FabSwingers.com forum: Aggressive Text

By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

Just a cold Sunday pondering:

Looking and reading (yes..a single guy who actually reads profiles - "apparently" there aren't many of us!) I've noticed that there seems to be a bit of an influx/trend/whatever for people to be extremely demanding and quite aggressive in their profile content.

"must be (insert words here* or "NO (insert words here) otherwise you will be blocked" etc. It's occasionally followed by something along the lines of "I'm sorry if this makes me come across like a bitch"

I wonder if others have seen this, and if it puts people off messaging them. I have to admit, even if I were their type, I'd be hugely put off by it!

Just a little light thread for a bloody cold Sunday morn.! x

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Those profiles can be rather off-putting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being able to see what utter crap women get messaged (through K), I'm not surprised that some of them take this stance

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I hope mine doesn't seem aggressive. I keep meaning to update it but I've been lazy.

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"Being able to see what utter crap women get messaged (through K), I'm not surprised that some of them take this stance

Oh, I'm not saying it's not appropriate in certain situations, but out of context (it happens a lot on "new" profiles, too) it's not really a good first impression, I feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hope mine doesn't seem aggressive. I keep meaning to update it but I've been lazy."

You come across as a total bitch

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think you have to ponder on why people feel it's necessary.

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"I hope mine doesn't seem aggressive. I keep meaning to update it but I've been lazy."

Not at all. There's a HUGE difference in being aggressive and simply stating what you do and don't like!

Also.yeah..I feel your pain, mine's in desperate need of a revamp!

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"I hope mine doesn't seem aggressive. I keep meaning to update it but I've been lazy.

You come across as a total bitch

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I've been told mine is ranty and demanding. It's not meant to be. I've tried to trim it down but then during conversations when I say something I get told "you should have it in your profile". Can't please everybody x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Being able to see what utter crap women get messaged (through K), I'm not surprised that some of them take this stance

Oh, I'm not saying it's not appropriate in certain situations, but out of context (it happens a lot on "new" profiles, too) it's not really a good first impression, I feel. "

Perhaps they are not new to this site but left after experiencing all those things.

Also....perhaps it's only harsh if you are one of the things they dont want.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I hope mine doesn't seem aggressive. I keep meaning to update it but I've been lazy.

You come across as a total bitch

Ima kill you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn’t bother me, folk can run their profile how they see fit. Mines aggressive at the moment

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By *nceinawhileCouple
over a year ago

Ipswich

We do request not being sent cock pictures as I'm not a fan of them I actually find it a turn off so are we included in this as say we will delete message if cock picture is attached

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"Being able to see what utter crap women get messaged (through K), I'm not surprised that some of them take this stance

Oh, I'm not saying it's not appropriate in certain situations, but out of context (it happens a lot on "new" profiles, too) it's not really a good first impression, I feel.

Perhaps they are not new to this site but left after experiencing all those things.

Also....perhaps it's only harsh if you are one of the things they dont want. "

See, I don't agree with that at all. I'm not talking about the content..I'm talking about the tone. Massive difference. It's equally concerning (for lack of a better word" when people get offended just because they're not to a potential suitor's tastes.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Being able to see what utter crap women get messaged (through K), I'm not surprised that some of them take this stance

Oh, I'm not saying it's not appropriate in certain situations, but out of context (it happens a lot on "new" profiles, too) it's not really a good first impression, I feel.

Perhaps they are not new to this site but left after experiencing all those things.

Also....perhaps it's only harsh if you are one of the things they dont want.

See....I find your not agreeing with me quite aggressive (not really.....just for illustrative purposes)

Get my point?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hope mine doesn't seem aggressive. I keep meaning to update it but I've been lazy.

You come across as a total bitch

Ima kill you"

Bring it

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"Being able to see what utter crap women get messaged (through K), I'm not surprised that some of them take this stance

Oh, I'm not saying it's not appropriate in certain situations, but out of context (it happens a lot on "new" profiles, too) it's not really a good first impression, I feel.

Perhaps they are not new to this site but left after experiencing all those things.

Also....perhaps it's only harsh if you are one of the things they dont want.

See....I find your not agreeing with me quite aggressive (not really.....just for illustrative purposes)

Get my point?"

HA! Kind of..but I do think people get waaaaay too easily offended by crap these days. It seems to be becoming a common trend!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its mad when theres so much written in the profile, wheres the fun in chatting and revealing your desires that way. I find a profile with a lot of demanding statements seems more like and advertisement for a job. Must have this, must have that.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I don't think mine comes across as aggressive, though I do say one the phrases you mentioned (kinda)

I'm going to delete it all soon anyway, need a change.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It doesn't really put me off. I know how frustrating it can be (through friends) on here and maybe for that person it helps lessen their frustrations. Yes, I prefer profiles where you can read positivity and it's lots of things designed to make you *want* to meet them rather than deter you but I do get it.

