FabSwingers.com forum: Guys dilemma

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A woman’s profile on here often consists of:

“ No one liners”

“ Please be creative”

“ No dick pics”

“ No copy and paste”

And 95% of the time either gets rejected or read and no reply and worst of all blocked

So when a guy does put the effort in and get rejected 90 plus percent of the time - You can’t blame a guy for copying and pasting his messages which I think is creative?? (Im not advocating this)

Lol you can’t win when there’s more guys to women on here ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well clearly some men do ‘win’ here as they are very successful when it comes to meeting people.

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman
over a year ago

sw London

I usually delete a message if it shows they haven’t read my profile or thinks what I have put on my profile doesyapply to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get why some people find it so hard, it really isn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Focus on the profiles that make no such requests

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m not talking of myself just and an FYI lol I use tinder and badoo less drama x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is as you have said to many men on this site and its free, so where most may be genuine there reputation will always be blurred by the few that are not genuine.

Couples and women get so many silly messages, I think unless there is a natural instant attraction they will just delete the messages.

The only way this situation will improve is for men to understand the reasons for this process and not take it badly and just try again or move on.

I'm not saying op has taken anything badly but other males have done when we have declined their services

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve been rejected plenty times lol but I don’t let it faze me - but I can understand from a guys POV...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A woman’s profile on here often consists of:

“ No one liners”

“ Please be creative”

“ No dick pics”

“ No copy and paste”

And 95% of the time either gets rejected or read and no reply and worst of all blocked

So when a guy does put the effort in and get rejected 90 plus percent of the time - You can’t blame a guy for copying and pasting his messages which I think is creative?? (Im not advocating this)

Lol you can’t win when there’s more guys to women on here ??"

Women read profiles too before replying ya know and if there isn't much there it puts them off.

The pasting milarky well you keep pasting thats your choice but if they avoid you for doing so well out of you and me to blame you will get the blame. Besides whats wrong with treating a womans as an individual? Bloody rude in my opinion not treating people as one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A woman’s profile on here often consists of:

“ No one liners”

“ Please be creative”

“ No dick pics”

“ No copy and paste”

And 95% of the time either gets rejected or read and no reply and worst of all blocked

So when a guy does put the effort in and get rejected 90 plus percent of the time - You can’t blame a guy for copying and pasting his messages which I think is creative?? (Im not advocating this)

Lol you can’t win when there’s more guys to women on here ??"

Nope. You cant win them all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just do copy and paste but one that looks original. Add a sentence at the start that refers to their profile. Don't start it with "hey guys" but send to a single person.

I can't see any point in wasting time on lengthy first messages as most get deleted anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And most of the people whining about crap messages never go looking and send messages themselves. So who cares what they think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think anyone is expecting sonnets, but I always think that if you can't think of at least something personalised to say, why are you bothering contacting them? Just smacks of any hole's a goal.

I send first messages and it's easy as there's obviously something in the pics/profile/status that's caught my eye so I just mention that.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Basically. But the choice is put lots of effort in often in vain or just don't play the game a leave fab.

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

I think the problem is that most profiles have nothing to focus on. A profile should tell you something about the maker(s), not just be a focus on their sexual requirements/preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just do copy and paste but one that looks original. Add a sentence at the start that refers to their profile. Don't start it with "hey guys" but send to a single person.

I can't see any point in wasting time on lengthy first messages as most get deleted anyway.

Funny Mavis your the only female I’ve heard who do this ! Usually only men

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

If the reader doesn't find you attractive no words you'd type would alter that.

I find few profiles that are looking for similar to myself, those I think do I send a brief introductory message,

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

I recommend that you ask your women fab playmates or women you meet at socials to look at the messages they receive. If your messages look like 95% of the messages they receive then you will not get a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not our fault that there's much more men on fab than women.

And I can't help that I don't like or fancy every man that messages me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A woman’s profile on here often consists of:

“ No one liners”

“ Please be creative”

“ No dick pics”

“ No copy and paste”

And 95% of the time either gets rejected or read and no reply and worst of all blocked

So when a guy does put the effort in and get rejected 90 plus percent of the time - You can’t blame a guy for copying and pasting his messages which I think is creative?? (Im not advocating this)

Lol you can’t win when there’s more guys to women on here ??"

Yes, some people are too busy, too overwhelmed or just plain too rude to reply to even our most beautifully crafted prose. I'm old, white and short so I don't bother with the people who specify playmates who are tall, black or younger than me. I know they are missing out but they have chosen to restrict who plays in their garden. They have every right to do so. Concentrate on those who are looking for people whose specifications come close to what you are. If you've got dick pics, don't send messages to those who don't want them. Many will still take one look and bin it.

