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Priorities - connection or sex?

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By *ix-foot-two-stu OP   Man
over a year ago

Coventry

Met someone on a normal dating site. She’s close to an ideal partner. Intelligent, thoughtful, kind, generous, a lovely person, has a great body (I mean very close to my idea of perfect) and the sex is amazing. I’m pretty sure I’d never find a woman with such an awesome body.

But there isn’t really much of a connection. And while she’s talking about settling down, I’m happy just seeing her at weekends.

I’m really torn about what to do.

Lose the best sex ever in the hope of finding someone who is less of a physical match but who we have a proper telepathically close connection? Or plod on not having a laugh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No brainer - connection .

It’s all fickle without it. If it’s a relationship there’s no point unless you laugh. The best sex comes from connection too so it’s not the best sex you’ll ever have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Connection all the way. Sex is meaningless and with out purpose without the connection. Mentally and intellectually. Heightens the senses in my view. A concept lost on most off here.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

It’s only the best sex you’ve had so far, not that you will ever have.

If you’re after some short term fun she sounds ideal (as long as that’s what she wants and it sounds lime maybe not).

If you want a long term relationship, look elsewhere or see if this can develop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do the decent thing and end it now. You're only contemplating this because she's physically attractive. If she has feelings for you, she will be more hurt when it eventually does end.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 25/10/19 08:24:40]

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

You are the problem by that it may be you are you scared of commitment there only one real way of finding out give up the fab a couple of weeks and concentrate on her then see how you feel.

Need to let your self..

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

You said it all..'plod on' who just wants to plod on? ...not me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do the decent thing and end it now. You're only contemplating this because she's physically attractive. If she has feelings for you, she will be more hurt when it eventually does end. "

Deffo. Its early enough to avoid hurting each other and those around you. Family and friends as it's harder the longer you leave it. Plus im sure shes adult enough to know the situation. Its about communication. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Sex isnt the only thing you're going to find cementing a relationship. It's so much more. If something is missing then it's not right for you or her.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Great sex in the end doesn't make up for what's lacking..it soon wears off

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

If you're actually looking for a relationship, then there needs to be a connection.

Great sex, is great. But what happens when you're not in bed?

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"Met someone on a normal dating site. She’s close to an ideal partner. Intelligent, thoughtful, kind, generous, a lovely person, has a great body (I mean very close to my idea of perfect) and the sex is amazing. I’m pretty sure I’d never find a woman with such an awesome body.

But there isn’t really much of a connection. And while she’s talking about settling down, I’m happy just seeing her at weekends.

I’m really torn about what to do.

Lose the best sex ever in the hope of finding someone who is less of a physical match but who we have a proper telepathically close connection? Or plod on not having a laugh?"

Talk to her

She might be thinking that you're not her perfect match either but you tick 7 out of 10 boxes and she's happy to work with that.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Ps can I have her number ?

Asking for a friend

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By *ix-foot-two-stu OP   Man
over a year ago

Coventry

Thanks for the replies. I kind of guessed that the bulk of the advice would be to move on.

Has been a strange experience. She was so conservative in her profile but she loves sex, and when I first undressed her, I couldn’t believe my luck.

I’m going to talk to her I think. See where it goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There has to be connection / chemistry. Surely?

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

You can't make a life with someone you have no connection with no matter how great the sex. You would quickly get bored. Time to move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Connection... No question... There's so much more to life than sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks fade OP the connection can be there for a lifetime.

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By *i1971Man
over a year ago

Cornwall

Has to be a connection. There are likely to be some compromises in any relationship, but I see the connection as being the foundations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has to be a connection everytime. Without that sex is dull. Sex can come and go but that spark/connection can last a lifetime.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon


"Met someone on a normal dating site. She’s close to an ideal partner. Intelligent, thoughtful, kind, generous, a lovely person, has a great body (I mean very close to my idea of perfect) and the sex is amazing. I’m pretty sure I’d never find a woman with such an awesome body.

But there isn’t really much of a connection. And while she’s talking about settling down, I’m happy just seeing her at weekends.

I’m really torn about what to do.

Lose the best sex ever in the hope of finding someone who is less of a physical match but who we have a proper telepathically close connection? Or plod on not having a laugh?"

I’m in a similar position OP. Been dating a girl from POF for seven months and now on the verge of moving in together. Great sex and a real connection, we get on well. But, a nagging doubt, am I doing the right thing? I guess it’s the usual nerves around such a change.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

You should be thinking about her. Would she want to be in a long-term relationship with somebody who doesn't really love her and is only with her because she's a good lay? This isn't all about you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/10/19 09:34:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lighning in a bottle or nothing

When you have flown with angels mortals just dont cut it

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"You should be thinking about her. Would she want to be in a long-term relationship with somebody who doesn't really love her and is only with her because she's a good lay? This isn't all about you. "

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Long term you need a connection because there will be times when one or the other of you doesn't want or isn't able to have sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely a connection

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

But as a short term fwb thing I can't see a problem as long as you both know where you stand with it.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I need a level of connection or I’m not interested in sex. But ultimately I’m here to have sex with a few people I connect with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had the compleate opposite great connection got on incredibly and a hot body but the sex was crap she just wasn't interested once a fortnight was too much and it was Boring sex as well. I think you need a balance somewhere in the middle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Connection for me,need to have a spark,some chemistry,and be like minded,otherwise sex for me is just a bore!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

great sex comes with a great connection, becoming emotionally involved makes the sex even better, it all sounds very one sided to me, like others have said let her go, you have to be fair!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Connection. Whether you want passionate sex or a good hard fuck there should be a match of the minds first.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

Connection every time. You could have sex with anyone as a physical act but a good connection doesn’t come along every day.

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