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"I don't think mine comes across as aggressive, though I do say one the phrases you mentioned (kinda)

I'm going to delete it all soon anyway, need a change. "

No, it doesn't. It's all about the context and other profile text. I'm talking more about the shorter, less comprehensive profiles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it would put me off, I'd assume they were an angry person. However I understand what has made them angry.

I think that shouty profiles will put off the good people and attract the types that love to wind them up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!"

My species never fails to amaze me haha

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!"

What!?!? That's another whole thread! "What on EARTH goes through some people's minds when writing initial messages!?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a cold Sunday pondering:

I wonder if others have seen this, and if it puts people off messaging them. I have to admit, even if I were their type, I'd be hugely put off by it!

Just a little light thread for a bloody cold Sunday morn.! x"

Yes, those profiles put me off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!

What!?!? That's another whole thread! "What on EARTH goes through some people's minds when writing initial messages!?""

I'm shocked that you're shocked.

That's the reality for people on sites such as this. It's not Fab's fault. It's certain types of people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My profile is proper CBA..

Weeds out a few... Lol..

But tbh.. I ain't fussed either way.. Write what I want.. Don't like it.. Move on...

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!

What!?!? That's another whole thread! "What on EARTH goes through some people's minds when writing initial messages!?"

I'm shocked that you're shocked.

That's the reality for people on sites such as this. It's not Fab's fault. It's certain types of people."

Initial messages like that when the author of them thinks that it'll get any kind of positive response will never fail to surprise me! I can't even understand why they reckon it'll get them anywhere!

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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

They are specifically done to put off the chancers and lazy people off. Is it rude to expect people to read your profile the reality is some people don't want 50 messages a day so they do what they can to reduce numbers.

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"My profile is proper CBA..

Weeds out a few... Lol..

But tbh.. I ain't fussed either way.. Write what I want.. Don't like it.. Move on... "

You look as chilly as I am at the moment in your pic, lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!

What!?!? That's another whole thread! "What on EARTH goes through some people's minds when writing initial messages!?"

I'm shocked that you're shocked.

That's the reality for people on sites such as this. It's not Fab's fault. It's certain types of people.

Initial messages like that when the author of them thinks that it'll get any kind of positive response will never fail to surprise me! I can't even understand why they reckon it'll get them anywhere! "

They like those things. Someone who doesn't like them won't reply so no time wasted.

If they do like it they will reply.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!"

Another day in the life of fab eh! The people who send messages like that rarely read profiles though so I don't think it helps. Though I do find that having some things on my profile that I'm not looking for/ that I am not is a good filter as it's often very obvious when they haven't read my profile at all.

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By *onkyLemonsCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Just a cold Sunday pondering:

I wonder if others have seen this, and if it puts people off messaging them. I have to admit, even if I were their type, I'd be hugely put off by it!

Just a little light thread for a bloody cold Sunday morn.! x"

I think it’s a case of those profiles being influenced by the community.

Everyone has that breaking point and there are only so many times you’ll kindly ask someone to leave you alone before telling them fuck off in no uncertain terms.

We tried to be a bit more neutral with our profile and be a bit more fun and friendly with it. We have our own preferences obviously, but we’d rather invite the conversation and then say “no thanks” than turn everyone away with a really restrictive list of things we want!

Obviously we haven’t been here as long as some others - so maybe in time we’ll get ground down too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people just get fed up of the crappy no effort messages and are overwhelmed with them, so attempt to reduce them by putting clear instructions on what they don’t want. Unfortunately this can come across as ranty.

To anyone reading this who hasn’t tried it, block single men and go search out what you want. Unless you are really just in it for attention and as many messages and fabs as possible, it will improve your fab experience dramatically.

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!

What!?!? That's another whole thread! "What on EARTH goes through some people's minds when writing initial messages!?"

I'm shocked that you're shocked.

That's the reality for people on sites such as this. It's not Fab's fault. It's certain types of people.

Initial messages like that when the author of them thinks that it'll get any kind of positive response will never fail to surprise me! I can't even understand why they reckon it'll get them anywhere!

They like those things. Someone who doesn't like them won't reply so no time wasted.

If they do like it they will reply.

But for an initial message?? I guess my philosophy of speaking to people on here as if I would speak to them in real life isn't for everyone, lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think people just get fed up of the crappy no effort messages and are overwhelmed with them, so attempt to reduce them by putting clear instructions on what they don’t want. Unfortunately this can come across as ranty.

Or just delete men off your 'Looking for' list. It takes your profile off their searches and reduces mail.

Some men are decent. The 'bad' messages just make it easier to spot the nice/ compatible ones.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

I have a similar view. In that I can understand why the attitude comes across, frustration from all the pricks out there, but it doesn't really solve anything. Why make yourself come across as a ranty, aggressive, almost unapproachable person (unless that's the real you anyway) when, let's be honest, the people it is aimed at are just going to ignore it anyway while you possibly turn off those that may otherwise be exactly what you would be looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!