I don't know what a good hit rate of messages responded to is. 1/5? 1/10? 1/20? It's a buyers market and the customer is always right.

I get a lot of thoughtless messages (mainly from men). I used to reply but I haven't the time and have started binning them. I will reply to anyone who has put in a bit of effort because I think its good manners. If you get many decent messages every day, your threshold for the delete button may be lower. That's life, take it on the chin and move on.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I recommend that you ask your women fab playmates or women you meet at socials to look at the messages they receive. If your messages look like 95% of the messages they receive then you will not get a reply. "

I had a lady come and stay with me for 4 nights a couple of years ago, some of the messages that she received (about 200) were unbelievable, I think a teenager could have been more imaginative

Ps Mavis, do you fancy a fuck?

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Who's turn is it for popcorn?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Focus on the profiles that make no such requests

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get plenty of replies even though at my age I'm fishing in a smaller pool!..you just have to know how to use your rod as to not frighten the fish away!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Getting no reply is better than 'you are kidding aren't you fatty'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Getting no reply is better than 'you are kidding aren't you fatty'

Please tell me this is a joke and that no one is that unnecessarily rude?!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Getting no reply is better than 'you are kidding aren't you fatty'

Please tell me this is a joke and that no one is that unnecessarily rude?!

Yes. I'm just emphasising a point.

But I've had insults on here. As if I don't know I'm fat. Ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But copying and pasting isnt creative.

Creativity comes from a spark that the person your mailing has flset off in you.

A great photo, a funny status update or an insightful forum post.

A copy and paste is just a pr release

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Getting no reply is better than 'you are kidding aren't you fatty'

Please tell me this is a joke and that no one is that unnecessarily rude?!

Yes. I'm just emphasising a point.

But I've had insults on here. As if I don't know I'm fat. Ffs"

Some people are arseholes. Can you imagine if everyone spoke to each other in real life as some people do on Fab? All social etiquette gone - just demands and abuse. How lovely!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get 1 meet a week, it's easy, just like my women

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"A woman’s profile on here often consists of:

“ No one liners”

“ Please be creative”

“ No dick pics”

“ No copy and paste”

And 95% of the time either gets rejected or read and no reply and worst of all blocked

So when a guy does put the effort in and get rejected 90 plus percent of the time - You can’t blame a guy for copying and pasting his messages which I think is creative?? (Im not advocating this)

Lol you can’t win when there’s more guys to women on here ??"

Because quite often they just send a generic message to women without taking into the preferences of the woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A woman’s profile on here often consists of:

“ No one liners”

“ Please be creative”

“ No dick pics”

“ No copy and paste”

And 95% of the time either gets rejected or read and no reply and worst of all blocked

So when a guy does put the effort in and get rejected 90 plus percent of the time - You can’t blame a guy for copying and pasting his messages which I think is creative?? (Im not advocating this)

Lol you can’t win when there’s more guys to women on here ??"
you gotta be in it to win it, your profile pics messages and username have to be the best they can be if they are and your personality comes through then you will eventually get success

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Do what ever works best for you. Fuck what anyone else says they like as you aren't on here for their benefit. Stick to doing what gets results for you and if what you're doing isn't working then try something else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But copying and pasting isnt creative.

Creativity comes from a spark that the person your mailing has flset off in you.

A great photo, a funny status update or an insightful forum post.

A copy and paste is just a pr release"

This

other wise you may as well stand in the street, handing out flyers, with fancy a fuck?, on them. See how well these unfortunate copy and paste pests fair then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My message response says vary depending on having read the message and viewed a profile

If it’s obvious the man has not read my profile as to what I’m looking for I will block him immediately e.g. not single or from miles away

If the message is OK but I’m not interested at all I will say so and block the person

If I am potentially interested but the message is crap e.g. I’m Gary from Newcastle ... I think so f*ck and ignore it. That’s not conversation it’s a boring statement

Anything short enough to be read in the message preview is deleted unread e.g. hi (boring zzzz), fancy a shag (too crude), looking for a filthy whore (such charm!!),

The rest I reply to and that keeps me entertained and occupied

Unfortunately too many men on here don’t understand conversation and send ‘closed’ comments etc. I’ll give a few attempts to continue if we have been chatting for a while but if they don’t put genuine effort into progressing a conversation they can sod off, plenty other blokes will happily engage in conversation

Most men that fail do so because they do not genuinely want to communicate with someone and think this site is as simple as sending a message asking for sex and rolling up at someone’s house a half hour later for a free shag

That may work with some women but not me!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Getting no reply is better than 'you are kidding aren't you fatty'

Please tell me this is a joke and that no one is that unnecessarily rude?!

