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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen? "Yes it can happen. They're still together 10 years on.  | |||
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"I don't think "love" is the right word OP but I *do* think it's possible to find a deep connection and even level of affection for someone you've not met but have opened up to. I know there are people on here who I've never met who I consider to be as good a friend as some in my real life for example. I also think sometimes it's possible to get caught up in the excitement of finding someone likeminded and on your wavelength, that initial flurry of messages back and forth etc, and mistake it for something more than it actually is - so it's always best to have your guard up to it to an extent at least until you've met and cemented those feelings in something more tangible." My problem is I wear my heart on my sleeve....  | |||
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"Yes, we spent many hours phoning and talking while we were living on different continents and declared our love for each other. Then we met once (about seven months after discoveringeeach other). Before we met for a second time we decided we wanted to live together before. Now we live together! "Love this!!  | |||
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"I’d say not love, but a connection yes. You never truly know someone until you meet and spend time with them " I do agree with you that you don't know someone until you've met them...xx | |||
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"I don't think "love" is the right word OP but I *do* think it's possible to find a deep connection and even level of affection for someone you've not met but have opened up to. I know there are people on here who I've never met who I consider to be as good a friend as some in my real life for example. I also think sometimes it's possible to get caught up in the excitement of finding someone likeminded and on your wavelength, that initial flurry of messages back and forth etc, and mistake it for something more than it actually is - so it's always best to have your guard up to it to an extent at least until you've met and cemented those feelings in something more tangible." | |||
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"Hell. No." Liar  | |||
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"Hell. No. Liar
Oh sorry, besides you Marple " oh shucks | |||
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"I’ve had an online infatuation that increased when we met. But it was just an infatuation " i remember that | |||
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"I’ve had an online infatuation that increased when we met. But it was just an infatuation i remember that" indeed. Not my finest moment | |||
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"You can fall in love with the idea of someone but it’s just words until you meet and get to know each other in person.. " Agreed. And sometimes there is a huge chasm between the fantasy and the reality | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen? "Yes absolutely. Mr Cagey and I fell in love that way an ocean apart twenty years ago
If you’re both honest and open and read each other well it’s totally possible. It was back in the day when you had to scan photos in. After a year we met both having seen just a handful of photos when I flew to England to see if it was real. You can always message us if you want to chat about it more - Mrs | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen?
Yes absolutely. Mr Cagey and I fell in love that way an ocean apart twenty years ago
If you’re both honest and open and read each other well it’s totally possible. It was back in the day when you had to scan photos in. After a year we met both having seen just a handful of photos when I flew to England to see if it was real. You can always message us if you want to chat about it more - Mrs "Aww that's lovely...certainly gives me hope...xxx | |||
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"Kinda. I met Ash on here and I knew we would end up together before we had even met. It wasn't exactly love but I knew it would be and I'm happy to say I was right. " | |||
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"Kinda. I met Ash on here and I knew we would end up together before we had even met. It wasn't exactly love but I knew it would be and I'm happy to say I was right. "You 2 are so cute | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen?
Yes absolutely. Mr Cagey and I fell in love that way an ocean apart twenty years ago
If you’re both honest and open and read each other well it’s totally possible. It was back in the day when you had to scan photos in. After a year we met both having seen just a handful of photos when I flew to England to see if it was real. You can always message us if you want to chat about it more - Mrs " | |||
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"You can fall in love with the idea of someone but it’s just words until you meet and get to know each other in person.. " That's precisely it. The idea of someone! | |||
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"Thanks all for your replies...very, very mixed too. Personally I don't see why it can't happen, but then I fall in love very easily....but I also agree that you never really know someone until you've spent physical time with them xxxx "We knew each other. It was so weird to actually be together. We only had a few photos and no video before we met. But we were just so meant to be and that’s not changed. Many years ago people began their love affairs with just post cards and photos and letters. There can be a depth there that isn’t always there with being together in person. You’ve only got conversation. | |||
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"You can fall in love with the idea of someone but it’s just words until you meet and get to know each other in person.. " Yes I completely agree. A male friend told me years ago that online it’s quite literally words on a screen, some people will write anything to get what they want. I’m too trusting but am more cautious now. | |||
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"I don't think "love" is the right word OP but I *do* think it's possible to find a deep connection and even level of affection for someone you've not met but have opened up to. I know there are people on here who I've never met who I consider to be as good a friend as some in my real life for example. I also think sometimes it's possible to get caught up in the excitement of finding someone likeminded and on your wavelength, that initial flurry of messages back and forth etc, and mistake it for something more than it actually is - so it's always best to have your guard up to it to an extent at least until you've met and cemented those feelings in something more tangible." I (her) agree with this response but that doesn't mean that I totally disagree that love cant be found before meeting in person. | |||
