to physical preferences I think.

Indeed. The conscious decision to blatantly state the need to exclude is without a doubt racism on some of level, regardless of the reasons behind your choices.

The human mind is far too complex to boil it down to simple racism based on attraction. For some it will be, but not everyone and it is unfair to draw a line in the sand.

You can't simplify something as personal and intimate as attraction especially sexual attraction down to racism and hatred.

Very valid point here! You might just not like something and not be able to explain it. It doesn't always have to boil down to racism. My point is more that if it isn't about race than why say no blacks or whites? I am mixed race so probably have a very different experience to most with what I have been exposed to growing up.

We are very complex and not all things can be explained... To me that throws even more interest into the situation though. Why do we have this impulses, dislikes and likes that we can't explain? I like discussing things as you've probably guessed

I agree. People love to go for the most convenient and quick answer, which is usually hate. Sometimes they are correct it is racism.

When, as I say the human mind just does not work that way. There are lots of twists and turns, from experience to fear, to possibly instinctual.

For people to just take the stance of it being about racism and hatred is very stubborn and makes it even more about hate, when it should be about discussing and understanding.

110% - discussion and understanding is the key. The OP presented his post perfectly to invite just that. Others have read into his post in bizarre ways, imho"

Yeah I had to reread my initial post thinking it might read racist or like I'm try to shag everyone who has stated they're not interested. I guess people mostly define themselves as being in opposition to things so much that they find it hard to do it in any other way.

And yes the less we discuss these sort of things the less change will come about...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Quick, let's get this thread over the line but ffs plz no part two.....

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quick, let's get this thread over the line but ffs plz no part two..... the carrot threads a more important issue "

Do you prefer your carrots hairy or peeled...?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quick, let's get this thread over the line but ffs plz no part two..... the carrot threads a more important issue

Do you prefer your carrots hairy or peeled...?"

find an oap il have it blanched

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Quick, let's get this thread over the line but ffs plz no part two..... the carrot threads a more important issue

Do you prefer your carrots hairy or peeled...?"

Hmm I've been called carrot top cause of my hair

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sorry.

Fab is a sex site. I do not have to display the tolerance towards all that I display in real life.

I decide who I want to fuck. I decide what they should look like. I decide what to write on my profile. I don’t give a damn what the rest think. You don’t like it then move on. Don’t try to guilt trip me, don’t try to get me to change or explain my choices. Don’t be condescending by suggesting you’re oh so better than me because you will consider fucking anyone. Bully for you and quite frankly? I don’t give a damn. END

Sex is still

Fab is a sex site. It's full of people. People who all deserve my respect because they are people. Same as they would get if I met them in any other walks of life. I don't try and justify any bad actions, I instead try to be objective and realise that they are things I can learn from and hopefully better myself.

If you don't want to put yourself out there as a warm loving person that is your choice as you stated. Maybe that's you doing you. Who am I to judge?

To quote Tim Michin "I have, in the past, made important decisions about people I work with – agents and producers – based largely on how they treat wait staff in restaurants. I don’t care if you’re the most powerful cat in the room, I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful. So there."

Yawn.... Again. My body. My choices who I allow to play with it. Stop with the pc arguments. This is one aspect of life where I am not required to believe them."

I haven't said shag people you don't find attractive. More be a decent person whilst doing so. All aspects of life require this

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 
 

By *inx80Woman
over a year ago

London

I think it's quite understandable to see why blanket statements can bother some people.

If you were out and about and told to your face "no, not your type", it'd get your back up for sure.

Of course everyone has their own experiences and preferences, but there are ways to go about it rather than being offensive. It's easy forget that the person you're rejecting has also likely had bad experiences in their past down to racism. It's easy to become sensitive to a topic if it feels like you're constantly coming up against it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
back to top