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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?" This is kind of a question I've had bubbling under for a while. Swinging doesn't seem consistent with that, totally normal, level of jealousy/unease at a partner's behaviour. Where does the line get drawn? | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?" Id find it more weird if they didn't. I guess it would depend on what exactly was being said but id have no issues with him looking | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?" It wouldn't bother me, it's only natural to look... As my line says Just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't read the menu | |||
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"Context is needed. As with everything. Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. " In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it | |||
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"No, I wouldn't appreciate if it was all the time and I felt like they had a roving eye. Every so often it's human nature that you spot someone attractive but it's how you point this out that is the important thing. I still remember sitting down for a nice lunch and the person I was with telling me it was a good restaurant choice as all the waitresses were hot. Put me right off my food! " I agree, that’s terrible Which restaurant? | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?" Nope, I would not accept that in a relationship, it means he is not truly committed, and it is disrespectful even in a casual association. | |||
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"Context is needed. As with everything. Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it " Again context is needed. Everything needs context. Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility. | |||
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"Context is needed. As with everything. Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. " Agreed. If it’s on here and he’s trying to find someone for you both to play with then looking at women and paying them compliments is all part of the game. If it’s part of your everyday life and he’s paying random women compliments or paying them more attention that you etc. then that’s not on. Maybe he’s getting the lines of swinging and real life a bit skewed and you need to have a chat about what’s acceptable. Lou x | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?" some are just serial flirts i think I've always been guilty of that but never in a dispespectful way | |||
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"Context is needed. As with everything. Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. Agreed. If it’s on here and he’s trying to find someone for you both to play with then looking at women and paying them compliments is all part of the game. If it’s part of your everyday life and he’s paying random women compliments or paying them more attention that you etc. then that’s not on. Maybe he’s getting the lines of swinging and real life a bit skewed and you need to have a chat about what’s acceptable. Lou x " Thank you, yes. Nothing can ever truely be as simple as black and white and applied to every single situation of similar criteria. | |||
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"Context is needed. As with everything. Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it Again context is needed. Everything needs context. Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility. " Yeah context is needed that's why its being discussed on a forum | |||
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"Context is needed. As with everything. Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it Again context is needed. Everything needs context. Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility. Yeah context is needed that's why its being discussed on a forum" But you said it's disrespectful, which depending on the dynamic and context of the entire situation it is. In a different form of context it is not disrespectful at all. The OP didn't provide enough context to come to a solid conclusion, therefore the replies will be based on the individuals choice within the vaccum of critera they decide on in their own mind. | |||
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"Context is needed. As with everything. Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it Again context is needed. Everything needs context. Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility. Yeah context is needed that's why its being discussed on a forum But you said it's disrespectful, which depending on the dynamic and context of the entire situation it is. In a different form of context it is not disrespectful at all. The OP didn't provide enough context to come to a solid conclusion, therefore the replies will be based on the individuals choice within the vaccum of critera they decide on in their own mind. " What ' different form of context?' | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?" My wife often looks at other women and comments on how sexy they look too. I don't mind though. Cal | |||
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"Context is needed. As with everything. Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it Again context is needed. Everything needs context. Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility. Yeah context is needed that's why its being discussed on a forum But you said it's disrespectful, which depending on the dynamic and context of the entire situation it is. In a different form of context it is not disrespectful at all. The OP didn't provide enough context to come to a solid conclusion, therefore the replies will be based on the individuals choice within the vaccum of critera they decide on in their own mind. " In a committed relationship its disrespectful. | |||
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"No, I wouldn't appreciate if it was all the time and I felt like they had a roving eye. Every so often it's human nature that you spot someone attractive but it's how you point this out that is the important thing. I still remember sitting down for a nice lunch and the person I was with telling me it was a good restaurant choice as all the waitresses were hot. Put me right off my food! " How long ago was this? | |||