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"You can fall in love with the idea of someone but it’s just words until you meet and get to know each other in person.. Yes I completely agree. A male friend told me years ago that online it’s quite literally words on a screen, some people will write anything to get what they want. I’m too trusting but am more cautious now. " Oh for sure...I've been led up the garden path several times (I think this ties in with the gut instinct thread...) but if you don't ever take a chance then what's the point...? xxx | |||
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"Thanks all for your replies...very, very mixed too. Personally I don't see why it can't happen, but then I fall in love very easily....but I also agree that you never really know someone until you've spent physical time with them xxxx
We knew each other. It was so weird to actually be together. We only had a few photos and no video before we met. But we were just so meant to be and that’s not changed. Many years ago people began their love affairs with just post cards and photos and letters. There can be a depth there that isn’t always there with being together in person. You’ve only got conversation. " I think it can be easier to chat via letters/ text. You talk about things you may not have discussed until later into the relationship. You need to keep communication going when you're not physically together... rather than sitting around watching tv in silence. | |||
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"I don't think "love" is the right word OP but I *do* think it's possible to find a deep connection and even level of affection for someone you've not met but have opened up to. I know there are people on here who I've never met who I consider to be as good a friend as some in my real life for example. I also think sometimes it's possible to get caught up in the excitement of finding someone likeminded and on your wavelength, that initial flurry of messages back and forth etc, and mistake it for something more than it actually is - so it's always best to have your guard up to it to an extent at least until you've met and cemented those feelings in something more tangible. My problem is I wear my heart on my sleeve.... "And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that if it's reciprocated and things remain that way - but on-line can also be a very fickle and transient place sometimes, especially sites like this - hence my second paragraph | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen? "Nope, shouldn't have, yes a couple of times. Fallen in lust with a few though, then fallen in Love after meeting and now married to. | |||
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"I don't think "love" is the right word OP but I *do* think it's possible to find a deep connection and even level of affection for someone you've not met but have opened up to. I know there are people on here who I've never met who I consider to be as good a friend as some in my real life for example. I also think sometimes it's possible to get caught up in the excitement of finding someone likeminded and on your wavelength, that initial flurry of messages back and forth etc, and mistake it for something more than it actually is - so it's always best to have your guard up to it to an extent at least until you've met and cemented those feelings in something more tangible." Agreed, well said GM | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen? "I'll admit it's possible, but I compartmentalise very well. | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen?
I'll admit it's possible, but I compartmentalise very well."No. You can fall in love with whatever they tell you they are. I can't believe people are naive enough to believe everything they read especially from someone they really don't know! | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen?
I'll admit it's possible, but I compartmentalise very well.
No. You can fall in love with whatever they tell you they are.
I can't believe people are naive enough to believe everything they read especially from someone they really don't know! "I'll admit it's possible for some, wpuldn't be for me. It could all be a carefully crafted illusion. I wouldn't know any better until i'd have actually met the person. Even then, it would have to be some person to awaken those feelings in me. | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen?
I'll admit it's possible, but I compartmentalise very well.
No. You can fall in love with whatever they tell you they are.
I can't believe people are naive enough to believe everything they read especially from someone they really don't know! "Is that any different from finding out after 5 years or more of marriage they are not the person you thought they were? That's not that uncommon. | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen?
I'll admit it's possible, but I compartmentalise very well.
No. You can fall in love with whatever they tell you they are.
I can't believe people are naive enough to believe everything they read especially from someone they really don't know! "Gotta agree | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen?
I'll admit it's possible, but I compartmentalise very well.
No. You can fall in love with whatever they tell you they are.
I can't believe people are naive enough to believe everything they read especially from someone they really don't know!
Is that any different from finding out after 5 years or more of marriage they are not the person you thought they were? That's not that uncommon."Yes completely. I could tell anyone anything online. It's much harder face to face... and to keep that up living with someone takes special talent. So yes. I can't believe people so readily believe anything they are told without meeting the person. | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen?
I'll admit it's possible, but I compartmentalise very well.
No. You can fall in love with whatever they tell you they are.
I can't believe people are naive enough to believe everything they read especially from someone they really don't know!
Is that any different from finding out after 5 years or more of marriage they are not the person you thought they were? That's not that uncommon.
