FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Misunderstood

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?

I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!

And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!

Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?

I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!

And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!

Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?"

I would, if they dont stick by you why should you bother?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens all the time.

Do I give a shit? It depends on the state of toilet I am sitting on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes

Is this a one off judgement?

Are they judging you on this occasion by your old behaviour?

Is a friendship worth throwing away?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use my fuckit bucket for other conundrums

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

If they can’t support you at your worst (and I’m not saying you have done anything wrong) then they don’t deserve you at your best

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"If they can’t support you at your worst (and I’m not saying you have done anything wrong) then they don’t deserve you at your best"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I had a conversation with

A person about a friend who had a baby and just asked if they had seen them and were they ok ra ra ra and she told the said person i was gossiping about her! Actually gob smacked as iv always been so kind and to imply id be hurtful is mental! She also said she got told it by another friend which is friggin window licking crazy because i had it with her!

Talk about the wheels spinning but the hamsters

Dead x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I use my fuckit bucket for other conundrums "

It's where im heading tbf

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales


"I had a conversation with

A person about a friend who had a baby and just asked if they had seen them and were they ok ra ra ra and she told the said person i was gossiping about her! Actually gob smacked as iv always been so kind and to imply id be hurtful is mental! She also said she got told it by another friend which is friggin window licking crazy because i had it with her!

Talk about the wheels spinning but the hamsters

Dead x "

Then i’d personally distance myself.

If they are so quick to believe other people instead of coming to you and asking you directly, like a grown up, then i’d fuck them off. Permanently.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?

I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!

And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!

Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?"

Wow that sounds rough and a bit unfair if the people you are close to won't give you the benefit of the doubt.

I would probably give it another go just to get my point across however it may make me feel differently about them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

Sounds like a pot stirrer, they can't live without causing drama & your just the latest target.

Just remind yourself that they must have an intensely boring life to be behaving like that.

Personality, I cut folk like that out. Can not be bothered with it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Yes.

Very recently, explaining to a very dear friend how I was feeling.

I don't regret what I wrote, as it's how I felt, but I could have worded it better, avoided a lot of confusion, misunderstanding & hurt.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

She's in a sad situation and trying to be what she couldn't be.

Im very shocked and iv apologised to her if i upset her but that she has misunderstood.

Shame really but hey ho!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Sounds like handbags to me, if you lose them over such a pathetic reason I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like handbags to me, if you lose them over such a pathetic reason I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest."

No i agree, just a little disappointed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

In general I tend to be kisunderstood and what I say is taken the wrong way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"Sounds like handbags to me, if you lose them over such a pathetic reason I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest.

No i agree, just a little disappointed "

I can understand being disappointed but at least you know now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hechapMan
over a year ago

Derry

I misunderstood the post.

I thought it was going to be about some girl called Miss Understood.

Sounds like an old school mistress.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to the person who you 'apparently' gossiped about and tell her what actually happened. People misunderstand things and you may may be able to put her straight. If not....at least you will know you tried x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lack UhuruMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?

I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!

And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!

Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?"

I've been in that situation to and it normally sorts itself out in the end.

Chucking it in the fuck it box depends on how much you value their friendship. Maybe they need time to think about things and will contact you at some point but there's no point throwing away good friends unless you know there's nothing to resolve.

I hope things resolve for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I've been in a similar situation - where possible if you clarify your intent and what happened then it normally resolves itself. I do think the strength of the friendship comes into play as well as the maturity of both parties; if it means a lot to you and you're both willing to openly communicate about it then it fixes itself. If not? Meh, you're better off without them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Go to the person who you 'apparently' gossiped about and tell her what actually happened. People misunderstand things and you may may be able to put her straight. If not....at least you will know you tried x"

Yes iv done that today actually and she is fine ,im trying to sort it xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If you're ok with the person you "gossiped" about I'd forget the other two.

How did you voice your concerns? Did you use language like you used about the others further up? Why did you ask someone else and not the person you were concerned about?

I'm not disbelieving you, just trying to see the bigger picture and why someone would interpret your actions differently.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let it all cool down for a few days, maybe a week, and then approach it again when you and everyone else is calm. Until then please dont give any fucks to it, please

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

Happens to me all the time

Forever being misunderstood...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm usually clear enough with my words so that I'm not misunderstood

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?

I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!

And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!

Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?"

Every day

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go to the person who you 'apparently' gossiped about and tell her what actually happened. People misunderstand things and you may may be able to put her straight. If not....at least you will know you tried x

Yes iv done that today actually and she is fine ,im trying to sort it xx"

That's great

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?

I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!

And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!

Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?"

Yes, quite a few times. It's partially my fault as I don't always explain myself very well. I do tend to clash with certain people though, theyve a tendency to distort what I've said, to make me look stupid, or the guilty party.

Stand up to those kind of people, if you've not done anything wrong, then push back.. Hard! They'll think twice before doing it again.

Pays to check yo'self first though, talk to a close friend who you know says things as they see them. Perhaps it is you, you've only just realised, or yet to realise, you may be partially, or completely at fault. Takes a brave kind of person to hold their hands up and apologise once they know.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever been totally misunderstood and taken out of context,being made to look bad with people you really value?

I feel awful! I fear i may have lost a bunch of great people whom seem to find it easier to think badly of me than give me the benefit of the doubt!

And i really haven't done anything wrong!!!grrrr sorry to twist!

Do i chuck it in the fuckit bucket?

Yes, quite a few times. It's partially my fault as I don't always explain myself very well. I do tend to clash with certain people though, theyve a tendency to distort what I've said, to make me look stupid, or the guilty party.

Stand up to those kind of people, if you've not done anything wrong, then push back.. Hard! They'll think twice before doing it again.

Pays to check yo'self first though, talk to a close friend who you know says things as they see them. Perhaps it is you, you've only just realised, or yet to realise, you may be partially, or completely at fault. Takes a brave kind of person to hold their hands up and apologise once they know."

I agree, good idea to check with someone impartial but truthful. Might just be the way you said it.

If they don't listen to your explanation/ apology, don't beat yourself up about it. You know what you meant OP.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well i spent the day apologising for something i didn't do and i think its all good now folks ,cheers for the advice.

X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top