What!?!? That's another whole thread! "What on EARTH goes through some people's minds when writing initial messages!?"

I'm shocked that you're shocked.

That's the reality for people on sites such as this. It's not Fab's fault. It's certain types of people.

Initial messages like that when the author of them thinks that it'll get any kind of positive response will never fail to surprise me! I can't even understand why they reckon it'll get them anywhere!

They like those things. Someone who doesn't like them won't reply so no time wasted.

If they do like it they will reply.

But for an initial message?? I guess my philosophy of speaking to people on here as if I would speak to them in real life isn't for everyone, lol! "

They've been scrolling through profiles and seen graphic hardcore sex pics. Gaping holes dripping with cum. Verifications describing sex acts 'recommending' that person as someone worth fucking. Their head (and hand!) is full of sex.

If someone mails me a sexually explicit message, why would I be suprised?

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

This!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!

Listing what you like/don't like is fine though really. It's none aggressive and even if I don't plan on messaging the person after all it's quite fun to read and see what they are and aren't in to. A bit like people watching!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!

What!?!? That's another whole thread! "What on EARTH goes through some people's minds when writing initial messages!?"

I'm shocked that you're shocked.

That's the reality for people on sites such as this. It's not Fab's fault. It's certain types of people.

Initial messages like that when the author of them thinks that it'll get any kind of positive response will never fail to surprise me! I can't even understand why they reckon it'll get them anywhere!

They like those things. Someone who doesn't like them won't reply so no time wasted.

If they do like it they will reply.

But for an initial message?? I guess my philosophy of speaking to people on here as if I would speak to them in real life isn't for everyone, lol! "

Unfortunately you are definitely in the minority with that attitude. The rest speak to us like we are barely able to read or are sex starved nymphos who only exist to ride their ‘9/8/7 inches of man meat’.

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"This morning I have had a number of messages. One was from a guy asking if I would shit in his mouth. And the other was a guy begging me to have a baby with him.

So although I wouldn’t be that demanding in my profile description personally, I understand why some women are!

What!?!? That's another whole thread! "What on EARTH goes through some people's minds when writing initial messages!?"

I'm shocked that you're shocked.

That's the reality for people on sites such as this. It's not Fab's fault. It's certain types of people.

Initial messages like that when the author of them thinks that it'll get any kind of positive response will never fail to surprise me! I can't even understand why they reckon it'll get them anywhere!

They like those things. Someone who doesn't like them won't reply so no time wasted.

If they do like it they will reply.

But for an initial message?? I guess my philosophy of speaking to people on here as if I would speak to them in real life isn't for everyone, lol!

Nice arse, by the way...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol. Have you tried a pic with ham? That square ham that’s a bit like wet tissue paper.

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By *rShinyKnickers OP Man
over a year ago

BARRY

"Lol. Have you tried a pic with ham? That square ham that’s a bit like wet tissue paper."

I need a massive bit of ham!

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

In personal experience, I’ve found since I got rid of my dos and don’ts the messages that completely ignored them, have significantly reduced

The messages tend to be more focused on what has been said, but you’ll always get those that don’t read at all and zap through the crude and the lazy message

Everyone runs their profile differently and I can se why so many run it with a ‘I don’t do’ list or preferences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must admit to starting mine off with *PLEASE READ BEFORE MESSAGING AS IT SAVES YOUR TIME AND MY TIME ... IF YOU HAVEN'T I WILL DELETE YOUR MESSAGE*

Because, let's face it, not all do!

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

We try not to make ours too ranty. I've seen some locally that are just lists of demands. In capitals. Puts us right off.

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By *rettyLittleThingWoman
over a year ago

Swansea

If it puts you off then it puts you off. You've obviously not been on the receiving end of the annoying DM on here.

I put alot of stuff on mine that people down right ignore but if it stops that one person wasting my time and theirs then I guess it is a plus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only text ppl who have friends who work at Macdonald's nowadays

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

If mine puts off a certain group of people it's doing what it's meant to

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

I just read em and if I find funny, I smile and if I find aggressive I say fuck it ! And if I find I’m not what they are looking for, then respect.. simples

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It all depends. People like honesty and also prefer not to invest time into investing effort by massaging, if it's not going to be fruitful.

If someone has red lines, it's reasonable to define them for everyone's benefit.

Context is all though. How someone expresses their preferences will influence others' reactions. Often people don't like to grasp that they aren't of interest to those that they really want to be.

Most people here for a while appreciate what they can do to improve the success of their communication - we don't always do it though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is spot on.

I don’t rant on my profile often as it falls on deaf ears anyway. How someone runs their profile is of no concern to me, only my response matters. Profiles are for attracting and also the opposite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s only usually off putting to men who don’t fit the criteria of what the persons profile is looking for

Theres too many men on here who aggressively message as many profiles as they can which is pointless if they aren’t what someone is looking for

If men fit what I am looking for then I’ll reply regardless of whether they have a photo or not - so long as the conversation is interesting

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