Yes completely. I could tell anyone anything online. It's much harder face to face... and to keep that up living with someone takes special talent. So yes. I can't believe people so readily believe anything they are told without meeting the person. "Again I find myself agreeing with you! | |||
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"I don't think "love" is the right word OP but I *do* think it's possible to find a deep connection and even level of affection for someone you've not met but have opened up to. I know there are people on here who I've never met who I consider to be as good a friend as some in my real life for example. I also think sometimes it's possible to get caught up in the excitement of finding someone likeminded and on your wavelength, that initial flurry of messages back and forth etc, and mistake it for something more than it actually is - so it's always best to have your guard up to it to an extent at least until you've met and cemented those feelings in something more tangible. Agreed, well said GM "I agree with this completely too. I look for that connection when talking to someone in messages etc but I’m scared of letting myself myself feel any more because it might not be real. I protect my heart these days. Probably too much  | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen? "I certainly couldn't. Call me cynical, but words are just words - especially on here. Actions speak louder than words, and I need to spend time with someone in person. That said, love is not a word that I use lightly, so it takes someone very special to elicit it from my lips. | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen?
I'll admit it's possible, but I compartmentalise very well.
No. You can fall in love with whatever they tell you they are.
I can't believe people are naive enough to believe everything they read especially from someone they really don't know!
Is that any different from finding out after 5 years or more of marriage they are not the person you thought they were? That's not that uncommon.
Yes completely. I could tell anyone anything online. It's much harder face to face... and to keep that up living with someone takes special talent. So yes. I can't believe people so readily believe anything they are told without meeting the person. "Yes anyone can say anything they like on-line and *could* be hiding the truth and that is why guardedness is needed - BUT if a strong enough connection is made and you spend hours messaging one another sharing all aspects of your lives, likes and dislikes, like any untruth it becomes harder to hide and you *can* get a flavour of the real person and *can* develop feelings. Whether those feelings are actual "love" in the majority of cases I'm not so sure and as I said in my initial post I think it's easy to get carried away with the idea and read more into something than there actually is - in some instances it may be love, in others more infatuation, in others still a deep seated connection and affection and again that is why a level of guardedness is needed. But as has been shown a couple of times on this thread "love" is possible and has panned out into a lasting relationship. Sadly all too often it isn't actual love but fleeting infatuation or something else and we see that all too often with the "couples" that form and then spectacularly fall out on here. | |||
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"....with someone you haven't met yet? Messaging, talking on the phone, exchanging photos, deep, emotional chats.... Can it happen?
I'll admit it's possible, but I compartmentalise very well.
No. You can fall in love with whatever they tell you they are.
I can't believe people are naive enough to believe everything they read especially from someone they really don't know!
Is that any different from finding out after 5 years or more of marriage they are not the person you thought they were? That's not that uncommon.
Yes completely. I could tell anyone anything online. It's much harder face to face... and to keep that up living with someone takes special talent. So yes. I can't believe people so readily believe anything they are told without meeting the person.
Yes anyone can say anything they like on-line and *could* be hiding the truth and that is why guardedness is needed - BUT if a strong enough connection is made and you spend hours messaging one another sharing all aspects of your lives, likes and dislikes, like any untruth it becomes harder to hide and you *can* get a flavour of the real person and *can* develop feelings.
Whether those feelings are actual "love" in the majority of cases I'm not so sure and as I said in my initial post I think it's easy to get carried away with the idea and read more into something than there actually is - in some instances it may be love, in others more infatuation, in others still a deep seated connection and affection and again that is why a level of guardedness is needed.
But as has been shown a couple of times on this thread "love" is possible and has panned out into a lasting relationship.
Sadly all too often it isn't actual love but fleeting infatuation or something else and we see that all too often with the "couples" that form and then spectacularly fall out on here."Yes it *can* be the beginnings of love. But that can't ever be confirmed until you've actually spent time in their company. | |||
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"I don't think "love" is the right word OP but I *do* think it's possible to find a deep connection and even level of affection for someone you've not met but have opened up to. I know there are people on here who I've never met who I consider to be as good a friend as some in my real life for example. I also think sometimes it's possible to get caught up in the excitement of finding someone likeminded and on your wavelength, that initial flurry of messages back and forth etc, and mistake it for something more than it actually is - so it's always best to have your guard up to it to an extent at least until you've met and cemented those feelings in something more tangible." | |||
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"Yes. It's how Stag and I met - fell in love online before we ever met in person. Fourteen years ago, married ten now. So yes, despite the naysayers, it bloody well can happen!! "I refer you to my comment above. Only the completely naive would believe it's love until you've actually met the person. You'd be a fool to believe anything else. | |||
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"Yes. It's how Stag and I met - fell in love online before we ever met in person. Fourteen years ago, married ten now. So yes, despite the naysayers, it bloody well can happen!! "Exactly. I know exactly how I felt, I know exactly why I felt it, I also know my feeling were justified and there was no dishonesty playing a part in them. I am far from a gullible person. I think things through quite extensively (some would even say too much), I'm not quick to trust (though I don't sit there assuming and expecting everyone is looking to be dishonest) and yet there I was in love with somebody I'd yet to meet at the time. Its not something that I fell in to, it developed over time getting stronger and deeper. I still love them, no longer romantically. Just because it didn't happen to you, and/or you don't allow yourself to be open to the possibility does not make it any less possible, nor does it make everyone it happens to niave just because it did happen. | |||
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"Yes. It's how Stag and I met - fell in love online before we ever met in person. Fourteen years ago, married ten now. So yes, despite the naysayers, it bloody well can happen!!