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"Context is needed. As with everything. Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it Again context is needed. Everything needs context. Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility. Yeah context is needed that's why its being discussed on a forum But you said it's disrespectful, which depending on the dynamic and context of the entire situation it is. In a different form of context it is not disrespectful at all. The OP didn't provide enough context to come to a solid conclusion, therefore the replies will be based on the individuals choice within the vaccum of critera they decide on in their own mind. What ' different form of context?'" Not limited to but including the first things I said at the top of this quote. I'm in no way saying it can't be and never is disrespectful. Just that different situations will blur the lines based on what else is going on. | |||
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"No, I wouldn't appreciate if it was all the time and I felt like they had a roving eye. Every so often it's human nature that you spot someone attractive but it's how you point this out that is the important thing. I still remember sitting down for a nice lunch and the person I was with telling me it was a good restaurant choice as all the waitresses were hot. Put me right off my food! How long ago was this? " Not that long ago! | |||
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"No, I wouldn't appreciate if it was all the time and I felt like they had a roving eye. Every so often it's human nature that you spot someone attractive but it's how you point this out that is the important thing. I still remember sitting down for a nice lunch and the person I was with telling me it was a good restaurant choice as all the waitresses were hot. Put me right off my food! How long ago was this? Not that long ago! " I'm absolutely gobsmacked | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?" Turn the table on him and you do the same about other men...probably wouldn't be long before he gets uncomfortable with it... | |||
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"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. " That's just rude and snacks to me of Incel tactics | |||
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"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. " yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you | |||
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"I'm ok with Mr N noticing other women and remarking on them. He doesn't do it constantly though, if he did I'd think we had a problem. He's ok with me remarking on other men too. We don't own each others eyes and brains" Agree, ( wouldn’t be cricket to look at the opposite sex or pay a compliment to anyone on a swinging site ) | |||
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"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you " So is it ok on a second meet? Third, fifth, twentieth? | |||
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"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you " It wasn’t our first meet | |||
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"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you It wasn’t our first meet " really ok even worse then, he maybe did it on previous meets to | |||
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"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you It wasn’t our first meet really ok even worse then, he maybe did it on previous meets to " If he had we wouldn’t have got to another meet up ..... it might be casual but I’m no one’s ‘any hole is a hole’ | |||
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"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you It wasn’t our first meet really ok even worse then, he maybe did it on previous meets to If he had we wouldn’t have got to another meet up ..... it might be casual but I’m no one’s ‘any hole is a hole’ " well he should have been focused on you his loss | |||
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"All men check out other women, if they say they don't they're lying. Difference is being subtle and discreet about it rather than making it obvious. " So, being subtle is ok, as long as its not vocalized? | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?" As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone? Asking for a friend (and myself). | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone? Asking for a friend (and myself)." My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone? Asking for a friend (and myself)." As HMQL said it all depends on your relationship and the boundaries you both have. I wouldn't be OK with it, but my partner would be more than happy for me to have drinks and fun with a guy who came on to me. I think a general rule is that if it's something you have to hide from your partner then you shouldn't be doing it. | |||
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"All men check out other women, if they say they don't they're lying. Difference is being subtle and discreet about it rather than making it obvious. " Are you absolutely sure you can speak on behalf of all men? That’s getting on for 4 billion people. Or is there a chance you’re projecting just your own views onto others? | |||
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"All men check out other women, if they say they don't they're lying. Difference is being subtle and discreet about it rather than making it obvious. Are you absolutely sure you can speak on behalf of all men? That’s getting on for 4 billion people. Or is there a chance you’re projecting just your own views onto others?" 4 billion? I still have a few to go then | |||
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"All men check out other women, if they say they don't they're lying. Difference is being subtle and discreet about it rather than making it obvious. Are you absolutely sure you can speak on behalf of all men? That’s getting on for 4 billion people. Or is there a chance you’re projecting just your own views onto others? 4 billion? I still have a few to go then" That bedpost has so many notches even the woodworm are going hungry | |||
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"All men check out other women, if they say they don't they're lying. Difference is being subtle and discreet about it rather than making it obvious. Are you absolutely sure you can speak on behalf of all men? That’s getting on for 4 billion people. Or is there a chance you’re projecting just your own views onto others? 4 billion? I still have a few to go then That bedpost has so many notches even the woodworm are going hungry " I know, right Im gonna have to resort to feeding them a few of my past conquest's heads soon | |||
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"It’s really just down to politeness; when you’re with someone you should be really with them. What you describe is like when people go to the pub and keep messaging someone else on their phone." Some people have a relationship where it would be ok. But I think they are rare. If someone kept commenting on other women I'd let him go have them instead. It's rude and disrespectful. | |||