Yes. I'm just emphasising a point.

But I've had insults on here. As if I don't know I'm fat. Ffs

Some people are arseholes. Can you imagine if everyone spoke to each other in real life as some people do on Fab? All social etiquette gone - just demands and abuse. How lovely!

Being the size I am - I dont get many people talk to me like that face to face, even though I'm not violent. And I'm a doorman for my local.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a numbers game, whether you like it or not. The more messages you send the more likely you'll get a response. Many have no idea what it's like to be a man on here.

If your message had a 90% chance of being ignored or deleted *regardless* of its content, would you really create a custom message for every single woman you contact?

Besides, if someone's profile is just a list of rules and wants, what do I have to work with? What can I refer to in my opening message?

I rarely send messages so I haven't got this problem, but I know why men copy and paste their messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Getting no reply is better than 'you are kidding aren't you fatty'

Please tell me this is a joke and that no one is that unnecessarily rude?!

Yes. I'm just emphasising a point.

But I've had insults on here. As if I don't know I'm fat. Ffs

Some people are arseholes. Can you imagine if everyone spoke to each other in real life as some people do on Fab? All social etiquette gone - just demands and abuse. How lovely!

Being the size I am - I dont get many people talk to me like that face to face, even though I'm not violent. And I'm a doorman for my local."

I think a lot of nasty things that are said on here would never be said face to face. Sad but true!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must admit if I dont fancy the sender I just delete. There's too many to reply to them all. I have replied and chatted to those that made me laugh or clearly read my profile and sent a message based on what they read. Or if their profile has something matching one of my interests. I've even messaged someone purely because their status.

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By *TheMaintenanceManMan
over a year ago

Saint Elsewhere

"A woman’s profile on here often consists of:

“ No one liners”

“ Please be creative”

“ No dick pics”

“ No copy and paste”

And 95% of the time either gets rejected or read and no reply and worst of all blocked

So when a guy does put the effort in and get rejected 90 plus percent of the time - You can’t blame a guy for copying and pasting his messages which I think is creative?? (Im not advocating this)

Lol you can’t win when there’s more guys to women on here ??"

Oh most definitely. I've wanted to post this same topic but I just saw no point in it lol..

I dont copy and paste but I do just genuinely say "hello, good day " etc.. let the lady know I'm interested (mostly to the ones who like Men of color) and my message gets deleted. EVEN when I attatch a photo.

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By *aenMan
over a year ago

Here and There

I always try to link my message to something on their profile or status with an open comment rather than closed.

I’ve also noticed a few will delete but then respond to another message a day or so later. Often wonder if it’s to see how I react to the message being deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they have not read our profile (which is obvious when they haven't) we will delete their message. We get alot of "wanna fuck now" messages as alot of people do. A well written message will always get a reply even if it's a no thankyou. Unfortunately it is true that nice well written messages do get lost amongst the (excuse the swearing) bullshit messages. We as a couple are looking for single men but the criteria is all written in our profile. X

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

Just a quick look through the women (with visible profiles) who have responded.

Only one in this thread so far mentions anything about themselves which is not related to their experience on fab, or their preferences regarding those they want (or not) to meet.

Essentially, and sorry girls, if these profiles are a representation of those on the site in general, a personalised message will be along the lines of ‘I’ve read your profile and I meet your requirements’. Bar commenting on the background of a specific photo, there is very little that says anything about you personally that a message can be targeted to.

In those circumstances, a gentle introductory message albeit very similar to those sent to others seems the only option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A woman’s profile on here often consists of:

“ No one liners”

“ Please be creative”

“ No dick pics”

“ No copy and paste”

And 95% of the time either gets rejected or read and no reply and worst of all blocked

So when a guy does put the effort in and get rejected 90 plus percent of the time - You can’t blame a guy for copying and pasting his messages which I think is creative?? (Im not advocating this)

Lol you can’t win when there’s more guys to women on here ??

Oh most definitely. I've wanted to post this same topic but I just saw no point in it lol..

But how many "hello, good day" messages do you think we get a day??

Even if I'm not interested in the photo, but there's a witty conversation opener, I'm more inclined to answer and make small talk for the simple enjoyment of conversing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just do copy and paste but one that looks original. Add a sentence at the start that refers to their profile. Don't start it with "hey guys" but send to a single person.

I can't see any point in wasting time on lengthy first messages as most get deleted anyway.