I refer you to my comment above. Only the completely naive would believe it's love until you've actually met the person. You'd be a fool to believe anything else. "Not interested in your comment above as you seem to take joy in slamming everyone's comments in every thread you're in. Thanks but no thanks Mum | |||
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"Yes. It's how Stag and I met - fell in love online before we ever met in person. Fourteen years ago, married ten now. So yes, despite the naysayers, it bloody well can happen!!
I refer you to my comment above. Only the completely naive would believe it's love until you've actually met the person. You'd be a fool to believe anything else.
Not interested in your comment above as you seem to take joy in slamming everyone's comments in every thread you're in. Thanks but no thanks Mum "That's a shame that you think that. I'm not slamming anyone. Just thinking there are a lot of vulnerable people on here and most aren't as lucky as you. Sad that you have felt the need to make it personal. | |||
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"Yes. It's how Stag and I met - fell in love online before we ever met in person. Fourteen years ago, married ten now. So yes, despite the naysayers, it bloody well can happen!!
I refer you to my comment above. Only the completely naive would believe it's love until you've actually met the person. You'd be a fool to believe anything else.
Not interested in your comment above as you seem to take joy in slamming everyone's comments in every thread you're in. Thanks but no thanks Mum
That's a shame that you think that. I'm not slamming anyone. Just thinking there are a lot of vulnerable people on here and most aren't as lucky as you. Sad that you have felt the need to make it personal. "Blame-shifting doesn't work on me. You indeed were slamming when you implied I was naive and a fool. Quit while you're ahead. | |||
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"Yes. It's how Stag and I met - fell in love online before we ever met in person. Fourteen years ago, married ten now. So yes, despite the naysayers, it bloody well can happen!!
I refer you to my comment above. Only the completely naive would believe it's love until you've actually met the person. You'd be a fool to believe anything else.
Not interested in your comment above as you seem to take joy in slamming everyone's comments in every thread you're in. Thanks but no thanks Mum
That's a shame that you think that. I'm not slamming anyone. Just thinking there are a lot of vulnerable people on here and most aren't as lucky as you. Sad that you have felt the need to make it personal.
Blame-shifting doesn't work on me. You indeed were slamming when you implied I was naive and a fool. Quit while you're ahead. "Anyone going into something blind is being naive. It worked for you. Most aren't so lucky. I stand by what I said. It obviously hit a nerve otherwise you wouldn't have taken it so personally. I'll quit when I'm ready. | |||
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"Yes. It's how Stag and I met - fell in love online before we ever met in person. Fourteen years ago, married ten now. So yes, despite the naysayers, it bloody well can happen!!
I refer you to my comment above. Only the completely naive would believe it's love until you've actually met the person. You'd be a fool to believe anything else.
Not interested in your comment above as you seem to take joy in slamming everyone's comments in every thread you're in. Thanks but no thanks Mum
That's a shame that you think that. I'm not slamming anyone. Just thinking there are a lot of vulnerable people on here and most aren't as lucky as you. Sad that you have felt the need to make it personal.
Blame-shifting doesn't work on me. You indeed were slamming when you implied I was naive and a fool. Quit while you're ahead.
Anyone going into something blind is being naive. It worked for you. Most aren't so lucky. I stand by what I said. It obviously hit a nerve otherwise you wouldn't have taken it so personally. I'll quit when I'm ready. "Lol no it didn’t hit a nerve. You saying that I was « making it personal » when it was YOU that made it personal annoyed me. Reminded me of a person I used to know with Borderline Personality Disorder - and they’re utterly pointless people to discuss anything with, as their beliefs trump others’ experiences, and they constantly try to turn the tables. 
So you’re right sweetie, you carry on until you’re good and ready to quit. In my experience of BDP people, that’ll be never, so I’ll leave you to it. | |||
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"Yes. It's how Stag and I met - fell in love online before we ever met in person. Fourteen years ago, married ten now. So yes, despite the naysayers, it bloody well can happen!!