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"If something makes you feel rubbish and your partner knows and chooses to carry on then that’s not ok. " In a nutshell! | |||
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"If something makes you feel rubbish and your partner knows and chooses to carry on then that’s not ok. " | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone? Asking for a friend (and myself). My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc" I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question. Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship. My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship. | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone? Asking for a friend (and myself). My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question. Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship. My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship. " But thats my point. I wasn't talking about 'interactions' I was asking about comments Comments such as " she's got a lovely arse" And " I'd love to fuck her" | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone? Asking for a friend (and myself). My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question. Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship. My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship. But thats my point. I wasn't talking about 'interactions' I was asking about comments Comments such as " she's got a lovely arse" And " I'd love to fuck her"" I’ve personally had such comments as ‘love to her’ drilled in that this could be considered creepy... | |||
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"It never bothered me with my ex, but we were swingers - I certainly hope he never played with anyone that he didn't find attractive. I think it depends on the dynamics of your relationship, and also you as people. If somebody I was meeting casually now i'm single did it while we were on a meet, they wouldn't see me for dust - not because I'd be jealous (I don't understand jealousy, such a pointless emotion), but because I'd find it disrespectful. " jealousy affects so many of us even if we believe it doesn't | |||
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"If something makes you feel rubbish and your partner knows and chooses to carry on then that’s not ok. " Exactly that. I think with me, now and then yeah no problem, I can appreciate beauty and point it out myself. At a club or whilst browsing together on here then that's fine. Out and about, or watching telly and it happens regularly then I'd be fucked off no end. Like seriously dude, am I that boring, am I that unflattering? With me it would have a knock on effect to my self esteem, I know that, so that's something I'd not tolerate for my own wellbeing and if another person couldn't understand that.... see ya fresh *waves goodbye* P | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?" Not sure under what conditions/circumstances it's happening and your dynamics but with my husband we'd often comment about a person that caught an eye of one of us. Whether it's a man or a woman, live, on tv or online. We find it as open and honest thing to do. We don't humiliate each other either in comparison to the said person. | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? Not sure under what conditions/circumstances it's happening and your dynamics but with my husband we'd often comment about a person that caught an eye of one of us. Whether it's a man or a woman, live, on tv or online. We find it as open and honest thing to do. We don't humiliate each other either in comparison to the said person." Exactly this. We do it in a fun, flirty way and like you said we never humiliate each other or make the other feel uncomfortable. | |||
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"Paul is a bit oblivious bless him, but i will point women out to him that i think he will like." That's funny, I do exactly the same | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?" No!!!! I had a social with a man who kept checking out women at the cashiers desk behind me. He wanted to see me again and I said no. Turned me right off. It’s incredibly rude. | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? No!!!! I had a social with a man who kept checking out women at the cashiers desk behind me. He wanted to see me again and I said no. Turned me right off. It’s incredibly rude." You're absolutely right. I've always made sure that if I meet someone or out with someone, I treat them like they are the only person in the room. It's just basic gentlemanly conduct and common courtesy | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? No!!!! I had a social with a man who kept checking out women at the cashiers desk behind me. He wanted to see me again and I said no. Turned me right off. It’s incredibly rude. You're absolutely right. I've always made sure that if I meet someone or out with someone, I treat them like they are the only person in the room. It's just basic gentlemanly conduct and common courtesy " Exactly! | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone? Asking for a friend (and myself). My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question. Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship. My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship. But thats my point. I wasn't talking about 'interactions' I was asking about comments Comments such as " she's got a lovely arse" And " I'd love to fuck her"" How do you feel about comments like that OP? | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone? Asking for a friend (and myself). My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question. Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship. My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship. But thats my point. I wasn't talking about 'interactions' I was asking about comments Comments such as " she's got a lovely arse" And " I'd love to fuck her" How do you feel about comments like that OP?" Are you a psychologist in your other life? | |||
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"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women? Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are? Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone? Asking for a friend (and myself). My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question. Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship. My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship. But thats my point. I wasn't talking about 'interactions' I was asking about comments Comments such as " she's got a lovely arse" And " I'd love to fuck her" How do you feel about comments like that OP? Are you a psychologist in your other life? " I'm imagining a Dr Melfi from the Sopranos | |||
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