Funny Mavis your the only female I’ve heard who do this ! Usually only men "

Are you inferring I'm a man?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely ever send a first message. Probably 2 this time round and both were not to a person I was interested in but rather lending moral support in a forum comment. I've tried with a few others but blocked as a single guy so they didn't get the encouragement at the time.

I find if a lady I'd genuinely interested she will message. If not she's not interested enough anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a quick look through the women (with visible profiles) who have responded.

Only one in this thread so far mentions anything about themselves which is not related to their experience on fab, or their preferences regarding those they want (or not) to meet.

In those circumstances, a gentle introductory message albeit very similar to those sent to others seems the only option. "

Perhaps some women should ask for profile advice. For the type of profiles that are more likely to get them respectful messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It just seems like some operate on the basis that its obligatory to message everyone with female on their profile. If there's nothing to work with, why contact that person in the first place? If it's just that you like their pictures, there you go, that's something to say in itself.

My profile is deliberately discouraging of messages but I still get a ton of good ones worth replying to, so it is very doable if you are contacting people you're actually interested in and use a bit of personality.

I'm sounding dead ranty

but this topic does just baffle me a bit. I wish I could do a flow chart along the lines of 'Do you have anything to say to this person?' - Yes = proceed to message, No = move on to next profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It just seems like some operate on the basis that its obligatory to message everyone with female on their profile. If there's nothing to work with, why contact that person in the first place? If it's just that you like their pictures, there you go, that's something to say in itself.

I'm sounding dead ranty

but this topic does just baffle me a bit. I wish I could do a flow chart along the lines of 'Do you have anything to say to this person?' - Yes = proceed to message, No = move on to next profile"

Hell yeah I love that flow chart!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea normally when i want fanny i get fanny

but they cannot have my penis its reserved

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Put it this way, you can put some effort in and have a 95% chance of rejection, or put no effort in and have a 100% chance of rejection. Your choice. But remember, the more crappy messages go out, the more senders reinforce the impression that many messages are not even worth opening.

As for us, a polite introductory message to us showing they have read our profile will always get a polite reply. This would only change if we were inundated with messages, which currently we aren't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a quick look through the women (with visible profiles) who have responded.

Only one in this thread so far mentions anything about themselves which is not related to their experience on fab, or their preferences regarding those they want (or not) to meet.

In those circumstances, a gentle introductory message albeit very similar to those sent to others seems the only option. "

Perception differs greatly. Someone may see an apple and another will say it's a pear. Some may take a closer look, not everyone who writes a profile, is doing so to entice mail. I wrote mine as I don't like to have a blank profile, saves me being a hypocrite, for ones that remain blank. I don't spend more than a nanosecond thinking why they do so.

If like the OP wrote, If it's an effort to send a mail, I'd recommend stopping before starting. Saves everyone having to figure out, that it was such and effort to type a few lines.

They'll always be a right way, to do it wrong and a wrong way to do it right, to everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A woman’s profile on here often consists of:

“ No one liners”

“ Please be creative”

“ No dick pics”

“ No copy and paste”

And 95% of the time either gets rejected or read and no reply and worst of all blocked

So when a guy does put the effort in and get rejected 90 plus percent of the time - You can’t blame a guy for copying and pasting his messages which I think is creative?? (Im not advocating this)

Lol you can’t win when there’s more guys to women on here ??"

Exactly why I deleted my male profile. Got tired of putting in the time, when there wasn't enough response to justify it. Especially as tinder is so much more easier to meet people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A woman’s profile on here often consists of:

“ No one liners”

“ Please be creative”

“ No dick pics”

“ No copy and paste”

And 95% of the time either gets rejected or read and no reply and worst of all blocked

So when a guy does put the effort in and get rejected 90 plus percent of the time - You can’t blame a guy for copying and pasting his messages which I think is creative?? (Im not advocating this)

Lol you can’t win when there’s more guys to women on here ??"
Some women are here for the attention some are here to just pass time, some are looking to go at it like we have 24 hours to live. It’s all about being patient and finding the right ones you match with and play nicely.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A woman’s profile on here often consists of:

“ No one liners”

“ Please be creative”

“ No dick pics”

“ No copy and paste”

And 95% of the time either gets rejected or read and no reply and worst of all blocked

So when a guy does put the effort in and get rejected 90 plus percent of the time - You can’t blame a guy for copying and pasting his messages which I think is creative?? (Im not advocating this)

Lol you can’t win when there’s more guys to women on here ??

Oh most definitely. I've wanted to post this same topic but I just saw no point in it lol..

I know the pain...

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