Exactly.
I know exactly how I felt, I know exactly why I felt it, I also know my feeling were justified and there was no dishonesty playing a part in them.
I am far from a gullible person. I think things through quite extensively (some would even say too much), I'm not quick to trust (though I don't sit there assuming and expecting everyone is looking to be dishonest) and yet there I was in love with somebody I'd yet to meet at the time. Its not something that I fell in to, it developed over time getting stronger and deeper. I still love them, no longer romantically.
Just because it didn't happen to you, and/or you don't allow yourself to be open to the possibility does not make it any less possible, nor does it make everyone it happens to niave just because it did happen. "Exactly. Both Mr and I are quick to distrust, and back when we met online it was considered incredibly dangerous and crazy to do so. We talked until all hours on the phone, messaged all day long. We were sure we were in love but didn’t want to admit it really, it seemed impossible. But there I stood in the airport, I looked up and he was walking toward me and despite only seeing about 6 photos of each other, we knew we’d found each other In the crowd. He walked toward me and held me in a hug that felt like coming home. He held me for ages and I whispered “I love you”. We were fascinated to finally be together. Relieved it was real, infatuated and couldn’t believe how we fit together like two halves. His hugs still feel the same as the first one. People can say there’s no way but there is, it’s just that it doesn’t happen to everyone. I think now everyone flirts and dates online. We were friends, we flirted of course. But the chemistry even 3000 miles apart was not imagined or wishful thinking or it wouldn’t have worked beyond a shag or two. 20 years later he still does it for me. I still love him so much it hurts. Sorry for the tangent on the reply. Maybe it’s rare for it to happen, but it isn’t impossible as anyone who knows us says we were meant to be and we felt that before we ever touched or even were on the same continent. - Mrs | |||
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"Yes. It's how Stag and I met - fell in love online before we ever met in person. Fourteen years ago, married ten now. So yes, despite the naysayers, it bloody well can happen!!
Exactly.
I know exactly how I felt, I know exactly why I felt it, I also know my feeling were justified and there was no dishonesty playing a part in them.
I am far from a gullible person. I think things through quite extensively (some would even say too much), I'm not quick to trust (though I don't sit there assuming and expecting everyone is looking to be dishonest) and yet there I was in love with somebody I'd yet to meet at the time. Its not something that I fell in to, it developed over time getting stronger and deeper. I still love them, no longer romantically.
Just because it didn't happen to you, and/or you don't allow yourself to be open to the possibility does not make it any less possible, nor does it make everyone it happens to niave just because it did happen.
Exactly. Both Mr and I are quick to distrust, and back when we met online it was considered incredibly dangerous and crazy to do so. We talked until all hours on the phone, messaged all day long. We were sure we were in love but didn’t want to admit it really, it seemed impossible. But there I stood in the airport, I looked up and he was walking toward me and despite only seeing about 6 photos of each other, we knew we’d found each other In the crowd. He walked toward me and held me in a hug that felt like coming home. He held me for ages and I whispered “I love you”. We were fascinated to finally be together. Relieved it was real, infatuated and couldn’t believe how we fit together like two halves. His hugs still feel the same as the first one. People can say there’s no way but there is, it’s just that it doesn’t happen to everyone. I think now everyone flirts and dates online. We were friends, we flirted of course. But the chemistry even 3000 miles apart was not imagined or wishful thinking or it wouldn’t have worked beyond a shag or two. 20 years later he still does it for me. I still love him so much it hurts.
Sorry for the tangent on the reply. Maybe it’s rare for it to happen, but it isn’t impossible as anyone who knows us says we were meant to be and we felt that before we ever touched or even were on the same continent. - Mrs "
All the evidence you need that it *can* happen right there | |||
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LJ | |||
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"... I looked up and he was walking toward me and despite only seeing about 6 photos of each other, we knew we’d found each other In the crowd. He walked toward me and held me in a hug that felt like coming home. He held me for ages and I whispered “I love you”. We were fascinated to finally be together. Relieved it was real, infatuated and couldn’t believe how we fit together like two halves...." Yep. That’s it right there. It’s mind-blowing isn’t it? It’s not common, but it happens. Fifteen years on and my heart still does loopty-loops when he walks in the door. | |||
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"I think in old money it’s called infatuation. No love. " Which leads to the discussion "what is love" (baby don't hurt me) | |||
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"I think in old money it’s called infatuation. No love. Which leads to the discussion "what is love" (baby don't hurt me) " All post eventually go haddaway | |||
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